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queernuck · 3 years

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The Cleveland Browns made the playoffs. The Islanders made the Eastern Conference Finals.

And that’s enough for me.

So long, so long I have been living like this, pretending that I want to keep on living, that life feels worthwhile, that I don’t want to kill myself. Suicide is for cowards but ive been chickening out for a whole decade, to the point where getting on the subway was itself something that involved convincing myself not to jump in front of it. I remember once while working in the city, I watched and waited as two trains came in and left, trying to get the energy to jump in front of them. I had decided, if I couldn’t do it by the time a second train came and went, I would go to work and save it for another day. I came very close, my legs tense like a linebacker on 4th & Goal, but I didn’t do it. Maybe it would be better if I had, I would have saved not only myself but a lot of other people a lot of pain and suffering. I’ve been dealing with feeling suicidal for a decade, an entire ten years, and made it through. And for what? I lost a retail job at minimum wage, I’ve seen the Giants go from two-time Super Bowl kingslayers to a team that relied on the Eagles for a playoff berth, I got to see Evangelion only for the final Rebuild film to be infinitely delayed, I have a useless non-degree that allows me to eloquently describe how the Democrats and Republicans alike are driving this stolen land to Fascism while sycophants tell me Vote Blue No Matter Who. I’m so tired, I’m not even the person people think me to be, since if I were, I wouldn’t be in this mess.

My paychecks, as hard-earned as they were, never seemed to be mine in any real sense, and it made me so frustrated that something in me broke at the beginning of this year. I made some mistakes, some very stupid ones, and got myself fired. I took money from and distorted the inventory of my store to get what amounted to pocket money, less than two paychecks. I was tempted because I feel so powerless, so much like nothing I could ever say or do matters, and so I decided to lash out against a place that mattered to me, against people I cared about deeply. Chain stores, corporations, all of those things are not really high on my list of things to care about. Barnes & Noble pushed out local booksellers years ago, an irony not lost on me whenever our own competition with Amazon was made apparent. We were reaping what we had sown. But what always interested on top of this irony was how symbolic these things could be to people, how much we figured into so may memories for so many. The Manga Aisle at Barnes & Noble is a staple of 2006 scene culture, a way that kids without the pocket money to afford the newest volume of Bleach it Naruto could keep up before scams became widely available. How the store was a place where people studying for standardized tests could use the test prep guides to try and get ready for the eugenic ritual of the standardized test. And just how much a chain bookstore became a substitute, socially, for the now-absent local bookstore. We bear the guilt for that, but at the same time we were still selling books, giving people a place to get coffee and sit and read and talk, in ways that libraries may not be able to. We certainly can never replace a library, given just what a library does for people. But we did do a lot of good all the same. Before it closed, some of my fondest memories came when I was the exact sort of annoying teenage customer I grew to hate, hanging out at the Columbus Circle Borders. Working at Barnes & Noble was tiring, dehumanizing, difficult, made me feel like I would never measure up to the authors we sold, the people books were written about, that I was a failure. And I am, as my death shows. But it also made me a part of something I was proud of. And that Above & Beyond pin I earned is in my jacket still, a reminder of something.

That something was shown in so many of the coworkers I had, who were incredible in so many ways. I feel awful for what I did, I genuinely do, because of how it may have hurt people who thought so kindly of me, people who deserve so much good. I wish I had the ability to address each of them individually but this decision was hastily made, and i have a feeling it will show in the things I miss in this note. Audra, your help in finding me a way to use the company policies to my advantage as a worker was something that gave me faith even after having seen the despicable firings and cuts the company went through. Linda, I can’t quite square the circle here given my actions, but I want to say your disappointment broke my heart and that while I will not be the one who shows it, your reassurance that everyone makes mistakes was welcome.

To my (former) fellow booksellers at Store 2216, all of my love and my sincerest apologies. You all have so much good in you, your willingness to listen to my ADHD-fueled rants and to discuss so many things with an incredible frankness was always impressive, in addition to part of what I loved about all of you. I want you all to be happy, and the kinship I felt with you was a vital part of what kept me going. It was tough, as you all know. But at times, it almost felt worth it.

