#happy taemint reading

[ohmuqueen]

x

Part 2 here bc tumblr wouldn’t let me add anymore screenshots to this post

#shinee #taemin #lee taemin #taemin guilty #ltmguilty #ltmguilty meta #lengthy post #i shared just the link and the top two screenshots a few days ago but i wanted to have the whole thing on my blog #so here ya go #happy taemint reading

[i-numaki-remade]

mmmm idk what to say i've never made a follow forever before 😖😖 but seeing as 2018 is coming to a close and stuff I figured I would. I'm including like everyone who I follow which is a lot of people (about 300). I think I am mutuals with most of you and quite honestly I really appreciate everyone sticking around. I know I'm not always the most positive and pleasant person to follow but I try my best I promise 😖😖 So whether you've followed me recently or whether you followed me after I remade a few months ago I really appreciate you and I love you all. 

So @ everyone under the read below thingy I hope you all have a fantastic few days of 2018 and I hope 2019 brings you all so much happiness and great opportunities because it’s what you all deserve!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

#

@01lumos @1ovmze @1jun @1uwuji @2monstax @4bsk @4woozis @13-scoups @13babes @17dad @17loona @48i

A - E

@adorablestor @adoremoon @actualangeljoshuahong @aescatic @ahgajae @akabouvardia @aoitao @artwonu @babewoojin @babymp4 @baekonbaek @baksubaksu @bangchans-babygirl @batao @beagleseungcheol @beast-boohoos @bijihoon @biseoksoon @bookwan @boymeetsjoonie @bubbleotter @bublegvm @bulbagyu @caprishua @changkyuns @chanhansol @cheoeum @cheollielesbian @cherriekyun @christmaskwan @chws @claaaap @closeloves @cutebi @cuteorscary @daddywoozi @darklordofthegalaxy @daycarat @defspul  @deobitual @depresstanciya @dimplesgf @distant-fields @dolcissimos @dreams-and-cookies@dreamdonghyuck @exischential @exo-waithowdidigethere @extrajun

F - J

@fairitale @fallgyu  @feckingminghao @flirtyxuxi @flowerwonu @furryowo @fxllenforyxu @gentletae @gettingclosermp3 @ghostvirtue @girlfronting @gnodhyuck @gothwonhui @gyugoth @gyute @haechnn @handsomevchwe @hansgirl @happysoonyoung @hwall-i-want-is-you @hearttoshu @himeaegyo @honei-boii @honeyjacks @honeyjaemiin @honeyboylixxie @hortancie @hoshihoshlove @hoshisbigtoe @hoshisfatgf @httpyuta @huejeong @huihaos @hxshi @hyuckcryptid @hyungwon @ice-cream-s-coups @im-the-mac @intojennie @itakefullresponsibilityofrenjun @itskgirlfriend @jaeminrenjun @je0nghans @jeonghans-bunny @jeonghansvalentine @jeontitties @jeonwonxwoo @jhope-seok @jihooms @jinglehuns @jinjiinwoo @jjoshuwu @jokerstrance @joongs @jootoda @jun-soul  @junhuisorbit @juniemoony @joshujia @jungjinsoul

K - O

@kaekurihao @k-inos @kimjiwoogf @kittyhoonie @kjonghyvns @kkimingyu @kwansgf @kwonsoonshine @kxmwoojxn @lacebowsanddoilies @lastwallflower @lazyhani @lesb1anism @live-love-growamoustache @ljhz @lovebugjiwon @lovjeon @lovnjm @lovnletter @lunaxmadel @mafuki @mawrklee @middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich @midnightmusic96 @mihhyus @milkandhannie @minhyuksfatgf @minluvbot @minniesmarshmallow @mintkyun @mo0n1e @moonbinlesbian @moonitaeil @my-woozi-happiness @myungho @nctdreamnight @ncityzen @ncty0ng @neo-yeppuda @neosgf @notasprettyasjeonghan @nyeongbf @officialchangbinn @offswoozi @omegakyungsoo

P - R

@park-chan-yall @peach-suburbia @peachmangoes @peachzelda @petitshinee @pixie-lixie @pledis-boos @powerfulsoonyoung @princewjh @puddingyeol @qimei @qiuu-tong @randomamyfriendlypenguin @reportaed @retrohyunjin @rockmymansae @round-ass-of-freedom @ryujiimnida

S

@s-0nya @sagittariusbarbie @santakyeom @sarangjae-min @sebntin @seokhvc @seokminseok @seungcheol @sheisdopamine @shootinglovemp4 @shownusbabygirl @shuabun @shugasshi @shuuvee @shyybabykookie @siidereeus @singu1arityy @sleepyljihoon @sleepyngi @snowflakejun @squishy-jihoonie@spicy-junhuis @squishy-woozi @soeksol @softhakyeon @softshushu @solarhyuck @solcoups @soo-heart-lips @soocculents @soons-star @soonhosh @soonshui @soonyoun96 @soonyoungz @soybeantree @ssngkwans @ssoftgyu @starryshua @stellarwonwoo @sukaato @summerxmagic @sunkissedkpops @sun-shine-line @sung @supercriminalwolf @suppprt-day6 @sweetjaehyun @sweetstrawberry213 @svt-train @svteen-bts @svteencult @svteenwonunu @svthoon @svtsgirl @svtymmd 

