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bllsbailey · 2 months

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NYPD News Absolutely Roasted For Confiscating a ... (Checks Notes) ... 'Final Fantasy' Weapon

As New York City authorities let crime run rampant, we can rest assured that they are keeping us free of the scourge of … Gunblades. That’s right, you no longer have to be afraid of being attacked by a person bearing a gun that is also a sword. This is from the official NYPD News feed on The Social Media Site Formerly Known As Twitter (‘TSMSFKA Twitter’):

— NYPD NEWS (@NYPDnews) March 2, 2024

Of course, the nerdier observers (like this author) immediately thought of Final Fantasy VIII’s iconically silly Gunblade wielded by Squall Leonhart. Here’s a post that shows the weapon with our protagonist:

Square-Enix explains why now's the time for Final Fantasy VIII Remastered, and looks back on the Gunblade prop they used for motion capture https://t.co/wwi5HrX6P0 pic.twitter.com/B8cgNxqjA6— GoNintendoTweet (@GoNintendoTweet) July 14, 2019

That’s right, it’s a giant revolver with a giant blade as part of the barrel. No, it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but if you’ve ever played a few Final Fantasy games, you are used to this kind of impracticality in their weaponry.

Was his name Squall? pic.twitter.com/oWa1kPHcVg— Dan Stilwell (@realdanstilwell) March 2, 2024

The ringleader remains at large pic.twitter.com/oPDDY934jC— Author John A. Douglas (@BlkCrownAuthor) March 2, 2024

That would be Sephiroth, the main villain of Final Fantasy VII, not VIII. Indeed, are we sure this whole story isn’t all just an elaborate hoax to either promote the recently-released game Final Fantasy VII Rebirth or to build a groundswell for a Final Fantasy VIII remake?

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Did he remember to press r1 as the strike lands with the gunblade to do extra damage? pic.twitter.com/IrcpeIdsV4— Reno McDallas (@RenoMcDallas) March 2, 2024

squall, noooo!— David L. Bowman (@davidlbowman) March 2, 2024

Video footage of the perp? pic.twitter.com/s48rjwnKaP— Will McEllen (@willmcellen) March 2, 2024

Pretty sure that's a gunblade from the videogame Final Fantasy VIII pic.twitter.com/Q3b3RZ2uJk— matt (@matt_from_az) March 2, 2024

Right?

Delete this tweet while there’s still time. How embarrassing 😂— Columbo 🔍 (@Columbo_X) March 2, 2024

Indeed, some people Googled around and found where you can buy it on Amazon:

Good thing you are arresting people for having toy guns while you let illegal aliens who assault police go free. pic.twitter.com/ykzrknpMgT— Brick Suit (@Brick_Suit) March 2, 2024

Took me 5 minutes to find this on Amazon by using the photo you provided. pic.twitter.com/GtcQ2mTKLU— RinAldrin (@RinAldrin_Lives) March 3, 2024

And allegedly on a similar site:

it doesnt even look real pic.twitter.com/OLaCnexe3Z— FiNaL ReVeLaTiOn (@RevelationFinal) March 2, 2024

We don’t know about that second site, but we found the Amazon listing and it verifies what you might have suspected: The gun part is fake. But a reasonable person might ask: What about the sword part? Like … could it cut you?

Well, we would have to actually lay hands on it to be sure, but several amazon reviews says that the blade is genuinely sharp, suggesting the people be careful with it. Yet, as we were writing this, TSMSFKA Twitter’s resident Final Fantasy fangirl (and Senior Editor for the Daily Wire) Ashe Short provides this report:

I actually own this same weapon. Gun doesn’t work. It’s a decent large knife but not very sharp. Can buy it at the renaissance fair— Ashe Short (@AsheSchow) March 3, 2024

We respect her enough as a journalist to trust her claims.

This has to be a parody account…lol https://t.co/VMJt6zQAVv pic.twitter.com/XgEgKr2qmA— Firearms Policy Coalition (@gunpolicy) March 3, 2024

The ratio on this tweet. 🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/9UjjAhLm9B pic.twitter.com/2OfZG6ghqb— 🏴‍☠️🦝ᴛʀᴏʟʟ ᴅᴇᴍᴏɴ ᴛʀɪꜱʜ ™🦝🏴‍☠️ (@Starlakitty) March 3, 2024

This antique revolver is off the streets guys. You’re much safer. 🙄 https://t.co/1j8DyAdKwL— Phil Labonte, Talent Terrorist (@philthatremains) March 2, 2024

To be fair, it is not a genuine antique, because we're pretty sure no one actually used a dumb thing like this for real and they definitely didn’t use it long enough ago for any version of it to be an ‘antique.’

who wants to tell them https://t.co/q0YkGJTMh6— drefanzor memes (@drefanzor) March 2, 2024

We all do.

