#i am MORE than aware of the evils on my carrd post im the one who has to see it.

[storm-of-feathers]

cant sleep gonna say my thoughts.

I think what a lot of people miss about tumblr (and especially unfocused blogs that, say, aren't fandom oriented) is that it's essentially an open journal. it's a microblogging website, and all blogging micro or macro is fundamentally a web log (where the term comes from!). if it seems like I'm not talking ab something enough, it's not because I don't care at all.

It's because first and foremost, this blog is a piece of my soul that I am choosing to share. I'm not trying to be an activist on the internet, I'm not trying to sway anyone to my opinions. I'm saying the things I think and feel. If I talk ab american politics too much, that's because im american. if I'm writing frustrated posts about performative internet activism, that's because it feels exhausting to be out there doing the work (because that's what it is. Its work. Its boring and taxing and it feels like youre getting nowhere. Until you see how far youve come) and having to come to tumblr and seeing people say I didn't talk about [disaster 30000 of the past ten years] enough.

if I seem angry and upset and scared and irrational, its because i am those things. you have to understand. in spite of my rather large follower number, this blog is, first and foremost, for me. I am writing things down and allowing strangers and friends and wanderers to read it. I won't call it a privilege that can be taken away, bc its not like some of my thoughts are exactly a treat, but it is something to keep in mind.

if you ask me why I'm talking about the supreme courts recent decisions but not similar decisions in other countries, the answer comes down to "one of those directly affects me, and therefore i can fight back."

but I shouldn't have to announce where and how I'm fighting back. if for no other reason, my own fucking safety. but also bc this blog isn't any sort of guide to activism, it's not any type instruction. it is, at best, my diary that I published.

and that isn't a bad thing!! and it shouldn't be!!! that's why I harped so hard on the carrd post. that's why I'm vaguely annoyed with my reddit posts. that's why I shared my marital status and sexuality for a long time. that's why i have a rwby icon. that's why my blog title which hasn't changed since 2018 is what it is.

I understand that sometimes I have opinions people don't like. oceangate in particular has proven to be a fantastic example of that. But i am, at the most basic terminology, venting my thoughts and feelings.

that's why I'm talking ab the supreme court and their awful decisions. why I may not be talking about issues that don't directly affect me, but might affect some of you. it's not because i don't care. It's never because I don't care.

It's because my target audience is a mirror.

#you need to understand. #im well aware of my bad reputation for not reblogging dono posts and for defending teenagers into dsmp #(not even dsmp itself! just the people who like it.) #i am MORE than aware of the evils on my carrd post im the one who has to see it. #but ultimately i stand by the things i say unless i change my mind. #if i change my mind its because i have more information than i did before #(ie. again. oceangate. i went back and forth as info came out. because i wanted to have an *informed* opinion) #but if i believe in what i said. if i hold to the principle i am espousing #its hard for me to apologize for anything more than i might have worded it weird #but at the end of the day #of the month #the year #life. #this blog. MY blog. is a record of alex storm-of-feathers #if someday a historian figures out our internet and how to access it #i want them to know #i want YOU to know #my name is alex #this is my journal #this is not any type of record on historical events #this is not me trying to organize activism #this is simply me. #my name is alex. #please remember that. #please remember me.