#he couldnt rizz up reader with his looks and wealth so he uses his paranormal powers

[teabutmakeitazure]

Best picture. Childe having his phone struck between his ear and his shoulder talking about bodies that was supposed to be burnt. Wearing a cute apron (something with "Best Hubby" or something like that written there is hilarious). And dealing with one boiling thing in the casserole, two flying pan and while watching the cake in the oven is not burning. All this while you tried to study in the sofa. And even with all this, he still find a paranormal way to tell you to not stand up to take the chips in the cupboard. Not good for your health and dinner will be ready soon enough. I'm sure this guy have eyes behind his head for that. Or prophetic power at this point.

He looks like a mother gossiping on the phone while doing so except that he isn't a mother (yet) and is in no way gossiping. Sometimes hearing his phone calls makes you wonder whether you are allowed to be hearing all that. Didn't he say you'd have to be assassinated if you learnt of sensitive information? Why are you still alive? Most importantly, what level of attention span does he have to be balancing a phone call about a serious issue like an improperly disposed body, two frying pans, something in the oven, and your every movement. You haven't even gotten up yet and he's already called out to you amidst his conversation, telling you to stay seated since dinner is almost ready. Sometimes he even throws an orange over his shoulder to land perfectly in your lap without looking. That occurrence alone makes you respect him and not get too antagonistic with him.

#childe: *throws an orange over his shoulder behind his back to land in your lap* eat healthy #reader: what level of sorcery is this?? #normal people have 5 senses while he has like 8 #he couldnt rizz up reader with his looks and wealth so he uses his paranormal powers #ask #anon #childe brainrot