#but wait u say. it's sunday. ur not obligated to do anything. tell that to my annoying brain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor, 5 (Branjie) (and background everyone) - Ortega

a/n: HOORAY last of the strictly rewrites!!! thank u sm for ur patience if ur still waiting on chapter 6, i promise i’ll make it soon! lots of lo-ove, by-ee!!

fic summary: Strictly Come Dancing enters its 18th series and its producers, after being goaded by a rival dance show on its inclusivity, commission it to be an all-female cast. Unlike Akeria who’s just here to bone her potential dance partner, dancer Vanessa is ready to act like a professional.

And then TV presenter Brooke Lynn walks into the rehearsal room.

***

“And…one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three-”

“Goddamnit shit cunt bitch fuck piss in my mouth,” Brooke exhales frustratedly all at once, and Vanessa holds back an involuntary chuckle. It would be funny if it didn’t hit so close to home. It’s only twelve o’clock and it’s day three of rehearsals but already Brooke’s entire body language is defeated, like a burst balloon, and Vanessa is worried.

It’s all her fault, really. The scores from Saturday night still burn her brain if she thinks about them too much, hot coals on a grate. Twenty one out of forty. If it were a grade in a test it’d barely be a pass, and Vanessa can practically see her eyes turn green in the studio mirrors if she thinks about the fact they were sixth on the leaderboard behind Jan and Jackie, Crystal and Gigi, Monique and Monet, Akeria and Asia and Jaida and Yvie. Vanessa does not do sixth. Vanessa does not do anything other than top three, and the fact that she ended last week in the middle of the leaderboard enrages her. Okay, she knows this isn’t her journey- it’s Brooke’s, but Vanessa has a reputation to uphold; it’s her first year and she cannot be seen as a dud pro. So on Sunday she’d channeled her fighting spirit into an appropriate dance, and this week they’re doing a Paso Doble. Well. They’re meant to be doing a Paso Doble, but it’s fast and it’s frenetic and Brooke isn’t managing to get her head around this one particular section. Vanessa feels like packing it in, to tell the producers they’re doing something else, but really what kind of person would she be if she pulled that stunt? So instead she’s been watching Brooke become increasingly irritated at herself since 8 this morning and tried to come up with a way she can teach it that’ll work.

“This is my fault,” Vanessa verbalises what she’s thinking and bites her lip. “I’ve made this too hard.”

Brooke suddenly freezes and glares at her. “Are you saying I’m shit?”

PANIC. “No, fuck no! That’s not it at all, I just-”

Vanessa suddenly relaxes as Brooke splutters a held-in laugh, thumping her on the arm. “Shut the fuck up, bitch! I was nervous.”

“Not as nervous as I am about this fucking dance,” Brooke sighs, running her hands down her face slowly. Vanessa looks at the clock and makes a decision.

“You hungry?”

Brooke shrugs. “I am quite, now you mention it.”

“Good. Get your jacket. We’re gonna get lunch.”

Brooke winces. “But I still haven’t got-”

“We have got all damn day to learn this motherfuckin’ dance, now will you put your jacket on and let’s go?” Vanessa says firmly, Brooke giving a little laugh, shaking her head in resignation before crossing the room to grab her things. Vanessa’s pleased, and there’s small fireworks going off in her heart. She’s just asked Brooke to lunch and she’s said yes, not that Vanessa gave her much of a choice admittedly. As Brooke holds the door of the studio open for her, Vanessa starts wondering about where they could go to eat. She’s distracted by the way they’re walking down the corridor side-by-side, the way that Brooke stays close to her despite the fact there’s plenty room for them to have their own space. Vanessa feels like putting an arm around her waist, then decides against it. That kind of contact is special, reserved for a Saturday night after their dance is over and they’re standing together in front of the judges.

They walk out into the chilly October air, and Vanessa’s regretting only taking her hoodie out with her. The weather is quintessentially British- it had been raining that morning but now it has subsided, so the paving slabs glisten with puddles and the cars that go by roll smoothly through the rain-sheened roads and the grey clouds still hang heavy and ominous in the sky. Normally weather like this makes Vanessa yearn for her trips back to Puerto Rico, where the October temperatures are what the UK could only dream of in Summer, but standing outside in the cold and damp doesn’t seem so bad with Brooke looking at her expectantly.

“Where d’you wanna go?” she asks her. Brooke shrugs.

“Starbucks? Take it back and we can eat while we practise?”

Vanessa lets out a laugh and rolls her eyes, both irritated and impressed by Brooke’s dedication. She has a think and then remembers that place a few streets along from the studios where she, Akeria and Monique had grabbed brunch one time before a pro dance rehearsal. The thought of poached eggs with golden yolks on avocado toast makes her stomach rumble and she jerks her head in its direction. “C’mon.”

The walk and the fresh, icy air works a treat at clearing Vanessa’s head and by the time she and Brooke grab a wobbly wooden table by the steamed-up window in the cafe she’s feeling loads better about their Paso even though technically it’s still a mess. She picks up the menu despite knowing exactly what she wants and gives it a scan before Brooke plucks it unceremoniously out of her hands.

“Hey!”

“What?” Brooke smirks knowingly. Vanessa doesn’t complain further, instead indulging in the way Brooke’s eyes dart about as she scans the dishes on the menu, the way her brow furrows and the way she bites her bottom lip as she thinks. When Brooke looks at her again, Vanessa rushes to pretend she hadn’t had her eyes on her first.

“They have some really nice stuff here.”

Vanessa nudges the fork on the table a little to the left. “Me, Kiki an’ Monique went here a couple weeks back. They both had pancakes and they were really good apparently, so…”

She tails off, and Brooke nods. “You’re close with them, huh?”

“Well, we’re all kind of like sisters. All the dancers. In, like…the most literal way possible. We bicker and bitch and steal each others’ makeup and clothes but we love each other underneath it all. But yeah, those two are my girls,” Vanessa smiles involuntarily as she thinks about her friends. She thinks before adding, “They helped me through all the shit last year.”

Brooke smiles sympathetically and nods. “That’s cute that you’re all, like, a family.”

“It’s real nice. ‘Specially since all I really have here is my Mom, and I don’t get to see her all that often.”

Brooke leans her chin on her hands, listening intently. Vanessa realises she’s left her last sentence a little cryptic, so she elaborates. “We came over from San Juan when I was two. Fuck knows why my Mom wanted to leave, but we did. The rest of my family’s still over there- my Abuela, my Tia and Tio, all my lil’ cousins.”

“Do you get to visit much?” Brooke asks. Vanessa nods a yes.

“Way more nowadays than I ever got to when I was little. Obviously when we first came here we didn’t have a huge amount of money but my Mom always made sure to save enough to fly back every Summer for the school holidays an’ stuff.”

Vanessa pauses and looks out of the window. Her stomach feels tight with guilt. “But obviously it got harder when I started wanting to dance, cuz hell, if this country don’t like giving out free school meals then they sure as hell hate subsidisin’ your dance classes.”

Brooke laughs humourlessly in agreement. Vanessa picks at her cuticles as she keeps talking, stares at the table to avoid Brooke’s eyes. “So there were sometimes Summers when we couldn’t afford to go back over because of me. That was hard. My Mom was always really good about it and encouraged me and said it was fine but I still remember her on the phone to my family and how much she cried afterwards…damn. I felt like shit. Guess I still do.”

Brooke pulls a sympathetic face. “But I mean, you’ve been able to go back since then, right? So what do you have to be guilty for?”

“I don’t know,” Vanessa shrugs sharply, frowns a little. “I guess it was just selfish of me. Lookin’ back I should’ve thought about my Mom more.”

“Yeah, but it all worked out for the best. You’re now able to fly her out way more frequently because of the career you’re in, because of the sacrifices you both made back then. Right?��

Vanessa feels something bloom in her ribcage as she smiles at Brooke. Her eyes are kind and she’s talking like a therapist and listening to all of Vanessa’s pent-up guilt and regret even though she has absolutely no responsibility or obligation to do so. “Yeah. Sorry. I just kinda dumped all that on you.”

Brooke shakes her head. “Don’t be silly. This is nice.”

Nice. It is nice. It’s nice to sit in a busy, cosy cafe with Brooke while outside is cold and damp and talk about her life and be listened to. Vanessa feels content and peaceful for the first time perhaps since this competition started. Her mind hasn’t been this clear in a while.

“What about your family?” Vanessa asks. Brooke smiles involuntarily as she gazes at the ceiling. It’s cute.

“Aw, I miss them so much. My Mommy, my total queen and my rock. I love her,” she says happily. Vanessa can’t help but smile at her words. She knows what it’s like to cling to her Mom as growing up they only really had each other. Brooke folds her arms as she continues. “And then I’ve got my older brother and two older sisters who I love to death as well. But I don’t miss my sisters. Well, I don’t miss the way they borrow half my fucking outfits.”

Vanessa snorts a laugh as Brooke shakes her head long-sufferingly. “So you’re the baby of the family then?”

Brooke shrugs. “An overgrown baby at thirty years old, but yeah. All my siblings are either in relationships or married so you can imagine how fun that is whenever I go back to Canada, getting questioned by the fucking relationship Gestapo.”

The sentence makes Vanessa’s heart start climbing the stairs of hope, and she’s not even attempting to stop it. She fidgets with a corner of her paper napkin as she speaks again. “Oh, so you ain’t…you’re not seeing anyone at the moment, then?”

“Why, who’s asking?” Brooke cocks an eyebrow. Vanessa instantly feels her cheeks flood scarlet, and Brooke lets out a howl of a laugh. “Kidding, kidding! No, I’m not seeing anyone.”

“Right, right,” Vanessa nods as nonchalantly as she can. She thinks about testing deeper conversational waters, considers killing two birds of curiosity with one stone. They’re on the topic of relationships, and who knows when they’ll get onto it again, so she decides to dive in. “Just thought you might, y’know…have a boyfriend. Or somethin’.”

“No, no boyfriend,” Brooke says simply. She leans her head on the fist she’s made and raises her eyebrows a little, giving Vanessa a quick once-over. “Or girlfriend.”

It’s the answer she’s been hoping for, confirming her suspicions that Brooke’s into girls, but the flirting panics her and so Vanessa reaches for the discarded menu to fidget with as she lightly shrugs, moving the conversation along with all the tact and delicacy of a steamroller. “So you live on your own then?”

“Yeah. Just me.”

“Me too. You like it?”

Brooke pulls a face, looks down in thought for a second. “Sometimes. Part of me likes the feeling of being completely on my own, because I can do literally whatever the hell I want, take things at my own pace. There’s nobody to nag me or tell me what to do. I realise that makes me sound literally half my age, but it’s true. I can sing as loud as I want.”

