#i don't care if you have to make it outta stick figures bitch! MAKE IT

[piss-stained-jorts]

"i wanna see something other than the same edgy horror stuff when a beloved character becomes public domai-"

FUCKING MAKE IT, THEN.

the literal only difference between you and those horror directors who took mickey and winnie the pooh and made them into the horror you hate so much is that they made something and you didn't.

MAKE the romcom. MAKE the deep and existential meta horror you want to see. MAKE something cozy and child friendly. MAKE MAKE MAKE MAKE MAKE

don't just sit there and bemoan the things you don't want to see! MAKE THE THINGS YOU DO WANT TO SEE. BECAUSE NOW WE CAN MAKE ANYTHING. THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT!

YOU DON'T NEED PERMISSION. YOU DON'T NEED TO BE SOMETHING FIRST. JUST MAKE WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE.

YOU CAN'T STOP AN ARTIST FROM TAKING A CHILD FRIENDLY THING AND MAKING IT INTO HORROR. THE LITERAL ONLY PERSON YOU CAN STOP, AND ARE STOPPING, IS YOURSELF.

DON'T FUCKING WAIT FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO MAKE IT FOR YOU. PICK UP A DAMNED PENCIL/KEYBOARD/WHATEVER AND MAKE THAT THING YOU WANT TO SEE, GOD DAMMIT!!!

#mickey mouse #public domain #i don't care if you have to make it outta stick figures bitch! MAKE IT #MAKE IT AND DON'T APOLOGIZE #MAKE IT AND LOVE IT AND LOOK BACK LATER AND HATE IT BECAUSE AT LEAST THERE'S SOMETHING THERE TO HATE #MAKE. CREATE. BRING LIFE TO SOMETHING. GIVE YOUR VISION FORM. DO IT FUCKER #YOU WANT OTHER SHIT? MAKE OTHER SHIT AND DON'T LET THAT HORRID VOICE OF DOUBT STOP YOU

[quixotic-gray]

Clutter

I feel like at the first trauma in early childhood I learned pump my mind full of novocaine and with the hallmarks of childhood (overbearing helplessness, deeply learning inwardly and outwardly toxic behaviors, countless little bad things that add up) I got extremely good at numbing myself, I got so good at it that even now when things happen it doesn't matter how much I want to feel and process the pain. It's automatic and I got so good at it I do it for good feelings too and now I just can't stop.

I'm putting in the work to be mindful, I'm trying to dwell on present things that hurt me, some stuff that should have been pretty hurtful happened last week and I remember the only feeling towards it I had was "I expected that" with some small sick gratification of being right. So later on that day I was thinking about it, "I should have been mad, I shouldve been hurt, I should have defended myself" blah blah blah, but I couldn't get anything except frustration with myself for not caring.

Like I know I'm repressing it now because the harder I try to think of it the foggier my brain gets, and I'm trying to retrospectively feel mad about it but it felt more like poking roadkill with a stick saying "shoulda been watching for cars, come on get outta the road, why aren't you moving, I'm poking you aren't I, it's annoying isn't it? Bitch." Like I just couldn't even feel upset or hurt or angry in any way and this is the problem. I can't stop it, my brain is floating around in straight novocaine instead of csf, and I'm trying to figure out what to do.

All my therapy is homemade. the person I respect the least, the person I pick on more than I could ever pick on anyone else, the one person I devalue and betray on a daily basis has gotten me farther than I ever expected to go and endured and survived everything up to now in the clever resourceful ways brains have of making it through hard times. And I guilt myself because I've retained the survival techniques that worked when I was a kid and they're only holding me back now, but that's not something to be frustrated with. It takes patience and I had liked believing I have more patience than anyone but I'm wondering how much of my "patience" and "acceptance" is just the novocaine numb in my brain. I don't think I can learn to feel, I think its a matter of unlearning all the behaviors I subconsciously use to protect myself from feeling. It will go a long way I imagine, but unlearning this stuff is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I have to unlearn not to trust people instead of learn to trust people, I have to unlearn to avoid vulnerability and intimacy instead of learn how to be that way. I have to unlearn the illusion I created for myself as a kid that everything under my control would be okay and let go of the delusion that burying problems, denying things and making excuses for why people hurt me are behaviors that give me control. They don't, they just make my need to be out of control so much worse and I wonder why I'm so stuck in compulsive behaviors that are killing me. I know I don't like getting up hung over and I binge anyway even though I know I'm not going to like the consequences and I'm not going to feel any better when I get up than I did before I started pouring glasses. And I think subconsciously I like it though since its such an easy thing to blame all my problems on. Sure it causes a lot of problems but its a symptom more than anything of the fact that I am subconsciously so intent on avoiding real pain that I create pain for myself to feel in control of if that makes sense. I don't have to feel helpless if I think I'm in control and I think helplessness is an ache I've been trying to go around all my life. But some aches and traumas aren't obstacles you can go around and watch them fade in the distance until you forget they were ever there. They aren't walls you can climb because they go infinitely high and you can't dig under them because they go infinitely deep. There is a very obvious door in the wall though, it hurts to walk through and its easier to sit in the discontent on this side of the wall than it is to face the pain of going through it. The longer you pretend it isn't there whether consciously or not, the thicker the wall gets and longer the hall is that you have to walk through. My mind shuts off when it looks at the hot coal floor that goes all the way down that hall, but it's really gotta be just one step after the other once I unlearn to pretend the door doesn't exist right? I doubt if any of this makes sense, it's just helpful to move the clutter in my head some place else and what better place than a blog.

You know I was going to hate on myself yet again for how I ramble (learn to write in tldr, you give up on everything even paragraphs. bitch.), then I was going to make an excuse (well I don't have anybody to share things with so things build up and explode on blog posts), but fuck it. I just have to start liking myself for christs sake, I need to stop feeling like a dumb fuck for every little thing I do and I guess I think that by insulting myself I get to it first so nobody else wants to but it's just. goofy. It's not funny, it's not cute, it's not cool- being a mopey self-deprecating shit does no favors for anyone. I am verbose, I could probably be concise if I wanted but why do I care- it's my blog, if nobody wants to read it I'm not making them, there's a cut right at the start, and there's nothing wrong with being verbose. It adds nuance. (And my hero Oliver Sacks was so verbose it drove his editors nuts and I love that about his writing- it's a *good* thing)

Also I'm probably done with writing thought tangents and leaving them in drafts for weeks before deleting them because I'm pretty certain its just my fear of vulnerability and I think by letting myself actually put them on the blog it might be healthy.

#from percy with love #thought tangents

[pcrfectstorms]

Thoughts, feelings and theories post vol 2;  i promise this is the last post i’m going to make about it for now, since i want to actually write but below the cut for spoiler reasons.

okay, so basically i think wills painting was foreshadowing next seasons new villain. if they’re sticking with dnd villains then next season it’s going to be borys. he is by dnd lore a red dragon who’s literally glowing red of magma who’s wings are engulfed with clouds of smoke, which mirrors the imagery of the final shot in vol 2, also by dnd lore he’s not a ‘born’ dragon, rather her transcends through classes to become one which could play into the time jump the duffers have said they’re going to do. so, in that time however long it is, i’d say it’ll probably be 2/3 years to take the kids into their junior or senior year of hs, and in that time vecna has been reco-operating in the upside down, getting stronger to come back more powerful than before. borys is canonically more powerful than vecna, like serious hit points if this dude even breathes on you more powerful than vecna, and we know 001 ascended to being vecna so who’s to say he can’t again

for max i think there is a few ways her story could play out. so, El can’t find her bc while she physically died in the real world, mentally she was still in the upside down, trapped by vecna, vecna said it himself he takes all of what the person  is when he takes them, so while el is astral projecting into her mind and finding nothing it’s bc she’s literally not there she’s in the upside down, somewhere, right? so either, when they finally do defeat vecna she’ll be ‘freed’ and we’ll get her back or, those letters she wrote will play into it, bc again, vecna takes everything, so her memory is possibly wiped, and those letters are going to help bring her memories back, and thus being max back