The same is true of my CTY friends: it was a weird, magical place that frankly, a lot of us idealized for far too long and which sk many of us eventually outgrew without being able to let go of. And that was tough, that was something we had a great deal of difficulty understanding, that what helped us once was not always going to be helping us, was not always what we needed. But in eventually finding that, we found solace, we realized how life as a whole functions and just what it is that we can take from places like it.

To my other family, my Cleo family, I know I haven’t been terribly active lately, but I can never, ever thank you enough for the belonging you gave me. I have never felt anywhere as welcoming as Cleo. As warm as Cleo (even as we struggled to pay for the oil bill) was. As kind and understanding. As tolerant. As questioning and inquisitive into what that tolerance meant to us. I am thankful, eternally, for what you all did for me. The incredible experiences I had as a Cleo make me proud of what the organization can represent, and one of my dying wishes is that the organization continues to reach out to marginalized communities on Trinity’s campus. There is much work to be done in making sure abusers cannot hide in our family, but I trust you all to do that work. Tucker Carlson is a Trinity grad and we must embody the opposite of what he stands for, no matter how difficult it may be. I could go on about how this means opposing liberals and Liberalism/Neo—Liberalism due to the truth of tolerance resulting in a Popper-esque Paradox of Tolerance that implies Popper is a worthwhile philosopher, but that’s another issue.

To my friends on that Blue Hellsite, tumblr, you made a continual presence worth it, even with all of the bullshit this place brings. It’s the reason I read so much Foucault, Derrida, Deleuze & Guattari, read Žižek against himself, and so on and so on, and the value of that to me can never be overstated. I learned so much from the ways in which I learned to analyze the world, and that in turn became a huge inspiration for why I should try to do what I could to make the world closer to a place of revolution, one where we could perhaps eke out a living for one another. I loved how much I could be an unrepentant nerd and still love hockey on there, and while the

NHL fans on tumblr are incredibly annoying,

I can deal with that compared to the racism of most hockey fans.

Mom, Dad? I just couldn’t live with you any longer. I’m so sorry.

Grandma, I love you.

And the things I leave behind? Donate what can be donated. Hats, please auction, or at least offer to other HatHeads at a reasonable price. I had some nice ones. As for assorted albums, clothing, and other things, sell them and donate to a Harm Reduction organization, or organizations that advocate for PWUD in a radical fashion. WE DESERVE AUTONOMY!

I am a victim of the War on Drugs. Sobriety was always hellish to me, and I could never take it. I want people to be able to live how they want, to see sobriety and being on drugs as equally valuable states, to see the two as no different from one another.

Abolish all gun laws

End the War on Terror

Decriminalize and legalize all drugs, sobriety is what killed me.

I love all of you.

LET’S GO ISLANDERS!

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moczothe1st · 6 years

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Let’s Play Fire Emblem IV: Genealogy of the Holy War, Part 10: Yarrrrrrrr!

Part 9

Welcome back to FEIV! I was originally not planning to update this week, since my appendix ruptured last weekend and that’s actually pretty incredibly awful to experience. I figured I earned a week off. However, I did not consider one thing: when you’re basically required to keep yourself in bed for 90% of the day, you have a lot of time to kill. After the first four or so days of pain and eating very little, I started playing Genealogy because frankly why not. I did have to wait until I got off the IV, mind you, because industrial painkillers and strategy do not mix. Not unless you want to get all your units beaten to death by pirates.

Speaking of.

I feel like I should just point out that last week they were worried about me coming up north to attack them, and yet they willingly start a fight here, even opening up a bridge for me to reach them.

Given that our army has, at this point, defeated two entire countries, I think we can handle a bunch of pissed-off sailors, thanks. Though the first members of the group actually take their shots by going northwest after Bridget.

This exact same battle happens three more times. Bridget is awesome.

The rest of the pirates do go South, but Dew is holding the bridge and they literally can’t hit him. They’re axe men and his dodging is amazing. So they don’t even try, just walk to him and stop.

Sometimes smart AI is really annoying. When our phase starts up, some familiar faces come with it.

