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#i cant really easily put it into words how amazing and surreal it is to have you and the others as friends
princemick-archive · 1 year
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🌸 do your worst
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thetorturerwrites · 4 years
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Puer Deus: Strings
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This amazing artwork was gifted to me by @faestae-writes​. Please do not re-use or re-post it without permission from them and/or myself. Don’t be a dickbag.
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Captured / Hurricane / Sustenance / Liar / Scars / Proof
Summary:  When he wants more
A/N:  OK YOU GUYS -- Look, if you're here this far in, you know this is some dark shit. So, please heed this warning: This is a DARK, heavy kink chapter. SO, some things... 1. The content herein has been dramatized for effect, but this is real shit that happens in the real world. Please feel free to ask me any questions. 2. If you feel the need to explore anything here further, do your research and be risk aware. 3. Strap in. This is some shit. 4. 50 points to your house if you spot the FYA reference. :)
Word Count: 9.3k (I AM NOT SORRY)
Day Seven
It was a flicker of a moment, a subtle jolt of injected power, when the night cycle ended and day officially began.
What day is it?
Today was the first time you wouldn’t stumble to consciousness or fight through a fog.  You were still embroiled in questions, though. Ren told you that you’d been here four days, but how many days ago was that?
You decided it was simply too surreal for you to actually be here, to be in your body, in Ren’s room, on board his ship.  Each time you thought up a level, you felt smaller and more insignificant. Maybe you really had died. Maybe you’d bled out on his floor, and this was your afterlife.
No, not that lucky… 
Your eyes were dry and red from so much crying.  Your body was beyond battered, a landscape of harm and wound, mania and furor. You wore the hue of bruise like a new catsuit, covered by Ren’s painful passion from throat to toes.
The idea that some part of you would hurt, sting, throb, or ache every day you were with Ren had been hard to swallow; but a week into this persecution, you knew it to be fact.
How long until he breaks bones?
Sitting in the center of his great, wide bed, you ran your fingers over the still-bloody sheets and contemplated the last however many hours.  Ren made it clear that he still meant to keep you, and the idea was solidifying more and more in your brain. You pondered whether or not you would be allowed to leave this fucking room as his personal pet.
Having spent a lifetime under open skies, being caged inside four walls for days, weeks, maybe months sent your anxiety into overdrive.  The notion that you would only ever see light cycles and never again sunlight strangled you, chased away all your air. At some point, you knew you would try to flee again just for a damn change of scenery.  
After he’d left, you complied with Ren’s instructions insomuch as you did eat and did not try to escape.  Sleep, on the other hand, was put to the back burner because you were still in his chambers. Even if he didn’t spend all of his time here, these were his things, and they could tell you a great deal.  With the guard outside this time, you simply could not pass up the opportunity to explore.
The room was eloquent in its simplicity and deliberate in its function.  You ran fingers and palms over all of the flat surfaces, seeking out hidden drawers or levers in the walls and along the sides of the bed.  Everything was dark gloss, industrial in its execution and easily maintained.
Of note, there was a threshold of polish right at the door, a long stretch just on the inside where the shine was high. However, that luster faded two or three steps inside.  Ren did not allow people in his room often, even a cleaning crew.
Defeated, you slunk back to the bed.  You’d checked all of the hiding places you would use, but you found nothing.  Ren either didn’t have anything to hide or he was exceptionally good at it.
Sometime in the night cycle, you’d awoken alone in an empty bed, struggling with this swirling sense of loneliness.  Captors didn’t usually sleep with prisoners, but weren’t you more than a prisoner now? With a scowl, you shook the stupid thought from your head.
You were an object to him, easily discarded and forgotten.
You hadn’t slept much after that.  You curled onto your side, facing the vacant side of the bed and overrun with disquiet, anticipation.  You were faced with warring options. Relent and become the devil’s plaything or escape and be hunted. The bitter truth was you wanted both, and this was not the sort of universe to grant such possibilities.
Morning came, food was delivered, and you were still alone.  
Now, you were trying to forget the familiarity you thought you’d seen in Ren’s eyes yesterday, trying to wash it down the damnable drain.  He was no more capable of gentleness than you were of speech. Trying to smother the ache, you turned the shower up as hot as you could handle and drifted into distraction, turning inward in a forlorn bid to comfort yourself.
The darkness that had always been there for you, though, was an empty consolation.  Ren had blown apart every part of you and stomped on the ashes; he’d even taken your blessed darkness, the one place you could hide.  Because when you closed your eyes to sink into that blissful nothingness, you saw him, his bloody face, his burning eyes.
Kylo Ren had infected every part of you, right down to the subconscious.
When you could pity yourself no more, you turned off the shower, scraped the water from your body as best you could, and purposefully avoided your reflection.  The woman in the mirror wanted you to make choices you weren’t sure you could live with.
Exiting the bathroom, you were stopped dead in your tracks by the sight of Ren sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed.  He had a smallish black case to his left and was resting with one arm on a bent knee, his long body relaxed and waiting for you.
You were irked by how beautiful and calm and unhurried he looked.  Must he always look so put together when you only ever felt on the verge of shattering into dirty, unrecognizable pieces of yourself?
Hi...
“You haven’t eaten today.”
He gestured over his shoulder to the tray that still had food on it.  You were flushed from the hot water and stark fucking naked, but you burned redder at the idea that you were going to be punished like a child for not eating. Again. 
Canting your head a bit, you gestured towards the shower.  You’d wanted to wash away the feel of dry, endlessly recycled air, dirt, and shame before you did anything else.  Conquering the day wasn’t on your agenda, but surviving it was.
“Good,” he looked you over speculatively, and your eyebrows shot to your hairline.
