#but yeah. i feel awful jus knowin shes the one who took most of dat & the one still carryin the memories

[gurorori]

okay very srs vent / trauma dump ahead i seriously advise No1 reads this..

tw for the same described in last rb i am sorry

i apologise for usin this acc for ventin a lot heh i prommy i try 2 keep it silly.. but its more convenient here than on instagram. 🙏

#i know it is an extremely heavy topic but really when i think ab it. it also stays so unspoken abt cuz of this culture of not talkin ab it #its kinda like a he who shall not b named thing #n i of course feel an insane amnt of guilt n shame even tryin 2 bring it up #jts even more terrifyin for someone with did. i didn always know we had this baggage #but certain memories wer shared with me by one of our trauma holders in a flashback & it. it like everythin suddenly made sense #its like. puzzle pieces comin together like Oh so this why we have this. this is why we have survival instincts on top of survival instincts #this is why we r deadly scared of everyone in this household. this is why im so anxious with the. all too feasible idea of ofhers besides #Him bein attracted to us too #idk memories r a blur but suddenly there is a reason dat i realise Why we wer growin up with primal fear n grief instilled when #it comes to family & .. closeness #sure i have my own notions abt it as well havin the exomemories thst i do but. they also mske so much more sense once i learned our #lived experiences #we still live under the same roof with him #its been.. 16-ish years. it started arnd when we wer 4-5 purely judgin off our trauma holders age. shes a little girl. surprisingly quiet #im glad she is warmin up to people (friends & partner) nowadays altho she hasn been arnd for months now.. #i worry but i think her bein away for now is for da best #but yeah. i feel awful jus knowin shes the one who took most of dat & the one still carryin the memories #i remember jus. feelin a deep void for weeks after i got the flashback. its an indescribable feelin my chest honesly hurts as im typin this #but i am glad 2 b sharin this burden as well.. #its weird cuz it started n then ended n its been years of weird uncertainty where its not like we r actively bein abused (by him) but #there wer Moments #gawd jus last year. i remember wkain up2 him on top of me #n iys this weird kind of thing where ya feel yr body violently shake n jolt awake like a literal fight or flight respojse wakin ya up #the only reason he left is cuz i screamedwso loud i woke others up #then later he acted like he was drunk n apologised #i.. did nawt forget #i also will never forget the. actual childhood memories but god they ffeel entirely too disgustin to even put in text #they feel like they r fiction made to specifically awaken most fierce disgust ya can feel #but they r not. how?? #i reached max tags...

[harrywavycurly]

Interview with the Horans!

This is a compilation of questions I’ve received for Niall and Delilah to answer and I did it as if they were sitting down doing an interview, I hope you enjoy and that it helps give you an insight into the lives of the Horans! If you have no clue what I’m talking about Niall and Delilah are from my Insta Story you can find here! 

Q: How did you two meet?

Niall: At an after party of a sports event I believe? She’s gonna kill me if I got it wrong. 

Delilah: Really? An after party? You’re so annoying. We met at a sports event that I didn’t want to go too but my friend Phoebe dragged me to it and I ran into Niall at the bar it was all super casual.

Niall: Ya sure, if ya call her almost knockin me over ta order a bloody drink casual. 

Q: How did you ask Delilah to be your girlfriend? 

Niall: Oh god uh I jus sat her down and asked her if she wanted to be exclusive an she laughed at me cos she was like “who the hell uses the term exclusive? you’re such an old man” dat was probably after we had been on like four or so dates. I jus enjoyed bein round her. 

Delilah: It was super cute, he gets all blushy and adorable. He was nervous and I have no clue as to why, he had already asked to share my calendar with him to see what dates work for us and everything. Like that’s a pretty big deal. 

Q: What’s a normal day in the life like for the Horans?

Niall: nine times outta ten shes up before me, she was like dat even before the girls. She can stay awake till six in da bloody mornin and be up at eight ready to rock n roll. S’a bit disturbin, but our days when M’not on tour are very like every other married couples... jus wit a set of twins.

