#but you know that specific element is still something im gonna struggle with forever especially since without academics now

[foulserpent]

dont rebl0g

ok not to stir the pot for no reason but i was thinking about ‘gifted child syndrome’ and why i am literally never convinced with the sincerity of posts about it and its like i need to get my thoughts out so i can have something else to hyperfocus on while im bored at work

i think the reason it always, ALWAYS bothers me is that it kind of just buys into the narrative and system its supposed to critique

like i (usually) believe when people say they dont think theyre better than their peers but then like, theyll go on to be like ‘ogghh i used to have a COLLEGE READING LEVEL’... ‘auuu i got such good grades and was in all the advanced classes’ or the one that makes me actually smack you ‘people with high IQs are more likely to get depressed’ and etc etc. 

which like. ok. you actually DO kind of believe you used to be smarter and better than your peers, and i do think that sometimes it is kind of egoism. not your fault, thats the product of the abusive system we’re talking about. but you have to accept that you like. werent. you performed well within suffocating academic constraints and so were nurtured more than your peers for it, which is also something that tends to be more available to some people than others due to institutionalized racism, classism, ableism. like the reason you were treated as ‘gifted’ is because your peers were made to be the contrast due to inability to perform in semi-arbitrary capitalist constraints and/or due to being marginalized

so like. just drop the idea that you were ever ‘gifted’ in the way schools tell you you were. doesnt mean you should feel guilty about it or cant feel pride at your accomplishments but recognize that what set you apart from your peers was not your own Giftedness but like because others were made to fail, and then your Gifted Kid Downfall is because this system fucking sucks and gives you high expectations and crushing pressure and then  throws you to the wolves bc highschools dont see a reason to invest in you as much since you arent the football team

and also ive said this a lot but you need to actually have empathy for the people who your ‘giftedness’ was set against and understand fully that you arent the only one who suffered, and just how crushing it is to constantly get the message from the beginning of ‘you dont perform well academically so youre worth less than your gifted peers’. if you do really actually care about changing the system that produced your gifted kid syndrome, you have to accept you werent “gifted” in the ways you were told and your worth is more innate than that, as is that of your “ungifted” peers

edit:

#of course theres a lot of complexities to this like a lottttttttt of 'gifted' kids are autistic which introduces a new element to #the pressure like #for me i definitely experienced that like being successful academically was a way to kind of save myself from ableism i recieved #like its both a specific drive to be one of those Good Smart High Functioning autists and also a survival method #still doesnt mean i was better than everyone else or than other autistic kids! and like personally i have #LOOONGGGGGGGGG since gotten over the specific 'gifted kid syndrome' stuff bc i was like wait this is stupid #but you know that specific element is still something im gonna struggle with forever especially since without academics now #that ive graduated theres no additional line of defense for me to be High Functioning under #so i think its helpful to examine your personal relationship to this stuff and go from there

[adhdted]

no one asked but heres a list of bnt fics im working on. also with excerpts :) under the cut bc it got a little bit long but its really not That long its only six wips.

california friends. 

its the au! you know the one i talk abt sometimes. its basically ted moves away when hes 11, they meet back up with theyre 19 and there are some plot elements from excellent adventure and bogus journey in there. currently im working on the 4th chapter and its got like. 16k words so far.

title from california friends by the regrettes and is subject to change..

    “Hey, Jo,” he says when he gets over to her, “did you see that dude that just left?”     She looks up at him. “I think you’re gonna have to be more specific than that, dude.”     “Oh, right. He looked like this.” As he says this, Ted realizes that he has no way to show her what maybe-Bill had looked like and quickly backtracks. “Wait, no, I mean – he had the most curly blond hair and–”      He struggles to think of an adequate way to describe his face. He doesn’t think he could, with the little amount of time he’d had to look at him. He still tries to think of something, nonetheless, and finds his mind wandering to a trip his twelfth grade art class had taken.     “Have you ever gone to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art?”     Joanna raises an eyebrow and nods.     “Okay, so you know the ancient Greek section?”     “Yeah...”     “He looked like that.”     “Like the ancient Greek section of the art museum.”     “Yeah. You know, like the statues in it?”

untitled trans ted fic

no proper name yet u_u. what it says on the name its just like. ted is trans and life happens. working on the 2nd chapter. 3.8k words so far.