“You sing?” Vanessa asks, intrigued. Brooke laughs.

“I didn’t say I sing well!” she snorts, and Vanessa lets out a giggle too. Brooke continues, her gaze focused on the world outside the window as she speaks. “It’s nice though, that feeling of freedom. On the other hand I just miss, like…coexisting with someone? I don’t know. Like when I came to uni over here and I had flatmates and there was that feeling of comfort to know that there was always someone in the next room to talk to, or make dinner with, or just watch TV with. Just someone to do normal shit with. You know?” Brooke narrows her eyes as she finishes her sentence, appealing to Vanessa.

“Yeah, I get it,” Vanessa replies, letting out a little sigh as she lets a few memories in and then slams that particular door firmly shut. “I miss that too, sometimes.”

The silence lingers between the two of them for a second before Brooke speaks again, her tone upbeat and cheerful. “But I mean, for the most part, my flat’s great. It’s part of this new-build, hi-tech apartment complex that only got done building last year. We’ve got a gym, there’s a shop at the bottom, there’s meeting rooms we can book…”

“Yeah, I think you told me about the gym once,” Vanessa nods in recognition, and Brooke’s smile widens as she has an idea.

“You should come round some time. You’d love it.”

Vanessa tries to stop the blush that threatens to hit her face. The invitation is personal and not rehearsal or show related, and that fact shouldn’t make her as happy as it does. She fixes Brooke with a smile and nods shyly. “Yeah. That’d be cool.”

Still visibly buoyed, Brooke reaches across the table and rests her hand on top of Vanessa’s, patting it gently. There’s a little spark of static when they touch, a metaphor come to life. When Brooke smiles at her, Vanessa feels comfortable.

“This was a good idea. Thanks for dragging me out.”

Vanessa shrugs, doesn’t move her hand. She smiles lazily at her dance partner. “It’s okay. We both needed a break.”

As the waiter comes to take their order Brooke’s hand flies out from its position on top of hers, but Vanessa doesn’t mind. There’s a connection that’s been forged that isn’t physical, and she knows it’s still there even if Brooke’s hand isn’t.

Rehearsal ends up going smoother the rest of that day. Okay- it’s not perfect, but Brooke starts picking it up and Vanessa’s mind is less cloudy. Thursday brings more rain and full runs of the dance that don’t go smoothly but Vanessa is relieved because at least they’ve fucking learned it. By Friday they’re exhausted and worn out and Vanessa hates this dance, hates this fucking dance, but it’s one step closer to being over for good. She’s disappointed when it occurs to her that they’re not going to get particularly favourable scores- their run is still riddled with mistakes, but at least Brooke’s worked hard on what she was critiqued for last week. Her core is stronger due to the planks Vanessa’s been making them both do at the start of every rehearsal and her elbow hasn’t drooped once- not that there’s much chance for it to during a Paso, but at least the judges will be able to see that she’s taking their comments on board. Vanessa’s proud of her. She tells Brooke so before they go home on Friday night, when it’s quiet outside and different shades of dark. She thinks Brooke might be blushing as she thanks her and says goodbye, but she can’t be sure.

Saturday happens in a frighteningly fast blur- there’s excitement but it’s nervous instead of anticipative, as everybody knows that tonight one couple will be eliminated. Vanessa’s not really worried about that though- the bottom of the leaderboard last week was comprised of Courtney and Blair, Plastique and Scarlet, Willam and Phi Phi and Aja and Farrah, so in comparison she supposes sixth isn’t too bad. Her aim for tonight’s dance had been to climb up the leaderboard a bit, but knowing how their Paso’s been going Vanessa will call it a success if they both stay where they are.

It turns out they drop down to seventh behind Shea and Peppermint, after their American Smooth has the judges on their feet. Brooke and Vanessa’s Paso goes…well, it goes. It’s not the best they’ve done it but it’s done, thank God, and they never have to do it again.

Unless of course they’re in the dance off. But Vanessa doesn’t permit herself to think about that. Instead, she thinks about the warmth of Brooke’s hand in hers as they walk through the corridor together after their judge’s critiques and their interview. Neither of them address the fact their hands are entwined, and that’s okay. Vanessa likes it like that.

“You okay?” she asks Brooke, halfway down the hallway, as their character shoes squeak quietly against the laminate flooring and they cast fleeting shadows against the manila walls.

Brooke sighs a little, gives a half-hearted shrug. “Yeah.”

“No you’re not. C’mere,” Vanessa frowns, using the hand she’s holding to pull Brooke into a hug. It’s gentle and tight all at once, the way Brooke’s strong arms are holding her close contrasting with the way her hands are light against her back. Brooke smells of a Saturday night: tan in a bottle and hairspray and Jimmy Choo Flash perfume. It’s not like her usual scent of freshly-washed hair and her fabric softener (Lenor Gold Orchid- Vanessa had smelt them all rather self-indulgently on her last trip to Tesco to work out which was Brooke’s).

“I don’t want to let you down,” Brooke whispers above her, and Vanessa can tell she’s got tears in her eyes without even having to look into them. She takes a deep breath and shakes her head against her chest.

“You could go out there, forget the entire dance and do the fucking Macarena for all I care. You always make me proud.”

Vanessa feels Brooke press a kiss to the top of her head and it sets off a blush she can feel spreading down her face onto her neck and across her chest. Brooke had kissed her again after their dance had finished, quick and emphatic against her temple, and it had set off butterflies in her stomach that threatened to fly up into the rigging of the lights. Vanessa wants to get caught up in the moment, wants even to hold her gaze and see how she’d react if she asked to kiss her properly, but instead she pulls herself out of the hug. She keeps their hands connected though and as she meets Brooke’s eyes and finds that she’s smiling at her, Vanessa concludes it was the right decision to make.

“Fuck the scores,” she says, remembering each paddle (4, 5, 5, 5) with a sting as if she’s been smacked with them. “The Paso wasn’t for us and it’s over now. On to the next one.”

“Unless we’re in the dance off.”

“Brooke Lynn, Bianca gave Blair a two. I think we’ll be fine.”

Vanessa isn’t wrong, and it turns out their position looks better compared to some of the other dances they see once they’ve been through makeup to get neatened up again. Poor Scarlet tries her best to get through her Jive with Plastique but her feet just aren’t doing the things Vanessa knows Scarlet wants them to, and the judges give them a combined score of fifteen. Scarlet looks deflated as she leaves the dancefloor and the moment their interview is over Vanessa watches as Yvie pulls her into a hug (Vanessa knows that type of hug because she’s just given Brooke the exact same one). Aja and Farrah’s Samba wasn’t great either and they earn themselves a mark of seventeen. Despite this, though, by the time the show finishes and they have to assemble to film the results (which are pre-recorded and then broadcast on a Sunday), they’re both a bag of nerves. She and Brooke are placed on the stairs with a spotlight burning down onto them, ants under a magnifying glass. The mood between the couples is decidedly tense, and as Vanessa looks down at the girls on the dancefloor she sees Monet squeeze Monique’s waist as Monique sighs and rests her head against the other girl’s shoulder. Vanessa wants to scoff at the fact they both seem nervous. The waltz they did almost brought the house down and they even got a nine from Laganja, so unless the only votes they got were ones they gave themselves, they’re very likely to be safe.

Michelle does her intro and, as the lights go down, Vanessa feels as if her heart is going to break her ribcage it’s beating so heavily.

“I can now reveal that the first couple safe and through to next week is…”

Long pause. The beat of a drum and Brooke’s pulse that Vanessa can feel through the hand she’s holding. Vanessa is so nervous that she casts her eyes up to the heavens. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee…

“Jan and Jackie!”

Jan screams and Jackie falls gratefully into her arms as she yells a “thank you!” at the camera that’s barely heard over the applause.

“The second couple safe is…”

Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Vanessa gives a minute bow of her head like her Mom taught her to do at mass when she was little. Is it sacreligious to pray if you’re lapsed? Some priests probably think so. Vanessa hopes it’s working in their favour anyway.

“Heidi and Vixen!”

Vanessa can’t see their reaction as they’re positioned above them at the very top of the stairs, and she doesn’t want to turn around in case…it’s bad luck? She doesn’t know. At this point she’s not risking anything, not even looking up to see Brooke’s face.

“The next couple safe and through to next week is…”

Holy Mary, Mother of God…you take away the sins of the world? Nah, that’s the wrong one. Fuck.

“Gigi and Crystal!”

Vanessa wants to roll her eyes, much as she’s happy for her friend. Of course they’re safe. They were second on the leaderboard last week and first tonight after a scarily in-sync Charleston. It comes as no surprise to her.

“The first couple in tonight’s dance-off will be…”

Vanessa feels truly nauseous. It wouldn’t be impossible for it to be them, stranger things have happened on the show. What the fuck is that next line? Holy Mary, Mother of God…

“Blair and Courtney.”

Vanessa’s heart feels as if it’s been shocked by jumpleads. She feels Brooke give an involuntary squeeze of her hand, and Vanessa strokes her thumb against hers in return. They just need to not be the other couple in the dance off. It’s doable.

“The next couple safe and through to next week is…”

…pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death-

“Brooke and Vanessa!”

Vanessa doesn’t screech or scream. Instead she finally turns to Brooke, who’s meeting her smile with a matching one plastered across her own face. She falls into her outstretched arms in relief, and mumbles a “thank you” to the camera while Brooke holds her tight. They’ve made it. They live to fight another week.

Amen.

Of course, one couple isn’t so lucky and, after a tense dance-off between Scarlet and Plastique and Blair and Courtney, it turns out Blair is the first celebrity to leave the competition. The girls get upset- the celebrities have all become a part of their big, crazy family now, and it’s sad that Vanessa will no longer hear Blair laugh at something Vixen has said, or compliment her on her makeup, or ask to get selfies with everyone in the dressing room. It’s Vixen, though, who is affected the most by Blair’s departure. Vanessa knows they’re good friends but she wonders if perhaps they’ll ever become something more as she watches Vixen cling to Yvie and sob and sob. The moment they’re all allowed, the pros and celebrities flood the dancefloor as Blair and Courtney dance their last dance. Vixen makes a beeline for Blair and Courtney graciously steps out of her way so the pair of them can hug and cry in tandem.

“Shit, this is rough,” Vanessa mutters to nobody in particular. Monique, who’s materialised beside her, shrugs.

“Yep, well. I don’t plan on havin’ to go through it, so it’s not a problem for me.”

