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neil-gaiman · 2 years

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Hi Mr Gaiman,

I just watched episode 6 of The Sandman and really loved the portrayal of death. Before the pandemic I was always sad when my patients died, and sadder still for the people they left behind, but I could handle it knowing that I made their passing easier and was there for their families. When death said that she gave them "a friendly face at the end of their journey, just as they had at the start" it really resonated with me. That is essentially what we nurses do, and often after caring for someone repeatedly over the years the last thing we do for someone is to help them through their final transition. The way death held those people's hands and guided them to the afterlife made me thing of all the times I've held a persons hand as they left the mortal realm. I like to think of death taking their hand from mine and escorting them to the afterlife.

I have to admit since the pandemic, I've been struggling with death. I worked on a ward that primarily cared for post-COVID lung transplants. I saw so many people die before their time, and die so horribly. Worse still, we would fight and fight and think we were making headway only to have them snatched away unexpectedly. I've been off work for 7 months with PTSD and I'm not sure if I can ever return. I miss nursing, I've made an important difference in so many lives and I'm not ready to give that up. Without it, I feel like my life has no purpose, but every time I am faced with death old wounds open up. I couldn't even watch that episode of The Sandman without crying. Heck, if I'm honest, I'm crying writing this now.

How do I become OK with death again? Intellectually I know it is a natural part of life and I've always been so good dealing with it but that part of me seems to be broken. I need something that can soothe my pain on an emotional level, something that can help me find peace with the pain and loss. I'm not a religious person and trite answers like people "going to a better place" doesn't mitigate the sheer unfairness of the pain of those left behind and lives unfairly cut short. How can I get to a place that lets me do what I love again??

Crying probably helps. So does taking a break, if you can, from that part of your job, until you are ready to return. Sometimes it gets to you, and it’s obviously got to you, and that’s not anything to feel guilty about. Death is big and loss is real. Finding someone to talk to is good too, if you can.

My friend Hayley Campbell wrote a book about Death. She went into it because she loved the subject. She talked to people who deal daily with death in all its aspects. And then one day she saw a baby’s body about to be autopsied and it broke her. I think in some ways she’s still putting herself back together.

(The book is All the Living and the Dead, it’s not for the squeamish although I’m pretty squeamish and I survived, and it made me cry a few times.

Here is an Amazon link. If you are interested, get it from your local bookshop if you can. It may help you to feel less alone, although I don’t know if it will heal what is hurting you. Perhaps only time can do that.)

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warsofasoiaf · 4 years

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Uh. I checked the character count, and this is going to end up long. My friend sent me something, and while I'm sure it's wrong, I don't know enough about medieval battles to dispute it. Can you help? Part one of many

He held storms end against a siege. From what information there is he seems to have done this well. I don’t know if he employed a scorched earth strategy before the siege began (if he didn’t then a rescind my compliment). The siege showed little in terms of tactical or strategic prowess on the part of Stannis but his will power was commendable and eating last was (part 1)

The siege showed little in terms of tactical or strategic prowess on the part of Stannis but his will power was commendable and eating last was a good morale booster (though he likely didn’t do this for the moral). Still, if the Tyrells had decided to storm the castle he would have lost. The battle shows more incompetence on the part of Mace than prowess on the part of Stannis (part 2)

He captured Dragonstone. There is very little mentioned about the specifics of the engagement. It is highly unlikely that there was a contested landing as the defenders lacked the numbers and morale for such a move and there is very little precedent for a contested landing in the historical time period that ASoIaF is based on. He likely arrived at the castle to find an open gate. Part 3

The best mark on Stannis’s record, and the only truly impressive thing he’s done was his destruction of the Ironborn fleet. He managed to split his fleet in two and flank the Ironborn without them knowing. Though this is still impressive it must be mentioned that Stannis likely had a great advantage due to technological superior ships (the ships described in the books are absurdly large and in an age where gaming and boarding was the main instrument of naval warfare that is a great advantage).

During the war of the five kings Stannis refuses to ally himself to anyone. This is a great black mark agains his record. And shows either an abysmal understanding of basic strategy or an incredibly diluted ego. Stannis’s choice to march on Storms end similarly shows either incompetence or delusion, only saved by an entirely unpredictable magical trump card on the part of Melisandre. Combined with the luck of the Stormlander lords agreeing to side with Stannis.