Delilah: We go on a walk in the mornings, we’ve been doing that ever since I was pregnant, and while on the walk is when we lay out the game plan for the day. So if he has any meetings or anything he’ll tell me so I can plan my day around it. So like yesterday he had a photo shoot for something-

Niall: Cos m’a model now. Just so ya know.

Delilah: Right...so anyway he had his model thing so the girls and I brought him lunch and he was home at a decent time to help with their bedtime routine.

Niall: I feel like we are pretty normal ta be honest like we don’t do a lot of extravagant shit.

Delilah: Not anymore no.

Niall: We were never like jet settin on tons of trips and stuff we’ve always kinda just went from New York to California. We like ta lay low.

Delilah: As low as a former member of one of the largest boy bands in the world can lay....he forgets who he is sometimes. But yes we do kinda just stick to the two places and don’t go out much unless it’s to dinner because I like to eat out a lot. It’s a problem that I’m working on. Oh and Niall likes to go to parties without me but that’s not typically part of a normal day in the life of us.

Niall: M’not even gonna go der wit you.

Q: Speaking of parties, Delilah it’s pretty obvious you don’t like being left at home while Niall goes and has fun.

Delilah: Yeah he’s an asshole. He met Post Malone while I was at home trying to get comfy with my damn pregnancy pillow! And him and Shawn just are super annoying when they get drunk together. But I don’t mind him having his bro time and going out without me, I just like being dramatic.

Niall: Yeah m’da worst at like tryin ta plan parties and invitin her cos half the time they are so last minute and I know she does not do last minute.

Delilah: No I need at least four hours to prepare myself to be around people and to like get dressed and all that not so fun stuff. 

Q: Who said I love you first?

Niall: She did. During an argument matter of fact, it was pretty memorable. 

Delilah: I said it during a moment of passion Niall James not a full blown argument. it was like a “God why do I have to love you so much?” Don’t make it sound so dramatic. 

Niall: M’pretty sure yelling it in the middle of a “passionate argument” is the same as jus sayin it in an argument babe but okay. 

Delilah: It’s totally different, you’re just a dumb boy you wouldn't understand.

Q: Rumor has it you two broke up briefly while Niall was on tour just after releasing Flicker. Is that true? 

Delilah: Yes it’s true. Couples take breaks. Look at Ross and Rachel, it worked out fine for them. 

Niall: Really ya gonna bring Ross and Rachel into dis? They suffered fo a few years before actually bein happy...

Delilah: I mean are you upset that I forgave you too soon? 

Q: Why did you two break up?

Delilah: Yeah Niall why did we break up? 

Niall: Yer such an arse. Uhhh can we skip dis one? We’re allowed like one skip right? 

Delilah: Nope. The people want to know and you always say you’re a man of the people. 

Niall: I cheated. Next question please. 

Q: What songs on Flicker are about Delilah?

Niall: None of em. 

Delilah: Did you hear that world? I was not the muse for that sad ass album so stop blaming me for breaking this man’s heart. 

Niall: Slow hands is bout her I guess, it was written after a date wit her to a bar so yeah, slow hands s’bout her. 

Delilah: I'll allow that one. 

Niall: Oh and So Long. But that’s not on the album so...but most of the songs I didn’t necessarily write wit anyone in mind more of an emotion I wanted ta get across. 

Q: When the two of you were dating who was the best at keeping in touch with the other?

Niall: She was at first then I’d say it was pretty even once we got a bit mo serious. We always had a good long chat at the end of each day tho no matter if we only exchanged two texts throughout the day.

Delilah: In the beginning I was just nosey and wanted to know what he was doing all the time. Then I realized he legit is either in the studio or he’s playing golf or at some sort of event. We still do the phone call each night when he’s away. 

Q: What’s something you love about each other? 

Niall: Easy! Her love of life, she is someone that ya jus wanna be around cos she will make ya smile and makes ya ten times happier jus being in the same room as her. 

Delilah: Awe you’re so sweet! I honestly love the fact Niall will never tell you anything just because he knows you want to hear it, he doesn’t sugar coat things and I know that sounds odd to like love that about someone but it’s just refreshing. I love knowing that if I ask him for his opinion it's going to be 100% honest and how he truly feels and sometimes it makes me want to smack him but mostly I just appreciate what he has to say. 

