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#i did this off the cuff so i wouldn't overthink it
jlf23tumble · 2 years
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okay, cobra kai selling sunset au: who's who?
i have some opinions but i'd like to hear yours
Omg, I need your opinions--I NEED THEM! I've been obsessed with this ask since you sent it last night, and I'm the worst, because I need to rewatch the earlier seasons of Selling Sunset, so my answers are gonna be most relevant to the latest season, but here's my match up! Without pictures, only because I will want to find the perfect ones, and I won't, ugh.
Christine = Kreese (THE ONLY MATCH UP I AM 100% CERTAIN OF)
Chelsea = Silver (the pairing of these two x these two, here for it)
Jason = Johnny (himbo city, party of two)
Brett = Daniel (same??)
Maya = Robby (not always there, seems pretty capable)
Mary = Amanda (boss bitches, i love you!)
Tina = Miguel (fun people you wanna hang with)
Chrishell = Sam (sweethearts who will cut you)
Heather = Demetri (they have their strengths, I guess?)
Davina = Tory (misunderstood villain arcs)
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kanesthirstblog · 3 years
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NSFW ALPHABET: ABE HARUAKI
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Requires lots of aftercare but also wants to take care of you. Very clingly, like, will latch onto you and cuddle you for the rest of the night clingy. You should probably give him some reassurance or comfort, he seems like the type to stress about whether or not he was any good to you once the fun is over.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Hmmm... Totally the sappy kinda guy who tells you he loves all of your body and thinks it's beautiful and 100% means every praise he sings you about it. He loves everything about you from your soft hair to the tips of your toes.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
God. Just imagining him sprawled out on any surface with an exhausted yet dopey look in his eyes, covered in his own cum (and/or yours of course!) after a few rounds of sex really makes me feel satisfied. Really can't explain this one
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Secretly a bit of a masochist but also scared of being hurt so he never asks even if he really wants to.
Also secretly owns a couple erotic novels he used as "research" when you first brought up wanting a sexual relationship. Since you are his first, he would want to see how he's supposed to act in that scenenrio so he could please you properly. (But damn was he shocked when you wanted to be the dominant one. That wasn't in his books.) Haruaki learns the importance of communication that day.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Dudes a canon virgin y'all. This also excites me.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Secretly loves it when he's on his back so he can see your face as you ride him or peg him. He just thinks you're the prettiest person he's evermet and loves watching you even as you tease or toy with him.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He's a sappy guy. Would probably look at you like a puppy who sees someone they really love. Besides that he's have that dopey look like he's never been happier than he is in that moment, smiling up at you.
Once you've had sex a couple times he might start opening up more, cracking jokes and asking shy requests from you.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Yup. Makes sure he's nice and clean especially
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He really tries hard to be romantic but he has 0 experience in this area and often fumbles his way through it by trying to be sweet and make you feel good. Very bad at saying romantic things and would probably give up after a bit before he dies from embarassment.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Tbh I actually think he'd barely masturbate if he did at all. This is partly because I actually have an asexual headcanon for him and partly cause in canon he seems really put off by sexual things if not being outright afraid of them.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Contrary to some of the fandom headcanons, I don't really imagine the sailor uniform thing as a kink. It just seems like a typical fixation or something that gets played up for laughs to a strange degree. But maybe thats my ADHD dumbass brain projecting my ADHD onto a fave. (Off topic but him knowing everything about sailor uniforms, from design to creation, being able to make them himself, getting happy any time he sees one, ect. Are headcanons I have because his weird fixation with them reminds me of my fixation on rocks, mushrooms, and jewelry.)
HOWEVER
Praise kink. Body worship. He'd love to be pet gently while you tell him how pretty he is. How you love his soft hair or his long legs or slender form as you lightly trail you fingertips down his body or card fingers through his hair. And he would do the same for you too.
Might at least try pegging, and then realizes he actually likes it when you hold him down and pound his ass.
