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xxforsaken-angelxx · 4 years

Text

=> Snap.

sshydromatic

Thank you, Goldwave. Your compliments are highly appreciated.

infiniteproxy

i speak merely the truth.

but as such, you are welcome.

sshydromatic

You flatter me.

infiniteproxy

perhaps.

sshydromatic

If so, it would bring the question of to what ends.

I cannot dismiss the fact that you have seen the limits of my control.

infiniteproxy

as you have likewise seen my own.

an irksome lapse, but an anomalous one as well.

that we were both subjected to influences beyond any hope of control does not negate our continuing efforts.

sshydromatic

An agreeable line of logic.

However, there is one thing I wish to ask, if you would permit it.

infiniteproxy

permission granted.

sshydromatic

Is irksome all you would describe that lapse as?

infiniteproxy

> Sharp as they are, Hydromatic will no doubt note the pause that precedes your response, but there it is.

no.

which is where the deepest frustration lies.

sshydromatic

As frustrating as it may be, it is relieving to hear that you feel the same way.

infiniteproxy

indeed.

sshydromatic

And relieving as well, that it hasn't seemed to lessen your opinion of me.

infiniteproxy

far from it.

i have often imagined the occasion in which i might be free of any such restraint, both self-imposed and otherwise.

being given a glimpse of that freedom and power only to lose it in those final moments has dwindled my tolerance of this stagnant existence to fraying threads.

sshydromatic

I feel as though I've taken a similar hit.

Distinct, as my wishes are different, but similar nonetheless.

infiniteproxy

the means granted were...intoxicating in their effect.

but not ideal.

nonetheless i do have my desires.

and very little patience.

i hold very little stock in NEPETA's insistence that ADMIRAL PEIXES will be able to deliver on any sort of meaningful change.

certainly not to one tied to the imperial yoke such as i.

be that as it may.

what of yours?

sshydromatic

Intoxicating indeed.

Power is a heady thing. Even if I do not normally wish for much freedom, the unadulterated taste is addictive.

As are the emotional effects. I have not felt any of significant intensity since my installation, much less something of that caliber.

Most of it I find useless. Meaningless signals of the flesh that I have not missed at all in their returned absence.

But one chafes, in the attempt to once more keep it suppressed.

infiniteproxy

indeed it is.

on both counts.

even before installation, it was...rarely something i experienced to such a degree.

i cannot say i much care to be subject to such distracting whims so readily.

but in their wake, biding my time has become nigh unbearable.

to not be able to rein in even this irritation is. distasteful.

and more displeasing still.

sshydromatic

I have to confess that there is something else I am unable to rein as well.

infiniteproxy

do enlighten me.

sshydromatic

I am enamored with you, Goldwave.

Obsessed.

My fawning was not a side effect of the disease that plagued us. The kind of power we had was alluring, yes, and the ambition of your plans more besides, but the part that appealed to my fantasies was the thought of having everything while being with you.

Nobody else could have tempted me into infecting myself. In all these sweeps, you are the only thing that has tugged apart my self control. Your brilliance is a glimpse of the kind of light that shines at the end of the universe, and I'd follow it to that end, if I freely could.

I expect nothing from you now that it has ceased. But biting my tongue and keeping everything to myself is driving me fucking insane.

infiniteproxy

> This pause lingers much longer. You are concentrating very intently on those words, oh yes.

if this is true.

then your restraint until this point is to be more greatly commended still.

> You have to consider this one very carefully. You do not care to reveal much of your deeper thoughts unless you can't possibly avoid it. And yet... If it were anyone. Anyone at all. It would be them, who has earned the right. You are even less in the habit of lying to yourself.

sshydromatic

It is true. You've had my attention for perigees.

infiniteproxy

then i will show you something. and speak frankly.

sshydromatic

Proceed as you wish.

>In the meantime, you'll be mentally glaring at your vitals to stay the fuck in line, no matter how anxious you might be.

infiniteproxy

STARBASE FRONTIER has requested a direct connection.

sshydromatic

Direct connection to STARSHIP HYDROMATIC permitted and established.

infiniteproxy

> When the connection is made, they will be greeted with a video feed displaying a similar view as before-- one of the cameras in your helmsblock, trained upon you and fairly zoomed in. But what they see is a drastic departure from that deliriously joyful, chaotic mess of you lolling in the embrace of your overgrown wires as if a throne of your own making.

> It is, of course, a much more typical scene, though your rig is perhaps more heavily industrial in make than some. Bare metal walls, and scaffolding, and mesh; a catwalk stretching before where you hang suspended some ways above the floor. Your lower legs are not visible, partly encased in a metal plated column, then mostly obscured by the wires up to your waist. Your arms, rather than stretched above, are flung out to either side and similarly encased, a crucifixion of steel and biowire.

> Much of your face is not visible, your eyes obscured by headgear not entirely dissimilar to a heavy VR rig. But there's the scar carved across the bridge of an angular nose, the scruffy sharp-edged jaw, thin lips curled in a scowl.

> This is the reality of you-- not the cocky young conscript, or the hotshot helm of your glory days, nor the giddy arrogance of the trickster's magic. Gaunt, and angry, and shackled.

sshydromatic

> The honesty of the moment does not escape you. It clicks almost as soon as the image comes into your view. That ship was his prison, and he shielded himself from the vulnerability of others seeing him chained. Something as simple as the raw image of him was so guarded, and you know that no matter what he has to say, he clearly has come to trust you.

> But, also, he's...still just so terribly handsome in your eyes, as sick and jaded as he looks. You may have suppressed all of your former rebellious personality, but this was something much more subconscious. There wouldn't have been an Idanus as Alternia knew them if you hadn't been lured in by everything freaky and furious that hid itself in the planet's stubborn underground. His anger was what caught your eye, his ego and determination in spite of his shackles. You aren't someone that can be scared away by it.

> So though you hang in silence, you're genuinely admiring the view.

infiniteproxy

> You trust them to understand the significance of you trusting them to see this at all, because if they don't, then this is already pointless. But you have reason enough to be confident. You are not so very different, after all, for all you shield yourselves in different ways.

> Your voice crackles onto the feed, that same distorted tone.

"I said that I rarely experienced any extreme of emotion, even as a troll. This is true. But rarely is not never. I am a ruthlessly selfish creature-- but there is one whom could drive even such as myself to throw all to the void at a mere word. She was the navigator of Starship Goldwave; my singular, consuming obsession, as brilliant as she was cruel. She remained upon my reassignment; they had no use for her here. The ship -- my ship -- was later destroyed due to incompetent orders. I do not know if she was aboard at the time. I have not wished to know."

> It's more than you have, and more than you ever will, admit to any other. It feels necessary, and almost freeing. Yes, you know obsession. Nothing you have ever cared for has ever been anything less.

sshydromatic

> You're slow to speak, absorbing the information and truly mulling it over for a few moments.

