#equal measures incredibly painful and incredibly heartwarming

[lynxalon]

i'm watching exu: calamity for the third fucking time and i am once again absolutely insane about these fucking characters. laerryn coramar-seelie and loquatius seelie. their whole fucking divorced-in-love mess. zerxus ilerez and his damn prophetic visions. babe what horrors do u dream of now? patia motherfucking por'co. her memory loss payroll. her list of .. "friends with bad memory" . that was fucking crazy to hear the first time and on the third i'm still reeling. nydas okiro, i cant even begin with him . he was a pirate. he lived what could only be a pirate's dream, the guildmaster of a dragon's hoard, a dragon whom he can summon and command at will. his friend's son lives with his brother and family. he puts people on patia's payroll, both conjoined in secrets, but that's not only it. he was described as holding spinning plates at all times. he was laerryn's partner and confidant on her life's work. cerrit agrupnin. the father who got his children out of an apocalyptic catastrophe. the father who kept his promise to be with them. by sheer luck or by fate's design, by the strength of his virtue and love and a father's promise. of all that he could not and did not keep, the one most important. he was an investigator so adept at his job that invisibility could not keep a person hidden from his sight. he had a ring to detect lies. he had a ring. to detect lies. loquatius . the fey who fell in love with a mortal. the reporter who spoke to the people at the end of their lives and his own and called for them to stay. to do their duty, keep their promise. no officials get to leave the people they're supposed to protect and speak for behind. and no one shall forget the most beautiful woman in the world, laerryn coramar-seelie. the woman who, in secret, strived to give her husband and her friends and her heart, her avalir, an option. the choice, to rise above and beyond. to seek the knowledge of realms and stars and all that they could ever achieve. a future so bright it was blinding. a goal so lofty, a dream so wistful. a path tread almost completely alone. and in that, history and mistrust. the gau drashari who expected the wizards to not keep their word, and thus created the circumstance in which the wizards did not know the importance of the tree of names and saw it only as a limitation. because that's all it appeared to be. and zerxus. the godless. champion of a deity-less divinity. oracle who saw visions of the lord of the hells. he saw the lord of the hells, hurting and injured. and in that being he saw redemption and a path to healing. he faced asmodeus and straight up said "oh you poor thing" afsgsjdkfkflflflgl he looked at a god and held nothing but pity for him upon seeing that he could not be redeemed. that there was such deep hatred. he was killed and revived over and over by this god. the god that he brought through into the world. . . the por'co legacy. patia, who in the end gifted her knowledge of everything truly Everything to a young maya agrupnin. and what of young kir and maya? celebrations and festivities, the anticipation of seeing their father. maya snuck out to a party to meet a girl and drink alcohol she doesn't even like, tailed by her brother who mirrored their father. kir, junior investigator, because of him, cerrit thankfully did not have to track down maya in panic. kir who received a message from his father to gather at their home. and then their father sent them away, to safety. 2/3rds of the world met calamity. how must it have felt to be a young child, everything you knew ending and dying. fuck man. that's not even everything i could fucking say about all of this i havent even broached the lord of the hells and the plot and the depth of patia's complexity with memory and knowledge and laerryn and loquatius and their open jabs and silent acts of devotion and love, zerxus and cerrit and their opposing and paralleled paths of fatherhood, nydas' and zerxus and cerrit. protectors. laerryn and patia. visionaries. loquatius. truth and hope and home.

#lynx speaks #long post #i'm. i'm sooooooooo insane about exu shit forreal i'm soooooooo . AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #cerrit only getting to know his children through the things in their bedroom after he'd gotten them to safety. #fuck bro. #even if u've NEVER seen critical role stuff please for the love of everything watch exu: calamity #four episodes they are fairly long but it's one of the best stories #equal measures incredibly painful and incredibly heartwarming #it will likely end in tears #because there is so much heart and earnestness put into this #AND OMG MOTHERFUCKING VESPIN CHLORAS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #gosh. the speech. THE SPEECH #the voice wobble. the market of wonders ad. the most beautiful woman in the world. the msot beautiful. #he stayed. the high warqueen lady elmenore called the children of the seelie court back home and he stayed #and she told him 'i would rather my heart break and yours remain whole.' #he stayed with his mortal love.