I am holding onto the theory that eddie isn’t dead, that's the only way his 'death’ makes sense. Because you can't tell me the ONLY person who cared was Dustin, like FUCK OFF. you also can't tell me they would have left his body in the upside down when he was literally like 100 yards from his fucking trailer, where the gate was, no fucking way they would have left him in there; no way dustin would have LET them leave him there. nope, rejected. so, because he's still a wanted man, they're helping him hide, keeping his safe, and in s5 we'll see him again. and if not, fuck the duffer bc the literally only killed him for shock value and bc they don't have the writing skills to figure out how to redeem him with the townspeople 

robin’s ‘love interest’ storyline with bullshit and just queer misery for the sake of queer misery. giving vickie a boyfriend just to break robins heart and so she can bitch to robin about her boyfriend, like really? giving the only canonically queer character who’s only real conversation with her ‘love interest’ centred around a man, nah get the fuck outta here with that shit. that scene did not pass the bechdel test. frankly, the duffers can take dollar store molly ringwald and fuck off. robin deserves a hot, thicc gf not some dollar store version of herself with a bad hair cut, i know its the 80′s but jesus fucking christ vickie’s lewk was tragic even by 80′s standards, i said what i said and i don’t take it back.

steve wanting a big family is cute as fuck, but franky nancy doesn’t deserve him. i did not watch 3 seasons of his growth for him to regress back to his high school girlfriend who couldn’t even tell him she loved him. no thank you, i don’t want it. you can keep that duffers. fyi, i love nancy, this isn’t nancy hate, this is just a big fat no to stancy in their current canon state.  

things i did actually like included; JOPPER KISSING!!! El and Hop reunion, Brenner finally fucking dying, Dustin and Eddie’s play fighting scene, lumax rising before max was ya know, literally rising, and the byers boys scene in the pizza shop. otherwise, i reject vol 2 as canon and would like to sue the duffers for emotional damages, thanks lmao.

#❛ shit talking ❜ [ ooc ] #st4 spoilers #st4 vol2 spoilers #stranger things spoilers

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Tremors

Let's get you out of the sun for a spell.

Please move your fat ass.

Well, when I'm your age I'll probably forget what I eat, too.

How many cows does it take to make a stampede? Is it like three or more? Is there a minimum speed?

You will have long blonde hair, big green eyes, nice full breasts that stand up and say hello, ass that won't quit. And legs, legs that go all the way up!

Yeah, well, I'm getting what I refer to scientifically as "weird vibes."

They're all the same; dead weight. Can't make a decision, can't walk because of their shoes, can't work because of their fingernails. Make my skin crawl!

Well, I'm a victim of circumstance.

Twenty years of looking for a woman exactly like Miss October 1968, and where'd it get me?

Down, honey, down.

The way you worry, you're gonna have a heart attack before you get to survive World War III.

Right. We plan ahead. That way we don't do anything right now.

The idea was; we were ripping you off.

Now, you know I'm good for it.

Are we too easy-going?

If we're gonna take the plunge we oughta have a better plan than that.

Stop it! Stop it, you horrid animal!

God almighty, my mama sure didn't raise me for this.

You're the one's gotta have a plan.

What keeps us doing jobs like this is you dragging your feet.

You gonna stand there in broad daylight and tell me you think I'm the reason we're still here?

I'll call that little bluff.

Forget it, man. It's not worth it.

We did it! We faced temptation and we did not bend!

Last chance, asshole.

Jeez, look at that guy.

You're full of shit.

He must've really been drunk this time.

You damn fool, you owe me on this one

Well, whatever the hell happened it's just one more goddamn good reason to haul ass out of this place.

Hey, where the hell's that asshole dog?

We got a killer on the loose!

He's cutting people's heads off!

I'd high-tail for town if I was you!

The phone is out!

We've gotta get the police up here.

Well, there's sure as hell nothing to stop us now.

Is some higher force at work here?

Are we asking too much of life?

You on a booze break or what?!

Where are the bullets? Don't we have any goddamn bullets?

Hey, I don't want spend the night out here!

What the hell you doing back already?

Unreal! Where'd you get it?

It's disgusting.

So, it's some kind of snake?

It's dead all right. Tore the damn thing in half.

There's gotta be more out there, a lot more.

Slick as snot and I'm not lying.

Look, we organize, we arm ourselves.

We go out, we find those damn snake things, we make 'em extinct.

Might be aliens. Who knows?

Why go looking for trouble?

Phone's out. Road's out. We're on our own.

I'm dead. Let's finish in the morning.

Just keep looking at that beautiful sky.

Damn that thing!

Well, what's wrong with it?

You sure this is where it was?

God, what a stink!

Something's got me!

Oh, God! Get me Out!! GET ME OUT!!

Somebody stop it!

You want the rifle or the Smith?

IT'S GOT ME! IT's GOT ME! AAAAHGH!

You stupid punk!

One of these days, [NAME], somebody's gonna kick your ass.

Come back with the Sheriff.

Come back with the National Guard.

That means we're gonna be out here, like, in the dark.

Oh, man, I hate this shit.

Ride like hell.

How could they bury an entire Plymouth station wagon?

They're under the goddamn ground!

There must be a million of them!

It's gaining on us!

We can do it, we can do it!

We killed the bastard!

Did you just notice something weird?

Think it smells like that 'cause it's dead?

I think they shoot right outta its mouth, hook you, and pull you right in.

Good thing we stopped it before it killed anybody else.

I'm lucky it didn't find me.

This is like, well, let's say it, it's probably the biggest zoological discovery of the century.

Just look at what we caught here!

This is one big mother!

Come on, nobody's ever seen one of these!

There are five more of these things!

Five more?

If you compare the different readings, there have to be five.

There's nothing like them in the fossil record, I'm sure.

I'd vote for outer space. No way those are local boys.

The government built them, a big surprise in the next war.

How the hell's it even know we're still here?

It can sense the slightest seismic vibration, hear every move we make.

I always wanted to be stuck on a desert island. But somehow I always imagined, you know, water.

You know, I hate to be crude, but I'm gonna have to take care of some business here.

I'll tell you, if you ever wanted proof God is a man, this is it.

Running's not a plan. Running is what you do when the plan fails.

You're not even trying to come up with a plan!

Think it's still following us?

You go north, I'll go south.

Well, I'm scared, but I'm not sorry.

All right, I'm about as subtle as a donkey's ass.

You think we're not even safe here in town?

I think we should all get the hell out while the getting's good.

You should have a theory at least.

This valley's just one long smorgasbord and if we don't haul ass outta here we're the next course.

You little ass wipe!

You knock that off or you're gonna be shitting that basketball!

Where are we going to go that's safer than right here?

I'm gonna kick his ass!

Man, you got a gun?!

Big as a house!

Remember, no noise. No vibration.

Get off your pogo stick!

Go back, for chrissake!

Come on! Outta your pants!

Just run! Run like screaming fuck!

This oughta hurt like hell.

So, is that one of your usual jobs, saving peoples' lives?

How long till they go away?

Shut it up! Shut the little bastard up!

Quiet! Quiet you hateful thing!

Chuck him out the door!

Son of a bitchin' lowlife, putrid, scum.

I got enough food here to last us for weeks.

Jesus! Shut it off!

Can't you shout a little quieter?

How the hell long it take you to change a tire?

They're coming after you! They're coming right now!

Big monsters under the ground, [NAME]!

Broke into the wrong goddamn rec room, didn't you, you BASTARD!

We killed that motherfucker!

Uh, be advised, however, there are four more, repeat, four more motherfuckers.

They got one! They killed one of the sons of bitches!

You're not getting any penetration, even with the elephant gun.

Never figured on having to shoot through dirt! Best goddamn bullet stop there is.

They can feel our vibrations, but they can't find us.

The bastards are up to something.

Oh, wow, man! No way! No fucking way, man!

They're gonna tear this whole town out from under us!

We'll come get everybody. Just hang on tight.

Since when the hell's every goddamn thing up to us?!

We don't have a hell of a lot of time here.

We need a helicopter is what we need, or a goddamn tank.

Jesus. It's slower than hell.

Couldn't we distract them somehow?

We need a decoy.

Hey, [NAME], you wanna make a buck?

We're gonna save our asses here!

Get real. I'm faster than you.

Damn. Guess I have to do it.

Watch your ass, shithead.

Don't worry about me, jerkoff.

You goddamn suicidal son of a bitch!

He'll never make it! They're gonna get him!

HEY, YOU SORRY SONS OF BITCHES, COME AND GET ME!

Goddamn good thinking!

Me next!

Get me off of here!

We got about three seconds!

God damn! Armored transport!

What do you think? Max firepower or...?

I'd go for penetration.

Give me a gun! I'll take one!

I wouldn't give you a gun if it was World War Three.

Underground goddamn monsters?!

