#but im also deathly afraid of the possibility that like. what if the dream ive worked so hard for isnt actually for me

[elegyofthemoon]

damn this is so silly bc i was rambling so hard yesterday about how excited i am to finally be on the field DOING things and getting to experience what itd be like in my field of interesr

but now that its coming so close i feel more pukey and anxious orz

#snow speaks #hello im talking about my life dreams blahblahblah #like!!! everything ive worked so hard for is leading up to this !!! #but im also deathly afraid of the possibility that like. what if the dream ive worked so hard for isnt actually for me #and im not talking about mistakes and being a perfectionist thats a different story jdjdjd #i just mean like. what if its only then i realize i dont actually want to go into this and it makes me eek a bit djjddj #crushed dreams are always a sad sort of grief. its the worst kind i think lol #but yeah anyways #my team is talking about fields we each wanna go into so we can switch roles for when we do those specialties #BUT IM SOOO SCARED I JUST DONT WANT TO MAKE A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF #and moreover i just dont like. what if i just go in and realize i dont want to do it #its like walking a tightrope and falling either way. #like would i fall more in love with the work ??? or would i just fall and be crushed entirely ?? who knows #okay enough anxious talk fjdjdjd #vent #oh god im so sorry i didnt even tag this