His attack of Kings Landing similarly shows a lack of understanding of basic strategy. This time he seemingly fails to scout ahead before initiating a contested river crossing. Failure to do this is an incredible oversight that cost him the battle. Part five sorry forgot the last one

After Stannis’s previous blunders lead to the annihilation of most of his army he gambles and sails north to try and win over the Northern lords. This is probably his first truly good idea in the war of the five kings. With Robb dead and the Lannister involvement in what seems to be one of the greatest war crimes in Westerosi history the Northern lords are ripe for realignment. Part 6

He crushes a numerical superior Wildling army though his force is made up of mounted knights and the Wildlings too don’t seem to utilize scouts. I would chalk this up to apparent wildling incompetence. Stannis then determines to march on the dread fort. Which is rightly pointed out by Jon Snow to be a stupid idea. Stannis then receives advice that determines his next moves. Part eight

Sorry, had to wait to submit more. Stannis then determines to march on the dread fort. Which is rightly pointed out by Jon Snow to be a stupid idea. Stannis then receives advice that determines his next moves. Stannis also seemingly wins the battle on the ice. His strategy seems to be fairly sound though he likely will receive no small amount of help from the Manderlys. Part nine

Part 10: Ultimately Stannis does not deserve his reputation. He isn’t completely incompetent. But He does not stand up the the likes of Tywin Lannister, Randyl Tarly, or Robb Stark In skill. Most of his victories are largely attributable to events that he had no control over and could not have forseen, from Melisandre’s magic to Jon’s council.

I wouldn’t worry. Whoever wrote that doesn’t really understand warfare either.

Defending against the Siege of Storm’s End was a remarkable feat of leadership. Stannis is young, and this is likely his first real test of major leadership. That he is able to handle it with only one instance of defection is no small accomplishment. A general needs to have this sense of leadership, in order to inspire his men and to get them to follow his orders. This is something we see time and again with Stannis; his troops truly do feel inspired by him, and are not simply fearing punishment for non-compliance. His men cross the burning bridge of ships during the Battle of the Blackwater, they follow him to the very edge of the world (bit of dramatic hyperbole here, but the Wall is remote and he would need to unite his men after the disastrous defeat).

Capturing Dragonstone. I fail to see your friend’s point. Naval landings are difficult in premodern times. Stannis had to organize a fleet and land, and he had built ships to take on the Targaryen fleet. Again, that’s another part of leadership, particularly since medieval naval combat frequently had ships that would be commissioned for a purpose and then mothballed.

What we see of the Battle of Fair Isle shows instead Stannis using the terrain features and the advantages of his equipment to his full advantage. This is something I often see with amateur military analysts is this idea that good equipment is used as an excuse to dismiss battlefield accomplishment in favor of a preferred conclusion. In real battle, this isn’t the case, it’s a chaotic mess and tools and techniques still have to be used appropriately.

Now I agree that the early moves that Stannis makes in the War of the Five Kings does show that he needs his character development to grow into a better king. The need to secure alliances, and the way his poor interpersonal skills don’t make much headway with Catelyn despite her being tailor-made to support Stannis (save for that pesky Northern independence thing) do show that his problems front and center.

I’ll be frank, your friend’s interpretation of Storm’s End suggests that he or she did no analysis the battle. I’ve seen a bunch of folks argue that on the r/asoiaf subreddit before. The facts of the matter are that Stannis forces Renly to move and nearly exhaust himself. He prepares his position and ground, he takes key advantage of Renly’s mistakes, and overall shows himself capable of winning the fight. Melisandre is often dismissed by people in our own world, but we have to remember that Planetos is a world where magic actually does stuff. I’d agree that a general in our own time who prepares for a magic bolt of lightning or something to strike down an enemy general is an idiot, but Planetos operates by different rules, and we have to make at least some sort of concession to that.

Now, we do see Stannis making a lot of mistakes in the battle, but we also see Imry Florent making most of the mistakes against tactical sense. Part of that is on Stannis, he is the senior commander, but part of that is also the problems of incompetent feudal leaders. Imry is an idiot, and he only got that position by nepotism.