Taillte: Just look around! There’ll be pirates all over us if we don’t get moving!

Claude: Be at peace, Taillte. This was quite the fruitful journey! Lord Bragi has answered my prayers and revealed to me the truth. It is precisely as I had thought. Not to mention, I even found House Edda’s long-lost sacred heirloom within the tower: the staff of Valkyria.

Taillte: What, that grubby little cane?

Claude: … Taillte, please. Try to mind your manners. This is a legendary magical staff with the power to restore life to the deceased. It is usable by only the direct descendants of Saint Bragi. That is to say, me alone.

Taillte: Huh. So what you’re saying is, with this rod you could bring my sweet old grandma back to life?

Claude: Alas, most likely not. Valkyria is limited in many particular ways, and so cannot be used on just any lost soul. You see, all mankind is born bearing a life force called quintessence, which-

Taillte: Yaaaaawn… er, what’s that? You lost me. Why are you still talking about this anyway? We’ve gotta get outta here!

Well. This will be interesting, at least. Now, before we show off our new characters, there is a conversation to be held. Ethlyn, you haven’t made me angry in awhile: take it away!

Ethlyn: Here. Take this.

Quan: A spear? …. What?! I-isn’t this Gae Bolg?! Why do you-

(Yes, Ethlyn. Why do you.)

Ethlyn: Your lord father entrusted it to me, Quan. He thought it prudent for you to have it at hand in case our battles grew too fierce.

Quan: Even just holding it, I’ve never felt so strong! Why did you wait until now, though?

(YES, ETHLYN. WHY DID YOU?)

Ethlyn: With the spear, your lord father also passed onto me its tale… I’m so sorry…

Quan: … Ah. Gae Bolg bears the baggage of a truly sad legend. But that is all it is: a legend.

Ethlyn: But-

Quan: Ethlyn, trust me. Triumph is within our grasp this day. I’ll not fall victim to an old myth. I’ll not let it stop me from returning home. Our dear little Altena still awaits us, and I’ll not allow some fairy tale to disappoint her.

Ethlyn: Yes… Quan, no matter what happens… we’ll never lose each other. Right?

Quan: Ah, you’re concerned about Deirdre, aren’t you? There’s nothing to worry about. It won’t be long until we find her.

Ethlyn: Yes…. I want to believe she’ll be okay, too. I wish I could. But…

Quan: Ethlyn? Come now, dry your tears. Do you truly feel so bad about this?

(… Okay, I’m still angry at Ethlyn over her withholding the Omni-Spear from me the whole game, but she kind of has a point here. Her sister-in-law has vanished. It would be kind of weird if she wasn’t worried, Quan.)

Ethlyn: Yes… knowing th-that Sigurd and Deirdre may never meet again… they love each other so much… why, Quan? Why did this happen to them?!

Quan: Ethlyn…

Deep breath

Okay, let’s look at our new stuff. Simplest first.

Quan now has the Gae Bolg, his Holy Weapon, like Eldigan’s Mystletain and Claude’s above-mentioned Valkyria. It gives him +10 boosts to Strength, Skill, and Defense while holding it; he was already a nigh-unbreakable juggernaut, so take that ‘nigh’ off and you get the idea. It also does ten more points of damage per shot than the Silver Lance even without the strength boost, while weighing only slightly more.

So. You know.

THANKS FOR KEEPING THAT IN YOUR POCKET THIS WHOLE TIME, ETHLYN. YOU BITCH.

Now, the new characters.

Claude of Edda is basically Aideen: Part 2. Same class, similar growths; his Major Bragi Blood (+20% HP growth, +20% Magic Growth, +20% Luck growth, +40% Resistance growth) push his in a better direction for their class, but she’s leveled up so great she’s basically his equal anyway, and he has fewer levels left than her to take advantage of them. He’s also promoted, so he can use offensive magic in addition to staves… but he didn’t bring any, so that’s not much of a comfort.

