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bananaflavoredlemonade · 3 years

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Can someone please take THIS Maura and THIS Jane and continue THIS AU I started work on and cannot for the life of me manage to find the time nor energy to work on.

RIZZLES COLLEGE AU

She was an enigma, this mystery woman. You’d probably seen her a dozen times before you even spoke a single word to each other. She was always just around. You’d spot her leaning casually against the side of an old black Jeep Wrangler, jeans hanging low on her hips and ill-fitting Red Sox t-shirt slung over her frame. She’d wizz past you as she chased a frisbee across the quad, or pause her rush out of doors to silently hold them open for you before fleeing back off. Her laugh would catch you mid-bite of your salad and without fail every time you’d spin to find her cackling with her mouth wide and half chewed food balancing precariously on her white teeth. For reasons you could not explain, you were obsessed. When her air freshener caught your eye, you’d gone home and spent hours scouring specialty air freshener companies to figure out who the man was who’s head was lucky enough to grace her presence. Someone named Jim Halpert was quite the lucky gentleman. And maybe if knowing exactly what her car smelt like before you got anywhere near it filled you with butterflies and warmth well… who could blame you.

She pulls into her typical parking space and waves enthusiastically at a beautiful young man with deliciously creamy chocolate skin and your heart stalled into a palpitation. Watching her tug on a t-shirt over her bikini top and taut abs certainly didn’t help. But when she climbed from the topless car in the sweltering summer heat and clapped a hand on his shoulder blade in a friendly greeting, you caught your breath and heaved a small sigh of relief. Maybe becoming enamoured with a complete stranger was not the best decision.

You’re staring down at your phone, speed walking across the quad to get to your next class when heavy footfalls start landing beside you. Black Nike slides are beside your birkenstocks as they pass over the grass you’re crossing and you immediately question the motivations of whomever would choose to wear white tube socks with a sandal-style shoe. That is until the culprit speaks and you realise that you absolutely should’ve picked it sooner.

“Maura Isles” the gravelly voice speaks as a hand casually comes to your lower back and averts you from becoming roadkill under the size 13’s of some speedy and oblivious jock running across your path. “You’re quite the hazard. With your head down all the time, or staring off into space. One of these days someone is going to wipe you out and I’ll have to take out a douche in a jersey, then we’ll have trouble.”

Her eyes are such a deep brown that you’re unsurprised you’ve been unable to make out her eye colour from afar. “You know my name.” it’s a ridiculous statement to make, but instead of judging you she simply laughs with her head thrown back and hand still burning a hole into your lower back.

You’re almost at the study hall that you’ll be trapped in for the next hour and for once you aren’t looking forward to class. “Of course I do.” You quirk your brow at her, because you’re almost certain you’ve never interacted with any of the people you’ve seen her around, she’s definitely not in any of your classes, and this is the first time you’ve spoken. “It’s on your phone case.”

In your palm, you flip over your leather encased phone to survey the back where – as you already know – ‘M. Isles’ is imprinted in silver. “Ah, yes.”

“I usually only see those with initials. But then again; I’m no phone expert. Mine are typically held together by duct tape and desperation.”

Your eye roll is instantaneous and unavoidable as you helpfully relay to her, “My mother. She insists that I ‘take pride’ in my name. So when I requested a personalised phone case with my initials on it and opened this, I was truly unsurprised.” You pause to laugh “displeased, but unsurprised.”

Her feet stop suddenly as you reach the lecture hall and her calloused hands disappear into the pockets of her short black shorts, fingers outlined within her pockets as the tips force the inners of the pockets from the bottoms of her shorts. “Well, this is you.” You look up and it is. You open your mouth to ask how she knew, but she’s already speaking. “It was nice speaking to you, Maura Isles.” It’s absolutely salacious the way that your name rolls off of her tongue and for the first time possibly ever, you’re pleased to hear someone use your full name.

Only, you’ve just realised that you’re unsure how she knows your first name. By the time you get around to asking, she’s already backing away with you with a smirk on her face. “Hold on! How did you know my name is Maura? That’s not written anywhere.”

Her singular stride back towards you is so deliciously long and your eyes are helpless against the tantalising display of thigh muscle on display when she leans towards you to whisper “You have quite the intriguing Tinder profile. I put two and two together.” Closely resembling a fish out of water, you watch as she chuckles and backs away with a wink. “Have fun in Bio.”

“What’s your name?” You call after her much louder than is necessary. She says absolutely nothing as she raises her hand in the air above her head so that you can see if over her shoulder and makes a repeated swiping motion, her thumb moving to the right repeatedly before slipping back into the pocket of her shorts.

And if you spend your entire class with your head down and eyes intently focused on the app you’ve left untouched for months, swiping left for the next 37.5 minutes until a tanned and angled face with sparking eyes is looking at you from your screen over aviator sunglasses; well you’ve never been known to back down from a challenge. “Jane” you say aloud before closing the app on a photo of her chiselled abs and bulging biceps straining against the weight above her head.

Two days later you pass her once again leaning against her jeep in the ridiculous socks and slides combo that makes you smile despite the fashion atrocity that’s being committed. You’re not close enough to speak, and even if you were, you’re unsure you’d be able to stop the beautiful black boy in his monologue long enough to get a word in. But her eyes are on you below the sunglasses she placed on her head as you began to approach. When you quirk a smile and silently mouth “Hello Jane” you know that she’s caught your greeting. And as a smile takes over her face, you raise your phone between you and swipe left on her profile. “Work for it” you mouth with a wink.

It’s worked. Her mouth drops open, pupils and eyes blowing wide. You can feel them trailing after your swaying hips and short shorts, and the burn they leave on your ass is delicious. Game on.

It’s over a week before there is any indication that Jane is going to meet your challenge with anything more than a heated look and tantalising lip bite from across the quad. However hope is struck every day that you spot her loitering around the college grounds, and that’s just enough to keep you from giving up. You’re walking out of your Tuesday morning chemistry lecture when she sweeps in next to you.