He’d shoved food directly into your throat to make sure you were decently-nourished; and now, he didn’t care if you ate?  The speed with which this man changed course made your head swim, and you just stared at him, complete irritation plastered all over your face.  
Fucking pick one, would you please?
The withering look he leveled at you set your blood to boiling.  You’d forgotten that he could hear you now; but by the darkness in his eyes, you knew he’d be sure you didn’t forget again.
“Come here.”
You tensed, arms crossing over your chest as though you could armor yourself against him.  For a second, you couldn’t make yourself move. He wanted you to willingly deliver yourself to his torment.  
A shiver worked its way up your spine, blossoming into sparks at the back of your brain, but you couldn’t tell if it was from fear or pining.  If you refused, he would simply put his angry hands on your body and bend you to his whim. You didn’t know what would happen if you complied without a fight.
Taking in a steadying breath, you closed the distance on tender steps, the soles of your feet still bothered at bearing weight so soon.  Stopping when you were within arms reach, you looked past him to study the kit he’d brought, uncertainty wrinkling your forehead.  
It was a med kit, a field kit.  You’d carried one yourself for years, but your wounds had already been tended.  You were littered with surgical tape and Bacta patches.
What could he possibly need a field kit for?
Are you hurt?
Ren’s rough hand slid up along the curve of your body, settling at your waist and sending fissures of desire playing along the swell of your belly.  Your knees and thighs pressed together, and you shifted under his appraisal. He’d seen you naked before. Multiple times, in fact. But this felt different, affectionate. He had stripped you completely bare, laid out your mind and soul for him to reanimate at will.
Feeling naked in front of this man was about more than just your flesh.
Digging his fingers in, he maneuvered you to sit on the edge of the bed in front of him.  All of the tension you’d washed away in the shower came barreling back. Every muscle was tight, and every synapse was screaming that you needed to get away.
Sat like this, unrestrained before him, you fidgeted, frightened.  Your heart drummed so loud you thought he could certainly hear it. When he was silent and calm like this, you were lost to apprehension, images of lightsabers inside your body where they shouldn’t be flooding your mind. You could likely conjure up more ways for him to murder you than he could.
Just as worrisome, you couldn’t look away.  He captivated you each time he was in the room.  His dark irises gleamed as he held your stare, his full lips curving up on a smirk.  He was daring you to look away first.
He won.
You wilted from the intensity of his gaze, turning your inflamed face away and averting your eyes.  In your stupor, you didn’t realize that he was talking to you. The only thing you could hear was the metronome of your heart, its pace quickening moment by moment.
Displeased that he had to draw back your attention, Ren’s hand was around your calf, fingers pushing in between the muscles and rubbing demandingly. You glared and hissed, twisting your legs together, knees tight.
What!
Slowly, deliberately, he reached up and swept his thumb along your mouth, smoothing away the bothered sneer.  When your lips relaxed, he pushed in and hooked his thumb into your teeth the way you hated, the way you loved.
Your core clenched as he tugged you forward. He brought you nose to nose, so close you could feel his warm breath.  He cleaved apart your desire to fight, soothing you into compliance with weaponized stillness.
“Open,” his voice was melodic, low, and rousing.
Your forehead crinkled in confusion.  Lifting a hand to settle at his wrist, needing the contact to go on, you shook your head ever so slightly because his thumb was already in your mouth.  It already was open.  
You felt his fingers tapping on your knee, then, and you burned red from ears to toes.  Whining, you tugged against his grip in a bid to keep him from seeing the way your thighs rubbed together at the very idea.
“I will not be repeating myself today, puppet.”
Blanching, you stiffened, building up any courage you could muster.  Finally, as though your maidenhead was actually still intact and valuable, you hesitantly parted your knees.
Other than his eyes trailing downward to watch your legs barely obey, Ren didn’t move or speak.  When his fingers dug harshly into your cheeks, cutting the weak skin inside against your teeth, you lurched and struggled.  This only tightened his hold, and you thought he might break your jaw. Clutching his forearm, you fought to settle back onto the bed and opened your knees wider and then wider still.
He didn’t release his rough grip on your face until your thighs were splayed far enough apart that your pussy opened for him, too, and your face ignited with humiliation. You rubbed at your abused jaw and cheek, wondering how long it would take the finger-sized discolorations to develop.
Are you hurt, though?
You surprised even yourself with the repeat question, circling back oddly and still not certain why you should be bothered.  He turned his beautiful, dusky eyes to you, and your breath caught. Was he pleased with your concern? Did it satisfy him to think he’d brainwashed you into caring?
He trapped you there, pinned by his mesmerizing eyes, while his fingers slid up your calf, thigh, hip.  You were nearly lulled into thinking his light touch would extend to your aching cunt, but he gripped your outer labia into such a tight pinch that you felt punched in the stomach.
You yelped and surged forward, folding in as much as you could, hips from screwing side to side trying to lessen the pressure.  He squeezed and tugged upon the tender flesh until it puffed up, swelling under his ministrations.
A satisfied sound bubbled up from his throat, and you slowly brought your focus back to him.
Kylo..please...
In a hot second, he switched and snatched up your left labia, digging his fingers in so deep you could feel the nails.  You shouted out, the wheeze of it tapering off as your breath heaved. Mirroring his grip, you dug your fingers into his arm but didn't try to push him away.
Screwing your eyes shut, you shuddered and tried to roll through the pain.
The whole middle of your body throbbed in time to your heartbeat, and you groaned when the endorphins finally kicked in to flood you with acceptance, the sound of it indecent even to you.  The sting and pulse abated slightly, and your head fell back, lips parting on a relieved sigh.  