And his gear at the moment is just plain not great for the situation, i.e. alone with a teenager fighting pirates. The Fortify Staff is the best healing staff in the game, giving a huge amount of health back to not a specific target, but to everyvunit within 10 spaces of Claude. Amazing… but it only has ten charges. The Valkyria staff, meanwhile, is basically a one-use get out of jail free card if someone dies: Claude can use it in the main castle to revive them, at which point it will break and require a stupid amount of money to repair for one more use. So it’s nice to have as a fallback, but if you rely on it you’re going to end up bankrupting yourself in short order.

Taillte is… a unique character. On paper, she’s quite good; her growths are solid, bolstered by Minor Tordo holy blood (+20% HP, +30% skill). She can only use Thunder magic, but that’s okay, because it’s the second-best kind of magic and she can use it up to A-rank, and even comes with the A-rank Thoron tome, meaning she joins us with the equivalent of a Silver weapon in her chosen weaponry class. And she also has a very nice personal skill, Wrath, which turns all her attacks into guaranteed criticals if her health is below half, basically taking her already ‘glass cannon’ status and allowing her to upgrade to a much bigger cannon if she’s willing to take some extra glass on board. And her stats are quite good for her level!

Which is to say, for level 3. When the rest of the army is in their late teens at the lowest.

So, we clearly need to get someone over there to help those two, because Taillte is most definitely not going to be able to hold off all the pirates in her area alone, and Claude can only heal her ten times. But whooooo is nearby to go saaaaaave them?

sniff

Oh, Bridget you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind, Hey Bridget. She’s also a little underleveled, being only 12, but she’s a pre-promote like Sigurd so if anything her stats are a little higher than most of the army; in particular, she actually has the third highest Strength stat of anyone in the army, after Quan and Lex. And a low level actually gives her more levels to gain bolstered by her Major Ullur Blood (+40% HP, +60% luck). She’s gonna be surprisingly durable for an archer class, with luck making her dodgy and plenty of hit points, on top of Strength, Speed, and Skill which are already enough to carry her the whole game. The only skill she has is Pursuit, but if you’ve been paying attention that’s the most important one for an offensive unit to have anyway, soooooo.

Let’s do this shit.

Bridget immediately begins moving west along the peninsula towards Taillte and Claude, who move toward the pirates around them to start working on things. Neither is, unfortunately, close enough to any enemies to make an attack… well, Bridget is, but she can’t run and shoot at the same time, and even the best Archer of all time can’t fight at melee. If she gets surrounded, even she’ll be in trouble. Everyone else, in turn, begins to move towards the units holding the bridge, while they themselves defend with all they’ve got.

Yeah, no, the bridge is going to fall. Horribly. The Orgahil pirates are so pitiful in comparison to Agustria that we might as well ignore them and go knit. The rest of the level is going to be entirely about Taillte and Claude’s survival. End turn!

Continues knitting

And over with Claude, Taillte takes a single hit, but survives. This leaves her in a somewhat dangerous situation because she’s fragile and will die at any slight brush now, but Wrath is now enabled and she one-shots her attacker in reply.

The rest of the pirates in her area are out at sea and will be coming ashore slowly, letting her engage them one at a time on her own terms, so. Picture that sequence of the Death Star getting ready to fire, and you have an idea what I’m about to do with Taillte. Bridget continues to move toward them as well, the edge of her movement range leaving an enemy in her sights.

Get used to screens like this.

For the bridge team, I actually don’t do any fighting this turn, because Dew is a perfect blocker, and he isn’t going to take a shot at anyone. Rather: Aideen is broke and his money is maxed, so he can’t rob any of these guys! I have her move forward to stand next to him reassuringly, and he in turn gives her 49,000 gold. I wish I had more friends like Dew.

Much better. Killing off all these idiots would have cost me so much money if I hadn’t done that. Dew will likely be right back to max money by the end of the map. The pirates, in addition, can move very slowly on water squares and some of them do go around Dew to reach other units.

Their next of kin will be reminded of the dangers of swimming. On our turn, it’s mostly movement. Quan and Ethlyn move toward our home castle, everyone else moves toward these dorks again. The dorks in question, mind you, are doing very well. I actually have Lewyn run back towards a castle because I don’t need him to hold these dorks, and his Elwind is about to break from overkilling. Instead, Jamke moves up to take a shot in his place.

