#but also akira who DOES do cool stuff. akira who is scared and shaking but still shields owen when hes out of commission | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mypunkpansexualtwin · 7 years

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Pathfinder Campaign weeks 3, 4, and 5! Partly as one post to keep one dungeon run in one place, partly because I’m lazy and kept putting it off. Once again we had:

@theta-thoughts The Benevolent GM (^^)

@actnonsense The Kitsune Magus, Yamato Nobuyuki/Akira Kuruso (++)

@babebot The Ratfolk Alchemist, Durn (–)

@tobiyond The Tengu Rogue, Cial (~~)

and me, The Kval Barbarian, Blink Tehnk (==)

(Those little bits in the parentheses are for when I’m typing out quotes, so y’all know who’s talking. 1 for in character, 2 for OOC. Also, to my gaymers, feel free to reblog with the stuff you remember, or you liked better, or stuff I missed. It’s our game and I like seeing your thoughts too. Since these are from my perspective they get a little Blink centric.)

Week 3

^^ “Okay, Tobi wasn’t here last week, anyone wanna give him the summary of everything you found out shopping?” == “*quick and dirty rundown of everything I remembered, which I’m impressed with remembering as much as I did cause dissociation.* Plus the big stuff got added to the story tab in discord Theta left for us. I’m pretty sure I forgot something though.” ~~ ”Alright, cool.” ^^ ”No, yeah, you got it. Wanna go over it again in voice where we can all hear you or are we all good with what they wrote?” == “Uhhhhhh…..” ~~ ”Nah, we good.”

Waking up Act again, this time with the ps messenger app, feeling a little bad about it cause I’m well versed in the ways of the fucked up sleep schedule.

^^ ”Alright, so Lady Origena has summoned you four to talk about the kobold clan that’s becoming a threat to the city.” == “THAT’S what I forgot. Tobi, the kobolds are restless.” ~~ ”Thanks, Momo.”

Theta giving us the rundown on the whole situation as the NPC, asking us if we have any questions, and getting a solid 10 seconds of “Uuhhhhhhhhhhh.”

Getting to the quarry where the kobolds made their home and immediately getting into a fight. Akira/Yamato using magic match #1 to set a kobold on fire, and watching them jump off the cliff and into the lake 30 feet down.

= “Oh god durn it.” (After Durn walked out into the open, prompting that fight.) ~~ “Goddammit Momo.” == “I’m hilarious.”

Theta showing off the benefits of his newly acquired roll20 premium account and all the neato lighting effects that came with it.

++ “Okay, I cast color spray on these guys.” ^^ “Blink is standing right there.” ++ “What? He’s tiny, he should be able to duck under it. I’m casting.” ^^ “Momo, roll a will save…. Okay, you took the blast, but shake the effects off easily.” == “Oh good.”

Cial also getting a nat 20 on seeing through the “No I’m not a kitsune, we’re two different people” thing that Act has going for Yamato/Akira, but all of us agreeing to go with it anyway.

^^ “Guys, don’t split the party.”

Immediately splitting the party when Akira/Yamato takes off after a kobold that bolted but the rest of us stay to loot the ones we beat, then follow a different tunnel.

Nothing especially eventful for most of the route that Blink, Durn, and Cial took except avoiding a small pitfall trap.

Yamato/Akira’s route, on the other hand, had an ambush of like a dozen kobolds.

Switching between us and Act doing our things like some kind of action comedy sequence as we’re talking to a newly found NPC, Nighttail.

^ “Help me kill the Chief and let me take over, the rest of these guys will fall in line. You don’t need to kill everyone.” *Hard cut to Akira/Yamato literally setting fire to a group of kobolds with magic match #2.* ^ “I can get you around the traps in this area with almost no trouble.” *Cue failed stealth check as he walks into the line of fire for yet another group of kobolds* And so on and so forth.

Getting her out of the trash heap, giving her stuff back, then helping her get her pet velociraptor thing, Hack, back.

^^ “Roll knowledge nature.” *two nat 1s from Blink and Durn.* - “The fuck is a lizard?” = “Well, I think it has two legs.”

Everyone taking a moment to pet Hack.

^^ “Roll perception guys.” ~~ “Uh oh.” ^^ “You all notice you haven’t seen Akira in a while.” ++ “You don’t say.” = “Shit, we lost Fluffy.”