Vanessa snorts at her friend’s cockiness, then pulls a sympathetic face as Blair approaches the pair of them, all streaming mascara and sniffles.

“C’mere, baby. You did so well, be proud of yourself,” Vanessa offers to her, and Blair smiles gently before her face crumples again.

“Just…look after my girl, okay?” she asks them hopefully. Monique smiles, rubs her forearm gently.

“Oh, sweetie, Courtney will be fine, she’s a big girl.”

“Courtney?” Blair asks, confused. Then she appears to realise something and she smiles back at Monique, a little embarrassed. “Oh no, um…I meant Toni. Can you both look out for her? Make sure she’s okay after I’m gone? I mean I know her and Heidi are going to go far, but…y’know.”

Vanessa wants to cock an eyebrow at Monique in recognition, but she doesn’t. Instead she gives Blair a reassuring look, takes her hand and squeezes it gently. “Sure we will.”

Appeased, Blair thanks them and gives them both a hug before moving on to say goodbye to some of the other girls. As she walks away, Vanessa hears Monique give a big sigh beside her. She tilts her head at her friend inquisitively. “You ‘kay?”

“Yeah, uh…” Monique sighs, rubs her eyes a little. “Could we do lunch at some point this week? Me, you, Kiki. I just need my girls’ advice.”

“About what?” Vanessa asks her. Then, as she follows Monique’s gaze over to where Monet is standing talking to Shea and Aja, the penny drops. “Oh. OH. Okay. Yeah, we’ll do lunch, bitch.”

Monique smiles gratefully at her, then gives her a hug and a goodnight as she’s starting choreography early tomorrow. The coming week’s theme is movies, which is always fun, and Vanessa already has a number in mind. It’s ridiculous, and so quintessentially Strictly. She can’t wait to show it to Brooke.

As Vanessa thinks of Brooke, she finds her eyes scanning the group of girls to see where she is. She’s smiling as she’s talking to Plastique and Scarlet, her smile bright and dazzling and her eyes kind. The lights are hitting her highlight and making it look as if she’s glowing, and her hair catches the light too in its smooth and glossy bun.

Vanessa feels her heart yearn, and she considers the possibility that perhaps it won’t just be Monique talking about the feelings she has for her partner when they both go to lunch with Akeria.

#rpdr fanfiction #ortega #bet you look good on the dancefloor #strictly au #lesbian au #branjie #vanessa vanjie mateo #brooke lynn hytes #monique heart #monet x change #blair st clair #the vixen #scarlet envy #yvie oddly #background momo #background scyvie #background crygi

19 notes · View notes

noona-la-la-la · 6 years

Text

Conditioned (Part 6)

(You follow through on your promise for a dinner date and Tae keeps falling in deeper.)

Warnings: 13870 words. I don’t even want to tell you what kind of sex stuff is happening here because I’d rather you be as surprised as the characters are. Just know there is a BUNCH of sex stuff.

Chapter 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Friday at work was a lost cause. Tae had been staring at the blinking cursor on his computer screen for most of the morning, only occasionally typing out a word or two. He was supposed to be writing a status report for the new project he was working on, but instead he was lost in his thoughts about you.

Something was different last night. Tae couldn’t quite articulate what exactly it was, but it felt like the mood between the two of you was shifting. Unfortunately, he didn’t know if that was a good or bad sign. He thought about your confession that he held a special place in your memory, but he felt bad that your year in Korea as a teen had been so difficult for you. Still, he couldn’t help but swell with pride that he had provided you with some sense of comfort, even if all he ever did was stare at you from his window.

The two of you were growing closer; he was sure of it. The conversation had been easy and comfortable; you opened up to him. Everything had been going so well, until it was time for you to leave.

The thought of you with some other man made Tae unnaturally anxious. It wasn’t even about you being with another guy; you had been with plenty of guys in the past couple of months and while it never felt great, Tae had accepted it and the jealousy quickly dissipated. But this was different. This wasn’t some random man, this was someone you chose to let into your life. You called him a friend in the same way you called Tae your friend. This guy was competition for your attention and Tae didn’t even know what exactly he was up against.

I’m being ridiculous, he told himself. You were a free woman. You had no obligations to him and you had been very clear about the way you chose to live your life. Tae needed to just accept things for what they are. He was just one of many men you kept around for your amusement. Most guys would jump at the chance to have what he had with you. No strings attached sex… if he was even able to call what the two of you did together “sex”. Whatever it was, you had opened up Tae to new ideas and new pleasures. His orgasms hadn’t been this intense since he was a teen. So, you denied him the opportunity to fuck you the way you did those other men… so what? Tae was free to seek other women to fill in those gaps -- if only he had any desire for other women.

The truth was that since meeting you again, Tae hadn’t given any other women any serious consideration. His head was filled with you. When would he see you again? What would you permit him to do? And what would he have to do to start seeing you more often?

Tae shook his head, rolled his neck, and stretched out his arms. It was time to be rid of these pointless thoughts of you and get back to work. He resumed typing his report, but was only able to stay focused for about ten minutes before his mind started to wander again. Sunday, he thought. She’s making a home cooked meal for me on Sunday. That must mean something, right?

“Hey! Earth to Tae!” Tae was startled by Hoseok’s voice behind him. “Quit your daydreaming. It’s time for lunch.”

“It’s lunchtime already?” Tae blinked, staring back blankly at his friend. “I really have lost all track of time today.”

“No kidding. Every time I’ve passed by your desk today, you are staring off into space.” Hoseok imitated Tae by staring off into the distance, slack jawed. “What are you even thinking about?”

“I just didn’t get enough sleep last night.”

“Oh?” Hosek raised an eyebrow and snickered. “So, your date must have gone pretty well last night.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter. It was just a wholesome date between two people.”

“She’s the ‘good-girl’ type, huh? Too bad. Anyways, you can tell me all about it over lunch. Let’s go, already. I’m starving.” Hoseok motioned for Tae to get up from his chair.

“I’m skipping lunch today. I’m way behind on this report and it’s due by end of day. You’ll have to go by yourself.” The report could have easily waited until Monday, but Tae was in no mood to answer the inevitable questions about his date last night. In fact, he wasn’t sure how to explain his relationship with you to anyone.

“That sucks. Do you want me to bring you anything back?”

Tae just shook his head and sent his friend on his way. He went back to finishing the report, until a few minutes later when he was distracted by a thought, I wonder what she’ll cook on Sunday. She doesn’t seem like the domestic type, but then again she’s an artist and cooking can be a creative outlet...

Tae had just walked through the front door of his apartment when he heard the message notification

Jimin (6:31PM): BAR NIGHT! 9PM BE THERE!

Tae (6:31PM): Too tired. Going to bed early.

Jimin (6:33PM) Fuck U! Ur coming - I need my wingman!

Tae was in the midst of typing up an explanation of why he didn’t want to go out tonight when the phone started ringing. It was Jimin.

“I don’t want to hear any excuses. You are coming out tonight and that’s that! We haven’t gone out together in weeks.”

“That’s not my fault, now is it? You’re the one who’s been running around hanging out with other friends or going out on dates with the girl of the month.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a new month and that girl is history. I need to find a new girl of the month and I need my best wingman there to help me find her. Besides, it will be fun. I need some quality time with my best friend!”

“What happened to this most recent girl?” Tae flopped down on the couch to hear Jimin’s latest tale of woe.

“The same thing that happens with all of them. I lost interest, so I broke it off. Honestly Tae, I think I need to be more like you.”

“How’s that?”

“Every time I hook up with a chick, I feel the need to date her exclusively. All I end up with is a month or two wasted on someone who I was always incompatible with. But you are a master at cutting things off early. One night stands stay as one night stands. Maybe you’ll date a girl 2 or 3 times, but then you end it and it’s on to the next one. God, I don’t even remember the last time you had an actual girlfriend. It’s probably been a couple years.”

“I don’t know that being like me is such a good idea. Relationships are good things, aren’t they?” Tae thought about his last girlfriend and how they broke up almost two years ago. She had been dropping hints about getting married and no matter how hard he tried, Tae couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life with her. She was beautiful and nice, she had a respectable job, she was easy to get along with and compliant. She never seemed to have very strong opinions about anything and whenever they argued, she would capitulate and let Tae win. It was more important to her that he be happy than she get what she wanted, and that bored Tae to no end.

“Yeah, yeah. Relationships are good things when the two people really care about each other and all that. I just haven’t met the right girl yet. So, help me find the right girl. Come out tonight!”

“You really think you can meet the right girl at the bar?” Tae asked.

“No, not really -- but I don’t care. Just come with me. I’ll look creepy if I go to the bar alone and try to chat up some girls.”

“Fine. I’ll meet you there.” Despite his earlier protestations, Tae was thinking that a night out with Jimin might be a nice distraction from all the thoughts rolling around in his head.

Jimin was scanning the bar, pointing out all the pairs of attractive single women he could find. “Okay, I think we gotta make our move fast if you have any interest in trying for those two girls sitting at the end of the bar. There’s some dude-bro over there checking them out and I think he’s about to make his move… FUCK! Where did those guys come from?!” Jimin slammed his beer down on the table as he watched two other men strike up a conversation with the women he had been eyeing.

Tae tried not to choke on his drink while watching his friend go red faced with frustration. “Chill out, Jimin. It’s not that big a deal. You’re coming across a little desperate tonight. What’s with that?”

“I don’t know. I feel like I’m going through a mid-life crisis these days.”

“Aren’t you a little young for that?”

“Maybe. I just feel like I’ve been doing the dating thing all wrong. I say I want a girlfriend but I end up in all these short-term relationships that aren’t really doing anything for me. Therefore, I’ve decided that, for right now, I think it would be better if I explore my carnal nature and play the field. A new girl every night! No strings attached! I want to experience some variety and see what all is out there for me. I’m taking the Kim Taehyung approach to dating.”

“You are so full of shit. It’s not like you haven’t had your fair share of one night stands. Besides, I’m not purposefully trying to play the field. Having a girlfriend would be great if I could ever find the right girl.”

“I’m not sure you would know the right girl if she was standing right in front of you. What exactly was missing from all those girls you’ve hooked up with over the last couple years. Just face it, you’re a playboy by nature.”

Tae picked at the label on his beer bottle. “I would have probably agreed with you a few months ago, but I really think the problem is that I’m not meeting the right kind of person. My dad always told me that when he met my mom, his whole world turned upside down. He said that she was completely different from anyone he had ever met before and that she made him see the world in new ways. I guess I’m looking for someone who does that for me. Instead, all I meet is one girl after the next who seems exactly the same as the others.”

“Maybe you are being too picky.”

