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365days365movies · 2 years

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31 (Films) to Life: Thelma and Louise (1991) - Recap: Part One

Hey, Ridley. How’re things?

A bit mixed it seems. So, same old same old, huh? See, Ridley and I have had some run-ins before on this hellsite (see my Reviews of The Martian and Legend for more of that), but I’ve also seen quite a bit of his filmography, it turns out. Here’s a quick sum-up.

Alien (1979): A horror and science-fiction essential. If you haven’t seen Alien, you gotta get on that come October! It’s a classic! 92%.

Blade Runner (1982): Another science-fiction essential that you need to watch if you haven’t! Honestly, just watch that one right now if you want to. 94%.

Legend (1985): Check out my thoughts on this one, it’s...it’s a weirdy.

1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992): FUCK this movie. Listen to me, OK, LISTEN TO ME. Absolutely fuck this movie. It’s meant to be a celebration of Christopher Columbus, so it’s already a piece of shit premise, but then...the movie itself is a historically inaccurate, badly acted, poorly shot piece of absolute garbage. It’s so bad that I was going to write a review on it for this site, but never actually finished it. FUCK this movie, OK? 28%.

Gladiator (2000): Classic film that maybe didn’t deserve the Oscar it got for Best Film, but still an excellent movie regardless. One of Russell Crowe’s strongest. 86%.

Kingdom of Heaven (2005): Another dogshit film with historical inaccuracy out the goddamn wazoo, don’t even get me STARTED. Not as bad (I guess) as 1492, but still a really bad film. 34%.

Prometheus (2012): ...Meh. It’s a movie. 66%.

The Martian (2015): Check out my thoughts on this one, too. Great movie, though, seriously.

Combine that with the well-received The Last Duel and the not-as-well received House of Gucci, and you can probably see Scott’s weird record. He’s a very off-and-on director, and the quality of one of his films is kind of unpredictable. Also, he might be semi-racist, but that’s neither here nor there, to be honest with you. Some quick backstory, then!

Ridley Scott is an English director who grew up during World War II. Yeah, he is surprisingly old, having been born two years before the war even started. He grew up watching newsreels of the War, and reading science-fiction books. Yes, the young Scott was a tiny little wartime nerd, he was. Both he and his younger brother Tony became enamored with the world of cinema, and their journeys began. Enter Kubrick.

Like I said, kid was a nerd, and Kubrick’s opus 2001 cemented that in him and his brother. However, their cinematic journeys went in slightly different paths. They both started working for the BBC, then began their own company in 1968, which they and multiple members of their families have since directed and worked for to this day.

Soon after, Ridley began a love affair with historical drama with his directorial debut, The Duellists. He’d return to the genre year after year, decade after decade, but this was his first jump into it. It’s kind of forgotten nowadays, but it’s pretty critically acclaimed, apparently. Might check it out, one of these days. Would his next film garner a bit more attention?

...Yes. Yes, it would.

Ridley’s in the money, now. Alien is a MASSIVE success, and he follows that up with fucking Blade Runner? Yeah, Ridley’s doing pretty good for himself at this point. And his brother? Well...

Fuck Maverick, that’s all I have to say about that.

But yeah, the Scotts are doing pretty good, come the 1980s! Ridley even gets in on the Tom Cruise action with Legend, funnily enough. The brothers are in the money, and they’ll stay that way for a while. But then...Ridley still has his missteps. There’s Legend, first of all, but then 1492 comes along in the ‘90s, and that’s...a fucking horrible movie. But again, Scott loves his historical epics, as we know. Speaking of historical epics...

Aaaaaand, he’s back on top. Gladiator is another smash hit, and nets Scott his first Oscar win for Best Director. He’d been nominated before for Thelma and Louise, but hadn’t won yet. He also, uh...wouldn’t win again, as of yet. But more on that later, because Gladiator is doing awesome! Five Academy Awards, everybody’s entertained, Joaquin Phoenix dies. And then...

And we’re back down again. Hannibal...isn’t great. A sub-par sequel to Silence of the Lambs, the film does well commercially, but pretty poor critically. But hey, it’s Ridley Scott, he’ll recover with his next film, right?

