#but in this case it might be the bpd vs the sociopath thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lasermeup · 7 years

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LONG PSA: Regarding Killing Stalking

So guess who finished reading what’s available of Killing Stalking recently? That’s right, me! And that’s after seeing two sides of the–uh, what we might consider the community I guess. So here are my loooong two cents regarding what seems to be the main issues with the series in context of those reading it and enjoying it aka the newly growing fandom. This assumes you don't already understand how fucked up the story is and you're reading it and responding in an inappropriate way.

1. Please understand this is not a story about a healthy and loving relationship.

I repeat, this is NOT a story about a HEALTHY AND LOVING relationship. This is literally a story that is a study of two individuals, both who have a long list of trauma from their childhood that have shaped them into who they are “today.” Both individuals express several key behaviors and types of personalities that would make any psychologist, sociologist, and/or those who are studying mental behaviors, abnormality, and the relationship of individuals and their society perk up with morbid curiosity. Why? Because they literally are expressing traits that usually are linked to those we would diagnosed or be evaluated as within the spectrum of sociopathy/psychopathy aka antisocial personality disorder.

What IS antisocial personality disorder? Antisocial personality disorder as defined by the DSM-5 is the diagnosis assigned to individuals who habitually violate the rights of others without remorse. Those who are diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder tend to be individuals who showcase a lack of remorse for safety (mental, physical) of others and those who impulsive, liars, and highly manipulative (whether it is subtle or direct). Antisocial personality disorder diagnosed individuals also showcase a lack of guilt as well. Most importantly, they tend to disassociate themselves emotionally and mentally from their choices or acts.

The difference between psychopaths and sociopaths is the “root” of their risk. While both are individuals diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, psychopaths tend to be more based on genetics (so self focus) and sociopaths tend to be more based on environmental factors (so the circles in which the individual interacts with aka school, home, family, etc.). This is NOT to say that psychopaths are not affected/can’t be affected/do not experience trauma relating to their social circles, but the difference between the two tend to stem from the source of their risk.

P.S. High risk vs low risk : those who experience trauma, particularly extreme violence creates a higher risk for antisocial personality disorder for a multitude of reasons. It’s important to TAKE NOTE THAT THOSE WHO ARE CONSIDERED HIGH RISK DO NOT ALWAYS OR ARE GUARANTEED TO DEVELOP ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER. They are simply at higher risk to do so.

P.S.S Antisocial personality disorder/psychopathy/sociopathy does not guarantee violence. Violence is not something that is a “must” or a “plus.” It is there in most cases but it is not the main reason for why someone would be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder.

2. Stockholm syndrome, stalking, and murder is not cute.

Like, I’m not even sure why this should be something to discussed because the truth and reality of it all is that those three words are not linked to anything positive at all. Stockholm syndrome is often seen as a mental adaptation to what is a very terrifying and traumatizing scenario. It is a PSYCHOLOGICAL CONDITION that creates feelings of safety (and yes, at times affection) toward kidnappers or captors from victims and hostages. This, however, is NOT LOVE. This is your mind literally creating what appears to be a safer scenario in which survivability increases. This is not something victims choose to have. This is a condition that appears usually because of trauma. Romanticizing Stockholm syndrome is honestly disrespectful to victims who have gone through it because you are literally pretending it is something that people choose and something that is wanted or desired. No one should be wanting to be placed in a scenario in which you either make yourself love your captor or you go through hell.

Stalking, again, is not cute. It is an act of violence against an individual because it ignores all the rights, desires, and autonomy of said individual. Yes, stalking isn’t always violent. Not all stalkers come to attack their victims but most stalkers know what they are doing is abnormal and outside the category of normative social interaction. Stalking creates intimidation, a false sense of reality for the stalker (because the perspective and view of the world from the stalker is very different from the view of the victim), and often results in acts of violence if that “reality” is changed or altered. ROMANTICIZING STALKING IS SO PROBLEMATIC I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START. This is a thing that is REAL and that affects people and causes FEAR. It isn’t something funny, or loving, or whatever you want to call it. It’s not fluff.