[snowbellewells]

CS Fic Rec Monday: Fics I Loved in 2019/// October - December

So here we are, the last list of 2019 fics! I wasn’t sure I would get them done each week, but I did it! (And I think several of you seemed to enjoy :) Thanks!)  I apologize for not having this posted sooner, but everything rebooted just as I was getting nearly done, and I lost my entire post in progress!

Anyway, here we go with the fics from October to the end of the year...

Seeing as how October brought all things a bit spooky and Halloween-y, it seemed only right to start this list out with a fic from the @csrolereversal event that I simply adore: “A House is Never Still” by: @capnjay21  This fic is completely unique and full of such a great blend of mystery, angst, backstory, and thrills that I was completely sucked in from the very first chapter. I’ve gotten woefully behind, as I know there is at least one chapter update I haven’t gotten to read yet, but it is so well-written and creative, you will absolutely be enthralled!

Another awesomely spooky story is “An American Haunting” by: @welllpthisishappening  I loved this modern AU take on Emma, Killian, and many of the rest of our OuaT favorites as workers at an American historical village, and their encounter with a very real (and vengefull!) ghost. Plus, there’s plenty of secreative flirting and pining as well, since Emma and Killian like each other, but haven’t yet admitted it. ;)

October also brought us the @cspupstravaganza which allowed us to have several stories starring our pirate and princess alongside various adorable versions of man’s best friend. All of these fics deserve a read, but I especially loved: “Captain Morgan” by: @pirateherokillian, “Twelve Legged Matchmaker” by: @shireness-says, “...between a rock and a bark place” by: @thisonesatellite and “Arm’d with Hell Flames and Fury all at Once” by: @darkcolinodonorgasm. 

@profdanglaisstuff also wrote an incredibly funny and irresistible CS with a dog fic (that I thought was part of @cspupstravaganza, but I guess not!) called “Release the Kraken”.  This one had me both giggling and melting at the sweetness - don’t miss it!

“Drift” by: @thisonesatellite is a one shot which just blew me away with the emotion and the healing worked into the modern au verse of it. Emma and Killian’s finding each other and slowly connecting and allowing each other to be less alone in the world is just beautiful. I really can’t say enough about how gorgeous and affecting it is. If you missed this one, please do yourself a favor and read it now. <3

“Until the Stars are all Alight” by: @whimsicallyenchantedrose was another excellent AU MC I began to enjoy in these last months of 2019. It was an entry to @cssns19 and mixes together two of my very favorite things: Lord of the Rings and Once Upon a Time in a thrilling crossover. This has questing, romance, angst and adventure in equal measures, and is so well-done all around. It is a WIP, but I have never known Jennifer to leave an MC unfinished, so I know you won’t be disappointed!!

“Not Your (Soul)Mate” by: @let-it-raines probably doesn’t really need my introduction, but just in case you didn’t see the modern AU take on soulmates for the @cssns, definitely read it now! I love how awkwardly humorous the way Emma and Killian’s soulmate status makes itself known (even the two of them definitely do not!) Not only that, but the comic element mixes in real emotion as they try to fight destiny to really make the piece more meaningful. Plus, Killian as a doting uncle is not to be missed either! ;)

Fandom Birthday Playlist by: @searchingwardrobes  I did tell you there would be entries from this collection on every list, didn’t I? Melanie really excelled with this mission she set herself - so many engaging and fitting fics for fandom friends, and the three on this list are some of the best yet! You’ll totally fall for Killian as a young minister looking for someone to love him for himself in “Raging Fire”, with Killian and Emma as a young Lieutenant Duckling helping each other through a painful trial in “Burn the Ships”, and with single father Killian and lost amnesiac Emma in “Start of Time”.