“Maybe,” Tae replied. He thought for a moment about you and how you were definitely different from other girls and you certainly were turning his world upside down. But romance was out of the question, wasn’t it? Tae thought for sure you would prohibit it. He considered for a moment talking to Jimin about you and getting his opinion, but Tae didn’t know how to explain his current situation without getting into all the embarrassing details.

When Tae looked back up from his beer to hear Jimin’s response, he noticed Jimin distracted by a girl from across the room.

“Check her out. Black jeans with the white shirt.” Jimin discretely tried to motion to the subject of his interest. “I think she’s into me.”

“Which one are we talking about? Jimin, there are at least 10 girls in here wearing an outfit that fits that description.”

“I’m heading over there. If she turns out to be friendly, I’ll motion for you to come over and you can keep her friends distracted while I talk to her.”

“So, I’m being relegated to the leftovers tonight?”

“Whatever. She’s hanging out with at least 3 other girls. Who knows? One of them might be that girl you’ve been looking for who can rock your world.”

The night at the bar turned out to be more fun than Tae was expecting. Jimin spent the whole of the evening talking to the girl in the white shirt. Meanwhile, Tae held court with the girl’s three friends, who fawned over him and seemed to be competing for his attention. It was an enormous boost to his ego.

One of the girls, Minhee, had unusually short hair and wore her blouse unbuttoned a little further than one would consider tasteful. She looked different from the average girl in the bar and Tae set his sights on her. Eventually the other two girls gave up hope and went looking for different men, leaving Tae and Minhee alone together.

Minhee was blatant in her attraction to Tae. As the night wore on and drinks continued to flow, she leaned in more closely than was necessary to hear him, angling herself so that Tae could easily see down her shirt to the lacy black bra she wore beneath it. Tae was certain that wasn’t an accident. Minhee laughed a little too loudly at his jokes and took every opportunity to casually touch him, brushing against him as she adjusted herself in her seat or grazing his arm as she spoke.

At one point, the two of them were sitting side by side and Minhee let her hand rest on top of Tae’s thigh. Tae spread himself out wide in a sign of dominance, his arm draped across the back of Minhee’s chair, his knees as far apart as they could go until he bumped into her leg.

He wondered if she would move her hand further up this thigh, perhaps she might be bold enough to rub against his crotch the way he had seen you doing with that guy at the restaurant when he was out with his coworkers. For once, Tae wanted to be one of those guys. One of the men that you would go out of your way to pleasure… and if you weren’t going to be the one to do it, then maybe Minhee would.

He wasn’t entirely sure how it happened. Tae was thinking about you and how badly he wanted to know what it was like to touch you freely and the next thing he knew he was holding Minhee tightly in his arms, his tongue thrust into her mouth while his right hand groping her breast.

“Oh my god, you guys! Get a room already!” The recommendation came from the girl Jimin was with, who laughed as she said it. Tae decided to take her up on the idea and leaned into Minhee’s ear, inviting her to a motel a few blocks from the bar.

Tae lead her by the hand out of the bar and down the street, occasionally stopping to kiss her or grope her. She squealed with delight while Tae squeezed her ass in public. Eventually they made it to the motel and stumbled through the door of their rented room, lips still locked together.

Once inside the room, there was a moment of hesitation. It was that awkward moment when two people who don’t really know each other need to figure out what comes next. “Are you okay with all of this?” Tae asked her.

“Uh-huh. Yeah,” was all she responded.

“Look, if there is something that you are into or want, you just have to let me know. Okay?”

“I’m sure I’ll like whatever it is that you like.” Minhee kept her eyes cast downward while she stepped closer to him, as if she wanted him to kiss her again, but she took no initiative to start the kiss herself.

Tae looked at Minhee and took notice of the shy way she was presenting herself. It was a look Tae had seen in most of the women he had been with -- she was waiting for him to take the lead. Thinking back over the evening, Tae realized that Minhee’s flirtations all fell squarely into the category of safe and standard. “Accidental” touches and coy laughter were the go-to tells of every girl he had ever been with.

Except for you. If Tae was in this hotel room with you right now, you would make sure to take your pleasure and leave nothing to chance. You always had rules and were explicitly up front about what you wanted and what the limits would be for the evening. As much frustration Tae felt by the limits you had set on your interactions together, he was doubly aroused by your assertiveness. Everything you did felt like a precious gift you were bestowing on him and you always left him wanting more and anticipating the next time he could be with you.

Tae took a step back and looked at Minhee. She was beautiful and willing. Tae was certain that if he only unzipped his fly, she would drop to her knees with her mouth open. If he led her to the bed, she would fall back upon it and spread her legs to welcome him inside her body. It would feel so good to be inside that body, Tae reminded himself. Just like if felt good the times he had been with the many other women just like Minhee.

“I’m sorry. I made a mistake bringing you here.” Tae couldn’t believe the words coming out of his own mouth.

“What are you talking about?” Minhee looked confused.

“I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s me. You are a beautiful girl and any man in his right mind would want to be with you. Unfortunately, I’m in kind of a weird place right now and I just don’t think this is the right thing for me.” Tae started backing towards the door.

“Are you seriously leaving right now?!” Minhee’s eyes were wide and he voice wavered when she spoke.

“The room is paid for, so stay as long as you want. It’s all yours. I’m sorry. I’m really so very sorry,” Tae repeated his apologies until he was in the hallway closing the motel room door behind him, leaving a cursing Minhee in the room alone.

Tae woke up the next morning in his apartment, naked and alone. His mouth was dry and he smelled like stale cigarettes and booze. Rolling over to check the time, Tae was irritated to discover it was only 8:30 am. “Jesus. I must be getting old. I can’t even sleep in properly anymore.”

He didn’t bother showering and instead sprayed himself with cologne to mask the stench before throwing on sweats and a tee shirt. He staggered into the kitchen to eat a bowl of cereal over the sink while contemplating last night.

The expression on Minhee’s face was burned into his brain. Tae struggled to understand himself; asking himself over and over why he had done it. Deep down, he knew the reason was because he was comparing Minhee to you.

Staring at his distorted reflection in his spoon, Tae chided himself. “You could have gotten laid, man. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you turning down a sure thing to pine for a woman who fucks everybody but you? Huh?” Since no answers were forthcoming, Tae simply tossed his spoon into the sink full of unwashed dishes and settled into a day full of video games to distract him from his thoughts.

After several straight hours of game play, Tae couldn’t ignore the ache in his legs and the growling of his belly. He pulled off his headphones and stood up, stretching his arms and shaking his atrophying legs. Making his way towards the kitchen, Tae grabbed his phone off of the kitchen table where he had left it earlier in the day -- Jimin had been trying to reach him.

11:01am (Jimin) You up? Call me.

11:51am (Jimin) R u still asleep? I need to tell someone my tale of woe!

Missed call (Park Jimin) 12:20pm

12:21pm (Jimin) R u with that girl from last night still?

12:22pm (Jimin) My chick left me high and dry.

12:22pm (Jimin) At least one of us got laid.

Missed call (Park Jimin) 12:43pm

1:14pm (Jimin) where r u? at least text me to prove that girl didnt kill u!

Tae wasn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone, but knowing that Jimin wasn’t going to stop, he dialed his friend.

“What the fuck, man! Have you been asleep all this time?” Jimin greeted Tae.

“Sorry. I’ve been gaming all morning and didn’t hear the phone.” Tae opened the refrigerator door to see what was available to eat while he spoke.

“Anyway, last night was a total fucking waste. I spent all night working on that one girl and I’m thinking she’s into me, so I keep buying drinks and whatever. When you and your chick took off, I hinted that maybe we should follow your lead. But she acts coy and shit and tells me she doesn’t want to leave the other girls she came with by themselves just yet, but maybe later. I should have cut out and found someone else at that point, but I’m a dumbass.”

Tae sniffed a container of leftover Chinese food, wrinkled his nose at the rancid smell and tossed it aside before digging around in the fridge a little more. “So, what happened?”

The frustration in Jimin’s voice was clear. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened. I stuck with her thinking I could get some action, but when closing time comes around and I suggest we take things back to my place or wherever, she tells me that she’s not that kind of girl. Not THAT kind of girl! She says she never hooks up with someone she just met and then she tells me that I can call her if I’m interested in going out on a date or some shit like that.”

“So, I take it you aren’t going to be calling her?” Tae closed the refrigerator door and moved to the kitchen cabinets to see if anything worthwhile was hidden there.

“Fuck no. Dating gets me nowhere. I’m trying to turn over a new leaf. I thought I told you this already.”

“What exactly was this leaf you turned over again?”

“You really don’t pay any attention to the things I say, do you? It’s a new era for me. I’m not pretending to fall in love anymore. I want sex. Period. If I happen to fall in love while I’m fucking someone, then that’s great. But I’m not trying to do it the other way around anymore. I’m a newly liberated Jimin!”

“So how is this new sexual liberation working out for you so far?” Tae teased Jimin.

“I’m still working through it. I know a couple girls that I think could be down for a friends-with-benefits situation.”

“Whatever. You should have called one of those girls last night.”

“I tried texting them after I got blown off at the bar. One girl texted me back that she’s too busy for drop-ins and that I need to plan ahead if I want sex. The other girl called me back to yell at me for only reaching out to her when I can’t get laid by someone else.”

Tae couldn’t help but laugh at his friend’s misfortune. “You aren’t getting off to a good start.”

“I’m undeterred. I just picked the wrong girl last night. But you obviously know how to pick them better than I do. How’d things go with um… what was her name?”

“Minhee? Yeah, that didn’t work out so well.”

“Oh?” Jimin asked. “Was she bad in bed?”

“We didn’t get that far. I just wasn’t feeling it.” Tae finally found a rogue packet of ramen noodles buried behind a jar of pickles and cans of tuna.

“What are you talking about? You were most definitely feeling her when you were at the bar. She was practically dry humping you at the table.”

“I don’t know. Things changed after we left the bar. She was hot and ready and all that, but something felt off, so I bailed.”

“Fuck you. I’m out here busting my balls trying to get some pussy and you are turning willing girls away.”

Tae felt bad thinking about how he left Minhee in the hotel room by herself. He wasn’t entirely sure how to explain himself. “I think I’ve just reached the point where I’m looking for something a little more special.”

“So, what are you saying? You only want girls that you think are girlfriend material?” Jimin almost sounded incredulous.

Tae thought about it for a second. He couldn’t honestly say that he was looking for a girlfriend. He couldn’t honestly say anything at all because he was as confused by his behavior as anyone else. “I don’t know that I’m looking for a girlfriend specifically. I’m just looking for something that feels different. All these girls seem the same and I’m tired of it.”