MURDER IS NOT CUTE. MURDER IS NOT CUTE. MURDER ISN’T LOVE. YOU DON’T KILL FOR LOVE AND YOU SURE AS HECK SHOULD NOT BE THINKING BEING KILLED BY SOMEONE YOU LOVED IS THE BEST WAY TO DIE. Murder should NOT be romanticized because please don’t forget that murder takes away someone’s right to live without remorse or care about what they want. I mean, quite honestly, we shouldn’t be romanticizing suicide, double suicide (or lover’s suicides as some know them by) or murder. Period. Romanticizing it is taking away the truth of what it is. Redefining it as an act of romance ultimately adds into issues in which we ultimately condone these acts if they’re “acts of love” (which they are not).

Romanticizing any of the above is pretty fucking shitty in general but to romanticize them within the context of Killing Stalking is even more so.

3. Please take note that Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder are two very similar sounding things but are two very different diagnoses.

Those who are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder experience a series or a pattern of swings and these are often longstanding. Bipolar Disorder diagnosed individuals usually experience what is deemed as “episodes” or “periods” of mania. This means that they can experience depression (suicidal thoughts, lack of energy, loss of interest in hobbies, etc.) or mania (excessive happiness/anger/sadness, higher risk taking, impulsiveness) in episodes or periods. Both BPD and BD are “swing” disorders but BPD is long lasting and BD is alternating (though you can experience both depression and mania at the same time). Romanticizing either of these are no no, by the way. And generalizing these as the same is also a no, no (as treatment differs for a reason and effects are different).

Now let’s get to actual Killing Stalking part related part with the fandom.

1. This is not a healthy story and so you should not read it as if it is a normal, romantic, sweet, healthy story.

Please look at what I wrote above if you honestly need a reminder about why this isn’t a story about healthy love or really, love in general.

2. Stalking, psychopathy/sociopathy, disorders in general should NOT BE ROMANTICIZED or GENERALIZED.

People have gone through many things, many experiences. Many are also at risk for these disorders and/or others. Many people are also living through trauma or abuse. Romanticizing any of it is disrespectful to those individuals and also disrespectful to the scientific and health community who have worked their asses off to get rid of negative connotations and misleading bias toward these disorders and individuals who are diagnosed with these disorders. These are things that affect people, affect society. Treat them with respect. Going kyaa, Stockholm Syndrome!! I want that!! is not the way to go. And quite honestly, that’s seriously immature of you to even have that thought in the first place. And honestly, if you are interested, please consider picking up articles about these disorders and case studies. Educate yourself on these topics because trust me, it gives you a whole new perspective on actions and behaviors.

P.S. If you have a fucked up definition (aka, one NOT IN THE OFFICIAL BOOK OF DEFINING THESE DISORDERS), don’t you put that definition onto people in real life. Just, no.

P.S.S. this is also the same for real life serial killers. Bundy, Zodiac Killer, Killer Clown, Leather Man, none of them are meant to be romanticized. REAL PEOPLE HAVE DIED AS A RESULT OF THEIR ACTIONS. Okay? Okay.

3. Please consider reading this as if it is a very creative, possibly exaggerated and visual mini study of a very intricate but also problematic relationship between two individuals with a lot of extreme history of their own. It’s a story about abuse but if you used a correct perspective (in other words, I’m saying if you read it with the understanding this shit is not representative of anything healthy or good or nice or LOVING), it can be a very good small study for those who are interested in a visual representative of how an individual can affect another individual and how personal traits, factors, and decisions can ultimately “change the game.”

This is by no means to say you should take this story as if it’s a real case study because it’s not. It is, however, a direct and unsubtle visual thriller about a serial killer and a stalker and their history (personally and together). If you can look at it as all the sick shit it is, then that’s all you need. Don’t associate it with love, don’t force love on it, and you should be fine. In all honesty, as a psych major, I do find the story interesting because I just 1. do not see love in this, 2. do not romanticize this in any way, 3. prefer to analyze character development and the author’s depiction of disorders/behaviors. Which leads to—

4. You can enjoy the story for what it is without condoning violence or assault. Finding a story narrative interesting, even if it is violent, does not mean that you condone the violence in it or the actions or the behaviors or anything in it. It just means you find it interesting. This goes for characters as well. Problematic characters can be visually and emotionally interesting for individuals BECAUSE they are problematic. It does not mean that the individual condones that character’s actions. Now, if you think this shit is the bomb and you wanna go kill someone too for the sake of killing, then it has nothing to do with the story and it all has to do with you (and please consider talking to someone regarding your compulsions or desire on a very serious note).