There’s a single yellow sunflower in between the fingers of her left hand and her right comes to rest hotly against your lower back. She’s dressed unseasonably warm in a white button-up and black jeans that are folded up at the ankles and skimming the top of brown leather boots. It makes you feel inferior in your simple sundress and standard birkenstocks. “For you.” She smiles, holding the sunflower in front of you. The nervousness in her eyes sets off butterflies in your stomach.

“Thank you, it’s beautiful.” Her nervous energy shifts to confidence as you sniff the flower and hold it close to your shy smile. “What’s the occasion? It feels like such a privilege to see you in something other than jock couture.”

“Jock couture?” she snickers. “What exactly is jock couture?”

You look her up and down appraisingly with a cheeky raised eyebrow before muttering “Socks and slides” disapprovingly with a nod towards her feet “running shorts, oversized shirts, baseball caps.” She laughs at you with her head thrown back and her perfect white teeth on show. “I would make the assumption that if we were to open your closet, you’d be able to dress the entirety of the football and baseball teams with its contents and not have anyone question it.”

“I don’t know, I don’t think Frost would look nearly as good as me in my shorts.” Your eyes shift to the parking lot where unsurprisingly your eyes clap onto the beautiful African-American man you’ve seen Jane talking with previously. “Now can we please stop slamming me for how I have been dressed, and appreciate the effort I put in today?” Your eyes run over her form again and you do have to agree that she looks great. “I’m sweating my ass off to try and look half decent.”

You stop her in the middle of the footpath and turn to look at her approvingly. The hand on your back slips off and comes to rest in her pocket as she watches you looking her up and down. “You do look very handsome.” Her approving smile has you nervously shifting your bag up your shoulder and you have to shake your head to dislodge the smitten look on your face. “Now why are you looking so dashing?”

“You’ll see” she winks as she spins you back into motion and suddenly you’re striding back down the footpath towards the restricted Phelman quad that sits to the side of the western lecture halls, and at the base of the Phelman dorms. You’re about to comment that the area is only accessible to tenants of the dorms when she tugs the Red Sox lanyard from her pocket, swipes a fob against the gates keypad and pushes against the ornate entrance. She guides you in and gestures to a picnic blanket set up in the centre of the grassed area. “Everyone’s gotta eat.”

You’re too busy standing in awe of her to follow over to the blanket. However, your eyes track her over to the set up and watch as she rests down on the mat, pulling out containers and drinks from a cooler. She sets down a tray of assorted sushi, a bowl of salad, a packet of your favourite lentil chips, and a tub of homemade guacamole. It all looks delicious and your mouth salivates so aggressively that you doubt you’ll need the soda water or iced tea she’s brought to wash down your meal. “How?” you mutter in disbelief, and it shocks you when Jane smiles up at you charmingly. You were sure she’d not’ve been able to hear you.

“I.. um…” She rubs the back of her neck nervously and you finally see another side to the cocky seductress you’d spent weeks surveying. “I guessed at most of it, but I saw you eating these chips the other day while you read under that big oak by Mossman Hall, and I’ve seen you pick this iced tea from the vending machine before. So I figured they were both a safe bet.” She shifts the tray of sushi out of the way and pulls a wireless speaker from the cooler to put in its place. “I got some vegetarian options if you don’t eat meat, but honestly I don’t know a twenty year old who doesn’t like sushi so..”

Her hands are shifting so nervously over the picnic rug that you feel the need to take pity on her. “Are you making a generalisation Jane?” Her eyes trail you as you hike up your skirt in anticipation of sitting down next to her, and as your fingers skim the tops of your thighs as you lower, you see her breath catch.

Her eyes are on your face as you reach for the container of guac and inspect the flecks of coriander, onion, and chilli that you can see mixed amongst the avocado. “Yeah I guess I was.” You laugh at her and peer up from under your eyelashes. “But it took me a week to figure out the chips and tea, so if you wanted I could go away and come back in a month with a more personalised menu.” She jokingly pushes up from her seated position and you tug her back to the rug with a laugh.

You’re typically hesitant to use colloquialisms or any term that had to be inducted into the Urban Dictionarybefore it could be submitted to Websters, but you know from observing Jane that they’re all frequent participants in her vocabulary, so you resolve to at least try. Starting by venturing with the statement, “Well I guess then that you could call me a ‘typical white girl’, because I am quite fond of Sushi. Though I would prefer traditional Nigiri, I’ve been known to consume a westernised sushi roll in between classes.”

Jane looks as if she is about to choke on the air trapped between her cheeks and you know that the laugh will be explosive when it’s released. “Did that sound as ridiculous as it felt to say?” She nods at you and releases the laugh through her teeth. You laugh along with her and rub your forehead, “Colloquialisms and I are not exactly what you would call well acquainted.”

“You’re just not at all what I would call a ‘basic white girl’ is all.” You blush and reach for your sunglasses inside your handbag, hoping to provide yourself with an escape from both the sun and her stare. “You’re unique, Maur. Don’t ever take that for granted.” You clasp eyes with her before you can secure the Ray Bans across your eyes and the look you share is intense. She’s burning into something so much deeper than your eyes, and you don’t know how to appropriately characterise it without venturing into a belief system that you’ve never before given an ounce of credit. Eventually you both slip from the visual embrace and as you raise the glasses into place, she presses play on the speaker, softly releasing the first bars of Surprise Yourself by Jack Garratt. You’d be flawed by the immediate similarities in your music taste if it weren’t for your brain already stalling at how beautiful she looks tipping her face towards the sunshine. Maybe ‘Handsome’ wasn’t quite as apt a descriptor as you’d thought at the time. With the sunshine on her high cheekbones and rays kissing at her exposed chest beyond the opened buttons of her shirt, she is decidedly striking in a uniquely feminine way that you’d not considered moments ago.