“Same in what way?”

As soon as Jimin asked the question, Tae could hear his phone beep, indicating another call was coming through. He pulled his phone away from his ear to look at who it was; his throat tightened and his heart started beating a little faster to see your name flashing across is screen.

“Hey, Jimin. I’ve got another call coming through that I need to take. Can I call you back later?” Tae didn’t even wait to hear a response before he clicked over to you.

“He-ey!” Tae’s voice cracked as soon as he started speaking to you and he faked a cough to cover it up. “Ahem. What’s up?”

“I’m at the grocery store right now and I realized that I never asked you what you wanted to eat tomorrow or if you have any allergies or things you hate.” You were speaking louder than normal to counter the din of noise in the background.

“It’s really noisy there.”

“I know, it’s super crowded in here today. It’s like every woman with kids in the city descended upon this particular grocery store today. I feel completely out of my element around so many housewives. I’m pretending like I’m one of them and acting like I know what I’m doing, but the truth is that I eat out probably 5 nights a week. I may be a little over my head here.”

Tae imagined you pushing your cart down the aisles, mingling with the respectable ladies of Seoul as they bragged about their children’s school rankings and husbands’ work promotions. He wondered if they had any idea that a true libertine walked among them. His mind wandered for a moment while he pictured the scene, you strolling past them with your hair pulled up in a messy ponytail, probably dressed in simple jeans and a tee shirt, looking like any normal girl but oozing sex out of every pore of your body. He slipped further into his imagination and wondered if you were wearing a bra right now, or if you let your breasts hang freely underneath the imagined tee shirt, your nipples protruding against the thin fabric...

“Tae? Are you still there?”

“Huh? Yeah, of course. Sorry, I was distracted by something for a minute. You know, you don’t have to cook for me if you don’t want to. We can go out for dinner at a restaurant instead. There’s a new place that is supposed to be good that isn’t too far from your apartment…”

“No. I’m definitely cooking,” you cut Tae off. “I spent the entire morning looking through cook books for ideas and I’m kind of excited at the prospect. I haven’t had anyone over for a meal since I moved here. Besides, if you are up for it, I have an idea for dessert that would be wholly inappropriate to do in a restaurant.”

With just a hint of something sexual potentially happening, Tae could already feel the blood rushing to his groin. “If that’s the case, I’m quite sure I will be happy with whatever you prepare.”

“No allergies?” you asked.

“No allergies.”

“And any foods you can’t stand? Are you okay with western food, or should I stick to a Korean menu?”

“I’m not really a picky eater. If you make it, I will eat it happily. I’m just looking forward to spending some time with you alone.” You were silent on the other end of the phone and Tae worried that his minor flirtation had landed poorly, so he rambled on. “Is there anything I should bring tomorrow? I’ll grab some wine on the way. Should I get a red or a white? I can bring a bottle of both actually. Since I don’t know what you are making and what kind of wine would go best, I’ll get both. Yeah. That’s what I’ll do. So, don’t worry about drinks…”

“I’ve got plenty of wine here already,” you interrupted him. “You don’t need to bring anything other than yourself.”

“Are you sure? I feel bad showing up empty handed.”

“Well, there is one thing you could do for me before you come over.” Your voice deepened and the volume dropped ever so slightly, as if what you were about to say was extremely important.

“Okay, what is it?” Tae inquired.

“Shave off your pubic hair for me.”

Tae felt his dick twitch at the request. “Shave it off? All of it?” He felt a little weak in the knees as his mind raced with all the possibilities of why you were making this request. Was there a sex thing that required bare skin? Was it just a preference? Were you displeased with his hairiness? Maybe it was just you asking for him to prove his obedience, in which case he was sure he would end up complying.

“If you want, you can just shave your scrotum and trim back the rest of it. But I think you’ll be pleased with the results. Also, and this really is up to you, I think it would be best if you don’t masturbate tonight. I would love it if you came to dinner with your balls heavy and full and aching to cum. Can you do that for me?”

“Uh-huh. Sure.” Tae’s mouth was dry and he could barely get the words out. He crouched on the floor as he became unsteady. You always did this to him. He had no idea what was going on or what to expect, but he was certain that he wanted whatever it was that you had planned for him more than anything in the world right now.

“Okay, great!” Your voice switched to loud and chipper again. “I’m going to get back to my shopping. Come by my place around 6:30pm. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

After hanging up the phone, Tae laid down on the kitchen floor and stared up at the ceiling.

He didn’t even have words to describe what this relationship with you was. All he knew was that you kept him in a constant state of desire and he didn’t know how to make it stop if he even wanted to.

Tae held on to a bouquet of flowers with one hand and resisted the urge to scratch his genitals with the other. The flowers were a direct contradiction of your insistence that he didn’t need to bring anything with him to your dinner date. His mother had taught him that good manners required that he never accept a dinner invitation at someone’s home without bringing a gift and Tae couldn’t stand the idea of showing up empty handed.

The overwhelming itch between his legs was a direct result of obeying your other request. Asking him to shave his testicles was not something anyone had ever requested of him before, but Tae felt it was better to just do as you asked him and to try not to give too much thought as to why you were making the request.

Tae had always tried to keep his pubic hair trimmed short, mostly because he thought it made his dick look bigger, but it had never crossed his mind to shave it all off completely. Yet, there he was, standing naked in his bathroom, a brand new razor and a can of shaving cream in his hands, wondering if the guys at the gym would think he was strange when they saw him in the locker room. He shooed away any feelings of hesitation and went to work removing the hair in short deliberate strokes.

The process was going well until Tae started to think about what might have planned for him. You were just as likely to give him a mind numbing orgasm as you were to send him away desperate and unfulfilled. He had no idea what to expect, but it was difficult to not get his hopes up and fantasize about the possibilities. As his mind wandered, he could feel his dick start to stiffen ever so slightly and Tae contemplated jerking himself off -- going as far as lathering up his shaft and tugging at his partial erection before remembering your request that he not masturbate before your dinner. He stared at his dick in his hand and wondered how you would ever know whether or not he had cum the night before? Certainly you sexual prowess didn’t extend to knowing the exact quantity of semen or strength of ejaculation for a man who had masturbated 24 hours earlier versus one who hadn’t? And that assumed that you were even going to allow him to ejaculate in your presence, which was certainly not a guarantee, was it?

Wrapping his hand around his shaft more tightly, he stroked himself into a full erection before the feelings of guilt started to wash over him. You had told him it was his choice, but the last thing Tae wanted to do was disappoint you. Reluctantly, he released his grip and refocused his energies on finishing up his shaving as quickly as possible to avoid the distraction of his arousal.

He was not nearly as cautious now and rushed through the final steps of his grooming, not paying attention to the dulled razor blade which abraded his skin in the final swipe. This left Tae with a single inch wide strip of razor burn that looked and felt like and itchy rash and marred what was otherwise an impeccable shaving job. Now, here he was, standing in front of your apartment, allowing himself one last opportunity to scratch himself through his pants before knocking on your door.

“Well, hi there, handsome,” you greeted Tae wearing an apron and holding a large spoon.

He couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across his face. “Hello to you too.” Pointing to your apron, he commented, “You are looking very domestic.”

“Do you like it? I just bought it and I’m glad I did. It turns out I’m a messy cook.” You pointed to the splatters of food across fabric. “I really need to practice cooking more often. I just hope it all turns out edible.” You shut the door behind Tae.

“I’m sure it will be delicious.” Tae followed you into the kitchen. “Here, these are for you.” He held out the bouquet with both hands.

“You didn’t need to do this, but thank you.” Taking the flowers from his hands, you pulled out a vase. “They are lovely.”

“I wasn’t sure what you like, but I noticed that in your landscape paintings you have a lot of yellow flowers. So, I took a chance and got you yellow roses.” There was a pause of silence, making Tae nervous that he might have said something wrong. “Is that okay?”

Your face broke into a wide smile as you arranged the flowers in the vase. “It’s very okay. I’m just impressed you noticed that in my paintings. Most people aren’t that attentive.”

“Well, I’m not sure why people wouldn’t pay attention to that. Your paintings are obviously very important to you and…”

You cut him off before he could finish his thoughts. “Most people who come here are not that interested in what is important to me. They come here because they want something for themselves. You are unusual, Tae. You are special.”

The air in the room seemed to still and Tae could only hear the sound of the simmering stew and his own heartbeat. He cleared his throat to ease the tension. “So what kind of flowers are in the paintings? Did I guess correctly?”

“They’re wild daffodils, actually. My college roommate was from England, and I went to visit her and her family one summer. They lived out in the countryside and there were all these daffodils sprinkled through the field behind their house. It was so pretty, it stuck with me. I guess I’ve always fantasized of someday living in a place like that. Get away from all the hustle and bustle of city living and settle down in a cottage in the country where I can spend my days painting. Raise a dog and a cat and maybe grow some vegetables. You know, something like that.”

“You never struck me as a country girl.”

“I’m not. I just like the idea of it.” You filled two glasses with wine and handed one to Tae before taking a sip from the other. “I think it would be peaceful and pretty. But it’s just a fantasy.”

“It doesn’t have to be a fantasy. Lots of people live that way. My folks are living out on a farm these days. They love country life. I’ve often thought that if I had enough money to do what I wanted, I would buy a place out in the countryside near them. Settle down out there and raise a family in a place where you know all your neighbors and the pace of life is a little slower.”

“That sounds nice.” You smiled wistfully. “Unfortunately, as much as I like the idea, I think I would get lonely. I’m never going to be married and I’m pretty sure my lifestyle would make me the town pariah pretty quickly.”

“How can you be so sure that you’ll never get married?” Tae asked.

“You can’t be serious?”

“But I am serious. You never know what the future might hold.”

“No. In this case, I’m certain. I’m not going to end up in a loveless marriage like my mother or my sister and spend my days putting on a show for the neighbors. I’m not going to sit at home, caged by monogamy, being a model member of society, while my husband is out sticking his dick in any girl who’ll spread her legs for him. No, not me. I’ve got my own life to lead and I don’t want a marriage holding me back from enjoying myself and doing as I please.” Your face was stern and determined.

“Is that what it’s like for you back home? Is that why you date so many people?” Tae blurted out. Knowing this about your family made so much sense.

“You know, I wasn’t sure what to make for dinner. I couldn’t make up my mind if I should cook Korean or Western style food, so I found a recipe for something called Korean Style Pot Roast. I probably shouldn’t have used this occasion to try out a new recipe, but I couldn’t help myself. Why don’t you take the wine out to the table and I’ll plate the food and bring it to you?”