Oooooooooh, damn, that’s a bad misstep. Even for Ridley.

Yeah, Kingdom of Heaven is bad, Like, BAD bad. Riding off of the historical epic craze at the time, AND Orlando Bloom’s insane popularity at the time, this film severely faltered during a high point in Sir Ridley’s career. Oh, yeah, before this film? Dude was knighted for his service to the British Film Industry. Yeah, he was a HUGE deal. So, I’ll be referring to him as Sir Ridley Scott from now on.

Ridley starts to pick up the pieces again. He makes a biopic based on American history with the Frank Lucas biopic American Gangster, and that goes very well for him. Russell Crowe is in that one, alongside Denzel Washington as Lucas. Then, he takes a slight misstep with the spy thriller Body of Lies, starring Leo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe. And then, he makes a new and moderately received version of Robin Hood, starring...

Some directors have their favorite actors, right? Scott’s favorite actor is Crowe. Anyway, he returns to the Alien franchise with Prometheus, which is...OK. Then, his brother Tony passes away, sadly, just as the two had started executively producing...The Good Wife? Huh. Go figure, but OK. And then...well, he makes a misstep of a different sort.

Now, at this point, I will understandably lose some of you. Because Scott directs Exodus: Gods and Kings, a story set in the time of Moses...in Egypt...and starring an almost entirely white cast. In Egypt. Including Moses, played by Christian Bale. And why, you ask? Because Scott said, and I quote:

I can't mount a film of this budget...and say that my lead actor is Mohammad so-and-so from such-and-such...I'm just not going to get financed.

Yikes. In case you didn’t catch that, he decided not to cast non-white actors for a movie starring Egyptian people...because it wouldn’t make any money for him. And it’s there that Ridley Scott might be a little racist. Because, yeah, it’s not necessarily an unreasonable comment in some ways, but...I dunno, take risks? You’re a goddamn filmmaker, that’s what you’re supposed to do? Yeah, not good. And neither was the movie, incidentally!

At this point, though, Sir Ridley Scott was moving on to The Martian, and that film was obviously excellent. But now, in the year 2022, his legacy is that of ups and downs, and he’s still going at the tender young age of 83. So, props there, I guess? Anyway, let’s look at one of the ups, huh?

Thelma and Louise is considered one of the greatest feminist films of the modern age by some, and is essentially...well, from the little I know about it, I know two things. One, “Sappho and her friend” energy is high with this one. And two, the ending is somewhat legendary, so...well, yeah, that’s sort of ruined for me...but when has that ever stopped me, right?

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Plot (by Callie Khouri)

Thelma (Geena Davis) is a housewife married to carpet salesman Darryl Dickinson (Christopher McDonald) who is ABSOLUTELY cheating on her. Like...it’s not even a little subtle. Dude is a verbally abusive dickhead to his sweet wife, and he tends to stay out late on Friday nights. Come on, Thelma, he’s cheating on you. Also, he’s played by Christopher McDonald, who I don’t think I’ve ever seen play a character who isn’t a dick.

Her best friend, Louise (Susan Sarandon) is a waitress at a local bumping diner. Together, the two are going on a fishing trip that weekend, while Darryl is away. And look, they’re best friends, and at least one of them is in an abusive relationship with her husband. There’s some energy there, I’m just saying. Oh, and before I forget to mention it, Thelma brings a gun along for protection. Which is fair, since this is the early ‘90s, and there are some unsafe people on the highways, men and...women...hmm. This reminds me of...something...

Well, anyway, the two gal-pals head off across the Arkansas countryside to this fishing cabin. They stop at a roadside trucker bar that evening, where Thelma immediately lets go of the housewife attitude and “lets her hair down”. This, of course, attracts the attention of Harlan (Timothy Carhart), a flirty stranger whose attention Thelma reciprocates and Louise spurns.

The party in the bar goes on, and Thelma gets a touch too drunk in the process. Harlan takes her outside for fresh air while Louise is in the bathroom. And yeah...the exact thing you expect to happen happens. Harlan makes the moves on her without her consent, and is about to rape her when Louise shows up, brandishing Thelma’s gun in the process. At gunpoint, Louise forces him to release Thelma, and Harlan takes that opportunity to talk back. Leading to...