Hearing Act’s big fight down the tunnel fork we didn’t take before, which was a much shorter, easier trip than he had.

^ “Wait, your friend is in there? That’s the room we use to trick stupid adventurers into walking into a crossfire. It’s a complete dead end.”

The group snickering while we help wrap up the fight because the npc (and by extension, Theta) basically just called Akira/Yamato an idiot.

The repeated interaction: - “I’m gonna throw a bomb!” + “Try not to throw it at me again.” - “That was one time! I panicked! I got shot!” + “Yeah, you don’t see me with the friendly fire.” = “No, because you tried to blind me with it.” + “Listen, that is not the same.” - “Maybe I’m still dazzled by color spray, but I don’t actually see much difference.”

Seriously, some variation of that argument was had at least 3 times each session between David, Act, and me.

^ “I’m sure you’re here to free the slaves my clan has taken as well.” Yes, we are absolutely here to do that. Definitely the main reason why we came.

Getting into a fight with the kobolds keeping the human slaves penned up and killing them all. (The kobolds, not the hostages, although we did have a brief scare with a missed shot.) Blink being deeply bothered by killing the one about to surrender because that’s what happens when you’re Good.

Durn and Akira/Yamato demolishing a group of rats that came up behind us as we were getting ready to lead the people back to town. Neither Cial or Blink even had a chance to react before they were all dead.

Week 4

Going deeper into the cave system and literally dropping in on a kobold while he’s fishing. Blink charging in and hitting him in the kneecap so hard he passes out.

Cial touching things with his little crow feet. Standing on dead bodies and squishing his toes, dipping his feet into the water in the caves, at one point using his foot to save a teammate from falling into a pit, that sort of thing.

Foiling an ambush that would have dropped us into water traps with snapping turtles. Accidentally knocking one of the dead kobolds into the water and finding out that they were most definitely carnivorous snapping turtles.

Theta talking to himself to make NPCs interact. (That one is pretty much a given in every campaign.)

= “I won’t argue with y’all about killing these guys since they were grabbing slaves, but since they’ll fall in line when we get Nighttail here put in charge, I’m sticking with nonlethal until we get to Chief Dicksplat.” ^ “Hah! Yes, Chief Dicksplat!”

Blink is Tiny and can therefore occupy the same space as other creatures and it is in fact the only way he can land a melee attack. However, when using a sling, it is not recommended. For example, he might miss and accidentally almost break Durn’s kneecap. That is not hypothetical. He felt terrible.

- “It’s okay, it’ll heal. (–) And I’d be a real jerk if I kept bringing it up.” ++ “Listen.”

The party briefly splitting up again to check the room, thankfully not going very far this time.

Cial apparently being Blink’s lucky charm when it comes to finding sweet sweet loot. Or vice versa. Either way, they found the armory.

~ “The rest of you guys can take what you like, but I’m keeping the masterwork longsword and selling it.” = “I could use it, but that’s cool. Dibs on the sling bullets though. All 120 of them. Plus a backup sling cause there’s 4.”

Cial dejectedly passing the sword off to Blink cause he can use it and it’s also better than his mace, plus Cold Iron is good against demons. Blink has a thing about demons.

Returning to Yamato/Akira and Durn to find an ancient kobold on his deathbed with long-term storyline info.

Theta playing the audio for said info, someone’s mic picking it up on discord, and creating an echo which made the foreboding exposition about 10000% more fuckin foreboding. Couldn’t have planned that shit. Unfortunately it made him basically impossible to understand, but Theta kindly transcribed it into the chat too.

Durn checking a closed but unlocked room ahead of us while stealthed and finding a dead-end room full of gigantic dire rats. Immediately needing them as pets.

+ “Does he see these rats at like… puppies or something?” = “Probably more like how humans see monkeys.” + “… How the hell do humans see monkeys? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a monkey. Pretty sure any monkey back home would have been made lunch immediately.” = “Well I’ve gotten compared to little ones with mixed reactions. My guess is they usually think they’re cute judging by the fact they called me "freaky bald blue monkey thing.” + “That… doesn’t seem like a sign of affection. But I can see your point, sorta.” = “Well y'know, if they had to specify "freaky thing” they are not usually… blue and bald. With horns. And huge teeth. My impression is they’re supposed to be cute and funny. And before you get smart with me, I know that I’m very much not cute or funny.“ + "Did… did anyone else here an explosion?” (Durn was using some of his alchemy bombs.)