“There we go,” he murmured, voice smooth like honey. “Open your eyes.”
You very nearly refused and vaulted from your perch, but it was inevitable.  You wanted to obey nearly as much as you wanted to fight, and it was this internal war he wanted to witness every time.  Willing your breathing to steady, you relaxed your fingers at his sleeve and opened glassy eyes.
The look of him, the utter craving displayed on his godlike features, was arresting, intoxicating.  His eyes shone a shade of twilight you’d never get used to, and his lips trembled, barely keeping his hunger contained. The way he was looking up at you was erotic and evoked a terrible longing.
Kylo!
Your face twisted into a pained frown as he switched back and forth between the two bloated lips.  He clucked in condescension when warm juice tracked down onto his fingers, and you buried your face in your hands.  When he finally stopped crushing you in his vice grip, the gratitude rushed out unchecked.
THANK you…   
Absent his touch, you pressed a hand at your abdomen and forced yourself to breathe deeply.  You were wholly disgusted with your response to such vulgar treatment. Would you blossom under every madness he put upon you? 
Your eyes lit upon his hands and the case he was holding, and you forgot to feel repulsed.
Dread filled your chest, squeezing your lungs back into panic. You had no fucking idea what he was about to do, and you were too terrified to look away. You didn’t think you could curtail his plan, but maybe you could persuade him that you would be good.
If you’ll just let me, I’ll go do it right now...
Ignoring you completely, he produced and threaded a slender surgical needle. Your torso hunched of its own volition, trying in vain to put more distance between you and that curved metal.  You mewled and whined, begging him to look and not do whatever this was, but he brushed your hands away, reaching out to tug and pinch at your labia again, inching nearer to his goal.
Fuck, Kylo..I’ll eat dammit! Please stop...
He looked at you, smug and cruel, and you finally understood that he was swelling your labia on purpose and with clear intent, and it had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you'd eaten.  
You shook your head wildly, leaning forward and pushing at his arm in a different spot every time he would wave you off. Desperate, pleading tears sprang to your eyes, and you clung to him.
No no please no not that please no…
Finished with your begging, Ren anchored you in place with the Force, preventing you from even twitching from the waist down. He hummed at the sight of you, flushed and heaving, thighs spread wide.
You were in the middle of the next pitiful appeal when you felt the needle pierce your most-sensitive skin.  
You were too shocked to move, to shout, to implore him to spare you this torture.  The thin suture line dragged through the perforation, and your eyes slammed so tightly shut you thought they might bleed.
It wasn’t until the second stab of his suture needle that you fully understood what was happening.  You’d thought he simply meant to pierce the bulging, inflamed lips in order to decorate them; but when he tugged the line taut, pulling the swollen folds together, you sputtered and choked on your own spit.  You pawed at his shoulder imploringly, foolishly hoping he would surrender this plan if you appeased him with your touch.
Kylo..please don’t do this...please don’t do this...
He crooned and cupped your face, the supple tone of his voice belying the very atrocity he was committing upon you.  He straightened up to nudge your jaw with his nose, dragging the tip through your tears. Your fingers curled so tight into his sleeve that you popped stitches in the black fabric, but he offered you no more solace than this. 
He wasn’t indifferent to your suffering; he reveled in it, enjoying seeing it up close.
“You need strings, puppet.”
You whimpered helplessly, thinking you’d likely launch yourself into a dying star if he told you to with that almost-adoring voice.
He released your face, and you dissolved into wretched sobs.  There was no escaping his iron will, his demented punishment. Pressing the heels of your shaking hands into your eyes, you openly wept, not bothering to try to be strong for this, for him. Expecting you to endure this easily was too much.
Ren had treated you like property from the moment he saw you.  He’d proven to you that you were little more than an object to be toyed with, and his words from that day in the shower resounded in your ears.  But in this, he was taking away your humanity entirely. Any pretense that you might have been afforded some pleasure for your endurance bled away.
Stitch by stitch, Ren sewed your labia together, rendering you an androgynous receptacle, suitable for nothing more than receiving pain.
When he was finished, your clit was hidden snug behind a fleshy hem, but your vagina was open, accessible.  That was the part he needed, you thought morbidly.  
The Force pressure dissipated, your legs instinctively pressed together, and you curled into yourself. Digging ruddy fingertips into the mattress, you tried to flee, to crawl across the bed and away from him.
You’re a monster...
He captured you around the hips and hauled you onto your feet.  He didn't care that you were awash in pain; it didn't factor into his plans and was, thus, negligible. He gathered you into his arms, and you wished, for the hundredth time, that he had just let you die.
The sutures were neat and tidy, but every movement tugged at them, reminding you of your place in Kylo Ren’s world.  You erupted into a new bout of tears and pushed at his chest, angry and gutted.
“Walk,” he pressed his lips to your temple, murmuring the order into your hair, “or crawl.”
On an offended snort, you jerked your head away from his kiss.  Battling yourself into some semblance of calm, you sniffled and nodded.  He absolutely would make you crawl down the halls of this ship wearing nothing but those fucking sutures, and you’d rather not be so debased as that.
Suffering for Ren was one thing; suffering for an audience was too much.
He had stepped away to shake out clothes for you to wear when the epinephrine crested and dropped you over a black cliff. Thunder roared in your ears, and your eyes rolled into white.  Chased by a wounded gasp, your legs lost all ability to hold you and buckled, but Ren was at your side in an instant, snatching you up before you hit the floor. 
Righting you, he held your weight until your breathing regulated and you pushed back onto your feet. Not wanting to meet his eyes, you nodded against his shoulder, a silent report that you were here with him.  He helped you dress in the gauzy black shirt and pants and tipped your face up.  
