#i don't want to tag nesta as either anti or regular

[lily-mj-fae]

I’m done accepting Nesta’s pedestal. As long as people want to ignore Elain’s intentions with Nesta, then Nesta deserves to have her intentions ignored too. And Feyre. And everyone else. Elain was not a villain here in acosf. Was she perfect? No. Was she going out of her way to cause harm though? No. She was doing what she thought was best, just as Nesta had once for her.

No, Elain’s actions in ACOSF are not good. While Nesta needed some intervention (and I’ve seen the theories that perhaps the amount she spent on that particular night as a cry for help and maybe? but that’s for another post) there were better ways to handle it than locking her away in the house of wind. And Elain, if she thought it was best, but wanted to show Nesta support, should have been there. I might be able to understand why she’d volunteer to pack Nesta’s stuff. Why she might not have wanted to be there. But honestly, we all agree I think, that at least in that moment, she maybe should have been. 

And upon visiting Nesta, Elain wasn’t going to visit to hurt Nesta. I think we all know that. What’s more likely is that Elain had heard that Nesta had started to make progress, and wanted to visit her. And yes, perhaps naively hoped for more than was likely given the short time. But Elain is an optimist. And We already know that she is perfectly capable of logically knowing better, but hoping for something else and getting burned (aka knowing that things with Graysen are likely over, but hoping that perhaps he loved her enough to still love her and they could make it work, then getting burned by his rejection). The same thing happened here. Did she going in logically knowing that Nesta was still going to be angry? Yes. Did she also likely have hope that maybe she and her sister could start to talk again? Yes.

When Elain is there to visit, she’s happy to see Nesta. She smiles. She compliments Nesta. And although Nesta thinks Elain doesn’t hug her because she doesn’t want to, I think it’s Elain recognizing that she might get rejected for it. She and her sister have barely spoken, it’s likely Nesta might not want that hug. And she asks a genuine question about Nesta’s wellfare.

The easiest way i can think to explain it is (and i am aware it’s far from a  perfect analogy, but the point is there): Your parents plan a trip. You don’t want to go. Maybe it’s a trip to visit your boring uncle who smells like soup. And his house is small. And you won’t even have any videogames to play. But when you get there, you make friends with the neighbor kid. And you start to hang out. And sure, maybe the first little bit of the trip you’re still not happy to be there, but you found something that you at least can enjoy. And by the end of the trip, you had a blast and you’re begging to go back, sad to leave.

So when Elain asks if Nesta is enjoying her time, it’s not stupid. Nesta was getting to do stuff in the library. Elain knows that Nesta loves books. She likely thought that perhaps, Nesta would find joy there. She gave Nesta an opening to a dialogue. She’s not wrong in thinking that Nesta might not be miserable the whole time. In fact, we know she hasn’t been. She’s started to find that peace.

And yes, the retort about how Nesta was handling her trauma. Totally off key. Not the way to handle it. But if Nesta is allowed to take her anger out on everyone around her because of her trauma (since so many people do excuse her behaviour with that. Not everyone, but there’s too much of it), then Elain is allowed to have a minor outburst as her sister drags up her own trauma. (Because Nesta wrongly assumes Elain’ is healed...but I think we know better). And Elain couldn’t even properly finish her jab. And it’s not like Nesta didn’t fire right back. It’s not like Nesta didn’t go for the jugular. Elain wasn’t trying to hurt Nesta. Nesta was trying to hurt Elain.

I also want to bring up a parallel. We see Nesta constantly putting herself in Elain’s way when it comes to people wanting to ask Elain for help, or Elain wanting to help. She will take Elain’s role in those situations all in the name of her protecting Elain. No one comments on the fact that when Nesta is being asked to help, when Nesta is wanting to say no, Elain steps forward. Elain offers to put herself in that position that Nesta doesn’t want. It’s protecting Nesta the way Nesta protected her. Of course Nesta rejected it. And fandom is mad at Elain for calling Nesta out on that when Nesta had previously blamed her for living a simple life. 

And now lets get to the other “worst offense”. Solstice. Was the comment about Nesta being paid to be there called for? No. No it wasn’t. The comment about Feyre? Yes. I do think it was. And it wasn’t to be mean to Nesta. It was because there was stress with Feyre. Elain was trying to protect Feyre. And after everything that had happened, how little Nesta had seen her sisters in the time between everything AND how Nesta had been behaving around them, yes. That was a consequence of her taking her anger out on her family. 

See, if you look at Elain’s intentions behind everything, you grow to understand (as people grow to understand Nesta’s behavior) that she’s not out to hurt Nesta. But she doesn’t have experience making choices that have big impacts. She’s been exceedingly sheltered. And She doesn’t make perfect decisions because she’s not perfect. Neither is Nesta. And while in the end they weren’t great, none of Elain’s actions there caused much lasting harm to Nesta. 

But yeah. They’re intentions. They only mean so much. BUT if you’re going to ignore Elain’s intentions in her actions with Nesta here. You have to ignore Nesta’s intentions with her extreme protection of Elain that led to isolating Elain and made the situation worse. Not better. We know Nesta was trying to protect Elain. We know she was doing what she thought was best. The same is true of Elain here. Elain was trying to help Nesta. Doing what she thought was best. But it’s very obvious Elain wanted Nesta to be happy, to find happiness and healing, even if it was away from her. Didn’t include her.

#elain archeron #acosf #i don't want to tag nesta as either anti or regular #just #because i'm not saying this to hate her #but more the people that make exceptions for her and no one else