#for rhe curse part: he killed too many people. he was cursed to never be able to go in the void again without dying

[chimsartblog]

i am in love with the species swapped clownpierce ( and your clownpierce in general . ) may we see more please

Of Course.... Heres more Clown Pears. Specifically notes on him and how I draw him

#mcyt #clownpierce #asks #i love drawing this thing. hes really fun #for rhe curse part: he killed too many people. he was cursed to never be able to go in the void again without dying #which sucks. imagine you cant go back to your homeland because if you do you'd SUFFOCATE and DIE #he typically covers his whole body and skin. because he likes the intrigue it gives him he likes being a mystery it keeps people coming #and if people come that means theres entertainment. there is Fun to be Had. dude deals in warfare both physically and psychologically #also. note: this took like a Week. thats bc of the strike ✊ i hope u understand

[emperorofbullshit]

The fucking amount of pure anger i have been and currently am sill suppressing is reaching peaks that eould make rhe fucking hulk look like a toddler throwing a fucking tantrum. Mever in my fuckin life have i wanted to punch something at the mere mention of its name and the sound of it even fucking breathing not to fucking mention the bloodrush i get when said thing starts speaking to me and DARE

TO

Fucking

Lexcture

Me

About being good and not doing too many mistakes and that shit

Holy fucking hell i actualky want to strangle him within an inch of his life and at the last second let him go so that his lungs can refill with air only for me to restart the fucking cycle of strangling until he would rather kill himself that ever take a single breath again. I use this damn website as a ways to vet but i can no linger do that because i actually have people i care about in here and they have found me out and i cannot be as free as before without losing what little i have left. I olnyfucking wanred some companionship. Some fucking care or just a random talk from someone that actually gives a shit about my what is wrong with me cuz i fucking kniw half the shit that goes through my head is so damn wrong it makes the fucking concept of death quiver before it and this is not just some metaphore i cannot actually feel anything from death around me anymore be the dead person a close person of mine or just some rando on the street. I want to go to the therapist but there is no such thing as a therapist in this backwards country of mine and i i rven wwant to display the wish of wanting to see a therapist i will be condemned as insane ir mentally unstable by thie around me. By those fuckers that have grown up with a mom and dad covering behind them while I whose own father has repeatedly told him that he would kill me if i didnt do things right sice fucking childhood has ti endure the mental instability. The mental torture and the fucking dreams im not having. I finally find someone i am venuinely interwsten in making her smile but how the hell cqn i do that when the only support i have is my own broken mind and cracked heart. Not one of the people i keep close to me know the real me and that would be for the best because i cannit have them change their attitude towards me just because if some bullshit and even more than that i dont want them to fucking feel pity because i vow upon this curses name of kine that if i see anyone look at me with pity in their eyes i will gouge them out with a fucking oencil and then put them in their hands. I wrote all of tjis but i will never post this because i dont want to break down all what i have build and i do most certanly not want to ruin my chances with her. I had hoped someone woul notice that behind all the talking, behind all the smiling and laughing, someone was crawled up in a corner and crying with all their soul. That a kid a the same age as them is numbing his heart so as not to ruin what he has teied so hard to build and so as to nit be seen as an outcast.by those he sees as dear. I have given up on superficial oppinions others have about me and i take pride in my ability to help my fruneds in their times of need and for being there fir them to depend on me however at the same time i am saddened that so far, noone has askwd me if im doing ok. Noone has asked why i never speak about my family or anything related and noone has seen the tears i shed every time i hug someone. Noone has noticed how i hold them when i give a hug, noone notices my heart stops for the duration of it and noone notices how reluctant my eyes look after parting. My only hope is that in time, i will be able to find someone who is willing to help me out of the kindness in their heart and pick up on the many clues i have hidden and put the pieces together.

I am not fine. I have never been fine, but i still jave fjat thing called hope that someday i will meet someone and if i dont, then so be it.