#but im psychotic and when im off my meds thats whats goin on. thats all i know

[pansyfemme]

dont talk to me until ive had my morning antipsychotics

#missed em two days in a row. not on purpose and i am trying to get better abt it #but man. i do not function without them #being on antipsychotics is weird bc ive been on em since i was twelve and when u say that u take them ppl get all freaked out and its like. #would u rather i was unmedicated bc im gonna be psychotic either way #ppl get so weird when they find out someones psychotic and they couldnt tell #miss my antidepressants . #im fine. as long as i get my next dose i dont even notice #my antipsychotics? you might as well blindfold me bc i cannot keep my vision straight #i get all jittery and loose and floaty and start depersonalizing at the drop of a hat #not a coherant thought in my head. just like the same three words repeating themselves over and over #its like a waking dream. crazy to think that used to be how i lived 24/7. #obviously. if i miss a lot of doses it gets worse and worse until the real bad symptoms kick back in #but like. #missing one dose just makes shit really frustrating. missing more makes me pretty much unable to leave bed #idk how to discribe it. its like being very very dizzy but instead of a phsyical dizzy its a mental dizzy but like. not brain fog and not #distracted just kinda. dizzy and jittery #im professional diagnosed psychotic but man i could not tell you actual terms for any of my symptoms #like. is this psychotic stuff? maybe. idk it could be anything #but im psychotic and when im off my meds thats whats goin on. thats all i know #i will say. the good part is when i have surgery and #have anesthethia it is such a familiar feeling bc thats what being off my meds feels like almost exactly lmao