Niall: Oh an I love her laugh. 

Delilah: Niall also has a very nice ass so you can put that down as something I love as well. 

Niall: Delilah Grace...m’not arguing though.

Q: So Niall this is mainly for you, how has it been dealing with how often Delilah posts about your private life since normally you like to keep that to yourself.

Delilah: Ohhhh good question!

Niall: I don’t mind it really, s’not like she posts pics of me doin anythin scandalous. I think she shows another side ta me dat the fans enjoy, it shows them dat I’m like I always say, a normal guy wit jus an abnormal job. Also her captions are jus...somethin else she has such a way wit words.

Delilah: He laughs so hard at the photos I post of him looking annoyed. He loves those the best.

Niall: I’d also say she’s da reason my posts have gotten a bit more personal. She’s helped me realize dat my Instagram an twitter doesn’t have ta jus be all Niall Horan the musician. The fans and everyone wanna jus get ta know me.

Delilah: You’re welcome world.

Q: So you two have been married for almost a year now right? What’s been the best part of being married?

Delilah: I get lots of free stuff, it’s pretty freakin great if I’m being honest. 

Niall: Ignore her, yes we’ve been married almost a year now, hard ta believe s’only been a year. 

Delilah: I mean having the girls seemed to take up a big part of the year so I’d honestly say the best part of being married so far is just knowing he’s fully mine now and I get to be in his life forever. Sounds lame when I say it out loud.

Niall: I think the best part is jus knowin that she’s there. Like she always has my back on anythin an bein able to point to her an be like “oh dats my wife.” I enjoy that quite a lot if m’bein totally honest wit ya. 

Q: So the twins they are adorable by the way, what was your initial reaction when you found out you were having twins?

Niall: I absolutely almost shit myself it took me completely off guard.

Delilah: Same! But really I was kinda hoping I was having twins because lord was I getting huge kinda faster than I had anticipated.

Niall: It’s also in the long run good cos we only wanted two so like boom! One an done is what they say right?

Delilah: No one says that about kids you weirdo.

Niall: S’for sure a thing people say even bout kids. 

Q: Who takes care of the kids more?

Delilah: Me, just because Niall has a job while I stay home all day in my sweatpants eating.

Niall: Obviously it’s Delilah, she is an actual angel fo everythin she does for the girls and myself even. An jus fo the record she doesn’t wear sweatpants all day, she eventually puts like dem leggin type pants on.

Delilah: Thanks honey. 

Q: So Delilah what would you do if you came home to Niall asleep on the couch when he’s supposed to be watching the girls?

Delilah: It depends. If the girls are also asleep I’d probably cry at how cute they all look passed out.

Niall: Dey are way cuter dan me when they’re alseep.

Delilah: But if he’s asleep and they aren’t...oh hell will be raised in the Horan house. I’d probably smack him with a throw pillow and never let him live that moment down. Like even Shawn hasn’t fallen asleep while watching the girls yet and he’s only watched them after they are asleep so Niall and I can go have dinner alone. 

Q: So is Shawn The Godfather?

Niall: Did he tell you to ask dat?

Delilah: He’s one of them yes.

Niall: We have two godfathers and two godmothers.

Delilah: We are just extra like that, don’t even ask why. 

Q: Last question, how have you handled the fans response towards your relationship? The overall response seems to be everyone pretty much adore the two of you.

Niall: Oh it’s been great really, only a few people here an there have some shitty remark ta say but it’s always something stupid.

Delilah: I think after the first two years it just switched and it’s been for the most part pretty nice. I think at first the fans just didn’t know how serious this was going to be and everyone legit loves Niall so they wanted to make sure I was worthy of him. But I mean we’ve been together for so long now that they’ve fully accepted me.

Niall: Dey have realized she’s not goin anywhere. I mean she met me when I was still in One Direction like jus before the hiatus so she’s been through a lot wit me and the fans love er.

Delilah: Diall till death.

Niall: Oh yeah dats our Uh..what they call it? Ship name? Diall!

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