#but from outside perspectives dean and bobby and even heaven view it as an addiction and as choices sam's making that he can stop

[angelsdean]

my tags on my prev reblog re: dean's misinterpreted attitude toward monsters just got me thinking abt sam and the bloodfreak stuff in general and like, as we know a lot of the early seasons were framed in sam's pov so a lot of the time it' him who's feeling like a monster and projecting that onto others to confirm his own beliefs abt himself. like when he finds out abt john telling dean to kill him if he goes darkside sam suddenly is in agreement w/ john saying john's right and dean has to do it because dad said so !!! anyways that's just preface to what i want to say which is, sam isn't really a monster. what i mean is, he's not a monster in the inherent sense that he seems to think he is, and that's part of the reason why dean pushes back against the demon blood stuff because he knows sam can be saved and for dean his number one job is to save sam because the alternative is following john's order and that's something he just cannot do. so it makes sense that dean would do whatever it takes even if that's being a little mean or forceful (calling him a monster, echoing john by telling him not to walk out that door to give sam pause, forcing him to detox) because he does not want to kill his brother.

but anyways, sam is not a monster in the way he (and a lot of fans) thinks he's a monster. he was Not born a monster, it's not something that is intrinsically and inherently part of him. and i'd argue there's really nothing special or "chosen one"-esque about him (aside from the lucifer bloodline making him a better candidate for vessel purposes), he was just a regular baby who was dosed with demon blood, which in the text is treated as a drug / addiction. there was nothing special about any of the babies azazel dosed, they were just the children of people he'd made deals with. i think pretty much any baby (possibly even adult) who's fed demon blood from a powerful enough demon (like a Prince of Hell) would develop psychic powers. so it's not something completely out of his control that's turning him into a monster like a virus or a vampire / werewolf bite where he can't stop the progression. it's not happening to him he's making active choices to strengthen those powers and the more he feeds the more he wants it. everything w/ ruby is framed as him knowing he's doing something "wrong", the sneaking around, the lying. and i think dean's response is along the lines of "we need to get you help. we need to stop this because it's something that can be stopped. and if we stop it then i won't have to see you lose yourself or go too far. because if you go too far and start hurting people then i might have to kill you and i can't do that so please just let us save you." and i think that's fair. yes he and bobby maybe go about things the wrong way but i think it's born out of desperation. and also it's not a rejection of "this is who you are and we hate you for being a monster" it's "you're making choices that are leading you down a dangerous path and we're scared we may lose you so we're trying to stop you from going too far down that road."

like the end goal of all the bloodfreak stuff (ruby's end goal) was to free lucifer and freeing lucifer would mean sam becoming his vessel. they obviously don't know all that at the time, but in hindsight it's like, yea we should've curbed that bloodfreak stuff sooner. also heaven was telling dean to stop sam too and that he was going down a dangerous path and that if dean doesn't stop him they will (likely meaning death) so again, of course dean's gonna try to do whatever he can to stop sam even if it's by not great methods. (also heaven was playing him too bc they also wanted lucifer to be freed so that Destiny could come to pass)

#i've been thinking a lot abt the bloodfreak stuff lately #esp whenever i see takes that sam is like inherently different or monstrous #like he's really not ??? he was just a baby who was fed demon blood like many other babies #i read the bloodfreak stuff thru an addition lens moreso than a 'there's something inherently wrong w/ me' lens #which is also why the queercoded sam stuff often just. does not stick for me. like i Can see where ppl are coming from #but when you don't view sam's monstrous-ness as inherent then it's like. well it doesn't make for good parallels to queerness #whereas you take the shifter / dean parallels and it's like !!!! the shifter relating to dean and saying they're alike in many ways #that they were both born different and hated before they had to make themselves different and both just want someone to love them #and the shifter as dean earlier telling sam he's a freak he knows he's a freak and that everyone will always leave him #it's just different the way dean's ''freakness'' is framed as something inherent to him #while sam's is literally literally !! something that was Introduced to him after the fact not something he was born with #i'm sorry and this isn't sam crit it's more. interpretation crit ? #but also i think we can all have different and conflicting interpretations too bc sometimes i'm like yea. queer sam! #(tho often that has nothing to do w/ the monster-coding) #but idk i've just been thinking abt the bloodfreak stuff lately and how other characters reacted to it and how it's framed from sam's pov #vs deans and other characters. like sam seems to think there is something inherently wrong w/ him and so a lot of viewers believe it #but from outside perspectives dean and bobby and even heaven view it as an addiction and as choices sam's making that he can stop #vic.txt #mymeta #long post #sam studies