#but i have this love hate relationship with it everyone knows it its a sinusoid

[coolnonsenseworld]

I wanted to say that outside of semantics and divisions - I am simply happy to find communities that welcome with kindness - that welcome you by a good heart and not the ability to conform. I am happy for the opportunity to be surrounded by people who care. It's a funny world we live in - making the same mistakes over and over, multiplying the same suffering by billions. I don't think I hope for an utopia anymore, I don't think such a thing exists - but you can't call me hopeless either. And that's what matters.

As a side note - this piece is set in DanceAU, which might be better known to Patrons so far, but still it was the best and most fitting option for this occasion..... also there are 12 DanceAU pieces incoming, because I might be making another calendar so. get familiar with these mutts

#klance #voltron legendary defender #klance fanart #priDEMONth #you know there is always so much happening idk what to add in the tags #i made banana bread yesterday and almost burned the kitchen (right after i asked myself how bad can it be?) i am not kidding #and then burned my arm twice trying to avoid a burn which is top ten ways to get them #its okay tho it doesnt hurt anymore #there was also my nameday which I forgot about and had a headache thorough #also when i was drawing i was considering that lance is maybe a bit too tall on this piece #he IS taller but bending like that with keith standing straight? #i mean gay? #idk about that #but i decided not to worry danceau always has heels for that #i also have been so deep in wirting hex if you dont know whats hex dw you shouldnt #but i have this love hate relationship with it everyone knows it its a sinusoid #im on my happy phase with it lately #no one jinx it it better last #all i wanted was bamf rescues and cliche tropes and now im trying to do them justice in 200 thousand words or less idk why #they could have been just fighting demons and cuddling #either way happy pride once again!!

[reckless-optimism-blog]

Some Of Us Are Isomorphic To Each Other, And Other Things I Have No Empirical Evidence For. These are all the things I want to say without actually saying them.

it’s 6:17 am, i find the train to heathrow waiting for me and i demand it to tell me everything it knows about synchronicity. i confess my distrust in physics and its promises of running into people in elevators and alleyways. was i supposed to leave it up to things like space and time to crystallize my connections? or was the sand uncharted for me to draw my fingers through? the shape of it was me looking for you, in pale blue dots on iphone screens and grainy photographs of saturn’s rings, was a projection of my coordinates onto your n-dimensional space.

these things take time, love.

i love meeting new people. i hate meeting new people. it’s all tangential, never sinusoidal. i’m punctuating sentences with question marks and careening through small talk but you’re not picking up the cues, the signs that my heart is already exploding with all the adventures we could have, all the ways in which we could grow together. already dizzied, discordant from the parallel universes, the butterfly effects rippling to the beat of my every choice. this is everyone i would have liked to write about on a spectrum. this is light before it passes through a prism. but maybe the colors were never mutually exclusive. maybe it was tucked into a defensive mechanism i never built. maybe that’s how people got to be good at saying hello and goodbye, forever. everyone is waiting to be stitched together.

i found you in january corners and october openings; we were staring out the same window. i laughed once when a boy told me he could beat me at multiplication tables. 12 times 13 is 156, i said. i’ve always been good at things like math and laughing, i said. grinning wildly because we didn’t know where any of this was going to go and because you didn’t know that i didn’t care as long as i had a shot at feeling something, anything, other than this emptiness on autopilot. i don’t think there’s a word for many of the things i want to feel, so let’s get ahead of ourselves: stolen but the good kind, the way my heart pivots when you go from a minor to c-sharp major, being in the dark on the cusp of something beautiful. “my heart is open, i am ready to absorb the impact of anything.” how that would have scared you; how i never said it.

these things take time, love. these things take backbone.

in berlin you will meet a girl from mexico city named cecilia who will teach you everything you know about the art of seduction. in lisbon you will meet a couple who will show you how to grow old in a grand way, how to hitchhike the roads of every year. in delphi you will pray to athena. in budapest you will confront your best friend, yourself. you are addicted to traveling and the way it fast-forwards, puts you in the vivid middle of things that are just beginning, leaves you feeling brave and awake, sunlit and changed. you will try to forge every relationship this way, try to get them to yield. it will be a mistake. you are looking for color ultraviolet, the cecilias in strangers, in snow-globes, in seattle.

i found myself years later; still sanding away the remnants, still looking for positive coping mechanisms and putting them inside my pocket, but i was finally getting better. and it wasn’t from eating again or self-regulating or finally getting some fucking sleep, no, the day i started getting better was the day i joined a college fraternity and, for the first time in my entire life, i felt like i belonged. the opposite of relapse is not recovery. the opposite of relapse is connection.

if the world is cold, make it your business to build fires.

#writing