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yamatocult · 5 years

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should i expect something, something else, a new person to guide the light through the tunnel all the while are you different, are you someone else, are you hiding the truth behind the portal you portray yourself through are you lying to me or do you mean to appease, appetize, despise, rolling around in the garden and covering with mud and with dirt, whiskey fire burns on the horizon, sets ablaze the diary's page, over and over flip book style, searching for the herm with eyes so gold and no and no i know

searching in the crypt for mummy's curse, carapace cure, dresses the shadow up overcoming me and concealing me, persona through mirror, double vision, creating twins connected at the ribs, suffering something, a burn and a sting, the body resists the corrosion but only as an after thought

eyes are weary, heavy are the hands that torment me, cut purse smile, heavy like rocks, locket of green light set aside the throne, heavy as the crown surrounds in birds, in doves, in the herm of god hands wrap around, touching the face, beg me the place where angels lose their way, and the skin loses color growing paler by the hour

lost in the soft hum of the color, askews itself lost behind the magnify of the glass, caught you in the haze of my stare to fold you up & put you in my death bag, demon summon sigil, i'll give them your name. there is not enough christ to stop me, chainsmoking in my apartment

theology is a joke, hacking the mouth apart, there is only one shard of truth & it is the deity i am becoming, come & catch you in my clutches, flesh distort & i will hold you, swallow you whole, everything the eye can see becomes lost in my time space distortion, everything now is a joke to me, demon sigil flare flicker in the night, disfigure reality

i'm fostering a feeling to deluge & keep away, cover up my eye, hiding behind a shadow i make myself, hiding myself away in a memory where you could never find me, too drunk to respond to a text, narrowing the scope, but i'm not finished with this yet. nurse myself into a trance, covered up by broken skin conceal & bandage wrapping, covering me whole to create something you would still yet recognize, hope keeps me from the crowd, hope keeps me planted in the soil yet watching thee, hope is for the weak and cowardly, i resign myself to this, covered up by moss & seaweed, where could i go now?

lost in the scope of the gaze, caught myself down the scope of a gun in a sector of antlia or bootes. i don't want to respond to the message, i don't want to think at all, spilled myself into a cosmo, dirty hands & dirty heart, catching the soul on a metal fence like a windsock, imagine myself a nightcrawler, imagining myself beyond this need, choking drowning, surround of eyes heaving

paint myself a pallet, heavy hand guides the mallet and in the dark i've seen myself, lost the paint down the drain of a sea of tears, worldly woes & childlike fears, still i attempt to convince myself i am of no need for this, still caught up in a ring of chain condemn me, seal me to you in an eager wait for dateline that never comes, make me this forever, mannequin smile body posed like a doll

catch myself in your eyes in the way orochimaru trap sasuke, i really am this time, it's really me in that screen looking back, drink to try to hide away from the existential dread, the dread of existing and just being alive, cover it up in the sweater and hide it away, i am missing limbs, i would dance in a pit of spirits in a realm of black colored by spotlights, i cannot get drunk enough to shake this pain off

peek out behind hands that cover the eyes i can see this resentment burning amaterasu killing siblings in the ice beside the kingdom of altena, reach inside your bible to find hidden behind holy lie ambrosia demons rewind, sitting in the bathroom pleading, peeling the flesh away from the bone, seeing the light reach out for something

but i could kick up my feet and live like nothing's wrong, i could keep on pretending and live in this dream, i could, but could i ever let this go? eyes foster resentment, pain smudge behind lipstick smile, it's all a dream and this picture fades, it gives away to create blaspheme grin, shuddered to spirits passing through again, bent over book & searching, what a miracle i find myself in these shoes, lost in dreams, my vision almost consuming me kept in curses, lost in verses, given to a chelsea grin & speak these words only

to a demon masked in gold, tulpa handhold in a childlike grasp, still i am begging, still only is He. covered waterwell eyes turned to the ground on hands and knees in summon circle not even god not even god not even GOD, but He. I turn my face toward the stars and i am begging, Magician graced in silken mask, not even nyarlathotep, a god who has no face grace my body, caress my mind, kiss the favor in a land unheard of, far from mortal eyes i wander

for my cure i rend arms & eyes & in heaps i echo, in ashes searched out, torn by molded tome, give this to me, i have given life after life, give me the soul that seeks me out, searing heart & flesh alike, fool's mask i still hide behind, this heart still beats in the ice & still i seek to raise the dead timidly with my eyes washed downstream, i can't believe i let my desire get so out of hand but we all want something, my anima speaks for itself, disheveled & unsure, manifests the bevelhead to tear apart your soul

#poem #mine

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