#i know im super not on linkposts but okay imma throw in one more to the concoction

[trolls-poppy-specialist]

Carmen Sandiego (2019) line decomposition

"A part of me hopes that he doesn't."

Carmen wants Shadowsan to be able to rekindle things with Hideo, but the fact she says that it's only 'a part of' her that wants that kind of shows her attachment to him. We know that she's had encounters with him during The French Connection Caper and then in The Hot Rocks of Rio Caper he starts to subtly 'transfer' to her side, betraying VILE, but somehow in the process she seems to have this cling to him. I personally think it's because Shadowsan was the one who failed her and tried to stop her escape, but when he starts to seemingly 'care' about her she wants to start their relationship anew.

She seems to have this defensive/vulnerable position (arms crossed and nearly curled up in the shape of a ball, which is usually a human defence mechanism), and from the surface you can tell she's miserable/worried/nervous because she doesn't want to lose her newfound connection with Shadowsan. Part of me wonders if she seems to have some defensive rebellion to this thought to tell herself that she'll live with what she has even if it breaks her heart.

Honestly, this part is relatable because I myself sometimes want to get on good terms with people who I'm on a bad note with, so the urge to just do whatever you can to keep a hold on them is really strong.

Carmen sees Shadowsan as one of her parents/ her father figure, which she really needs in her life because her biological father is deceased (sorry).

How I see it is that she wants to have her old life back. A supportive family, caring teammates, a blissful life. It's a stark contrast to what I believe is going on in her mind- no family (or the horrible realisation her family is evil and using her for their own good), having to battle her teammates and former family almost every day/caper, and a rocky life full of ups and downs (mostly downs...?). So any chance she gets, she's willing to take it and try to change her fate.

She doesn't want to go on defeating her old family and friends, but with the world in danger choice isn't a factor. If she stops, the world is basically just dead. She doesn't want others to suffer under their torturous hand. But on the way some things (such as Shadowsan) come, unexpected and sudden, holding the opportunity to cause change, and she just takes it and gives her all into changing her life.

So her desperation to change her old relationships (and as a result, her life) shows in this line.

#carmen sandiego #carmen sandeigo 2019 #carmen sandeigo netflix #carmen sandeigo #carmen sandiego 2019 #i swear #i know im super not on linkposts but okay imma throw in one more to the concoction #gurlie has ptsd to me #and anxiety #trust issues #abandonment issues #shadowsan #hideo #the daisho caper