#fbi voice: see thats how you know hes a sicko | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-letter-horror-lover · 2 years

Text

invader homestuck (and kuroshitsuji???) but go crazy aaaa go stupid aaaa

orphan_account

Summary:

me and my bOoOooOoooOo faetyrantxvii stayed up till Late™️ and wrote this. it is now your bible.

dont do kids drugs :)~

Notes:

ALL YOU LADIES POP YOUR 🅱️USSY LIKE THIS

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

it was a normal day on earth. zim was hitting the woah continuously to strengthen his ass bones for the fight at school later on. some pleb normie named tavgross nitiddy had walked up to him and said “hey bitch, my nipple horns are bigger than your boyfriends peenie weenie”, making dib fucking explode and making everyone put an f in the chat but hes okay tho bc this is all fictional.

Gaz looked over to where dib once stood, "dib stop being a fucking freak and just smoke weed like the rest of us" she said as Dave nodded and passed her another blunt. Zim in a fit of anger, dabbed on that bitch. She cried and threw herself into kanata and orses arms knowing that this would be a burn she couldn't bounce back on. Tavros the took the blunt from gaz and announced himself the new queen of the goths. He then made a crownout of waffles

“as new queen of the goths, you will now refer to me as ebony dark'ness dementia raven way” “no fuck u” zim said, his antenna popping through his wig, snatching it off of his head like he just heard some fuckin piping hot tea. it was too late, though, tavros/ebony had suddenly grown ebony black hair (thats how he got his name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches his mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people told him he looks like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!) and he suddenly announced he wasnt related to gerard way but he wished he was bc hes a fucking hottie.

“this is gayer than zims dog and my wife who i definitely didnt kill and get a fuckton of money from” ms. bitters said as she floated to the moon thanks to the rocket pack zim had probed into her dookiehole. gir began to eat tavros/ebonys waffle hat while zim began 🅱️ussy 🅱️opping to old town road, preparing for the fight. dave joined in bc hes dave.

Gaz, trying to regain her title, stood up and took the eyeliner from tavbony and drew a pentagram on her forehead. "I'm not going to change my name to fucking vampire or anything like that because changing you're name is fucking prep as shit" Dave nods and says "cool story" she then turns to gir. "Hey did you know I out of three hoes are mad?" Gir then replies, "but I'm not mad." Dave says, "neither am i," he then lowers his shades and looks directly at you the viewer of this shitshow before turning back and making out with gir. "Aw shit they just yeeted on ya" ms bitters crys. "Fuckin yoted." Dib then Rematerializes into the room using the power of love. "Yall just mad at me because you ain't smashing that 🅱️USSY" zim then looks at dib confused. "Stinkboi were gay" "oh shit you right" karkat then looks at them in disgust, "UM EXCUSE ME FUCKERS IM GAY AND HOMOPHOBIC AND THATS SO NOT CASH MONEY OF YOU" he then puts on a loli dress and kisses Dave because hes heterosexual. "FBI OPEN UP" a voice shouts from downstairs. "Oh no they're here" talest purple says. Tablets red then takes holds him into his chest and serenades him with an original hit song that can be purchased in the description below. "Aww haiw miwty tawwest puwpwe, he be dabbin on da hoes but newer stawps gwindin for da team. Bussy boppin." They then floated into the sun together to get away once they remember they're better than everybody else

“owo what2 thii2?” sollux said as he poked dibs eenie beenie teenie peenie. “HEY SLUT THATS MY MAN BACK OFF” zim said as he began to go into sicko mode, his breasts breasting breastily. katy perry shot whip cream out of her boobs somewhere in this distance, this is relevant to the story it just needed to be known. by now tavbippity boppity back the fucc up had gotten beyond tired of this bitchmess and began taking shots of acid, not the drug just real fucking acid so he could fucking get the sweet release of death he so badly craved. “HELL YEAAAAH BROOOS” said god, even tho god isnt real he was mad by the government if god was real this wouldnt even exist. “back on my bullshit” dave said as he and michael jacksons ghost began their romantic journey in life.

“IM GONNA SING THE DOOM SONG NO—“ gir TRIED to say but he was too much of a furry to get it out before grell sutcliff sat on his dobby lookin ass. “OMAE WA MOU SHINDEIRU” she said, her own breasts breasting breastily.

“NANI?!?!” karkitkat said before his horns began to buzz. “HOLD ON I GOTTA TAKE THIS”

everyone stopped as karpussy talked on his nipple phone. “UH HUH... YEAH... OKAY” he ripped his fucking candy corn nipples off his head and handed them to gamzee “ITS THE CRINGE POLICE ITS FOR U”

“tHaNkS bRo :o)” gamzee said as he ate the nipples I MEAN HORNS and thought of how he would one day lay them like eggs and raise them as his own. “DAVE I AM nO T A HOME OF SEXUAL” john said as dave tapped dat ass.

