#but woe. rotten four shenanigans be upon ye

[itsalwaysforyou]

jay: wtf is wrong with mal

evie: uma beat her in fencing lol

mal: she didn’t beat me!!!!!!! i challenged her to best of five 

carlos: and she won all 5?

mal: no i won 2

jay: ok so then she beat you

mal: i won 2!!!!

carlos: but uma won 3????? so you lost

mal: yeah but i still won 2

jay: shoulda done best of 6

jay: at least you could’ve drawn then you sore loser 

mal: ok but i still won 2?

carlos: i’m changing the conversation before i bludgeon mal’s head in 

carlos: e did you duel anyone

evie: i beat some auradon loser

evie: me & lonnie were gonna go next session 

jay: ooooo lmk how it goes

jay: lonnie’s good!!

evie: i know jay i was there on the isle fight

jay: i should fight harry again

mal: you’re always fighting harry

jay: duel him then

carlos: you’re always duelling harry

jay: no with a sword

evie: what kind of sword 

jay: ohhh SHUT UP

jay: i’m going to challenge harry to a duel with a fencing sword. there are you happy now

carlos: no

carlos: be more gay

jay: bitch maybe i will

evie: gods i hate you both

jay: you don’t want me kissing boys?

mal: jay you’re expecting boys will want to kiss YOU

jay: why mal are you jealous are you wanting me to kiss you

mal: i want me to kill you, sure

jay: how nice of you

mal: yeah i’m such a nice person now :) can u believe it

carlos: what is happening

evie: something i don’t want to bear witness to

evie: .

evie: hey mal lost three duels to uma today 

carlos: yo no way?????

mal: hang on

jay: HAHAHHAHAHA

mal: i WON 2!!!!!!!

jay: wow i should duel harry again

carlos: oh really jay. with what

evie: NVM WE ARE NOT GOING HERE AGAIN

carlos: ok but fr can we duel the pirates again soon :(

jay: what kind of duel los

evie: LORD

mal: me & uma have business to settle

evie: you mean losing a best of 5 3-2?

mal: i didnt LOSE i won 2!!!!!!!!

carlos: mal just bc we’re good ppl now doesn’t mean i cant kill you. bc i will

mal: bet

mal: best of 5?

jay: LMAO

evie: i’m actually very curious to know who would win that

mal: me obviously 

carlos: i literally came second place in swords and shields. but go off ig 

mal: you would’ve come third if i had competed 

jay: bc you would come 2nd?

mal: no?? i would obviously beat you???

evie: HAHHAHAHAHAHA

evie: mal. you know i would support you in anything. but you are not being jay in a s&s tournament 

mal: i totally could

jay: ………..

jay: hmmm mal who did you lose to earlier today

jay: three times

carlos: RIGHT 

carlos: not to CHANGE THE SUBJECT or anything but i’m actually craving slop shop coffee rn

evie: that’s the devil talking

jay: isn’t that a good thing?

mal: no it’s a bad thing

carlos: it’s a good thing for people like us

jay: evie can you confirm what your stance on slop shop coffee is 

evie: it’s wicked

jay: wicked in a good way or wicked in a bad way

jay: do you guys understand me. 

carlos: wicked as in reprehensible or wicked as in exceptional

jay: i feel like i’m going insane

mal: what are you all FUCKING talking about

carlos: the complexities and intricacies of changing sociolects 

mal: don’t fucking swear at me

jay: when did this conversation turn into psychological warfare

carlos: isn’t that most convos on the isle

jay: is it evie you’re gonna bludgeon next c?

carlos: yes. and then it’ll be you. and then myself

jay: WHAT DID I DO

mal: lmaoo

carlos: evie is being unnervingly quiet 

jay: YOU DIDNT ANSWER MY QUESTION 

mal: she’s probably preparing to fight carlos when he goes to bludgeon her head in

jay: i don’t even know whose side i’m on here

mal: you’re not on mine

jay: ??????

jay: whose side ARE you on??????

mal: did i lose to uma today

jay: YES

mal: not yours

jay: i genuinely feel like my head is collapsing in

carlos: good

carlos: make it go quicker

jay: ok fine i’m on evie’s side

evie: good choice jay. i have no bad side ;)

mal: all your sides are bad

carlos: how many sides does a person have

mal: what

carlos: you know. like vertices. how many do we have

jay: are we technically spherical??

