#how hard a time he has coping with Bad Shit longterm cause he wants to focus on the positive

[raayllum]

having a moment (and this might be my autism speaking) of remembering that when characters (or even irl people) are analyzed / analyzing themselves, some people just look at the behavioural patterns and not where they stem from in the character's psyche and go "my job is done" when the job is half finished cause to me that shit has always been synonymous and i cannot imagine fathoming meta writing from any other standpoint

#characterization #tag ramble #to be clear you can. like yall know i love my structural shit #but if you're analyzing character like you absolutely have to get to the root cause of #like it's the Same root cause and just differing / circumstantial manifestations every time #the characters' behaviours both good and bad #one of callum's best traits is that he's observant and this leads to both his nurturing and nasty sides #rayla is action / independent oriented and this leads to her heroics but also #every time she fucks up an interpersonal relationship by lying or leaving #ezran is optimistic which leads to his compassion and second chances but also #how hard a time he has coping with Bad Shit longterm cause he wants to focus on the positive #/ his moments where it bleeds into naivety #insp by chats with kuno chan

[cripplecharacters]

(blue, 1/3) for background... this canon character i'm writing about has some serious past trauma (longterm imprisonment + physical torture, has scars all over him), and later on he loses an arm in a traumatic battle. (unfortunately the author completely showed him 'fine' later and never touched on his feelings with his trauma, which is why i'm writing this!) but i feel like i'm walking into a minefield here: it's probably too risky to have him experience suicidal urges

TRIGGER WARNING

(blue, 2/?) or anything.. slightly beyond that at THIS stage in his life because the feelings of his past trauma would resurface with this injury, since given his cocky personality prior to this he would have never addressed his old trauma, even if i take the precautions of a) making sure the feelings are about the EVENT and not the result aka his lost arm b) making sure that’s NOT what the whole story/his character is about

(blue, 3/?) c) making sure it’s not a case of ‘this neurotypical ablebodied person TOTALLY understands what i’m going through and love heals all, wow! :)’… i probably should avoid this anyway, right? and instead opt for it being something that’s happened before prior to this, and now he’s just afraid since he thought this wasn’t an issue? for clarification he’s doing all the growth/development on his own, at least i’m trying hard to go for that, instead of having someone else do that for him.

(putting this here and in the tags but massive TW: SUICIDE, TRAUMA, SELF-HARM)

hey there! I’m a little confused on what exactly you’re asking- you’re trying to ask if it would be appropriate to write him with suicidal urges while he’s trying to recover, correct? side note- trying to write someone’s recovery because you feel the author did a shit job is a really great idea; and you sound like you’ve been doing your research!

so as someone with trauma; urges are par for the course usually, and not at all unusual when it comes to trying to recover and heal. they can occur at any point in time; even if you think you’re past them. if you’re writing him as he finally confronting his trauma, it actually wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for him to experience more/new suicidal feelings. it wouldn’t be out of line or unrealistic to include them if you do the research. you are attempting to make sure that his suicidal urges aren’t about anything that could be harmful, right? with the abcs you listed. even if he feels he’s ‘past’ them, the brain doesn’t tend to agree, especially when you deal with things that have resurfaced. so I think it would be an ok thing to write; realistic, even. here’s what I can think of that might help. obvious trigger warning, and I’m going to be as frank as possible in order to explain as much as I can-

many suicidal urges in traumatized people can come without a direct ‘cause’ and more as just a response to all the emotions and pain, I.e. thinking it can be an escape from dealing with everything. especially if one spends years trying to ignore it; that usually doesn’t work long term and can just make it harder to finally confront something. heavy emotions are really draining and can make it feel like each day is tiring and worthless (the depression.) it’s exhausting to deal with heavy emotions and fear and pain and the recovery can feel too slow. it’s frustrating and can make people angry and then guilty at being angry and so on. it varies from person to person how trauma can effect their day to day life, but everyone can agree that recovery is terrifying and difficult at the start.

it IS bad to use ‘the power of love’ troupe to ‘heal’ someone, but using support from loved ones to help does work. they can’t magically make things better, but they can provide support that makes recovery less bumpy. in the end you’re making the recovery the character’s journey alone, but including others who may influence it isn’t offensive or inaccurate. people can also influence suicidal feelings- increase them by guilt, or bate them by providing a reason to go on. these characters may not even know this, since everything is usually going on within one person’s head. however, sometimes even if you love someone the suicidal thoughts come; having a loved one doesn’t mean they’ll disappear. it’s a personal, private journey.

tw: self harm

looping back to suicide; if you don’t want the character to experience suicidal urges, then he probably will still experience self destructive urges, or general loose hold on safety. I can explain it by someone jaywalking not necessarily to die but with the thought that ‘it’s whatever if I get hit’ or doing things that are reckless because they don’t care if they die. these aren’t directly suicidal but are considered on a same scale because they show a lack of regard for one’s own life. risky behavior might suit your character more than outright suicidal urges, especially risky coping behavior like alcoholism or self harm. you can do these without outright hoping to die but they’re still as bad and in the same general area because they’re negative coping strategies that people often -know- are a problem but don’t/can’t care because they can’t se value in their life. from what I can gather; risky behavior might be what you’ll want to look into for him. and passive lack of regard for self where someone often has thoughts of 'I don’t care if I die right now’ or 'maybe I’ll get hit by a car today’ without actively wishing to do so. those are still in the same area but I don’t tend to see them written as often because people assume suicidal behavior is outright and loud when it can be insidious and itching in the mind. both are deeply upsetting. this might be more likely how he experiences new suicidal thoughts as he confronts his trauma and starts recovery. personally I’m very happy you want to take the time to write something so difficult and personal to some people because I’ve always wanted to see characters I like go through difficulties I/others have gone through and come out strong.

that’s all I can think of that could help; I’m sorry if I didn’t understand your question 100%! feel free to ask for specifics so I or another mod can pick up on it better! and apologies if I’m very frank about this. it’s a difficult subject that needs to be shown more in realistic manners, and I’m happy to see how respectful you’re trying to be. -mod Amy

#blue anon #mod Amy #tw suicide #tw self harm #tw trauma #tw alcohol mention