#but I’m a fucking public school teacher- I’m allowed to grieve a fucking school shooting FUCK

[just-rogi]

I’m fucking venting here bc I’m angry and don’t have anyone to talk to and I’m not sure if this is political correct or right or whatever but I’m fucking pissed - I’m a public school teacher who works in the inner city and this year alone there have been two shootings in my neighborhood involving students not dying school hours- and one student who went missing due to gang ties (they were found ALIVE a DAYS later) -

I’m fucking TIRED I’m FREAKED OUT and I’m ANGRY because I have to go into work tomorrow and I have to have that conversation with the kids during our SEL block because they will have questions and bc they are in middle school some will not know how to process it and will joke while others will be genuinely upset

and I feel nauseous thinking about the fact that my mother and four of my closest friends are all going through the same fucking shit as teachers at different schools right now- and my roommate who is trans- and unrelated to his identity is also kinda an asshole- has been shitting on me all night about how I’m not I’m danger like he is and how I don’t know his pain (and while I’m not making excuses I’m an openly gay teacher who works directly with the lgbt students and activly educated my kids on trans rights AND I work for a nonprofit organization that directly works to protect trans and queer rights and JUST LAST WEEK put out a video for our organization on antitrans laws - I’m not saying I fucking get what it’s like to be trans but Jesus fuck I’m fighting the fight for trans youth more than you are working at Whole Foods) why the FUCK are you quantifying suffering, why the FUCK are you lashing out at ME of all people, and why the fuck are you telling a public school teacher in inner city Boston that I have no idea what it’s like to be afraid- motherfucker I’m angry I’m sorry but why the fuck are you monopolizing suffering why do you think you have the right to talk to me this fucking way. I get you are scared but you work in Whole Foods in Massachusetts- the bluest state there is- )

there is no fucking cap on grief- sorry I’m upset at this as well but you saying it doesn’t directly effect me is just so fucking ignorant and suffering shouldn’t be quantifiable mf we are on the same fucking side why are you infighting right now (and I know this isn’t relevant and this is entirely unrelated to him being trans but god he is so fucking sexist- saying shit like I have no idea what it’s like to have my bodily autonomy at risk as if roe v wade didn’t get overturned THIS year???) sometimes it pisses me off like fucking sorry I’m being over emotional and overreacting to a school shooting as a fucking public school teacher GOD I should be allowed to be angry too in my own goddamn apartment-

you don’t get to sit on your high horse and say you suffer more than me and that I’m not allowed to be afraid ok I’m done I’m gonna go in tomorrow and make sure to hug my one openly trans kid extra hard bc I know they are suffering just like I know my roomate is suffering and needs a place to express his anger- I get I’m an easy target bc I’m a safe person to lash out at and I’m not telling anyone how to grieve and I know a lot of this is just knee jerk reaction to violence and anger- I just wish he wasn’t expressing it at the one fucking person who doesn’t deserve it, like fuck, the one thing people always say about public school teachers is that we have it TOO easy, especially the night after a school shooting

*Also fuck terfs and fuck anyone who is using a tragedy as an excuse to hate trans people*

#he keeps talking about how cis people need to do better #as if a) I haven’t talked in depth about my own gender identity and how I’m not entirely aligned with ‘cis womanhood’ as a lesbian #with a complexed identity #and b) even if I was cis (which in most cases it’s just easier to say that I am) IM THE ONE GETTING MY FUCKING BOOTS DIRTY HERE #IM THE ONE BRINGING IN BOOKS FOR MY QUEER KIDS WHEN THE LIBRARY DOESNT HAVE ANY #IM THE ONE ADVOCATING FOR CALLING OUR TRANS KIDS BY THEIR PREFERED PRONOUNS AND NAME #IM THE ONE GOING TO MEETINGS TWICE A WEEK TO ORGANIZE QUEER EVENTS IN RURAL AMERICA THAT PUT TRANS WOMEN AND DRAG QUEENS FRONT AND CENTER #IM THE ONE RESEARCHING LOCAL CIVIL RIGHTS LAWS ABOUT OUR TOWN DENYING APPROVAL FOR OUR EVENT ON THE BASIS OF CROSSDRESSING #NOT BEINF CHILD FRIENDLY (we are working on it dw we have a team on this ) #IM LACING UP MY DYKE BOOTS EVERY FUCKING DAY AND SHAKING HANDS WITH SISTERS WHO HAVE WATCHED THEIR FRIENDS AND LOVERS DIE- INCLUDING #A SISTER WHO WAS AT FUCKING STONEWALL #I’m not trying to pull the whole ‘I’m gay so I get it ‘ card bc that’s not cool when cis people do that shit #but I’m a fucking public school teacher- I’m allowed to grieve a fucking school shooting FUCK #god why are you fucking quantifying suffering mf you work in a grocery store your life and the lives of others aren’t on the line daily #^^that also isn’t a dig at his work - working in a grocery store is a fine career and he deserves a living wage and dignity #but also… there haven’t been 130 shootings at Whole Foods market in 2023 alone so maybe fucking let me be angry #god #i really hope this shit doesn’t get twisted I just need to vent #if you don’t like this just block me idc I’m not fighting anymore #tw school shooting #tw gun violence #tw gun mention #school shooting