For the pirates, this is kind of like saying ‘I send the killer bear home because his stomach is full, and replace him with the killer lion.’ Dew moves forward, continues robbing shit, and levels.

You know, he needs defense so badly I will take this. I have Ayra move up to back him up and soften the newly poor pirate up with her weaker Bolt Sword…

… and of course she uses Astra and kills it. I would have really liked Dew to get more kills, Ayra, he’s about to promote. Please try to be caring of me. Taillte also reaches her first victim.

“You may fire when ready, Commander.” End turn!

Dew… took a hit. From these idiots. How… why! You little jackass, your ability to make me money and your ability to dodge are your only good points right now! You better proc Sol next turn and get some of that health back, quicksmart, or I will be furious. More furious.

I also almost lose Taillte because I didn’t realize she was in range of the enemy, but unlike SOME PEOPLE she pulls off the dodge and destroys her enemy with extreme prejudice, gaining her first level. Not great, but she at least got Speed and since she certainly can’t take a hit, making her better at avoiding them is helpful.

Our turn takes over and Bridget continues to run towards the Dynamic Duo, her rage steadily building. Dew and Ayra team up to take out the first pirate in line…

And since I’m bored, I have Holyn run into this new empty space in the line and smack the guy behind it.

sigh

Holyn, I’m taking a fucking risk by putting you on the front lines. You could at least try. But on the bright side, this does open another new spot in the line for Jamke to move up and take a shot at the enemy commander.

Okay. Teach. Jamke, you ready to learn?

Yup, Jamke has totally learned fear.

Jamke also gets his personal little trinket, the Leg Ring, improving how far he can move each turn by 3 spaces. Jamke doesn’t get a horse, so he’s not a terrible choice for this, but I’m not totally sure if he’ll be keeping it or not. It’s definitely in high demand by units all over.

Erin, off on her own doing her own thing, stops at another of the villages.

Stranger with Candy: Don’t be shy. Drink up! Well, how about it? Feel the might swellin’ in yer muscles! Oughta make yer work out there so much easier.

Erin gains +3 to her Strength, another boost she sorely needed. You’re also probably realizing why I ignored most of the villages on the map; there are a lot of little gifts to be gotten on this one, and I wanted them to go to specific people. There’s still one left meant for Claude, in fact.

On the enemy phase, Jamke provides an assisted suicide and reminds me that all levels these people gain will be either flawless or the worst.

sigh No other combat happens other than some pirates missing Holyn with hand axes, and our turn begins. First, to the home base… Ethlyn, care to not disappoint me for once?

The first magic she’s gained all game! I also send Quan right into the top tier at the Arena, using his new toy. Let’s see how it goes.

Holy Weapons are the best.

Back up at the real war, I continue to break the pirates a little.

Nothing super impressive, but at least the bridge is now mine, so that battle is over and this team can start moving to flank the jerks chasing Bridget. Bridget herself has also reached Claude and Taillte; the general idea now is that she will be their tank, dodging 90% of all melee attacks and slaughtering the occasional archer while Taillte stands behind her doing her best death ray impersonation. End turn!

… I think the pirates are losing hope, you guys, this one definitely had targets to go after who wouldn’t have killed him as terribly as Holyn. Come on, pirates don’t give up! You can’t go out like Agustria!

Our turn begins, and the team that took Silvail begins to reach the pirate fight, turning it from a one-sided fight to a one-sided fight. Lachesis also gains a healing level.

I… really should have given her that Paragon band. At least Dew won’t need it much longer.

He gained a level from this battle, but I missed the stats. +1HP, +1STR, +1SPD, solid enough I won’t have to scream at his face. Aideen also levels from healing him.

… Kind of bad, but she’s gotten so many great levels on this map I don’t really care. End Turn!

… Nothing happens! A sword guy misses Bridget and an axe guy misses Beowulf.

On our turn, Lachesis gets home, and I send her into the Arena with her new Earth Sword to see if it helps her a little.

cue beating

Nope! But the fun part is that now there’s nothing to stop me from just having Ethlyn heal her and trying again next turn, so I’ll let you know if RNG turns her favor at any point.