IF THIS STORY MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, YOU ARE WITHIN ALL RIGHTS TO GET IT AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE FROM YOU. Unfollow people, block posts, create a safe space for yourself. This is fine, this is good, this is preventative and healthy. However, if it makes you uncomfortable and disgusted and unhappily, please do not force yourself to go into it, to delve into it, and to essentially trigger yourself with anxiety, fear, and more. This is part of self care and self love – make your choices wisely for your own health even if it means crushing curiosity and getting away from the masses with opinions and arguments.

Tldr; Don’t fucking romanticize or generalize disorders, problematic/violent behaviors (such as stalking and murder), don’t force yourself into triggered episodes so make decisions to create safety for yourself if you can, don’t shit on other people if they like it (honestly, no amount of problematic perspective on problematic behaviors condone spreading hate or violence) or if they don’t like it since a person’s interest in problematic characters or narrative or development does not suddenly make them problematic as well (because again, the relationship is not as simple as “I like thriller stories which means I AM A MURDERER!!!! I CONDONE MURDER!!!!”) , and don’t call it love or healthy. Take it as what it is and enjoy without the bullshit additions: an unapologetically in your face story about violence and abuse and two individuals. Educate yourself on topics of disorders, of behaviors, of trauma and abuse through articles, studies, etc. (not through the series ok because again, we have published journals for a reason) because it’s stories like these that can actually create interest and the desire to learn (which honestly, is always a good thing).

CORRELATION DOES NOT EQUAL CAUSATION. I REPEAT. CORRELATION DOES NOT EQUAL CAUSATION.

Also, JUST BECAUSE THERE’S GAY SEX IN IT AND ONE OF THE CHARACTER LOVES THE OTHER AND THEY’RE BOTH GUYS DOESN’T MEAN THIS IS “TRUE LOVE YAOI” or THE ACTIONS ARE OK. You can be gay and still be a murderer. I mean, srsly, look at John Wayne Gacy. Don’t you go romanticizing murder just because you want to look at it with rainbow eyes. Also, romanticizing murder within the LGBTQIA+ community disrespects and condones the violence in which queer individuals experience due to who they are and their identification and/or expression.

Seriously. Just read it as what it is and be respectful to each other. If it isn’t your thing, that’s okay because it’s not meant to be everyone’s thing. If it isn’t your thing, take the steps needed to make yourself feel safe and good. Don’t let someone tell you that you can’t.

And honestly, there is no problem in calling out those who are being problematic in a way where it affects other people (romanticizing/generalizing disorders or violence for example) but if it’s just someone who likes it because the story is interesting—?? If it is someone else’s thing, don’t pass immediate judgement and start demanding they off themselves because they’re a scourge to society or something. An interest in these types of things do not equate to a future murderer or a murderer in hiding.

#killing stalking #long post #personal rant #honestly i am just more tired over the fact that people are romanticizing this shit rather than just seeing it as it is #cause lbr we don't need any more romanticizing or fetishizing of problematic behaviors when this shit affects us all #also if you young and unsure and coughs uneducated about disorders and such please consider reading up on it rather than go off on what #looks like too good to be true (who wants to love a murderer ok )#btw i personally do think it a good story and i like the development because it's an interesting study for me #but do i think it real? do i think it true love?? do i think it healthy??? nah bro #and quite honestly you shouldn't think so either cause it isn't #but it sure is interesting (and sick for many people because this is so unapologetically dark)#also how is this anything like yuri on ice because i am confused by this idea that's floating around the net #also calling it a true romance is probably disrespectful to the creator too cause i honestly doubt they thought #love is like breaking faces i'm sure everyone can see i mean this to be a true corny love story of the time

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