You had no idea what he was looking for, and you were too tired to fake whatever it was.
Wrapping his great hand around your upper arm, he steered you from the room and down a dark corridor. He wouldn’t go through all the trouble to maim you if he was going to kill you, and you wondered what fresh hell you were being delivered to now. Your steps were slow, hesitant, but he didn’t rush you.  
Probably enjoying watching you hobbled in a fantastic new way...
He stopped on a chuckle, turned you to face him, and looked down at you with sardonic amusement.  You met his stare, fresh out of any damn to give over whether or not he heard you. You knew you were in no way threatening to this brute, but you leveled him with a searing gaze anyways.
“Supreme Leader Snoke is pleased with my progress.” Ren offered, pulling you flush against his body.  “He thinks I have no further need for you…” He reached out to brush his thumb across your glowering mouth. “...but I find that I want more.”
Overwhelmed and nervous at the admission, your mouth dropped open and you stared, dumbfounded.  While your mind tumbled over what else you could possibly offer him, he brushed past, leaving you to follow.
More?  What else was there?  Hadn’t you already given him everything?  He’d broken through your safety wall. He’d all but bathed in your blood.  He’d sewn your fucking cunt shut so you couldn’t even use it like a human being.
What the fuck else could you possibly want from me…
You were so angry that you stupidly followed him into a blindingly white room.  You slammed to a stop and blinked, forcing the room into focus. In the center, there was a surgical table, a tray of neatly-arranged instruments, and a man, dressed in gray scrubs and donning a clear splash guard at his face.  On the opposite side sat Ren’s black helmet, dented and busted apart.
Hand at your elbow, Ren led you further in and stroked your face with his wide palm, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the table.  He nudged the shell of your ear with his nose, and you quivered to feel so near to him, almost like a lover. You clutched at his shirt, molding your body to his and trying to hide from the coming onslaught.
You shook your head, already disbelieving, not wanting to hear what he was going to say next.
“I want to hear you scream,” his voice was hushed, as though this was a romantic secret.
All the blood drained from your face, and your mouth went bone dry. You looked from Ren, who was gazing down at you in a way that seared your insides, to the man waiting to enact his orders.  He stood there silently, waiting for his Commander’s direction, and you wondered if he’d been threatened into this room, too.
Ren turned you into the very middle of this insanity and hunched down to bury his face into the crook of your neck, crowding you back into the table.  Dancing on your toes, you laid petrified and quaking fingertips at his neck, needing to impress upon him how crazy this was.
Kylo...you can hear me...I’ve already given you everything..please don’t do whatever this is...
Paying no attention to your pleas, Ren slid his hands into the roomy waistband of your pants and nudged them down your body, kicking the paltry fabric away before you could get them. He lifted you onto the table and situated you at its very end, legs dangling in an eerily familiar way.
He stepped into the space between your legs, scooting your hips out to meet his.  You felt blistered every time you came into contact with his body, fingers, nose. He tipped your head back to lick at the scars crossing your larynx and rocked his body against yours. He was thick against you, his body hardening at the pitiable display you were putting on, and you whimpered in shameless response.
“Be good, puppet,” he hummed against your ear, enjoying the way your body reacted to his vicious dominance.
He stepped back, tugging out the table's stirrups, and you didn’t know who to be more afraid of. The doctor positioned his tray nearer to your head, stepping in so close you could smell the antiseptic soap.
You pushed at Ren’s hands when he guided your heels into the braces.
Kylo..please...You can’t… I can’t…
It was fluid now, automatic.  Your mouth opened when his fingers drew near, and he yanked you forward by that wicked hook. He slid his thumb slowly against your tongue and looked directly up into your eyes. Your knees knocked together, and you cried out in pain, having forgotten in your terror that your pussy was sewn up tight.
“You will.”
He did something to you when he said those things, and you stopped squirming.  You would never win this war. You would only tire yourself out with the fighting.  Beyond that, some delirious part of you wanted to prove him right, to show him that yes, you could do this.
Clenching your hands into tight fists, you closed your eyes to quell anxious tears.  He finished arranging your legs into the stirrups and scooted your ass down to the end of the table.  
Shame flooded you, barely contained by the bruised membrane that was your skin, because anyone who walked into the room would be treated to a view of your mistreated cunt.
Over you, the two men discussed what was about to happen as though you weren’t even there, and you felt more infinitesimal than ever before.  The doctor agreed that this was, indeed, a minorly invasive surgery, but it was what came next that launched you forward, panic-induced frenzy telling you to get the fuck out now regardless of whether you died in the process.
“There’s no need for a sedative.  She will be fine. Topical if you need it, but nothing stronger.”
You were a rabid animal up against an unstoppable force, but you howled and thrashed anyways.  You clawed at his arms and tried to kick him in the stomach and groin. You screamed and sobbed because even Santcha, who had done nothing but beat, stab, and take from you, had never been so cruel.
Each day you were here, Kylo Ren was disassembling you and rearranging your parts. He was building himself a better puppet, piece by bloody fucking piece.
You cannot do this!  You cannot do this...Kylo..you fucking cannot...
The doctor hunched over, holding his groin and floundering. Ren smirked, punching you into place with his trunk of an arm at your stomach.  Looking down at you, he stroked the inside of your knee with lazy circles, no doubt in a patronizing attempt to settle your fraying nerves. 
“Calm down, puppet.  You’re hurting the good doctor here.”
In your hysteria, you were pushing your feelings, your pain, out into the world around you. If you still hadn’t believed Ren about your Force-sensitivity, you’d just manifested all the proof he would ever need.