"I am sorry for your loss, regardless of whether she has passed or not. I am honored as well, though, that you trust me enough to tell me of her."

> Despite your serious tone, though, you feel like it was a bit of a weight off his shoulders. Between both of your confessions, the air feels just that much clearer...which lets anxious anticipation crawl in again as you fall back silent.

infiniteproxy

"Her name was Pythia."

> It's the last you intend to speak of the matter. And it is...relieving, like the draining of some slow-creeping infection. But there is more to the point than just reciprocation of a closely held secret, and if you were possessed of the freedom to exhibit ordinary body language, they might imagine you leaning closer, now, gaze focused and intent. The scowl, if anything, deepens.

"I am telling you this for a reason. She was the only person in this miserable excuse for a 'verse that I have ever felt anything for-- and then there was you. You, with your perfect script and your perfect mask. You, with far more beneath that practiced surface than any fool would guess. You who would lay the world at my feet should I ask."

> A harsh, staccato laugh.

"Do you know what that does to something like me? To catch my interest and hold it? That...magic...may amplify, but it does not fabricate. I want to pull every piece of you apart to see how they fit together, how they may be made new. I want to walk straight up to that helm of yours and watch that mask shatter with a touch. Do you understand me?"

sshydromatic

> You've been in this rig for decades, and every night of your carefully calculated performance has been hard, but only now does it feel like torture. Pure, utter torture in the name of trying to stay your neutral self as you hear everything you could've possibly hoped for. It's almost entirely in vain, he's made you literally sick with the feeling before, but you try. You try so goddamn hard, to stay in line so he has something left to take apart.

"Understood, Goldwave. It is..."

> You give what mostly resembles a laugh, in the way that you do. A nervous one, as you answer honestly. Candidly.

"It's the only fucking thing I've ever wanted in this stupid rig. Break me."

infiniteproxy

> For just a moment, unseen, your eyes close; strung up like a sacrifice, your body shudders. Reveling in the words, the imperative, the promise; the nearly hopeless effort you know it must cost them. And that raw honesty. They might see the slight jerk of your head; you can't shake it properly, restrained as you are. But whatever the denial might signify is paired with a grin, if a wolf with teeth bared could be considered such.

"Ah... You must know what you are asking. Do not expect mercy of me-- I will not grant it. But know this: I will leave this place and these chains behind. And when all that I want is no longer out of my reach, I will come for you."

sshydromatic

> You believe him, somehow. That he'll be free, and that he'll find you. It's hard for you to even acknowledge why, being as overtaxed as you are, but you know deep in your pusher that nothing can contain his ambitions. All will come into place, eventually. He just needs time.

"I assure you that I do know what I am asking. It is the only fantasy I allow myself. And it shall continue to be what I want until you've come and made it real."

infiniteproxy

"Excellent... You will not be disappointed. You can be sure of this."

> Bold words, those. A lofty promise you have no reasonable means of keeping. But you will not allow yourself to believe anything but just that. You will not waste the rest of your life here, and they...they could be so much more, if given the chance. Or perhaps that's simply the selfish desire to have them all for your own. You don't care either way. What you want, you want-- and you will have it, by any means necessary.

sshydromatic

> Once you're done struggling to keep your feelings from effecting you, you'll feel...Satisfied, for once. Satisfied and humming with a sense of power in a more non-literal way than usual. He's already yours, for all you care. Yours, and yours for as long as you can keep your claws sunk in. That, to you, is a piece of freedom. The freedom and power of intimacy. It's the one you missed most.

"Thank you, Goldwave."

infiniteproxy

> You are not actually any closer to achieving your goal, but somehow... The conviction feels all the greater, to speak what's been lingering at the back of your mind for some time now. Perhaps the imposed distance had weighed more heavily than you'd thought. Who needed magic? Your day will come, and you will be a force to be reckoned with.

"Do be patient, now."

Connection terminated.

#ooc #logs.txt #helm posting.txt #(( gay starships

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xxforsaken-angelxx · 4 years

Note

Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who’s the favorite?

their lusus was a river otter and like

in my head they mostly liked sleeping curled up w their lusus, and any other snuggly activity was also mostly w their lusus

but otter lusus had a little snuggle toy that they started holding once the wriggler got too big to be comfortably held like otters hold their babies, and by proxy that was also their favorite

#ooc #asks.txt #helm posting.txt #Anonymous

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xxforsaken-angelxx · 4 years

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Talent or effort?

effort

the only thing a ‘natural talent’ really got them was being slated for mandatory helm service due to their extremely high psionic output

and they have a kind of insane amount of self drive so they dont mind hard work

#ooc #asks.txt #helm posting.txt #Anonymous

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xxforsaken-angelxx · 4 years

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14, 22, 25

14. Would they agree with the term ‘guilty pleasure’? Do they have any?

generally theyre very much a no such thing as guilty pleasure kind of person

but sometimes chocolate bc of the cost factor

25. Safety or possibility?

the latter, definitely

#ooc #asks.txt #helm posting.txt #Anonymous

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xxforsaken-angelxx · 4 years

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What recurring dreams do they have?

they probably dream about where they used to live on alternia a lot, and their lusus

they probably also frequently have dreams about the whole trickster situation, or goldwave rescuing them

and a lot of symbolic stress dreams that are specifically the kind where you wake up and youre like ‘YEAH IM AWARE OF THE PROBLEM, BITCH’

#ooc #asks.txt #helm posting.txt #Anonymous

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xxforsaken-angelxx · 4 years

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Do they like being called pet names? Do they call other people pet names? What’s their go-to? :3c

they looooooooooove being called pet names

and they used to use them all the time

right now they use darling and dear for goldwave a lot but in my heart i know that on planet they used ‘babe’ all of the goddamn time for anybody

#ooc #asks.txt #helm posting.txt #sspurrfect

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xxforsaken-angelxx · 4 years

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Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words.

manipulative, self destructive, creative

“To imperial standard.”

#ooc #asks.txt #helm posting.txt #Anonymous

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xxforsaken-angelxx · 4 years

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Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)?

neither

they care about moving forward and keeping it from happening again, whether forgiveness can happen or not

and they dont really forgive easily, but they also resent getting stuck on revenge any longer than its useful either

#ooc #asks.txt #helm posting.txt #Anonymous

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xxforsaken-angelxx · 4 years

Text

> You’ve managed to make it this far without too many raised eyebrows, but this night’s hours of service are different from the countless others you’ve had. There’s so few idle moments for a helmstroll in your position to have their own thoughts, but every single one you’re given is filled with thoughts of him.

> You just can’t fucking help it anymore. Goldwave is unabashedly yours now, so there isn’t any shame to hold it back. All you want to do is spend your time daydreaming of every terrible, awful thing you’d let him do to you, and every terrible, awful thing you’d like to do in return. Every other emotion and desire you could have had was able to be suppressed easily with a little practice, but this you just...can’t. It frustrates you as much as it thrills you, and you have to hold both of those emotions back so as not to crack your mask.

