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daughter-of-sapph0 · 2 years

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predictions for 2022

-queen Liz kicks the bucket (bonus points if she's already dead but they won't officially say she is until February)

-the Mario movie is a box office failure, and Chris Pratt has his legacy ruined.

-Jeff bezos dies in a rocket explosion on his way to his space yatch

-Facebook / meta has its servers hacked and people lose access to their virtual house that they spent thousands on.

-extension to the last one: general public realize that nfts and metaverse and crypto and creating the matrix is stupid as hell. the vr market faces a crash similar to the video game crash of 83.

-Lego Star Wars The Skywalker Saga is a better game than any other Star Wars game before it. the other Star Wars game by quantic dream flops, and they go bankrupt.

-Joe Biden has a senior moment and Kamala Harris takes over as president for a couple days, rather than just 80 minutes when biden had a camera up his ass

-Texas faces another power outage because literally nothing changed in the last year. people start a riot and protest outside of the mansions of electricity ceos.

-a commercial from the super bowl spikes international outrage after using imagery from the 2020 BLM protests to try and sell Pepsi

-international trade is interrupted by another Evergiven level event.

-three new variants of covid are discovered by scientists in Brazil, but the variants are most common in France. the us bans travel from Brazil, but not from France.

-China wins the most gold at the winter Olympics. some guy on fox claims they had an unfair advantage because they were communist (accidents mixes up his transphobic and anti-communist arguments). a meme is started that communism makes you good at sports

-the year overall turns out better than the past four years combined, and it's joked that burning down the gavle yule goat broke the curse.

-summer heatwave causes damage for infrastructure and some republican politicians houses literally being to melt. they then suddenly begin to care about climate change.

-spacex and tesla lose most of their stock after elon musk retweets traced furry porn. news articles make a bigger deal about the image being stolen then they do about the subject matter of the image, which is the correct response to that situation

-Nintendo adds Gameboy games to the switch online service. it's sold as a separate package like the n64 games, and costs twice as much as the n64. they also release a stupid fucking controller that's just a Gameboy with a non-functioning screen. they charge $50 for it.

-an indie fan game that was part of a weekend game jam wins game of the year, because everything else was shit.

-breath of the wild sequel gets delayed.

-reddit sells out and becomes all "family friendly" or whatever. tumblr and discord are the only places left where you can say the word "kill" without censoring it to "unalive".

-microscopic life is discovered on an asteroid in our solar system by ISRO / India Space Program. racist space bros get mad that spacex didn't discover it first.

-elon musk uses DNA modification or whatever to make the nft monkey real.

-Disney anounces their 24th first LGBT character.

-star wars anounces a live action clone wars show focusing on the clones, staring Temuera Morrison as 80% of the cast.

-George Bush dies of covid. hundreds of millions of people celebrate.

#dostxt #2022 predictions

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eiirisworkshop · 3 years

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DragonCon Gothic: 2021

(Sequel to this.)

-Loki is everywhere.

-You keep saying “last year” but you mean the 2019 con. Everyone understands. Everyone else is doing it too.

-Scooters clog the sidewalks. You hate them. You are tempted by them.

-A ducky squeaks nearby.

-Most people are in masks, some begrudgingly, some casually—some have incorporated masks into their cosplay so beautifully the costume is incomplete without it.

-A battalion of stormtroopers pass. You wonder if their helmets are CDC approved face coverings. You imagine wearing a mask under a helmet. You’re glad you’re not a stormtrooper.

-You ask a question at a panel. The panelist looks you in the eye and says, “No, you should just kill people.” You can’t help but agree. This is a writing panel.

-You can tell exactly who spent all quarantine working on their cosplay. You know they still finished it last night.

-You are in a panel. The person in front of you is dressed all in the Marriott Carpet, from facemask to shoes. You cannot remember how long it’s been since the Marriott had that carpet—you know many con goers now have never walked upon it. You cannot remember what the carpet looks like now. You are in the Marriott. You look down at the floor. You look up again as the panelist speaks. You have already forgotten what the carpet looks like now.

