#i have DONE THIS haha hey Fiance Of Mine Who Reads My Posts

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

i still have not gotten to ketsu itself let alone post ketsu but.... ive seen Sources that say that after ketsu, izaya was left with pretty severe ptsd after shizuo nearly killed him... so a post-ketsu shizaya relationship would probably have izaya's ptsd flaring up- it's not something izaya can control, its just an instinctive thing... shizuo and izaya cuddling in bed but shizuo's hand brushes the exact wrong spot on izaya's back, izaya having nightmares and shizuo grappling over wether or not to wake him up because if he wakes him up, izaya will react on instinct and shizuo cant bear to see him so afraid of him, and he knows its selfish and cowardly to keep izaya asleep but ht just cant bring himself to do it and have his heart broken like that; he entrusted it to izaya and he cant bear the heartbreak, even if izaya didn't mean to break his heart

and of course izaya would know shizuo's thoughts on this and would try desperately to suppress his ptsd, which ends up making it erupt violently when it does flare up. izaya would absolutely hate the lack of control he has over his actions and how the ptsd he never wanted will end up pushing shizuo away from him

(i do still attest that izaya was mentally ill before the ketsu-related ptsd- even to the point of possibly already having ptsd- but the ketsu stuff is overpowering him because its new and the wounds are still raw, and shizuo is right there to give his trauma-addled brain a constant reminder of being so close to death)

#shizuo heiwajima #izaya orihara #orihara izaya #heiwajima shizuo #shizaya #durarara #and shizuo finding out that there is therapy that can help izaya walk again but izaya refused it #and intentionally sits in a way that hurts his legs #like. thats selfharm like. i dont care what anyone says #thats literally selfharm. #i have DONE THIS haha hey Fiance Of Mine Who Reads My Posts #and also my Brothers Who Read My Posts As Well #ive literally done this #intentionally shifted to or stayed (usually stayed) in positions #that made my knee pain flare up #as a form of selfharm #seeing izaya do it.... Thats Selfharm Babe!! #he may not be a cutter (as far as we know) but what hes doing IS a form of sh #shizuo would be so heated over it #im not sure if hed drop the 'this is selfharm' bomb but he would see it for how unhealthy it is #i see places that say izaya did this so he wont run from people anymore #but this is an insanely unhealthy way to do it #hes just self flagellating at this point and i think it would make shizuo feel sick #that his actions caused this to happen #and of course izaya wouldnt want him to know #but shizuo would find out anyway becuz hes not stupid #i think post ketsu shizaya has a lot of ~fun~ possibilities #wrt izaya newly crumbling mental health #and very blatant selfharm #waposts