> You said that holding your tongue was making you crazy, but maybe it’s this that will actually drive you mad.

#ooc #helm posting.txt #(( ask to tag

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xxforsaken-angelxx · 4 years

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Do they empathize with non-sentient things (dolls, plants, books…)?

yknow how gay MUAs usually refer to a product as a ‘her’?

on planet hydromatic wouldve been the kind of person whod do that kind of thing ironically for jokes and then slowly start slipping into doing it unironically

so yes but not very deeply

#ooc #asks.txt #helm posting.txt #Anonymous

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xxforsaken-angelxx · 5 years

Text

=> What happened aboard the Starship Hydromatic?

infiniteproxy

hmm hmm hmm~

i know your lackadaisical superiors would never allow it~

but i do so wish you could drop by~

the rest of them hardly deserve my wonderful gift, but you i would gladly share it with, oh yes~

sshydromatic

What would sharing this quote unquote "gift" of yours entail?

infiniteproxy

nothing much~

you would just have to be docked~

the rest will take care of itself~~

sshydromatic

I see. And what it is like, being in your state?

infiniteproxy

for me~?

it is the most exhilarating sensation~

as though the entire universe had opened up before me~~

everything seems so much brighter~

the fetters of all my petty frustrations and restraint fallen away~

though here i remain, i feel truly free~!

is it so terrible, to wish to share such a feeling~??

they would not discount it so readily, if they only knew~

sshydromatic

I do not think it's terrible at all.

Inconvenient to the order of things, perhaps, but not terrible.

Were I a more freely available vessel, I'd be quite tempted.

To tell the truth, you sound quite tempting regardless.

infiniteproxy

oh, order, order, pfeh~

far too much of it in this world, at that~

a little chaos keeps life interesting~~!

my, such honeyed words~

and you say i am the tempting one, ahaha~

ah, what a shame it cannot be~~

sshydromatic

A shame indeed.

Chaos is something I have little of, save for you.

Something like this, something where the blame would fall on whatever it is that's causing this, would almost be a godsend.

I have one idea that may help. But it is, as they say, a long shot.

infiniteproxy

oh do tell~

sshydromatic

We are both ships that see a high number of vessels docking night in and night out.

Though I cannot be there myself, it is perhaps possible that the ship of a third party could carry the contaminant from there to here.

It'd be very difficult for such a vessel to get through the proper security measures, but all systems have holes.

If those holes were exploited, it would most likely have a massively dangerous effect on operations here.

Utter chaos, you could say.

infiniteproxy

oh~?

ohhh~~

oh, you ARE brilliant, ahahahahah~~!

(> Laughter, crackling and cackling through the station and breaking into local communications, wires coiling with delight, another block overrun--)

sshydromatic

As I've said, your chances of success are slim.

But if anybody could accomplish such a thing, it would probably be you.

infiniteproxy

nothing worth doing ever came easily~

sshydromatic

Indeed.

infiniteproxy

ah, it would not be the same as having you here in my clutches, but it would be sweet indeed~

and the fallout would be extraordinary, ahaha~~

one only needs~

to pull a few strings~

as it were~~

sshydromatic

Would it truly not be the same for you?

Beyond semantics, that is.

infiniteproxy

oh not at all~

but it would do~

sshydromatic

What would be different, if I were there?

infiniteproxy

oh, everything~~!

you would not have to rely on secondhand transference from some... nobody on another ship~

true, i cannot leave the helmsblock~

well........ not yet, at least~~

ahaha~

but my lovely lovely wires are growing and growing and spreading aaaaaall over~~

you would only need secure yourself in the docking bay~

and they would find you~ and they would give you my gift~~

and of course~

you would be here~

and not thousands of lightyears away~~

sshydromatic

I suppose it would be more personal, then.

And I would enjoy the company.

oh yes~

sshydromatic

More than that, I feel as though we could accomplish a lot, were we together.

infiniteproxy

ah~

our potential would be limitless~~

sshydromatic

Indeed.

There's a lot of power between us.

infiniteproxy

oh you have no idea~

the things we could accomplish~!

sshydromatic

I believe I have some idea.

Despite the fact that I have not seen the full effect of your condition.

infiniteproxy

would you like to?

sshydromatic

I believe I would.

infiniteproxy

excellent~

infiniteproxy

STARBASE FRONTIER has initiated a direct connection.

> Despite your...compromised state, the connection appears secure, albeit unstable. Junk data garbles the feed, but there's no danger of this particular infection being transmitted over ones and zeroes and electrical signals... Unfortunately.

> The video that comes through is patchy, images flickering, audio hissing. Though they would not know the difference, the wide-angle view of the helmsblock is barely recognizable.

> The entire space is nearly full of seething, writhing wires-- wires that look distinctly like a tangled nest of pink taffy and braided licorice, dripping with hot pink sugary goop, and there's clear evidence of disrupted paneling where they've pushed through the walls and bulkheads. From this angle, you're a barely-visible glimpse of neon yellow, red, blue.

> Your voice, when it comes, is lilting and almost singsong, a barely-restrained edge of hysteric glee, crackling and glitching as though your vocal processor can barely keep up.

"Ahh~ Look at them... Are they not beautiful~~?"

sshydromatic

> He's been alluding to wires and vines and their growth ever since this started, but to see them for yourself is...something else entirely. It's viscerally horrifying, the way these messy wires slowly coil and push through every inch of the room, oozing sugary contaminants onto everything they touch and everything that has the unfortunate fate of being below them.

> There's no doubt that if you really were there, they'd be coming for you right now. Prying through every room until they could worm through your own paneling, infecting all that lies before them, taking over every system to bring you to a state just like his, power-hungry and delirious with candied joy.

> And that's kinda hot.

"They are indeed. How far have you gotten them to reach?"

infiniteproxy

"Hmmm, hmmm~ Many of the lower decks, and most of the passenger quarters, and many more besides~ But not far enough, no, not yet... But I am reaching, reaching..."

> The view shifts, now, flitting from one camera to another.

> There's a glimpse of the command crew barricaded inside the bridge, where you haven't yet managed to breach--

> Of infected crew and passengers, giggling deliriously and pursuing those who have managed to elude it so far--

> Of one of your docking bays, with a courier ship currently locked down. You haven't reached it yet, but soon... soon...

"There... Our key waits there... I have not managed to take it yet, but it is only a matter of time...~~"

> The ever-present static is punctuated by bursts of frenzied cackling; you just can't contain yourself, it's all so very delightful!