The sudden change in subject was your signal for Tae to drop it. He obediently took the wine and did not mention your family situation again.

Dinner went well. You watched Tae’s face attentively as he took his first bite, sighing with relief when he gave you the thumbs up and told you it was delicious. He didn’t have the heart to tell you the vegetables were too salty and meat too bland. Instead, Tae asked for a second helping and ate it contentedly, smiling to himself at the thought of your toiling in the kitchen.

The conversation was devoid of any of the tension that preceded it. The two of you discussed local politics, movies, and life at work. Tae shared stories of his childhood before he met you and after.

“You know the school bully? The one who tried to torment you when you first arrived?” Tae looked at you to make sure you knew who he was talking about.

“Yeah, I remember her. What’s she doing these days?” you asked him.

“Last I heard, she fell in love with another woman. Her parents sent her to study abroad in Japan and she met some girl over there, came out as a lesbian and never returned to Korea. Her parents were super conservative and disowned her. It’s kinda sad, really.”

“It is sad. I know what it’s like to live in fear of being judged unacceptable by your own family. But as much as I complain about being cast out, I’ve never been completely disowned. Just hidden away and threatened with having my trust fund cut off.” You threw back your head and downed what was left in your wine glass before pouring yourself another.

“Does your family know you are bisexual?” Tae tilted his head, hoping the question wasn’t too personal.

You looked back at him with slight confusion. “They just know I’m a slut. But I don’t know if they know for sure that I mess around with other girls too.”

“You never came out to them?”

“Honestly, Tae, I don’t even consider myself bisexual. I’m just a person who has sex. Mostly with men, but women are fun too. I just do what feels good.”

“So you are straight but just do girls on the side?” Tae was confused.

“Does everything have to have a label? I do what I want, who I want, whenever I want. I’m not really interested in being boxed in like that.”

Boxed in. That term stood out to Tae. He thought about something you said earlier… about not wanting to be caged by monogamy and he wondered why you had such a fear of being trapped. He had so many questions he wanted to ask, but hesitated because he didn’t want to overstep.

“Everything okay, Tae? You are awfully quiet over there.”

“Huh? Oh, I was just wondering if you’ve dated any women since you’ve been in Korea.” He reached across the table to pour himself another glass of wine, only to find the bottle empty.

Standing up to go get another bottle, you replied to his question from the kitchen. “You seem to be very curious about my antics with other women. Is there a reason for that?” You returned to the table and poured him another glass with a wink.

“I don’t know. I’ve heard you talk about other guys but never other girls, so I was just wondering.”

Instead of returning to your seat across the table from Tae, you took the chair next to him. “Finding other women wasn’t exactly a priority when I first got here, but recently I’ve put in more effort. I’m still figuring out all the proper social cues to seduce other women for my kind of fun. Miri just about had a heart attack when I offered to finger her pussy a couple weeks ago.”

Sputtering, Tae tried his best not to choke on the sip of wine he just took. “M-m-miri? The girl you work with? You propositioned her?”

Laughing at the look of surprise on Tae’s face, you had to set your own glass down on the table to keep from spilling it. “Oh my god, you should see how wide your eyes just got! It was a shot in the dark, I’m not surprised she turned me down.”

“I didn’t know you were attracted to Miri.” Tae remembered how you had previously encouraged him to try dating Miri and couldn’t quite reconcile his thoughts.

“Why not? She’s cute. Besides, it’s not like it would be anything serious. We went out drinking after work one night and she got super drunk and was complaining about how all the guys she’s ever slept with have sucked in bed and she doesn’t even know what an orgasm feels like. So I offered to help her. The poor girl is so naive about sex. She needs to know what an orgasm feels like to help her figure out how to get these assholes she sleeps with to help get her there.”

“I, I’m, um, uh, I don’t know what to say to that. Did she freak out?”

“She didn’t really say much of anything. First she just sat there looking stunned and then she burst into laughter and told me I was crazy and to be careful who I say those kinds of things to because people might think I’m a lesbian. Like I said, she’s totally naive.”

“Well, it’s probably for the best. If she said yes then things might have gotten awkward for you guys at work.”

“Why would it have been awkward?” Resting one arm against the table, you leaned over to look directly into Tae’s eyes.

“You know how it is. Sex can really change the relationship dynamic and the two of you would still be working together...and um…” Tae was feeling a little self conscious as you leaned in closer, still looking him directly in the eyes.

“It doesn’t have to be like that. This wasn’t an offer to make love or embark on a grand sexual affair. I was simply offering to help a friend in need. Isn’t helping each other what friends do? If she needed a lift to the airport, or help moving apartments, I would gladly help her out and no one would think anything of it. But in this case she needs help with something a little more personal, something sexual, something that I am perfectly equipped to assist her with.”

You leaned in closer to Tae, so he could feel your breath against his cheek as you spoke. “Imagine it, Tae. If she had simply said yes, I would have slid my hand up her skirt and under her panties. I would have gently parted her pussy lips, running my fingers up the sides of her labia, whispering for her to close her eyes and relax, to imagine whatever or whoever turns her on. I would have tested her hole to see how wet she was, dipping my finger inside for lubrication before dragging it slowly up to that magic little nub at the top of her pussy. I would have carefully rubbed tiny circles around her clit, listening to her breathing, watching her expression, testing to see what she likes most. Maybe she’s one of these girls who prefers slow, soft touches; maybe she prefers hard and fast; maybe she needs me to slide back the hood and stroke her clit directly. Then, once I figure out what she likes, I would stay there, stroking her until I could feel her orgasm, feel that quake beneath my fingers or hear her whimper with ecstasy. And when it was over, I’d tell her to remember that feeling and to make sure next time she’s with a man, to ask him to touch her that way and not settle for anything less. Isn’t that what a friend should do? Be helpful?”

Tae didn’t even realize his mouth was hanging open until he started to salivate at your detailed description of what might have been. “I guess she really missed out.” He was acutely aware of how close you were sitting him him, your hand mere inches from his and he fought the urge to grab your hand and shove it down his pants, begging you to touch him like you described touching Miri. Soft, hard, fast, slow -- it wouldn’t have mattered to Tae. He just wanted to feel you. “I can’t imagine you get turned down very often.”

“It doesn’t happen often, but it happens. Everyone is entitled to make their own choices.” You leaned back away from Tae and stood up. “I’m going to clear this table and bring out dessert. I just got some ice cream, nothing too fancy.”

Trying to shake off the sexual tension, Tae stood up and offered to help. Grabbing an armful of dishes, he followed you into the kitchen. “I can probably wash these up for you really quickly. Where do you keep the dish soap?”

“That’s not necessary.”

“Please. You put in all this effort to cook for me, the least I can do is help clean up.” Tae turned to look at you while you stood in front of the open freezer, rummaging around for the ice cream. The blast of cold air in the warm kitchen caused a mist to float around your torso, drawing Tae’s eyes to your chest and making his take note of the way your nipples seemed to suddenly be visible against the fine fabric of your dress.

“I wasn’t sure what you like, so I got chocolate, strawberry and mango flavors. Which do you prefer?”

Tae was still staring at your breasts when you turned to ask him about ice cream flavors. The question barely registered with him. “Huh? I’m sorry, could you repeat the question?”

You set the containers of ice cream back in the freezer, shut the door, and leaned back against the counter. Tae watched as the expression on your face changed and your trademark smirk crossed your lips as you locked eyes with him. “Do you even want dessert, Tae?” you asked.

“Um… I mean, there’s always room for ice cream.” Tae fidgeted awkwardly under your gaze, unsure of what exactly you wanted him to say.

“I asked because I thought maybe there was something you wanted more than ice cream.” You brushed a stray lock of hair from your eyes before slowly letting your hand fall, tracing a line down your own face, past your neckline, until it rested upon your breast where you carefully rolled the nipple between your finger and thumb. “Do you have a taste for something different?”

Mouth agape, Tae contemplated what he should do next. Of course, he thought, I have an entire list of things I’d rather have than ice cream right now. The question was always how much you might be willing to let him have. Were you still just teasing him or was there a real opportunity for him to be able to have his way with you?

The silence lingered a bit to long and you prodded Tae to respond to your question. “What are you thinking over there? I need you to tell me what you want.”

“You know I want you. I always want you.”

“So why don’t you say it? Why don’t you tell me exactly what you want from me?” You raised your other hand so both hands were now fondling your own breasts, delicately tracing the pointy nubs.

Tae knew what he wanted. He wanted to rush across the kitchen to grab your face in his hands and thrust his tongue into your mouth. He wanted to tear the dress from your body and drag you the floor. He wanted to crawl on top of you, spread your legs and thrust himself into you. He wanted to see you writhing beneath him. He wanted to hear you moan his name. He wanted so many things, but he felt quite certain you had your own plans for what was going to happen and that he would follow along, just grateful for anything you would give him.

“What’s the point in me saying it? You’ll do what you want anyways.”

Your hands dropped to your sides and you straightened your posture. “You’re right that I’ll do what I want. But you still have a say.” You walked across the room to stand right in front of Tae. “Would you prefer I start by telling you what I want?”

You were so close, Tae could smell you. Despite how badly he wanted to be near you, your actual proximity was a little intimidating. All he could do was eke out a barely audible, “Yes.”

“I’ve really been looking forward to tonight, Tae. Not only do I enjoy your company, I was remembering how much I enjoyed that time you ate me out. It’s been longer than usual since I’ve enjoyed the pleasure of a man’s tongue against my pussy. In fact, it’s been longer than usual since I’ve enjoyed an orgasm of any kind - over a week, I think. I’m sure you understand that is an unusually long time for someone like me.”

More than a week since your last orgasm. More than a week. Tae’s mind reeled while he considered what this meant. Three nights ago, you left him at the museum to go meet up with a different man. Does this mean you didn’t have sex with that guy? He had been so sure that you were off fucking this guy. Were you saving yourself for tonight? No, he thought, that couldn’t possibly be true. Maybe you just liked giving this other guy blue balls the same way you had done to Tae before. That seemed the most likely scenario. Still… there was something there. He was desperate for clarification, but didn’t want to spoil the moment.

Your hands gripped the fabric of your knee length skirt, which you had now raised to mid-thigh. “Will you help me end this little dry spell?”

Without a word, Tae dropped to his knees, his eyes fixed to your hemline as you ever so slowly inched it up higher. He held his breath until the pale blue lace of your panties came into view and then he exhaled loudly, gasping a little. They were delicate, the color was so soft and innocent looking until he noticed how sheer they were; the cleft of your pussy lips clearly visible through the fabric. He raised his hands slightly, but hesitated; his hands hovered half-way between the floor and your panties that he had an overwhelming desire to touch. Tae looked up at you for some hint of what he should do next, only to see your sly smirk before you grabbed the back of his head and shoved it between your legs.

