#byers believes the homophobic rhetoric and thinks he's disgusting for being gay and hates himself for it and wants to be different.

[bylertruther]

me saying will does not hate himself for being gay =/= me saying will is somehow magically not affected by homophobia or the abuse that he's endured his entire life because of it. nor is it me saying that he has never once had doubts or negative feelings/thoughts about his sexuality and what it's made of (and will make of) his life.

intrusive thoughts are normal. no marginalized person can go through life without ever experiencing them or any of the other things that come with being discriminated against. it's impossible, unless you live in a bubble in the middle of nowhere untouched by society.

will isn't a super confident character. we've seen that multiple times and it is literally a plot point more than once lol. i'd be shocked if there are people who have been in similar positions that haven't ever felt weird, different, or down in the dumps for how they're treated for things they can't control. we've watched will suffer with being different on-screen. i know that he's felt bad for being a freak that gets babied by everyone.

i still don't think that that is indicative of internalized homophobia.

internalized homophobia, as in self-hatred over being gay, as in actively believing the negative stereotypes about yourself and thinking that there is something wrong with you because of your sexuality.

not internalized homophobia, as in "wow, being gay is hard" or "wow, this aspect of myself means i have to be careful around other people" or "wow, being this way is making my upside down-related alienation even worse". those are normal things to experience and go through. he's some poor nerd in the middle of nowhere, midwest, usa, in the eighties. nowhere did i ever say he wouldn't feel those things.

but hating himself for being gay? actively hating himself? as is suggested by my post, where i state that multiple times? i just don't think so. i explain myself multiple times, but i don't think his actions suggest hatred. he wouldn't lean into it if he hated it.

i never said will was the happiest, most confident guy in the entire world and that he's 100% self-assured in his sexuality and never experiences anything negative because of it. i just said that i find the canonical evidence for self-hatred over his sexuality, aka internalized homophobia, to be lacking.

#sorry but...... every weird kid dyke or not experiences tht alienating I'm Different feeling. i'm talking abt people who say that will #byers believes the homophobic rhetoric and thinks he's disgusting for being gay and hates himself for it and wants to be different. #i'm not talking about the normal experiences of every gay person ever. i'm talking about internalized homophobia. and how will would not #make artwork for his crush where he's got a heart on him + confess his feelings to him + claim alan turing to be his hero + never change #if he hated being gay and hated himself for it. will is a sad kid sometimes. he tells us himself when he says he sometimes feels like a #mistake. but he said it himself: SOMETIMES. we All get negative thoughts and have to carry what was done to us and think before #we tell someone we're gay. that is very different from self-hatred. will didn't look troubled in lenora. i highly doubt he was hating #himself lmao AND IF HE HATED HIMSELF FOR THIS THEN WHY WOULD THE DUFFERS SAY THEMSELVES THAT WILL WANTS #TO GET THIS OFF OF HIS CHEST AND MAKE HIMSELF UNDERSTOOD. WHY WOULD HE WANT TO REVEAL AND SEEK UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTANCE IF THIS IS SOME #THING HE HATES. WE'VE SEEN HIM HIDE THINGS AND FEEL ASHAMED OR EMBARRASSED BEFORE. HE HAS NOT BEHAVED #THAT WAY WITH HIS GAYNESS. SO WHERE IS THE SELF-HATRED. #caps for emphasis not because i'm yelling btw. #but anyway! #mine