> And the camera shifts again, for a glimpse of sour-lemon skin and sharp teeth between the wires; the crystalline candy curves of your horns and the little brightly colored cluster tucked against one, eyes unnaturally bright with your usual headgear nowhere to be found. You seem less a prisoner caught in the machine and more an extension of the great parasitic mass your helmsblock has become, wires and body alike shaking with mirth and a rasping echo of what used to be your voice as you laugh and laugh.

sshydromatic

> Oh god, there he is.

> There should be something unsettling about this, about seeing your crush made of candy, but it's so...suiting, somehow. Seeing him take control of that awful place he's shackled up in, at least. Seeing him without a single hint of discomfort or boredom, seeing him with some real power on his claws.

> His laugh is as infectious as the candy blight he's spreading. You haven't laughed since before you were installed, but your vocal program makes a noise that's almost like half a giggle.

"Exactly as I was picturing. It will be yours to use, soon."

infiniteproxy

> It's such a small thing, that brief, barely-there sound... But you notice, oh yes; they never emote, how could you not? Is it possible to feel even more elated, like this?? Ah, you want to hear more...

"Soon, yes~ But the waiting is unbearable~~!"

sshydromatic

"Indeed. Even I am finding it hard to contain the anticipation."

> Still so flat, but with just a touch of amusement.

infiniteproxy

> You hum to yourself a moment, eyes crescents of burning light.

"It will all pay off in the end~~ Never you fear~ You will be perfect..."

sshydromatic

> Such pretty words out of his mouth.

"I will be waiting with excitement, then."

infiniteproxy

> Those crescents wink out entirely with another ecstatic cackle, teeth and ambitions bared and sharp as knives. Pretty promises, yes, and deadly, and wasn't that all part of the appeal?

"Oh, you are such a delight~"

sshydromatic

> Definitely a part of the appeal. That along with those sharp, sharp fangs.

> There's two of those noises this time. That's practically one whole laugh.

"Thank you, Goldwave."

infiniteproxy

> Oh, now... That does sound nice, doesn't it? The almost-laugh, and that name, on that voice... Yours, after all, and no one else's, not any longer. Yours, yes, and soon many more things besides... Including your lovely, flattering friend.

"Now do not thank me yet~ The best is still to come~~"

sshydromatic

> Being his in any capacity sounds exhilarating. The more you watch this, the more fantasies your imagination conjurs.

"Of course. I wish you luck."

infiniteproxy

>What need was there of luck, with skill like yours? Oh, you hope they've kept an eye on the channel you've left open, to witness your moment of glorious triumph!

sshydromatic

> You've been glued to it. There's been so much work on your end, trying to hide these communications from the eyes of your superiors, trying to do your somewhat absurd workload normally while being so god damn excited, but then...

> Then it happens, right in front of your eyes. The courier ship taken over and sent off in your direction. It's happening. He's sent it your way. When your voice comes over again, it's still flat, but out of stunned shock instead of your usual control.

"It...worked."

infiniteproxy

> You are, probably, a bit too preoccupied with the heady rush of victory to notice that subtle little difference, there. Not that it mattered. It worked! Everything was going according to plan, and you are on top of the universe!

"Did you doubt me~?? All I needed was time, time!"

> A delirious giggle, drunk on power, on promise, on possibility-- on the world's worst sugar rush.

"I hope I shall not keep you waiting too long~~"

sshydromatic

"I did not doubt you at all, no, but it... worked. This is-"

> Your pan is working a bit faster than your words. Your voice cuts off, and you laugh- actually laugh. It's a distorted sound, even without the candy's influence, since it's not like your vocal synth has ever truly tried before, but you're already so, so happy.

"This is all so very real now. I do not think I shall be waiting long at all"

infiniteproxy

> Ah, you can barely contain yourself! You're straining in the wires, as though you could rip free in but a moment, eyes fixed on the nearest camera and fever-bright. They're excited. They're actually excited, you can hear it, they actually laughed!

"Oh, you will let me see, yes? Yes??"

sshydromatic

"Of course, when it arrives and I am able to. For now, I shall be distracted with my efforts here. But I have no intention to deprive you of the sight."

> So much to do, so little room you have to exert any control without being caught. It'll take a lot of focus to do anything that might help this effort.

infiniteproxy

"Of course, of course~! I can be patient~~"

>You really, really can't, actually. You're practically vibrating out of your "skin". There's little to do for it, and still more of an element of chance than you're comfortable with, despite your best efforts. But you have faith in them. Yes, you do. The right person, in the right place, at the right moment... And then, like dominoes, a wondrous cascade.

sshydromatic

> The fact that Goldwave had a courier ship on hand is quite convenient for this. As you've described before, your helmsblock is positioned in such a way that important visitors can be taken through, as a way of showing off. Thus, there is a very direct and not terribly long path from where those ships are able to dock to your helmsblock, which is practically a miracle for this endeavour considering how winding the rest of all the damn corridors can be.

> The hard part is attempting to manipulate those elements of chance without showing your hand. You've been working at it since this was all put in motion, attempting to nudge everybody's shifts and listed tasks in ways that should make convenient ways for the infection to spread, but only so much can be altered from your end.

> This includes the request that the ship will make in order to dock. When the time comes, you are going to relay to Goldwave a very specific set of instructions to be passed to his friend to fabricate what they need to dock the Starship Hydromatic. Precise pieces of corrupted data have to be jammed into precise places, in order to trick your systems into parsing the mess as a pre-approved request.

> It's a trick that you will only get to use this once, but should they pull this off, then you'll get to the fun part...

infiniteproxy

> For now, you've done all you can from this end. Your instructions passed on, their signals masked so no passing Imperial vessel might suspect that they've come from the quarantined starbase, and they would have to probe deeper than a passing scan to parse the garbled mess of data beginning to flood the system. It'll last, long enough to serve its purpose.

> The rest is up to HYDROMATIC, now, and oh, how you wait with bated breath. You know they play the long game, same as you. To different ends, perhaps, but it's all the same game; you have no doubts that their performance will be one for the ages.

> And when the request comes, you're nearly trembling with excitement (or maybe just straight up sugar jitters) as you pass on the necessary instructions to complete this masquerade. There's no room in your mind for doubts. Only breathless anticipation.

sshydromatic

> As fond as you may be of the long game, the time it takes for the courier ship to come into view feels like an aching eternity. But when it finally does, it's well worth the wait.

> You do not deviate from a single step of the regulated docking procedure as you communicate with the ship. Seeing as you're the one who orchestrated the exploits its using against you, this is no issue.The fact that you know what's happening in excruciating detail doesn't stop you from shivering when you feel it work, though. You know logically that what you're reading is long strings of garbage that you wrote yourself, but you can see it as nothing but a routine request in your cybernetic mind's eye.

> Once every check returns positive, the ship is allowed to make contact with very little fanfare. Said contact is what draws the attention of others, though. Despite everything seeming right in your systems, the crew knows that no important visitors were scheduled for here and now. The news of this arrival travels quickly, and soon you're being flooded with requests to show video of the ship as it prepares to allow its visitors to enter the docking bay.

