#i dont think im a saint i do complain a LOT especially about people

[knucklehe4d]

realizing a lot of the friendships i felt insecure about i always perceived them thinking i was weird and everything i said was a wrong dialogue option but i dont feel that way with like. other people or my bf so i dont think its cringe of me to just dip if anything if you dont feel comfortable with people youve known for years maybe thats a sign things are not great

#im just noticing i freak out about everything i say and i overthink things with certain people #it reminds me of being at work #as much as im like. i know they cared about me i just was quick to dip cause i dont handle confrontation or blatant slander well without #freaking tf out #i really dont think they all cared about me too much except for maybe 1 or 2 of them #i do think about these things sometimes when im alone at night #cuz it didnt use to be this way #but if your friends are quick to turn on you and not hear your side of things. theyre not worth your time #i understand being mad or whatever and reacting to things but if u really did value someone u wouldnt do that #or at least i wouldnt #i dont think im a saint i do complain a LOT especially about people #but again. it goes without saying #anyways. idk. i think too much #and idgaf if people sc this or whatever its my fucking blog i can talk about whatever i damn well please #i have no one to talk to about any of it so the only thing i can do is talk to a brick wall on here and cope

[the-jesus-pill]

wanted to share an experience i had as an ex christian, probably apostate? idk man i was complaining in a friend's server because a christian friend of mine has been repetitively excluding me from things simply because i am not a christian, and because im queer and trans, and then is upset when i don't really feel like inviting her to stuff. i referred to christianity as a joke, and my friend who owns the server i was complaining in deleted my messages and dmed me to inform me i "complain about christianity too much and i'm probably hurting people's feelings and i need to stop it now" (it had been 3 months since i last complained about christianity in that server) i have had multiple people come to me and tell me i can't hate christianity, despite the fact that i am a victim of abuse, mental and physical, in the church, despite the fact that i have religious trauma. apparently, their right to religion means i can't dislike them? i dunno i was told i "cannot call christianity a joke", and then earlier this morning i witnessed a 12 year old child asking a bunch of older christians for forgiveness for being "selfish" enough to ask for prayer for themselves. if christianity is not the biggest joke i've ever seen, i dont know what is.

Yikes, that's awful. I'm sorry that happened to you. The friend of yours who is excluding you based on your (lack of ) beliefs and queerness? She's not a friend at all. I suppose she's not very fond of the 'do unto others' rule either.

Regardless, you have the right to dislike christianity, especially after having lived through it. Your feelings, your trauma is valid and no one gets to tell you otherwise.

Unfortunately a lot of outsiders (read: people who have never been too close to the religion) don't get what the fuss is about. Most of them see christians as these benevolent, charity-working, praying saints whose biggest flaws are perhaps being a little too prude sometimes and they will fail to understand the amount of lies, gaslighting and manipulation that comes with their beliefs.

In their eyes, christians did nothing wrong and hating on them is "unfair" or "uncalled for".

Sometimes it's just willful ignorance.

I would reconsider putting yourself in a space where people have continuously invalidated your feelings, or at least distance yourself emotionally from them. Of course the choice is up to you in the end, but I advise to think about your mental health. It's better to have fewer friends or work on finding new ones than having friends who refuse to take you seriously or stand up for you.

I hope it works out for you anon! There will always be better people out there who will support and love you the way you are!

#felix speaks #asks #anonymous #exchristian #apostate #religious fuckery