You’d spent some time talking idly about your families – jane has two younger brothers and her mother, her father has been absent for the past few years -, the weather, and your classes that are scheduled for the remainder of the day. Jane tells you about the boutique florist just off campus that she’d visited for your flower and promises to take you sometime when you fail to hide your delight at the news of a new local source for your botany habit. You’ve worked your way through a good portion of Jane’s playlist and its as Falling Down by This Wild Life begins lilting through the speakers that you realise that for the first time in what feels like forever, you’re not uncomfortable with another human being. You slip your feet out of your birks and tuck your legs up under you, sipping at the soda water in your faux flute while you watch Jane swipe a napkin across her plump lower lip. It’s infuriatingly seductive for such an unconscious action. A sigh of contentment runs through you and you shift again to stretch your legs out, flexing your toes into the points that years of ballet had made commonplace. Jane watches the action and you rest back on your elbows, body fully extended and at ease. “What just happened here?” she queries, motioning to your body.

You sigh and tilt your hear towards the sky, “Whatever do you mean?”

“This” she says, eyes raking over your form, “Something just happened with you.”

“I guess I’m just comfortable” you say to the sky, lips parting in a relaxed smile. “humans are.. they’re not an area I excel in.”

Her boot taps the bottom of your foot and she giggles. “Arent you pre-med? I hate to break it to you, but you’ll need to deal with one or two of ‘em after you graduate.”

You smile in her direction in the same relaxed way you had been earlier, “I’m studying to be a pathologist. I know that I’d be a disadvantage to the medical community if I were to work with live patients. My social skills are questionable at best, completely inept at worst. I’m incompatible with most personality types, and my lack of understanding around social queues and societal norms makes me somewhat unappealing to most people.” You meet her eyes when you say the next part, “So to realise that in this moment I’m at ease..” you trail off into a sweet sigh, “it’s so lovely.”

“I’m glad I could do that for you.”

“So tell me about you Jane” you say from your reclined position, eyes closing against the warmth of the sun. “I know so little about you, apart from your family, your evident love of the Red Sox, and the fact that you watch The Office.”

Jane laughs into the air, “How do you know I watch The Office?”

“Your air freshener. It is Jim Halpert from The Office, right?” She gives you a disbelieving look. “I googled it.”

Her smile is infectious and you can feel it projecting into the side of your face from where she sits across from you. “You would be correct Doctor Isles.” She boosts her body up into a more prone position and leans towards you. “Where to start..”

You speak up from your position, “Should we start with what you’re doing on campus? I assume you don’t study here. I’ve never seen you in a class, you never have any books, and you always seem to be the centre of whatever social gathering is happening in the parking lot.” She gives you a comical glare and you challenge her with a quirked brow, “Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re not wrong.” You exchange a smile and your face returns to the sky. “A lot of my buddies go here. Frost who you would’ve seen, Riley, Joey, and a couple of the guys from my baseball league. Between their classes and my work schedule it’s easier for us to just catch up here. I get out of my shitty little apartment, and they don’t have to travel off campus.”

“Work” you offer helpfully.

“I’m a security guard. I mostly work nights at private events for the upper crust crowd. My boss, Korsak, he’s an ex cop, teaches me things on the go so that I can be prepared when I finally get around to enrolling in the academy.”

You smile to yourself, truly unsurprised by this revelation. “When are you planning to apply?”

Jane is reaching for the leftover lentil chips from your lunch when she answers you, “Most likely in the winter. I didn’t wanna just leap right in. I wanted to be prepared, ya’know.” She puts a couple of chips in her mouth and speaks while she chews. A truly repulsive habit that you have to keep your eyes closed against. “Work on my form, get all my ducks lined up, prepare my Ma. She’s gonna have a real hard time accepting that I’m signing up to chase criminals and murderers every day. Plus I wanted to take the time to really get myself mentally prepared; Korsak talks all the time about Cadets and Rookies who join the academy all gung-ho and then drop out when they cant hack the pace. The way he tells it, they all crap out because of the mental strain.” Jane eats a whole handful of chips in one mouthful and continues to speak as crumbs fall from her lips, “We all oviuzlee in peak pisikal fom wen we sign up. Couple-a push ups aren’t taking this down.” She slaps a hand against her stomach that echoes hollowly the way that only a perfectly-toned abdomen would. Crumbs dislodging from her shirt.

“Speaking with your mouth full is a truly repulsive habit.” You tilt your head in her direction and look over your sunglasses at her.

“So sorry Mrs Manners.”

Your face tilts back up to the sun when you respond, “That’s an admirable career choice Jane. When did you decide you wanted to work in law enforcement?”

#Rizzles #Rizzoli and Isles #Jane Rizzoli #Maura Isles #modern day college au #Rizzles AU #Rizzoli & Isles #please lord someone write this #it could be soooo cute #Fanfiction #Fanfic #Prompt #unfinished work #hipster jane #boho maura

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themutewatcher-blog · 7 years

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Internal Affairs, and International Relations: On Remembering Budapest