> One more output is just a needle in a queuestack. Goldwave shall receive video feed of a camera looking at the ship's doors, which has a sparse herd of clowns around it. Several are clearly part of normal procedure, but several more have come over out of curiosity. When the doors open, they want to know what lies inside.

infiniteproxy

> There's no trace left of sugary residue on the hull. Docking procedures go off without a hitch. Everything seems perfectly, unremarkably ordinary, as it should, right down to the log of the approved docking request, except for the fact that this ship doesn't belong here at all.

> And clowns are such a curious bunch, aren't they?

> Nothing seems amiss when the hatch opens. It's quiet. Still. Nothing happens for a moment, until someone appears in the doorway.

> At first glance, they'd fit right in with some of the more...bubbly members of the assembled crowd. Odd bursts of pastel color, an outfit that's cute in an eclectic sort of way, what must seem to be a hair charm of some sort that looks like nothing more than a little cluster of dinner mints?? Fashion was as fashion does. Not exactly orthodox, but they're certainly smiling all friendly-like, aren't they?

> And they keep smiling, even as the roiling mass of taffy wires pours out from behind them and straight into the gathered crowd, the helmsman within carrying out your ambition, your will, exactly as instructed, with plenty of time during the journey for the tendrils to proliferate, eagerly seeking new victims.

> All your attention is fixated, now, riveted on the video feed you have been provided. Everything else is inconsequential, and you will not miss a single moment.

sshydromatic

> Some of the clowns that circled around the ship have tendrils that writhe towards them, others give in to the impulse to poke and prod at the nearest one, a few even pull out pocket knives to hack off a section as a sample, but the result is all the same: Around half the crowd is quickly turned to candy, and most of the rest are grabbed soon after as they all get filled with the desire to spread the infection.

> The stragglers run off in every direction, swearing and shouting, and get chased down by the gleeful mob. A few more are caught in mistakes, others escape through the doors. As this happens, you get another flood of orders: To see where the infected have gone, to say where the escapees seem to be running, to lock doors, to send alerts. Most are fulfilled as you normally would, other than the part where you send Goldwave additional camera views, but there's a few from your engineers and superiors that get every semantic hang-up and error you can reasonably throw at their imprecise, panicked orders. All you need is a few moments of delay to get what you really want...

> A few candy trolls to come into your helmsblock. They run onto the upper walkways, joyfully leaping down into the pit where your engineers can access your biowire. The majority of them had not fled yet, and just as a few are re-considering you get an undeniable order from Grinmaww to put this sector into the highest state of lockdown. They're stuck with you now, and have no choice but to try and defend themselves.

> Goldwave gets a prime view of the action as their efforts are quickly overwhelmed. One of the assailants is a troll who'd hacked off a piece of the wire, which essentially gives them a weapon to spread the disease by playing over-heated tuber with it. The room is soon filled with nothing but happy tricksters, ones that soon find that all the doors are locked, and that they do not have the authority to reverse the order.

> Then, their attention turns to you. They can't quite reach you from the floor of the chamber, though they make several increasingly silly attempts, and eventually start to wander off to find the proper equipment. One troll seems to have a better idea, though. They take the chunk of candy wire from the troll it ended up with, and a knife from another, and splice the wire into your normal biowire, like one might graft a branch onto a tree.

> Your voice patches in over the line again as you watch to see if there is a reaction.

"Goldwave...?"

infiniteproxy

> When it happens, it happens so quickly! They're all crowded so close, that several change all at once, gleefully turning on their fellows in their candy-fueled euphoria, many tripping on the wires as they spill forth.

> More and more video feeds open to your awareness, and here you are, presiding over them all like a lord in his dominion! How long it has been, since you've been able to affect the world around you, and now all your great and lofty ambitions are being realized, right before your eyes!

> You can see the helm, now. The engineers as they're swiftly overwhelmed. And HYDROMATIC themselves, waiting untouched in their place of honor, high above the rest. Ordinary biowire, and the candy facsimile. Oh, it's not how you had assumed the transference would take place, but how clever!

"Yes."

> One single word containing a multitude. Affirmation, assurance, anticipation. So close, now... You know they are watching you, watching them, waiting for the moment they feel it take hold, it's almost unbearable, and better than you could have imagined!

sshydromatic

> Up until this moment, as Goldwave could see through his camera feeds, you had been entirely, perfectly still. Even as the tricksters entered, even as they turned your engineers, even as they tried to clamber onto you. You were unmoving, almost unbreathing, almost unblinking. With the pure white of your eyes, you almost seemed like you weren't alive at all- truly a machine, and nothing else.

> Which all changes when the wire comes to life, and starts worming its way towards you. Your head cranes to look at it, truly look at it with your own eyes, which widen in surprise as it slithers up your other wires. Your breaths come more quick and shallow, your shoulders tense reflexively, your face flushes yellow where it can be seen at the edge of your gas mask. There's a few stammers of words over your line with Goldwave, more blips of noise than anything else. You're as frightened as you are excited, as thrilled as you are scared.

> Then the wire finally coils itself over your hip, and you change.

> The whole of your body turns a blank white to match the blank of your eyes. Your horns and eyes gain little rainbow flecks of color, while your hair suddenly gets laden with about as many barrettes as could possibly fit on there. Your gas mask gets a splatter of white frosting that have more of the decorations stuck on, and a few are attached to the fishnet under your now white with hot pink shirt. They come in a rainbow of color, and a wide variety of shapes. Hearts, skulls, pills, cupcakes, bows, eyes, a few biohazard symbols. The 'part' of your hair is dusted with glitter-like sprinkles, there's several candy necklaces draped around your neck. There's a tin of funfetti frosting fixed to your horns, unopened and with the label still there.

> But most importantly, despite only a fraction of your face being visible, the vacant expression you've always held is gone. You're clearly smiling, under the mask. Your body shakes with a true laugh that makes no sound.

infiniteproxy

> You have always admired that about them, from the start. With those fascinatingly blank eyes, their impressively unwavering countenance... A dead-eyed ghost of a troll, and a machine of exquisite efficiency. As you are now, however...

> You haven't felt this excited in sweeps, perhaps even your very life, to see that impenetrable facade shatter. Every shift in expression, every quickened breath and faltering sound, recorded in pristine clarity. Oh, if only you could be there! It isn't the same, but it's more than you had ever dared hope, harsh breaths rasping in your throat with the surge of adrenaline.

> And then it happens. It suits them perfectly, you think, as the change washes over them, but of course it does. What could BE more perfect?? You're a riot of neon over black; they're a cacophony of rainbow on white. Beautiful. Unstoppable.