-There is a family of Marriott carpet dinosaurs. The dinosaurs are in cosplay.

-You are waiting for MARTA. You are not at Peachtree Center. You are in full cosplay. Down the platform is a girl with pink hair. And a sword. You catch her eye, she nods. You nod back.

-You are waiting for a panel. Nearby, a track leader is arguing with another member of staff. Rooms are down to 2/3 capacity. According to the hotel, the room your panel is in holds 300. It’s set up to hold 82. The track leader keeps insisting that 2/3 of 300 is not 82.

-You have seen 5 shirtless male cosplayers within 3 minutes. Only 2 are characters who don’t usually wear shirts. Maybe it’s just summer in the South and the cosplayers have gotten smarter, or maybe the men really have gotten sluttier over quarantine.

-A mother is dressed as Misty from Pokémon, her baby is togapi strapped to her chest. Ash follows behind them with a diaper bag.

-A father is Din Djarin, the Mandalorian, his baby is Grogu strapped to his chest. Cara Dune follows behind them with a diaper bag.

-Apparently, everyone dyed their hair blue over quarantine.

-You have never seen so many men in the Starfleet minidresses. They really did get sluttier over quarantine. You’re happy for them.

-A woman in an extravagant ballgown walks into the bathroom with three other people. They are there to hold her skirts.

-You are at an audience participation panel. The moderator calls on Loki. The eight Lokis in the room all look at each other before asking for clarification.

-Harley Quinn rides by on a scooter.

-Walking through the food court is Weird™️.

-There are several plague doctors on the train. Two are in bird-nosed masks and hoods. They are going to the con. The rest are in scrubs and N95s. They are going to work.

-Every panel starts with “welcome back.”

-It’s been two years. You’ve forgotten your hard learned lessons. You wear the cool looking shoes. You relearn your lesson.

-Spider-Man’s suit rips. He summons a Cosplay Medic armed with needle, thread, duct tape, and battery powered Ryobi hot glue gun. Four more people with cosplay problems descend on the Medic. He fixes everything, using materials in ways they are not intended to be used.

-A man in a brown trenchcoat and Converse approaches a man in a red cape and blue scrubs in a skybridge. “Doctor,” the man in the cape says, nodding. “Doctor,” the man in the trenchcoat says.

-The shawarma place is covered in Avengers memes, as it should be.

-Someone is dressed as the Evergiven. They are blocking the skybridge. You’re not even mad.

-At least a dozen Harley Quinns pass by in ten minutes. They’re all going the same direction. You wander what the group noun for Harleys is.

-The group noun for Lokis is a mischief.

-There is no wait to get into the dealers room. It’s Weird™️.

-A small child cries, overwhelmed in dealers. The child can’t be much more than a year old. They’ve probably never seen this many people in their life, of course they’re overwhelmed. You haven’t seen this many people in what feels like a lifetime. You are overwhelmed. You buy a plushy.

-Two Lokis pass on the street. “Hi, me!” greets one. “Variant,” the other says with disdain, then smiles.

-The Hard Rock is by reservation only.

-You see an amazing cosplay. You desperately want to compliment it. You cannot remember the name of the character. The cosplayer walks away before you can call it to mind. You walk the opposite direction. You remember the name.

-The moderator attempts to begin the panel—there is immediate squealing feedback. Everyone cringes so hard you can see it through the masks.

-There is someone in a sportsball jersey and a Joker mask.

-You do not have the Con Crud. Through learning to guard against COVID, you have learned to defeat the Crud. Your cosplays will include masks from now on.

-Monday, in some ways the con begins to die down, in other ways it goes on. Feathers, badge ribbons, and a surgical mask tumble down the street. Life goes back to….whatever passes for normal these days.

-You are so glad to have been back.

#dragoncon gothic #dragon con #dragoncon #dragoncon 2021 #dragon con 2021 #Eiiri made this

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