evie: jay i don’t want you on my side anymore

jay: which number side eves

evie: carlos. proposition 

carlos: being?

evie: we team up against jay

jay: HUH????????

mal: LMAOOOOOO

evie: and mal

mal: HEY

jay: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

carlos: deal

jay: so like. what now. are we going to spar in the gym or something 

evie: no i’m going to kill you in real life

jay: hello??????

carlos: no resurrection in auradon!

mal: bloody hell 

jay: see i fault whatever the fuck this is to carlos bringing up he wants slop shop coffee

jay: no normal person says that

mal: how many times did you steal my slop shop coffee jay

jay: gee mal i’m so incredibly grateful that you allowed me to drink your mud in a cup whilst my father was actively trying to starve me 

carlos: WHAKJSJDLSKSHDKSKD

mal: OH ITS LIKE THAT NOW??????

evie: LORD

jay: anyway

jay: i say we gang up on carlos

evie: i agree

carlos: betrayal????)? MUTINY????????? TREASON AND CONSPIRACY???????????

mal: gods above evie that was brutal 

mal: listen. jay lies for fun,

jay: SKAJDKSLAJDNDLSKSJDKLSKD

mal: don’t pity the man.

evie: oh i don’t pity him in the slightest i just think it’s funny to gang up on carlos 

jay: youre after my own heart eves

carlos: no what the fuck is happening actually 

mal: no e you’re right it’s my favourite past time too

carlos: Hi. Are We Twelve Again

jay: i mean you haven’t grown since we were

mal: you still fight like it

evie: you still look it

carlos: Im Going To Kill You All

mal: didnt you already try that

evie: multiple times

jay: it didn’t work

carlos: do i need to remind you all. there is no immortality in auradon

jay: awwwww carlos is trying to be scary

jay: WJEHAKJHJJEHER NVM JES GROWLING AT ME RN GAJEHRBKEJRHR

mal: you guys are in the same room?????

jay: yeah? are you not?

mal: obviously we are

jay: you’re saying this could’ve been an irl convo?

jay: we couldve saved so much time 

evie: what’s wrong with our texts, jay :)

 jay: nothing at all, evie :)

carlos: u guys meet us here?

mal: wbat no you’re coming to us

carlos: ????? why?????

mal: bc im comfy???? and don’t want to walk??

carlos: ok but IM comfy

jay: carlos is currently dangling his head off the side of the bed.

carlos: as i said,

evie: what about neutral ground 

evie: library?

mal: are you insane why would we hang out at the LIBRARY 

jay: NERD

evie: i am not starting a fight again

jay: that’s a very unusual thing for you to say

evie: i am losing brain cells

carlos: that is worrying

mal: yeah you don’t have too many of them 

evie: more than you!

carlos: yeah mal how many fights with uma did you lose today

mal: i *WON*

mal: TWO

jay: i will throw my fucking phone off the balcony, and then all of you

carlos: not yourself?

jay: do you want to be the first to die

evie: so are we just. not meeting

mal: im not moving

carlos: me neither 

jay: kids these days

jay: always on their damn phones

evie: not like us

evie: getting beaten up

jay: stabbing people

mal: avoiding our insane parents 

carlos: trying to escape from the hell prison island

mal: lol

evie: we are so well adjusted <3 

jay: absolutely nothing wrong with us

mal: im serious abt not moving btw 

carlos: ya me too

mal: fine

carlos: fine

evie: fine

jay: fine

mal: fine

carlos: fine

jay: NO

jay: WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN

mal: you hate fun

jay: i hate YOU

evie: we have to stop having the same conversation like 5 times over.

evie: let’s talk about something else 

#wrote this one months ago but i am in a descendantsy mood rn #you think i would know how to spell descendants by now. i never know if it's ANTS or ENTS #but woe. rotten four shenanigans be upon ye #i did actually come up with silly usernames last year but i couldnt be bothered to keep writing them all out #evie was 4hearts4furious which is probably the funniest thibg ever #and jay was auradons 8th best tourney player #bc of the 8 on his tourney bib :) #anyway #descendants #core four