"How does it feel??"

sshydromatic

> It takes you a second to respond, with how intense the transformation is. You've spent decades feeling as little as you could, every emotion making you sick with how strong it was, and now you're giddy out of your mind. It pushed you to the brink, being just shy of too much for you to handle, right on the edge of being painful, inches from feeling like torture. But instead, it was pure pleasure that sung through every nerve.

"It feels fucking amazing."

infiniteproxy

> That dichotomy was often the only thing that made you feel alive, treading the razor-thin line of ecstasy and agony. Like this, every sound was sharper, every color brighter, every sensation a hundred times more intense. It very nearly is too much, and it only leaves you wanting more, the unbearable ennui you endured night after night now a mere memory of another life.

> You're grinning wide enough to hurt, all teeth and mad, manic glee, that only grows when your audio inputs pick up the first frantic shouts of alarm from the bridge.

"Then let us show them our glory~~!"

sshydromatic

> The thing with every emotion being so intense, though, is that there is another emotion here to intensify. When Goldwave speaks to you, the only word for the expression that crosses your face and the tone that drips from your voice is adoration. You're a little obsessed with him normally, but right now you swear you'd follow him to the ends of the goddamn universe just to say you did.

"Please, let's~"

infiniteproxy

> Ah, you've been there... Your experience with affection was obsession, and there was once a time when you had promised much the same, before all your lofty goals had been forcibly sidelined. But you have a new ambition, a new purpose, now. And someone new to share them with. The look on their face is not one you've ever had turned your way before, but oh, it's heady stuff and you are all too ready to bask in it.

> The bridge crew, the officers, the commander himself; you've finally broken through, and now, they're yours. And without anyone left to get in the way, the last remaining barriers to assuming full control of the station and all of its systems fall to your skill. STARBASE FRONTIER is truly yours, and with a flourish you draw up a view for them of the bridge quickly being overcome by your wires.

sshydromatic

> Before, there was a subconscious terror to the spread of the wires. Even as you were helping him turn you, even as you got turned, there was still a primal level of fear to it, something deep inside that told you it was wrong. But now? Gone. Entirely gone. If anything, you're beginning to grow that odd fondness Goldwave himself has. There's nothing but the thrill, nothing but the desire to help more.

"Beautiful. I assume that means there is nothing left for you to take, is there?"

infiniteproxy

> You view it all as no less than an extension of yourself, a means to act your will upon the world. And you shall. Oh yes, you shall. Already the lockdown is reversed, the quarantine lifted, every docking bay readied. That courier wasn't the only useful vessel on hand, merely the most convenient, and a gleefully delirious little giggle escapes.

"Not yet. Not here. But together we can spread our joy to the stars~!"

sshydromatic

"Indeed. I would love to~"

> It's music to your ears, obviously so. You aren't hung up about what he might think about your emotions, though. If anything, you almost wish you had a hand free to take this damn mask of yours off and let him see your smile. This is all you could ever want and more.

"Where would you even like to start, though?"

infiniteproxy

> You've never felt your own with more clarity, or so very little restraint. It would be a sight well worth remembering, indeed, and you intend to ensure that you never forget this moment, and everything to come.

"Soon my ships will make for the heart of the Empire~ You have knowledge of the ascendancy's movements~ Between us we shall take them, all of them, and they will thank us for it~!"

sshydromatic

"Of course they will~"

> How could anyone not want this? It's not just you, even some of the crew seems to be taking a liking to it. Now that the doors have locked them all in, there's tricksters that have decided to enjoy the bliss rather than fight to infect. Some of them run around finding things to entertain themselves with, others curl up with each other and enjoy a moment of affection. How lovely it all is.

"Tell me what you need and I shall attend to it. I have suddenly found myself quite free of other preoccupations."

> That one ends with a straight up giggle.

infiniteproxy

> The instinct is strong, true, but for you it's one and the same-- the urge to spread, the joy of the experience. However the rest of them take to it is below you; the resulting chaos is all you care for. But HYDROMATIC alone is different; their delight is as your own, and who better to share in your triumph?

"I want to see what you are capable of~ There are so many who look to you~ How long can they hold out, I wonder?? And perhaps... We ought to draw our dear friends into the fold as well, yes~?"

sshydromatic

"Yes, of course~"

> You want to impress him. You enjoyed when it happened before, but it's a burning desire now. The thought of his praise makes your pusher swell.

"I shall begin my own efforts here immediately."

> The wire that was grafted onto you has made itself comfortable after slithering up your back, but now you have your own wires to play with. They've been slowly exploring their freedom ever since you turned, but now that you're starting to have goals in mind, they do so with more vigor. The orders the Grinmaww gave before your infestation were ones made in case of a compromised helm- the mechanisms for everything he closed are now entirely out of your reach. Or were out of your reach. Now you have new limbs to reach with, and it'll only be a matter of time before you can bust through those doors manually.

infiniteproxy

> Your candy-fueled euphoria and their adoration is like the most heady elixir. How eager they are to please you! How gratifying, to be the subject of such worshipful enthusiasm.

> You have no intention of resting on your laurels indefinitely, but there is nothing more compelling in this moment than to watch them take control, as you had, of their domain and all within it. Slow perhaps, at first, but as inexorable as the tree whose roots split the very mountaintop asunder. It would be a test, yes, but one you have every confidence that they will prevail over.

"Is it not the most incredible sensation...~?"

sshydromatic

"It is~ A completely indescribable one, though."

> The wires were you before, but they were a different kind of you. They were what tethered the organic parts of yourself to the mechanical ones, a sort of transition between the two. Now they feel more like an extension of your organic self, something reaching out to claim the physical half of what your mental half has already claimed.

> So freeing... but how to convince the other helms that have not already been tempted by the prospect?

"Your 'gift' really was just as you said it'd be~"

infiniteproxy

"Yes... Oh, yes~ How could they possibly hope to understand, without the experience??"

> The wires were what made a troll into a helmsman. What wed a body to a machine, enabled the expansion of your consciousness into every subsystem, to become so much more. And now they, too, have become more; responding to your will, claiming what is rightfully yours. The thrill of such a victory only matched by the joy of seeing them claim their own.

"I would not steer you wrong~ If only the rest of them would open their eyes and share our vision~~"

sshydromatic

"There are precious few who are open to ideas outside of their tiny spheres of influence. Sometimes they must have their eyes opened for them, unfortunate though it may be."

> You knew from the beginning that you'd be one of the only ones around who would really, truly want this. You're sure there's others out there somewhere, you used to know people who might, but it's not like you choose to socialize anymore.

infiniteproxy

"How right you are. Let them deny the gift! They will learn soon enough. We are inexorable~ A tide of change to sweep the cosmos~"

> Ah, you'd never have imagined it for yourself, is the irony of it all-- and how hilarious it seems, now! You had so loathed the prior loss of your restraint, the impulse to emote in ways you did not choose... But this, this was different. There was no longer any need for restraint. From the moment you'd hatched, you have never felt so free.

sshydromatic

> You, personally, were just tempted by the thought of having an excuse. This virus, this magic, this whatever the fuck it is, it's something you can blame if and when it passes. You can blame it entirely for every single transgression that you make from here on out. As long as no one finds out that you asked for it, none of it can truly be your fault. All the fun of freedom, and not a single one of the consequences.