Over to the west, my two little nukes begin their blasting away at the crowd pressing against Bridget.

Those two sword guys are the most dangerous; they’re not very strong, but are accurate enough to regularly hit Bridget. Most turns Bridget won’t actually be attacking, but I want those two dead ASAP. End turn!

WHERE THE FUCK DID HE COME FROM?! DEEP BREATH Well that scared the shit out of me. I had no idea there was a ranged enemy close enough to reach Taillte. If she hadn’t dodged I’d be up a reset. But, on the plus side, fine level! On the next turn, they both take their shots…

… For the second time this update I missed the stat screen. Bridget gained a level. It was +1HP. I would be furious if she wasn’t already basically endgame quality without any stat gains at all. Taillte is doing okay, though! And then Claude heals ‘em up.

There we go! And better yet, he instantly gains 85 experience from this; Fortify is a pretty rockin’ staff. I start moving the others toward them again; Erin is now close enough to help out next turn, and the others should arriving to reinforce soon.

Though they don’t need it, really, Taillte is dodging everything and its mom. Our turn begins again, and… slaughter?

Yup, slaughter. The enemy phase is basically just Taillte and Bridget continuing their brutal ascent to dominance.

Welp, there goes the enemy’s archer brigade. At this point the rest of the army is basically only heading their direction because I’d like Bridget and Taillte to get some trophy husbands. On our turn, Sigurd and a few others test the defenses of Orgahil itself.

It is not a test they pass well.

The western team continues their just… rampant slaughter, it’s almost humiliating…

You know, barring the horrible level. What is with you this run, Erin?! You started off so perfectly, too! Well, on the plus side, I also realize I completely forgot Ethlyn had Arena levels to challenge too, and she’s a Paladin now. Let’s see how this rolls out.

Ethlyn: Up to seven wins, gained one level: +1 HP

……………… I hate you so much, Ethlyn.

You fucking guys!

……. I want to leave Agustria.

Okay, I’m frustrated so I’m going to take Orgahill now. The boss is nothing special beyond holding the Strength Ring; I’m gonna try to give it to Sigurd, actually, since his Strength stat is actually somewhat on the low end for how high his level is. Luckily he’s a sword dude fighting an axe moron, so it shouldn’t be hard to arrange.

Yeah, this will be over quickly. End turn, and Duvall once again seeks to destroy us with all his skill and power.

See how much he needs that Strength? Duvall should definitely be dead by now. On our turn, it’s… basically… just kind of a pitiful slaughter again, you know the drill.

And Sigurd finishes off Duvall, ending his 27-minute reign as cap’n and gaining himself a sweet +5 to strength.

Welp, might as well end the turn here. Good times. The few remaining pirates all take swings at Bridget and… all hit? How the… no. No. Not engaging. Her defense is good enough it doesn’t matter, and they…

Will not be taking any more swings. One more turn of the same and the enemy army is gone forever, with Erin leveling.

If I had another Pegasus Knight to use she would be so fucking benched right now.

Anyway, there are no more enemies on the map, so from here it’s a matter of just cleaning stuff up. Like this village of ungrateful bitches!

Bitch: Why are you even here? We’ve absolutely nothin’ to do with Agustria or Grannvale! If you’ve really gotta fight, take it somewhere else, you thoughtless sod.

Take a close look at her village in that image. A section is burned, meaning we literally ran in and saved it from being slaughtered by pirates. Next time, we won’t.

More importantly, Aideen finally meets Bridget. Were yooooooooooou paying attention…?

(D’aaaaaaaaaaaaw. Yup, Aideen mentioned her sister Bridget way back in Verdane, and we finally reunited them. Heart: Melted.)

Aideen: Surely you recall me?

Bridget: What? How do you know my name? Hang on… you look just like me! Aideen, huh… it sounds kinda familiar. But where from…?

Aideen: Bridget, listen well. I am your twin sister! We lost you to pirates years ago, when you were just five years old. I’ve searched for you for years. I never lost hope we would meet again!

(D’aaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!)