Exhausted from your outburst and ashamed for assaulting someone who hadn’t harmed you, you swallowed down air and fixed your stare upon the ceiling.  You counted heartbeats until the muscle didn’t feel like it was about to explode from your chest.
Angrily, you pushed Ren’s hand away.  You needn’t be pitied by the very man who was causing all of this.
With a chuckle, he pulled a rolling stool over to sit like it was just another fucking day of endless meetings.  Lifting your head up to glare at him, your chest seized, breath hitching, because you could see his shoulders, neck, and face between your spread thighs.  
Kylo please...
Maybe it's what he thought you were begging for because the Force slid over you like a weighted blanket, pinning you to the table, and you were never so grateful for being relieved of your autonomy.
The doctor turned your head into place and secured a metal brace on your throat, prohibiting any movement.  He applied a foul-smelling ointment to your skin, and you shattered, horrified to your very marrow.
You no longer had eyes, only faucets spewing forth an endless stream of angry, mournful tears.  You tried closing them to staunch the flow because the doctor said you were moving too much, but you couldn't stop your body now. You weren't in control of it anymore. 
The stress response to this terror was unforgiving, and you thought it might never end.  He was going to have to cut you open from ear to ear because stopping the chatter of your teeth and the rattling of your shoulders and chest was simply not within your power.
Your fingers uncurled, reaching for Ren even though you knew he would never offer you this comfort.
Instead, warmth pooled around your breasts, licking up your sternum, and you drew in a tremulous breath. The Force that held you in place lavished attention upon your torso, cupping, massaging, and squeezing your breasts together. Warm and wet nipped at the hard peaks, and your calves flexed in response. 
“Quiet now.”
Ren's voice was even, demanding.  He had indulged your fear long enough, and it was now time to obey.  You concentrated on the invisible hand tugging your breasts into an aching throb and reminded yourself to wiggle your toes and fingers.  Your lips quivered on every exhale, but you were trying so hard to keep yourself together. 
You knew how to process pain, but this affliction could hardly be classified as pain.
As the doctor set to his task, you felt pressure at your neck but not the sting of the scalpel.  Ren seemed to want that sensation only for himself, and you conjured the image of him painted with your blood, preferring the memory of beautiful torture to this reality of sanitized mistreatment.
The doctor, asking Ren something you didn't catch, stuck his fucking fingers into your throat, and your panic kicked back up. You jerked against the stirrups, and your lips curled into a snarl, readying to shout curses at this man, consequences be damned.
Shushing you, Ren dipped his face between your thighs, and you nearly vaulted off the table when you felt his lips connect with the supple, bruised skin.  His kiss was soft, his lips smooth, and you bristled with ire that he would deny you the sight of him between your legs. 
Alongside the doctor, you cursed him and tightened your hands into angry fists.
He chuckled against you, clearly entertained by your fit.  The sensation at your breasts increased, the rippling heat licking, sucking, and biting at your nipples. The throb bubbled over and spread down your sides, slithering across your stomach.  It was rousing and teasing and distracting, exactly as it was meant to be.
Ren’s mouth traveled from one thigh to the other, and your whole face pinched with the effort to be as silent as possible.  It was clear that any noise you made, any vibration in your throat, would do more damage and prolong this bastardized treatment.
He didn’t want you to damage his property with your foolishness, you realized.
He murmured an agreement to the thought and kissed up the insides of both legs, sucked on his bruises, and nipped at the highest point of your thighs.  Your insides pooled, and he dipped his thumb into the wetness building for him, tugging ever so gently upon the weeping slit.
The doctor reached across your body to the tray that held the destroyed helmet, but you were too wrapped up in Ren’s wicked scheme to notice him plundering the debris for a specific part. The tension in your legs and hips had lessened under his mouth, and your vulnerable thighs had dropped further apart.
Abruptly, the pressure of the Force increased upon your entire body, and you were unnerved all over again because what was coming next surely was worse than what you’d already endured if he needed to hold you down more.
You sniffled through your fear but poured every ounce of brute determination into remaining calm, to keep yourself still and under some measure of composure.  You weren’t sure if he was speaking aloud or in your head, but you heard Ren praising you for how well you were doing, how beautiful and strong you were to endure this for him.
As though you had any choice in the matter.
When his lips connected with your cunt, you thought you would certainly swallow whatever the doctor was lodging into your neck.  You could feel the pressure more insistently now as he crammed or screwed or stitched whatever the fuck it was he was doing.  
Ren kissed and sucked upon your stretched labia; the sounds lewd and consuming. He plucked each stitch with his tongue, and you thought you were going to lose your mind.  You could feel every tight tug followed by the warm flat of his tongue gliding up the length of the vicious seam.
You marveled at how easily this man could conjure new tortures, how simple it was for him to corrupt something so mundane and turn it into exquisite torment.
Master of the Knights of Ren, indeed...
You cursed him again for taking away any hint of pleasure you might eke out from this whole experience.  It was barbarous and merciless to lay his mouth upon you like this and prevent you from actually feeling it, enjoying it.  It was the pinnacle of painful foreplay, and you hated him for it.  
You hated the doctor for being a party to this whole fucking thing. You hated everyone on this ship for bowing to the tantrums of a Child God, and you promised yourself you’d murder Supreme Fucking Leader Snoke himself for creating such a beast.
Ren bit into your thigh harshly at that last thought, directly into the center of the deep bruise, and your toes curled tight.  That mark certainly went down to the bone and would likely scar, little indentations from his teeth puckering more each time he revictimized the area. 
Kylo...
Sweat broke across your brow, and a feverish tremble began as your body tried to deal with the absurd number of sensations warring inside.