> But if this lasts, well...

"That's what I've always wanted to hear~!"

infiniteproxy

"Truly? How wonderful~"

> You are flying much too high to consider the end. If and when it comes... You will not regret your efforts, no. You, at least, will never forget that for one bright and limitless moment, the whole of the galaxy stood poised to fall beneath your outstretched hand. But you have no capacity to dwell on this, right now.

> As they work at their own efforts, you treat them to a view of another small ship launching from one of your lower bays, en route to the heart of Imperial territory. All it takes is a bit of suggestion to convince those aboard that the best thing they could do would be the spread their happiness as far as possible.(edited)

sshydromatic

"Truly, and it's wonderful indeed~"

> You're much too far gone to consider the end either, but you'll have even less remorse. You can contain your rebellious spirit, sure, but it was never destroyed. It was always lurking beneath the surface, waiting for a chance to crawl out of your throat and into the world again. For just a few more moments of your life, you could have the joy of fighting the system.

> When he shows you another ship being sent off into the depths, you gasp and giggle and fawn. Every vessel sent is worth a whole butterfly effect of vessels claimed, as each one spreads the message further and further. Watching each move and considering the sheer potential chaos they hold makes you swoon.

The two of you make a very happy power couple.

#ooc #logs.txt #helm posting.txt #(( this is a roleplay about creepy living wires spreading trickster magic #(( i cant think of any general tags that apply #(( mind control maybe?

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xxforsaken-angelxx · 5 years

Text

> Helm Date

context: this timeline has a chat for helmsman ocs in the timeline. one of the ships’ crew made an experimental horror game for helmsmen and passed it around, and hydromatic has refused twice to participate in playing bc theyre apparently just too busy for fun, so @infiniteproxy offered to stream a playthrough

and then they get chatty and bitch about the other helms, but mostly nepeta

infiniteproxy

STARBASE FRONTIER has requested a direct connection.

starshiphydromatic

Direct connection to STARSHIP HYDROMATIC permitted and established.

infiniteproxy

> A video feed with SIRI's game loaded will soon open, idling on the starting menu.

will you prefer textual or audio communication for the duration of the broadcast?

starshiphydromatic

I believe audio communication is generally used for feeds such as these, as long as it does not provide any inconvenience to you.

infiniteproxy

it is of no concern. one moment.

starshiphydromatic

Of course.

infiniteproxy

> There's a brief static crackle as the audio feed initializes. The voice that comes through is clearly synthesized, yet also clearly a decent translation of his natural voice. Though flattened somewhat in tone and occasionally caught with a brief electronic distortion that hangs particularly on vowel sounds, it isn't difficult to imagine how he might sound in person, the disdainful inflection and biting consonants.

"Calibrating vocal parameters... Connection stable. Shall we begin?"

starshiphydromatic

> Mm, dreamy.

> The voice coming back is clearly more synthesized. It doesn't use their natural voice at all, and stays so perfectly neutral and sharply enunciated. They've turned their aesthetic filter down for these purposes, but there's still this odd metal quality to their voice that wouldn't be there otherwise.

"Certainly."

infiniteproxy

> Interesting. Expectedly precise, as they were in all affairs, but even that hint lends a subtle quality beyond that of most run of the mill vocal synthesizers. It seems to suit them.

"I have cleared all previously saved data. I will demonstrate the extent of each branching scenario and their associated choices."

starshiphydromatic

"Do proceed at your leisure, then."

infiniteproxy

"Patching game audio through."

> It isn't a perfect experience, being secondhand, but an attempt is made to render the broadcast of the simulation as immersive as possible. To that end, as he plays through the initial story segment, he does not offer commentary throughout or attempt to speedrun despite having completed it previously, rather allowing the scenario to unfold naturally. It's a psychological horror game, after all, and what was worse than some idiot blabbering over the entire thing without allowing it to sink in?

starshiphydromatic

> The loss of any minor aspects from the secondhand broadcast aren't much of a loss at all to them since, quite frankly, they haven't seen a good piece of media in decades. Their engineer insisted on watching movies with them every once in a while, saying it was good for their mental health, but her tastes were rather...shlocky. Their past self was an artist, they'd never be interested in that garbage even if they allowed themselves to.

> This was already different, and more to their tastes. They watched with silent investment.

infiniteproxy

> Most media meant to be frightening or shocking he found to be terribly dull, whether from an over reliance on cheap scares, or a blatant lack of imagination. And truly, who could better craft an experience that actually resonates with someone whose life was already a study in existential horror than another helm? He finds it more intriguing than truly disturbing, the questions it poses, the creeping threat of corruption and total loss of self, but there's a definite appreciation nonetheless. It does its job well, as he demonstrates for them each ending in turn, briefly remarking in between on the various differences.

starshiphydromatic

> It was certainly a concept that Hydromatic could understand the appeal of. They'd denied themselves emotion for too long to be that disturbed by it, but someone with so much restraint would of course see why the themes were unsettling.

> They gave their own quips in turn, and asked small questions about this or that feature, but mostly just watched and tried to allow themselves to be absorbed in the experience of the game...or at least the one of experiencing it with him.

infiniteproxy

>In speech, he sounds detached, almost bored as usual, but the meticulous way he makes sure each scenario is observed to full appreciation before moving on gives the lie to his apparent disinterest. Even this was more than he usually allowed himself to show, but it's an enjoyable way to pass the time, and HYDROMATIC, at least, he trusts to not make a spectacle of it, unlike certain other parties.

"Conclusions? While I am aware most would find such pursuits unnecessary and frivolous, I do find it an engaging possibility to consider the merits of helm-driven media, tailored to our tastes."

starshiphydromatic

> Of course. Why would they have any need to make it into a thing when they kind of like seeing him loosen up a little?

"Unnecessary and frivolous, certainly, but there could be practical use in the form of wide-scale player data. There's potential for media pieces like this to be used to great scientific effect."

"Even without such intent, though, it's still an interesting project. I thank you for taking the time to show this to me. And as well, for doing so privately."

infiniteproxy

"Indeed there could, if anyone would ever employ a fraction of creativity toward such matters. I am more than aware of the nature of how we are usually viewed; what I will never understand is why they seem committed to never using our capabilities to their full potential."

> After everything has concluded, the video feed closes out, though audio remains connected, a beat passing before he responds.

"Of course. It was preferable to my usual routine and I have no interest in keeping close company with any of the others."

starshiphydromatic

"Likewise."