This item—apparently fairly sharp as a sword but not a firearm—is available on Amazon for $44.99 https://t.co/8OWCmBh8q2 https://t.co/LxPYzi6HVx— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) March 3, 2024

Free my boy squall he did nothing wrong https://t.co/EN7ioDNfni pic.twitter.com/4VPZKCUgqf— Reiko✝️ (@Hondachan69) March 2, 2024

It's always nice to see the NYPD is using its $5.4 billion budget to focus on important things, like arresting Final Fantasy cosplayers https://t.co/Gamvwo0mgX— Robert Skvarla (@RobertSkvarla) March 3, 2024

Thank God the cops stopped him before he could try to collect the $$60 billion bounty on Vash the Stampede. https://t.co/P5A4F5aGjI— Trekkie Bill (@trekkiebill) March 3, 2024

Yeah, we are not nerdy enough to know who Vash the Stampede is.

The man was just farming draw points for his GF. Cut him a break. https://t.co/8lYLQYv5oC pic.twitter.com/AVDrU5u6Ro— Maverick (@MaverickLIVE_) March 2, 2024

But we are nerdy enough to know that this gif has Tifa from Final Fantasy VII and Yuna from Final Fantasy X in the background—maybe from a crossover like Dissidia Final Fantasy NT? *Pushes up glasses*

— Progress(ive)ing to Insanity (@BrokeHrtLiberal) March 2, 2024

Which final fantasy is this https://t.co/LGV1lJfr2c— Rob Romano (@2Aupdates) March 2, 2024

You don’t know? Okay, we are taking away your nerd card, Rob.

It’s a bigger crime that Everybody Loves Raymond is on TVLand. https://t.co/MxYygqAuYb— Freedom and Liberty for All🏴 (@trueLiberalist) March 3, 2024

We feel like we are getting off topic …

Where do you put the bullets, you ignorant pigs? https://t.co/5zInKvIfSF pic.twitter.com/dNcwciCUjf— 🌻 Saisons 🍉 @[email protected] (@AMan4AllSaisons) March 3, 2024

The Anti-FF8 bias displayed by the NYPD is disgusting and should be defunded immediately. https://t.co/xXD5A8NnKe— Trent the Koalamydia King (@KoalamydiaKing) March 3, 2024

I know a guy in Queens with a Super Soaker if you wanna raid his apt...— Patrick (@patrickwnTX) March 2, 2024

Don’t give them ideas.

Hahaha! Y’all even zip tied like it’s a real firearm. HAHAHAHA!— Ophis Ouroboros (@OphisOuroboros) March 2, 2024

Thanks so much officers. That appears to be one of those multi purpose killing machines which can fire 800 rounds a minute, all while slicing a head clean off with one swipe— BrunoNation (@TonyBrunoNation) March 3, 2024

Justice Jackson can confirm.

Checks out. Standard issue FBI sidearm.— Mark Noble //.// (@marknoble) March 3, 2024

Badge totally looks real, too. *laughs*

I’ve heard of satire accounts but this is a satire police department. NY is so screwed.— TeslaTimeWarp (@TeslaTimeWarp) March 3, 2024

Thank you for making our streets safer. My great great grandfather died to a gun just like this in a duel outside a Saloon.— Edgar Friendly (@RealEdFriendly) March 3, 2024

Is that a blunderbuss?— 🤡🌎 (@BeatrixG99) March 3, 2024

Well, it is a blunder …

Arresting steampunk cosplayers for having toy guns is the best way to clean up all the crime on the streets!— Aldous Huxley's Ghost™ (@AF632) March 3, 2024

“but your honor look how cool it is. and the custom cover??? you simply can’t be mad about this.” -me as this individual’s lawyer https://t.co/oVcCgpmuWF— Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq. (@clapifyoulikeme) March 2, 2024

A solid legal argument if there ever was one. (No, not really.)

Finally:

It's going to be embarrassing when they have to give it back.— Brandon Brown (@BrownBrandon503) March 2, 2024

We legitimately wonder if they will end up having to give it back. But it is certainly a silly confiscation and a terrible use of their resources—even if the dude is on probation. Unless this guy was actively threatening people with it, or something like that, they should have just let it go. And they certainly shouldn’t be bragging about the confiscation.