T - Z

@taelights  @taemint-l @taeshua @takestoolongtodo @tetrispieceofpimps @therarara @toberlonetrombone @transboytaeil @triplehsofresh @tropicyeol @tswoondere @uniicornsarereall @wonhaohan @wonhwi @wonnotwoo @wonuuu-ya @wonwoooooooooow @wonwooplease @woozifi @velvetchen @vromantic @xiinchun @xiudough @xiuminsberet @xuminghao-o @yeahwxnwoo @yixingminseokjongdae @yoonjunghan @younnghoon @yutah

#god i hope the read more works bc this is so so long im sorry #follow forever #i hope this works in general bc this took me like 2hours #i follow so many ppl #and like everyone brings smth different and i genuinely recognise nearly all 300 ppl >.< #so its hard to pick certain ppl

[shawol-till-the-end]

I will be talking about a sensitive topic which is the ot4 thingy so if you don't want to read, feel free to ignore this post because it will be long.

First of all I know very well that shawols or mostly mvps are pain in the ass to you atm because we keep on repeating that this account or that account is ot4 but it actually hurt so so so much. I'm not saying that the people who reblog or take from the ot4 accounts are ot4 or support them because they might simply don't know but as well not care?

Thanks to @ nd_medhat on Twitter they posted some of the things they said about him which I actually went to look and see but guess what? That bitch deleted them lol

But when I searched I couldn't find any of that, the only thing I found was this

Which I'm pretty sure she forgot to delete lmao.

If Onew is actually guilty I will be the first to stop being his fan but he was found innocent and I'm not even going to support what he did because he can be a dumb ass sometimes. But he was found innocent and the case was closed and we moved on so seeing people supporting these accounts hurt like hell to mvps, to shawols, to lockets, to Taemints, to blingers and flamers.

It's actually very upsetting because there are so many great bloggers in here that I like and still reblog from ot4 or make gifs from their videos (I know they don't support them and that's even more upsetting)

I don't even know how to end this post. To tell you to be more careful? To search for those ot4? The only thing I can say is do you but don't get annoyed at us for stating that these accounts are ot4. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I'm just telling you what I know so you can be careful next time.

The ot4 thing will never end anyways and I'm pretty sure the only way it will end is God forbidden if Onew left SHINee or died because yes that's what they wanted and yes that's what they wished for. Those ot4 are scary and Jinki see them every day and God knows what they tell him or how disgusting they can be because everyone knows how scary korean fans can be tbh.

Anyways! Listen to Voice and stay happy

#Sigh

[smoldinopup]

Taemin @ Music Bank 2018.09.15 #fan account

I hope it’s okay that I tag everyone who liked my post about writing a fan account. If you don’t care about reading it, please just ignore it. ^^”

 @choiminoh @killyth (tumblr won’t allow me to tag you D:) @moshiznik @chocolatcandy @jinkirella @gone-with-the-bling @frostymist13 (I can’t tag you either - what is this sorcery?) @jasthelion @petitshinee

The people who have read my previous fan accounts know that I ramble a lot in them, so I apologize for that in advance. I will talk about the whole experience which will also include the time before the actual concert. If you don’t want to read the before you can just scroll to the part titled “Concert”

I flew to Berlin on Friday morning and had to get up in the middle of the night (3:30 AM) for it. While I boarded the plane at 7 AM in the morning all I could think was “I’m getting too old for this – for all of this!” Funnily enough I already spotted other fans at the gate flying to Berlin as well. In the morning I met up with a friend of mine who happened to be in Berlin as well on that weekend. We had breakfast and went to a museum; one of those you in which you stand in front of an object, wondering  if “this this art or can it be thrown away?”. Later on I checked into my hostel and met one of my roommates. I shared a room with two other SHINee fans who I met on a Discord channel that was created for the sole purpose of Taemin at Music Bank. She was very lovely, but quickly vanished because she had to wait in line at the concert hall for a number. The numbering system for the standing tickets was a complete mess and people already camped in front of the concert hall on Thursday. My other roommate only arrived at 2 AM in the morning, because after his flight from Denmark he immediately went to the venue to get a number as well. I was just glad that I had a seat and didn’t have to worry about getting a number.

Friday afternoon I met up with @sobeautifulitkillsme which was very frightening and terrifying! I’ve met her on tumblr in July of 2016 and have kept talking to her ever since. I think it was the longest time I’ve talked to someone online that intensely without having them met in real life before. But good news! We don’t hate each other’s guts now and still talk just as much *throws confentti* 

We went to a planetarium because that’s what you do people! Anyway, we had a fun time together and when I came back to the hostel at around 11 PM I just showered (the washroom was awful) and fell into my bed.