[allow-me-to-speak]

I have so many opinions on gun violence, guys.

I grew up in Texas. I remember in high school hearing rumors about a kid in a nearby town getting shot in the head for trespassing on a farmer’s land on a dare, and everybody shrugged and said “Well, he was on private property.” I grew up with kids who were shooting and hunting in elementary school. I gave a statement to the police after watching a teenager get shot in the leg when I was 10. I grew up in the heart of Pro-Gun America.

This is ridiculous. 

I’ll be honest, I’m mostly writing this as an opportunity for me to vocalize my response to the largest pro-gun / anti-gun-control arguments I’ve seen lately. Because I’ve heard some dumb arguments, and I haven’t always had the opportunity to respond to them.

“They’re trying to take our guns away!”

Have you heard a single argument from people in favor of gun control? Note the word “control”. We’re not trying to bust into your house and grab your guns and leave. We’re not trying to make it impossible for a responsible, law-abiding citizen to have a gun. We’re trying to make a more regulated system in which guns are less likely to fall into the hands of someone who will perform mass violence with it.

“It’s our 2nd Amendment right to bear arms!”

That right specifies to “keep and bear arms”, not “keep and bear arms without regulation or licensing”. The amendment was not written to allow civilians to have free and unrestricted access to military-grade firearms. Not to mention it was written in the 1700s when you could fire maybe a shot a minute, and up to four if you were really good. Weaponry has changed since the amendment was written, doesn’t it make sense to regulate the amendment for the weapons we have today?

And why would you want unrestricted access to military-grade firearms, anyway? What could you possibly use them for?

“Banning guns to prevent school shooters is like banning cars to prevent drunk drivers.”

No? If anything, we should be making the process to acquire guns more like the process to acquire a driver’s license and a car.

To drive a car, I have to go through a long process of education, supervised training for a documented number of hours, and multiple tests. I have to be registered with the state, have my car inspected every year, and my license updated every few years. My driver’s license only allows me to drive a Class C vehicle. To operate a semi or a motorcycle I have to go through an entirely different licensing procedure. I also have to be insured. To get insured, companies must run thorough background checks on my history, calculate my likelihood for damage or injury as a driver, and I must pay the corresponding rates.��

And you have to have a license to operate, let alone purchase, a car.

“The problem is mental health, not guns!”

1) Mental health issues, by themselves, are not the problem. I know many people suffering from various kinds of mental health issues, and none of them would even consider shooting someone. Are you saying that “people with mental health issues are more likely to be mass shooters than people without”, or “people of unsound mind are the only people who would become mass shooters”? If so, then why wouldn’t you support a measure to enforce that only people of sound mind can access guns in the first place?

2) Then maybe you should fucking try to support mental health. Actually put your money where your blame is and support funding for mental health research, for programs to help those suffering from mental illnesses to find the support, therapy, and/or medication they need, etc. Don’t blame the mentally ill and then don’t try to do anything about it.

“I need guns to protect people.”

Let’s break this one down. There are two kinds of locations where this could happen: in the home, and in public.

In the home:

Most people are not wearing their gun on them in their own home. If you are at home and an intruder breaks in, your gun is likely to be in one of two places: easily accessible, such as a bedroom nightstand, or locked in a safe. 