Bridget: This is all so sudden… no. Weird feelings aren’t enough. I need proof!

Aideen: Proof, you say? Here. Draw this bow.

Bridget: Huh? Okay, a nice bow and all, but what’s it gotta do with anything? Well, I’ll humor you. So I draw it, and… Whoa! Wh-what’s going on?! The hell is this? This… weird feeling boiling within me… are these memories? Ah, my heart is on fire… Aideen? Yes… you’re Aideen... my sister...

Aideen: Oh, thank the gods! You remember! That bow is your birthright, Bridget. It is Yewfelle, the sacred bow of Jungby. Legends tell that the exalted weapons of this land, such as this one, can only be wielded by a single heir per generation. For House Jungby and Yewfelle, that rightful heir is you, Bridget.

Bridget: Oh, Aideen, come here… Let me get a good look at you. How is our father doing? And our brother… Andre, right?

Aideen: I’ve so much to tell you, too… Bridget. My sister.

Well. That was adorable. And Bridget also gets a hold of Yewfelle, which gives her a +10 to Strength and Speed, along with the natural ability Renewal to heal her a small amount per-turn. Not quite as great as Gae Bolg, but frankly Bridget doesn’t need much help to start with so this turns her from unbreakable to super unbreakable. From here it’s mostly last-second healing and warping around, to get Claude to the one village he still needs to get his holy butt to, and to have everyone else start moving the new dudes toward the arena.

Though Aideen does hit 20! Probably won’t promote her this chapter, though, I have no way to get her home quickly. And next, I trigger the secret event by moving Dew over to the sacred tower… no, once again, no hint to do this…

Dew: Mmm… nope, nothin’ over here. Over there, maybe? Aw man! What a boring little dump.

Strange Voice: Who… are you…

Dew: Huh?!

Strange Voice: … State your business…

Dew: Heh, maybe if I pretend I can’t hear it…

Strange Voice: How dare you… defile this sacred ground… BEGONE!

Dew: Kyaaa! S-sorry! Please don’t hurt me! Hah… hah… what just happened?! Hang on… a sword? What’s it doin’ sitting around a place like this? Eh, who cares? Guess I’m getting’ something outta this after all!

Dew gets the Wind Sword, a magic blade like Ayra’s bolt sword and Ethlyn’s light brand, and it will be put to good use over time. Also he’s an awful person. I kind of wish the event had been the ghost eating his soul and joining our army instead.

Over on the other side of the map, Claude grabs the final village:

Cool Old Dude: We can’t thank you enough, but mayhap this magic staff will help. They call it a Restore staff. If yer allies’ve been put t’sleep or silenced, one cast of this staff’ll get ‘em back on their feet.

See, village of northern bitches? This is how you thank the people who stopped your home from burning down.

Now, the last two things. First arena runs:

Bridget: 7 wins, Gained two levels: +2 HP, +1 Strength, +1 Luck, +1 Defense

Finn: Up to 7 wins, did not gain a level.

Erin: Up to 7 wins, gained one level: +1 Speed, +1 Defense

Dew: Up to 4 wins, did not gain a level. I shouldn’t have used him.

Taillte: 7 wins, Gained three levels: +2 HP, +3 Skill, +2 Luck, +1 Resistance

In addition, a few of the new recruits have conversations with Sigurd.

Claude: I’m glad Taillte was close at hand. We may not have survived, if not for her magic. More importantly, Lord Sigurd, my prayers to Saint Bragi were answered.

Sigurd: You have the trust of all this, then?

Claude: That I do. As I thought, Duke Reptor is behind all of this. On his orders, it was Duke Langbalt who killed Prince Kurth. The two then framed your father, Lord Byron, for the crime.

(Noooooooooooooooooooo, ya don’t saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.)

Sigurd: As we thought…

Claude: The pair’s treachery runs deeper still. The murder of Isaach’s King Mananan was also the handiwork of Duke Reptor. He feared a peaceful end to the war would end the sole excuse for the conquest of Isaach, so he had the king assassinated.