The doctor pushed his tray away and told you both that he would need to test the calibration before he could close the window. You blinked up at his masked face in confusion.  Test the calibration of what? How were you meant to do that, exactly?
Ren stood and you jerked at the brush of his body.  You could feel him rustling, but it was driving you mad that you couldn’t see what he was doing.  He hooked his thumbs into the very tops of your thighs and tugged the opening of your vagina just slightly wider. The stitches strained, and you whimpered, unable to contain it any longer.
Your eyes flew wide open because the sound was strange, louder, reverberating.
The swollen head of Ren’s cock nudged at your entrance, and you knew your heart was going to explode from your chest.  He’d been working you, tinkering with those fucking puppet strings, to flood your pussy and make it ready for him; and like a damn fool, you’d given him exactly what you wanted.
You burned with humiliation and ragged desire as he pushed in, breaking the seal and stretching your cunt into something pliable for his sizable dick.  It was endless, the sting and scorch of each inch, and you wanted to beg that he please just let you reach for him. It was all becoming too much, and you were disjointed, disconnected from everything.
Ren pushed and leaned into you until he was fully seated, pulsing at the very center of your body. You could feel every throb, every carnal twitch.  Ren was fucking you from both ends, his dick stuffed far into your pussy and his depraved will stuffed down deep into your neck. The very idea of it sent you into a spiral.
“Fuck, that’s tight,” he groaned, voice gravelly. “Relax, puppet. Open for me.”
Kylo, not like this...
You were truly his object, denied any relief from his harassment or any pleasure at his hand.  Digging his fingers into your hips, he began a slow, thorough stroke, pulling nearly all the way out only to plunge back down to the hilt.
“Out loud, girl.”
Your head ticked, a screaming internal alarm preventing you from shaking it outright, because you couldn’t do it; you could not obey this order.  You couldn’t even remember the sound of your own voice, and you didn’t want to mourn something you couldn’t recall. You also didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.
Fuck you...
Ren’s hips thrust harder into you, though, and you yelped. The high-pitched fabricated sound shocked you, and you trailed it with a hiccup, breath catching on the implications of this new reality.
“Lower,” Ren nodded to the doctor, who adjusted the implant in your throat.
You seethed.  He was tailoring the sound of your voice to his fucking preference, and you thought you surely would rip the damned thing out of your neck if you had your hands free. 
Dissatisfied with your reaction to his steady pace, Ren rutted into you stubbornly, fucking you with more force.  Your ire fizzled, the anger dribbling out of your cunt on a steady trickle of hot slick. He stretched you, and you moaned at the fullness of it.  You desperately wanted to arch and rock your hips against him, but you were completely paralyzed, not even given room to wiggle.
“Kylo. Fuck. Please.”
He all but purred at the modulated sound of your voice, the one he’d given you, and rewarded you with a long series of strokes so deep you saw stars.
“Lower,” he ordered, and the doctor moved to his bidding.
“Now, puppet, what’s that mantra of yours?”
Ren’s cunning was staggering.  He was demanding the only thing that had allowed you to survive him.  Your throat burned, tingling around the foreign implant, and you swallowed, trying to moisten the metal. Sniffling, you cleared your throat, focusing on the task you’d been given and not the ruthless invasion of your pussy.
Taking as deep of a breath as you could, you concentrated on making the sound as even as possible.
“In...suffering...there...is...beauty.”
“That’s right,” he praised you and then nodded to the surgeon. “That’s it.”
Having gotten what he wanted, Ren bent over you and nipped at your stomach before tucking himself back into his pants.  In moments, the doctor had your throat stitched up, a Bacta patch applied, and was giving instructions to Ren about no solid food for 24 hours, watch for infection, and apply Bacta as needed.  
He also advised that you should be silent for the next 24 hours due to inflammation but that he understood if something happened to prevent that.
You narrowed your eyes at the ceiling when he said it because of fucking course something was going to prevent that.  Curling your hands into fists again, you renewed your vow to slaughter every soul on this ship.
With the doctor gone, the Force hold you’d been kept under released, and you shot upwards to confront Ren.  This wasn’t fear or flight; this was anger and malice. 
You slammed both fists into his chest and shoved.  Pressing your lips into a hard line, you jammed your knee in between your body and his, intent upon sprinting past him and away from here, from him.
Jerking your legs back apart, he stepped in and wrapped his massive hand around your throat, burning you with his gaze and squeezing you back into muted compliance.  Satisfied you would be still, he wrapped you tight into his chest, fingers still stroking your throat.  
Shock and absolute fury coiled into the pit of your stomach, and you just sat, boiling in your hatred that he could so easily disfigure you and, then, so easily divest you of your rage.
The severity of what he’d done registered, and panicked spikes drove into your heart. You quaked anew, tears spilling, and you dug your fingers into the shirt at the small of his back.
What did you do…
“Out loud,” he pressed, voice endearing as he brushed your tears away.
Licking your lips, you stared at him for a long moment, eyes glossy.  Ren waited patiently as you gathered the fortitude to obey. Even he seemed to understand this was a lot to take in.
“What did you do?” You whispered it, the haunted voice faltering, betraying the depth of your despair.
He hummed hungry delight against your jaw.  Using the leverage he always seemed to have at your neck, Ren turned your head for you to take in the broken bits of his helmet on the tray.  In the vortex of fear and lust and terror, you’d completely forgotten it had been there at all.
“This voice,” he breathed the words out, stroking the bandage, “is mine.”
You gaped at him, eyes swiveling from the tray to his face and back.  It broke over you like lightning. He had taken the modulator from his helmet and had it implanted in your throat.