Dismissing the wildlings losses as failure to employ scouts simply doesn’t match the text. We don’t hear about the wildlings not employing scouts, what we hear instead is that Stannis joined with the Eastwatch rangers and set out. We also see that the wildlings do employ some of their forces well, particularly their mammoths, which requires Stannis to secure a breakthrough against one of the other wildling contingents to flank the mammoths and bring them down, which is good tactical maneuver to eliminate an enemy advantage.

Stannis relying on Jon for counsel being marked as a disadvantage is a completely foolish argument. Securing local intelligence to better plan and execute a military campaign is one of intelligence’s primary purposes! That’s one of the most prevalent reasons to secure friendly local sources, so that you can adequately plan with better knowledge. Stannis makes a plan, finds local sourcing which gives him better intelligence, so he changes it. That being held against him is just a bad argument, start to finish.

I noticed your friend completely omitted the capture of Deepwood Motte, and I’m guessing because it really tears a hole in their arguments. Stannis using classic military deception techniques, camouflage to hide his troops, and captures Asha as she’s trying to evacuate, all of which showcase Stannis’s intelligence and effectiveness within the military sphere.

The Battle of the Ice we see Stannis again making preparations to take advantage of local conditions. While we don’t see what it is, because we’re still waiting on the book, all of the chapters that we see of him in the fifth novel regarding this show him preparing, show him leading his men.

Holding up Tywin Lannister as an example of a military genius is laughable, since Tywin gets beaten pillar to post by Robb Stark. His efforts to win the War of the Five Kings completely doom his house, since he violates every social taboo and engenders significant resentment to his family while doing so. I think it is possible to criticize Stannis’s mistakes in the Blackwater, without needing to minimize the actual accomplishments.

Thanks for the question, Anon. Here’s hoping you can correct your friend’s bad arguments.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

#stannis baratheon

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getitinbusan · 4 years

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Only Love Can Hurt Like This -4

Im Jaebeom - Angst

Y/N doesn't want a relationship, especially not with an idol. Jaebeom only wants her.

Love after heartbreak and all the things that fall in between.

Angst, Cheating, Fluff, Smut

A new series inspired by lyrics, each chapter has a specific song that goes with it.

Chapter 1: Nice To Meet Ya

Chapter 2: Blood In The Cut

Chapter 3: Liability

Chapter 4:

Chapter 5: Only Love Can Hurt Like This

Chapter 4: That's Just The Way You Make Me Feel

You keep on asking me the same questions (why?)

And second guessing all my intentions

You've got the answers to my confessions

You know I love it, so please don't stop it

So real, so good, so fuckin' real

The way you make me feel Janel Monae.

He knew he fucked up and he didn't know what to do about it. He'd finally made some headway and now he was back to square one.

So, the next day he was back. Standing in front of your counter he held out a cup of Hotteok.

Before he could speak you jumped in, "See JB, the way this whole retail thing works is, you pick something you want that I'm selling, then give me money for it. Nowhere in the scenario do you bring me random shit just because."

Your eyes were red, he felt terrible, after only 2 conversations he'd already managed to hurt you.

"It's not random shit, it's an apology. I'm sorry I drew attention to you last night." he paused, "you don't deserve to be attacked like that."

You turned away trying to gain your composure, "The one thing I've learned through all this is to never apologize for showing your feelings. When you do, you're apologizing for the truth."

You looked back, "I've never apologized for loving Yoongi, because it was real whether people want to believe it or not."

You sighed, "You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't put the target on my back JB it's been there a while, I'm just sad because now you've got one too."

His heart sank when he realized that you weren't choosing loneliness to protect yourself, you were keeping your distance so he wouldn't get dragged into it.

He placed his large hand over yours as it lay on the counter. "There's only one thing that's going to make me walk away from you." He tipped your chin so you were forced to look into his eyes, "Tell me you don't want me here."

The door chimed, you were no longer alone.

"Like I said yesterday, it's bad business for me to chase away customers, stay as long as you want."

He smiled brightly, "That's not a no."

Taking the Hotteok from the counter you were still unsure, but he was right, it wasn't a no.