Any sign of'em?

Maybe they're taking a dump.

What the hell are they doing? They're up to something.

I don't care what they're doing as long as they're doing it way over there.

They dug a trap! I can't believe this!

Hungry?! Eat this!!

Here they come! They're coming back!

They'll sure as hell get us if we stay here!

[NAME] do you have any more of those things?

Then, when the explosion happens, if it drives them away again, we all run like goddamn bastards!

What if it doesn't scare them? What if they don't run?

They're so sensitive to sound, they have to run! It hurts too much!

We're gonna run. Get ready.

They're too fast! You can't outrun them, no way!

It worked! There they go!

You asshole! There's no bullets in this gun!

Could we make it to the mountains?

What's the matter with you? What are you talking about?!

Those animals would have killed you!

You haven't seen what they can do.

They're not falling for it!

I'll make'em pay attention, goddamnit

We can't kill them all.

Use the fucking bomb!

This better be one great plan!

We could make some real money off this whole thing, get in People magazine.

Sell the movie rights.

You're really leaving, huh?

There's going to be major research up here.

And thanks for everything, you know, saving my life and stuff.

Civil? I'm civil.

You're not civil, you're glum.

We got the world by the tail with a downhill pull and all of a sudden you go glum on me.

Somebody paying you to do this?

She just practically asked you for a date.

God, my work is never done.

Fine, make the mistakes I did.

I think I'll just be playing this hand myself.

I'd goddamn worship her.

Can you fly, sucker?! CAN YOU FLY?!

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #roleplay memes #tremors

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ JUST ONE SECOND ❜

with Creeper Vargas.

Request: Holà! Do you mind to write something about Creeper ? This guys needs more love ! 😍 Maybe reader & Creeper are already in relationship. And Reader is firefighter & Creeper and Crew see her during intervention? And he can be very scared for her or very excited? Ending with smut ? 🙈🔥 If u don't want or can't.... That's totally fine 😊❤

BY ANON

Warnings: NSFW, SMUT and Creeper trying to be romantic.

Word count: about 2.9k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: @angels-reyes.

Masterlist.

You can’t lie. The fire warning from a location close to Vicki’s house surprised you. In less than fifteen seconds you are already wearing the heavy equipment, ready to drive the fire truck through the border of Santa Madre, crossing it by the private door you have to avoid the fact to wait for other cars to step aside and let you pass them away. The sirens can be heard all around the mexicali dessert, speeding up as soon as you see the smoke screen close to Riz’s lands, with furious engulfing blazes burning down a whole house. The police patrols are leading you the road, having to overtake them because of their low velocity. That doesn’t help you, and your boss shouting at you to do it either. Stopping the wheels dead with a dry noise, you all jump out of the heavy vehicle under the attentive looks of the neighbors. But you can’t think about it, about their whispers, not about the guys looking at you from Vicki’s porch. You’re too busy hearing the orders while García helps you to wear the equipment and the helmet covering your head completely. A house. Two floors. One garage. Kitchen, bathroom and living room in the first one. Three dorms, two bathrooms and a built-it closet in the hallway. A woman screaming through the second window on the top floor at your left.

Your legs move faster than ever, as they trained you for years. You’re leading the team, organizing where they must go. Two men on the first floor. Two women and you on the second one, while the other four are outside trying to set off the burning with the hoses from the truck. Whenever you cross a door, it’s like coming into hell. The heat is scorching. You can feel how your body melts because of it, going upstairs and controlling the fire around you to not get fucked up by an unexpected flame. The doors are closed, grabbing the axe on your back to hit the center of them, so the rooms can breathe a little. Knowing by that technique where the fire originated. The color of the smoke says a lot about it. The blacker, the closer you are to the epicenter.

“BE FUCKING HURRY, TEAM! THIS SHIT IS GONNA FALL DOWN!” You scream, as loud as your throat let you, while they begin to explore the dorms.

It’s easy to find the mother and her children, feeling some water refresh your equipment when you get closer to a window. You’re always the last one to go downstairs, making sure no one else is there. Through the walkie you can hear your boss shouting at you to go out, before the house gets destroyed. The water is not helping to turn off the fire. But when you’re about to do it, you hear a high-pitched cry coming from the built-it closet. Closed. With all your force, you hit the doorknob to break it and open it. A small dog jumps into you, scared, crying and moving his tale. A mix of emotions that you’re fast to deal with. Leaving the axe on the floor, you open your jacket to tuck him under it, zipping it again to protect him from the flames. He’s not going to die there, and later you will figure out why he was locked down inside a wardrobe. Running again towards the stairs, you have to throw yourself back when a roof wooden beam falls over them, covered into flames. Just one second. You have just one second to go backwards, disconnecting from the world, from the screams of your boss, from the screams of your mates calling you through the walkie. Just one second to remember where the whiter smoke was. Just one second that can cost your life if you don’t act quickly. You’ve been in worse shit than this. Fuck, you will adopt that cute puppy that just in one second stole your heart. And you smile at him, just one second.

Turning around above the heavy boots, you run to the second dorm kicking the door to come in. The flames are burning down the walls, leaving enough space to reach the window. Hitting the glass with your elbow to break it, you stick your head out.

“BRING THE BLANKET! BRING THE FUCKING BLANKET!”

As soon as your team finds you, they run to the fire truck to grab a big blanket to positionate themselves under the windows, stretching it high enough to jump onto it. You take just one second to surround your chest with both arms, holding the dog tightly under your grip, before placing a leg over the frame to boost yourself out. In the fall, you turn your body to give them your back. You can feel the animal stirring scared under your arms, hugging him a little more, until bouncing twice on it. Your team helps you to get up when they leave you on the floor, unzipping your jacket to calm the dog crying, under the claps and the cheerings of the viewers there as if it was a fucking tv show. No, that’s not Chicago Fire mexicali version. That's real life, where you can die in just one second.

Your girls from the hospital unit grab the dog to put him in an air mask, checking that he’s okay while you take off the equipment with some help. Your boss spills a water bottle over you, when you are already off from the uniform to refresh your skin and your face.

“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT, (Y/N)?!”

“I COULDN'T LEAVE HIM THERE! WHY THE FUCK HE WAS LOCKED DOWN?”

You try to find the family between the patrols, the gossips and your team. But before you can find them being assisted by the paramedics, you find the crew. They’re assorted looking at you and, among them, Creeper on the brink of collapse. His face is the last thing you see before falter to the ground, with your heartbeat over the sky.

You have a deep breath, taking off the mask that covers your face, coughing and puking some salive over the edge of the hospital bed. Bewildered and stunned you try to focus your gaze, hearing a lot of voices like far echoes. The light is blinding you, putting a hand on your eyes and shaking your head, while the calls get clarified, finally hearing your name. A doctor takes off your hand to cheek your pupils and your throat. Apparently, you swallowed too much smoke and that provoked you to faint. You can hear how he talks with some men, assuring them that you’re okay and that you just need to rest.

“My mo-mouth… tastes like… ugh, shit”. You cough again, feeling some pain doing it. “Tastes like a fucking… ashtray”.

The soft laughs flood the room, opening slightly your eyes enough to see your boss, Bishop, Marcus and Creeper close to the bed. Your boyfriend sits on the edge, holding your hands and leaning forward to kiss your forehead, pulling away some bristles of your hair.

“Damn, mami… You scared the shit outta me…” He whispers with a low broken thread of voice.

“I bet you… were… fe-feeling hotter th-than that house, watching me in… action”. You mutter between some more coughs.

“(Y/N), how do you feel?” Carlos, your boss, comes closer to caress your left cheek.

“Ready to… work tomorrow, jefe”.

“Yeah, fuck you, (Y/N)”. He replies breaking into laughs. “I will sign your withdrawal for some days. Rest as much as you can, arai’?”

“Yes, daddy, I’ll… be a go-good girl”. You joke with him, before seeing him leave the room to keep your mates informed.

“Do you need anything, querida?”

“Nah, Bish… I’m just tired”. You answer trying to get up on your forearms with Creeper helping you to lie somewhat comfy. “Where’s the dog?”

“Frankie is taking care of him in the station, until you get out. He thought that maybe you wanted to adopt him”.

Your eyes go up to your boyfriend, twisting his neck assorted on caressing your hands.

“Neron?”

“Hm…?” Shaking his head, he comes back to the real world. “Yeah… Yeah, sure. We can bring him with us”.

