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#but the last time i did thag i went into such a depressive spiral i nearly died for real for real. anyways
peepo
·
3 years
Text
#i genuinely need to jill myself
#if i adress this with my mom she’ll just guilt trip me if i talk about this to anyone else nothing good will happen they’ll just b burdened
#i keep thinking that maybe i just need to not talk to anyone else. maybe
#but the last time i did thag i went into such a depressive spiral i nearly died for real for real. anyways
#whining
#at least it’s in the tags this time
#genuinely see no way out of this unless i win the lottery or something which maybe i should start playing
#i can’t do anything right or save my money because all of it goes to my mom i can’t not give her money when she asks for it and i just
#wanna die real bad. i don’t even care if she’s left as a mother of none i just hate living here i hate being alive
#and nothing helps even if i spend time with my friends i still come back to this sick house where i’m yelled at and berated and treated lik
#a psych ward patient. i’ve been through that already i don’t need it at home. i hate this so much i wish i was never born and never alive
#i can see why my friend killed himself and i just wanna join him in not having to bear any of tbis ugly ugly self hatred and suffering and
#isolation anymore.
#i hate this. i hate myself. i don’t want to be here.
#please please please i just want to die and be rid of all of these issues. love gender money family psyche mind everything it’s just too
#much!!! yesterday i kept having to wake myself up because my dream felt so real and i didn’t want to believe that i it t was or else i woul
#due in real life or hurt myself or die for real i just. i’m so psychotic and mental and i just want it over with. i hate it here LOL
#whatevrr. goodnight. my phone charged so i can listen and ruin my hearing
#because my walls are so thin i have to blast white noise into my ears to sleep
#everything sucks. everything is horrible. i just wish i were dead
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