The next morning I grabbed breakfast with one of my roommates before we drove to the hall at around 10 AM. The lines were already incredibly long at that point. A lot of fansites and support sites handed out banners, balloons, photocards, and in the case of shawolseurope even lightsticks at the park right next to the venue and the lines for the goods were ridiculous long. You automatically meet a lot of people while waiting for stuff or just hanging around, so I talked to a lot of people though I’ve never learned any of their names. I still wonder who that girl from Norway was. She seemed very nice but I lost sight of her when I had to get into another line. :(

After getting banners I joined my Danish roommate beneath a tree in the park because I didn’t know anyone there and had no idea what I was supposed to do until the concert. My roommate happened to know taedelight who sat beneath the tree as well to give out her super beautiful postcards, therefore I witnessed a lot of Shawols squealing over meeting her. That was very adorable to witness from an outsider point of view. ^^ Anyway, we sat beneath that tree until 3 PM before the people with the standing tickets went into their standing sections (cages - we called them cages) and I went back to the hostel to grab something to eat.

I came back to the venue at 6 PM and sneaked in line for the seating tickets because I spotted Gitte (bblingspot) and while doing so I discovered an old student of mine sitting on the ground (I already feared that would happen because I had so many Kpop fans sitting in my classes). My seat was in Block P and funnily enough I ended up sitting next to a Taemint. The people to my right were all EXO fans and when I stored all my stuff beneath the seat I turned towards her and asked “Are you German?” because I noticed that she was alone in this Block as well. After she answered with Yes and I went on to ask “Whom are you here for?” and she said “For Taemin <3” all I could say was “That’s the correct answer” and we talked throughout the show. She was still super young (either 17 or 18, I forgot) and her friends were in the standing section. She had been a Taemin fan for five years already and was so nervous and excited to finally see him live. I more or less mothered her through the show, told her that it’s okay if she has to cry and if she needs some support that I’m right next to her. She already lost it when Taemin came on stage for the entrance. It was very cute, because I could relate to this so much since I still remember how I felt when Jonghyun came on stage during my first concert of his

.Concert

Everyone screamed their lungs out when the show finally started. It was insane. Really. One by one the artists came on stage with Korean and German flags in their hands and the volume of the screams only rose. Before the actual start of the show the organizers had already shown videos of the participating artists on the screen and that was already insane. I think I’ve never screamed and cheered as loud as I did during Taemin’s performances before, but as a Shawol I felt the urge to let Taemin know that many people also came to Berlin to cheer for him.

Taemin looked soooo beautiful!! I’ve already seen him live with black hair, and with blue hair, and with blond hair ….but the way they styled his hair that evening! That was incredibly beautiful. I was already in awe after he had just entered the stage. At first I thought he might be not in a good mood because him and the EXO members all looked bored out of their minds in the background while the MCs spoke to the audience, but later on he smiled so much and looked so genuinely happy to be there that I thought the sun was up.

After the introduction all the performers disappeared from the stage again and the concert started with Stray Kids. Except for EXO and obviously Taemin I had no idea who the other artists were, only knew them by name but had not heard a single song by any of them. However, I was pleasantly surprised by Stray Kids! I liked them a lot. They were fun to watch, the songs were nice, and they performed well. Since this wasn’t a SHINee concert it was fun to watch the single SHINee lightsticks stand out from the rest of the audience. Even while Taemin wasn’t performing Shawols supported the other artists by waving their pearl aqua lightsticks around to cheer for them which I thought was very nice. I wasn’t too impressed by either G-Idle’s nor Wanna One’s performances. They both performed really well and sung really well, but the songs just weren’t my cup of tea but it was lovely to hear how many cheered for the only girlgroup in the mix since girlgroups always have it harder at these kind of events (or let’s be honest - in general).

I remember how everyone on tumblr speculated what mysterious performance Taemin could do in Germany after performing Despacito in Chile and Reality in France. My neighbor and I really hoped he would pull a Rammstein or something, but then Chanyeol came on stage with a song that was such an obvious choice that I facepalmed myself for not having it on my mind beforel. Oh my! I mentioned only a week or two ago that in another life I’d be a total Chanyeol stan, because in my world we support talent and musicality, and his performance of Wind of Change was just so lovely?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I melted into a puddle of goo. He performed it with a guitar and his pronunciation was so good and I was all heart eyes.😍

The thing is Wind of change is an incredibly old song, and I’m quite sure 80% of the audience who were 18 or younger had never heard this song before which I think was sad, but I sang along very, very loudly while waving my SHINee lightsticks around (me an actual old person getting all nostalgic). There were also other special stages with Boney M. songs, but just with the Scorpions I’m quite sure most of the audience had no idea who Boney M. were. :’)  

Stray Kids, Wanna One, and G-Idle also performed other popular Kpop songs from BTS, GOT7 and Big Bang and the whole venue was shaking. There were also quizzes in between the performances and during one of those quizzes the audience had to decide whether the statements were true or false by making an O or X with their hands. All the artists’ questions were very simple to answer but then the Taemin question was “Taemin’s bloodtype is B” and the whole audience fell silent except for Shawols who all formed an OOOOOOOOOO with their hands. I only said to my neighbor….a question only Shawols can answer. I don’t know why they chose that question to be honest?!! But there was also the statement “Taemin looks very pretty” and the screen showed a short clip of Taemin backstage looking all cute and angelic and everyone was losing it. LMAO

I’m not biased when I say that Taemin got the most standing ovation. I mean EXO-Ls were insanely loud, but the cheers were still very different. Taemin came on stage and everyone was like

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ AJIAJSGPIJAPGJWAPSJGPDHOAJORSFJOÜVANWOAJSÜGOJAGOJA!!!!