………………………

Standing at the bar in the exact spot you'd met him, you'd hoped he'd be here tonight. You felt like a desperate fool with a schoolgirl crush.

Three days had passed since you'd last seen him and despite your best efforts, you found yourself missing him. You hated the way your heart hurt, of course he'd given up why would this be a surprise?

A hand reached around placing a drink on the bar in front of you. "You look like you could use this, still pining over Min Yoongi?"

"Actually I'm waiting for a friend Minho."

"I could be your friend tonight Y/N. I guarantee I can get you to stop thinking about him," he grabbed your ass.

"No thanks, I don't think 5 minutes in your bed will change my world."

He grabbed the drink back, "No wonder he cheated on you, you're such a bitch."

Dumb, Dumb, Dumb...you'd let your guard down and everything was feeling all too personal. Shooting back the last of your Soju you grabbed your jacket and made for the exit.

"You're not leaving when I just got here?"

Your traitorous heart fluttered, "I didn't know I was supposed to be waiting."

His grin got bigger, "Are you mad because maybe you actually missed me a little?"

Mad, sad, who could tell them apart anymore?

"Yeah, actually I am and I'm livid with myself for it."

He put his hand on your waist, "Hey, I'm sorry, I got called for re shoots."

His thumb rubbed over your hip soothingly, "I only have your work number...I just got back and I was hoping you'd be here"

A voice shouted from across the bar "Don't waste your time on that one JB, come sit with us"

You closed your eyes trying to keep the tears at bay, "You heard the man. I'm leaving anyway, I guess I'll see ya around."

Shooting a look at Minho he ran out the door to catch up with you.

Standing at the curb waiting for a cab he reached his hand out to you. "I wanted to be with you tonight, and I'm pretty sure you wanted to be with me. It's still early, let's go somewhere okay, can we still do that?"

Placing your hand in his, "Only if we're alone...and there's alcohol."

He smiled victorious, "I think I know a place."

Walking up the crowded street you felt better, anonymous. He kept squeezing your hand making sure you hadn't slipped away.

"Right here," he stopped in front of a pink neon lit Karaoke Bar.

"Karaoke? I think one of us has an extremely unfair advantage JB."

"Don't worry I'll let you win."

Stepping closer to him you kissed his cheek, "Why are you being so nice to me JB?"

"Y/N, why do you keep questioning my motives?"

His hand ran up your arm, "I hate that you've been mistreated for so long that you don't realize what normal behavior is."

He held the door open for you, "How's a private room and bottle service sound?"

................................

You consumed copious amounts of Grey Goose as you took turns performing for one another. What you lacked in vocal talent you made up for in your ability to mimic choreography.

"I think I've lost my voice," you shouted after your efforts to sing Itzy's Wannabe.

"I'm going to have to tell JYP about you, maybe with some training you can debut next year and come on tour with us," he laughed.

He queued up the next song, "Come here, I want to dance with you."

You moved into his waiting arms and allowed yourself to surrender to his pursuits. His song came on and you laughed, "it's so cheesy Jaebeom-ah!"

He sang anyway,

Our love will lead the way for us

If the road ahead is not so easy

Like a guiding star

I'll be there for you if you should need me

You don't have to change a thing

I love you just the way you are

You let your head rest on his chest, his heartbeat was louder, more important than the words he was singing.

Glad he was holding you up, you felt a little drunk, a little in love and for once, you weren't going to stop yourself.

He kissed the top of your head and held on a little tighter, "So does this mean you'll finally give me your number?"

You looked up at him nodding, locking eyes he moved slowly closer, lips almost touching ...until his phone went off.

He frowned, "Fuck, it's management. Sorry I've got to check in. Just stay in my arms ok?"

"You're going to read texts over my shoulder? How romantic," you jibed, but you didn't break away.

JYP: Dispatch has reached out to us for comment regarding a new dating scandal. They were tipped off that you were with Y/N at Cakeshop Night Club tonight and now they are outside of the Karaoke bar waiting for photos. We need to discuss your intentions immediately. A car will pick you up in 15 mins, wait inside for security. Do not leave the building together as it is still controllable speculation.

You could feel his body react to what he was reading, deep breaths, tensed muscles and finally pulling you in tightly. "What is it J?"

