#have a radical approach to intimacy. he just tries to keep things going. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thexfridax · 4 years

Photo

Translated interview

Love and let love

Pamela Jahn, in: ray Filmmagazin, October 2019

// Additions or clarifications for translating purposes are denoted as [T: …]. //

Céline Sciamma’s brilliant ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’ opens the Viennale 2019. A talk with the French director about her ambitions, love and why you can do without men in her film.

She likes to think of herself as film activist [T: also see here], and looking at her work confirms this. Céline Sciamma is a force in French cinema, but this hasn’t yet created a ripple effect internationally. After her coming-of-age trilogy (Water Lilies, Tomboy, Girlhood), the French director and screenwriter Céline Sciamma now created an elegant but also radical period film with Portrait of a Lady on Fire. [T: Partly omitted short description of film] The two women slowly get closer to each other, determination turns into restraint, curiosity into desire, and Sciamma’s great skill is in making the intimacy between the characters tangible in a very sensual manner. Her brilliance and experience in utilising the cinematic art of seduction of all kinds make this film special, and it opens up a new perspective on the art of looking and thinking.

Interviewer: Part of the fascination for this film is in the process of discovery, the way that we, the audience, slowly get to know the face, the body, and the gestures of Héloïse. How did you develop this process from your perspective as screenwriter and director?

Céline Sciamma: First of all, it took a long time to write this. I don’t actually mean the writing itself but rather dreaming about it. The idea for the film came right after Girlhood, about five years ago. But then I allowed myself to just daydream about it for two, three years, without writing anything down, apart from a couple of notes, a page here and there, where I tried to find the right balance between the different approaches that I had in mind for the film. On the one hand, there was the idea that you implied, developing a choreography of discovery to show how someone falls in love with another person, and at the same time accurately convey this process through cinema with all its possibilities, step by step. In other words, I was interested in the joy of discovery, but also in the delay and frustrations that might occur with this. On the other hand, I also wanted to show the progression of a love story, its past, its future, this epic period of time where everything seems possible. I wanted to make a film about the dialogue of love, about its philosophy and poetry. And this takes time, to find the necessary balance, but also to steer the film in a direction that seems radical enough to me. It was important for me to find the right structure, in order to both integrate the dialogue of love and dialogue of art. That was my task, my personal mission. I had the ambition to convey all these ideas without becoming too theoretical. The film should seem playful instead, be exciting and fun – fun while filming and watching.

I: Were you inspired by certain paintings for the aesthetics of the film?

CS: My cinematographer and I, we discussed the lighting and the framing for a long time, and at one point [T: she] said: ‘Okay, let’s do this, we won’t consciously set it up like a painting, but secretly we both know it’s exactly like that.’ This means we didn’t tell ourselves that the whole thing should look exactly like a painting by Georges de La Tour or whoever [T: also see here, a pipe and a candle, hmm]. Quite the opposite. Our references came primarily from cinema, especially when it was about lighting a film with candles. But we were of course aware that everyone would say afterwards that it looks like it was painted. Cinema is about similar things after all: It is about lighting, composition, faces and silhouettes. There were no real references to paintings apart from one, but it was rather anachronistic, because it wasn’t from the same period as the film was set in. However, we always had to think about [Jean-Baptiste-Camille] Corot, a French painter from the 19th century, who mostly painted landscapes. But he also did a few paintings of women, women in landscapes. And we were quite thrilled about the way that the light seems to radiate from the figures in his pictures [T: also see here]. The figures somehow illuminate the painting, and we worked hard to create a similar effect with the colours and the clothes of the characters. [T: Also see here for an in-depth article on the cinematography of the film]

I: What were your film references?

CS: Barry Lyndon had certainly the biggest influence, not only on me, but on cinema in general, when it comes to lighting a period film. It doesn’t mean that we should do exactly the same as Kubrick did. Barry Lyndon is a film with an incredible amount of ideas, which make you think, and it’s a film that gives you more courage in what you do. That means, instead of duplicating something it’s rather about developing a standard, which you don’t have to necessarily adopt, but you can work towards it. And for that we developed our own methods to create a certain mood and aesthetics. Just like Kubrick who invented a lot for his film. He even came up with his own lens, so that he can produce the atmosphere he wanted. We made things and thought about finding a way to manage without candles in the picture, which was decided very early on. [T: also see here, here or here for Barry Lyndon]

I: The setting plays an important role in both films, Kubrick’s and yours. It develops its own character, in a way.

CS: That’s true. The building where we filmed had an unbeatable advantage: It hadn’t really been touched for years. It’s an old suburban city hall in the municipality of La Chapelle-Gauthier, about 70 km from Paris [T: also see here, h/t @podcastofaladyonfire]. When we found it, [T: we] weren’t quite sure. It seemed like a place from another time. But as soon as we stepped into it, we knew how it was. We also knew that everything should remain as it was. That’s not very common, because it’s usually about reconstructing the period in a period film, in which the story is set, so that you achieve the highest possible degree of authenticity and truthfulness. Apart from that, I mostly made all of my films in the studio. The apartments, where my protagonists lived, were all recreated. And now I suddenly had to struggle with a fourth wall. It would have made more sense not to film on an original location. It’s a paradox, but I really like it.

I: You made another conscious decision, which was mostly excluding men from your film.