Myself included!

Even on the way home fans from other groups praised him. He just has that effect on people. But I also heard someone next to us say before the concert “When Taemin comes on stage my friend is going to leave the venue. She hates him and I was just like ???? Why? How? How can anyone hate Taemin? For what? For being awesome???? I was very confused by that statement to be honest.

Taemin started off with MOVE and I was so happy to finally see that performance live. Oh man, he looked so good *cries* The fanchants were so good! The best fanchants during the evening! I was so proud of Shawols! I even received comments from Korean shawols on the video I uploaded, praising Ishawols for their fanchants. They were really good and all on point! You did well Shawols!!!

Taemin was all professionally sensual during the performance but as soon as he song was over he smiled so brightly. It was soooooo adorable. Unlike the other performers he didn’t say anything in German or English, which I thought was a pity. (Addition: Apparently he did say “Hallo ich bin Taemin von SHINee” but I didn’t hear that. It must have been drowned out by cheers) Either way, in that moment I had the very sad thought that if Jonghyun would be standing there on stage (as a known lover of the German language) he probably would have said “Achtung Achtung! Ich bin Jonghyun” unleashing all his German skills. :’)

So, Taemin continued talking and joked around with the audience, being his playful and dorky self and I think at this point everyone in the audience was already in love with him. I mean how can you not? He’s just so precious. He performed Press Your Number next (that’s the point when I started filming as well). After Press Your Number Taemin showed us his surprise and all the Shawols went crazy when Minho and Key appeared on the screen behind Taemin. I already expected something like an introduction for Taemin like Key did for the Music Bank in Chile but hearing them sing together was too much for my poor heart. It was soooo precious. Taemin’s face lit up so much when he saw his members on the screen, it was so cute, all my mother feels awakened and I cheered even louder.

Taemin also performed Hynposis and Danger and both performances were soooooooo awesome. The Shawol ocean looked so beautiful during Hypnosis and I was so touched by how many pearl aqua lightsticks lit up during it. Taemin sounded absolutely fantastic through all of his performances and his outfit was sooo nice and he looked so handsome in it. I was so sad when he left after his last performance because he could have stayed there forever. I don’t think EXO-Ls would have approved of that, but it was so nice to see him live again after over a year.

For the final everyone came back again to the main stage, holding banners in their hands and when Taemin turned to our side I started waving both my lighsticks very frantically and he waved back almost as frantically with both arms ;_; It was adorable. In general, Taemin made sure to walk to every section and wave at all the pearl aqua lightsticks he could see. Such a precious human. The show ended with Gangnam style and while Taemin held back at first he then wandered over to Kai, whispered something into his ear and the two of them walked to the middle of the center stage together with someone from Wanna One (don’t know his name…I’m sorry) and then they went completely nuts, acting like absolute dorks. I think you can find a video of that as well. All this couldn’t be seen on the main screen though, because the people behind the camera had a thing for Daniel Kang (who I only know from  watching Master Key) and filmed him throughout the final stage – literally only him – nobody else. I was very confused.

When everyone threw their banners into the audience I already expected great things from Taemin and he didn’t disappoint. He went to the edge of the stage and threw his banner – very poorly. It fell down right away and didn’t even reach the first row. I laughed so hard at that. He threw it so gracefully and yet he failed completely….He was the only one who didn’t manage to throw the banner accurately I might add. I don’t know what happened to it later. One of the staff might have picked it up to hand it to one of the fans.

Everything went by so quickly and before I knew what was happening I was outside of the venue already, looking for my roommates. It was such a nice experience, really. And it was so lovely to see Taemin smile so brightly and look so happy to see so many Shawols in the audience. It warmed my heart. Really. 

This was very fragmentary but Taemin only performed 4 songs + the “I want you” duet with MinKey, so there is not much else to say. But you all probably have seen photos/videos of his performances already and know how beautiful he looked that night – he really did.

I hope he will have a splendid time during his Japan tour and will rock the audience. But I also hope that he will have time to rest in between, because this tour surely will bring him to his limits. Please take good care of yourself, Taeminnie! Eat well and rest well! You deserve the world!!!

#dü speaks #lee taemin #SHINee

[fyjjong]

honestly. i didn't think that i'd have to do this but: after i made this post dedicated to blingers yesterday i both received a slew of upset messages and read some add on's by blogs that had reblogged it where people either said that i shouldn't have written what i did at all or that i shouldn't be "separating fandom". this is all i'm going to say: it's never been my intention to do that. over the last three weeks i've tried my hardest to console all shawols: mvps, blingers, lockets, flamers, taemints, those with more than one bias, those who have never settled on one. each post was made to comfort all but as i stressed in the post made: "this obviously goes for all shawols but this post is for blingers specifically". i made it obvious why the post was written: because i’ve had multiple blingers reach out to me who feel either cornered, guilty or as if they’ve been left behind. any other post that i make moving forward is going to continue to be for all shawols, but i want just one to be for blingers specifically. i didn’t want to make anyone feel bad. that was never my intention. i was not trying to say that mvps, lockets, flamers, taemints aren’t feeling an immense amount of pain over the loss of jonghyun. all i was trying to do is let blingers know that they’re not alone in how they feel, as we lost our ult, our #person. but, yeah, anyway. that’ll be my last post like that because i don’t want to upset people or receive any hostile messages. honestly, this is why a lot of blingers are afraid of saying how they’ve been feeling. i really can’t handle that right now but despite that i’m happy that there were some people who were able to find comfort in the post.