Chekhov’s gun always fires.

This is a crime film, after all. Thelma and Louise are officially on the run, with Thelma wanting to go to the police, and Louise rightfully insisting that the odds of anyone believing them are low. And it’s also at this point that I realize what this movie is reminding me of...something. Man, this is gonna bug me.

While Thelma and Louise hang out in a diner, the cops arrive at the trucker bar to investigate Harlan’s murder. Head detective Hal Sloucomb (Harvey Keitel) interviews the waitress Lena (Lucinda Jenney), who served them both and points him away from the two women, insisting that they were not the type that would do this. Still, they decide to sic the FBI on the two missing women.

Thelma’s spiraling in panic, understandably, while Louise is...mostly calm and collected about this whole thing. The two have a mild argument, leading to Louise calling boyfriend Jimmy Lennox (Michael Madsen) to wire money to her in Oklahoma City. Her plan? Jet to Mexico, before the cops get on her tail. Thelma also calls Darryl, first at night when he isn’t home (and definitely cheating on her), and then the next day, when he doesn’t seem to care. He demands that she comes home, leading to her telling him to go fuck himself. Excellent.

As she comes out of the phone booth, she stumbles into...Brad Pitt? Huh. Apparently, this is J.D. (Brad Pitt), a handsome young man in cowboy attire, which just makes this seem more like Brokeback Mountain by the second. J.D. is attempting to get back to school, and asks the two girls for a lift. While Thelma seems open to the idea, Louise unsurprisingly refuses, and the two take off to Mexico, with Thelma officially along for the ride now. But they have to do so with the explicit goal out not going through Texas, Louise’s home state. Wonder why.

Hal continues his investigation of the two by talking to Darryl. On the road, as if guided by serendipity, the two encounter J.D. again, and agree to give him a ride to Oklahoma City, where Louise picks up they money order sent by Jimmy. And surprisingly enough...Jimmy himself is there to greet her. Louise turns him away, not wanting to drag him into this, and also displaying a continued disdain for the men that surround her. I mean, given this movie, that’s super understandable, but...you have to wonder, right? What happened in Texas?

Still, she does seem to genuinely care for Jimmy, and an angry and confused Jimmy seems to care for her...in a violent and mildly abusive way. By which I mean he throws a chair across the room, stops her from leaving, then gives her an engagement ring. Which, uh...mixed messages, bud, mixed messages. Meanwhile, J.D. returns to Thelma’s room for...well, come on, it’s Brad Pitt, and Thelma’s in a loveless abusive marriage. You know what’s about to happen.

Yup! He reveals to her that he’s a convicted thief on the run!

If you guessed, you get the prize of the encroaching dread at what’s probably gonna happen. J.D.’s an armed robber of many gas stations and convenience stores, currently skipping parole for his crimes. He and Thelma immediately have sex after this revelation, while Louise and Jimmy reminisce about their relationship. Louise does seem to love Jimmy, but refuses the proposal due to her present predicament.

Morning comes, and Louise and Jimmy part ways, with a hope to meet again one day soon. Thelma comes down post-coitus, and they realize that J.D.’s alone in the room...with the money. And he’s a thief. So, uh...yeah, it’s gone. And they’re officially fucked now. Now it’s Louise’s turn to break down while Thelma has the level head, apparently having an idea of what to do. In the meantime, Hal bugs Darryl’s phone with the help of Agent Max (Stephen Tobolowsky), hoping to get her location when she calls him. Also, I haven’t really said it yet, but...Darryl’s a piece of shit. I just had to put that on the record, because he is.

It is now at this point that we find out why Thelma was so calm about the lost money: she robbed a goddamn store. See, J.D. gave her some pretty clear instructions the night before, and Thelma remembered it all. Which means that, at this point, in the eyes of the law, they are both OFFICIALLY fucked. But hey...at least they have money now, amirite? And it’s here that their crime spree begins in earnest. And...OH WAIT! THAT’S what this reminds me of!

I’ll elaborate more...in Part Two! See you there.

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