The plane flew smoothly if you didn't pay too much attention. I was sitting between two men, and like myself they were not slight of frame. The three of us were shoulder to shoulder like one dreary wall of meat. Occasionally part of the meat bricks would shift a bit and those adjacent would settle accordingly. Chain reaction. There was no resentment over the move, no bother, just a slight sigh that was a near annoyance with being awoken from the trance of over-oxygenated air and bad movies, and part relief that we had an excuse to bring a little lifeblood into our heavy limbs. I watched a few of those bad movies on my way from Chicago to Budapest, but mostly I just stared at the pictures and let my mind drift away- out the window a few seats to my right where nothing else lay but water and the giant open blackness of the midnight Atlantic. I thought of Her, then. There were so many hers. I thought of the petite little Beauty who got away; she had golden eyes, silky hair, and caramel skin that seemed to bask in it's own light. Those soft lips, so full and so gentle, used to be the only thing that could soothe me when I felt the beast inside me start to stir. She had such a kind wealth to her. She had this laugh, it caressed my ears and used to bring a smile to me even when my heart felt black and icy- as frigid as the seas outside the window. I don't know if I ever told her that in those words. I think I tried, but sometimes you can never fully understand the incredible worth of a single moment until it becomes a memory. I told her once, as we lay there on the beach, that she was it for me. I told her that no matter what happened that I would love her until I was dead, and if some part of me carried on thereafter it would carry on with the sweetest moments we ever shared therein. I said a lot of things as a young man. It's been years since we laid there on the sand. Its been the return of an engagement ring since then. It's been other relationships and countless other women, but when the plane isn't quite still and the seas look so black and so cold, it's still her that my mind seeks for warmth. She made me hope for a brief time that the beast inside me was just a little darkness, an innocent shadow behind the Christmas lights that shine through pine needles casting me patterns around a room; or the seductive darkness of a bedroom that dances with candlelight to cast shimmering black on golden skin. It wasn't though. It was none of those types of darkness. It was a consuming, hungry, vile dark that consumed everything. It was a foul carcass left to rot underwater in a black cove forgotten by all good things in this world; it was spawned of hate, and fear, and suffering. It was sad more than anything, not evil. It had much of me, but it often felt as though it was not me. She told me I needed help. The dark is gone now, reborn into the beast that holds all my darkness in it's own devilish heart. My beast and I get along quite well to this day, we even have tea a few times a month just to catch up. She was not the only she passing through my mind that night. There was a period of soul searching after her, and by soul searching I mean that I found the souls of others and did my best to nibble on them. I've found that to nibble a soul is to find alleviation from the black for a bit, and it's not hard to do. It is not a permanent consumption, only a temporary tasting. Soul searching is my vice. Vices, and there are many, are all about escape. Some drink until they can't remember what hurts them, or until they can only remember what the hurt is; others act the dragon and billow smoke from between their teeth, altering reality with whatever drug fits the bill that night; some seek a temporary outlet through violence. I prefer sex. It is not a guilty pleasure, I have never felt guilt for my pleasures, but it is still a vice. Carpe Noctem. Perhaps the worst vice of all. Sex is not always about intimacy. There is no closeness or even interest in the act or in the person sometimes- not since the golden eyes stopped beckoning me through the candlelight. Sex is about forgetting I exist for a few hours. It's about relinquishing thought and control of myself to the beast. The beast does well in the darkness. It is, after all, his domain. It brings me closer to balance when the creature born of hideous violence finds a gentility, or at least releases the violence in a way that hurts so sweetly. He can taste her soul when he traces my tongue down along her hips, as He slowly pulls her exquisite reservations loose with one sucking swirl after another. He feeds as her inhibitions fade when he sinks his sharp teeth into the meat of her bottom lip hard enough to make her whimper- which is only half as hard as she wants him to. Surreptitious sensuality. I try and take over that beast at times and ask that he go gently, I try to add in a little of myself- I am often ignored if not forgotten. I allow the beast to do as he will, we work well together, after all. Sometimes a feral growl escapes my throat and I almost worry that she'll be afeared. I am always, always wrong. The beast in me awakens the beast in others, and they like it. There are many kinds of beasts in this world. Beauty and Myself. Watching someone unfold is like watching a flower bloom in a matter of minutes. The petals soften and grow fuller, the outermost chafe falls away. Raw intimacy exposed when there is nothing left to hide. Perfection through reduction. Reality is not altered, it is revealed. Life is given meaning and the taste of all the substance in an entire galaxy can be found in one succulent droplet at the edge of a softened petal. For a moment there is no difference between anyone. We all simply are, and are not, existing- in a swirling, dripping, ebbing vortex of passion and lust and escape; we are painted with the entire pallet of the human experience; filled to the brim by the essence of humanity, and swept up into raw, chaotic, feral vim. We rejoice by releasing that gasp that's not so unlike a death rattle. Le petite mort. My beast found a new She after I landed. The She I met in Budapest was from Kosovo. She was barely 20, a child by all western definitions, but she had lived through the war. She had been living in Belgrade when my country blew it to pieces. She had watched her father tear away the roof on their home and scatter the debris around so that when my country flew over it appeared to be already bombed. Reclusive resourcefulness. She learned too young how to hide in plain sight. She was a lucky one, some of the architecture nearby that was weaker would fall apart without the cross beams to hold the walls together. She was a lucky one, her roof was only removed by choice. She slept in a cold winter for 108 days under the open sky because it was too risky to live warmly- she had to choose between shelter and life. She was a child who knew what that meant- she grew up fast. She was young, but she had an aged look and mature feel to her. She was enlightening to behold. She had beautiful eyes, large and kind and wounded and curious; they were paired with a smile that could melt the coldest ice and soften the hardest steel. I was no exception. Her lips were like the galaxy's edge, and tasted like a constellation falling into place. Her hands were small for a woman as tall as she was, but her fingers felt so strong as they dug deep into my back. She did that when I tried to let my beast apologize to her for what my country had done in her childhood. She must have still held pain from that, because as she traced the tender wounds along my shoulders made by her teeth and apologized, she had a wicked smile of satisfaction. She took a drag off of her rolled cigarette, and the smoke slithered out from between her teeth like eels between a smooth, porcelain coral. The eels swam around a bit before reuniting in the dark cloud forming above the bed. She was beautiful, gorgeous even. She was dangerous only so far as she was harmless. Harmed. She was deeper and more rich in experience than anyone I had met in the states, and some small part of me loved her for that. She seemed so raw and so unrefined that I knew she was exactly as she seemed, and she seemed an amazing woman; earthen, corporeal, honest. I loved her nearly as much as she hated me- which is to say, not at all. We lay there for hours, wordless but not in silence, tracing the tendrils of one another life through the sensations of the body. It was amazing how similar we were despite having nothing in common. I was from Los Angeles in the States, and she was a young Albanian woman living in Kosovo. I was born into poverty by American standards, but won the birth lottery by international consensus. She made me feel privileged, and ashamed of ever feeling otherwise. Weak little beast. I loved her for that. We never said anything to signify emotion was a part in our evening- in truth we said very little at all. Nature invented the kiss for when words become superfluous, I remembered. We were healing each other, sharing in the life of another that was so fundamentally different from our own. We were evading death and dealing in life as we rolled and licked and pulled and bit chunks of experience and memories out of one another. We shared countless stories as we thrusted and twisted our hips into unfamiliar truths. She whispered soft moans to the smoke cloud above us, it seemed like a billowing deity looking down with approval. The beast inside me had done well for her, and she was happy to be feasted on. Soul searching. She was dripping in experience and love when we were done. I felt drained and empowered. The room smelt of cigarettes, sweat, and pride as she slipped into the shower. It gained a hint of rose perfume when she got out. I watched as water danced with the light and ran down her skin- the water seemed to be following the trails of my fingertips. We were reborn as we were cleansed, softer kisses came- from me, not my beast. Conflicting stories. I realized then that she had never awoken him fully, that for once it was me, and I wasn't using her to forget, but to remember that which I had never known. It was beautiful, and I loved her for that. A few short hours later she had to go. She had a 13 hour train ride to Kosovo, and had to split the cost with a group. As she slid into her undergarments I couldn't help but notice small holes in the thin fabric. She had an incredible wealth about her, a profoundly different type of wealth than what I had been taught to consider. That night, as she walked across the wide beautiful bridge in the heart of Budapest, I was the saddest of all it's paintings, the most fractured of it's many monuments. She took with her my secrets, and had left me shaken. International Relations. The plane flew smoothly if you didn't pay too much attention. It's funny to me that I have to return to the States knowing what I know, feeling what I've felt. I wonder if I can even do so. There is a gripping and absurd difference in the way I relate to people in the States, the largest difference of course being that I, in fact, don't. The Eastern Europeans make sense to me. They shake hands and make love to those they should hate. Americans can barely tolerate those who they claim to love. Forgiveness doesn't come easy to them, at least not any more easily than it does to us, it's just that they know that even the people who are aggressors in conflict once suffered. The coldest hearts once cared too much. At a point, people look for any reason to rejoice. At a point, people look for cause to despair. It seems to me the difference is selecting your narrative. I had forgotten this. There are some things you should never forget, and if you want to be happy, this is one of them: events in your life mean very little. The way you choose to interpret them is all that matters. Life is beautiful, exceptionally gorgeous. Life is dangerous so far as it is harmless. Harmed. Life is deeper and more rich in experience than anyone you know, but you have to love it for that. We are remarkably similar, even to those we have nothing in common with.

