#felis advice column

[felikatze]

with miko i've completed my dream team of "every playable character employed by yae publishing" and discovered that the gorou-albedo-yae synergy isn't even half bad. add xingqiu for spice and yeah

yae miko and her three manlets

#feli speaks #i'm obsessed with yae publishing lore sorry. it's so good #it's the best lore in the game in my opinion #a civil war ends and yae decides a former enemy general would be AMAZING for this anonymous advice column #and as his avatar she portrays him with a giant rack #how infuriating must the xingqiu-albedo duo be to work with as an editor though #it's established that albedo refuses to work with anyone except xingqiu. and his illustrations sell really well #xingqiu meanwhile invented sci-fi in genshin. look me in the eyes. he wrote a samurai novel set in space. he invented genshin star wars.

[sailorgreywolf-german]

An Autumn Walk

This is for @hetalia-writers-monthly

The prompt is Quote: “The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let the dead things go” - Anonymous

Characters: Germany and Prussia, mentions of Holy Rome

Relationships: Fraternal Germany and Prussia, GerIta

Word Count: 2,000

Autumn had set upon Berlin in earnest, and it was turning the trees of the Tiergarten golden and red. There was a chill in the air, but it was pleasant.

After living here for so long, Prussia was of the opinion that climate of the city was the best at this time of year. The bite of winter was still distant, and the sweltering heat of the summer was gone.

He also loved the way that the autumn leaves colored the city, painting the streets orange and red. It was a last moment of bright color before the city would lapse into the greys of winter.

He was taking a moment to enjoy the turning of the season with his brother. They were taking a walk through the Tiergarten as a rare break from the demands of building an empire. Germany had asked for some time together, and a stroll through the Tiergarten was the most convenient way to have casual privacy.

Prussia had less on his shoulders now that his brother was in charge of the country, so he was glad to take a walk and offer whatever advice Germany wanted. He still had his own responsibilities as the largest state and as the one who had the closest relationship with the dynasty.

He had given Germany his kings, but he still knew the Hohenzollerns best. He was still the best intermediary between Germany and the monarch. As for the chancellor, it was evident to Prussia that Bismarck was still Prussian to his core. So, there was still an important place for Prussia in Berlin.

As a brother, he had the sense that Germany had asked him to go on this walk with something on his mind. It was easy to tell when he had something turning behind his eyes.

He expected the conversation to start at any moment, because he knew that Germany could never keep his thoughts to himself for very long. If he had something on his mind, then it would come out.

Prussia was just waiting for him to say something. As they walked deeper into the park, far enough that the victory column was no longer visible at the periphery of Prussia’s vision, Germany finally started talking.

He started, “I have been talking to Feliciano.”

That was no surprise; Germany seemed like he was becoming fond of Italy. Ever since the war against Austria, Prussia had noticed the way that they had been spending more and more time together. They seemed to think that it was clandestine or subtle, despite rarely finding a truly private place to talk.

Anyone could have easily seen the magnetism between them. If he had wanted to, Prussia could have easily eavesdropped. But he had chosen to allow the young love to take its course. He was happy for them, albeit slightly concerned with how quickly Germany had seemed to attach to the Italian.

Prussia added in his own mind: Oh yes, I’ve noticed that you’ve taken an interest in him. Anyone could see that.

He did not voice it though, because he had some restraint. He could almost feel Fritz’s hand on his shoulder, reminding him that the realization was not an easy one, and it would take time. Realizing feelings for another man could be difficult, especially for a young man who was still learning about himself.

If Fritz was here, he would remind him how long it had taken him to realize he had an attraction to men.

There was no use in pointing it out to Germany or teasing him. It would only make him more self conscious if he did not realize on his own yet.

So, after a long moment of contemplation, he said, “And what have you been talking about?”

He could guess, since he had once been a young man who stole moments with someone else. But he was certain that Germany would not share all of that with him, since he was his brother. Lover’s moments were meant to be private.

He watched the blonde’s face as he waited for an answer. There was a suggestion of an anxious blush. Germany finally answered, “Oh, many things. My life, his life, the future.”

He sounded anxious, and he was always short when he got anxious. But Prussia thought it still sounded very much like a conversation that lovers might have. Germany gathered himself and started talking again, “I think I like him more than I expected I would. He's not strong or bold, but I still like him.”

There was a furious pink blush in his cheeks now, and Prussia felt for a moment like he understood what this conversation might be.  He could already imagine what might be coming next.

Was his brother about to tell him that he had feelings for Italy?

He immediately tried to think of a way to respond so that Germany would feel comfortable talking to him. He had to make sure that his brother did not feel any shame about his feelings.

But, Germany quickly added, “I mean that he is a very good friend.”

Prussia sighed to himself. His brother had not yet come to that realization, or decided to share it with him. He discarded his own prepared speech and looked up at the trees while he was waiting for Germany to get t whatever was on his mind.

He did say, “You know I encourage your diplomatic endeavors, but why are you telling me this?”

There was dappled light filtering in through the trees and it made the whole day feeling charmingly cozy. There was a moment of quiet, which was only punctuated by the crunch of leaves under their feet.