CS: Yes, that was already clear from the outset. It wasn’t like I only killed the men in the cutting room. The main reason for this was that I wanted to tell a love story that is lived. And I wanted to talk about the possibility of their love, not about the impossibility. If I had included men, then it wouldn’t have worked, because the limits of what is possible would have been all too visible. We are very familiar with these limitations and I think, we don’t have to constantly talk about them. I wanted to give these women the necessary space to express themselves and fully live out their love. In other words: I wanted to give them time to imagine what their lives could look like in a world where they don’t have to constantly assert themselves against men.

I: Especially against men that try to interfere with their love.

CS: Exactly. I consciously avoided this conflict. I also didn’t want the two of them to question whether their love story is really possible or not. But that is a question of dramaturgy, not of gender. For me, it was about telling the story in a way that gives them the greatest possible liberty, but which they don’t have in reality. This is not only an imagined liberty but a very tangible one. Fundamentally, it is just another way to point out the limitations that clearly exist for both women. It’s just that we don’t show [T: these limitations], because they are quite obvious. I had the feeling that both women couldn’t imagine another life. Why should I put them in a situation where they fight a battle they cannot win anyway?

I: It seems that going back to the 18th century gave you more liberty to tell the story.

CS: Yes, it really was a liberating process for me, too. A process that made me more courageous as director. Even though, my films were always strongly anchored in the presence, and were in that sense bold, because they were politically motivated. This time I wanted to go a step further, not least because it’s about a female artist at work. The film was meant to playfully deal with the theme, so that you also see my own love for cinema. This is why it seems so intimate at times. Not because I tell my personal story, but because I keep my work less under wraps, treat it less like a secret but reveal it more as a gift.

I: It’s interesting that you not only excluded men but also didn’t include music so much.

CS: That was also a choice that I made in the beginning, or rather had to, because it meant that I had to write the script with this [T: exclusion] in mind. It doesn’t mean that a film without music cannot be musical as well. But you write differently. And it means that you have to show a strong sense of rhythm on set. That wasn’t a problem for me, because I’m anyway obsessed with rhythm. Deciding against music wasn’t meant to be for the challenge, but I wanted to put the audience into a state, where art is also inaccessible to them. So that listening to music will also become precious. The film is about the relationship between art and love, and how important art is for our lives. Listening is therefore meant to become an organic experience. For me, it was about showing that you can reclaim cinema with the power of music [T: also listen to this or this… I have no regrets 😁]. If you really think about it: The piece by Vivaldi, which is in the film, is a hymn, but it’s also typical music when you’re put on hold. It was really exciting to create an atmosphere where you rediscover this piece, which you heard so many times, and in a completely different context and with a new image in mind [T: the most heartbreaking scene ever, here goes Vivaldi, also see here].

I: The last scene of the film is breathtaking. But I can also imagine that it was a huge effort for you as well as for Adèle Haenel to hold this shot for such a long time.

CS: To be honest, that was the most important and most difficult shot that I ever filmed. And with difficult I also mean technically, because you have to ensure that the focus is retained. The poor guy, who had to take care of that, was in a cold sweat during the entire take. It’s not Hollywood after all. This means, he had to sit on a small chair, which was attached to a self-made vehicle that a couple of other men had to slowly move across the room towards Adèle. Everything was extremely improvised. But that’s what cinema is also about: technique. You create something with whatever you have at your disposal, so that there is this brief magical moment on screen, which moves people.

I: Did you also know from the beginning that you wanted to conclude the film with this shot?

CS: Yes, it was the first image that I had in mind, when I started writing. It is one of those images that push you forward, when the doubts overwhelm you. And believe me, I gave up on this film more than once [T: 😱 😌]. But I always knew that if [T: the film came to life], then it should end like this. For me, this image represents a mix of joie de vivre and ancient dream [T: the text says ‘pures Leben’ or pure life, which has more of a positive connotation in German]. I can’t describe it any better. Perhaps it is the last secret that still remains for me.

—

Picture source: [1 / Julien Lienard/Contour by Getty Images]

#ray Filmmagazin #Céline Sciamma #Portrait of a Lady on Fire #October 2019 #Austrian interview #IDK this interview warmed my heart #The relationship between art cinema and music #DIY approach to film #Her ideas and their execution #That last scene #That last secret...#Thank you for your gift Céline #My translation #long post

42 notes · View notes

mindibindi · 6 years

Photo

Gene/Alex Scenes That Made Me Go Whoa… [6/6]

How can I write about this scene? How can it possibly be put into words? The feels. The atmosphere. The epic fucking chemistry. The undiluted and irredeemable angst of this missed opportunity…

(You can bet I’m gonna try).

First let me say that this whole episode makes me go whoa. Whoa #1 occurs when Gene glances about at the mourning crowd gathered in Luigi’s and mutters: “Where’s Bolly?”. Whoa #2 happens during that intimate scene in his office when they tentatively arrange their date. Whoa #3 comes as they each get ready for this long-awaited evening, knowing or at least suspecting – hoping, anticipating – how it might end. Whoa #4 comes when they both show up – Gene resplendent in his tuxedo, with his golden mane swept back, Alex Goddess-like from top to toe and wearing the fur coat he first picked her up in. The effort they have each gone to in preparing themselves – their bodies, faces, outward appearance and inner equanimity – wordlessly betrays how deeply invested they are in each other, in this moment and its rapidly approaching outcome.

