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#but also like. ejndjfnf im like really really sad. but ill probably just always be sad kinda
dockaspbrak
·
1 year
Text
Its. Frustrating to feel like im always waiting for it all to be over
#like jdbdidnf idk
#idk
#i wish i could just do a thousand push ups or walk for 8 hours and then feel nothing
#but alas. i have to sit with this feeling. which reminds me of all the other times i felt like this
#and its so like. lonely and scary and like
#idk what id need someone to do but. like take charge or smth in a way that
#isnt just asking me questions
#idk. im gonna read fanfiction and hope i feel less like im going to die in the morning
#its like. i feel like ive made my peace with dying and then bam suddenly im terrified of it
#i feel like i want a hug and someone to not try to look me in the eye but like just make space for me next to them while they do something
#like when ur a kid and ur dads watching a movie and gestures fornyou to join him on the couch but he also doesnt talk to you much
#attention when im upset is really irritating to me bc my dad would just stare forward when i cried as a kid so like
#anything other than ignoring it feels like. hncomfortable and like im being rushed or smth
#idk man. i hwve issues
#but also like. ejndjfnf im like really really sad. but ill probably just always be sad kinda
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