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#damen is the boyfriend in theory but the horrified best friend in practice
ninicaise · 8 months
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I love your posts so much! I’m curious, what do u think would be Laurent and Damen’s thoughts on open relationships, do u think it’s something they would try?
interesting question. i've made it into a joke already in this post and also there are these fantastic tags from @/not-a-coral-snake and it's the best thing ever so true so funny so them.
it's quite evident laurent has no interest in being with anyone other than damen. furthermore we don't see damen being interested in anyone ever again after he has a night with laurent + it makes both of them very jealous when they see or think about the other with someone else. so at least in the universe they're in i doubt they'd be genuinely interested in that kind of relationship. know that if they ever tried it they'd be miserable, and in an easy happy peaceful world they wouldn't even think about it.
unfortunately these people do not live in an easy happy peaceful world. it's inevitable that they at least discuss the possibility. however the only way i could see them having an open relationship agreement is through some sort of misunderstanding of each other's needs.
there's the fact that at least akielos is a culture in which people and esp nobles are expected to have multiple lovers/a harem. laurent goes above and beyond and a bit too much when trying to compensate for something he did (trying to die for damen for example) and i think for a certain period of time he would be respectful of akielon culture to the point of being too much. forcing damen's own culture onto damen himself, kind of thing.
it's likely damen has had open relationships in the past (jokaste anyone). he knows how they work, he grew up knowing it to be a natural thing, he knows that as king he is expected to have a variety of lovers. and likely in any other circumstance he would. he just isn't interested unless laurent is involved. damen hates the idea tbh but he will give laurent what he wants bc he thinks well. maybe laurent wants to explore his sexuality a little more with more people who aren't damen after years of repressing it (he doesn't) and if he is insisting so much then he must have a good reason (objectively he doesn't).
plus, and i think this one is the most likely, laurent knows he's not exactly an easy lover. ppl overestimate the amount of both self-respect and self-confidence laurent has wayyy to often. laurent is canonically insecure about anything sex related and a future-oriented control freak, so he'd try to have control over any affair damen might have if at some point laurent stops being enough by ensuring he will be able to claim that he knew all along, that laurent was the one who allowed it, laurent was in control the whole time. kind of like with th i know who you are damianos thing. i've known all along. i know you'll get tired of how complicated i am eventually i know everything i am prepared for every possible outcome you can't catch me chaos of this world etc etc.
it's not that he can tolerate the idea of damen being w other ppl, it's just that he thinks he has to tolerate it bc 1) he doesn't deserve a say 2) the alternative (damen getting tired, feeling trapped and leaving altogether) is way worse 3) he thinks it will happen eventually anyway and this is the only way he can remain dignified. or so he thinks. lol. this mindset is of course unhealthy. so he should work on that.
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