“We will let you rest, mija”. El Padrino narrows one of your feet, sending you a kiss through the air before leaving the room and closing the door.

“You okay?” You ask then, coupling your body among Creeper's arms.

“You know…” The half mexican clicks his tongue, accommodating his head on the pillow lying down. “I like your job, it's cool and you save lives, but… I've never seen you working and that… shit really scared me, baby. Seeing you jump outta the window, the explosion after that…”

“Wait. What explosion?”

“You were leaving in the ambulance when it happened, I saw it through ma' mirror”.

“Aw, you were following me like a doggy?” You tease him hugging his back, and pecking his face.

“Shut up, crazy bitch… I was fuckin' worried thinking I've lost you”.

“Nah… not until you… motherfucker… ask me to marry you”. Pointing his chest with your forefinger, chuckling, you highlight every word. “Then, I can die”.

“Ain't gonna propose to you to keep you alive”. He says laughing, while you hit his chest with pursed lips. “I fuckin' love you, mami. If I lose you, I die”.

“Now you know how I feel every time you leave our home, Creeper”.

“Yeah, okay, but do you love me too or what? I'm trying to be fuckin' romantic”.

You laugh again between some coughs, covering your mouth with a hand.

“Let me show you how much, papi”. You mutter raising a leg over his waist, to push him closer.

“No, no, no… We ain't gonna fuck here”. He breaks into laughs, trying to survive to your puppy eyes. “Shit, no. Someone could enter…”

“And, what? I was about to die, they will understand it”. You sob trying to pity him.

“You can make any efforts”. He says pulling away your leg, but it comes back holding him tighter.

“Touch me at least… C'mon, Neron… please…”

“Baby, stop moving!” You can't help but rub your body against his, complaining with some noises.

“C'mon… Just a little… please”.

“Bab—”.

“C'mon! You know you will end up doing it…”

“Fuck… I fucking hate you, bitch”.

“Okay, douchebag, I get it. But touch me”. You beg him biting his lower lip.

“If you feel like you're dro—”.

“Fucking touch me, Neron”.

The man laughs softly, moving his hand on your waist down to your pelvis, tucking it under the green pants of the hospital. Creeper has the other arm surrounding your neck, while your fingers get tangled in his shirt as he's closer. His fingertips tour the fabric of your panties, pressing the center slightly moistened, licking your lips with his tongue before kissing you. Lying a little on the mattress, your boyfriend accommodates himself over one of his sides while you curl your right leg.

“Don' fuckin' scare me again, ah?” He whispers onto your lips, with his dark eyes fixed on yours. You just nod leaving a short kiss on his lips.

When you feel one of his fingers easily sliding into you, you can’t help but have a breath biting your lip. He does it slowly, enjoying every gesture on your face, pulling it back with the same pace to thrust you again. He’s torturing you, and you know it, as if it was a punishment for worrying him. But soon, his hand begin to move somewhat faster, containing some moans to avoid being heard by the doctors and the patients that walk through the hallway. Creeper loves when you fuck in public, hiding from the rest, and you have to try to be the most silent possible. Your hands press his head when he strokes your needy clit, gasping straight to his lips and closing your eyes for some seconds. Now it feels better than ever, having thought just for one second that it wouldn’t happen again.

“Do you think you can have another finger, ah?”

“Shit, yes, Creep'”.

A fleeting smile appears on his mouth, pounding you without expecting to be this fast. You have to collide your lips against his when you experiment that pleasure, bringing his hand to your limits, to drown a delighted scream. You're so wet that he can drown them inside your pussy without doing any efforts, fucking you as you begged some seconds ago. The fact that you can be caught for a nurse and that he's constantly drinking your gestures, maintaining your gaze with his, makes you feel out of control moving your waist against his hand.

“Fuck, papi…”

“You want a third?” He asks with his voice getting somewhat hoarsely.

“Please… Please”. You whisper with some difficulties because of your breath.

“Enjoy it, mami”.

The third finger gets digged into you harder, covering your mouth with a hand that your boyfriend slaps and takes to the back of his head.

“You asked for, carry with consequences”. He growls speeding up the moves of his wrist.

“Fuck, Neron…” You cry resting your forehead on his over the pillow. “Make me cum, please… I need you to do it”.

The half mexican kisses you, tucking his tongue inside your mouth in a filthy kiss, desperate for finding yours and mixing your salivas. One of the things he loves the most is when you beg him, being at the edge of the orgasm and spreading your legs for him, to do with you whatever he wants.

“Not yet, baby”. He denies shaking his head and pulling away his hands from your pants.

“'Fuck you doing, Neron?” You complain frowning, out of air. “If you don't finish, I'm gonna rip off every tat—”.

“Pull off your clothes”. He interrupts you chuckling, and grabbing your throat with his wet fingers.

Arching your back and sliding the pants and the panties through your legs, he helps you with the horrible green shirt.

“Open your legs”.

“Wh—”.

“(Y/N), open your legs”. He demands squeezing one of your thighs.

At the moment you obey, he settles himself between them crawling down your stomach without taking off his eyes from you. Sitting up on your forearms, lying against the bed backrest, Creeper sinks his face in your wet pussy sucking your clit in the meantime you place your legs over his shoulders. If there is something he does like a master is eating you out. His tongue toures your entrance and your clit with passion, pounding you with the same three fingers that started that game of being silent. He knows well what you like, how you like it and where he has to press to make you cum.

You can't help but place both hands on his head, caressing his back with your shaky legs, putting you closer from the ecstasy by hitting your g-spot with his long fingers. A soft moan escapes inevitably from your throat when his free hand finds your breasts, pinching one of your nipples, massaging and squeezing it brisling every inch of your skin. Your eyes are on him, watching how much he is enjoying pleasing you, but controlling your breathing to not make you cough. If you do it, he will stop and you will be lost. But you're okay. More than okay. His warm mouth devouring you is like touching the sky, the effort he makes to tease you and make you cry out his name, wanting someone to hear you. But you're an expert. He has done it a lot of times and you always win.

“I'm so close, papi…” You mutter with a trembling voice, arching slightly your back, when his fingers go harder and faster nailing in your wetness.

And it doesn't take you much more, covering your mouth with both hands and closing your eyelids, drowning his full name on your palms. Creeper pulls out his fingers, nailing both hands on your thighs, drinking your juices desperate to taste you until your body can't fight anymore against his lips sucking you out.

“Fuck, baby”. He says after leaving a last lick all over your pleased pussy with the full extension of his tongue, crawling up to your mouth while your legs get intertwined with his. “You're my favorite meal”.

“I want you to fuck me, please”. You beg him between some kisses, trying to recover the air. “I can feel you… so fucking hard, Neron…”

“Not until we're home”. He rejects you wrapping your body with both tattooed arms. “For the moment, settle for this”.

“Papi…”

“No”. He repeats biting your lower lip, rubbing the rigid fabric of his jeans against your wet core, making you moan again.

“You're wanting it as bad as I want it”.

“I just want you to get better. Then, I'll fuck my future wife all the time she asks me for”.

