#for the past few weeks ive been stuck in the headspace of like 'well i kinda wanna draw (thing) but i've also got The ProjectTM' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 24 days

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hi, im a mutual of yours who is too shy/on&off tumblr to interact, but i do look up to you; and your blog and way of seeing things helped me in the past when i was struggling quite a bit.

Lately I feel as if im lost in life, lost my passions and floating aimlessly without a real goal, detached from the future etc. Do you have any advice? I appreciate ur view on things, hope this isnt overstepping 🌦🌈

hi its ok no pressure too interact w me ona personal level just cus were mutuals i enjoy the ambient bonds that can form on this website its why i stay ^^ and no it's not overstepping at a;ll sorry it took me a lil while to respond i was trying to think of good advice since i often feel lost too---

well firs t n foremost to give credit where credit is due, this bjork reddit AMA response really gets to the bottom of it , ever since i first read this here on tumbr a few years ago it really rly stuck w me:

the way this answer helped me is like, it helped me realize i dont need to be so regimented i dont need to put all this pressure on myself to create..All that does is feed into self inflicted guilt when i cant live up to my own expectations u.u you see for my whole life i've never been able to plan anything. yes i can think about the next steps i want to take, i can assemble a plan, i can see the logical way forward, but my moods. or like, idek. how to explain..

i cant force anything. if im not feeling it, i cant force it. ive STRUGGLED w this like i dont wanna be this way. because my feelings i cant predict. like for example i worked on music all winter because thats what i was feeling. then suddenly in march i just like, wasnt feeling it all of a sudden. As soon as it hit me i was like Fy767*T&UG*** because i didnt know when it was gonna come back. i still dont know!! im just trying to be patient waiting it out..in the mean time i have suddenly become enthused with drawing again after not ~feeling~ drawing for most of 2023. sometimes i go for weeks where i dont take a single photo and then suddenly it starts flowing again.. my website was also left untouched for most of 2023 until recently.

thats just one example of this repeating pattern in my life that i didnt understand for so long. theres years of my 20s where i couldnt feel passion for anything at all, looking back now i believe those times i was meant to be focusing on stuff in my psyche that needed healing to clear out some headspace for art. and this bjork quote put a lot into perspective it showed me how to reformulate my thinking to be more accomodating to my disposition. when i'm patient & kind w myself, take each day as it comes, let go of the imaginary pressure, let go of "the future", stuff starts to come thru easier.

and maube its gonna show up in ways you dont expect but its true that the mundane world offers so many ways to practice being creative & giving u stuff to weave into the art u want to create.. every water fall starts w a single drop its trueits true :] thats my advice i spose i really didnt meant to write this much but im boooored.. actually my nighttime boredom writing is one of those habits i never considered to b creative until very recently. there's so many small & automatic things we do that can lead to a meaningful life & purpose.

thanks for the question anon i hope this helps in some way , this is whats helped me but everyone's process is different. and i still have moments where im like WTFFF is happening but its easier to ride it out now. i wish the same for you just give it time <3 thanks again xPmd9

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storm-driver · 4 years

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another little update on how i’ve been, hopefully i can start coming back around to Tumblr soon!

my eldest cat, after 19-years of health issues, has been put down. he was in immense pain these past few months and the only reason he wasn’t put down immediately was because my father demanded that the cat was okay simply because the cat “didn’t look like he was in pain.” this was a complete oversight, since the cat slept through most days, would often stop and pause in the middle of walking while shaking or stumbling, and fell over quite often. he would cry when we would go to pet him or pick him up, which wasn’t normal before his injuries got worse. it was a rough past few weeks, for him and for my family being forced to watch him. fortunately, my mother brought him in today after my father left town for a few days to have him put down. rest assured, we did everything we could, but he would not have survived any surgery due to his kidney issues, his cancer, or his age. and we did not have the money besides to get it to work.

i wanna say thank you to the people that have donated to helping us out in these trying times. the money that was donated was put towards paying off my college bills and some of it was for the medicine for my cat to help him through the pain. any further donations will be taken directly into savings to help my mother pay the bills until she can get a stable job again.

one last apology for how absent i’ve been since kh3 remind came out. ive been using ffxiv and other games as an escape from the harsh home life i’m dealing with. it’s not brutal or anything of the like, but my mental health has gradually gotten worse dealing with my father and how he treats me, my mother and my sister. i sincerely hope to get back to writing KH stories again, as well as interacting with the community more. i’ve been quite active on twitter recently, though it is a mostly ffxiv twitter so if that’s not your interest, i don’t advise following it haha.

thank you so much for everyone that’s stuck with me for the past four or five years. i appreciate each and every single one of you. i’m sorry my asks have been piling up (im well over 200 now woops) but hopefully i can get to answering them with a clearer headspace soon!

i love you all! please continue to be safe during the pandemic even as places are re-opening! there’s not such thing as being too safe, and please be sure to respect other people’s boundaries to prevent spreading COVID-19. we can do this, i believe in us!!

#stormy weather #long post #update #sorry for how long this got!!#i just needed to spill my heart out somewhere and i dont think any discord servers im in needed to hear my sob story >.<

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