#every time i see this i get so confused bc i think theyre on sand

[peroxideprinces]

vocaloid? i would like to know :]

this is a v big can of worms you r openin rn <3 DJKLFJLKFDS

so vocaloid !!! voice synthesizers !!! singers give samples of their voice n uhhh the samples r used to make a vocaloid !!!! n then those vocaloids r more often than not given an avatar n sold so producers can make songs w them !!!! thats the basic overview of what a vocaloid is :D (NOT TO B CONFUSED W UTAU !!! THEY R V V SIMILAR EXCEPT UTAU IS FREE N YOU CAN CREATE YOUR OWN !!!)

there r some v popular vocaloid mascots like hatsune miku, kagemine rin n len, n megurine luka (all made by crypton !) the cryptonloids (see three before; kaito, n meiko (first two japanese vocaloids)), gumi, ia, n gakupo r some of the most popular loids !!!!

miku has a japanese, english, n chinese voicebank as well as many other appends !!!

rin n len have japanese n english voicebanks as well as appends, same w gumi, meiko, n kaito (except meiko n kaito dont have any appends .)

luke has a japanese n english voicebank !!! she was the first vocaloid w both an english n a japanese vocaloid !!!

gakupo only has japanese voicebanks n i think hes only been released for v2, v3, n v4 but i could be wrong !!!

ia has i think japanese voicebanks ??? her english voicebank was released a couple years ago i think n HOLY SHIT ITS SO REALISTIC ITS KINDA SCARY ???

miku obviously has probably the most iconic songs but i think there r a few producers that use her well like ???

deco*27 (see here, here, n here), mitchie m (see here, here, n here), n supercell (see here, here, n here) r a few examples !! most of the popular miku songs r produced by one of these three !!!

theres also a few others that r v v good like matryoshka, sand planet, n shake it !!! theres a lot m missin bc shes used So Much but shes fun !!!

rin n len r used together a lot bc theyre "mirror images" (twins basically) n voiced by the same person FKJLSDKJFDLS len has a common theme in every story song where he dies or bein v v sexual (the kagamines r 14 btw :/) n rin is either v cute or the literal devil !

some songs w them together r bring it on, this cover of electric angel, n the servant of evil series (not gonna link it bc the evillious chronicles is,,, so fuckin much,,, i dont ever wanna get into it,,,,) !

uhhh too lazy to link any more here so um !!! good rin songs r meltdown, girl a, melancholic, tengaku, n kokoro !!

some good len songs r holy lance explosion boy (sacred spear explosion boy ? idk one of those two titles), paradichlorobenzene, butterfly on your (my ?) right (left ?) shoulder, that one ponponpon cover, n nakakapagpabagabag !!

kaito n meiko !!! they arent used together v often (meiko isnt used for A Lot ://) but they were released around the same time !!! they were the first japanese vocaloids ever (leon, lola, n miriam were the first three loids n they all were english) !!!

they dont have the best soundin voices in the world bc they arent used v well all the time but there r some really really good songs w them !!! for meiko id say that one cover of the snow white princess is, nostalgic, change me, n evil food eater conchita (again, the evillious chronicles is A Lot) !! kaito id say doctor=funk beat, believe, cantarella, n 1/4 !!!!

luka was the first vocaloid that could speak two languages n was so popular when she was released like . she was more popular than miku at one point . n i think she is v v cool !!!

she has v good english songs like circus monster, lie, n last of me; as well as some good japanese songs like blackjack, double lariat, n luka luka night fever !!

gumi has so many voicebanks its unbelievable,,, fun fact ! gumi has the most voicebanks out of any loid !! she has 17 !!!

shes used a lot n has so so many good songs its hard to only name a few but i will anyway fdkjlasfjkls uhhhh literally any hachi song usin her (matryoshka, donut hole, n panda hero as examples), coward montblanc, mozaik role, copycat, ten-faced, echo, any kira song (examples: circles, monster, n machine gun), the foxs weddin, again, n any ghost song usin her (examples: the chatterin lack of common sense, those who carried on, housewife radio) !!!