“the unexpected life” by: @thisonesatellite An author!Killian/librarian!Killian, adorable Captain Cobra, and a hesitant-but-drawn-to-him Emma -- what more could we really ask for as readers?  This story is beautiful and heartwarming and all the good things the best fics are. I love how this Killian and Emma move from acquaintances to friends to loves to eventually a wonderful family with Henry.

“Drink the Wild Air” by: @profdanglaisstuff  I just love EF AUs with dashing sailor Killian and young princess Emma, and this gives us that very thing in gorgeous fashion. Both the adventure and the romance are excellent in this one, and though it is still a WIP, you will love and simply devour every bit of it posted so far -- I can almost guarantee it!!

“Four Eyes” by: @welllpthisishappening  Oh my goodness, this helping of sweet papa Killian, fighting a bit with admitting he’s aging when he finds out that he needs glasses right along with he and Emma’s little girl, is just beyond perfect!  There are references to The Great Gatsby (a sure way into my affections!) an adorably exasperated Emma and lovably realistic fluff galore. 

“The Swan of Misthaven” by: @slow-smiles Oh my! This is an EF Captain Duckling AU that will absolutely steal your heart - and in truth the final part of a larger collection of one shots called “My Princess, My Pirate” by this author.  They’re all worth reading, and again, I am a little late to the party, so maybe most folks know about this fic already. Still what a thrilling adventure plot - and some great moments of pirate Killian slowly winning over Snow and Charming as they all fight for the princess they love!

“Across the Snowy Places”  by: @profdanglaisstuff  There truly aren’t enough Thanksgiving fics in this fandom, and that made me love this five part offering all the more. I love the pretend relationship trope and how efficiently Saira uses it here. The pining and the chemistry between Emma and Killian is off the charts and SO well done!!  I got such a kick out of the cast of characters she surrounded them with too, and just how amazingly they come together for good in the end!

“Tell Me It’s Real (it’s real)” by: @let-it-raines This one plays with the same trope as the story before it. Best friends Emma and Killian pose as a couple to appease her family over the holidays, but their feelings keep threatening to upset the whole ploy and reveal how much more they both want. Plus, there’s Liam visiting his “little” brother as well as a wonderful rendition of David and MM. The angst and the pining and the steamy moments “for show” just make this one - even before things work into their eventual happy resolution!

“The Perfect Gift” by: @terreisa  This is a modern au featuring CS as office co-workers that just charms you from beginning to end! Emma thinks she doesn’t want anything to do with the handsome Brit at the desk next to hers, but after a holiday gift exchange run by meddling matchmaker Mary Margaret, she begins to realize he isn’t who she believed him to be. This is seriously a gift for the reader, and you’ll love every word!! <3

“Hashtag Holiday Party” by: @shireness-says  No exaggeration here when I say that I start cackling with laughter whenever I think of this story. Devon does such a great job painting the worst kind of first date at a holiday party and how Emma deals with it. Luckily Killian and Belle are at the same party as well (as friends) and Emma finds that while the date was a bust, the party itself might not have been a waste at all... ;)

“To Keep it All the Year” by: @profdanglaisstuff​   This story reminds me exactly why I love a good Christmas story - the heart and good will found within it will truly warm your heart. The Killian we meet at the start of this is angry and alone and has nothing left, but then he meets Emma (and Henry) and he begins to see a way forward. I don’t want to spoil all the heart-tugging and glorious moments as the story progresses, but if you missed this around the holidays, please go back and read it now!!

“We Kill the Flame” by: @thisonesatellite​  Seriously, if you haven’t been reading this WIP futuristic MC, then put down whatever you’re doing, and go start it ASAP!  This one will take your breath away with the pulse-pounding action, the high stakes, and the risks Emma and Killian go through for each other and for the tiniest chance at grasping a better life. The whole roster of characters are perfectly cast, and the plot is amazing! So original, so well-done... you won’t even want to blink until you’ve swallowed each chapter whole  -- it’s that intensely good!

#cs fic rec monday #csfrm #fics I loved in 2019 #october to december #cs ff #cs fic recs #sorry so late this week!