Half an hour later, Durn walking out with one drugged, slightly dazed, but loyal dire rat, now named Pickles. (Blink’s suggestion, made at random.)

Almost immediately walking into another crossfire booby trap.

^ “Did he just hit me with one of our bullets?”

~ “Lemme just straddle Blink here so I can line up my shot.” == “Kinky. Or it would be, if there was anything to straddle.”

Having the party drag me along by my tail after that fight so I can set up macros for my new sword in roll20 and immediately coming up against a miniboss. Who summoned skeletons. That have high resistance to piercing and slashing damage. Like a sword would do. But are weak against bludgeoning damage. Like a mace would do. Like the mace that I had just unequipped and put in my bag.

^^ “Akira, you recognize the spell she just used as a protect spell that increases her AC against good-aligned characters.” + “She cast protect good, not realizing that half of this party doesn’t give a shit and are just here for the money/adventure.” - “Hah!” ~ “Shit.” = “Oh goddammit.”

“Nighttail” reminding us that since skeletons are undead, healing hurts them. Blink using one of his potions and finally damaging the skeleton he was up against.

^^ “The sorceress uses a spell and restores the hp of her minions.” = “Well that just wasted my damn potion.”

Blink standing there basically just taking a beating so his skeleton doesn’t try and go after someone squishier.

++ “I’m gonna use my last match on her.” ^^ “Alright. Aaand…. She made the save. She pats out the fire easily and gives you a dirty look.” ++ “Well, fuck.”

The fight looking pretty grim until Nighttail and Hack charge in a second time (they missed the first time) and fucking skewer the sorceress beating our asses.

Blink basically immediately falling in love with her right there and being deeply confused and perturbed by this because this is a New Feeling he has no name for. When you spontaneously manifest fully formed and live for over a century and a half, you think you’ve got yourself figured out. New is nerve-wracking.

Cial getting dibs on her cloak of resistance, which Akira points out should have a big hole in it. GM rolls a d1 and says “nah dude, magic.”

^^ “Alright it’s late enough I’m not gonna add up all your experience for this run, but I know you all were really close to leveling so go ahead and start working on that and if you guys want we can roll for your next magic items.”

Blink got a Saddle of Transformation, which turns any creature you put it on into a horse, and the wearer can’t take it off by themself. Yes, it works on humanoids.

Durn got a Preservative Jar. “Anything placed in this jar enters stasis. Cannot hold anything bigger than a toad. Currently holds a toad.”

Akira/Yamato got a Seed of Moon Ice. If dropped in a body of water, will “freeze” an area up to 20’ diameter. If swallowed, you die. If touched, save or die. Leaves awesomely frozen corpses that are not cold to the touch and never thaw.

Can’t remember for the life of me if Cial got one this run or what it was, but last time he got the Wand of Necromantic Cooking, which can enchant a corpse or cut of meat to cut, prepare, marinate, and cook itself. A slaughtered pig will seek out gravy to roll around in. Sausages will jump into the saucepan, and then seek out your plate when cooked. Which sounds awesome, I’d love that in real life.

Week 5

Late start by a few hours, partly due to scheduling, partly because I was the only good little cookie who actually did their dang leveling. (Admittedly I did that mostly because I didn’t wanna forget to do all the stuff I needed to switch over to the Titan Mauler archetype. When you’re Tiny, it pays to have bonuses against enemies bigger than you, because that’s pretty much everything we fight.)

While doing my changes, I double checked my weapon damage types. Apparently there were four slings for a reason. At least we know that for the next time we run into skeleleletons.

== “I already did my character stuff, Theta, do I get a sticker?” ^^ “Yes.” == “Yaaayyyy, stickers!”

Akira/Yamato getting to level 3, meaning he gets his black blade, which is a sentient sword that’ll get more powerful and more full of itself as he levels. This took the form of a cane sword that he found in the base of the statue that the miniboss was praying at before she was so rudely impaled interrupted.

^^ “…And reflects the user’s personality.” == “What? No, I’m a cane not a sword, that’s the other guy. Frankly I’m insulted you’d even insinuate such a thing.” ++ “I… well shit. Yeah.”

Akira growing a second tail. The meaty crunching noise described was gross and disturbing.