"I've got to get you out of here, the press are outside"

He handed you his phone, "add your number."

But JYPs text was still open and you saw every word.

You keyed in your info and switched it off before handing it back.

You breathed deep, "You know, sneaking in and out of buildings is my specialty," You put your hand over his heart and gave a sad smile.

"Don't worry about me. I'm sure there's a back entrance, I'll just grab a cab home. If you go out the front they'll be too busy taking photos of you, they'll never notice me."

You tried to sound confident and uncaring so he'd do what was best but Jaebeom had his own plan.

"Get your stuff, we're going out the front together."

He pulled your hand through the bar and out the front door. Lights flashed as they took their photos for tomorrow's headlines.

Hailing a cab he leaned over and kissed your lips, "I'm going to call you as soon as I can okay?"

You weren't okay, your first kiss would be your last kiss. Your smile hid the stabbing pain in your heart, you knew it was over before it had started.

"Jaebeom," you called him back after he closed the car door behind you, "It's been a really great time."

He smiled and waved.

Getting into the companies blacked out Suburban he was happy, he was going to stand his ground.

He'd felt bad that your first kiss had been under these circumstances so he opened his phone to text you a quick apology.

Searching the contacts he found your entry, "I'm sorry" with random numbers underneath.

#Jaebeom #jaebum #got 7 #im jaeboem #got 7 jaebeom

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projectnaga · 6 years

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the "i'm still alive and working, i swear!" status update: year 2 edition

(mirrored on dreamwidth)

Awright, here we are, 730 days later. i think we can all agree that it's a downright damning reflection of the glacial pace at which i work that technically speaking, what i'm here to write is more or less exactly what i wrote this time last year. The circumstances are still basically identical; i'm the sole reason for the holdup, life keeps getting in the way, but i'm Working On It And Will Finish The Damn Thing i Swear.

Don’t worry, though. This time, i actually have something resembling progress to share. It's pretty good, too, if i do say so myself.

Here's the basic deal of what's going on, then. After a long-ass break i've been working steadily on it for about six months now, illnesses and my job at the University of Canberra permitting, and while i'm still pretty inarguably far behind what any reasonable person would consider a schedule, i'm making pretty good headway. Along the way this became less of an editing pass on what i've already written, and sort of snowballed into going back to the drawing board in places: poring over the Japanese script again, comparing, contrasting, picking apart every possible angle of every single text block, noticing parts that don't quite comport or where i've gone off the rails, translating completely from scratch where necessary to correct the oversights in question, and not moving on until i'm completely satisfied with the wording compared to the original.

Christ, that's a much more dramatic way of putting it than how it actually feels to do it.

As i've said before, my first go-around was a learning process where my grasp on the task was still very much developing, so i'm inclined to think that such close scrutiny is basically necessary on my part; i can't really afford to let past me off the hook and ensure that he had the literal meaning down 100% of the time. i'm determined to get everything right this time and ensure that the end result is as pure and faithful an expression of what FE4 is as possible, a target i fell slightly short of the first time around but which i'm committed to nailing fully this time. There's also been a lot of fiddling with line breaks to try and make all dialogue sequences look nice without any awkward spacing issues. i figure, i've left too many people hanging on this pass, so the least i can do is make the damn thing worth the wait both narratively and aesthetically.

In this editing phase, i also now have the benefit of working with a bunch of great friends of mine from Fire Emblem Universe - people like Smilies, Black Mage, Kyuzeth, Alusq, zahlman, Onmi, circleseverywhere, Zane, Darrman and MCProductions, whose opinions and critical eye i have a lot of faith in. They're not the types to let me rest on my laurels, no; they're constantly holding my work - every decision, every odd wording, every significant shift either way, every assumed reading, every out-of-place comma - to the fire, and their constant input is invaluable in ensuring that what i'm coming out this time is to a much higher standard than before. god, i almost wish i knew these guys back when i was first working on the game; it's such a privilege to have such sharp and talented people as them, and just about everyone else i've ever worked with, with me. i know, i've said it before, but i'll keep saying it until it stops being true because damnit, people are great.