#mutethoughts

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certifiedchillona · 7 years

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Thoughts on“Reverse Racism”

Okay, this is all I’m going to say. I didn’t have a lot of time, so I barely got this done, but this is all I’m going to say about this. I won’t say anything more.

@creamsicklesz Here is my response, and although I highly doubt you’d change your mind, I wanted to say this.

Okay so this is the beginning of this long explanation on my thoughts to not only your responses on the topic, but just in general about the topic itself.

Racism

noun

1.a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human racial groups determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to dominate others or that a particular racial group is inferior to the others.

2 . a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.

3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.

To begin, I want to start off with talking about what racism is. Many people including yourself classify racism to be a simple definition is based off individual opinion and belief. They simply define racism as a belief that your skin color or “race” makes one race better or superior to the other. However, you can refuse it all you want, but racism is so much more than that. Its overly simplified, and to understand it you do not just look at a simple definition.

Prejudice is a belief. It is judging people or something without prior knowledge of said person or thing. You can be prejudiced towards a white person.

Discrimination is when the prejudice someone has, is put into action. If someone is refused a job or service because of their race or ethnicity or anything of the sort, it is discrimination. An example used by this article was if a black person who was an interviewer were to refuse a white person who is being interviewed, or vice versa, it would be discrimination. You can discriminate against white people.

Racism is when this combination of prejudice and discrimination is becoming the norm or “institutionalized” within the population. Never ever have white people being segregated, treated unfairly, or anything of that sort been the norm. Never has there been a law that made whites anything less than privileged.

Now that that’s out the way, I want to address the responses you’ve made.

First I want to say that opinions by nature are biased. Whomever writes them and whomever speaks them, have decided from different sources and have a bias towards a certain opinion. To me, what is considered “unbiased” to you means that the source must come from someone who shares your views. My views and the views of those who think like me are very much biased and so are yours.

“This belief that you SIMPLY CANNOT BE RACIST towards white people keeps racism alive, it keep the divide between people and you are part of the problem. You should do some research instead of blindly listening to your parents or what the media tells you. Racism is racism plain and simple. When you group an entire race together for the actions of some, you are being racist.”

1) Racism has never been a problem with white people. What you consider “racism” towards whites is not why racism is alive. Racism is alive because of whoop you guessed it racists. People who still believe it’s okay to discriminate against minorities and people who don’t have the power or institutional support to fight back.

2) If I am part of the problem, the problem you are speaking of is completely different than the one that is happening before us. The problem is that racists are still able to oppress and discriminate against racial minorities and get away with it. Trump is a GREAT example. He is a huge racist and look at him, he’s our president. He, a WHITE MAN is holding the power of the POTUS, and because racism is so normalized in our society, It’s okay. Being mean to white people isn’t the problem.

3) You do not know me, and the comment that I blindly listen to my parents or social media was unnecessary, don’t try to invalidate others without knowing where they come from first. On that note, my parents heavily prejudiced towards black people specifically. My mother has literally told my sister that a boy she liked was ugly because he was very dark-skinned,and my father said black people should be grateful that slavery allowed their race to be more built and good at sports. They’ve never made an opinion about white people and told me that I should listen to what they say. The media is a whole other story. Media always depicts minorities and anyone other than white, cis, heterosexuals in a different light. Media tells me that the white man is the superior to all of us, and if I believed that, well I wouldn’t be typing this right now.