SUDDENLY! "WWEH! Did somebody say eridan ampora?" Eridan ampora asked while draping himself across the bed holding a rose in his mouth wearing nothing but his cape and scarf. "Literally no body fucking said that." Said zim "but I did think it. I just didnt say it you weak ass low level e-thot." Eridan the quickly got up and started staring into gazs eyes. "You havve got to be the least hideous lookin human ivve evver seen in my entire life, marry me." She looked up at him disinterested, "I cant," she then pointed at kanya and Ross. "Gotta smash" kan then looked up at eridan ampora "didnt I saw you in half?" He stuck his tongue out at her and replied "yeah but you did such a shitty job at it I came here to steal your bitch" eridan ampora said. Gaz and roos looked at each other and nodded , "kyanyan we want a divorece" then they each took eridan ampora by the hand and lead him downstairs while making out to plag some splatoon2. John momentarily stopped tappin dat ass to passionately make out with gamzee. "Its not gay be cause you're a clown and that means you have no rights and morally as well as legally I dont have to view you as a person." "HaHa, WhAtEvR yOu SaY mOtHeRfUcKeR" solluc then started reprogramming dib once he realized he was just a robot. When he was done he turned to zim and said "5o basiically he5 babey and can do no wrong now, al5o everyday at precii5ely 4am he wiill now awake and worshiip the bee5, a4 wa5 what the troll greek god pluto intented”

“sollsucc u ignorant slut” zim tried to spit his gum out at sollsexy but instead he spit his tooth out. “oh shit wait i need that for the autopsy” karkat stopped riding on nepetas back like a donkey for a moment. “IN THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM, SEXUALLY BASED OFFENSES ARE CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY HEINOUS. IN NEW YORK CITY, THE DEDICATED DETECTIVES WHO INVESTIGATE THESE VICIOUS CRIMES ARE MEMBERS OF AN ELITE SQUAD KNOWN AS THE SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES.”

mituna clapped his asscheeks to make the DUN DUN sound before disintegrating like spiderman in infinity war. “OH SHIT I GUESS HE DIDNT FEEL SO GOOD HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHA I WANT TO DIE” a laugh track was heard in the distant completely unrelated to what kitty kar cunt said bc hes not funny hes a lil bitch. “hey gaz wanna have an orgy” zim said as nepeta killed gamzee by showing him cursed pictures of danny devito “but zim u simple bitch its not an orgy if theres only two— oh” suddenly, spiders crawled out of zims pants. orgy spiders. inbred orgy spiders. please put them out of their misery. “SPIDERS IT IS THEN!” said papyrus, who was boning his bones so boneily it made Skeletor jealous.

just as vriska was screaming the lyrics to the absolute banger that is The Fitness Gram Pacer Test™️ into the face of a baby that had fallen from the sky (its not GOD hes not R E AL *dies suddenly from “natural causes” bc that’s what the media wants u to think*) at a frequency so high not even god (who doesnt exist DONT BELIEVE WHAT THEY TOLD U— *shot*) could hear, latula and damara began dabbing violently, so violently that dib exploded..... again. hes fine its not real uwu. “ALL OF YOU CUCKS AINT GOT SHIT ON THIS PHAT ASS 👁👅👁” suddenly dave was ninki minjaj!!!! “LETS GO TO THE bEECH bEECH....” karkat stabbed dave minaj in her bubble booty and she fucking died wow i cant believe karkat vantas fucking killed nicki Minaj.

“h-hewwo?” gir said from grell thicc cheeks. “hnnng im trying to survive but she’s dummy thicc and the clap of her asscheeks keeps alerting alois!” alois trancy wasnt actually there, hes dead and has been for a while. girs just insane and zim is a frog. oh also, have we mentioned zim is actually a frog? and Hes gay. WE TURNED THE FRIGGEN FROGS GAY—

you, the viewer, the helpless victim in a situation like this and also a big tiddy anime girl crushed us, the probably high (dont do kids drugs) authors of this hell on earth with your tig ol biddies. WHAT A WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!11!!111111!!!!

then, after we all thought it was over, donald trump but shorter and oranger and even more unlikeable than before came in with a corndog in his mouth. “WHICH ONE OF YOU PIMPLE POPPERS FUCKED MY COUSIn”

Notes:

SHAKE YOUR BODY DONT P oOp DONT PiS s

Series this work belongs to:

Part 1 of MAKE UR DREAMS COME TRUE

#black butler fanfiction

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