Here, have some pictures of what i've been up to:

i admit with some shame that i was hoping to have a more impressive selection to show, especially given the amount of Shit i've been talking, but then i promptly drew a blank on stuff i liked enough to include here. oh well

Presently, i'm well into the game's second generation with this pass. A quick checklist of important things that have been completed so far:

The two missing alternate death quotes for bosses - Reptor in chapter 5 and Ishtore in chapter 7 - have been fixed and implemented

The promised Lex rewrite from last year is complete; the dude is now a lot more faithful to his original speech style, with some fine quirks that i'm kicking myself for missing the first time around

One of the most interesting changes i’ve picked up on is the tail-end of Eldigan execution scene (pictured above briefly), the tone of which i... completely fucked the first time around, let’s be honest. i completely missed a much more interesting reaction from Chagall about it, his gloating tempered by disappointment that it’s ending so easily. With this in mind, it’s a great scene, and i’m kicking myself for not doing it justice sooner

On a similar promised note, i'm fairly confident that i've excised every single use of the word "geez" in the script and reworked it into something that's not anachronistic as all hell

A lot of other stuff that's slipping my mind. Suffice it to say, if it's an error, it's being corrected, no ifs, ands or buts

Unsurprisingly i still don't have a hard date for when i'll be done and, given my dismal track record, i'd be a total idiot for trying to set one, but i'm hoping the post-semester lull will give me plenty of time to finish up. Don't worry, if i'm still going into next year, i'll still definitely be self-flagellating myself for it; i'm not sure it's possible to be more annoyed with me than i am with myself.

meanwhile, FE5!

Ahh, yes. The other thing that i Am Totally Working On i Swear. Needless to say, it's still on the table, and like i've said before it's one of the biggest factors in me wanting to just get FE4 done already (aside from, y'know, the common human decency part); various recent events have really lit a fire under me to want to get started on it in earnest. It's still on the backburner in favour of FE4 in the meantime, but occasionally the spirit possesses me and i hop over to do a passage or two. Here's some very recent work on it of mine: a few first-draft passages from chapter 22.

#fire emblem #status updates

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skygemspeaks · 6 years

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I'm afraid this might be pestering but do you have the part 2 for that Log Horizon AU?

Okay okay my dear, I’m sorry it took me this long, but here it finally is! Part 2 of my Return to Earth au.

While Minori has always been Shiroe’s protégé in regards to being a strategist, Rudy is the one who inherits Shiroe’s magical talent. Rudy is the one that’s stayed up with Shiroe throughout the nights, studying magic, researching new spells, trying to find a link between the worlds.

When Rudy wakes up one day to find his entire family gone, to find himself the only adventurer left in the entire world, it just about breaks him.

He’d always suspected that he’d have to say goodbye one day, he’d always expected that he’d end up alone. But when Shiroe had come up with the idea to find a way to allow the adventurers to travel freely between their own world and Theldesia, he’d started hoping. He’d started hoping that he’d be able to keep these warm, laughter-filled days. He’d hoped that this would be his new forever. They’d been making good headway too, but now that his master, his much admired older brother is gone, Rudy just doesn’t have the faith in himself that he’ll be able to bring them back.

He wallows in his grief for a long time. Him and all the other People of the Land who’d made Akiba their home. The reason they’d all come to Akiba was because they’d been drawn to the adventurers, to their carefree ways, to their bright, colourful lives, to their fascinating culture. And now, with half their population gone, with their Round Table Council no longer upholding the peace, their town quickly crumbles, becoming merely a shell of the beautiful place it had become with the arrival of the adventurers.

Lord Sergiatte orders his granddaughter to return to the Palace of Eternal Ice. Now that the adventurers are gone, there is no longer any reason to have an embassy at Akiba.

Lenessia reluctantly obeys, leaving behind the home she’d gradually grown attached to. It’s difficult, getting used to her own peoples’ class-based society once again, after having gotten used to the freedom of the adventurers.

In the end, it’s actually Regan who pulls Rudy out of his downward spiral. It’s no secret to anyone that Shiroe of Log Horizon, the strategist of the Round Table Council, had gained the favour of the Sage of Miral Lake. It had caused quite the stir among the nobles of Eastal - the Sage was a highly respected, if extremely elusive, figure, and it was nigh impossible to even enter into his acquaintance let alone become close with him.