4) Again, “racism is racism” means something different to you than me

” So if your source of education and research on this topic happens to be MTV Decoded and/or Francesca Ramsey, you really need to find another source that is unbiased and based in actual facts and logic, one that doesn’t Re-Define things to fit their agendas okay? MTV and Buzzfeed are heavy on that SJW sauce and they constantly contradict themselves. “

I will list my sources that I’ve used if you truly want to see that I’m not one to use only one source. I did not choose that video because of nothing, it made good points and although you may consider it heavily biased, the video made points that are important to address. Like I said before every opinion is biased and you can use different sources of facts to support your claim.

I’m going to break this quote into parts.

1) “White Americans are the racial majority in America. So it would make sense that we get the most representation in MSM right? with that being said, the beauty ideals in America differ from region to region, however, tan and golden is the Most sought after. Not pale AF like myself, Not super dark like some. You cant blame others for your internalized colorism. I am CERTAINLY not the ideal beauty according to ANYONES MSM.-“

Like you said, beauty standards may differ from place to place. I agree with this opinion, but you are focusing only on skin color. If the ideal is “tan and golden” then why arent most models like that? Why is it that for example a black model isn’t sought out by companies? It’s because beauty ideals do not deal only with skin tone. Black features like their big lips (and I mean big, not the ideal “thick and plump”) or any other natural black feature are often seen as ugly. You do have people to blame for internalized colorism. It’s in the name, meaning someone or something has made you feel that one color skin is more beautiful or preferred than another. The only difference is how you decide to deal with it. It’s not easy to rid of things that were internalized, but people need to try.

2) “Most people don’t give two fucks about your race and most people celebrate differences, especially these days. To those who have bad experiences with some white people, its is RACIST to assume all white people are the same and to avoid them completely.”

I personally don’t know where you live or what kind of environment you are surrounded by, but its true that in many places, specifically large urban areas, diversity is embraced and celebrated, but that isn’t the case everywhere. You have to understand that while you might live somewhere where racial diversity is embraced, others can be and are still discriminated against in other places. I do agree that ignoring someone based on their race is not okay, but this is an example of prejudice and discrimination of an individual, and NOT the normalized racism you see with others.

3) “Just like Not ALL black people in America are criminals or bad people. Would you say its okay for a white person to avoid and judge black people for past experiences they’ve had? NO, you would call it racist, wouldn’t you? I was physically attacked for my race and still, some would say that’s its not racist. You have no compassion if you think that’s not racist. And still! I don’t judge any other black person for the way those 4 girls ganged up on me. I don’t judge other for the looks that I get from SOME black people. I never judged when SOME black people wouldn’t touch my hand when I was trying to give them their money when I worked at Walgreens. I didn’t judge all black people when I lived in Chicago and was CLEARLY the minority in my neighborhood. Don’t have double standards. It’s perpetuating racism and making it worse. I’m sorry if this OFFENDS anyone, but this is something I’ve always HATED. I HATE racism, sexism, homophobia. And I know most people do too. So I can NEVER UNDERSTAND how some think this is okay?! “

It is true that we shouldn’t discriminate against each other. It is dumb to assume that a few people represent an entire group. But again, it’s not racist. It is prejudiced, it is discrimination, but it is not racism. I guess you would deem me with no compassion, but that is not true. I can’t say anything about the situation where those girls “ganged up on you” because I know nothing of the situation. As for the walgreens thing, how do you know specifically it was because of race? I don’t like when people touch my hands, especially not strangers, so again, unless I was there, I can’t say anything.

“Every race has had their slaves, but people don’t think that counts. For some reason, we never learn about how the Arabs and the Middle East hosted more African slaves than North America ever did, we don’t learn about how white slaves were sold in Africa along with their own people, the fact that the slaves who came to America were sold by their own people is just ignored bc it doesn fit the racist agenda that is popular now. The African Moors had white slaves for hundreds of years.

This doesn’t mean that the slave trade in America wasn’t horrible, it obviously was, it just means it wasn’t special. As far as discrimination in todays Western society, In America since that is what I can speak first hand for, I can agree that white people haven’t had to deal with what blacks did. that’s %100 true. However, bringing back segregation and shifting the racism towards white people doesn’t make up for what happened in the past. I wasn’t alive for slavery or for segregation in the 50’s and 60’s but I can tell you right now I would have been in the street and sit ins along with all the other humans that deserved equal treatment. “By the way, in my opinion, racism is a way of thinking, its not just a definition. It’s thinking you are better than someone bc of their skin. it’s using an entire race as a scapegoat to explain your or the worlds problems. Its simply not having love and compassion for another human being. Its evil and its the worst part of humanity, it is the utter LACK of humanity. And no race is exempt from this. To say an entire race IS exempt from this is to say that race is superior to the other. This is R A C I S M”

The entire first paragraph is what I would parallel with the “All Lives Matter”. Yes other people had slaves, I acknowledge that this happened, but using it to defend your point is tearing down not only the suffering people went through, and the work we’ve done to try and rid of it. The “white slaves sold by their own people.” were mostly from Ireland and Europe. They came here willingly and those who didn’t most likely were told they had to be indentured servants in the U.S. by their country. I am going to emphasized indentured servants, because they were not slaves at all. They were treated far better than slaves in the south.

The African Moors did have white slaves, and it was a preference toward the blond hair, blue eyes. Their peak of european slaves was around 1.2 million, while America was home to about 4 million african slaves.

An example I want to use is if two people had a serious injury. Let’s say person 1 had one leg missing and person 2 had both legs missing. You wouldn’t tell person one to suck it up just because person 2 has both legs gone. You wouldn’t tell person 1 that their injury isn’t special or doesn’t matter because someone else has it worse. We are not shifting racism to whites, you are still in power, you are still majority, you are still privileged whether you want to deny it or not. It’s common sense that anyone should stand up to equality in the 50s and 60s. the 50s and 60s right? Well ye-no. In the decades of segregation, colorism was internalized and although you may have grown up with and abusive step father now, you have absolutely no idea who you would be raised by and how you would have grown up there. Racism is a way of thinking, but the thing that makes it racism is the fact that its normalized and minorities are not supported in any institution. The government is discriminatory of us, and that is racism.