another fun fact ! gumi had her own rhythm game (shes not a cryptonloid so she wasnt in project diva) !!! its kinda shit !!!!

ia n gakupo i know Less ab . ia has a sister named one n shes fun ! gakupo has a crush on gumi in the nico nico cho parties !

other than that i dont know a lot ab them or songs featurin them dfksljafkldj ia has a tale of six trillion years n a night, a realistic logical ideologist, n higher !!!

the only gakupo song i know is the madness of the duke of venomania (also in the evillious chronicles . there is so much lore there hgoly shit,,, n the songs mentioned r only the ones in the seven deadly sins part !!!)

#there r so many other loids i wanna talk ab but this is probably already too much fdjlkslfajk sorry #i have so much info ab these mfs after seven years i- #i was hyperfixated on gumi for a lil bit can you tell #IF YOU WANNA KNOW ANYTHIN . ANYTHIN . PLEASE TELL ME I LOVE TALKIN AB THESE GUYS !!!! #may b i will talk ab the spanish loids or the engloids or the chinese loids or the korean loids..... there r so many i could talk ab #ooooo you wanna keep indulgin me soooooo baddddddd /j

[mousehole5000]

more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo

PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss

“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” “oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!

i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su

“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL

“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!

“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood

okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol

“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL

“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.

“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities

“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?” “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to

LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....

“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN

“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real

BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!

“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian

“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. ”Ol’ Pei, what a man!” Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!

okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.

“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.

“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked. “No,” Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.” Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.” “Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked. “We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night

jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal

awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(

“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....

okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh

“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said. “It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems

xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh

“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song

“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!” “I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks

everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride

“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand

read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”

okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!

#tgcf liveblog #bedtime now but im excited to be moving on #mouse mumbles

[merrilldidnothingwrong]

Chapter 1

(herah is my current adaar inky, they use they pronouns. sorry if its confusing. writing is not my talent lol. And this is just fillers in game. ill probably go off canon at some point bc it sucks so bad. idk if there will be smut later, probably)

https://fuckbioware.tumblr.com/post/183430818477/3-things-oc-meme

Herah stood on the stairs overlooking Skyholds courtyard, it was night time. It felt like it was always nighttime. They liked it here, they did feel safer but they still had memories of Haven flashing in their mind. The inquisition soldiers dead bodies scattered all throughout the grounds.

Fires, the screaming of people searching for help. They couldn't save them all, though they   tried. Every time they closed their eyes, they could see and hear it all over again.

They had taken a dark turn ever since arriving at Skyhold.

They thought back to a few months ago when they woken up to be chained and questioned by who they learned later to be Cassandra and Leliana.

They always had a way of finding the light side of everything but knew in that moment not to. Cassandra wanted to rip them to shreds, and Leliana was the only one preventing that from happening.

They didnt see a large quanri, someone to be feared. They saw someone as the reason their Divine was dead. They wanted answers. Herah didn't have any.

Herah was freed and forced to fight until they woke up what they found out later to be 3 days later. They missed the mercenary life, it was rarely this brutal. They missed their companions.

After meeting the leaders of the inquisition, they talked to Varric. Herah immediately liked him, he didn't hold back letting his feelings known. They liked how he got under Cassandras skin. Herah thought Cassandra was a strong woman, gorgeous, and scary. Traits they admired. But their meeting was less than ideal.

They didnt yet to what make of Solas, theyd never met another elf like him. No markings, always talking about the fade. They didn't know how he could be so calm in this moment, but they appreciated it. Everyone else was scrambling, stressed to get to the breach.

"inquisitor" a soldier passing by said to Herah, snapping them back into the present.

Cassandra, Solas and Cole had just returned from Crestwood and Herah was making plans to head to the Western Approach to meet Hawke and Alistair.