Regan had come to admire Shiroe greatly in the time they’d known each other, so when he learns that the adventurers have all been spirited back to their own home, he immediately sets to finding a way to bring them back. Regan hadn’t had a chance to tell Shiroe yet that he’d been considering taking him on as his successor, the next in line to inherit the title of the Sage of Miral Lake. He’s getting on in years after all, and he already considers Shiroe his equal in terms of magic, if not even superior.

So he and Rudy work together to bring their friends and family back.

It takes them three years.

But finally. Finally, Rudy and Regan are sitting in Shiroe’s office at the Log Horizon guild hall (and it doesn’t matter that Rudy’s been using it for three years, longer now than Shiroe had ever used it - Rudy will always think of it as Shiroe’s) and they’ve got their hearts in their throats.

It’s the middle of the night.

Rudy opens his status screen, and Shiroe’s name is lit up on his friend’s list. It’s the only one so far, but it’s a start. With this one tentative connection, they’re closer than ever to achieving their goal.

Rudy selects his guild leader’s name and a telechat ringtone sounds in his mind, for the first time in three years. He waits with baited breath, and after what seems an eternity, there’s a click.

“Rudy?” asks a familiar voice, an incredulous voice.

And Rudy almost breaks down crying. There’s a lump in his throat, but before he can get even a word out, he hears the wail of an infant, and a quiet curse from Shiroe.

“Shit,” he whispers to himself. “Sorry Rudy, just a second. Let me put the baby down.”

Rudy is confused, and maybe a little heartbroken. Shiroe has a baby now. Had he and Naotsugu broken up then? It feels to Rudy almost like his parents had just separated.

But then there’s the sound of a door opening, and the sound of a sleepy, disgruntled grumble.

“Keeeeiiiii. Make him stoooooppppp,” groans a voice that Rudy recognizes as Naotsugu’s.

Shiroe sounds breathless when he replies that, “I need you to put him back to sleep. I’ve just gotten a call from Rudy.”

“Mmh, fine...” replies Naotsugu sleepily. There’s silence for a moment, and Rudy can picture perfectly in his mind’s eye the moment Naotsugu really realizes what Shiroe had said, because the next moment he screeches, “WHAT?”

The baby’s wailing gets impossibly louder.

“A telechat. From Rudy,” Shiroe insists. “I need you to take the baby so I can talk to him and figure out what’s going on.”

Another moment of silence, and then Naotsugu’s voice, louder, as if he’s yelling right into Shiroe’s ear.

“I knew you could do it, Rudy!” he crows in delight. “You better bring us back home soon!”

There’s a few moments of grumbling from Shiroe then, and a grunt of pain from Naotsugu, and Rudy knows that Shiroe must’ve kicked him in the shin or something for yelling into his ear.

Then the sound of the baby’s wailing becomes more faint, and there’s the sound of a door closing.

“Rudy?” asks Shiroe, “You still there?”

“Shiroe-nii,” he whispers, still feeling all choked up. “You and Naotsugu-nii have a baby?” he asks.

And he can hear the smile in Shiroe’s voice when he replies that, “Yeah. We adopted him only a few months ago. He’s already got Akatsuki and everyone else wrapped around his tiny little pinky, you know?”

“I’d love to meet him one day,” Rudy whispers in response, and there’s a warm chuckle from Shiroe.

“I’m sure you will. Hopefully some day soon, if you can tell me just how you were able to get this telechat to connect,” Shiroe says, voice warm.

And with that, they’re back on topic.

They talk long into the night, working out logistics, with Rudy acting as the go-between so that Regan can participate in their conversation as well.

So far, Shiroe is the only one they can connect with via telechat, and there’s still no way to bring him to Theldesia. But with Shiroe’s input in the discussion, they know it’s only a matter of time before they get the problem solved.

An hour into their discussion, Naotsugu quietly comes back to the bedroom, having finally managed to get the baby to go back to sleep. He keeps quiet for the most part, not able to really contribute much to the topic of magic, what with being a guardian. But every once in a while he has an idea that opens new channels for them.

Eventually, when they’ve been talking for four hours already and the first light of dawn is beginning to creep over the horizon, they have to call their discussion to an end. Shiroe and Naotsugu need to get a few hours of sleep in before their son wakes them up again, and Rudy and Regan need to start testing out the things they’d discussed with Shiroe.