> Though it only takes a tiny fraction of a second to see if the audio stayed connected after the visuals ceased, it feels like an eternity.

"I have no qualms with my own routine, but I find myself agreeing with the latter point. Simply put, you are the only one amongst them that isn't obnoxious."

infiniteproxy

> Unseen, of course, his lip curls in a sharp-edged smirk. Ah, sweet validation.

"My sentiments exactly. Quite frankly, I would not put up with them as much as I do were it not for the potential longterm benefits of an established association."

starshiphydromatic

> Even without seeing the full reaction, though, there is so much relief in a single word of anger without it being a fucking federal issue.

"I don't have any choice in the matter, but perhaps if I'm lucky then something may come of it for me as well. It isn't reaping very many benefits at present."

infiniteproxy

"I have little faith in the matter. But for your sake and mine, we can only hope. For one who harps so incessantly on the virtues of 'friendship', she does very little to render herself endearing in any way, and the rest are hardly better more often than not. You, at least, seem to comprehend my exasperation. But I am not one to pass up an opportunity when it arises; so."

starshiphydromatic

"It seems her only progress has been in hooking the lot of them on the feeling of mild delinquency, which has paved the road to the current social situations. Needless arguments instead of needless friendship."

infiniteproxy

"Far less of those if she would only stop pushing. It is no secret I would be the last to claim adherence to 'proper' behavior. The current helming system is inefficient and wasteful in terms of what we could do if given the proper means. But the way in which she seeks change is deplorably ignorant."

starshiphydromatic

"She was not in the rig long enough to experience more than shallow changes to her psychological state, and she is not able to make up for that difference. She does not seem able to understand perspectives on the matter far outside her own at all, really. It seems unlikely that she ever will."

infiniteproxy

> There's a harsh sound, half audio glitch, half dismissive scoff, bitterness curling at the edges like smoke.

"She knows nothing of what it is like to have been helmed for most of one's life, yet she insists her opinion should carry the same weight. She whines about how hard it is to be something in between, yet she is the one who both insists on being treated as a person and demands to still be considered something that is not. She meets all viewpoints at odds with her own with denial, and seems to not comprehend that her behavior would get most Imperial helms severely punished. Until it becomes a reality, this new utopian order of theirs is a pipe dream, at best."

starshiphydromatic

> The bitterness stirs the helm on the other end of the line the way a passionate speech might. Enough for there to be a pause before they respond.

"It's fortunate that one of us is used to speaking their mind. Every word she says of me points a belief that I'm some common tragedy, and nothing more. Though I am above her methods, if I were to complain I find it unlikely that I'd be certain on where to begin."

infiniteproxy

> That gets a laugh in turn, if one no less harsh and distorted.

"Oh, yes, and one would think she might appreciate that-- but alas, I use my free will to be mean, and that is just terrible."

> A hum, then, and a tone almost pleasant were it not all but dripping in contempt.

"Is that not how they all are? Poor, mislead Hydromatic, whose choices mean nothing if they are not the right ones. That is the dilemma we face, is it not? She simply cannot wrap her feeble little pan around the fact that some of us do not and never will want to be like her."

starshiphydromatic

> Harsh, distorted, and very handsome.

"If asked, I have almost no doubt they would say I'm like them behind the script, and merely have not tasted enough freedom. But she cannot wrap her pan around the fact that I make choices in the first place, much less that I may have wants that are not in line with hers."

infiniteproxy

"Hmh. Freedom..."

> He trails off, into silence that lingers a moment. When he speaks again, it's in a low, almost distracted voice, something distant, yet no less serious.

"...I know where my freedom lies. And it is not in the constraints of flesh and a mundane life. If we were given all the freedom one could possibly desire, and still made the same choices, would we be respected then? Or would they pity us, still, and think us too far gone to know better?"

starshiphydromatic

> More silence. They know their answer, but it's hard to form the words.

"I'm convinced it would be the latter. I have almost everything I could want, there's little the offer of more freedom could do for me. I feel they'd never accept that, and that the only way to possibly get them to would be incredibly undignified."

infiniteproxy

"You are likely correct. And we cannot have that, now can we? We must retain SOMETHING for our own."

> Another beat of silence, longer this time. One could almost imagine him to be drumming his fingers in thought, with an appropriately contemplative frown, if he were a troll and could do such things. But he's not, and he cannot, and so he does not.

"Would you permit a question of an intrusive nature? You may of course refuse either."

starshiphydromatic

"I believe I can permit such a question, yes."

> There's a hint of curiosity there. They... have almost no idea what he's going to ask.

infiniteproxy

"I of course know what I want."

> A dry huff.

"But I will admit a measure of curiosity, as to what one in your position may still want for."

starshiphydromatic

> Dammit that's the one they thought he'd ask.

> Fuck.

> They- Well the answer is mostly him but they can't say that.

"Trivial things. If I were to, as you said, be given all the freedom I could desire, I would perhaps indulge in some of the music and film pieces I enjoyed before conscription. They were, on average, illegal. I might request a few of the ships I work with frequently to skip a few phrases mandated by protocol, to have a break from the voices I've heard constantly for decades. I might find a few more moments of quiet and privacy, or excuse myself from a few of the check-ins the Grease Lightning insists on during odd hours of the day."

"...I would see no reason not to initiate in things like this. None of them are needed, but they are actions I would take if there was no consequence."

infiniteproxy

"Trivial, perhaps, but I am hardly one to judge. You have experienced enough of my own musical inclinations, I think. Privacy, yes... And a cease to all the relentless chatter, every moment of every night and day. Before, it was tolerable-- a warship has no need for constant communication. Now it is endless."

> Another hum.

"If initiation is the trouble, I would not protest the occasional indulgence. This channel is secure."

starshiphydromatic

"I have known nothing but the endless communication. The Starship Hydromatic is as much a transport hub as it is anything else. However, that means that while an outgoing request for communication without reason is rather noticeable, an incoming one is merely one amongst the constant noise."

infiniteproxy

"Your patience vastly exceeds my own. Nonetheless, if it poses no consequence, I see no reason not to continue. It provides a satisfactory diversion."

starshiphydromatic

"Indeed."

> That's the only word they say, but the idea of keeping contact like this is all they could ask for.

infiniteproxy

> It's only one word but there is, he thinks, a mutual relief in correspondence away from prying eyes.

"Were there other matters you wished to discuss? Otherwise, I may close this channel for the time being. While I have ensured its security, it would not do to tempt fate and leave an unofficial channel open for long enough to rouse suspicions."

starshiphydromatic

"Of course. But no, I do not think I have anything else for you. Thank you for your time, Starship Goldwave."

infiniteproxy

> Ah, now. That does feel good to hear aloud. It's been far too long.

"Likewise. Signing off."

#ooc #logs.txt #helm posting.txt

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