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[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Carls, what's good? Carly: me Ali: ooh, ok, love a bit of self-love Ali: ✝ or 😍 or 💊 or other good [please state] Carly: 🍆 Ali: 👌 noiceee Ali: anyone i know? Ali: nosy bitch i know but i'm living vicariously these days 😉 Carly: yea Carly: i cant tell tales outta school Ali: ugh Ali: boo! 😂 Ali: I'll have to stick to being excited Ro and Drew are back on... Carly: you can try Ali: 🔪💚 Ali: killing me Ali: need some good news gurl, if you can't tell me about your dickscapades then tell me something else for my posi vibes Ali: yeah? Ali: got a ☮ rep to maintain Carly: theres pills for that Carly: ill share Ali: aw, she really cares! 😘 Ali: i'm still attached to rio by the tit so can't Ali: bummer 😋 Carly: 🍼 her Carly: she old enough? Ali: breast is best baby and mine are spectacular Ali: depends on the kiddo, and whether you can or can't, if you can you usually do it to a year max tho, that's my goal so got a while yet Carly: dont rub it in 🔪 Carly: killing me now Ali: bitch please Ali: you're 😍 Ali: and clearly someone is loving it Carly: if youre trying something im tired Carly: wait Ali: i know you straight as hell, despite the bait honey 😂 you're good Ali: ? Carly: dont tell him that Carly: rep of my own Ali: how can I tell him? Ali: don't know who it is, do I? Carly: yea you do Ali: right Ali: what to do Ali: quandary man Carly: nothing Ali: I fear you're right Ali: not your fault, he won't listen and neither will she so Ali: but I should, yeah? what would you do Carls Carly: he listens to me thats far as i go Carly: keep out Carly: nobodys gonna thank you for sticking in Ali: and I'm not going to convince you arguing Ro's case, am I? Because- Ali: Yeah, I figured as much Carly: why Carly: she can talk to me herself if shes got something to say Carly: not your job Ali: she's not going to do that Ali: that isn't her, on so many levels Ali: its sister shit Ali: I'm supposed to at least try but its hard when I know they're wrong and that fighting it would be a losing battle Carly: i can not text him first Carly: but he'll text me Carly: not missing out i was here first Ali: I know Ali: Fun times, man Ali: can I ask you something? Carly: it is for me Carly: sorry for her but we have something Carly: yea Ali: that's what i wanted to ask Ali: kinda Ali: is it just the fucking and drug connecs? and there's no judgement there, that's enough if it is Ali: just curious honestly Carly: idk idc Carly: its good Carly: thats a shit word for it Ali: i get it Ali: it makes more sense than with Ro Ali: sorry, don't repeat that Ali: but I'm trying to work out the attraction Ali: collecting info like the nerd i am Carly: does he like her Carly: or just the chase cuz she dont put out Ali: I wish I knew Ali: There has to be something in it for him, doesn't there? Or, what the fuck is he doing Carly: id lie that its about me if thatd help Carly: but we arent that Ali: Nah? Ali: Maybe he don't fucking know either Ali: I'd ask but I'm not getting a straight answer so meh Carly: he doesnt use my name Carly: does he remember hers Ali: Like you said, she doesn't talk about that kinda thing, but I hope so Ali: I don't think Ro would deal if he didn't but what do I know Ali: you're cool with it? Carly: the answers there Carly: he must like her Carly: scared to wife her Carly: i dont have his tattooed on me either Ali: funny way of showing it Ali: fucking hell, more drama than my own 😂 Ali: good, i'm glad you're happy with it forreals, one less to worry about Carly: i miss him Carly: thats not for you to nerd over Ali: but he doesn't stop Ali: that's what drives me wild, he gets his cake and eats it too when he's with Ro too Ali: but preaching to the choir or whatever the fuck here Ali: sorry, wish I could tell Ro this, that's all Carly: hes not getting any cake from her Ali: is that what he's telling you? or just presumption? Carly: we dont talk about her Ali: okay well at least he's not bullshitting here Ali: 'cos nah girl Carly: not good shit k Carly: thats why he wants me so bad Ali: that's what i mean, so if he loves her and wants you, that'd be chill if Ro was cool with it but she ain't Ali: right Ali: know what I gotta do now at least Carly: but youre not ratting me out to him Carly: dont need that mood Ali: of course not Ali: like i said, you've done nothing wrong Ali: he's not trying to hide anything, i think she knows Ali: so its not gonna come back to you, it can't Carly: k Carly: i need him to come around Carly: whenever Ali: sounds like he will Ali: don't think anyone or thing is stopping him Ali: do you love him? Carly: no Carly: i Carly: we have fun Ali: alright Ali: good Ali: i hope he'll treat you better when all this shit gets sorted Ali: more fun, full time, what could be better? Carly: he's good to me Carly: 🍆 & 💊 Carly: no better Ali: you won't have to miss him Ali: for one Ali: or share Ali: 🍆 at least Ali: you'll have to always get in line for the 💊 Carly: there's always other girls Carly: get in line for him too Carly: sharing can be fun Ali: yeah? fairplay Ali: do you get to bring other boys Ali: or is it just other girls for him Carly: why would i wanna bring other lads in? he's the better fuck Ali: if you insist Ali: plenty of dick in the sea tho Carly: not for you Ali: but i'm wifey-ed Ali: that ain't you, like you said Carly: yea Carly: i know when im onto a good thing tho Ali: you ain't a good thing? Ali: or drew just a fool? 🤔😜 Carly: no im not Carly: ask around Ali: why not? Ali: i don't listen to the town goss, heaven help my self-esteem if I did Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: yeah yeah yeah Ali: I know I'm annoying tf out of you but can't be tamed Carly: me too Ali: 😂 Ali: bitchfight in woodwork? Ali: really rock their worlds Carly: yea Ali: just no tools okay Ali: i don't want permanent disfiguration Carly: only the tat Carly: k Ali: oh, you're conservative on skin art now? 🤔 Ali: got a kid honey, if he chucks me, that's the real glaring awkwardness Carly: shit true Carly: & id go for some ink Ali: let me let me! Ali: i've convinced you that i'm dead sane and aren't going to brand you with a red A, yeah? 🤪😉 Carly: come over and do it Ali: yeah? Ali: lets do this Ali: think what you want Carly: draw what you wanna Ali: 🙌🙏 Ali: have you been sent by god herself?! Carly: or her boy Carly: isnt that who the devil is? her bf Ali: 🤨 Ali: imma give you a theology 101 whilst i'm there too Ali: the real story is lowkey better, trust Carly: idk the porno was good shit Ali: rule 34 baby Ali: i'll draw you that Ali: not on you Ali: unless you're REALLY vibing Carly: whats rule 34 Ali: if it exists, there is porn of it 🤓 Ali: fun game Ali: think of the most outlandish fucked up shit you think no one would think of, search it on pornhub Ali: drink if it exists Carly: ive done that Carly: it is fun Ali: high 🖐 Carly: tomorrow? Carly: bring the kid if its a thing Ali: fosho Ali: playdate! 😜 Ali: might have a gran on duty but cheers if not Carly: k Ali: imma sketch Ali: where do you want this Carly: idc Carly: use the space you wanna Carly: gotta have a 34 in there tho now Ali: absolutely Ali: lucky number Carly: yea Ali: do it in mandarin or something so you can be #deep and #classy Ali: keep 'em guessing gurl Carly: 🔪 im dead Ali: ☠ i'll write a beautiful eulogy on your corpse Carly: aw Ali: i ain't drew but want me to bring any goodies Ali: aside from aformentioned tits Carly: hitting with all the qs you know the answers to Ali: aw honey i'm flattered Ali: #whenshegoesbiforyou Ali: i'll see what i can do 😉 Carly: can't wait