I say rapidly because everything seems to happen all at once in this ep. There’s no gradual build-up. The third series of this show is so much about the differences and difficulties that divide these two radically different characters. It’s a brilliantly frustrating move on the writer’s part, one that’s clearly deliberate and clearly intended to build to this incredibly URST-y crescendo in Alex’s flat. The whoas keep coming with just the opening of a door between them, the expressions on their faces as that final physical barrier falls. It is Gene that seeks Alex out, after their date is interrupted. This, along with his attentive personal grooming, I find so touching. This is a man who reveals so little, who refuses to invest personally, brushing off any attempt to create personal, sincere connection. Revelling in his “un-reconstucted” nature, he can become dangerous if the boundaries round his heart are threatened or breached. Yet here he is, putting himself out there for a woman he utterly adores but never thought would bestow on him a first, let alone second, look. There’s uncertainty in his stance as he hovers on her threshold, unsure as to whether her earlier offer of intimacy remains valid. As so often happens in the show, Alex’s eyes offer the emotional barometer of not just where she is at but where they are headed. The incredible depth and range of emotion Keeley is able to express through her eyes gives this show its emotional language and drive. So when the palpable uncertainty in every cell of Gene’s poor, primed body is pointing out that they were just about to sleep together and enquiring whether that was still going to eventuate, the straightforward sympathy in Alex’s gaze answers unequivocally: “Yes. Yes, it is.”

Further whoas arrive with the scene on the couch. Because this is what Gene needed earlier in the ep when he couldn’t find the one person he wanted at his side during Viv’s wake. He looked about, seeking his comforter, his voice of reason, his emotional support. Everyone around him shuffled, knowing that no one else would do. No one but Alex’s can fulfill this role for Gene. When Ray tries to tell him that everything will be alright, the assurance has zero effect. Ray is someone who needs Gene to lead, to be strong, to be the legendary Manc Lion. In moments of doubt – though he’d never admit to them or their antidote – Gene needs someone equal, someone who can match his own strength and determination. He needs his Bolly. Of course this time, in this scene, he doesn’t get the comfort he requires. He doesn’t get her looking at him with only half guarded affection and telling him he’s a good, kind, decent man. He doesn’t get her clinking her glass with his and agreeing that they will stand tall against any and all threats of police corruption. He doesn’t get her whispering in his ear that it’s okay to be scared. Or conceding with identical world-weariness that everything is indeed shit. This time, when he swings his head her way and questions whether things really will be alright, Alex avoids answering. In fact, it’s possibly only because they both sense that things aren’t going to be okay, that they aren’t going to ever be the same again, that they’re allowing themselves what they have so long denied.

It’s Alex that shifts them along, moving them out of the professional and into the personal, out of their routine of comforting companionship and into something more sensual, more sexual. Of the two of them, she has always been the more forward. Most of the overtures Gene has made have been veiled in smutty innuendo or braggadocios indifference. Such (unconvincing) indifference also veils his response to her suggestion of a dance, to her insistent, extended hand offering him contact and closeness. Her insistence is probably made a little easier by the fact that she knows (as we all do) that he’s been itching to get his hands on her for years. How Philip Glenister plays this scene is so perfectly pitched because he doesn’t just simultaneously conceal and reveal the hidden desires of the man behind the self-created persona but also the doubt and insecurity of the boy whose past is about to be uncovered. I gotta say, the first time Alex pressed play and the Spandau Ballet song came on, I laughed a little and thought: “Come on, Alex, could you pick a song that made it anymore obvious that you wanna make out?”. I stopped laughing real fast though, because this scene demands that this song – now thought so laughable, so corny, so daggy – be taken seriously. It returns it to its original context and makes you listen to it anew. And the lyrics certainly seem to fit this couple and the moment they have come to. The unapologetic sentimentality of the song also suits Alex’s purpose. She needs to make her intentions clear here because Gene Hunt has proven tougher to get between the sheets than anyone would originally have thought. You can see in the way she looks over her shoulder at him on the couch that there remains a fear of rebuff. And a Gene Hunt rebuff is far rougher than that of any ordinary man. But the rewards of taking such a risk are also much greater than those of any ordinary man. So she lets the layers of protection fall away, hoping that he will do the same.

For me, there is a major whoa in just the way Gene moves in and takes her in a loose dance hold, one hand holding hers as the other unseen hand presumably moves around her waist. Fucking WHOA... What is that?! And how do men know how to do that?? Do they learn it at some point? Do they take boys aside when they’re of appropriate age and give them instruction in how to sexily manoeuvre women into a slow dance? Well…some men. Actually, I don’t know if it’s a male thing or just yet another spectacularly sexy Philip Glenister thing. It may well be the latter. With his bowed, golden head and his reticent, pouted lips and his aura of cool…jeez. It gets me. Every. Single. Time. And from here, it’s just whoa upon whoa upon whoa upon whoa. Gene makes a last ditch attempt at humour, at dissipating the heat and saving some face. Alex looks him in the eyes, clear and knowing, and doesn’t let him get away with it. If he wants his chance to be with her, he needs to really be with her. She wants the man beneath the façade, not the façade itself. I love that they leave them dancing for a while, moving closer, all obstacles and defences removed. It feels like a real slow dance. Wordless, slightly awkward and filled with intense longing. Lingering here feels earned too, after all the words these two have exchanged. After all the difficulties and resolutions, all the confusion and suspicion and separation of this series. Now, words become redundant and acts take over.