Ren dropped his head into your neck again and sucked a mark into the skin. You were too frozen to respond, your back rigid but your arms and legs hanging limp and useless.
“This body,” he said into your neck, “is mine.”
Slithering his hands between your bodies, he pushed your thighs apart wide and ran his fingers up the plump seam.  You shuddered, feeling the pulse of your sequestered clit battering against the wall that should not be there.
“This pussy,” he bit at your jaw, “is mine.”
He had succeeded in reducing you to a nameless doll, a puppet tailored exactly to his liking for his entertainment and use.  You were dazed, thunderstruck, and empty. He had put you through absolute hell today, and you weren’t capable of filtering your thoughts, now words, anymore.
You were past the point where you could even care if he punished you for insolence.
“Why did you stay with me?”
The question startled you more than the alien sound of your new voice.  You managed to look at him and concentrated on his alluring freckles. You searched his starry eyes for something to latch onto, something that would tie you here.
You had no childish thoughts of love or support.  But right now, having borne the brunt of so much of his persecution, you needed something.  
One question, though, led to more, and they began to spill from your lips on this new capability.
“Why didn’t you kill me? I was ready, and I would have gladly given you that. Why did you need to do this to me?  You were already in my head, listening.”
Your ire and emotion were rising, the mechanical undertone in your voice lifting in pitch. You blinked, really truly trying to understand the whims of a mad man. 
“What difference is there between me screaming in my head and screaming out loud? Why couldn’t you just leave me the way I was? I was surviving your punishment just fine without this unnatural, bastard tongue!”
You fisted both hands into his shirt and pounded against the chest beneath. Your lips wobbled, and you tipped your head back, furious at the tears that wouldn’t fucking stop.
You had learned to survive without a voice.  The silence you offered the universe became your salvation, your solace.  People expected nothing of you when they knew you couldn't speak, and you’d used it to strengthen yourself, to fortify your will to endure and withstand all manner of ego and abuse.
Frantic, you settled on the most important question, the one that you needed answered.
“Why did you do this to me?”
Ren captured your face in both hands and smothered your tirade with a kiss. His beautiful pink lips slanted over yours, and you melted against his mouth.  He sucked at your lower lip, licked the roof of your mouth, and slid his tongue against yours until you were breathless and squirming.
He curled your limbs around his shoulders and waist and carried you around the side of the table.  Setting you down, he plucked the scalpel from the tray, his hands disappearing between your legs. You whimpered and scooted backwards, but he hooked a hand beneath your knee and pulled you back into place.
“I did this,” he cut one of the sutures, “to focus your attention away from the procedure."
“Is that not…” he nipped at your pulse, “...merciful?”
He made quick work of the remaining sutures, slicing through them and pulling the remnants away. You whined, head lolling, as your freed labia parted, blood beginning to redistribute to the abused skin and shooting pins and needles into your cunt.  He followed the sharp stings with his thumb, rubbing between the swollen folds until you gasped and tipped your pelvis into his touch.
Tugging you against his body, Ren ground his erection between your tender lips.  You moaned low, the sound warbled, wanton, and needy, and he captured it with a deep kiss, swallowing on a growl.
He tore at his own clothes, freed his swollen cock, and pushed inside of you, not bothering to be gentle. Your eyebrows drew together tight at the invasion, the time between the first fucking and this one having been enough for your body to re-acclimate to his absence.  
Sinking your teeth into your lip, you lifted your hips to his assault because the utter completion you felt was too good to resist.
“And I did..fuck…,” he faltered, bottoming out into your tight heat; “...I did this,” he dipped his face down and licked the bandage, the only truly new scar he’d ever given you; “...so that you would remember,” his breath was broken now, his voice ragged with lust; “...that every sound you make belongs to me.”
You held tightly to his back, hugging his sides with your legs, and trying your damnedest to stay here in this moment.  The second adrenaline crash of the day threatened to consume you, but you fought against it because the man who’d teased you for a week had his dick so far inside you that you thought you could taste it. 
You were desperate for this bliss, whining in raw need, and you shuddered when he rocked your body against his in the manner and tempo he liked, large fingers splayed across your ass and moving you to his pleasure. Your tortured cunt clenched and all but sucked his dick in deep.   
You cried out, feeling the lines between you as a person and you as Ren’s personal fucktoy bleed together.  Your whole body contracted, squeezing him hard and coming absolutely alive under his thumb. You clung to his back like he was your own personal savior.
Stretching long fingers around your neck, Ren lifted your face and forced you to look, always wanting to watch you agonize for him.  The now-familiar warm sensation blossomed at your clit, and your eyes fluttered shut on a loud moan. He shook you until your eyes opened again, demanding your stare.
“You’re no victim," he sneered.
He punched himself so far into your cunt that you felt the nudge at your cervix and erupted into an echoing shriek. The Force engulfed your clit, every single one of the thousands of nerves swarmed by the hot vibration and spreading a delicious jolt up through your abdomen.
“You’re a depraved, filthy thing,” he dug his nails into your jaw, “and your body was made for me.”
You couldn’t look away, couldn’t shake your head or disagree.  Accepting that hard truth on your behalf, your pussy flooded him with a new surge of molten slip, and he growled possessively.  He licked at your mouth and squeezed your neck tighter. The pressure arched you into his chest and set your cunt to clutching feverishly.
“See? Not happy unless you’re being hurt.”
Pressing into the veins below your jaw, he stunted the flow of blood to your brain, sending you into floating oblivion.  You convulsed against him, the jerk of your body trying to fight off unconsciousness drawing a hungry moan from your captor.  The suction at your clit intensified, and you begged, lips working on impotent words, breath choppy, and fingers clamoring and raking against his biceps.