***

Herah sat in the sun, hoping they'd finally get warm. They were surprised how cold it was, given how it was a desert and there was very little shade. 

"Too bad Dorian isn't here", Sera giggled, "hed complain about being cold. Swearing in vint about southerners."

"I'm surprised you didn't bring your boyfriend, Blackwall boss. He would have loved it. All the darkspawn, he'd be putty in your hands. Well, MORE than you already are" he chuckled.

Herah smiled, they enjoyed being poked fun at. Reminded them theyre just another flawed person. Not some high and mighty inquisitor to be bowed down to. "Are you guys saying you're not having a good time? After all i've given to you"? They pointed to all the desert. "So ungrateful!"

Everyone laughed at that, well except Chuckles as Varric accurately nicknamed him. He was walking around, seemingly deep in thought.

Herah was surprised at his reaction to talking to Erimond, he hadn't been angry until that very moment when he heard the Grey Wardens were going after the Old Gods. Herah filed it in their mind to talk to him about it later. For right now he was enjoying Sera and Bull's company.

Sera found a stick somewhere and was drawing in the sand,  random scribles until she had a brilliant idea. "its a butt!!" she pointed and laughed. Herah got up and put two dots in the butt. "now its boobs!" Sera laughed harder, and further drawing a figured body. 

Bull looked over at the drawing "hey i know her, she works at the tavern". Herah rolled their eyes "a red head. Mmm, red heads", he said glaring at their red hair. He winked, or maybe not? it was hard to tell with the eye patch. It took them a moment to realize they had red hair, were they blushing? They ran their hands through their red hair, feeling a bit awkward.

Sera saw the moment between them and couldn't resist interrupting. "you know, I'm surprised you're talking to us, Lady Herald" in her best taunting voice.

Herah was more confused about Bull's intended, flirting? than interested. He was the only other quanri and saw him more as a protector, since they are a mage and he is a warrior. They hadn't considered him romance material.

Sera words pierced them in the gut. "What?"

"Oh you know, you're avoiding us. Well, not Vivienne or that...... thing, cole"

"Oh..." Herah felt bad. They hadn't thought of it that way but yeah, they were distracted. Had been since arriving in Skyhold.

They looked down at the ground, kicking the sand. "I.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I've just been.."

"Busy getting your ass kicked by a giant red darkspawn...... thing" Bull interrupted.

Herah looked at him, grateful, smiling with their lips as well as their eyes.

"Yeah". They sighed, and looking at Sera who was squirming seeing another moment between them. "But still, I'm sorry Sera. I don't mean to hurt you. It's why I brought you. This whole.." they looked at their glowing left hand "..thing, has been one disaster after another." They looked at both Bull and Sera. "but you.. both of you, keep me sane. it's why I brought you".

Herah hadn't talked to them much one on one before, just a couple times at Haven and they were both surprised to hear the fondness of their voice.

"But why the egg?" Sera asked half heartidly.

They looked over at pacing Solas. "I, I don't know really. I just had a feeling i would learn something about him."

"Did you?" Bull asked.

"Yeah, I think so" they smiled, though he's still a mystery.

****

The next morning, all of them gathered and took Griffin Wing Keep for the Inquisition. Bull loved killing those venatori bastards. They all did, but Bull got the most pleasure out of it. Herah was glad they brought him.

"Shall we knock?" Herah asked after finishing off the guards outside the Keep.

"Ohh yeah" Bull replied with such joy in his tone.

They marked tasks to unlock at the war table, headed to Exiled Plains and back to Skyhold.