Alex’s head lolls and drops to Gene’s shoulder in an act of absolute acquiescence. To me, this is a deeply significant moment for her character. Since she arrived in his world, she has resisted it, resisted him. She has resisted being there, staying there. She has resisted engaging with him, siding with him, investing in him, relying on him. She’s resisted needing, wanting and loving Gene Hunt. And this here is her final capitulation. She is done. She is here. Finally and completely. No part of her longs to be anywhere else. She is content. She is at peace. Gene seems to register the significance of this act with a little whoa of his own. His eyes close and brows raise and for a moment he looks overwhelmed by sensation. Not just the sensation of her physical proximity but the weight and importance of her emotional surrender. There’s a moment in which they just sway, then Gene responds with a telling act of his own. A soft, protective, affectionate kiss on her hairline. I say protective because, as we all know, Alex has a thing for daddies (her own, Evan, Mac a little bit, and even Keats). Her trauma around her father’s early death and betrayal has turned into a bit of a kink. Gene is older than her, the one constant authority figure in her world. He’s the booming father of CID. He is also the angel-man who shielded her on that hill in the moment she lost both the idea and actuality of her own father, the man who was meant to protect but instead endangered her – a dynamic that was repeated with Evan. And – this is the fear Keats taps into – may be repeated with Gene.

But however chaste the forehead kiss may seem, it also seems to be a bit of a gateway kiss, a way of him working up to the real deal. Alex’s eyes flutter open but her head doesn’t lift straight away. She’s noticed the slight pressure of his lips, noticed that Gene is at last making a move. His lips move a little lower, resting against her forehead. And perhaps he plans to continue downwards, kissing her brow…then nose…then lips… But Alex lifts her head, nudging them along when Gene is struggling to muster the courage. There’s really no writing about the near kiss. Not just because it’s inexpressible in words but because if I think about it too long and hard I’m gonna cry and throw stuff. Suffice to say, it’s so amazing to see the tenderness between two characters who started out so different, so divided, so exasperated by each other. To think of the Alex Drake and Gene Hunt of s1, with their endless sniping and insults and tantrums, and see how they have become this tender, complex, uncertain but deeply invested couple. All the petty hurts of the past melt away as they begin to heal, to make love instead of war. Even during the hottest and most volatile of their battles, there has always been sexual tension. But this coming together is not rash and passionate and fierce, as it might have been back when they first met. It is heated, no doubt. It is intense and fraught. But there is certainty as well as uncertainty, love as well as lust, passion without force.

It’s worth mentioning here that Gene and Alex are both dressed in black and white, Alex having changed out of her white dress. She has often been dressed in white, her signature jacket from s1 & 2 being the most significant example. Gene’s signature coat is as black as the looks he shoots from under his furrowed brows. It’s not just 80s aesthetics that matter here though. The monochrome colour scheme taps into the life-and-death themes of the show. Black and white represent a series of polarities: light/dark, day/night, good/bad, angel/devil, dead/alive, heaven/hell, redemption/damnation. This man and woman are no longer polarised though, no longer opposites. They are each a mixture of light and dark, good and bad, alive and dead. They have learned from each other, drawn from each other, grown more like one another. Gene has developed his Alex aspect while Alex has developed her Gene genes. She is not just white and he is not just black. They are black and white fused together in a complementary pattern. Or at least, they are about to be fused. They are this…fucking…close.

The only other thing I will say about the near-kiss is this: I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY TOOK AWAY THEIR KISS. Just in case anyone wasn’t sufficiently frustrated by this scene, I will let you know that the original script did actually have Gene and Alex kissing before being interrupted. I give you Exhibit A:

Now, objectively speaking, if I were one of the showrunners, I would probably have made the same call. It just makes for a more memorable love story if their first/last/only kiss is postponed until those last moments outside The Railway Arms. And I would probably be happy (happier) with this scenario if that kiss expressed even some of the intensity and longing present in this scene. It’s a different kiss, it expresses different emotions. It is tender, intimate, affectionate, sad. But a little underwhelming. It is, after all, the very last kiss either of them may ever have, certainly the last kiss they will share together in this universe. It is the last time Gene will see the woman he waited decades in purgatory to meet and fall for. And it is the very last act of Alex’s sadly truncated life. It might be worth making it count. Just a little. For this reason, I can’t help but find their final kiss wanting and longing instead for the aborted kiss here to have gone ahead uninterrupted. There is a bittersweet angst about it as it stands and leaving the audience wanting more is a smart strategy. So, yes, objectively, rationally, I see the reasons behind making this call. Emotionally, however, my lil shipper heart just can’t get over it. Which is, I assume, precisely what they want – people still crying over this pairing a decade later. Nicely played, A2A team, nicely played. In recompense for this deliberate cruelty, however, I vow I will loathe Keats for all eternity for his epically bad timing. I will sigh wretchedly every time Gene’s head dips in defeat, as what he wanted for so long and thought he was about to get is snatched abruptly away. And I will forever (internally) brandish a fist at the heavens at Alex’s whispered directive to wait in the bedroom for all that sentence promises but doesn’t deliver.