***

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joemuggs · 5 years

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Making Arrangements

Was just having a discussion about the under-appreciated art of the arranger in the best pop music, and remembered this interview I did for The Word magazine back in 2012. It was never online, so here...

Chris Elliott was used to difficult sessions. Conducting strings for the Sugababes, he'd had a stand-up row with the producer, much to the orchestra's amusement. A frazzled Rufus Wainwright insisted on singing him every part of an avant-garde arrangement; “by the time he reached the fifth viola part,” says Elliott, “I wasn't sure if he was Mozart or a lunatic.” But for Amy Winehouse's Back to Black he had a new challenge. The endlessly jet-setting Mark Ronson stopped by to give him a few pointers a couple of days before the recording session; “Oh and by the way,” said Ronson as a Columbo-like afterthought as he whisked out again, “Amy hates strings.”

What this really meant was that Winehouse loathed the easy-listening schmaltz that she associated with lavish string arrangements, and thus Elliott was forced to strip back his plans and re-consider the value of every note. As so often in music, the constraints drove his creativity: the spare, brooding parts he created contribute in no small part to the unique brilliance of the album, and helped set the global stage for a new generation of torch singers from Adele (with whom he's also worked) to Lana Del Ray.

It wasn't just necessity that was the mother of invention, though. A complex set of strands in Elliott's career, and in popular music's relationship to the orchestra, led up to this point. His entry into the world of composing and arrangement came in the mid-1990s, following a stint in experimental electropop band Bushido then time in music college, but his first exposure was during childhood in 70s – the high-water mark for ostentatious orchestration.

Some of this stuck with him. Bowie's “Life on Mars” remains, he says, “perfect: way the notes tumble downwards between phrases, for example, keeps the song on edge and to this day sounds incredibly modern. By all accounts it was worked out by Bowie on the fly during the session, which very few would have the guts, or the budget, to do now.” The strength of Elton John's “Your Song”, in contrast, is in “how subdued it actually is – in a ballad like that you might expect the strings to take off and 'soar' but they always stay low, which really amplifies the melancholy sense of being trapped by circumstances.”

However, the 70s also brought “far too many people doing too many drugs and over-reaching themselves,” he says drily. “While I love the something like the Debussy influence that comes in on Nick Drake's ‘River Man’ – and incidentally I like to think that he liked it too, whatever the rumours say [it's been said that Nick Drake didn't like Robert Kirby's arrangement of his song] – all too often it got like Roy Harper ‘Me and my Woman’, where it feels intrusive, like the string parts are tacked on because it's the thing you're supposed to do, and really not part of the song.”

As with so much of the cultural excess of that decade, a kind of embarrassment set in. The 80s “were, it's fair to say, not glory years for arrangers, apart from Trevor Horn, who always did exactly what he wanted.” Synthesisers were dominating, often with powerful effect: Elliott holds the Das Boot theme as an example of the arranger's art transposed to the new technology. “The fact those strings are synthetic makes it sound so modern,” he says, “and I think even more scary and inhuman.”

Paradoxically, though, it was technology that brought back the orchestra in the 1990s, via the back door of sampling. “You'd get people who were not necessarily musically trained but were DJs, and so they'd find source material wherever they could. And then the more ambitious ones would then want to replicate the orchestrations that they'd sampled, or create new ones, and you end up with something like [Massive Attack's] 'Unfinished Sympathy' with that amazing part at the end where the two string lines climb up over each other. It's a simple trick in some ways, going up and up to continually intensify the emotions – but when it's combined with the percussion they used and that vocal, it becomes something very special.”

The magpie impulse in the hip hop mentality also often meant going back to films and film themes “from before the time when pop songs started taking over soundtracks. It became normal to reference Morricone or Bullitt or John Barry. Portishead's 'Sour Times' is the perfect example of that, with this repeated, descending line that is all about suspense, and really clever use of the dulcimer or cimbalom, which you'd hear in something like The Ipcress File as a way of evoking Russia, and from that all the dread and fear of the Cold War – with Portishead it's a kind of dark nostalgia for that era.”