~ “Should you be picking up the sword that came out of the statue that the evil sorceress was praying to?” + “Pshh, it’ll be fine. It’s calling to me, I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to have this.” == “In pathfinder game, sword seduce you.”

Finding the Guards of the Future, which initially intrigued us because Durn failed his stealth check and they didn’t immediately attack us.

The literal squealing in delight from me, Tobi, and David when a kobold baby darted out from behind the guards and hugged Durn, making him very homesick for his own siblings. (Admittedly the squealing was mostly me, and I’m counting it all as “in character” especially cause babies are a novelty for Blink.)

The guards warning us about a nasty trap up ahead in return for us leaving the babies alone. Seriously, this trap would have shredded us in a ball of fiery death. Instead, Durn disarmed it and we each got 3 flasks of Alchemist’s Fire.

Promptly using that fire on a handful of guards between us and the dungeon boss and setting like 4 of them on fire. It was nice that we were the ones who got to make the dramatic entrance for once.

Another instance where Theta played dialog from a character and the echo made it super foreboding, but also almost completely unintelligible. Thankfully another transcription was provided.

== “Alright, I’m gonna use my detect evil spell-like, cause I get bonuses against evil characters.” ^^ “Every enemy in this room is Lawful Evil.” == “Yessssss. I’m gonna rage too, these guys are fucked.

Killing the guards that were on fire before the fire actually had a chance to do any damage.

Cial squishing his toes in burnt corpse.

Chief Roaghaz making illusion clones of himself, and me having the idea to ask if my detect evil would still show him or if all of them counted. Didn’t work, but it was a solid plan.

Blink yelling his permission to Durn to throw another flask of Alchemist’s Fire at the swarm of boss. That Blink was standing directly under.

- “You sure?” = “Do it!” ^^ “Roll a reflex save, Momo… You dodge it and take no damage.” = “Fuck yeah!” ^^ “And three of the illusions disappear.”

Blink having the time of his damn life because of the rage, killing evil, and dodging friendly fire entirely unscathed for the second time that day. Less pleased about missing all his attacks of opportunity. (And I didn’t make any jokes about missed opportunities. Which feels like exactly that.)

^^ “Roaghaz’s teeth grow to immense size and he tries to take a bite out of Nighttail. He really seems to have it in for her.” - “He’s a vampire!” ^^ “No, it was all his teeth that grew, not just the two.” – “Oh.”

Continuing to beat on Chief Dicksplat and wondering more than once how many hit points does this asshole have?

Theta talking to himself some more to make Nighttail and Roaghaz argue with each other while they fought.

Act (Akira/Yamato) using up his hero points to finally just fucking kill the bastard.

Finally just fucking killing the bastard.

The Guards of the Future coming in after the fight, relieved to find Chief Dicksplat dead and satisfied to put Nighttail in charge. Babby kobold happy to see Durn again.

= “Well I was gonna butcher this guy here to add to my rations, but there’s guards and a kid here, so I don’t think I’m comfortable with that anymore.” ^^ “The guards usher the child back to her room and Nighttail follows them to go and get things sorted out.” == “Thank you.” ~ “I can use my wand if you want, he’ll butcher himself.” = “Nah, I’m good. This is my favorite part.” (Kval can eat pretty much anything and Evil is especially tasty.)

Getting like two rations’ worth of meat off of him while the others search his stuff, and finding dragon’s scales among his things. Definitely not foreshadowing.

Divvying up the Chief’s stuff between us, but Blink not really paying attention besides the cash because he didn’t really have anything he wanted. Akira/Yamato got a scroll to add to his permanent spellbook though, so that was cool. Basically an upgraded version of color spray, less thrilled about that.

Getting back to Lady Origena to explain the whole situation and ending up kinda babbling over each other. She’s not convinced until Cial steps in and explains in a concise manner that none of the rest of us were able to.

Akira/Yamato going back to talk with Bassy, the gnome woman from week 2 to regale her with the story, and the rest of us stocking up for our next adventure.

And that session wrapped up Chapter 1 of the long-term campaign. We did more for Week 5, but I’m gonna make that the beginning of next week’s post for the sake of keeping the next dungeon together.

#pathfinder gayme #answers to questions nobody asked #the murder #smiles #long post #good god this is the longest one yet #it's looking like cial is gonna be blink's first real friend outside his clan #some of these lifted straight from the text chat #although most of it is actually voice through discord

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pandacommander24a · 7 years

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GREAT BALLS OF HOMOCIDE!

