#but aziraphale is the oblivious asexual rep i deserve

[greenbergsays]

Imagine with me:

There is Someone. This Someone is completely, entirely, utterly enamored by a certain rumpled, food-loving bookshop owner with a sunshine smile.

This Someone is also not Anthony J. Crowley.

They begin trying to court said bookshop owner. They visit their shop often. They bring gifts. They engage him in conversation about his favorite books. This happens for weeks.

Now imagine that Anathema and Newt are visiting the shop one day, because the four of them don’t know each other that well, but they did stop an apocalypse together, so that begs further introduction, no? They should at least be passing acquaintances, right?

And Anathema and Newt, they have certain Ideas about the relationship between Crowley & Aziraphale. In fact, pretty much everyone who knows them has those ideas about them. This Someone, whoever they are, has yet to see Crowley and Aziraphale together and so they has no notion of a relationship.

At either rate, the two of them are visiting, sitting on a cozy little couch having tea and watch Aziraphale gesticulate wildly as he explains--something to the rather besotted Someone. A box of truffles sits open on the counter near them. The Someone has a book in their hands; the three spectators had watched them pick it at random when they walked in. 

When the Someone takes over the conversation, Aziraphale pops a truffle into his mouth and his blissful expression is all you need to know of their quality.

“Doesn’t that bother you?” Newt asks, because despite his mother’s best efforts, he never did learn any manners.

Crowley, who has been watching Aziraphale from behind his shades with a soft, besotted smile of his own, says distractedly, “Hmm?”

“The flirting,” Anathema says, because if Newt’s going to make an ass out of himself, she’s at least a thoughtful enough girlfriend to help him along. “He wants to know if the fact that someone else is flirting with Aziraphale bothers you, considering the fact that you’re in love with him.”

Crowley actually laughs.

“Have you actually been watching?” He asks. “Take a closer look.”

He nods towards the pair, his smile only widening.

“He doesn’t even know they’re flirting,” Crowley tells them. 

He says it so fondly that Anathema, who is not particularly weak to romance in general, almost sighs dreamily.

“Trust me,” Crowley says, without ever looking away from his angel. “I’ve been trying to catch his attention since Eden and I’m still not entirely sure he gets it.”

(It doesn’t much matter what anyone thinks about it, anyways. Just a moment later, Aziraphale’s whole body goes rigid and he says icily, “Buy it?”

Crowley’s smile takes on a sharper edge and he sits forward, watching as Aziraphale snatches the book out of the Someeon’s hands. He so does love to see his angel like this.

The Someone is gone within seconds, chased out by a rather incensed book lover that is somewhere between pouting fiercely and utterly outraged at the nerve.)

#good omens #ineffable husbands #des's fic ideas #look say what you like #do you what you do #but aziraphale is the oblivious asexual rep i deserve #and you can pry that head canon from my cold dead fingers