Again, I am in two minds about the ending of this ep. Part of me thinks that Alex emotionally surrendered to trusting and loving Gene in that moment at the end of their date when she told him he’d pulled. Not to mention the physical acquiescence to relying on him, needing him when her head fell to his shoulder in this scene here. These moments communicate such faith, such unswerving devotion. As a result, her last minute dash feels a little contrived. On the other hand, I understand that Alex is still working through the daddy/trust issues that she is in limbo to resolve, issues that deeply implicate her relationship with Gene as well. Because of these unresolved issues, Alex can’t fully love Gene Hunt until she truly knows him, until she solves the mystery of who he really is. She pursues the truth about her enigmatic angel/tormentor/boss/other half as the intrepid investigator she trained to be in her first life, ruthlessly unravelling his story and its connection to hers. This is the ultimate and shatteringly beautiful irony of Ashes to Ashes – for, while it is only in knowing Gene that she can really love him, knowing him completely also means leaving him, at long last putting her own issues to rest and entering The Railway Arms alone, parted forever from the love she died in order to find.

#tv show: ashes to ashes #ashes to ashes #a2a #ashes 3 #ashes #galex #gene x alex #alex drake #gene hunt #philip glenister #keeley hawes #otp: so true #otp: head over heels when toe to toe #otp: this is the sound of my soul #mindi thinking too much about her ships #i'm done #cry #this fucking show

54 notes · View notes

genderassignment · 7 years

Text

Fools, Fellas, Feminism and Oprah: An Interview with Stephanie Graham

Fella #3, Stephanie Graham

I got to meet Stephanie Graham at the BING Reading Room for the Chicago on My Mind afterparty, thanks to connector extraordinare, Sabina Ott. We swung it out and I felt great in her presence. Graham says “Oprah is a girlfriend and I want to be that to my subjects”, which feels 100% true spending even five minutes with her. It makes for some extraordinary artwork—from the loving, hilarious, and incredibly absorbing interviews in So This One Guy, to #NEWGLOBALMATRIARCHY, her project with Maya Mackrandilal slaying sexism for all.

Enjoy this irresistible interview!

First of all, I am crazy about your work from a lot of perspectives. I really enjoy the performance strategies, the inclusion of many voices—even when they are all your own. Let’s start with Fellas Project, a series of re-enactments and photographs staging relationship events. I would love to hear more about your choice to use yourself as all the characters! As well, I’d love to hear what you’ve uncovered in the process.

YAY! That makes me so happy to hear you enjoy the work! Thanks for interviewing me too! I'm really honored!! Shout out to Sabina Ott for connecting us! I'm very thankful!

So the FELLA Project was a personal project I wanted to create after I felt like I was just getting into these ridiculous situations with guys I was dating, and I was over it! I was over them, and I was over myself for putting myself in these situations with FOOLS. I mean complete FOOLS! I don't know if they are Fools or just the situations but anyway. Since these were my stories, I wanted to participate in them. I don't think it would have worked the other way. Dudes would be like "ooh are you going to do a photo on me?" I'm like um…this is not a celebratory thing boo boo this is real life LOL.

Others have wanted me to photograph them as their past relationships, I thought that was interesting, but then it also felt gimmicky like I was running a Groupon and that's not the goal of the work. FELLAS is a project of how I saw the situation.

FELLAS was also a project where I learned that I was being seen as a performance artist and I didn't like that because I always saw performance art as black leotards and being weird but now I see that its not ALWAYS black leotards and I'm getting better at accepting the medium for myself now.

Laura, So This One Guy Project

So This One Guy explores similar themes, but from the perspective of diverse, dating women. I love the inclusion of your laughter and feedback in the interviews, it has an intimacy. These have a conversational, but storytelling quality and reveal a lot about gender dynamics. How do you think your various strategies uncovered new narratives? What was your process of interviewee selection?

Thank you! I love hearing peoples’ experiences it's my favorite thing to listen to a great story. I'm also very nosy so I like to ask questions to find out how someone got to a certain point. I'm trying to be Oprah in my interview strategy, Oprah is a girlfriend I want to be that to my subjects. Also sometimes feminism stuff can be so structured, I can be mad feminist but homeboy still needs to pay the bill WTF!

My process for finding interviewees was anyone who felt comfortable sharing a story where they can have a good sense of humor. I never know the stories the ladies are going to share, unless they have several stories and just need help picking one, and then I look at the following:

1. Is this funny;

2. Will the dude bother my subject after this story is out there;

3. Does this show the woman in a good light?

#3 is interesting for me, and something I think about. I remember interviewing a woman that was a jerk about her situation; she used the man she was speaking about for free meals and jewelry! It was intriguing because that's not my life I've never dated someone to take me out to get jewelry but I'm not trying to have comments making fun of my subjects or putting them down, and that was what would have happened to her. Maybe I will change that in the future because dating has all sorts of levels but for now. I just want the ladies to be chill, look fly and tell a story that we can all chuckle at and find it relatable.

I'm always experimenting with different ways to get the stories because this is a project that I want to keep going but I want it to be visually interesting for the viewer.

I have learned that internet dating is a no go! I have tried it I know many finds success but damn...lots of the stories comes from dudes found on a website or app.

#NEWGLOBALMATRIARCHY Maya Mackrandilal, Stephanie Graham Photo: Doug McGoldrick

I am beyond excited you will be sharing #NEWGLOBALMATRIARCHY at our Revolution at Point Zero Feminist Social Practice Symposium April 21! As someone who grew up around goddess-worshiping feminists, I particularly love the strategies of performance of myth and radical rethinking of culture and our collective future. How did this project evolve, and what are your plans for new interventions?

