#from saph

[dear-ao3]

#this is a mid poll sorry ok ive been dying of sick #not a tag #from saph #saphs poll of the day

[dear-ao3]

"its a good thing we are not famous because people would write such weird fanfic about us" i say, sitting on the bathroom floor eating ice cream out of the container while staring at katya, who is getting out of the shower

#no we are not dating and no we will not date katya has a partner #things like this occur frequently #not a tag #from saph

[dear-ao3]

thank you everyone for 100k followers! if youve been here since the way beginning you'll remember that this used to be a serious ao3 blog before it devolved into absolute madness (but i like it much better this way!)

heres just a few of the asks ive gotten over the years that were simply too batshit to post. i didnt know what to do with them, but this seems like it could be a good use??? love you all and i cant wait to continue to cause problems on this website with you all :)

#not a tag #from saph

[dear-ao3]

if i’m a bad bitch then why must god smite me with green dust (pollen)?

#not a tag #from saph

[dear-ao3]

in case you are wondering why katya just reblogged miku binder jefferson

#not a tag #from saph #i had nothing to do with this

[dear-ao3]

Question for the mods....

HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU MEET???

Like what???

How??

I am so god damn curious about you two. I wanna study yall under a microscope lol

Also ngl kinda envious of how close of friends you two seem to be. (Being an introverted shy af mofo sucks lmao)

I would actually probably read a whole ass book or watch a sitcom or something of the seemingly ever present weird-ass shit that seems to happen on a day-by-day basis.

/gen /lh /nf /pos

2018 newsies fandom. we weren't overly close but we bonded over race and albert a little and then katya dropped off the face of the earth for about a year.

during 2020 lockdown we both independently got into the witcher fandom and somehow ran into eachother again and had the fingers pointing OH MY GOD Y O U !!! moment in our dms. we bonded over hating jaskier. during this time we realized we were both dancers and katya was looking at dance colleges, i was already in college for dance and since it was lockdown and we couldn't go anywhere i told katya my experience auditioning at places to give him a good idea of places. and then i broke every internet safety rule known to man and said hey what if you had applied to my college but didnt know it?? and then one thing led to another and i dished out all the tea on my school. (only After that did we face reveal and give eachother our names lol) and then katya applied. mostly as a joke. until it wasnt a joke because that school gave katya a shit load of money and actually had stuff katya wanted to do. katya ended up coming to one of my zoom ballet classes and it took everything we had to not loose our shit on camera.

during this time we mostly kept eachother sane in lockdown writing witcher fanfic, and sending eachother awful thirst traps on instagram to pitbull music. one of our awful bits was using the dilf filter to make bad frat boy edits.

come august of 2021 we both moved into college. the same college. in the same building. it was wild. i pinched myself several times in shock. we went on a walk around campus with some worms on strings and were like what the hell how did we get here.

we continued to hang out and did weird insane things together. we took a class on the french revolution together where i had to put up with katya and fennec awkwardly flirting (read: making finger guns at eachother).

and then, since i was 2 years older, i was graduating and was going to stay in the area for a job and was like hey. what if we got an apartment together? and then we did. several adults agreed to this. idk why they let us. but now we live together in a real life apartment and we haven't even killed eachother yet. neither of our parents know that we met online. each of them have a different fake story as to how we know eachother and we really just hope they are never in the same room long enough to ask eachother about it. but its insane. 12/10 would recommend.

katya wanted me to include old tumblr screenshots of us talking, heres what i found from circa 2020:

we've always been like this lol

and heres some ancient greatest hits from instagram, i dont have context and trust me you dont want it:

every now and then the two of us look at eachother and go. how the fuck did we end up here??? (we have no idea)

#not a tag #from saph #storytime ig lol #sorry for the god awful quality #essentially we are basically dan and phil which is insane

[dear-ao3]

sometimes i wonder what conversations you get up to to be sending so many of these questionable texts so often

well my roommate was originally my tumblr mutual and my sister and i are best friends so i have a whole lot of weird conversations

#not a tag #from saph

[dear-ao3]

feeling incredibly bad that the china update to the massive f1 drama post is nowhere near done yet (life has got in the way oops) so heres an excerpt:

#yea!! so its coming i PROMISE #theres just a lot and i also have a lot to do #not a tag #from saph #f1 #nico rosberg

[dear-ao3]

just wanted to let u know it was me that offered to make the art plaque thing and i've already made it

feel free to post whenever u get there (or not)

WE HAVE MADE IT THANKS FOR THE PLAQUE

#not a tag #from saph

[dear-ao3]

Please explain why I am watching a F1 documentary with my dad when I have no interest in cars or car racing

idk buddy! but thats how it starts :)

#not a tag #from saph

[dear-ao3]

Holy shit...

That is so god damn incredible... Yall are the weirdest and just absurdly cool couple of friends /pos /gen /lh

Now one of you die so the other has a tragic superhero origin story lmao /j

no no

no can do

we have to pay our rent!

#not a tag #from saph #i feel like we have talked about our lore before but i guess not in awhile

[dear-ao3]

do you guys still hate jaskier

yeah

#not a tag #from saph #some things never change

[dear-ao3]

why do you hate jaskier? :(

hes annoying

#not a tag #from saph #there were probably other reasons but it has been a solid four years since i have thought about him so

[dear-ao3]

and for those of you wondering about the f1 update post, its coming i promise. hopefully tomorrow!

#sorry y'all it was supposed to be done yesterday but i got sick and passed out for 12 hours #not a tag #from saph

[dear-ao3]

best brownies in the known universe (at least, according to my grandma)

some year and a half ago when i was getting ready to move out i combed through all the family recipes that lay lost to time and one of the ones that i found was my grandmas brownie recipe. idk where she got it from (nor can i ask cause she has dementia) and its a printed out email she sent to my mom in june 2000. but by george these the best brownies i have ever tasted. would she be pleased that i am sharing this recipe with my vast following? absolutely.

YOU WILL NEED:

5 tablespoons butter (unsalted) 1 ounce unsweetened baking chocolate (or as much as your heart desires) 2/3 cup unsweetened good cocoa powder 1 cup sugar (white) (superfine preferred, normal works fine) 1 cup sifted white flour (can use gluten free) 1/2 teaspoon baking powder as much cinnamon as your heart desires (your heart needs to desire at least some cinnamon. its essential to the recipe) 3 egg whites 1 egg splash of vanilla extract (again, non negotiable step!)

preheat your oven to 325 degrees. grease a square baking pan (9x9 preferably).

in a small saucepan over medium heat melt the butter and baking chocolate. while that is melting, sift together the flour, baking powder and cinnamon into a small bowl. once the butter and chocolate is done melting add the cocoa powder and cook it together for 1 minute. add in the sugar and stir. it will get very thick. this is correct.

set that aside to cool. while thats cooling take a large bowl and put in your egg whites, egg and vanilla. beat it up with preferably a whisk but you can use a fork if youre fresh out of whisks. once the chocolate is cool enough to not scramble your eggs dump it in the eggs and mix it together. add the flour in gradually and keep mixing until its smooth and happy.

spread into your greased baking pan. put it in the oven for EXACLTLY 18 MINUTES. very crucial step. they will come out slightly under done. that is what we want. as they cool they will continue to cook in the pan. we dont want them to get hard and sad. they are not good when they are hard and sad. do not overbake them. you will be sad.

slice them up and as the official last step on the original recipe says: EAT ENJOY AND MAKE MORE! (theyre very good with mint chocolate chip ice cream)

#not a tag #from saph #recipes #brownies #please tell me if you make these!

[dear-ao3]

#not a tag #from saph #november 5