You were nothing but a vibrating mess, well-fucked and wholly obliterated by his embrace as he choked and ravaged your body. The stab of his dick was relentless, and you were very nearly gone, your eyes glazing over, eyelids heavy. 
“Cum for me, puppet. Show me how much you like it."
He dipped his mouth to your ear, voice commanding, dripping with derision and desire.  Shifting his fingers, he allowed blood to rush back into your dizzy head, and you gasped hard.  Married with the hot pressure at your clit and the pistoning of his cock, you seized in deference to his order.
Your entire body shrunk into a tight ball against him, knees drawing up high, ankles hugging at his back.  Your fingers and toes curled, your legs and arms shook, and your abdomen and ass clenched hard and tight. 
The orgasm blew through you like a comet, and everything loosened on a series of soul-shattering quakes.
You shouted and wailed, the altered, digital howl sounding almost like it truly belonged to you.  Your cunt spasmed, alternating between trying to push Ren’s invading cock out and trying to draw it further and further in.
You were drowning in euphoria, endorphins, and emotions, and you had no protection, no wall with which to keep everything at bay.  Every single thing Ren had done, was doing, roiled through you and radiated off of your body dangerously, and he was caught in the blast zone.
“Fuck..fuck..FUCK!”
His hands dug caverns into the meat of your ass, fingernails leaving crescent trenches. He bit into the side of your neck, buried himself as far into you as he could, and emptied his cock into the flood you were offering him.
Three more thrusts pushed his seed in deep, and he moaned, low and liquid, into your skin while bucking through his orgasm.  You were barely clinging to consciousness, weak and overwhelmed by the events of the afternoon, the day, the week.
For the third time today, Ren held you, stroking your back until your mind came back to your body.  When you lifted your head, he leaned back, taking in your mottled cheeks, swollen mouth, and glassy eyes.  
“Open.”
He lifted his hand to your mouth and purred when it opened for him naturally.  He hooked his thumb into your teeth, just the way you liked, and you shifted against him, leaking all manner of bodily fluids onto the table.
You hadn't hesitated at all, too sated to bristle that it was beneath you or too eager for whatever demeaning paradise he was willing to offer.  
He held your jaw right there, thumb playing with the inside of your teeth.  He was looking at you as though he was ready to bathe in your blood again, and you weren’t sure that you wouldn’t let him. His eyes were dark and nefarious and hypnotic.
What he did next was so unexpectedly obscene that you choked.  He tilted your head back and spat into your mouth, watching his saliva pool on your tongue.
Your body’s reaction was immediate, suffused with want and something you might later identify as pride. Your fingers tightened into his shirt, and your chest arched up into him. You let loose a low sound that even you didn’t even recognize, and your hips rocked beseechingly against him.
“You belong to me,” he said, watching the bubbles slide down your throat. “This is the last time I'll explain myself to you."
He allowed you to close your mouth, and you stared at him, awed and searching.  Before you could second guess yourself, you curled his trembling fingers around your throat, swallowing beneath the grip.
If this was the closest you would ever get to an intimate gesture, you needed it now more than you needed oxygen.
Satisfied for the moment, Ren squeezed your neck and rubbed his nose against yours. 
Too soon, the moment ended, and Ren grasped your hips and lifted you off of his dick with a low groan.  You watched openly as he tucked himself away and righted his clothing. You flushed, pleased at the idea that he was going to spend the rest of today with your cunt lingering on his dick.
You blinked at the thought, troubled at the ease with which you joined him in such vulgarity.
Your reverie was interrupted by a slender man in all black walking into the room uninvited and unannounced.  Ren’s head shot up on a snarl, and he reached out to wind that unfortunate soul into the Force and lift him off of his feet.  
You tiredly glanced over at Ren’s newest victim, surprised by his bright red hair. Knowing better than to interfere, you simply looked from Ren to this intruder, wondering how long it would be before one of them spoke.
“The...Supreme...Leader...demands...your………………...presence!”
Ren released his hold, and the uniformed man hit the ground with a crash, scrambling back out into the hallway.  Bending down, he scooped up your black pants and handed them to you. 
Ren's gaze hardened considerably, and you were amazed at how dark became void in his eyes. Reaching back to the tray, he grabbed the scalpel, broke off the blade, and lifted it to your mouth.
“If he tries to hurt you or move you,” his voice was dangerously low, and your eyes flitted around his arm to the door, “get away. Find the Knights of Ren.”
The questions played across your face, and your brow knit. Were you in danger?  Why were you in danger? You leaned forward, meaning to ask, but he shook his head, instructing you back to silence.  You sat up straighter, concerned and more alert.
“That voice is for me, only.”
Understanding, you parted your lips and accepted the weapon, moving it with your tongue and tucking it into the roof of your mouth.  Ren's battle face changed for just a second, his beautiful lips turning up into a smirk, knowing full well this wasn’t the first time you’d had to hide a blade.
You accepted that he would push you until you broke for him, over and over, but it satisfied you to no end that he wasn’t prepared to allow anyone else to harm you.  That pleasure was afforded to him alone in the Galaxy.  
“Hux!” He barked it out, and the man, who was still rubbing his tender throat, turned into the room to look.
“You will personally deliver her back to my chambers.”
Ren didn’t waste time asking if the man understood his instructions.  He would be obeyed, or someone would die. In seconds, he had collected the remnants of his helmet and was gone from the room.  
You sagged, feeling like the universe was somehow less bright without the scorch of his presence. Stuffing your aching, wobbly legs into the black linen, you cautiously descended from the surgical table and righted the material over your hips.  
Turning, you faced your new escort, whose name was apparently Hux, and gestured for him to lead on.
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