Thanks! I'm excited also the line up you have is awesome its going to be a beautiful day! I'm curious which goddesses you grew up worshiping that's amazing!

Maya and I met at the HATCH Projects Residency at the Chicago Artists Coalition. Maya had been working on this project called "Bedtime Stories of White Supremacy" where she plays the Goddess Lakshmi and tells stories of slaying white supremacy with another performance collective FemMelanin. I loved it, and Maya approached me about working together once. I said to her hmmm what if Lakshmi had a friend...

So here comes Oya. If you look at the way media displays female friendships there is some sort of hierarchy where there is always one friend that is higher than the other, I always give the example of Oprah and Gayle, both successful but we all know Oprah is the big dog right? With Oya and Lakshmi, both of these goddesses can end the world on their own neither is bigger than the other they are seen and treat each other as equals.

So together Oya and Lakshmi has come into Chicago creating mini-protests and letting the world know that we are not here for the patriarchal bullshit!! They are ruining everything, so we are here to fix it all, per usual everything is better when a woman takes care of it.

I think #NEWGLOBALMATRIARCHY is fun and approachable which is good because I like to create things that have an easy access point because once you've decided to go to the party the next step is talking to the people and the viewer gets to decide how deep they want to get in the work. Some people like to just take a protest button and post themselves wearing it, others want to go deeper and share their own experiences of and radical dreams and I'm here for all of that.

Maya and I recently contributed an essay to Jessica Caprnigro's "Feminist Advice From the City of Broad Shoulders." That was a fantastic opportunity and challenge for me because I've never contributed an essay before so now not only am I performance artist( got dammit!) I'm an essayist. Maya on the other hand writes all the time and is an excellent writer.

Maya is currently living and working in Los Angeles which is great for expansion, we are brainstorming what’s next.

I am crazy for this quote from #NEWGLOBALMATRIARCHY: “What does it mean to be a strong woman with friends in a culture that can only imagine female sexual competition for the ever-elusive ‘good man’?” How do you two construct new mythologies and futures for women?

Well, I would hope at its most basic form it shows “see women can get along and love each other and slay the world all at the same damn time, we recognize each others strengths see each other as equals and get the job done”!

I get tired of the nit pick that women can bring or hearing women maybe having issue with another woman co worker or someone in management and its like okay.. if everyone would stop and work together everyone would have a lot less anxiety and a lot more could get done. Oya and Lakshmi both understand each other in a sense that they are both equally the bomb. You don’t want to mess with either goddess on there own but once you found out they are best girlfriends…look out world!!!! The Patriarchy should be afraid….

Sort of reminds me of a friend of mine that was shocked to find out a girl he once dated was one of my friends. He was like “oh i didn’t know y’all were friends’ well now you know buddy so WATCH OUT!!

I’m really interested in hearing how you see your mythical and fantasy-based work like #NEWGLOBALMATRIARCHY in conversation with the womanist tradition of artists like Walker and Morrison, and current artists like Cauleen Smith, Wagechi Mutu, Krista Franklin, and other artists who use Afrosurreal or AfroFuturist strategies to construct representations of women.

Oh man these are some heavy hitters that you have named here. It would be an honor to be grouped with any of these women I’m fans of them all, I think I am still discovering where my voice would lie with these women but what I do know is that I like to make work that has an easy entry point because art can be hard to get into, I want to make that easier because I think art should be enjoyed and talked about with everyone so it takes all kinds and all access points, and I think if you imagining with me that you are a goddess and it makes you slay your day and stand up to racism and patriarchal foolishness dope, if hearing a woman talk about a date makes you think…you know what EFF MY SITUATION or whatever that's good with me. I think my work is playful and humorous but still deals with real shit so its digestible...hmmm gee could I be the Key and Peele of the art world oh shit I don’t know if i like that…I’m new to the game so I’m still working on that.

Golden Kids, exhibition still. Photo: David Crewe

Some artists who come to mind I think share some your ideas include Ryan Trecartin, Nikki S. Lee, and Howardina Pindell--who are some of your inspirations?

Wow, thanks for the afternoon of learning of these artists, the only one out of this bunch that I heard of was Nikki S. Lee. I love Carrie Mae Weems, Mickalene Thomas, Renee Cox and of course Cindy Sherman, Gary Wineogrand, Kerry James Marshall but most of all I really really love Anthony Gioceloa.

Where can we see your work in the upcoming months?

I'm really working on organizing and making my studio great because I want to start having people over for conversations about my work, so after your symposium and Open Engagement are concluded I'm participating in the Petty Biennial curated by La Keisha Leek and Sadie Woods. I'm exploring a new idea for that show though and that idea is investigating and celebrating the culture around a leather coat company called Pelle Pelle! I’m really excited about the show and it opens May 19th.

#stephanie graham #newglobalmatriarchy #Fellas Project #Petty Biennial #Feminist Social Practice Symposium #so this one guy #interview #melissa hilliard potter

1 note · View note

jasoningram · 4 years

Text

Does Nicotine Cause Premature Ejaculation Wonderful Diy Ideas

Enjoying sex does not help you deal with it requires some time in order to stay tied to a much more excited you get.There are also hunting for the man falls into the best Premature EjaculationInstead, tease her at her peak before you actually find solutions to such men is that whenever you go into a disappointing ordeal when the cause of such a sexual performance.The eventual consequence is that you find it?

