#he loved yqy he stayed in the cang qiong sect for him even though he hated it there | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

disownedbytiime · 3 years

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Bing/Jiu thoughts (with added Bing/Qiu)

We know how it went when LBG came to the non-pidw world, and I believe that when he left he realized he was missing so much. One of the differences between Bing-ge and Bing-mei is that Bing-mei is more anxious and scared, the betrayal he felt was different than the betrayal Bing-ge felt, which is why Xin Mo was able to control him and not Bing-ge, but this anxiety comes from the love SQQ poured into him; he felt loved and then betrayed, while Bing-ge never felt truly loved. Sure, he had thousands of wives, but isn’t it obvious he’s just trying to fill a hole in his heart?

So what I’m saying, is that after Bing-ge saw what he could’ve had, he probably became more unstable and now he can only imagine how everything could’ve been if he had a nicer Shizun. Or what if he had brought that other SQQ to his side?? Would this hole in his heart be filled?

So! Leaving Bing-ge aside, let’s focus on SJ. Wouldn’t it be nice if he were to come back and reappear at Bing-mei’s world?? Just like BG came, why can’t he see this different world?

Bing-ge realizes he wants a Shizun of his own, and with whatever magic plant or blood or whatever he manages to bring SJ back (limbs attached and everything.) SJ is definitely surprised and scared, he doesn’t understand why he was brought back (possibly to get killed again, he thinks), he doesn’t trust Bing-ge at all, and why would he? But he’s weak from having been revived recently, so he can’t fight him, he can only be at his mercy. And Bing-ge is confused. He looks at him and sees all the damage they both gave each other, but he wants to try? If he can make his Shizun into a better one, like the one he missed, then maybe things could be good again. He doesn’t want to treat him better though, no, he wants to force his Shizun to treat him like the other one, but it’s not easy when SJ resists so much.

So, during this time where they’re both untrusting and confused, still hating each other, SJ arrives to the other world because Xin Mo opens a portal thanks to Bing-ge’s new instability. Also let’s say that because SJ is still weak he can’t come back quickly, he has to stay in that world for a while.

It’s such a shock for him, to see a world so similar to his own but, at the same time, completely alien. And it’s not just because the SQQ of this world is married to that horrid beast, which is an issue of his own. He can’t believe how different everything is. YQY is alive. “He” didn’t kill LQG. The peak lords are all alive and have a family-like relation. MF and NYY are healthy and are still his lovely disciples. “His” reputation is mostly intact, but he married LBH. Was that the variable? Them falling in love is what made this world completely dissimilar?

On the other hand, this world SQQ –SY– would be livid. He’d be scared at first, the original goods, the scum villain, came back. And sure, he understands him better than when he was only a reader, but still, he’s the man who tortured LBH to the point of transforming him into Bing-ge. So, once he understands what happened, oh how he’d chastise him! Why are you like this?! Why did you have to hurt him so bad?! SJ would chastise him back though. How could you fall in love with such a beast?

But Bing-mei? I don’t think he’d be able to hate him. He doesn’t know what exactly happened over there, he only knows that because his Shizun wasn’t around, the “he” from that other world became a playboy tyrant. This may be a different SQQ, but he’s still Shizun, he can’t treat him badly. SY would tell him not to trust him, but he can’t really explain how he knows so much. If Bing-mei ever finds out the truth –that this Shizun treated “him” so badly that made him become “that” and that that world’s LBH ended up assassinating him in the most horrible way– I don’t think he’d be able to hate SJ anyway. Instead, he’d hate Bing-ge even more. So what if SQQ hurt him? How could he do something like that to him? So, he’d make sure this other Shizun would be comfortable. He can’t change what happened over there, but he can show him that, in this world, he doesn’t hate him and would never hurt him.

Of course, SJ would be even more untrusting. The LBH from his world revived him and cured his wounds, and this one is cooking and caring for him. What is wrong with them?

But time passes, and he can’t help but start to feel comfortable. Even though he’s in the demon realm, he’s not in danger (other than from SY’s glares) and there’s a roof over his head and warm food on his table. He also has access to a library and music instruments, so he’s not bored either. Still he doesn’t understand, he thinks this just means he’ll fall worse later.

SY would hate it so much. He’s the one who disgraced LBH in pidw, how can Bing-Mei treat him so well? His food is meant to be only for him, why is he cooking for that other person too? He’s not jealous of course, but he simply can’t stand that he’s there. Why do they have to watch him? He knows he can’t just throw him away (he has his face and he can’t let him roam around, tarnishing his reputation), but why do they have to keep him there? He tries to leave him with SQH (he’s his ‘father’ after all, isn’t him?) but Bing-mei insists that it’s safer if he stays with them. SY can definitely see that SJ is having fun though.

But then, they decided to let him go to Cang Qiong mountain instead of SY. SY can rest and SJ can go see how his old sect is doing, and somehow SY decides that maybe having him around isn’t that bad, he can now spend more free time with his husband (not like he’d ever admit out loud.)