“Good boy,” is the only thing you said.

Fingers tangled in his hair, his face pressed tightly against the lace of your panties. What had previously looked so delicate and soft, now was rubbing his cheeks raw with friction. Tae wasn’t sure what thrilled him more, the scent of your sex or the fact that your hand was pressed firmly against his scalp.

He wondered if he could bite his way through the fabric that was now a barrier to the real prize. Your grip didn’t allow him much movement, but Tae was able to tilt his head slightly to the side and stick out his tongue, hoping it would be long enough to catch the edge of your panties and possibly make contact with some skin.

His futile efforts were met with your laughter. “You’re looking a little desperate there, Tae. What exactly are you trying to do?”

“I want... mmmffffmmhhhmm!” His words were muffled as you pressed his head tighter into your crotch. It didn’t matter what he intended to say, because you were in charge, as always.

With your hand still firmly locked in his hair, you started to back away, causing Tae to crawl forward on his knees, following you. As you exited the kitchen, you let go of Tae’s hair and turned to walk more comfortably into the living area. Despite being free to now stand, Tae continued to crawl on his hands and knees, already having accepted that his place tonight was to be below you.

He paused for a moment to glance down the hallway through your open bedroom door to the large, neatly made bed that rested within. Tae wondered what it would take to get invited inside there. Did you allow others inside your actual bed? Who were those people?

“What are you looking at, Tae?” Your voice caught him off guard and when he turned back towards you, he saw you leaning against a table with your dress unbuttoned completely, falling open to expose not just your panties, but the matching blue bra to go with it. How long had he been staring at your bedroom to not even notice you undressing in front of him?

“You look gorgeous,” was all he could eke out.

Letting your dress slip from your body and land in a heap on the floor, you leaned back against the arm of your sofa. “Do you like it?” You slipped your thumbs under your bra straps, slowly drawing them down off your shoulders. “I bought it special for tonight.”

“Yeah. I like it a lot.” That was an understatement. Just the idea that you had been thinking of him while buying lingerie was making his heart beat uncontrollably.

You rolled your hips enticingly and let your thighs fall open slightly, “They say blue is a calming color. Are you feeling calm right now?”

“Not hardly.” The words came out breathy, it was too much effort to speak. All Tae’s focus was on how badly he wanted to touch you.

“That’s a shame. We’ll have to do something about that later.”

Tae nodded vigorously. With a crooked finger you urged him forward to kneel in front of you, eye level with that sheer blue triangle of lace that was barely hiding the prize he sought. Without warning, you pulled your panties to the side, leaving you sex completely bare. Instinctively, Tae leaned forward, mouth open, tongue extended, ready to taste you.

He was disappointed, however, when you stopped him with a pointed finger applied to his forehead, where you pushed him back to his kneeling position. “Not yet” is all you said.

Tae sat obediently on his haunches, drooling and desperate, but completely obedient, while you spread your lips apart with your fingers, exposing the glistening wet flesh, the hood of your clit, the petals of your labia, the entrance to your vagina. “For now, you should just look. I’ll tell you when it’s time to do more.”

Looking was exactly what he was doing. Tae could feel the pulsating throb of his erection trapped under his pants as he carefully studied every curve and fold of flesh in front of him. He knelt obediently in front of you, like a dog waiting for its mistress to give him a treat. Maybe that’s how you saw him too, more like a pet than a man.

The seconds ticked by agonizingly slow while Tae sat on his haunches, his eyes fixed to your sex. His desire grew along with his impatience at being made to wait. “Do you like torturing me like this?”

He hadn’t meant to say those words aloud.

“Is that what you think I’m doing? Trust me when I say that I have done far more torturous things than make a man wait. Besides, you can blame yourself for turning me into an exhibitionist. I like it when you are just looking at me.”

You squatted down until you were eye level with Tae, your hand slipped between your legs and he could hear the soft squish of your fingers pumping in and out of your pussy. Tae tried to maintain eye contact with you, but the sound of you fingering yourself just inches from him was too much to resist. He cast his eyes downward to see what you were doing only to feel you grab on to the hair on the back of his head, pulling down and forcing his face upwards. Tae gasped, his lips parting only to be met by your fingers being thrust inside his mouth.

“Suck,” was all you said.

The salty taste of your juices against your fingers just further fueled his lust. Tae obediently sucked on your fingers, wrapping his tongue around each digit to make sure he didn’t miss a drop.

Leaning forward to whisper in his year, you let go of his hair. “You know, Tae, whenever I’m denying you something, I’m also denying myself that same pleasure. You aren’t the only person who is waiting.”

He wanted to ask you what that really meant, but he was muted by the fingers pressed against his tongue.

“Lay down. I want to ride your face.”

Tae quickly laid flat on his back per your instruction. His legs tingled as the blood started to flow back into them after being on his knees for so long. You stood above him, slipping your panties off before straddling his face and rolling your hips while lowering yourself until you rested just barely above his face.

He inhaled your scent as deeply as he could before he tentatively raised his head enough to brush his lips against the bare flesh of your pussy. The pillowy softness felt good against his face, like kissing a cloud. Raising his head just a little further, he nuzzled himself deeper, parting your slit with his nose, gently brushing against your clit, his lips now firmly planting kisses into the slick soft folds.

He strained to see your face from his place beneath you, but you had your head thrown back, leaving him with only a view of your chin. Tae searched for some clue that he was doing what you wanted, that he was pleasing you. Extending his tongue, he dragged it through your folds until he felt the hard nub of your clit and circled it slowly.

Just then, you lowered your head, eyes closed, your lower lip caught between your lips and your brow furrowed in concentration. This was the first time Tae had ever seen you with such an expression on your face and it spurred him on to try harder. Lapping away at your cunt like a starved man, he flicked rapidly at your clit only to feel you pull away slightly. He changed his technique to a flat tongue, drawing circle eights around the full length of your pussy. You seemed to respond better to that, letting out a soft sigh. Pride swelled in his chest and in his dick, which seemed ready to burst out of his pants.

Remembering the last time he was in a similar position with you, he moved from licking to latching his lips around your clit and gently sucking. This change got you to open your eyes and look at him. “Yes, like that,” is all you said. That was all the encouragement he needed to ignore the growing ache in his neck from the strain of keeping it lifted from the floor and keep going.

Nothing mattered more to him than trying to make you cum on his face. Opening his mouth wider, Tae tried sucking more of your vulva while simultaneously dragging the flat of his tongue against your clit. That seemed to do the trick. You gasped aloud and fell forward on your knees, no longer able to keep yourself elevated above him. Tae’s head fell back against the floor while you pressed your pussy harder against his face. You were on all fours now; if Tae lifted his chin and rolled his eyes as far up as they would go, he could just barely see the undersides of your breasts. Your face was out of view, but he could hear you softly whispering, “Fuck yes. Like that. Just like that,” repeating the words over and over.

Tae’s excitement grew along with yours. Your hips started to grind into him and it felt like you might just smother him. He struggled to catch intermittent breaths as his face was buried deeper and deeper between your thighs. Unthinkingly, he grabbed hold of your backside to steady himself. When Tae realized what he had done, he waited for you to slap his hands away, but you were too far gone in your own pleasure to either take notice or care. So, he let his hands wander over the flesh of your buttocks, squeezing them with abandon and drunk on lust.

When he heard you moan aloud, Tae could feel every fiber of his being start to vibrate. The idea that he caused you to make that sound turned him on more than he thought possible. When you stopped grinding against him and grabbed his hair, pulling him in further, your thighs locking him tightly in place while your legs started to shake slightly, Tae felt like his heart might just explode. He wanted to keep going in an effort to make you come again and again, but you instead pushed his head away and sat back on his chest.

“Fuck. You are really good at that, you know? Thank you.”

Tae smiled. “If you think I’m good with my tongue, you should see what I can do with my dick.”

Laughing, you stood up unsteadily and brushed your hair out of your face. “Feeling a little cocky, aren’t we?”

“Not so much cocky as desperate.” Tae pushed himself up so he was sitting upright on the floor.

“Well, then. Let’s see this desperate dick that you are bragging about.” You patted the top of dining table that the two of you had previously cleared of all the dishes. “Take off your clothes and hop up here.”

Scurrying up to his feet, Tae didn’t pause to think about what would happen next. He simply stripped as quickly as possible and sat on the table in front of you.

“Forgive me for sitting, but you left me a little light headed.” You sat in one of the chairs with Tae’s naked body laid out in front of you like your next meal. “I appreciate the shaving job you’ve done here, you really did the whole thing.’ You leaned forward to inspect his genitals more closely. “It looks like you had a little accident with the razor here. Does it hurt?” You extended a finger to point at the razor burn on his skin when Tae’s dick involuntarily jerked upwards, prompted by the close proximity of your hand.

You laughed aloud. “It looks like someone really is desperate for some touch. Lay back on the table. By the way, I noticed how handsy you got while eating me out - so to keep your hands occupied this time, why don’t you hold on to the back of your thighs and pull your knees up towards your ears.”

Obediently, Tae assumed the awkward position. He felt vulnerable and exposed and wondered if this was what it was like for the many women he had fucked in a similar position -- knees up, spread wide so he had easy access to everything.

He didn’t have much time to consider his discomfort because all thoughts rushed out from his head when you leaned forward, your mouth hovering over his distended cock, and exhaled loudly onto the turgid flesh. The heat of your breath once again caused his dick to jerk wildly and Tae moaned out loud anxious for whatever was coming next.

“Just so you know, I’m not planning on touching your cock tonight.”

“Fuck.” Tae couldn’t hold back his disappointment. “You really do love to give me blue balls. Do you do this to your other friends?”

You stood up and moved to the side of the table so you could look him cleanly in the eyes. “If I gave you everything you wanted right away, there would be no reason for you to come back. And, Tae, I’m not ready for this to end, so I need to leave you wanting just a little.”

There was something so direct and sincere in your words, that it left Tae speechless for a moment. Before he could figure out what he wanted to say in response to that, you were walking away from the table, calling back to him to “Stay in that position, I’ll be right back.”

He listened to the sound of your feet padding across the bare floor as you returned, setting a pair of latex gloves and a bottle of lube next to him on the table.

“Um… what’s that for?” Tae’s heart beat a little faster in his chest as he wondered what kind of kinky sinister plan you had up your sleeve. He already wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to keep up with you, but now he started to worry that you may have something planned that he wasn’t ready for.