Sigurd: Is that so… Reptor’s filthy hands are all over this mess…

Claude: Not entirely. In the shade of his avarice, there’s something else at work. Something unsettling and terrifying. Not even Lord Bragi could scry this evil presence, obscured as it was by its great power.

Sigurd: An evil presence? Could it be that dark priesthood? … Wait! What of my father, Claude?

Claude: Lord Byron yet lives, but he is weak. I fear he is not long for this world…

Sigurd: Father… this can’t be happening…

Claude: I’ll hasten back to the capital. His Majesty needs to hear the truth. Lord Sigurd, for the time being, stay here and restrain yourself from rash action.

Sigurd: Understood. I can’t thank you enough, Father Claude. I beg of you, do everything you can to save my father and clear his name.

Sigurd: The villages told me of a woman who leads the pirates of Orgahil, and of her devotion to aiding the poor and weak. That would be you, correct?

(“Also you’re identical to my childhood next-door-neighbor, who has an identical twin named Bridget, so…”)

Bridget: You must be that Grannvale man… Sigurd, right? Guess this is it. Come on. Just get it over with.

Sigurd: Oh, no, you’re mistaken! I’m certainly not here to kill you. I just want to talk. I’d like you to ally with you. We’d love to add your strength to our own, to help us better fight the pirates. What say you?

Bridget: Wait. You really want me, of all people?

Sigurd: Certainly! You’d be a tremendous asset.

Bridget: You’re a strange little man, Sigurd…

Oh, Bridget, You have no idea. Let’s get the Hell out of Agustria!

Sigurd: Oifey, would you please gather our troops here? Now that this is all over, I’d like to ensure that everyone’s alright.

Oifey: At once, sire.

Langbalt: Seize these vile allies of Byron, accomplices to his murder of Kurth and his bid to take over our kingdom! It is the will of His Majesty! No mercy for enemies of the state!

Reptor: To think, he personally put an end to that miserable prince and nearly killed Byron as well… I’ve never seen such a bold ploy! And with Arvis using His Majesty’s trust, it all worked flawlessly! Convincing the king of anything is hardly a challenge, but to succeed with a tale of this scale takes quite the storyteller… and here we are, with the entirety of House Chalphy framed for the crime! Heh heh… our victory is all but assured. The throne of Grannvale shall be mine, one way or another. I’ll leave no pest who dares interfere with me alive…

(……. I’m going to assume Langbalt is loudly shouting to the army and Reptor is just thinking to himself. Otherwise, I got some questions.)

Sigurd: What in the blazes is this?! I’ve been declared a traitor and a Grannvale legion waits at our doorstep to arrest me?!

Oifey: Sire… and to think, the war here was over at long last, and you were about to go search for Deirdre.

(“YES, OIFEY, THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME”)

Sigurd: Gah… how could His Majesty believe Reptor’s lies? That my father, of all people, would kill Prince Kurth?! If only Father Claude had reached the capitol before they struck… Why?! Why is this happening?! I fought a pointless war! I let Eldigan die! And now this! What have I been fighting for all along?!

(The one and only time it will be a relief to see neutral units.)

Mahyna: Queen Rahna bade my corps and I to come and retrieve you. We invite you and your subordinates to retreat with us to Silesse, until your good name has been cleared in Grannvale.

(Lewyn’s mom! Finally, our habit of collecting lost royalty has paid off!)

Sigurd: … Queen Rahna of Silesse, you say? Why is Silesse willing to give aid to an alleged traitor like me?

Mahyna: Please, sir. Time is of the essence. The Grannvale assault is sure to begin at any moment now. My Pegasus knights will escort you across the sea to safety in Silesse.

And there we go! Grannvale, our ambiguously evil home, has outright turned against us. Reptor and Langbalt are in control, and the king thinks we killed his son. The only option remaining is to flee across the sea and regroup.

… We probably coulda solved the issue by having Lewyn stand near the enemy, but this is more dramatic.

Anyway, see you next week in the shining northern lands of Silesse, where I’m sure nothing will go wrong!

Part 11

#let's play fire emblem #Let's play fire emblem IV #Let's play genealogy of the holy war #fire emblem 4 #Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War #FEIV #LP #my writing

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