Both sides also agree that they need to bring others into the conversation as well.

The next day, Regan sends word to Maihama, to inform the Duke and his family that they are close to bringing the adventurers back to Theldesia. Lenessia arranges to return Akiba immediately, while the other noble families of Eastal argue and debate over the pros and cons of bringing the adventurers back. Regan finds it funny, that they seem to think their opinions mean anything to him - as if he’s asking their permission to bring the adventurers back, and not that he’s merely being decent enough to inform them ahead of time that he’s going to do it no matter what they say.

In the other world, Shiroe gathers together the other members of the Round Table Council. He tells them they’re close to finding a way back to Theldesia.

But before the other guild leaders can get too excited, he warns them. He warns them that this time will be different from the last time they were sent to Theldesia.

This time they’ll have the option of returning to their home world whenever they wanted. And while that has many pros, it also has its dangers - the Round Table Council will have just as many - if not MORE - responsibilities than last time. It’ll be difficult if the members plan on keeping their jobs and their lives in their own world. If they are planning on staying in the Council, he needs to know they’ll be willing to put in the extra time and the effort to continue running the city of Akiba.

“Isn’t it the same for you?” Crusty asks Shiroe, raising one delicate eyebrow. “It’s not like you can just pick up and move permanently to Theldesia. You have your son to think about.”

Shiroe nods, acknowledging his point. “Naotsugu and I have already begun discussing the logistics of it,” he tells them. “We’re willing to put in the extra effort. There’s no way I will ever quit the Round Table. But I don’t want you all to feel pressured into staying as well.”

The different guild leaders all look at each other exasperatedly. There’s really nothing to think about. The entire reason they’d all been sent to Theldesia in the first place, the reason they were STILL on the Round Table Council after all these years despite being back in their own world, was because in their hearts, they were all still MMO junkies. They’d become invested in Akiba, and they wanted to continue helping it grow.

In the end, they all decide to stay.

But even with all eleven of them, it would still be difficult to fulfill all their duties, now that they wouldn’t all be there 24/7. So they decide to bring more guilds and guild leaders into the Round Table Council.

The original seven would continue to be the main voices, the ones with the final say in decisions, but they start contacting other guild leaders, start looking for other people to help run the Council.

Of course, William of the Silver Sword Knights is one of the first people they contact. This time, he agrees to join without a second thought.

The Round Table puts out an announcement on their forum that they might’ve possibly found a way to let them return to Theldesia.

The forum explodes with the news, everyone ecstatic. Even people who’d slowly drifted away over the years return to the site with a vengeance.

It takes a few more weeks after that first telechat between Rudy and Shiroe, but finally, they have the status screens up, and all the adventurers who had gone to Theldesia the first time around find they have the option to “log in”.

It’s a brilliant summer afternoon, when the first of the adventurers materializes in Akiba in a flash of light. The people of the land who had been in the area are startled at the appearance, but the news spreads quickly around Akiba after that, like wildfire.

By the time night rolls around, the once deserted shell of Akihabara is once again alight with warmth and laughter. There’s a party that lasts well into the night.

Rudy really does cry, the first time he sees Shiroe again after all those years apart, and he runs full-tilt into his guild leader’s embrace.

He’s taller than Shiroe now. Shiroe laughs and pats his head. “You’ve grown quite a lot, haven’t you?” he asks, voice fond, and Rudy nods, bouncing on the balls of his feet like an excited puppy.

The parties last for several days afterwards.

There’s a lot of rebuilding to do, a lot of problems to fix and decisions to make, and relationships with the people of the land to rebuild.

It will take the adventurers a long time establish themselves properly in this world again.

But for now, they choose not to worry about that.

For now, they choose to bask in the joy of being with their friends and loved ones once again.

#log horizon #shiroe #rundelhaus code #shirogane kei #naotsugu hasegawa #regan of miral lake #lenessia cowen #sergiatte cowen #return to earth au #fantasycrest asks #lh ask #i really hope you guys like this #i do have some more ideas for this world #so if you want to see more be sure to send me some asks #it might take me a while to answer them though #spy reports

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