“You think I like giving you blue balls? I’m going to make sure you leave here tonight with your balls drained dry. If you are up for it.”

“But how…” Tae was still fixated on the pair of gloves next to him, so he didn’t notice what was happening until he felt it -- your tongue pressed against his balls. He held his head up as much as he could to try to see what you were doing and watched you fondle his balls in your hand while you laved him with your tongue. The whole scene was more than he could process.

“I find it so exhillerating to have a beautiful man all bare and laid out in front of me, his most vulnerable bits available for me to play with. Do you like to have your balls sucked?”

“I don’t know. No one’s ever tried it before. I generally don’t think much about my balls.”

“Silly boy. Always too focused on getting your dick sucked instead, I suppose.”

Tae meant to protest, but was completely distracted by the feeling of his testicles being sucked into your mouth simultaneously. It wasn’t quite like anything he experienced before and he curled his abs to watch the unbelievably lurid sight of you between his legs, you mouth stuffed full of him. He wasn’t sure which turned him on more, the sight or the sensation. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…”

You let his balls drop from your mouth and looked up at him with your lipstick smeared and your hair half covering your face. “You seem to be enjoying yourself.”

Precum was starting to leak from the tip of his cock and Tae couldn’t help but wonder if there would be any way to get you to jerk him off while you played with his balls. As good as your mouth felt against his balls, it made his dick ache all that much more. “I’m definitely enjoying myself, but it just makes me want more.”

“More? Like what?” With that question, you lowered your head again, kissing, licking, sucking at the tender skin over his scrotum.

Your hair fell forward and brushed against his throbbing cock, the delicate tendrils tickling him and causing him to moan aloud. “Hnnnngggghhh! Fuck!” Tae’s head fell back against the table. “I want to cum. Please. I need to. Can’t you just touch my dick? It won’t take much. Please,” he begged.

“Is this not enough?” you asked him, wrapping your lips around one testicle at a time.

“It feels so good, but I need more. Please. If you won’t touch my dick, can I? Please.”

“No. No touching yourself without my permission. You can jerk yourself off to your heart’s content when you get home. Are you asking to go home, Tae?”

“No. No. I just… fuck.” That girl the other night would have sucked him dry, Tae thought. He couldn’t help but wonder why he had turned her away for a woman who would sooner let his dick explode than give him what he wanted right now.

“I have a different idea,” you advised him. Standing up, you reached across the table and grabbed the gloves and lube which Tae had nearly forgotten about. “Do you enjoy having your prostate massaged?”

“Like you sticking your fingers up my ass?” Tae blurted it out nervously. Aside from the very clinical and unappealing prostate exam done by his doctor, Tae had never let anyone close to his asshole before. His body immediately tensed up at the thought.

You noticed his discomfort. “It’s okay to say no, Tae. You always have the right to say no.”

“I don’t want you to hurt me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you either. I want to make you feel good.” You continued fondling his balls while you stood over him, your naked breasts hovering over him, while you spoke. “I have some experience in this area, you know. I want to make you cum so hard that you black out. I want to see that glorious face you make when you are in the throes of ecstasy. I want to leave you a moaning, writhing mess, with every drop of cum emptied from those beautiful balls. And I know I can do that if you let me. But it’s entirely up to you.”

Tae wanted those things too. “You’ll stop if I say so?”

You put on the latex gloves, pulling the material taut and snapping it against you skin so the sound rang out in the silent room. “I’ll stop if you say so. But we’ll go slow and just start with touching you on the outside, okay?” You grabbed the bottle of lube and poured a generous amount on your fingers.

“Okay.” Tae closed his eyes tightly and tried to distract himself by thinking about how you looked just a short while ago with your face pressed against his balls. It was so unexpected and so fucking hot. That image alone would provide him with months of jerk off material when he was home alone.

But as soon as he felt your fingers, cold and wet from the lube, Tae immediately tensed up again -- clamping his butt hole tightly closed.

“You have to relax to make this enjoyable, Tae. I promise you are going to be okay. I’m only stroking you outside right now. Just focus on that feeling right now. Don’t worry about what comes next. If you aren’t ready for it, I won’t do any more than this.”

He could feel your fingers circling his hole, and something pressing against his leg. When he opened his eyes, Tae saw you resting your head against his inner thigh, watching his face with an expression of gentleness that he wasn’t used to seeing. He had fully expected for you to say that his choice was fingers up the ass or go home, but instead you were being gentle and patient. He didn’t know what to make of this.

Looking him straight in the eye, you said, “You’re cute, you know that?”

The unexpected compliment completely threw Tae for a loop. He tried to act unfazed, but he could feel a smile spreading across his face. But the smile quickly turned to surprise when he felt your finger finally slip past the sphincter and press firmly inside him. It felt so strange to be penetrated, unlike anything he had experienced before. Again, before his feelings had fully registered, you went back to kissing and licking the tender skin covering his balls. Tae was reeling.

He wasn’t sure how he felt. Your mouth on his balls felt great, but your finger inside his ass felt… different. He couldn’t say he liked it, but then again, he couldn’t say he didn’t like it either. You poked, prodded, sliding slowly in and out and Tae wondered at all these new sensations. But then, it happened.

You were inside him, rubbing and tapping against something, presumably his prostate. It was odd at first, but as you persisted, the feeling intensified. This felt good. This felt really, really good!

The suckling of his ball sack was so good, but this new feeling building from inside him was unexpected. Different. Tae looked at his dick, laying against his belly, untouched. He was leaking pre-cum like crazy. Almost like you were squeezing it out of him. He was going to cum soon, but his brain couldn’t quite comprehend how this was happening.

He couldn’t help but moan. His body needed to let out the tension of his pending orgasm and it came out in a series of low guttural moans. One after the other. The sound caught your attention and you raised yourself up to look him in the eye. Tae wanted to say something, but he was too far gone and all he could do was whimper.

He saw the change in your expression; your trademark smirk returned. You knew that in this moment you completely owned him. But in a flash, the smirk disappeared and instead you lowered your head once more -- only this time ignoring his balls and sucking his dick into your mouth, latching your lips around the tip, as your fingers continued to gently massage his prostate.

Tae came immediately. The moaning stopped, replaced by gasps and every muscle in his body seemed to contract at the same time. Tae tried to watch you, but his vision grew blurry as the little remaining blood in his brain seemed to rush to his dick. He could feel his balls emptying as his dick spurted over and over and over again in what felt like a never ending stream of his seed spilling down your throat. This was, by far, the longest orgasm of his life.

When it was over, Tae lay on the table, covered in sweat, his muscles still twitching -- not yet able to rest. While he tried to recover, you gathered up your clothes from where they lay on the floor and started to dress.

Tae watched you in confusion and amazement. “That was… I mean… I can’t even express how much…” You turned back to look at him while he spoke and he lost his train of thought. All he could do was look at your face, looking for some hint of how you were feeling.

“I think I got a little carried away with myself there. I’m sorry,” you apologized.

“Sorry for what? I just, um… that was… I’m, uh, I mean… I’m pretty happy with how things have turned out.” Tae felt a little wobbly on his feet as he got off the table.

You smirked again. “I’m usually a woman of my word. I said I wouldn’t be touching your dick tonight, and I didn’t follow through on that. It’s not fair to you when I set an expectation and then break it.”

“Anytime that going back on your word includes me getting my, uh, you sucking me off, um… I’m okay with that.” Tae stumbled over his words as he was still trying to gather his wits about him.

You dismissed his words with a wave of your hand. “I’m sure you have the girls lined up to suck your dick. You could get anyone to do it. It’s not that special.”

Tae paused as he was pulling his pants on. “Honestly, I don’t really have much interest in what other girls want to do to me. I’m only interested in what one girl wants to do with me.”

He held his breath, waiting for your response to his confession.

Instead, you ignored it. “I think I lost an earring in all the fun we were having. Do you see it anywhere?” You turned away from him to search the floor for the missing gold hoop.

Starting to come down from the high of his orgasm, Tae became slightly anxious. “Don’t send me home, just yet. Please,” Tae requested.

“Where is this coming from?”

“I mean, the night is still young. Maybe we can watch a movie like we did that one time. You know, if you feel up to it.” He hoped he wasn’t coming across as too needy, but the idea of separating from you right now was more than Tae could think about right now. He didn’t know exactly what he wanted, but he knew that he didn’t want you brushing him off or sending him immediately away as you had done several times before. He just needed some more time with you.

“Uh, sure. I think a movie sounds good. I’ve got a couple older ones queued up if you want to take a look. I’ve been on a kick, watching the classics of 20th century Swedish cinema if you are into that kind of thing.” You took one look at Tae’s confused expression and offered, “Or we can maybe watch something light hearted and without subtitles if you prefer. You can pick one while I go get dessert. If you still want some ice cream, that is.”

“Ice cream sounds good. You said you had mango?”

After a few minutes, you returned with two bowls of ice cream and settled next to Tae on the sofa to see watch the comedy he had selected.

“I really enjoy our time together,” you informed Tae.

“I like being with you too.”

“But I worry that you might become really disappointed in me someday.”

“Why would you even say something like that?”

“You know that I don’t do monogamy, right? I’m lousy girlfriend material, but I’m actually a pretty loyal friend.”

“I know,” Tae responded.

“I see the way you look at me sometimes, and concerns me. I mean, you make me feel special, but that’s probably not a good thing. I’m not special. I’m a hot mess.”

“What are you even talking about? Your life is a little unique. But that’s okay -- it’s just who you are. And you are a good person.” Tae wondered what was prompting this sudden discussion and hoped it wasn’t an attempt to push him further away just as you were beginning to get closer.

“I’d like to be a good person.” You looked at him wide eyed and for the first time he saw some hint of vulnerability. “Anyways, I’m glad we’re friends.” With that, you turned back towards the television and started the movie. Both of you watched silently, only your spoons scraping the bottom of your ice cream bowls cut the sound of the film.

About two thirds of the way through the film, Tae felt something heavy pressed against him. You had fallen asleep while watching the movie and were now slumped over and leaning against him. Tae’s heart beat a little faster at the inadvertent contact. He carefully repositioned you so that you wouldn’t get a sore neck, but he made sure that your body remained cradled next to him.

Neither of you ever knew how the movie ended. You, because you were fast asleep, and Tae, because he spent the last third of the film watching your sleeping face and listening to the steady rhythm of your breathing. Whispering in your ear, just once, “I’m glad we’re friends too.”

#BTS fic #Taehyung fic #BTS smut #Taehyung smut #V fic #V smut

795 notes · View notes