#im not clever enough for a title #this is probably bad sorry #if anyone has constructive criticsm pls lm #lmk* #it sucks doesnt help lol #herah adaar #herah adaar chapter 1 #ok to rb #if not terrible lol

[nebulous-walkabout]

sands of identity falling thru an hourglass

driving past danny bonaduce’s house everyday looking at the uncut grass and dereliction that was his property and feeling the dread that the life of the washed up dj on '104.3 the golden oldies' in chicago is one of the first emotions i remember feeling tied to music. the stale decaying music that got played over and over for people that wouldnt try anything new, to me seemed destructive and soul crushing. thats generally where we first experience music though, in the back seat of our parents car. and my mom loved the oldies. of course it wasnt until a decade later when he would come out as a crackhead on celebrity rehab that it really made sense why the red headed kid from the partridge family wouldnt mow his lawn. for some reason that i cannot find though, this feeling i got when i would drive past his house with my mom while listening to his radio show, is still the feeling i get when i hear most old music. my musical taste is shaped by what i would absorb in my first few years on earth. they were a strange time for me, like most awkward kids. and we moved a few times, like most awkward kids. but we also moved stratospherically thru the socioeconomic structure when i was too young to understand it. when i was 6 or 7 in the first house i remember, we got a bose cd player and i discovered my parents cds. one of the first ones i remember playing over and over was smashing pumpkins' mellon collie and infinite sadness. i remember springsteen albums everywhere. live. even 4 non-blondes. rolling stones. that stuff laid the foundation for how i would unconsciously receive music and form my own taste. of course after you discover your parents music, you hunt out your own. and in the early 90's that was all about MTV. sure when youre 8 you dont understand it. but you know what other people think is cool. and i think that was the point. i dont know how the older kids consumed their mtv, but i can tell you 90's kids and later were all told exactly what they should like and listen to by VJ's we wish we were still dressing like. thats what informed us. taught us what kind of music we should explore, so later when we were old enough to peruse the aisles of tower records alone we could actually find what we like. the thing that made mtv better than the radio early on was it was selling an entire culture, not just pop hits. all sorts of atrocities from the faux fashion world of 1994 were pushed into the minds of millions of kids who let it define their childhoods. from mtv you found the sound, then you went out and tried to find it again in something else. after school most days i would hang out at my neighbor's house, he was older and actually my brothers friend, but i remember coming into possession of a Green Jelly CD at his house one day and my world changed. it was something i thought was uniquely for me, but how could it be? thats what music was about back then, buying into the idea that youre cool for liking this thing that everyone else likes too. quickly after that you start in on green day, and you love dookie, but you love it more because you think the secret song is just for you. and its a treat. and you use the music to make you louder. and you scream. but everyone is screaming. and no one else can hear you. i remember where i was when the news came on and told the world kurt cobain died. i was in the living room being forced to eat macaroni and cheese by my older cousin. i can still remember the carpet, but not the furniture. and its not so much that as a nine year old that i cared so much that kurt cobain died, because as a kid you dont really know who he is, you just know hes nirvana and hes cool. and your parents want to keep you away from the tv bc they dont want you thinking about hot guys killing themselves. fine. but that only made you like nirvana even more. then thats the sound. all i ever knew was that i really liked loud music, and thats all i ever liked. you start hating that youve been listening to B96 with all the girls that would grow up to be wannabe valley girls. you run around thinking you like music before you really know what it is. your identity at this age starts to be formed by it, although at this age its formed around the cool shit you do on your bikes when youre with youre friends. it relies upon how long you hold the controller before you die and have to let your friends play whatever video game you just got.