[lazilyglorioustraveler]

So... It seems like as SHINee’s 10th anniversary is almost upon us... The fandom is a disaster and Twitter is a war-zone.

Now I’ve read a lot of opinions and blogs coming from a lots of fans. And everyone has their own opinions, which I respect.

To be honest, I read a blog post from a Shawol and I agree with everything that she said there. She wrote about how she felt about no one (as in Korean media / SM) talking about Jonghyun or celebrating his life and hard work for this 10th anniversary. She also expressed how she wouldn’t be able to stay in the fandom if Jonghyun’s legacy won’t be celebrated this anniversary.

Although, I understand her sentiments; however, I decided to stay with the boys since the day I first met them 7 years ago, so I will never be leaving. Leaving is the person’s choice, and I respect that.

To be honest, I don’t know where I stand in this place where Shawols are actually standing against each other. In a way, we’re all breaking apart and that hurts. But I understand where all this is coming from.

I’ve lost my faith in SM completely. Jonghyun deserved better. 10 years... He gave more than 10 years of his life (if you count pre-debut years as well) to bring joy to others. As their agency, SM has profited from SHINee for 10 years. After everything that Jonghyun gave to SM for 10 fucking years, having a permanent memorial where the life he lived and the music he made could be celebrated was the least they could do in return. But there is no place for Jonghyun in the very establishment that he contributed to or a place where Shawols can find his overwhelming, larger than life, presence physically and find some closure or grieve openly between like-minded people.

In a way, it’s like no one wants to talk about him. And when I say no one, I mean the entire K-Media. I search everyday for something... anything related to Jonghyun written by someone or posted by someone. However, when mentioning SHINee and their 10th anniversary; it is absolutely not right for one to just exclude Jonghyun in the article or not mention him at all, just because he isn’t alive anymore. Yes, no one is obliged to talk about him all day, every day. And I understand that. But it’s like no one wants to address the magnitude of the loss the world has suffered from the death of a beautiful and talented human being because of a monster called ‘depression’.

I read people telling Shawols to keep Jonghyun alive in their hearts. But what about physically? Does he not deserve being remembered physically as well? That boy spent more than half his life pursuing music, bringing happiness to others, comforting those in pain, and becoming the voice that empowered the voices of those who were weak and afraid. Yet, there’s nothing that SM has done so far to show that they actually wish to celebrate his life. His legacy.

I believe that there’s only so much that the SHINee members can do or say that will keep Jonghyun alive in their music and in the years to come. But K-Media, in all aspects, is just about saving faces. If fans mourns too much, you need to get over it. If fans continuously pay tribute to him or in their own small ways try to keep his presence alive among us physically, you need to stop overdoing it and making everything about him.

Then what else are we supposed to do? How else are we supposed to keep Jonghyun’s memories alive when no one talks about him openly?

The ads on his birthday around Japan and Korea weren’t something SM did. It’s what Shawols did. SM didn’t even put a simple “Jjong Day” pic on Insta for his birthday. The least they could do is pay respect to and remember the person that they had the good fortune of being close to. Yet, they didn’t even do that. Every single tribute to Jonghyun or news related to Jonghyun was either from us fans, the members or his close friends.

SHINee asked us to keep Jonghyun alive in our hearts. But if his last concert - the one that he gave his best to complete and showed his fans a wonderful stage despite being utterly broken on the inside - has still not been released; then where are we supposed to celebrate his life? What about the Goblin Night episode where he guested which was never aired? Why can’t we see the show where he showed his smile and laughed and gave his best at the recording for one last time? What about that?

Yes, I look forward to the comeback. Yes, I will support the boys into the future as long as I am alive. And yes, I’m happy that the members are trying to live normally again. And I also know that the members will in their own ways pay tribute to Jjongie each day, every day in their own little ways. But during this comeback - when it marks 10 years of SHINee’s existence - if there are no traces of Jonghyun or no tributes to him or no mentions of Jonghyun in the media because of the K-Media or SM; I’ll be utterly devastated.

I WANT Jonghyun’s name in the fan chants. I WANT articles of him on media platforms. I WANT people to speak about Jonghyun just as much as they speak about any other member during the comeback and 10th anniversary because Jonghyun is a part of SHINee. Always has been, Forever will be.

SHINee is Five. They have been. They will forever be.

We’re celebrating 10 years of SHINee. 10 years of Onew. 10 years of Jonghyun. 10 years of Key. 10 years of Minho. 10 years of Taemin.

SHINee wouldn’t be SHINee if even one of them weren’t a part of it. And ll 5 of them deserve to be celebrated. Especially Jonghyun, because while the others will continue to make a legacy for themselves. The only ones who can keep Jonghyun’s legacy alive are Us, Shawols.

Now, we are his voice. We are his storytellers. We are what keeps his existence going. We are the ones who will keep his name shining.

So don’t tell us to keep quiet.

