#her relationship with aemma is something so genuinely central to who she becomes and how she interacts with her children and the level of af

[halfyearsqueen]

lily : how does your muse view their mother ?

BOTANICAL HEADCANONS / @wcrriorhearts

in rhaenyra's eyes, aemma was everything. she was perfect. she was this kind, gentle often weary presence who always had a nice word to say to everyone. she was a good queen, a good mother, and everything rhaenyra ever wanted to emulate with her own children. and she never seemed to hold it against her that her only surviving child was a daughter, and that in the eyes of some she ? didn't do her duty to her husband. that she failed him in not giving him a healthy son. and she was so ? grateful for that once she grew old enough for the societal importance of a son to really weigh on her. she was an eight year old child when aemma died. aemma's experiences and aemma's pain and losses colored much of how rhaenyra viewed her position, and how she viewed motherhood before and after she was one.

she thinks that her life was ? tragic. absolutely tragic. and the fact she was made heir only after aemma died is something so entirely frustrating to her those early years because if she had been worthy enough to be named heir then, why couldn't he have named her so before. aemma gave her entire life to the service of giving viserys an heir and a worthy successor and once she became that, she was going to make sure that she did, even if she wasn't a son. she was going to fight for it, and push herself consistently and constantly and go above and beyond what would've been expected of a male heir, so she would be worthy enough that it didn't matter that she wasn't a boy, that she'd earned her place. so it didn't matter she had three brothers who COULD take her place. that she'd made her mother's life and made her memory something that would be memorable in an altogether different way - that it wouldn't matter she didn't give the crown another king, that she would be the mother of the first ruling queen, that her memory would be more then just a footnote in westerosi history .

it solidifies a lot of her determination and why once she's given her position, she clings to it. because she's been around politics her entire life up to that point but she's never thought to want the throne because the assumption was always; she would have a brother to take it. and if she never had a brother, it was going to go to daemon. the memory of aemma and her kindness, her compassion, it gives her a lot of strength, and comfort as the years go on. and she modeled a lot of what she viewed as the idealized version of motherhood off of her own mother. she's the strongest woman that she's ever ? known. and she honors her memory even further by placing the arryn symbol on her banners once the dance breaks out. aemma was ? her motivation before she'd had children, a comfort when everything got to be too much to bear to pick herself up and keep going and keep fighting for her place at court.

her fear of pregnancy, and her fear of childbirth stems almost wholly from what she watched aemma experience. from what she'd heard of daella, and alyssa. and like during her pregnancy with jacaerys she ? her anxiety was mounting with the passing of every moon because she knew that ? even if he was born healthy, something could happen in the cradle. and she would be expected to try again, and that was a thing that was unbearable for her to think about. there was also the fear that he would be born a girl to contend with; that she would be placing her burdens on an innocent baby, and with the level of scrutiny and sexism she'd already faced from 111AC on, that alone was ? she personally ? would have very much been willing to leave her throne and titles to a daughter. but she also knew what she faced would become so much worse if it looked like absolute primogeniture was going to become precedent without any legal backing.

#her relationship with aemma is something so genuinely central to who she becomes and how she interacts with her children and the level of af #affection and care that she gives them that she ? #learned from the memory of her mother #the memory of her is something that feels almost sacred in the sense that #it's what she clings to for security when everything else is uncertain #and i think it is part of why she wants a daughter so badly after she doesn't ? have to worry about putting a target on the back of an #innocent child due to what she herself has experienced as the ruling monarch's firstborn daughter challenging precedence so HEAD ON #infant death tw #i feel like we think of her being the exception as a mark against her character when like . that was something that was pretty much ? #unspoken at court #until corlys tells her that same thing after the fall of kings landing