All of this lead to a 21st century where, as far as Elliott is concerned, stylistic influences are there to mix and match as appropriate. Whether in Sugababes, Wainwright, Winehouse, the playfully reworked pop songs of the Moulin Rouge soundtrack – which he scored and arranged with Marius de Vries – or the seriousness and directness of Adele's “Turning Tables”, his palette is broad to say the least. And this, he says, is cause for celebration. “Popular music is so very diverse now that the industry can't enforce a single trend. It'll be great if the success of Adele and Amy encourage more sophisticated arrangements, but really I'm just happy we're not in anything like that boyband era which was forced on us, with this one fixed idea that high strings come in to signify 'the emotional bit' of the song.”

#arranger #orchestra #soundtracks #pop #pop music #songcraft

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thegloober · 6 years

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How to get over a breakup like a boss

New research has found that a broken heart can actually kill you. Healthista turned to hypnotherapists Zoë Clews and Paul Gibson to get their top tips for getting over a breakup

It’s confirmed. Not only does a broken heart make you miserable, it can physically damage your body.

A study at Rice University revealed that people who had recently lost a loved one had significantly higher levels of bodily inflammation than those who had not, which can have detrimental effects on the body.

So what’s the best way to deal with it? We spoke to hypnotherapists Zoë Clews and Paul Gibosn to get their advice on handling a break up like a boss.

Turns out, crying into a tub of ice cream whilst stalking you ex- on Instagram may not be the most useful way forward…

Everyone remembers the time someone broke up with them. It’s an experience unlike any other we’ll ever have because for most of us, it’s the moment when we get swamped by the onrush of white-hot emotions that we’ve barely encountered before.

Rejection, shame and embarrassment are the primary ones. Then come their close cousins – denial, despair and pain. If we’re lucky, acceptance and circumspection will eventually arrive and allow us to move on.

If you use this time as a springboard to a much better relationship with yourself, the truth is that you will absolutely attract a much better partner next time

What your first break-up also teaches you, though, is that it’s probably going to happen to you again. And again. And again. Sometimes, you’ll do the breaking up. Sometimes you’ll be on the receiving end. But whether you’re 14 or 44, it’s a brutal experience.

And for some of us, getting up, dusting ourselves down and moving on is nigh on impossible.

This harsh emotional landscape isn’t the sole preserve of women, no matter what the movies might have you believe. As hypnotherapists, it’s very common for us to treat both women and men who feel wounding and heartache at the end of a relationship.

There are no rules and regulations around how you’re supposed to feel, either. Sometimes a relationship has simply come to an end and someone needs support to heal and move on. In other cases, the person we see has been on end of abusive or toxic behaviour and their self-esteem has been dismantled.

For the person mourning the end of a relationship, we’ll provide the right support through hypnosis to negotiate with the subconscious and allow space to grieve – knowing it was right for the relationship to end doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

But we also make sure we clear up the emotional flotsam and jetsam that a breakup can bring. How many of us have walked away from a love affair believing we’re worthless, unlovable or forever destined to be alone?

These, and other similarly negative beliefs, are the sticks with which we beat ourselves for what we perceive to be our own failure. And frankly, the end of a relationship is painful enough without going to town on yourself like that.

In hypnotherapy, in addition to the negotiation we do with the subconscious, we also do a lot of work around letting go – of the ex, of the belief systems you’ve evolved about yourself, life and relationships, and of the idealistic future you imagine you would have had with that person.

And then there’s the setting out of bottom-lines around out-of-therapy behaviour that give the client the best chance to heal and recover.

Here, then, are our top ten ways to get over your break-up

Breakup tip #1: The no contact rule

So, the break-up was amicable, and you’ve convinced each other you want to stay friends. Great! But not right now. Having time to heal and adjust to life without your ex is vital – and you can’t do that if you’re constantly on the phone to each other. As far as we’re concerned, this is non-negotiable.

Yes, it will feel a bit empty. Possibly – even probably – downright uncomfortable and painful at times. But you will get through it, and you’ll come out the other side stronger and more resilient.

And if the break-up was messy and damaged your self-esteem or if your partner was abusive? Then the no contact rule is especially important.

Breakup tip #2: No social media stalking

Hello? I know we’re paging Captain Obvious here but poring over your ex’s Facebook and Instagram accounts and looking at pictures of them busy getting over you isn’t actually going to help.

And don’t even think about going all Columbo, trying to work out whether the cute guy/girl they have their arm around at the festival is – quelle horreur – your replacement.

Do yourself a favour: don’t look. Block them if you don’t trust yourself or in the event they rather unhelpfully pop up on your news feed.