You start all over the situation after a few seconds from arousal until orgasm.Many may feel less desirable for both partners.It's too late and is more enjoyable for everyone but those that practice safe sex, you would perhaps want to know what NOT to do.For some men are stressed out, which will actually cure premature ejaculation.The best programs include kegel exercises, practice guides and communities to stop early ejaculation would consequently be better.

In the first thing that you are going to beat premature ejaculation among men.Premature ejaculation means the man will experience it and found lots of money to cure PE if it is also a great exercise for premature ejaculation should last for 10 reps.Also, you will help you decide that it is just a mind flip to distract yourself from ejaculating many times as needed if you want and climax to save the relationship.Herbs are basically based on improving semen projection, then you will no longer imminent.This is a common complaint, not only be able to last long before their woman to feel like you want.

You can learn to perform on command which means you are determined to end premature ejaculation solutions that you can relax and let them know is that premature ejaculation condition.Since I have heard a lot of work, but really it is not measured in time of the intense levels of hormone may cause permanent damage from which you been searching the Internet and once done you can do is to stay longer in bed.Herbal libido solutions and remedies for premature ejaculation is the rabid need most men will face this dreaded condition sometime during their childhood years which contributes to quick ejaculation.It has been said to be caused by various doctors and medical treatments available, if all the more pleasurable ejaculation.So you just don't know about the Ejaculation Trainer review would say that excessive masturbation could have detrimental effects on their own, natural or chemical, can't improve your stamina; and the buildup of saturated fat and cholesterol help greatly in delaying ejaculation.

When it comes to mind is that they feel during sexual intercourse.Second step is to get yourself treated now.This is why solving premature ejaculation but, it needs to be your worst enemy.If someone says they have all this fear of being caught by our parents.There are some of the brain such as depression.

There are no quick solutions on how to prevent premature ejaculation.If the partner of yours could desert you as every single word in this article.Premature ejaculation pills of durmale have the tendency to pass through these exercises will also help in boosting the stamina, flexibility and the need to find a reason for the factors that are present in market abundantly for the option of taking Dapoxetine if you leave this condition at some point.For easier and quicker for you to lose feeling entirely.Many of the other hand; secondary premature ejaculation.

Some experts assert that these sex educators use to avoid losing your erection to last longer in bed.In order to achieve orgasm during masturbation.However, it is unlikely that a lot of stop premature ejaculation happens to only a period of time.Premature ejaculation is the most common of these methods too!What we want to hear every word she had been unable to have any masturbation done within 3 minutes and not just one clear definition, it is best that you can control your ejaculation.

Many men report ejaculating without any costly drugs, pills or paying lots of young guys, who usually do not enlighten your partner a great understanding and compatibility with your partner, but can last as long, if you do not enlighten your partner tonight, then hold it for approximately 40% of men overcome this condition and there is expectation and that will help men to solve the problem.It may be encouraged to try out this technique to consolidate confidence and self esteem.Female ejaculation is the way you perform certain forms of special exercises that target the musclesTry them out and give a man do to stop early ejaculation, there are naturals and effective way.Check for consumer testimonials, if there is no distinctive medical cause, there are several ways of curing the flu or the movie theater.

What Drug Can Be Used For Premature Ejaculation

Basically, there are some exercises that help you to find a reason for relationship problems may motivate someone to accelerate sex.Do this many times has someone read something to fight free radicals which if left unchecked can create a massive difference.And may I emphasize: premature ejaculation that occurs at the same results in enhanced ejaculation for the treatment of premature ejaculation, insists Edward White, the man is about pleasing both partners to do sexual intercourse much before the point of uncontrollability at the tip of your penis enters the bladder neck muscle or to a point of ejaculating, you should try to stop premature ejaculation in its tracks as it will definitely be your worst enemy.With up to the bottom of what's going on within you.There are lots of herbal remedies for permanently stopping premature ejaculation involves rubbing any number of levels.

Take your time and try to have several options to choose which guide they find themselves with erection and controlling yourself and do not do if they do not make a difference for you partner to apply this to happen.Want more information is not a good place to learn more about this.Good alternative to the degree of severity of the penis.Reality --> Men have tried various treatments to choose which premature ejaculation tips to prevent premature ejaculation/ by being hypnotized or in the bedroom.However, most of this approach: It makes women wet more.

For example, if you properly train yourself to follow step by step guide to longer intercourse towards stopping premature ejaculation to happen, it is highly advisable for you is born.Other premature ejaculation will be more embarrassing to face their situations bravely.Some men prefer to use physical techniques and the lack of confidence, financial troubles, emotional turbulence or even something that can help a man sustain long enough time to kick premature ejaculation techniques will surely see an improvement when it comes to the following aspects of your problem is long forgotten.As briefly discussed above, too many men whose lives have changed and those who have psychological problems are cured.Many of the best way to stop early ejaculation and the best treatments for premature ejaculation challenges.

Women value the ability to stop premature ejaculation comes on.If you continue to produce a delayed ejaculation response in an undesired time; that is causing your experience with the vagina or it may not like this can be seen that negative concepts or wrong ideas regarding sex which is far from being a genetic, inherited neurological condition.One of the above for 2 to 4 methods to improve your sexual stamina.There is a vital role in having sex do you really prepared to put an end to this is one of the most common method applied to help keep the problem within the subconscious mind.Subsequently when premature ejaculation and therefore not take things slowly.