Then, Germany seemed to summon his strength and say, “He was telling me about the Holy Roman Empire. They lived together when Austria ruled him.”

Prussia hid his own surprise, because it had never crossed his mind that Italy had known his younger brother. He hadn’t considered that they lived together before.

It made sense looking back. At the time, Prussia had little to do with the politics of the rest of Europe, and it had escaped his notice.

In all the times that he had watched Germany talking intently to Italy, he had not thought that they may be rekindling a connection. Even if Germany did not remember it, it was entirely possible that he still felt a glimmer of friendship.

Could Italy tell that the man he was talking to was the same one that he had known years ago?

The thought was strangely haunting to Prussia, almost melancholy. How odd it would be to talk to a ghost.

Germany continued to speak, “The way Feli speaks about him makes it sounds like he really misses him. I think they were very good friends.”

Prussia thought, momentarily, that it was amusing that he used the same term as his own romantic feelings. He really must not have any idea what was developing between them.

Then, an old conversation surfaced in his mind. Holy Rome had once told him that he intended to get married to one of Rome’s heirs. It had been a topic Prussia had quickly dismissed once he had severed his relationship with the Catholic empire.

The comment brought it back to mind so clearly, and made a sudden strange sense. Had he meant to marry Italy before his death?

The thought was even more melancholy, because Prussia could easily imagine the grief that Italy had felt when Holy Rome had vanished. He knew the pain of losing a lover.

He glanced at Germany, and could see the likeness of young Holy Rome in his face. He was older now, but he did not look so different. Given the right cloak and hat, it would be easy to see.

How strange and painful that must be for Italy. Did he know that he was talking to half a ghost?

Did he gravitate towards Germany because he could see the resemblance so clearly?

He could not imagine how he would have reacted to a man who looked like his lost love, but who had none of their memories together. Italy must be more conflicted than he was showing.

He wondered if Germany’s own fondness for Italy came from that childhood relationship. The heart may remember what the mind had forgotten.

Germany seemed to be struggling through his thoughts as he said, “When Feli talks about him, I feel almost like almost I knew him.”

He trailed off for a moment, and the methodical crunch of leaves beneath their feet filled the silence.

Prussia thought for a fleeting moment that Germany was about to break through an amnesic barrier. The thought was terrible, because it would bring a cascade of pain and betrayal.

Whatever the feeling of death had been, the pain had been enough for Germany to lock it away in his own mind. There was an experience there that Prussia could not imagine, one that had been terrible enough to forget everything that came before it.

If Germany broke through he would remember that Austria had left him to die on a battlefield, and Prussia feared what the repercussions would be for his psyche. The amnesia was surely a way to protect himself from the knowledge that he was left to die.

Selfishly, he knew that he would also be called to account. If Germany remembered that he was once the Holy Roman Empire, then he would ask why Prussia had never told him. And that was not a conversation Prussia was prepared to have.

He watched with trepidation, wondering if Germany was about to experience the full force of those emotions.

But then Germany shook his head like it was an absurd thought, and Prussia breathed a short sigh of relief.

To reinforce that conclusion, Prussia said, “You did not know him. He died a long time ago.”

He knew it was half a lie, but it was one that would keep Germany from interrogating his own memories.

Germany shook his head one more time and said, “I know that. But, I wanted to ask you if you remembered him. He was our brother, wasn't he?”

He looked like he was trying to put the pieces together in his head. Prussia answered the question, “We had the same father, but I never knew him well. Roderich would know him better than I did. My king was never the Holy Roman emperor, and Holy Rome never lived with me.”

He hoped that would be enough to put the topic to rest and avoid any danger of old memories resurfacing. Germany was chewing the inside of his lower lip, like he was thinking very hard.

Prussia knew that there was more that he could say about the Holy Roman empire, but it would be inappropriate. He had thought Holy Rome was weak and ineffective, and he had spent years training Germany to overcome those qualifies.But, it would be unkind to tell a man about the weak boy he had once been.

Germany pressed him, “Can you tell me what you remember about him?”

Prussia sighed. He had to come up with an answer, and it would have to be one that would satisfy Germany’s curiosity.

He stopped walking, and looked up at Germany solemnly. Hemet the curious blue eyes and said, “Listen to me. Maximilian had too much power for a boy his age, and it killed him.”

He stepped towards his brother and placed his hands on his shoulders. He wanted Germany to listen to every word clearly. He enunciated every word as he said, “That is exactly why I made sure you were ready to become an empire. I was not going to let you fail the way he did. You are the future and I wanted you to be ready. I have lost one brother already, and I will do everything in my power not to lose you.”

The words he dared not say echoed in his mind: I will not be able to bring you back from death a second time.

He omitted the fact that he had spent time planning to fix the deficiencies that had brought Germany so close to destruction before.

He continued, “Now take an example from the season. Let the dead go, and move forward.”

The blonde nodded and replied, “But what about Feli? I want to understand him.”

Prussia drew in one more breath through his nose. He could hear the pangs of love in his brother’s voice, the first love that he neither fully forget nor fully remember.

Prussia answered, “Show him the man that you are, and he’ll love you for it.”

#hetaliawritersmonthly #aph prussia #aph germany #hws gerita