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Poor Pablo

Jimmy: You here? Janis: standing to attention, like Janis: what's up? Jimmy: Can I stay at yours tonight like? Janis: 'Course, my Dad already extended the offer when he was trying to parent me lol Janis: Yours doing your head in? Jimmy: Seriously though? I'll sleep in the bath and try not to have Skerries flashbacks. Give a shit Jimmy: Yeah Janis: You don't have to Janis: though I've been told its comfier than you'd imagine if you're feeling it Janis: What's his damage...not ideal they had to call the parentals in but it is just detention, not a court date, y'know? Janis: I'd have figured out a way to take all the blame if I knew he'd go off Janis: Wank bank fantasy getting outta hand in the stalls? 🤔😉 Jimmy: It's an excuse for him to get at me, that's it Jimmy: Doesn't really matter what the drama is Jimmy: 😍 Proper romantic you 💕 Janis: Yeah Janis: Suppose it'd make a nice change to have you as the bad guy for once, eh? Janis: fuck that though Janis: Who me? Janis: never Jimmy: What d'you mean 😎👎💔 Jimmy: I'm so bad Janis: Very bad boy, NOT bad guy, waaaaaay different vibe Janis: Silly Jimmy: Good save Janis: Not a goalie or a superhero Janis: but Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: What time can I come over? Freezing here casually Janis: Come over now idiot Janis: Be doing me a favour anyway, be your charming self so I can escape the fam Jimmy: Done Jimmy: Want me to bring you anything? I'm thinking chips but no pressure Janis: Quite the offer Janis: but no need Janis: there's always so much food going in this gaff Janis: may as well help yourself Jimmy: Yeah? Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I'm just gonna get Cass to bring me some stuff out #doorstepdrama Jimmy: Like fuck am I gonna come back here any earlier than needs Janis: That's fun 😒 free entertainment for the neighbours, nice one 👍 Janis: at least Cass'll get a kick out of helping the outcast hero Janis: Best to let him have his paddy, yeah, he'll be begging you back when he can't figure out where the kid's school shoes are Jimmy: I wouldn't bother but I need my charger in case Bobby can't sleep. Cass shouldn't have to handle that on her own Jimmy: She's be the definition of #buzzing for this part at least Jimmy: Maybe Twix'll shit in his shoes this time, 'cause bitch be loyal Janis: Shame you can't bring them both but kidnap would technically be something to shout about Janis: They'll be alright though, she's a tough cookie and a smart kid Janis: Get Grace to facetime him a bedtime story, he'd love that and she'd feel like she's doing jackanory, like Janis: We can only hope girl comes thru Jimmy: He'll take her up on that if I don't. Boy is 💕 for Gracie Jimmy: You're not about to get off light though, Cass wants to hear from you that I'm alright Jimmy: My word isn't worth a damn apparently Janis: She ain't offering for you! Even if you're currently in her good books for taking a 🔥 photo, like Janis: Still not good enough to be her fave 🤷 Janis: Tough ground Janis: Well, she's got you there, you're not the best at using 'em 😏 100% taking the fact I'm being considered the reliable one for once Jimmy: You win this round Jimmy: Don't get too comfy with it though Jimmy: I am on my way Janis: S'lonely at the top Janis: Get on my level, boy 🥇 Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: rude Janis: biting the hand that feeds Jimmy: Learning from your true love like Janis: I won't stand such slander on her good name Janis: she's a revenge shitter only not a biter 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'm having a smoke, you joining me or am I coming knocking? Janis: Lungs won't thank me but Pablo would if he knew how close he was to getting a smackdown Janis: Save me some I'm running Jimmy: *He took it easy on this one (not for her sake, you snooze you lose, mate) having been puffing away consistently since he slammed the door on his dad's ranting 'cause he'd needed to calm down. Or shut down. Naturally, it crept up on him, as persistent, which is why he's here, huddled in another cold doorway, waiting for a distraction that'll have him forgetting the barney his dad started days before and wasn't done with yet. Argumentative prick. Jimmy was happy to let Janis have that win, the only where he wouldn't (and couldn't) compete being in this, in drowning out the shit with something that isn't. There's no hiding the smile when he sees her, if the shadows do let him get away with it, they won't for long 'cause he's closing the gap between them instantly, refusing as much of the space as he can without giving himself away for doing it as he passes the cigarette over.* Janis: *She takes the cigarette like its second-nature, kiss on his cheek, feeling the familiar dimple of his smile, like they are too. Far from it on both counts. She's not a smoker, she needs her lungs clear and strong. And she's not in love, same reasons for her heart. Simple as. Still, she could enjoy the benefits of both without committing, couldn't she? Why not. It's not like she's faking either, just...dipping her toes. Only likely to incur minor damage, she reckoned she could take that and still get away laughing. Sure. Long drag before passing it back because without needing to even look his way, (though she did regardless, studious expression taking in his tight, stressed as shit, posture right now), she knew he needed it more. Janis jogs her legs up and down, 'brring' in the cold Winter night air.* You alright then? *She adds, as if they're just meeting on her doorstep by chance, not for reason. She smirks, shaking her head at herself, nudging his side.* Jimmy: *With the cigarette back between his fingers and the girl by his side he gets what he needs, the familiarity a reminder that this is his normal, not what he rushed to leave behind. To pick up his girlfriend for dinner his dad will have to drop this, rely on moody silence to show how he really feels and his own fakery, in this woman's company, for what he thinks he should. They all know how to handle the first, years under their belts, and the second idea's even more temporary. Fuck it. Jimmy could make a single cigarette last longer than his dad's current relationships, and had done, sometimes. Not this one though. Nah. He wasn't the dickhead to keep his girlfriend shivering while he pissed about blowing smoke in the dark. He took a final drag before flicking it away to meet Janis's contact with his own, using his now free hand to gently brush a loose curl from her cheek.* Yeah, mate, you? Janis: *Janis scrunches her nose up, batting his hand away, mix of bashfulness and banter, blown with a raspberry. Turns out, sex is alright, stunning review there, indescribably better than alright obviously but- its the smaller, everyday moments of intimacy, that had flown under her radar when she wasn't receiving them, that she still finds herself flinching from, or covering up said flinch with some kind of bullshit she finds it easier to wear, to shoulder.* Fine. *She blurts out, flustered and being a little sharp with it. Get it together. More jokes, forever skirting around serious, not getting too real or too deep 'cos they both know there's no coming back and why ruin it and- She peers at him, like he's a dog in Crufts, pretending to shine a torn in his eyes, checking his teeth, that kinda shit.* Hmm, healthy enough specimen. Gonna give me anything else to give to your Sister though, like? Dunna if 'yeah' is gonna get her off the phone in a hurry, to be honest. Not that I give a shit, or nothin', don't get it twisted. *She grins, turning to the door and then back again, lingering, reluctant to open the door yet, knowing they'd get descended upon by someone almost immediately. All fun and games. Still, there wasn't a world in which she was gonna turn him down and have him out on the street, like. No way.* Jimmy: *He plays along as though it's still a game and why not? He's just admitted to himself how used to fakery he is, being a family trait like, with both of them for him to thank. Not that he's sparing a thought for his mum, first or second. Not now. He told himself no more slips with the girl beside him and meant that just as much. More. It's easier to stick to on every level, and he does, ruffling her hair fully when he gets the chance. Eyebrows raised and an expression of his own ready to wear. This, he can keep up all night, same as the exaggerated huff that he let's escape, like a Twix snore, into the night along with the shrug that follows.* Use your skills, throw in as many hashtags as it takes to put her at ease. Throw in a selfie if she still isn't convinced. Me sleeping sound should do it. * He's joking but not wrong for it, not able to remember a time when he fell asleep before the other two. Cass'd be beyond 'shook' to even see a fake out of him getting a good forty winks. Jimmy smirks through the thought, forcing it to pass.* You got this, girl* He retorts it in the best mimicry of how Mia and that crowd speaks that his accent can do, wincing slightly both at the impression and idea of them being around. Still, he claws some of his 'clout' back with a challenging look that adds 'What else have you got.' 'cause who are they if there's not a challenge ongoing. As if to emphasis this, he goes towards the door himself, pushing it open with more daring than he actually feels. * Gonna invite me in then, or what? Janis: *She kisses her teeth angrily, full on 'boy, if you don't stop-' vibes, planting a balled fist in his stomach, gentle warning like, no need to assault him before the family saw to it with their over-the-top nature and curiosity. She knew it would but it was getting to her more than she imagined even. The cooing and awwing or the piss-taking and wink-wink nudge-nude of it all, whatever approach they took, why did they have to? What business was it of theirs? Of anyones? Why did there always have to be a song and dance about everything? The hot takes she'd never ask for. Ruined everything. Why did they care? About this? About her? Just fuck right off. Messy. Too messy. Family, feelings- fuck it all. She used to kid herself, couple of years ago, when it happened, that she'd move out as soon as she could and that'd be it. They'd leave her alone. And she could just exist. Run, sleep and repeat. And that is all she'd have to do. No thinking or feeling ever. But she knew better now. They weren't just going to disappear, even if she changed postcodes. Even Edie couldn't manage that. And she had really tried. The others didn't want to. So she was stuck. Here in the land of the living. Forced to participate, like it or not. Then Jim had come along. Made her like it, a little bit, like. And he'd made her think maybe she could add to her shortlist of approved activities. But let her think about that for too long and she always came to the same conclusion; that she was a fucking idiot and it'd all end in tears. She sighed, overexaggerating it last minute to pretend it was in reply to his showy huffing and puffing.