I am a MVP. I am a Blinger. I am a Locket. I am a Flamer. I am a Taemint. I am a Shawol.

And all Shawols have the right to talk about our boys. If you’re a true Shawol, then stop fighting each other. Yes, there’s no greater or lesser pain. Every single one of us is affected by Jonghyun’s passing. And if the deciding factor of being a MVP, or Blinger, or Locket, or Flamer, or Taemint is by bias for you guys; then I am not a Blinger. But if you put it that way, then Blingers will have lost their place of existence if people stop celebrating Jonghyun’s life and talking about him. So please do not hurt one another’s sentiments.

We used to be a peaceful and loving fandom. So peaceful and loving that Jonghyun never hesitated to get closer to us fans, let fans touch him or walk around the venue surrounded by them. We used to be loving. And now what has happened to us? Is this what we want to show to Jonghyun while he’s watching us from up there? Please don’t hurt the sentiments of those Shawols who are still mourning. It’s a sincere request.

This 10th anniversary let’s celebrate all 5 of the SHINee members lives with a loud voice.

I hope everyone out there can find peace and happiness. It’s okay if you’re in pain or you’re sad or you’re still mourning. Even I am. And it’s also fine if there are some of you who are moving on. It’s fine to feel whatever you are feeling. It’s okay. no one is going to judge you or blame you for it.

Regardless of whatever you are feeling or whoever you are, even though I may not personally know you, please know that I’ve got your back.

#personal rant #shawol #shinee #onew #jonghyun #key #minho #taemin #ot5 forever #shinee ot5 #SHINeeisFive #10 years with shinee #5hinee #shinee world #mvps #blingers #lockets #flamers #taemints

[mestos]

“I’m thankful to God, I see an angel and tears come to my eyes, Hallelujah”

--Jonghyun’s “Hallelujah”, my favourite song.

I want to send him off well, so I apologize in beforehand for this long post.

If you were one of my long-term followers, I assume you know of the time my url was locket-mesti, or locktae, right?

Yeah, there was that time. During early 2014, that was my url instead of what it currently is, mestos. It was a fusion of both the fandom names for a Key Stan and a Taemin stan - locket, and taemint respectively. When I first got into Shinee, I fell in love with Key, but the more I got into it I fell for Taemin as well. During that time I usually changed my url to what fandom I was in, and as I have been in actively in the shinee fandom, that was my url.

I first got into KPOP through SHINee. One of my close friends used to always be on her phone, and because we were allowed to listen to music in class, I always reprimanded her to do her work because I didn’t want to lose that privilege. Then she let me listen to some KPOP songs - introduced me to what I refer to as the “cursed” song because it was too catchy, T-ARA’s Bo Peep Bo Peep - such as SISTAR19′s Ma Boy, Wheesung’s UUU, Super Junior’s Sorry Sorry, etc. 

Then she let me listen to SHINee’s songs.

We watched a couple of their lives together, and I was pretty entranced with the way they danced. Lucifer was perhaps my favourite at the time because it was so catchy. After a time where I came over to her house I decided to look into SHINee, and I was absolutely in love with Jonghyun’s voice. I loved the way he carried those high notes so well, and his vocal range truly astounded me. Although he wasn’t my type at the time, he really stood out with the way he presented himself as a singer. It made him so memorable. 

During that time - even I cringe at the memory - I decided to dwelve into the fandom. I read lots of RPF, had my own share of OTPs, I was just so into Shawol hell. I listened to all their albums, watched all their variety show appearances, kept my favourites on repeat during my tough and hard moments. Eventually, it became a point where I just really loved all five of them equally, and I just say a name if I had to choose. Taemin’s solo got me sold on him, which is why I would say “Taemin” if I were asked to choose a bias, but even so, I loved all of them.

Then Jonghyun’s solo was announced!! I was so happy and proud because in my honest opinion, while Taemin’s was great, Jonghyun was the real singer. His ability to sing will always be at the top and no one will ever surpass his level out of the ones that I love now. I respect him as a musician because of his ability to compose and create songs with lots of feeling as well as showcase them in the greatest way possible. His looks weren’t bad either; after a while, I realized he was the most handsome in the band, with Minho coming second in my opinion. 

Then I listened to the album medley. I knew instantly that all of the tracks would be a massive hit. Hallelujah stood out to me the most, but literally every song was amazing. I highly encourage all of you to listen to it because it was the very first time I’ve ever loved every single song in an album. Not only the music, the music video’s aesthetic was so good - I remember being destroyed when his shirtless scenes came on haha - but in overall; I was just so proud of how far he came. I know I hadn’t been there in the fandom since he debuted, but I did my own backtracking and watched so many appearances and tv variety and interviews and concerts that they held over the years to keep up to date, and really; you’re able to really see how he grew.  

The album also holds some sentimental value to me. A friend of mine who had returned to South Korea had bought me the physical copy, and it was during a time where there was a bit of rift between my friendship circle, so I felt truly blessed when I was able to hold it in my hands. I was so happy, I made a scene in school - I’m embarrassed of it now - when I saw. When I was finally able to look at his photoshoots with my own eyes, in person, and listen to the full version of the bonus track he had for the physical-only copy, I realized that yeah, perhaps Jonghyun would be the man I’d stan after all.