Breakup tip #3: Don’t rush into dating

Ah yes, the opiate of the broken relationship. Meet someone else make yourself feel better. Newsflash: you aren’t ready, you haven’t allowed yourself the time to grieve and you certainly haven’t had the opportunity to heal and reflect, which are vital.

That pain you feel is part of recovery. Yes, it’s hellish. Yes, it hurts. But it’s the process. It’s during this time that we can learn a lot about ourselves. What were the lessons we learned? More importantly, what we will do differently next time?

Sometimes the most painful experiences are the ones that give us the most wisdom and encourage the most growth. Don’t be tempted to fast forward or skip this important stage by going all Katie Price on yourself and knee-jerking your way into another relationship the moment you’re officially single.

Breakup tip #4: Self-care, self-care, self-care

Feeling rubbish is basically a natural by-product of a broken relationship. Treat it by being kind to yourself. This isn’t rocket science. You’re the one person you can rely on to treat you as you need to be treated. So be faithful to yourself. Workout. Have massages. Go out and sort out the social life you let slip while you were heretically attached to your ex. Do that diving course you’ve wanted to do for the duration of your ten year relationship. Do it all. For you.

Breakup tip #5: Don’t overindulge

Oh, okay. Maybe indulge a little bit. But keep a lid on it. Shoving 10 tubs of Ben & Jerry’s and a trough of red wine down your throat seven nights a week really isn’t normal, and you shouldn’t listen to anyone who says it is. Do a couple of days of ‘Oh-screw-it-why-not’ if you must. But, much more than that, and all you’re really doing is creating a horror show you’ll want to forget but your friends will remember for eternity.

Breakup tip #6: Don’t beat yourself up

At the risk of stereotyping here, we girls are especially brilliant at taking too much responsibility and blaming ourselves for what went wrong. But you know what? Telling yourself it’s because you’re not good enough, thin enough, pretty enough or clever enough is about as much use as garlic at a vampire convention.

Breakup tip #7: Rediscover you

Relationships have a way of robbing us of our individuality. In some ways that’s okay, but being single is also an opportunity to rediscover yourself.

Successful relationships are about making sacrifices – whether that’s not seeing as much of some people as you used to, not going on holiday with your friends, sacrificing a hobby or simply being in charge of the remote control.

Now is the time to take care of you, be selfish and get back in touch with your passions and who you really are.

Breakup tip #8: Be aware of the beliefs you form

A relationship has ended. This is not the end of the world, no matter how much it might feel like that. It does not mean you’re alone forever. It does not mean all men are cheats or all women are master manipulators. It does not mean you are worthless. Or that you’re not good enough. Or that it was all your fault.

And it most certainly does not mean that most toxic lie of all – that this was your last chance.

Ditch the narrative. You will heal, you will recover and you will fall in love again. If you support yourself and use this time and experience as a springboard to a much better relationship with yourself, the truth is that you will absolutely attract a much better partner next time. More than that, you’ll be ready.

Breakup tip #9: Ask yourself positive questions

Here’s the lowdown on your brain: If you ask yourself a negative question, your brain will give you a negative answer. Why am I such a loser? Why am I single? Why am I so unlovable?

But the reverse is also true: if you ask yourself positive questions your brain gets super-creative and gives you positive and often beautifully surprising answers: How can I support myself through this? What is the one thing that I really need to do for myself today? How can I accelerate my healing in the kindest way possible?

Do yourself a massive favour and make a point of asking yourself positive questions every day and especially first thing in the morning when the post-break up feeling is often the most corrosive.

Breakup tip #10: Talk it out

We can’t always do things alone and much as we’d love to be the strong superhero of our own story every minute of every day, sometimes even the strongest amongst us need support – to cry, to grieve, to thrash it out, to vent, to get it out.

And when you need to do that, when you absolutely, definitely have to let rip – we’re here. To listen. To talk. To help. Whether that’s today, tomorrow, next week or next month.

Zoë Clew is a hypnotherapist who specialises in confidence, self-esteem, anxiety & trauma. She is the founder of Zoë Clews & Associates. Zoë graduated from the European College of Hypnotherapy in 2002 and has taught there since graduating and is trained in Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

Paul Gibson is part of the Zoë Clews & Associates team with a background in background in therapy and medical practice. Paul specialises in medical hypnosis, sports performance and addiction. He gained his medical knowledge as a dermatology nurse.

How to get over a breakup – 7 steps to deal with being dumped

Divorce and children – how to break up when there are kids involved

7 ways to break up smart

Source: https://bloghyped.com/how-to-get-over-a-breakup-like-a-boss/

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