So as far as PPV for WWE go, fuck me if this hasn’t been the best one all year so far. Great card, every match was somethign I wanted to see even if it wasn’t how I wanted to see it. Finally the main events, was so up and down I could not fucking believe it. Honestly 3.5 out of 5 for me

Preshow! Titus Brand verse Heel Neville. Okay, I loved Neville’ssuperhero gimick, so when he came back post injury, post south america tour angry and pissed off withe same move set, I was excited. He came back and murdered everyone. The Cruiser weight division is kind of dying but Neville is amazing. Akira Tozawa I always liked even if I don’t know a lot about and putting Titus in the mix was great even if he was a glorified cheerleader... It was a good start.

Seth Rollins vs. Bray Wyatt! The match were no one is sure why they are fighting. Seth gave a great promo interview and Wyatt did was he usually does, mumbles, rambles and says a bunch of stuff that is suppose to scare you but honestly just left me a little bored, his gimmick isn’t booked as well as his gimmick was through out. I was surprised though Wyatt winning, dirty, and winning at all. It was good.

Enzo Amore vs. Big Cass! Also known Goliath stomps a mud pit in David. Enzo is the betrayed face, even though he doesn’t ever shut up and all I want is Enzo to be punched in the face. So far the face is the least good guy. I know I should hate Cass but honestly Cass is doing the gods work for me. It was a squash match so...

Sheamus and Cesaro (TTC) vs. The Hardy Boyz. Matt wants to do the broken stuff so bad, like everything he is doing is a man. This match was 30 minutes, ignore the first 15 minutes. Then the last ten OMG wow. I am relatively new Wrestling fan so the Hardys mean little to me but Cesaro is my boy, and he was MVP, diving in to save and false tag finish.

Alexa Bliss (WC) vs. Sasha Banks. Could have been the main event but they have vaginas... A great match boneless, Banks and Bliss when all out, which is the Women’s Division on PPV, great match. I kept expect Nia Jax to come out and wreck Sasha so Jax could have her title match against Bliss. Instead after a couple of Heelish Dickish moves Bliss just walks out and lets Banks win by count out but retains, Banks then throws Bliss around before jumping on her off the aunnocer’s table with double knees. After the whole Hot potato belt last year seeing the belt stay on a champion and Banks be denied is kind of refreshing plus it seems like she at least knows what they are doing with the division and is cool with it. Still its kind of sad Bailey is kind of lost in the shuffle.

The Miz (ICC) vs. Dean Ambrose - So like the fuck is the IC belt doing? The Miztourage is cool but why does Miz need it. Ambrose kind of got the short straw in the Shield Trio power grab. Dean could be great and like main event, but he’s kind of coasting. The match was okay. Miz one with help from all his friends. I don’t understand why Bo Dallas was dressed as a biker... then again I don’t understand Miztourage... It works I guess...

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman... AN AMBULANCE MATCH! Like I like Roman Reigns, and Strowman is amazing to watch when given the right opponent. Say what ever you want about Reigns but he always gives another level at the PPVs. This match started big and just got bigger. By the time they got to the Ambulance it was clear that they were out for blood, like all the blood. A back board is used to beat up Reigns. Strowman goes through the LED screen. And... And Strowman won. Whoa, unbelievable.

Like Reigns goes for the Spear and Strowman just locks him in the ambulance. Then Reigns comes out and comes spear Strowman throws him in the Ambulance, AND THEN TRIES TO MURDER HIM BY DRIVING THE AMBULANCE INTO A TRAILER AT FULL SPEED. Roman limbs off.

Heath Slater vs. Curt Hawkins. come out to try and distract us. Slater wins, who cares. STROWMAN MIGHT BE DEAD! Not really it was a great skit. Like it was crazy. Fire Department shows up to get Strowman out of the abulance, who comes out blood, distorted and pissed. So maybe this is setting up something more for Summerslam.

Brock Lesnar (UC) vs Samoa Joe. Main event. Lesnar won, Joe almost won, it was a good match and Lesnar won by the skin of his neck. I wanted Joe to win, so the belt would be back on TV, ugly as it is but there we go. Beast must be Beast.

It’ll be weird to see what shakes out from this PPV

#I made this #READ #Delayed Posting at its finest

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