Would be too embarrassed and a bit scared to bring this up but actually likes the idea being treated roughly. If you could pull at his hair and bite him even a little bit he'd practically melt in your hands.
Might try bondage if it's light. Soft hand cuffs or silk ropes are the way to go.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
At home. Anywhere is fine as long as its at home
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
The fastest way is probably being physical with him or just stripping for him. He gets embarassed and tries to hide but you know he's aroused, you can feel it when you sit on his lap.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He'd probably not be okay with having more than one partner. You might frighten him if he starts feeling like you guys are ganging up on him.
Public/semi-public sex is a no go. Especially since he is a teacher, he wouldn't risk his job on the off chance you both get caught.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
I think he actually might no be very into oral at first. But will give or recieve though you may have to hear some complaint about it being kind of unsanitary or something. He's also kinda bad a giving oral but what did you expect? He's a virgin.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Personally prefers the slow and sensual kinda sex but you set the pace regardless so ultimately it's up to you. He won't be turned into a stuttering mess right away if you guys take it slow.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Alright with it as long as it stays private. You'll be the only one asking for these but try to get him in the morning before he leaves for work so you can corner him against a counter. Its best when his back is turned so you can grab his hair and lick along his throat, nipping here and there. He'd shiver in your arms as you trail a hand down to undo his pants
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
As long as it isn't a risk to him (would probably be too scared to try knifeplay) or job (no public/semi-public sex) you could probably talk him into it.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Hmmm... Depends I guess. I feel like he might only be active for a round or maybe 2 before he starts slowing down. You could still pound the guy into the mattress but he'll have those half lidded doe eyes cloudy with exhaustion. He'd wrap his arms around you loosely as if you'll help ground him to the waking world and try to hold you closer to him.
At that point you should definitely ask a few times before you start another round to make sure he's okay and reassure him that it's alright to stop now. Strikes me as someone who could easily fall into a place where he'd hide his desire to stop just so you can use him for your own fun since it makes you happy. That could be kinda bad for his mental health.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
You'd be the one with all the toys tbh. But you can sure as hell use them on him.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He's not much of a tease but if he's feeling playful, he might play up the innocent look of his. He really is a pretty innocent guy actually, but he knows you love that sweet look he's got to him and he will use it on you.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
So damn loud. This guy would moan and beg loudly, scream your name and plead for mercy, for relief as you all but eat him alive. Might even cry and whine and beg. Oh, but he tries to be quiet so he doesn't risk disturbing anyone. He'd purse his lips and turn away from you while you play with his body in an attempt to stay quiet but he always gives in quickly. It's easy to turn this guy into a whimpering, begging mess no matter how many times you do this.
You'll know when he's tired because he will be unable to make much noise besides low pants and gasps. Probably best to wrap things up at that point before ya fuck him unconcious.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
I have a few actually.
-Has a hard time saying no to you. He's a bit cowardly and overthinks and he would be afraid to lose a first relationship. This is potentially hazardous to his mental health because he might say "yes" to something he doesn't want for fear of losing you. Consent is important though so even if it's difficult at first, keep checking to make sure he's alright.
-I actually headcanon him as a sex indifferent asexual. He can 100% live with sex or without it. Doesn't matter to him, though he's terrified of trying it for the first time.
-The first time you tried to get him in bed, you pinned him to a wall and he was terrified because he thought you were trying to shake him down or harass him. (Well, the latter part was true but not the way he expected.) And then you kissed him and he straight up broke, wrapped himself in blankets and hid under the futon for the rest of the day. Disappointing? Sure, but damn was it cute.
-I'm actually caught up on how he would take to dirty talk tbh since a lot of it I've seen or heard involves some form or another of calling your partner a slut or whatever. Seems to be popular. On one hand if he's secretly a masochist, he might be into it. But on the other, he also seems like he might take anything you say to him to heart and beat himself up over it and would ultimately not like it. Also probably would not be comfortable if he did the dirty talking and assuming he manages to make it through the night without apologizing to you for everything he says, then you'll hear it when you finish.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Mandragora patterned briefs. You cannot change my mind on this one.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Not very, so he's pretty chill about it.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Depends on how much you exhausted him but it usually doesn't take that long.