If your gun is easily accessible, it means that it is accessible to not just you. Your children could find and use your gun. Whether they shoot someone on accident, shoot someone else on purpose, or shoot themselves, that death has happened because you left your gun unsupervised and accessible. 

If your gun is in a safe — which is definitely the less dangerous alternative, and which I definitely support — what is the likelihood that you will be able to access your safe and your gun before the intruder is able to find you and take action against you?

In public:

You have just turned one active shooter into two active shooters. Civilians will now be running from two people with guns. You run the risk of shooting a civilian while attempting to take down the shooter. And consider this: neither the civilians nor the police will inherently know which of you is the “good guy” in this situation. They will just see two people with guns. You also run the risk of being fired on by the police, or being attacked by a well-meaning civilian who thinks you are the shooter. There’s also the chance that another civilian with a license to carry sees you with a gun, believes you to be the assailant, and shoots you. You aren’t saving lives, you are escalating the situation.

“These kids are just doing this for attention.”

If you genuinely believe that children who have gone through the traumatic experience of witnessing their classmates and friends die are willing to face the public eye, recount and relive their experience over and over again, and face the sometimes terrifying response to the general public — including death threats — just for attention, then I really don’t know what to say to you.

Have you experienced loss in your life? Have you experienced the death of a loved one? If you have, then you know the last thing you want to do is retell it and relive it over and over and over, in front of people who are mocking you, deriding you, and telling you that your pain isn’t real, or is played up for sympathy, or any host of negative statements. The last thing you want to do is relive your trauma in front of an audience. These kids aren’t playing it up for the attention. They’re facing pain and trauma and deciding that they owe it to others to take the horrifying opportunity presented to them and make sure that nobody else experiences the same trauma they did. They are putting themselves in the spotlight, inviting backlash and national scrutiny, and giving up their ability to grieve privately because they believe that it is their responsibility to protect others the way they weren’t.

If you think that the people who support these kids are doing this for attention, I can’t help you. I can’t teach you empathy. I can’t teach you to care about other people.

“The Democrats are weaponizing the death of children to further their agenda!”

The entire “agenda”, as you say, is “let’s find a way to stop kids from getting shot”. Every time kids die from gun violence, we say “Hey, maybe we should find a way to stop kids from getting shot”. That’s it. That’s the agenda. We don’t want kids to get shot.

“The solution is to arm teachers!”

That is possibly the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

1) You grossly overestimate how many teachers across the country are trained with firearms. Even in Texas.

2) You are asking educators to be willing to shoot their students. And not only that, you’re asking your educators to be able to not miss and hit an innocent student instead.

3) You’re asking students to be okay with knowing that there are always guns in their presence. That they are always at the risk of being shot. That every single day there is a gun in their school that could be used on them. You’re asking kids to be okay with that.

4) If you start keeping guns in the schools, wouldn’t that just make it easier for a student intent on shooting people to access them? Kids aren’t stupid. It’s not inconceivable that a student could get into a classroom safe. Teachers aren’t always in the room to watch over that safe. And if you’re asking teachers to carry firearms on their person, it would be far too easy for a student to physically overpower a teacher, grab their gun, and start shooting.

5) Public schools don’t have enough money to supply their teachers with staplers and pencils, and you think they’re suddenly going to find the budget to give each teacher a glock? Or are you going to demand that the teacher buy their own gun as well? 

6) Paraphrasing a conversation with my mother, a teacher:  “I don’t know how anyone could ask me to shoot a child if they came in with a gun. Even if I could bring myself to shoot a child, even if I managed to shoot the active shooter and not an innocent student, I would have to go the rest of my life staring into the faces of my students and knowing that I shot one of them. How would they ever be able to trust me, knowing that I have shot someone their age? That I have to be okay with doing that again?”

“Guns don’t kill people, people do!”

1) People do kill people. That’s why we’re trying to ensure that the people who are likely to do that can’t access the weapons that allow them to do that.

2) Name one thing that guns do beyond “cause injury or death”. If you say “protect”, remember that they protect by causing injury or death. A car drives someone from Point A to Point B. A knife chops vegetables, opens boxes, breaks zip ties, and serves a whole host of useful and nonviolent purposes.

What does a gun do, beyond injuring or killing? What else do you use a gun for?

#this is.... a lot #but #i have opinions