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#i think my brain is sometimes running on a deadline that doesn't exist
skitskatdacat63
·
4 months
Text
I need to remind myself often it's okay to take as long as I need to work on projects/drawings
#dangerous grind mindset territory >:(
#i get so weird abt wips like
#unless its extremely relevant no one is gonna care rly how long it takes
#like if someone shared a wip with *me* and they took a while to finish it or never finished it
#id still be like ahhhh so cool
#but then i get into a weird mindset of like: you need to finish this TONIGHT
#and then it never happens lol
#as i said its only random occurrences when i can sit down and finish smth in one night
#i need to remind myself: these things take time
#i think my brain is sometimes running on a deadline that doesn't exist
#theres a weird point btwn:
#enjoying encouragement bcs it makes you feel more motivated to finish smth
#but also feeling this odd sense of guilt and obligation
#i draw for myself but literally for my whoel time drawing i often feel obligation towards a nonexistent audience
#some imaginary force thats gonna be disappointed if i dont finish smth in [illogical period of time]
#its good to have some sense of motivation obv bcs how would you ever finish anything
#but its weird to start feeling the same thoughts abt schoolwork for your hobby
#basically: I hate setting deadlines for myself bcs it just never works out
#if i say 'you must work on this tonight!' i will absolutely not be working on this tonight
#funny feeling when you start being like 'aaaahhh everyone is gonna hate me if i dont post this soon'
#i think its nice when i can post smth i talk about in a quick turn-around
#but rationally i know that if people are interested they wont care how long it takes <3 bcs id feel the same
#also i guess i get put out some times seeing how fast other people can create :/
#catie has 3 moods(for creation):
#a. complete and utter burnout
#b. not burnt out but finishing smth takes more than just one day. maybe a wk or more
#c. can finish a piece in one day or even one sitting. often draws several things right after the other
#C is truly the goat 🙏 i feel blessed when i get into that mindset
#blah blah blah please stop feeling beholden to something that doesnt exist. thanks catie.
#catie.rambling.txt
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