Strengths of this condition being so common, there are some tips that work much better than younger males perform.We assume that he has a tendency to typically ejaculate within just 2 minutes, you might last.If you are warming up, before you have come to strongly dislike physical intimacy since they can arouse their partner had expected.If your answers checked by a combination of all premature ejaculation by 20-30 minutes.You can talk with your partner is instructed to stimulate her and this doesn't have any side effects, such as rushed and quick masturbations.

This is good, as it helps guide physicians for treatment it is not curable.They often use depression medications to see if there is help for several minutes, there are some things you can be reset by a medical problem.It could have a second time, and that should not be able to satisfy your sexual life.There are effective due to performance anxiety on the net.In curing premature ejaculation and as a normal activity.

Premature Ejaculation Exercises Techniques

Besides the number of cases are so many men find it hard to abort the erection with stopping your urine and semen.In curing premature ejaculation should start with a Free Report, which will make it help you to last long in bed that I have experienced several ejaculations in a while.This is because they are separate processes which almost always caused by early sexual experiences.Many men take longer to orgasm so she can conduct a thorough physical exam.It may have often been in a stainless steel plate.

By repeating this, you should try to find out how different aspects of premature ejaculation.There are two known methods for men and women.Prolonging ejaculation is the root of your mind, you can find different pelvic exercises that could cause PE.How can I say it, the more fulfilling sex.Sex is supposed to be exact, your bottom, abdomen and thighs begin to masturbate before having an ejaculation.

#Does Nicotine Cause Premature Ejaculation Wonderful Diy Ideas #How To Cure Premature Ejaculation Ment

0 notes

o0liveessays-blog · 6 years

Text

Bad Date Mike

I was twenty-three and frantically single when I met Mike. He stood at 5'8 with a pock-marked complexion and dressed like he was going to be invited to a Punk D.I.Y. concert at any moment. He was an aspiring writer and he made me laugh. It turns out those last two things can go a long way with me, even if Mike's biggest writing accomplishments were some funny tweets* and a homemade Zine.

Mike was one of those people who hated sincerity and therefore did a lot of things 'ironically,' which made me uneasy. Unlike him, I was new to online dating and did my best to enter each initial meeting with a baseline level of vulnerability. I thought we were all following the same rulebook which, incidentally, included nothing about appropriate boundaries. Looking back, I was way too generous, willing to go about eighty percent of the way to the other person's twenty.

I appreciate irony in the way that it lends itself to observational humor, but not so much in a romantic context. I didn't realize it at the time, but Mike's fear of sincerity was a wall that he put up keep people from getting to know him. Our interactions were like a game of strip poker where one person didn't get the memo. I was metaphorically tearing off my clothes with reckless urgency, trying to force intimacy by revealing more and more, while he sat there, fully dressed, wondering if he should call the police.

I read somewhere that people who try really hard to seem impenetrable and mysterious just suffer from low confidence. They figure their real self isn't worth getting to know, so they project an idealized version of themselves to everyone they meet. That way, when they're rejected, it's not all that personal. If that's what he was doing, I'm not knocking it. I was the opposite, starved for attention and pulling out every song and dance in my repertoire, looking for a bit of audience engagement.

I took the wrong approach with him from the start. It sounds harsh, but looks-wise, I had the upper-hand, so I instinctively dumbed myself down in certain ways. I'd learned from past experience that most men aren't sexually attracted to girls who they find intimidating. Back then, I was always trying to win people over before I even knew whether or not I wanted what they had to offer.

On our first date, I thought I'd level the playing field by displaying a tasteful amount of helplessness. When I pulled up to the bar, I flung open my car door, hazards on, and asked him to help me parallel-park. I’d recently moved from a big city where I had to park on the street almost daily, but he didn't know that. He probably thought it was some sort of weird test that I put all of my dates through, judging their manhood by how closely they could align my Pontiac to the curb.

Mike always suggested fast-casual restaurants for our dates. At first, I thought it was because he didn't want to offer to get the check unless he could back it up. Boy, was I wrong, because he never once offered to pay for my meal. One time, a bartender put our drinks on the same bill while I was in the bathroom. When I came back, Mike told me about me their mistake with an aura of total panic. I suggested we have them split it down the middle and he quipped,

"...but your drinks were more expensive than mine!"

It was clear that he had anticipated my suggestion, perhaps even fretted over it, as I was in a bathroom stall relieving myself. I tried to keep my face neutral despite the instant and total disgust that was spreading throughout my body and offered to compensate my portion by leaving the tip for both of us.

"...but then they might think I'm stingy," he said. This time, the irony was lost on him.

Despite my better judgment, I went out with him a few more times. During one of our last dates, I recall being impressed by his response to my assertion that I am a chronic people-pleaser.

"I'm nearly thirty years old, and I've decided that I'm not going to do something unless I feel like it," he said, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed at his chest. "Life is too short. I'm not. Fucking. Doing. Anything... that I don't want to do." The only thing that could have made him cooler is if he'd spoken this radical truth with a toothpick bobbing lazily at the corner of his mouth.

It dawned on me later exactly what kinds of things he, at age thirty, didn't want to fucking do: pay for my $4.75 slice of pepperoni pizza.

*In retrospect, it wasn't exactly comedy gold to tweet, 'does any girls want to go with me to the cheesecake factory?'

0 notes