and then you move. youre alone. youve gone from this world you knew, and had a place in, to a very different place. for me it was even stranger, moving from a normal neighborhood with friends next door, to a place where you couldnt see your neighbors house, and your friends were always a car ride away. the houses were huge. the land was massive. and youre alone in the center of both. you become dependent on finding ways to occupy yourself. you start making your own mixtapes off the radio. you continue to make them better, tape over the songs youre tired of. you steal your older brother cd's. and then my parents had one of these giant motorized satelite dishes installed. it got everything. my new source of new kinds of music was movies on tv. movies like bio-dome changed my musical course. you hear a different kind of punk. and sure now you look back and its shitty, but back then it represented a change. and you felt good, and you want to be pauly shore with stephen baldwins terrible dreadlocks. and you want to dye your skin blue and skydive strapped into a drum kit. so you start taking drum lessons. and then you realize youre the weird kid. i didnt care. i liked what i liked, i didnt fit in with the way the rest of the rich kids liked to be. sure i had friends, but i had more than enough time to sit at home alone and absorb the world i thought i wanted to be a part of. for the last couple years before the internet descended from the heavens my musical taste was almost entirely forged by movie soundtracks. empire records, dazed and confused, and trainspotting. ever since then the joy i feel watching a movie depends almost exclusively on what im hearing behind the the people talking. my choice of movie relies on music, and to some extent the reverse is true as well, although i can enjoy music without a movie, but i cant enjoy a movie without music. this is something that has remained true throughout the rest of my life up until today.  in fact, thinking back, it is probably the reason i love so many terrible movies, because if it has a good soundtrack i dont really care how bad the story is. i would find myself more and more trying to find music from movies when walking the aisles at tower. i always wished i had a tower closer to my house, so my trips were not as frequent as i would have liked. instead often times i was marooned at home watching the golden age of music video technology. a period in time where who was making what video was news. the last couple years of mtv's usefulness was a weird time, in that trl and the rest of its programming was pointing us all towards a very specific set of music and videos again. it was like we jumped back in time 10 years and all we were given access to was the top 10, just like the radio had been doing for years. but then something changed. and it was everything. all the sudden your reach was limitless with a computer. all of the sudden it didnt matter that i was sitting alone at home. i had a computer, and for the first couple years the music came to me at 56.6kbps over the phone. i would sit up in the office under my moms painting studio on the other side of the house and just watch those status bars slowly fill in while i waited for my music. there was no limit. you would hear bands on mtv, early in the morning or late at night, or youd watchsnl or conan or kilborn. you never knew any of the bands but they informed your musical zeitgeist. and after you heard something you would know if it was 'it' or not, and if it was, you put it in queue to download. next thing you know youre listening to narcotic by liquido. your infinite musical catalog in the year 2000 was only limited by one thing: your drive to find new music. and so thats the way its been for almost 20 years. with endless new music at my fingertips, im still always floored by certain songs that i love but almost never hear anymore. part of the joy comes from knowing people would laugh at me if they came across me listening to certain things i like. in most cases these songs are terrible and im in the minority for loving them but theyre a part of me. and if you can listen to 'give it up' by cut'n'move without getting into it, youre a robot. by the time i was a teenager i was just another white kid living in a whitewashed world all day, anytime i left my room i was surrounded by people walking around with starched collars. but at home and in my car i could listen to my music as loud as i wanted, i made an obnoxious effort to let people know i was them. i would drive around in a range rover, with the harmon/kardon sub in the back turned up all the way, didnt matter where i was, school, the park, practice, the country club, they all heard what i was listening to, it didnt matter if it was pearl jams' crazy mary or the st lunatics. our world changed when our ability to freely pick out our own music tailored by our own tastes and informed by exposure to stuff like thestraightdope.com or whoever's music was playing in the background of kurt loders news updates. since then ive used peoples taste in music against them. it wasnt that i really cared what they listened to as much as what they wouldnt listen to. its a good barometer in my eyes. people that cant discern good music for themselves generally cant do much at all on their own. its my firm belief that if youre open about not liking something then you should at least have a reason. were living in a time where every thing you see or do is interrupted by someone trying to sell you on their idea.  the freedoms to be yourself appear to again be fleeting. the last bastion of personal freedom is quickly becoming monetized in a way it hasnt been before. the same way mtv turned into the channel that plays teenage mom all day, people are finding ways to sell people the same generic package again. you have to fight hard to find your personal space in this world and be yourself. while my musical taste is a representation of me and me alone, its sort of like a batch of cookies. my cookie might have more chocolate chips but all the dough came from the same bowl.

#music #writing #need notes #proofreading #no one even reads these