In regards to this article

I don’t like this quote

“How would that have felt? Might you have imagined that this could reinforce in the minds of your classmates the stereotype that blacks are weak students?”

The whole situation itself that they used as an example is really weird. To say that someone is “randomly” put into an advanced class. Minorities in college were not “randomly” put there. You can’t compare someone being “randomly placed in an advanced class in high school” to someone who applied and has shown enough strength to be accepted into college. Colleges don’t pick minority students just because they can, minority students still have to work hard and have the qualifications to be accepted into colleges.

Stereotypes are bad enough. This sentence is saying that the students in your class already look down on you for being black. It is saying that this stereotype is already in their mind and that when they see you doing bad, they’re like “ see black people are lazy”.

Minorities don’t have the same opportunities as white people already, affirmative action is providing those opportunities. If minorities are failing in colleges because of SAT scores and grades, then maybe think why they don’t do as well.

University of Texas:

A lot of this is saying that blacks and minorities aren’t academically prepared or competitive but I’m going to tell you that that this starts even before college. Minorities tend to be predominantly low income so they’ll be more likely to live in low income areas. If you compare these two maps, most low-income areas are higher in population of black and hispanics. This means that most likely, their schools don’t have the funds to give them the opportunities and funds to even be able to be competitive from even before college or highschool. Same goes for this data.

“Minorities also have a higher chance of being accepted in universities, even if their grades or academic record is not as “good” as their white peers. Again, they have the privilege. The problem of minorities not getting higher level education is that a larger percentage than white people do not finish high school or seek higher education.”

“Second, strong black and Hispanic students accepted UCLA offers of admission at much higher rates after the preferences ban went into effect; their choices seem to suggest that they were eager to attend a school where the stigma of a preference could not be attached to them. This mitigated the drop in enrollment.”

Again, I believe that this has to do with the fact that minorities are discouraged to begin with.They have few role models and representation, and the prejudice in this country often tells them that they won’t be able to account to anything.

“I wont get into black on black crime being more prevalent than white on black crime bc no one seems to think that’s valid.”

Mm it really depends because yes, black on black is more than white on black, but so is white on white. So depending on what you’re trying to argue, it could or couldn’t be valid.

“Not as many white people experience this because the white community finishes high school more often, they have less babies at a young age and out of wedlock, and they get jobs because of this. “

Whites generally have higher incomes which means better education. Better education not only means knowledge like math and writing, but also knowledge about family planning and safe sex. This really seems like you’re trying to allude that whites are superior because of their favoring in our society, but I could be misunderstanding.

“ I see more positivity regarding black hair etc. than I’ve ever seen negativity, at least in my lifetime and this generation. I see more negativity within the black community itself. This racism against whites is not social equality.”

You see more positivity on black hair nowadays because you most likely see it on the internet (which is a big thing in this generation), in the real world out there, not the internet community, a lot of people experience negativity about their hair. Again, just because you personally haven’t seen much of it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. And yes it is social equality, why? Because you are finally getting to see what it’s like to be us, and even now you still don’t and will not experience discrimination and racism at the level that we do.

“Two wrongs to not make a right. Knocking someone else down doesn’t bring you up. And it certainly doesn’t end racism in general, it perpetuates it. White people have not had privilege in a long time. Hell, white people aren’t even the race doing the best within America, that’s Asian Americans! They get the best jobs and the highest education. Because, on average, Asian families stay together, they have strong morals and work ethic, and they have a very strong emphasis in education.”

I agree with your first statement, but white people still have privilege….. The fact that whites get charged less time for the same crimes, you aren’t as frequent victims or police brutality, you won’t be ridiculed for your name, you can express yourself using other cultures and not be called “dirty” or be told to go back to your country for speaking your native language. Most likely, English is your first language, and you won’t be laughed at for an accent not favorable (ex: the Asian stereotype of “herro” vs people loving British accents). You guys are seen most times seen as one of the races least likely to commit serious crimes. Those are all privileges that aren’t available to all of us. Asian Americans are doing very well in America why though? You can look here. (and some other links in my sources). The very strong emphasis on education is a good thing, but it can also be very draining, as Asian American children have this weight put on their shoulders and even in Asian countries, many mental downsides come along with this. One example would be their very high suicide rates.

“I do feel entitled to be treated like a human, just as everyone else should. I don’t feel that its right to be called a “White Devil” or that all white people are born racist and are inferior or to be attacked for no reason, for things ive never done, all because I’m white. I don’t care what you or anyone says, that RACIST.”

You do have the right to be treated like a human and everyone else too, the problem is that’s not the case with us. White people are treated like humans. Minorities (and not just racial minorities I mean all minorities) are denied rights and treated like we are inferior to whites. WE are the ones treated like the inferiors, not you, especially because we tend to have lower incomes, we struggle even more as a group. WE are attacked for no reason and far more often than whites. Whites are definitely not the victim, which is what I’m getting from this statement.

“If i were to group you all together for what one person does, it would not affect your ability to get jobs, to get higher level education, and other things of that sort Affirmative action was created to specifically help minorities acquire jobs and it is still active today, so in fact, minorities have the privilege in this instance. If someone is denied work simply because of their race and not their attitude, qualifications, or overall skill, that person can sue and will %100 win.” “However on the occasion that there is discrimination, which I know there is, that person has the ability to sue and I can guarantee they will win. This disproves systematic racism along with the other examples I provided above. And just in case they can’t afford to sue, there are public defenders and the NAACP has provided legal counsel for the black community on numerous occasions. “

If you were to group us together of course it wouldn’t affect as as you are one person. When a lot of white people who are the ethnic majority were to do the same thing, then we have a problem. Affirmative action was created to help us, but maybe you should think why we would need help in the first place? It’s trying to help us have equal opportunities that come naturally to a person born white in America. How can you 100% guarantee that if someone sues that they would win? The justice system itself is a problem at times, police brutality is made out to be okay, so what makes you think that someone would win in a court for this? I really don’t understand how you think that special programs that are made to help us = reverse racism? If we were equal we wouldn’t even need these programs, if we were equal then everyone would have the money to sue, if we were equal, then we wouldn’t have had to sue to begin with. Just because there are some programs here and there that help us, doesn’t disprove systemic racism. Systemic racism is still very much valid.