* Not my skill-set, kid. You were always better at it than me. Not just the snappin', like. Right up until you jumped ship for a pretty face, #commitment. *She laughs.* But for Cass, I'll see what I can do. *Cringing at the accent-attempt and gasping in mock-horror at the invocation of Mia and co. (as if say their names three times and they'll appear to tell you your outfit is ugly) she puts a finger to his lips, pushing him behind her at the same time so she can lead the way in too.* Ta-dah! *She flourishes, with a shrug to say 'you asked for this' 'cos there was no hiding now. The downstairs open-plan, parentals unconvincingly 'busying' themselves in the kitchen. Iggy, Diego, Gus and (thank fuck, 'cos we know who's the likeliest to be a prick here) Pablo so far unaccounted for, Grace watching telly, curled up with her phone as per. Janis was ready to bolt up to her room, not so much as a hello but reckoned Jimmy wouldn't want the rep of being her 'rude boyfriend' (as concerned as he was with opinion clearly, bless) so she shouts out 'Jim's here', eyes on the stairs, giving them five seconds to respond before she was up 'em, like.* Jimmy: *The house makes him feel the same as it did the first time he was here once he's through the door again, thankfully though the urge to whistle is muted today, full of sobriety as he is, in every sense. He knew her family weren't renters in over their heads like his from day 1, it isn't just that like. He isn't just some reverse snob, it's everything here they haven't had to buy, and he couldn't if he had armfuls of cash. The 'vibe' he'd probably call it if he was Grace or her crowd. Still, he nods at everyone about as if it's common place for him to him to be greeted by a warmth that's nowt to do with temperature.* Evening. *He's got his smile back on but Jimmy's hand is scratching the back of his neck before he can stop it giving him away and all he can do is 'reckon' on Janis being too caught up on her own family dynamics to call him out for his lack of. That's the real #goals, isn't it? He thinks to himself, trying to shake these feelings off him without moving. Or sighing. You massive dickhead. Grace waves at him without looking up from her phone screen, a slice of his home life #relatable enough he can follow her sister's gaze with a decent smirk and a readiness to deal with what's gonna come down. Need's must had him here in the first place, alright, but now he's made it as far as asking to be let in, he'd like to stay. Not only be a grumpy twat Janis is stuck with, but a laugh she wants to stay about. In her gaff and out of it. When nobody immediately appears he heads up himself, not forgetting her insistence to lead the way before, he looks over his shoulder at her, obvious with it that's there's nowt for her to do now but keep up.*  Unlucky, mate. You're not getting off that easy, we've got a whole night ahead. Janis: *Janis is holding herself rigid, eyes fixed as tight and strong on her parents letting them know in no uncertain terms to behave...and they did? Leaving it at cheery hellos and promises of dinner being done in about half an hour if they fancied it. Hm. First time for everything. Letting disbelief at their ability to be normal for once in their friggin' lives (where had this been all the other times she'd begged them/the universe for it?!) carry her up the stairs behind Jim. She let him flounder in the burrow-like corridors of upstairs, so different to the openness of the downstairs, that'll teach you to go ahead, boy, she thought with a smirk, now pushing in front with arms wide open.* Pick a door, any door! *She laughed, heading to her own before he actually did, not knowing who was in.* Welcome to my humble-abode... *She added, as they were over the threshold, kicking her gym bag, over-spilling with laundry, aside. She sat down on her unmade bed to assess, from outsiders, from his, eyes. Not here enough anymore that it was critically messy, that was good; old posters covering up old holes in the plaster from older anger, nothing cringe, thankfully but- It was a bit sad, to be honest...bare, lacking...anything, personality, life. She sighed. Red-faced from embarrassment and redder still from anger at feeling that embarrassment. She didn't care about herself, yeah. And what? And what is that her room said as much in no uncertain terms and having him see it was just- well. Shaming. Time for a joke.* If this setting don't get you in the mood, I don't know what will. Jimmy: *10 kids, he reminds himself, when he reaches the top and is met with an upstairs that belongs to a different house. That disconnect continues, growing, when Janis opens one of the doors in the maze. Hers. He's got no room to judge, none of his house looks lived in yet, as if Cass can protest having to by refusing to help unpack, knowing he doesn't have (or want to make, 'cause there's enough stuff in there for it to be boring, but then there's what's missing too, which is worse. Depressing.) the time to tackle the unopened box on his own after months. He isn't. Judging, that is. But he can't stop himself looking about, eyes focusing again on what there is, and isn't. What it means. And doesn't. Fuck. What a pair, they are like. Jimmy has to say something, silence will have her thinking all kinds of shit that isn't right. Least of all that he's a twat. Which, sort of is. He's equipped to be that though, which is something. He can easily grin at her, fall into simple, old habits. Banter by numbers that'll be #nodrama for her to throw back at him. 'Cause whatever his dad might think right now, he's not the dickhead trying to make everything harder. Why would he? The day to day shit already has that covered. So he aims his biggest 'heart eyes' at her, from the earliest days of their fakery, hiding any real expression in the over-the-topness of it all, for her as much as him (he tells himself, without needing much convincing with the blush spotted. It isn't thanks his charms, they both know. But in a second they can pretend it's his cringe factor.)* Only got eyes for you, babe. We could be anywhere. *Still, even as he's mocking himself with mimicking throwing up in his mouth, before she can, naturally, passed that, somewhere real he's deciding that should she suggest getting out of here to elsewhere tonight he's not about to fight it. Wherever they end up. #nocringe. It'd be too much of a lie to act like asking to come here was too much and everything that's come after, as a result, is too. He shouldn't have done it and there's no wonder everything's been off since. Her room could be the same as downstairs and he wouldn't wanna stay there, would he? It's his 'vibe' fucking things. Cheers dad. Jimmy sighs, throwing himself on the bed, and turning it into the appreciative whistle he didn't do at the door. Fucking hell.* Janis: *The eye-roll comes so hard it has her reeling, spinning out in her own head. At least, its better for them both if she pretends that's what's got her feeling dazed and disorientated. Sick with not knowing how to play this. No 'oh my, a boy in my room!' giddiness, fuck that shit. It was 'oh my, having to spend time in this depressing pit'. And his hand forced to spend his time here too. It'd be different if he had wanted to. Maybe. Okay, probably not. But if he had wanted to then they really wouldn't care where they were, paying no mind to anything but each other, not like his car was a lambo or like she'd given two fucks then, so it might've been tolerable. Ignorable, at the very least. But he HAD to be here. Nowhere else to go. That paired with how this room inadvertently showed all her cards had her feeling as bare as their surroundings, #exposed as they would say for the craic. Not that she was mad at him for not begging to sleepover just 'cos he wanted her so bad, again, fuck that shit hard. Not that girl. Everything was just weird and off and it didn't lend itself to a good night's sleep for either of 'em, she was willing to bet. She shrugged, those muscles so overworked, never skipped, massaging at the tension there in vain. Bounced from the dramatic way he flung himself down, she rests herself down on her elbow beside him, face to face.* If you want, we can go to the Barn. Its kitted out, like- *She pauses, thinking back on the times when it had been a place they all made Diego's films together, the times it had been Edie and Rio's bedroom, sneaking in there with them, leaving Grace alone in the dark of their old shared room. Now, well- She spent even less time in there than she did here. Only venturing when it was so dark and she felt so alone, it just felt right to hide out in there; harking back to all those many nights she'd sneak out, praying Edie would be there again, and to the one night, she was. Tucked up in her bed as if she'd never left. As if she wasn't really there. But she was. She was. And she'd gestured for her to get in with her and they'd just held each other...Janis holding on for dear life, determined to NEVER let go, so she couldn't leave again. She thought she felt the same desperation, in the way her big sister clutch to her too, almost hurting her but she would have never of complained. Determined to keep her in sight, eyes wide open and staring into hers, barely visible in the dark but there. She was there. Of course, she had fell asleep, and of course, when she awoke, the sun was up and Edie was gone. She was just a fucking kid, like. 'A fucking failure is what you were. And are.' She shook her head. At least the barn HAD memories, more than you could say of the box room she'd relegated herself too. No longer able, or needing to share with anyone. Not Grace. Or Rio and Edie. They'd all gone. Empty rooms to fill.* All mod cons and a comfy bed, like. But you can keep that between us and add to your sob story, yeah? *She mimics the tiny violin he was always sending, #IRLShade like, hoping the piss-taking would distract from the disjointed nature she'd made that offer in. Ghosts refusing to let her go, let her be with him fully. She never could be. It was the sad kind of hurt when you just know, know that whatever you're doing, or want to do, won't work. And knowing this and knowing you're gonna hurt the other person, so far so clueless. Oh, Jim. Why do you think I was on my own when you met me, boy?