#edit: so sexy and systemlike of u edward. ive noticed u fracture ur identity into underlying parts which sometimes share space and time.

[volant-endeavor]

"Last time I saw ÿou, you said you would feed me prices of my flayed skin"

Ok, so ed is traumatized by threats of autocannibalism from his previous captain. [Aka boss] And when he is spiraling in self destruction, he does that exact thing to his close friend (+whipping boy?)

In his death images, the electrical activity happening as the body dies, his big radical shift in perspective is to place his behavior in the identity of his former abuser. And continue his own identity, "ed" in contrast, and at the whims of that person.

Now, the captain continues his life forward. Nourishes his body. Does what he has to do. And even, in this moment, treats him with respect! Dignity, even.

But underlying, there is a threat. Ed is afraid.

I think Ed has sought power to escape the abuses of hierarchy, and used those violences himself to get there. To build an image.

This made him lose himself, in a lot of ways. It's extreme masking trauma. It's made him feel so trapped that he has become suicidal, long before canon.

Ed realizes that to continue to be a pirate, he would rather himself be dead.

...or he can retire?

#but stede was the balm. it made him feel spontanious and like himself again #if we r thinking about relationship anarchy. stede has sought out new ways to relate to other peoples away from arostrocratic sociery #ed has been boxed into the behaviour of being a pirate. certain patterns started when he had no autonomy and have continued now that he is #in power on the ship. izzy is acclimated to the navy #he is loyal and he takes orders. he has souht a life outside the norms. in piracy. but he still upholds some of the shit #he internalized about being strong and useful. he doesnt have a hugh self worth. izzy isnt enough of s catalyst to break Ed's patterns #and i think its bdcause he js a subordinate. and because he doesnt habe #have a radical approach to intimacy. he just tries to keep things going. #fuck idk im sortimg my thoughts. my personal endga #endgame is ot3 #ed has a lot to come to terms w tho #ofmd season 2 #edward teach #edit: so sexy and systemlike of u edward. ive noticed u fracture ur identity into underlying parts which sometimes share space and time. #this intrigues me #edit edit: lost im the sauce im about to lose keyboard privleges sianora fuckers