#forced into a sort of flat affect in order to mask and not inconvenience anybody

[koishikei]

yoooooo i'm gonna have another mental breakdown~

#kei goes off #something something..emotional regulation or lack thereof #forced into a sort of flat affect in order to mask and not inconvenience anybody #but because i live with 3 other people that's literally 24/7 of masking #because when anyone else shows any semblance of negative emotion around me i get super uncomfortable and even triggered #so why would i knowingly do that to someone else by having my own emotions? #so i hold everything in for days and days at a time until i fucking explode #i've been extra crazy today anyway because i'm so exhausted from yesterday and my nerves are all shot so i'm in widespread pain #i rly should be laying in bed but i can't lay in my office (threat of being disturbed putting me on high alert) #and i can't lay down in the bedroom because i'm guaranteed to be disturbed and also sensory overload with no escape