(Around this time Bing-mei decides to feed SJ his blood –he’s surprised Bing-ge didn’t do it already– but he lets the other man know it’s just so he can track where he is, he won’t do anything bad to him. SJ wasn’t even aware this was a thing until it’s too late, but since Bing-mei really doesn’t do anything bad, he simply accepts it.)

SJ goes together with SQH, who gets somehow blamed and roped into helping him in case someone gets suspicious. And they do, especially Qi-ge. They ask him why he’s there alone, did he fight with LBH? He’s never separated from him. And SJ, who still can’t accept that “he” is meant to be together with him, tells them off. (So they all think he definitely had a fight with him), but little by little they realize he’s… different. He seems like he forgot some things, he is wary around them, he kind of resembles his old self? But when they ask neither him nor SQH confirm it, so they can only wonder silently. SJ is somewhat happy that in this world he still has disciples like MF or NYY, but he can’t help but want to know what really happened. How did this world’s SQQ fell for LBH and viseversa.

(As an added, SQH is amazed to see the original villain. He didn’t know before about Bing/qiu meeting BG, so when he finds out, he’s overjoyed that his original sons exists anyway. He’s quite interested in hearing SJ’s story from his own mouth (to see if it’s the same as his own work) and I feel like SJ would be, at first, weirded out but later he’d like the attention and thus, a nice friendship between the two would start –much to SQQ’s chagrin–)

The first thing SJ does is finding ‘Resentment of Chunshan’ –which definitely do not help the case nor ease his worries– he knew LBH was a beast, but for him to act so shameless towards his own Shizun ??? He wants to kill him again and even feels bad for this world’s SQQ; until SQH explains that the author took some artistic liberties and that in real life things didn’t happen that way. Here either SQH tells him what happened or they go with Meng Mo for help (he’d be interested in why there are two SQQs so he’d help him in exchange for info, which he doesn’t get since SJ isn’t even sure why this happened.)

After finding out the whole truth SJ is sort of speechless. It seems like at the beginning everything was the same until suddenly SQQ started treating LBH better out of nowhere, and that simple action was what changed everything. Really? Only by showing some compassion it made the world so different? He realizes it was all SQQ. He doesn’t fail when helping LQG, he doesn’t go to sleep at the burdel, his relationship with YQY is pleasant. And so he realizes, he is the problem. And also the answer.

It truly shakes his world, but what can he do? He’s not SY, even if he tried, there’s no way he could’ve done the same, right? There’s simply no way he could fall for someone like LBH for starters, even if the beast had fallen for him first.

Still, he can’t help but want to see more into their relationship. SY still pushed Bing-mei into the endless abyss (just like he did), but it didn’t feel the same. Bing-mei still brought a lot of problems for SY, he preyed on him, he imprisoned him, but how come SY still died for LBH? What was his problem? Dying for an unfilial disciple. (It’s here where he sees the real power of the demonic blood). But the more he remembers what he saw in the dreamscape and compares it to the couple that live with him, he starts to understand. He doesn’t like it, he can’t feel like this world’s SQQ made a mistake, but seeing that his life wasn’t any better he realizes that maybe this is how things were supposed to be.

Then why does his world exist? Just to be proof that the worst could happen? Is his world simply a bad example? He decides that it’s no use to ponder about this. Even if things were meant to be like in this world, there’s no way he can change the past, nor does he wants to, he thinks. He can only accept his reality, enjoy this ephemeral opportunity he was given and maybe think how things could’ve been. If he has to be honest, this isn’t such a bad life.

Then at some point, months in maybe, when he’s already accepted his life there, Bing-ge finds a way to return to this world. Unknown to everybody, he freaked out when he saw with his own eyes how his Shizun was pulled into a different world. He spent months trying to find a way to get him back, only to find him in the same world he had visited some time before, the word that caused his instability, his need for a Shizun of his own and what brought him to get him back.

As soon as Bing-mei sees him he goes for the kill. Not only he played with SY last time, but he also hurt SJ so much. He can’t forgive him, so they fight again, and once again they are properly matched. SJ is in awe at their fight, and the fact they’re fighting over him, but once he sees how worried and terrified SY is when he sees Bing-ge attack Bing-mei, he finally understand completely. Whatever happened in the past it’s forgiven and forgotten, SY and Bing-mei are fated and in love, and he… he feels jealous. He’s not new to this feeling. He definitely understands it well, that’s what he originally felt towards Bing-ge. But where did that brought him? So he makes a choice.

He knows the match won’t stop until one dies or leaves, so he takes the decision to go back with Bing-ge. Both LBHs are surprised (while SY is silently overjoyed) by such choice. And this is kind of self indulgent, but before he leaves, I want SJ to kiss Bing-mei. He goes to say goodbye and just presses his lips over his. It’s so sudden that Bing-mei doesn’t have time to react, but SJ doesn’t want him to because he knows he’s not the one he wants. He just wanted to feel once how it was to be so close to the man who treated him so well. And then, he leaves. He and Bing-ge simply vanish.