“As for “Other things” minorities are more likely to receive government assistance in the way of housing, food stamps, child care, and disability pay. In fact, I can give you a personal anecdote to prove my point. My Mothers BF had surgery on his back and was unable to work for 3 months. In an attempt to collect disability for the months he needed to recuperate, he was told he would NEED to be out for AT LEAST 365 days to receive disability checks. He was confused by this because his coworker received disability for the 3 weeks he couldn’t work due to a broken hand. He brought this up and asked why it is different for him and the worker straight up told him it was because he was white. That coworker of his was also an illegal immigrant fyi.”

My only problem with these examples is that I really can’t say anything about them because I don’t have enough detail. Where did her BF work? What was his role? What were the circumstances? I don’t know. I also don’t want to get into the treatment of illegal immigrants, especially in agribusiness. What I will say is that more often than not, we are more likely to get assistance because we are more likely to need assistance. Again, this is because our races have been oppressed and forced to the bottom of this social hierarchy.

“Im sorry but that doesn’t seem like they are being treated justly by the government. As for “White people have always had the advantage when it comes to race.” I agree, especially with “had”. past tense. I have no advantages as a white. I am middle-lower middle class in America. I cannot afford to go to college yet I cannot get govt assistance because my mother makes too much money. Not enough to send me to college though. However, if I was a minority I would have no problems getting grants and scholarships and financial aid. I have to wait to apply for fafsa or student loans until I turn 24 this year so they no longer need my parent income info or a cosigner for loans. I am not advantaged. I get jobs based on my skill level and my work ethic, not my race. The current job I have, I got lucky bc I happened to know someone working here already. Before this I was at Walgreens with my mixed race fellow employees and my black female manager.”

You do have advantages as a white. Really you do. If it was a minority in your place, I can place my bets that they wouldn’t have as many opportunities as you do just by being white. If you are having problem getting grants or financial aid for college, I think it could be because of research. Now I don’t know if you did a lot of research or not, I don’t know what you’ve done to try and get help for college, so I’m not saying at all that you didn’t try hard enough or anything. You as a white person actually have more of a chance to get monetary scholarships than a minorities. I don’t know your grades or what you’ve done in school so again, I can’t say if you aren’t or are qualified for these, but I’m assuming if you do rather well in school, that you qualify for institutional, merit-based scholarships.

“Black people DO gain something from being racist. Note the newly segregated “safe spaces” and segregated housing that have been installed on certain college campuses. The fact that you and many others think black people can’t be racist. And if this racism continues, it will just be flipped opposite from the 50’s and 60’s.”

For as long as white people hold power in the United States, you can’t have a “flipped” version of segregation in the 50s and 60s. Safe spaces aren’t something “gained” for minorities. Does it help us get equal pay? Does it help us have equal chances in schools, homes, jobs, etc? Safe spaces were originally created to show people they can be themselves without discrimination, but it has changed recently. I don’t think it is right to have these, but we don’t gain anything from it as a group in our society.

“Racism is a system based on the fact that for example black people, have had disadvantages both socially and politically based off of the race they were born into. We do not have a racist system, systematic racism doesn’t exist in todays western society, as ive explained above. Our system is set up to help minorities. We had a black president for 2 terms, we have black members in all areas of our government. The only thing stopping minorities from succeeding is themselves.” ““There are three things a person needs to do in order to not be poor in America. Finish high school, don’t have kids, and get a job. Although I would also argue that now, you also need a two-year degree but A very large percentage of black people do not finish high school, have kids at young ages, and depend on government assistance to sustain themselves. They family dynamic is broken down and the father rarely stays with the mother. If you don’t finish high school your chances of getting a good job are very slim. If you are a single parent you ARE going to struggle financially. Lets not forget the heavy crime in the black communities resulting from low income and low education”

Our system is still racist, not fully, but still. Especially with the Trump Administration. Yes, we had a black president for two terms out of how many other terms? 43. 2/43 terms is enough for you to say our system isn’t racist? The fact that it took so long for us to be able to even have a black president should be enough evidence because many have tried to run for the position before. Yes we have black people in our government, but how many? Whites have always had over half of the government positions. This is just in the executive branch. This last sentence is what really really bothers me. Me as a minority myself can’t even begin to wonder how it is to think that it’s so simple to succeed in life. I can not comprehend being able to have that kind of privilege. You truly think that the only thing stopping us is us. That the only reason we don’t succeed is because we don’t want to or we don’t try hard enough? Wow. Really I don’t even know what to say.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/11/19/the-real-secret-to-asian-american-success-was-not-education/?utm_term=.da1ebde186ff

http://america.aljazeera.com/opinions/2015/10/the-asian-disadvantage.html

http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/06/racism-against-asian-americans/4

http://www.businessinsider.com/heres-median-income-in-the-us-by-race-2013-9

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/dear-white-people-please-stop-pretending-reverse-racism-is-real

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2010/07/15/884649/-Why-there-s-no-such-thing-as-Reverse-Racism

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/its-a-slap-in-the-face-when-white-women-wear-black-hairstyles_us_55c0c153e4b0b23e3ce3f27b?ebq08uxr=

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/reverse-racism-isnt-a-thing_us_55d60a91e4b07addcb45da97

https://www.dailydot.com/via/reverse-racism-doesnt-exist/

http://www.gallup.com/poll/18487/blacks-whites-advantage-college-admissions.aspx

http://www.colorlines.com/articles/study-white-students-more-likely-win-college-scholarships

#racism #reverse racism #controversial

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