So from that day, I became a bling bling stan. His stans have a funny name, but its catchy, and I’ll never forget it. I’ll always be a bling bling stan forever even if he is no longer here. 

Needless to say, my interest in SHINee gradually declined which I’m sadly guilty of. I returned back to them when they released their beautiful hit comeback “View”, and I loved “Odd Eye” so much. I’m actually listening to it as I type this. It’s definitely one of my most TOP FAVOURITE SONGS in all of the songs I’ve listened to. Watching their promotions, I just grew to love Jonghyun so much. I listened to his Blue Night Radio broadcasts from time to time and I truly admired his character and his overall niceness. I just loved him so much.

And because of that...I also knew he was going through a tough time.

I’m ashamed of...of forgetting.

During that time I was more conflicted because I was going through my own rough edges. I wasn’t able to get over Kris, Luhan and Tao leaving EXO, and I was generally unable to think of any other band than EXO. I became a full EXO-L at the time and arrogantly said “I actually don’t care about SHINee all that much anymore” at some point. Which was dumb, because I also at the time said “I wish I had just stayed in SHINee World so I don’t have to feel this pain”.

As my eventual KPOP frenzy toned down over the years, I still never stopped listening to KJH’s songs. I listened to them wherever I went, because they were always like an angel’s singing to my ears. Hallelujah most especially. I often listened to it as I walked home and tried to clear my thoughts or get them straight. The song got me through my rough times ; when I was at the lowest of the low ; and became one of my saving graces because of how beautiful it sounded. How Jonghyun’s voice sounded.

Just recently, I hadn’t really been into KPOP as much as before...then I hear the news.

It felt like my whole world just broke.

With no exaggeration, I didn’t feel anything at first. Literally. I skimmed through the internet, twitter especially, for anything that would claim this as fake. I literally could not believe that the man with the heavenly voice was gone. 

Then I moved from my chair, opened my light, and picked up the album that I stored away for safe keeping. My hands were shaking as I flicked through the images, took a picture, posted it on Instagram as a tribute, but at that moment I was still in numbing shock.

When I turned off the light, I fell to my knees and hugged the album tightly. My tears just poured out of me as if everything that had been weighing me down was finally being released. I cried for so long, on the floor amid a mess of a room I have, just holding his album tightly. Through the darkness I searched for his face in the posters of SHINee I hung up my wall, through the faintness of the light from the laptop screen, I just stared at his face, unable to face the truth.

I then decided to bite my tears down and found some strength. I put myself back on my chair and took out the CD from the album and opened it on my laptop. I hadn’t listened to Hallelujah in months - perhaps not even this entire year. When I clicked it and I heard his lines, 

“I’m thankful to God, I see an angel and tears come to my eyes, Hallelujah”

I really couldn’t stop myself. I weeped, I sobbed, I couldn’t do anything except cry as the album played. I really didn’t know what else I could do. 

After some time, I found some strength, in the darkness with nothing but the computer screen’s brightness as my light.

After that, it was a bit of a blur. I spoke to a friend, but I forced myself to draw something as I thought it would get my mind busy. Which is why this picture exists; I was projecting my feelings through Illium.

Eventually the official statement came by and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I shut everything off at around 4:30am, and in the dawn with the skies brightening up to signify a new day, I felt nothing but despair.

At night, I had no dreams. I usually have one, but this time, I had no dreams.

When I woke up in the afternoon I felt like I hadn’t slept. I felt nauseous, as per usual. I skimmed through twitter feed and there was nothing but tributes. My eyes were swollen, and my friend came over to stay the night, and the two of us just talked and talked about it.

The day was enjoyable because the two of us were able to comfort each other, but I often cried. Can I just admit I really hate crying? Because contrary to what people say, it doesn’t make me feel better. It makes me feel pathetic. It makes me feel stupid. It makes me feel like I could be using my time doing something else instead of feeling these stupid things spill from my eyes and ruin my face.

Since then, I’ve been empty. Illium and MapleStory have been helping me get my mind busy, but all I was doing was ignoring the problem, which I’m facing now.

One of the reasons why I was so affected by this one celebrity death is because I know how he feels.

My parents tell me I’m not depressed because I have no reason to be. I tell myself I’m not depressed because I have no reason to be.

But do you know how it feels, when nothing in your life is wrong, things are fine, but yet you can’t help but feel empty all the time?

Everything you see is grey. Everything you feel is grey. When you think you’re happy, you can’t tell if you really are or if you’re forcing yourself to be. You feel “fine”, but what is “fine”? You don’t know the definition of happiness. You’re always tired, you always constantly feel like anything you do doesn’t amount to anything. You can’t seem to remember what it feels like to be happy for a long time. Everything you do is sluggish.

But you’re trying.

I read his suicide note, and I understood.

I was never angry at Jonghyun. 

Not once.

Because I know how it feels to fight your way through the darkness. I know how it feels to constantly keep trying to find things to fill the void in your heart that for some reason keeps growing the more you find. I know how it feels to fight the demons within you. I know how it feels to feel like you aren’t living up to expectations. 

Which is why I just want to say, like what everyone else is saying, “You did well.”

You did so well Jonghyun-oppa.