Bonus:
Some more cute Haruaki.
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sergeant-spoons · 3 years
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Omg I love ask games so much 😍 OK so I'm 5'5 and have blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm generally quite a chill person like I prefer staying home and watching movies or reading a book but when I go out I go out like I love to party and dance all night (I'm a bit of a lightweight tbh I get drunk quite quickly 😅). I've got a good sense of humour and will literally laugh at even the most stupid jokes or puns and once I start laughing I end up wheezing.
I'm a complete overthinker like I will literally overthink even the smallest things. I also get so obsessed with things so easily and tend to hyperfixate. I'm usually pretty calm and don't like conflict but when I do lose my temper I kind of explode. I'm also really affectionate and love hugs although I also like time to myself too.
I'm ngl I'm excited to see who you come up with 😆
Thank you for sending this in! You're my first requester for this little game. 🥰
I ship you with... Alex Penkala!
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You met at a bar when he went out with his Easy buddies on a rare weekend pass.
You were partying it up and he spotted you the minute he walks through the door.
Skip and Malarkey wouldn't stop teasing him about how his attention kept returning to you no matter how he tried to help it.
He normally wouldn't be that shy, but there was something about you that made his bravery waver.
He eventually did end up going over to introduce himself to you and when you got to talking, he became more and more smitten with every little thing he learned about you.
When he messed up telling a joke, you got him to try again, and when he said it right, you still laughed. And then he started chuckling, and you fed off of each other for a good minute or so before you caught your breaths.
That was the moment he knew he wanted to see you again after that night (every day, if that were possible).
He's learned quickly how to spot your moments of uncertainty when you're overthinking something. If you ask for his advice, he will gladly give it; if not, he'll still be there for emotional support (and hugs).
He thinks you're the best hugger ever and you avidly believe the same of him.
Once you had a rough day and when you went to pick up Alex from the army base he was currently stationed at, his CO was snapping at him for folding his sleeve cuffs 'improperly'.
You were so done with everything and this was the last straw.
You gave that man what-for, finger-wagging and eloquent and on fire.
Meanwhile, Alex was watching in total awe.
He might have proposed on the spot if you hadn't dragged him off in a huff as Sobel stewed.
(Also, you two hadn't discussed marriage by that time and he wasn't sure if that was something you were interested in.)
You were planning on going out on the town but you just didn't feel like it so you and Alex stayed in at your place and cuddled and read together and it was really nice.
You've made nights like those routine for your dates because you both enjoy it so much. Good company, good literature, good drinks (if you're feeling like it). There's no place Alex would rather be than relaxing with you after a long day of training, which is something he tells you a lot.
One time you hyperfixated on an initially short-lived task and it was only when Alex came knocking on your door that you realized hours had passed and you were late to your date.
You apologized but he saw what you were doing and helped you finish it instead of going out.
Lots of cuddles and hugs. Like loooots. You're a pretty physically affectionate couple, though much more so at home than in public.
More often than not, he has his arm around you, is holding your hand, or is touching you in some capacity when you're out in a public space
He's always like that at the bar- he wants people to know you're together (he says you're 'together' rather than 'his' because he admires your independence and also believes a healthy relationship is a two-way street).
Alex loves your eyes. His gaze gets caught on yours so often that you've grown used to it by now.
He also likes to kiss your eyelids when you're falling asleep or are tired or he's just feeling extra affectionate.
The first time you got drunk when you two were together, he went into protective/caring overdrive for the rest of the night and the next day.
This man knows exactly how to deal with a hangover and you consider it to be half a miracle and half witchcraft.
You're both very good with boundaries and such, particularly with pet names. If he calls you by something you don't like, all you have to do is mention it and he'll never say it again. The same goes for you calling him something.
There is not a day that goes by without Skip and/or Malarkey teasing you and/or Alex about how they simply must be the flower boys at your wedding.
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