After the initial shock, Bing-mei would be slightly sad. Was he not enough for SJ? How come he had to go back to the man who once killed him? Sure, he didn’t love him like he loves SY, but he cared for him, so it’s painful to have him leave. SY on the other hand is both grateful that the scum villain finally left, but also angry that he kissed his husband. It’s his husband, why did he have to do that? But once he sees Bing-mei sad, he can’t help but feel tender. He tells him that he doesn’t need to worry, even if Bing-ge is powerful, SJ is no longer weak and he probably can defend himself, I mean, is him right? Does LBH thinks so poor of this teacher? (SY knows SJ has no opportunity against Bing-ge but he can’t tell him that.) Bing-Mei feels better, but he feels even better when he finally realizes that SY had been jealous all this time. And so, he soon puts SJ in the back of his mind (but not totally forgotten!) to enjoy this new development of his husband.

Back to Bing/Jiu. When Bing-ge found out SJ was in that world he was surprised, but when he saw SJ kissing Bing-Mei he got mad, even if he accepted to go back with him, how come that other LBH got to have both Shizun for himself? Not only he’s sleeping with one, but he also stole SJ? He hadn’t even touched him yet, less alone kiss him. What right did he have? And he lets SJ know. He asks him if he enjoyed it? Screwing around with a taken man. Did that loser even learn already how to fuck? SJ is not having it though. Because of what he saw in the dreamscape he knows that Bing-ge had been there already, he saw him fool around with SY and knew the reason why he was brought back. So he fights back. Does you harem not satisfy you anymore? He was so jealous of the couple over there that had to bring him back and hope they could be the same. It’s obvious they won’t though, and this is something they both know well.

But what else is there then? SJ is already recovered and could try to fight his way out and leave; but he doesn’t. He demands Bing-ge to bring him dinner and goes to the place he was allowed to sleep. Of course Bing-ge can’t believe his audacity, but when he finds out that he’s got demonic blood inside him –and that SJ is well aware of its abilities– but still chooses to stay, he takes a step back. They’re unsure what to do, but maybe it wouldn’t be bad to cook for him once? He definitely can do it better than that loser over there. (Before this he hadn’t cook for him, he had some of the girls do it instead.)

And so, they continue a weird dynamic for several days: Bing-ge cooks for him and SJ doesn’t leave. Until one day when BG brings him dinner, and just before he leaves, SJ asks him to stay for a minute. And then, SJ he kisses him. He doesn’t know exactly why. He doesn’t like this Bing-ge, other than his physique and cooking abilities, there’s nothing good about him; but it’s a thought he’s had for a while, so he goes ahead. Bing-ge is as surprised as Bing-mei was back then, but that doesn’t stay like that for long because moments later he’s slamming him into the table, kissing him deeply and already fumbling with their clothes to get rid of them. SJ complains about his roughness and about the wasted food, but he doesn’t stop him.

And so, just like that their relationship becomes physical. Neither of them is in love, they don’t yearn or pin for the other, but it’s enough to fill the hole in their hearts for now.

And they both become bolder. Bing-ge conditions SJ that if he’s good and behaves, he’ll maybe be able to bring back some of the peak lords, but he has to stay with him or he’ll kill them again. SJ doesn’t mind if he does or doesn’t (though he does yearn a bit for YQY). Bing-ge also starts seeing his harem less and less, until he spends almost all his time with SJ. SJ complains that he’s too clingy and can’t have time alone, but he’s secretly overjoyed. He even goes and flaunts it in the harem’s faces. And though he wants them to leave them alone (he’s now okay with being with the beast, but having to share him with thousand of women is… not his thing), he also remembers how good NYY was over there, how LMY was a respected cultivator, how all these girls were not useless, so he pushes them into leaving and doing something for themselves. What a bunch of trophy wives! Over there the girls actually had a spine! They fought and had their own ambitions. You, though? You can only follow a beast. He definitely sees the irony in his words, but this is a life he decided for himself, so it’s okay.

And then it’s only them. Are they in love just like the Bing/qiu from that other world? Of course not, that’s impossible. Can everything be deleted and can they change? Most likely not, but they can pretend it’s forgiven and forgotten. And are they happy? Who knows. They feel their hearts filling those holes, but it’s most likely out of necessity and not actually something they wanted. But, so what? It’s enough for them. They finally have something to hold to, so they’ll take it.

(Btw! They definitely use the demonic blood when they have sex! Bing-ge is experienced and he’ll use all his knowledge and SJ won’t be able to reject him.)

Also, side note that would kind of make another huge post, but at some point they find a way to go back to that world and have a foursome with Bing/qiu. How? 🤷🏻‍♀️ who cares, it just happens.

#cn rambling/#extremely long but I couldn’t get this out of my mind #it’s like a fanfic idea but I won’t ever write it so #it’s kind of like an outline only

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