* Jimmy: *He's fucked it instantly, looking at her too hard, all the bollocks stripped back and away by how close she is, suddenly, though he should have expected it. Not like her bed's big enough for anything much else, but he never does, somehow. Still. Ever. Breathing hurts but he forces himself not to keep it shallow, refusing to swap places so soon when she was meant to be the one swooning. Fake or not. And there's so much real shit he wants to say, but can't. Again, too much. It leaves him only inhaling and sighing, brooding like the kinda poser he isn't trying to be on any day. Least of all this one. Does it matter though? It doesn't feel like it when his hand drops before it can reach out, touch her in any way, jokes as out of bounds as anything. He isn't meant to be lost with her, but tonight doesn't give a fuck about that, does it? He jumps on the offer a change, nodding, frantic for a kick that'd have him behaving like less of a dick. Please. The fucking break he hasn't asked her for is there, inching closer to letting itself be said, and he's scared of that, going there like.* Alright. *He wants to give himself a smack for how quiet he sounds. Serious. Okay knobhead, calm it. Good luck following that through when you know you've got none though, Jim. He's up and taking her hand before he can dwell on it, moving to take the lead as far as retracing their steps and being out. He can handle that geography. Jimmy does allow himself a pause small enough only to draw a cross over his heart playfully once she's played the violin for him. Thanks, mate. It's almost spoken aloud 'cause of the relief the familiarity of it , brought here and now, comforts him. Alright, calm it again, tosser. But yeah, that works, letting him. He walks stretching their linked hands as far as possible while staying connected, laughing genuinely, still soft but out there. He draws a quick tick over the same space, hurriedly.* Done. Janis: Alright. *She confirms with a nod as serious as his close-to-silence was. Couldn't accuse him of being a man of too MANY words usually, like, but still, spoke volumes, didn't it? Could write friggin' volumes on how badly she was fucking it up with him now. That's what you did after break-ups, right? Write wanky (in all the ways) poetry. Fuck that. Get the fuck out of your own head, fucking eejit! Now! He's still here yet. She seized the conversation by the balls, 'fore it got away from her grasp again, immediately adding-* Alright, alright, alright! *Matthew McConaughey style. 'Cos Christ, someone had to cut through the tension and she weren't about to invite the fam up to give it a go. Fuck that, too. Even if it was awkward as arse, to say the least, and the dead and buried past was unearthing itself just to try drag her under tonight- she still wanted it to be just them. Him and her, fuck the rest. And that was something. Even if that was all she could get, all she still had. She'd cling to that with bleeding, broken nails, jaw clamped, teeth sunk deep in the flesh of it. It was something. She was so fucking used to, so fucking sick of, nothing. A promise, or a prayer, she repeated it over and over, 'til she near believed it herself. With this in mind, she pulls on the hand that is leading her, pulls him back, understanding his rush and only wanting to slow it for one thing. She mimics shooting him where he had been tracing, where she wants to trail her own fingers badly, as he draws in, she puts her fist over his heart, thumping up and down, up and down, before exploding out- And with that, she kisses him, as desperate as he was to take up her offer and run, she needed this more. And she had never known anything she needed more than to run. But she did. She did.* Done. *She mirrors, drawing her lips away from his, with a smirk. Ahead again, one foot on the top step.* Jimmy: *He's about to descend back into mockery, the words 'all about the obscure refs, you' there, ready to go if he's willing to release them, thoughts already going backward, onto the typed convo where she tried to give him an artsy education, school him about muses, all of that, but before he can take the step she's pulling him, literally to where she's forced a stop. In the first second he's tense, thinking it's a full one, that she's done with him and the company he isn't being tonight, but before he can fall further into his pit (he's in there enough, prior that she's tried to dig at him with her best McConaughey, for fuck's sake) he all but floats out. There's no # that could cover this in his stunted imagination, he thinks, before his brain shuts off. The kiss is more than the break he didn't have the balls to ask for (though it lasts about as long as the one he'd gave her, standing on some twat's marble floor). It's a separation from all the shit that's been running him ragged for days, forcing him to run here in the first place. Jimmy knows then that he'll stay, has to, not 'cause there's nowhere else to go, but 'cause nowhere else exists when she kisses him like that. Fuck. It basically escapes, not as the word, but in sound that he can't escape either. Doesn't want to. The only thing he cares about is keeping this close to her and knowing she's alright with him being there. More than fucking alright like.* Nah mate *He retorts breathlessly, clawing back some strength back only as his hands find her hips and use the grip he's found there to spin her body round to face him. He isn't done yet, there's no chance. Not now she's given him one to erase the last few days and land him back into decent ones with her. Jimmy's an echo of how he was after running from Mr Lucas and he's not letting go of that. What for? 'Cause his dad wants him to. Fuck that and fuck him. What was he done with was feeling like shit. So of course he kissed her again, sinking only into the depths of that, trying to say everything with it that he couldn't verbally. Needing to have a go even though it meant hearing Janis' clatter into the beginnings of the banister with the force of everything he was desperate for her to know, 'cause if he pulled back then that'd be it and he's not having that. Fuck no. He's lost enough, tonight's bed being the least of it. Janis: *If she was going to complain, (she wasn't), he doesn't give her the time, or space, to do so. Exactly what they both needed; and she didn't need to reckon that. Crashing together, crashing into the wall, like. No room for anything to come between 'em, not their thoughts or past or any of that bullshit; all blurring into background nothingness, where it belonged. In these moments, there was nothing but them and their need. And it was good. Really good. The kind of good she didn't need to second-guess or overthink. Just be in it and soak in every second, every touch, the heat and feel of his skin against hers, alive, human, real. The violence of the urgency, the competitive one-upping- Not only keeping it interesting (to say the fucking least) but keeping it as something she could understand, something that didn't scare the living shit out of her, frankly. Easy as breathing, this; Though both theirs was heavy now, laboured from the control of letting some of said go, whilst not losing themselves to it so wholly that they alerted someone to it, spoiling their fun for the second time in a week. A game of meeting every kiss of his with more, and then some. Biting, tugging at his bottom lip in, trying in vain to make the kiss even deeper. Nails dug into his shoulders, pulling him down with her as her back slid down the wall, him sat at the top of the stairs, her on his lap. 'How did you stop yourself though?' A faint voice in the back of her mind pondered, with no intention to found within her. Clearly, they needed the Mr. Lucas' of the world or they'd never get anything else done. Clearly channeling the man himself, Pablo chose this time to appear out of his room, quite literally stumbling onto the scene, and them, Janis sticking out an arm (and jumping off Jim's lap) with lightning reflexes so he didn't topple down the fucking stairs.* Oops, watch it... *She didn't have time (nor desire) to be embarrassed. Her older Brother's mumbly, half-asleep grumbles of 'a-fucking-gain? Really Janis?!' and promises to 'have words with you, later!' to Jim, had her creasing. When Pablo was out of sight, and out of mind as soon as, she rested her head on the shoulder she'd left nailmarks in, kissing it gently though she wasn't particularly sorry about it.* Jimmy: *It isn't until she has to save him from hitting the bottom of the stairs with a thud that he even sorts out in his head again where they are, beyond the abstract bollocks of 'together' and all that. It takes that much to get through to him, but he isn't sorry, 'cause he isn't alone in it. If he's falling, figuratively as well as the near literal, then she is too. And that's alright by him. More than fucking alright, as per like. Jimmy can laugh through this interruption, at what it takes to pull them apart now (unlucky Mr Lucas but you probably won't cut it next time) adding to it himself with the breathless whisper of 'fucking hell, mate' that finds only her ear as he shakes his head affectionately at the pair of 'em. Janis' brother's appearance (along with anything he might have said) forgotten as soon as it's happened, same as before. If they'd been any room for it he might have felt bad for the lad, keeping mugging him off like that, but he still wants what he wants. Needs, honestly. There's no forgetting, or ignoring that any 'itch' has only been scratched so far as to make it more 'itchier', more noticeable in the first place. It's a crap analogy but it's what's there as he pulls her down the stairs and back towards the door, rougher and noisier that he would if he could make a string of thoughts or words fit together properly to promise her that this still isn't done. Jimmy 'reckons' in a semi coherent idea that he'll barricade the barn door with any or all manner of shit, once they are there,  to guarantee no more interruptions tonight. Bet on that, mate, his expression says, as they go. Jinx. Fuck. He almost kicks the door in frustration upon hearing the shout for dinner, her dad's head catching them as 'ready' for it. Pfft. No chance. It smells good, yeah, but there's no contest. Janis feels, looks and smells incredible like. Meals can wait, they always did at his, even when he had his mum there to do his job of moving a tray of something from freezer to cooker, or his pop's of fetching a takeaway when in from work, there was no sitting down at a this or that time. No table to eat at either, just the sofa, or his bed when he was being the type of utter dickhead that only a certain age manages, whenever it was put in front of him. Here at Janis, that time, was right now. And worse, ('cause of course there's worse with his English luck) before he can do a dash that'd have that school day looking like slo-mo, his stomach rumbles, sealing the deal and their fates. His girlfriend has never let him go hungry yet. Shit. To be continued then.*