You must’ve been so tired. So, so tired. I’m tired too, everyday, I open my eyes and wonder if today is going to be another grey day or if its going to be blue, because my life doesn’t feel like it has any other colour. Any day you think you’re happy doesn’t last long, any day you feel like it has other colours disappear back into grey. 

I’m so glad you can rest now. I’m so glad you can just lay back and finally, the demons within you won’t bother you anymore. This isn’t a battle lost. This is a battle won, just not in the best of ways, because you can lay back in the heavens like a hero.

You did so well. Your music will forever be my inspiration, your songs will always flow through my ears all the way into my soul.

You did so well. The smiles you put into my face, into everyone’s faces, will never be forgotten.

You did so well.

You did so, so well.

Although I can never ever see you in person, you’ve imprinted yourself into the net and the world in a way that you can never be forgotten.

I love you, Kim Jonghyun. Thank you for being the best Bling Bling is Jonghyun.

Thank you so much.

Rest in Peace.

#neesan texto #ugh i didnt want to cry while writing this but I did #im glad you were in my life #im so so glad

[ohmuqueen]

I was tagged by @shawoluvs ...2 weeks ago T_T  im so sorry for taking so long! (also you have my sister’s birthday! Happy early birthday!)

Name: Angela

Pronouns: she/her

Star sign: Taurus

Height: 5′1″ (155 cm)

Time: 9:47pm

Birthday: May 18 - The release date for Taemin’s “Advice”!!! This pleases me to no end as a babywol and Taemint ;_;

Nationality: American

Fave bands/groups: SHINee, 4minute, Brown Eyed Girls, f(x), Dreamcatcher, KARD, EXO, SuperM, Kalafina, NCT (mainly I love NCT 127′s music the most but I love all the subunits)...and honestly I listen to so many artists, moslty krnb/hiphop, and the only artists I listen to consistently lately (that I can recall quickly) are SHINee, Dreamcatcher, Hyuna, Utada, Jonghyun, Key, and NCT, otherwise I just mix it up a LOT bc Spotify is great for that (I only started using it January of 2020, I still love discovering new music on there almost every day)

Fave solo artist: Taemin, Utada Hikaru, Jonghyun, Key, Hyuna, Baekhyun, Son Ga-in,  Lee Hi, and krnb artists Nieah, K.vsh, twlv, Jhnovr, Epik High, Crush, Jane B, and J.cob (those are the ones I can remember quickly... I love a lot tho ^_^;)

Song stuck in your head: rn I’m listening to music (just finishing Nu’est’s Happily Ever After album as I type this) so nothing stuck in my head, but the last song I remember being stuck in my head earlier was Shinee’s “Colorful” ;_;

Last movie you watched: Captain Ron, a 90s movie from my childhood (and right before that Overboard, another childhood movie that makes me really happy)

Last show you binged: The last show I binged was He Is Psychometric - watched it in under 3 days if I recall. The last show I watched was Star Trek The Next Generation - I’m watching it for the first time and I just started season 3!

When you created your blog: 2011

Last thing you googled: shadow and bone books (no I haven’t read them)

Other blogs: My other blogs aren’t really active, but my sideblog for Utada Hikaru, @sangurasu, will always get updated whenever I get any speck of Utada news

Why I chose my url: it’s in reference to Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind by Hayao Miyazaki, the heroine is one of my favorite characters (the manga is epic and if you love fantasy and/or post apoc stories you would love it)

How many people are you following: 1073 - I have not gone on an unfollow spree for many many months...probably years lol - I don’t have time to go through my dash much either

How many followers do you have: 614

Average hours of sleep: 6, and a wonderful 8-9 hours on weekends

Lucky numbers: 14, 5

Instrument: none (I used to sing in choir as a teen, I miss it)

What I’m currently wearing: pajamas

Dream job: owner of a cat rescue (who somehow got back the ability to write and writes short stories on the side - not sure if I have novel length stuff in me)

Dream trip: Japan

Fave food: cake, ice cream, anything s’mores flavored

Fave song: Last time I I answered a similar ask meme and I just was like “I listen to so much, idk, here’s my fave Taemin and Utada song”, so I’ll try to mix it up this time. My last five liked songs in Spotify were: “Peter Pan” and “Piercing” by Ha:tfelt, “Whoo” by Jeong Eun Ji (thank you Discover Weekly), “In the Room” by twlv, and “Finding You” by Kwon Soon Il - from the soundtrack of Color Rush, a wonderful kdrama I watched a few months ago before Shinee’s comeback took over my life kekeke

Top 3 fictional universes you’d like to live in: Pacific Rim, Star Trek, aaaand… His Dark Materials (and I’m finally rereading that series right now! For the first time since I was 20 years old I believe T_T ...9 years ago....)

I will tag @jongtaeluv, @ihavesomanynotes, @actiaslunaris, @fractalwriter, @thepaththatleadsyouhome, @yoongloyal, @bluenightscloud, @aquaxalien, @kimsehni, @shin33ee, @explocionesenelcielo, @alwayshinee, @dontcallmeshinee, @jonghyuninorbit, @adorableshinee, @starlightnakamoto  only if you would like💜

#tag meme #personal #tumbwols #shawols #shinee #getting tagged by shawols makes my day i'm sorry i dont get to these quickly T_T