    They start working, but Ted finds that he's having a hard time focusing. Harder than usual, that is. And it isn't music or TV that's distracting him, but Bill.     Finally, he finds himself asking, "How'd you know how to say that?"     Bill looks up from his textbook. He'd been frowning down at it but now his expression lightens. "What? Oh, what I said to Deacon? I just said what you told me."     Ted stared at him. "I said that?"     "Yeah, dude."     "Huh... Hey, I'm pretty smart!"     "Undoubtedly!"     They air guitar together, grinning and Ted feels really good about this. He's so, extraordinarily glad he has Bill by his side.

i’ve got a castle in my sky for you and i.

sequel to that oneshot i posted! basically just bill, ted and missy driving around. 1.6k words so far.

title from pretective boy by skating polly because im unoriginal yea.

    But then Bill smiles. It’s a lopsided, sleepy smile and Ted can’t help thinking about how beautiful he is with the growing sunlight coming in through the window and the dingy motel behind him.     “Oh, right,” he says and lets out a contented sigh. “What time is it?”     “Like, eight, I think,” Ted tells him. He nudges him a little with his shoulder.     “Come on, Missy already went in to book us a room.”

dude, take a picture!

oneshot about bill picking up photography! 1k words so far.

    Missy gets him a Polaroid camera for his half birthday, although he doesn't think half birthdays are actually a thing or that his is in July. She shrugs this off with a, "Close enough." That's a good enough answer for Bill, who sets out to Ted's house with the camera in the little black bag it came in.    Ted grins when he opens the door and says, "Dude, finally!" before shouting a quick goodbye to Deacon and closing the front door. “So where to, my most distinguished colleague?”    “I have something most righteous to show you.” Bill grabs Ted’s hand to pull him down the street. He doesn’t really need to because Ted would follow anyways, but he’s excited to show him his new camera and actually put it to use.

untitled fic

umm uh this one is me projecting KHBSKGHBSG oneshot about ted having psychosis yea :) starts with bill and ted meeting in kindergarten and goes on. 750 words so far.

     It's in alphabetical order, apparently, and that's believable enough when Jack sitting beside Ted tells him his name and Tiffany, across from Jack, is obvious, but then across from Ted is Anna and he's pretty sure A and T aren't next to each other (they're called the A-B-Cs, not the A-T-Js).     They play the introductory games Ms Hill tells them to until lunch. Ted thinks he's getting along pretty well, but Jack and Tiffany and Anna all sit and talk with other people in the cafeteria.     So he sits at the edge of the table with his legs kicking under the cheap plastic seat. He's just about to start picking at his tray of food when someone slides into the seat across from him and says, "Hey, dude!"

untitled lost boys crossover

basically bill falls out of the phone booth while its travelling, ted finds him in 1987 santa carla. also deacon is there bc a) i like the idea of him moving in with bill and ted while hes still in high school and b) i want him to befriend sam. working on the first chapter. 2k words so far.

     “What does that mean?” he asks because he doesn’t want to jump to the ‘he’s dead’ or ‘he’s gonna be trapped in the circuits of time forever’ conclusions.     “Well, when I talked to Rufus, he said that he should have just landed in a different time. So it’s not... we shouldn’t worry. He’s looking to see if he can find anything that can help us find him, but we will find him. Nothing to worry about...”     “Oh.”     Deacon has never met Rufus, but from the way the four of them talk about him, he’s pretty sure he’s a smart guy who knows things, so he thinks he’ll stay in the not too worried lane, especially since Ted is definitely freaking out enough for ten people even with assurance from the future that it’ll work out.

#op #my writing #bc of the excerpts u kno