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dearmantis · 1 year

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Huff n Puff

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/The Darkling x Reader

Summary: After faking your death half a century ago you finally return to the Little Palace after hearing of the Darklings passing. You did not expect to see a familiar face when the new General arrives.

Warnings: period typical slut-shaming, outdated opinions on peoples sex lives, talks of loosing virginity (nothing explicit), faking death, a bit survivors guilt(?), implied smut (is that the right warning when it's a fade to black?)

Word Count: 3k

Authors' Note: I'm taking great liberties with canon again because I don't think the books ever went into detail about how Aleksander fakes his death and comes back all the time. Also I still can't write to save my life, I'm not a native English speaker and this is barely edited, what else is new.

When the new Darkling arrives at the Little Palace, you're on a mission to accompany a ravkan dutchess and her grisha husband on their travels back to Os Alta after spending a few weeks in her husbands hometown. You're disappointed to not be able to see something so rare and special — a once in a lifetime event like a total eclipse, like one of your team mates said — but you try to not be too upset about it.

The dutchess and her husband are quite sweet to you and your team, and the mission is simple enough. Nobody gets hurt, and the travel back home to Os Alta is comfortable enough considering the cold, snowy weather.

It's easier for you to get over the circumstances than for the other three in your team, of course. If you're smart, you will be able to see and meet many new Darklings over the next few centuries while they won't get the chance, so you don't judge them for being in a worse mood than usual. They should be in the palace, celebrating the arrival of the new general and drinking alcohol until they can't stand on their own feet anymore, instead of a two days ride away from the party, grilling some skinny rabbits on a fire or trying to remove the deep, thick snow from the campsite.

When it's finally time to eat you fill the silence with a story about your time before you joined the Little Palace, twisting the tale a bit to make it seem like you were a teen during the events.

It's odd to lie about who you are, but you can't risk too many similarities between this life and your last, so you form a tale about escaping Ketterdam after realising that a local gang found out about your Grisha powers and started to target you.

You're still considered a newer recruit in the Little Palace, and you haven't been able to make many friends since you arrived as an adult and not as a child like the others. The Grisha listen to your words excitedly, eager to find out more about their mysterious companion, and you're happy to oblige, weaving an encouraging story about your childhood in Ketterdam, training yourself in secret, and finding the power to fight for your freedom after hearing so many tales of the heroism of the Second Army.

When you're finished, the fire is starting to die, darkness creeping in from the forrest, and one of your fellow soldiers stands up to get more wood. The dutchess and her husband thank you for joining the ravkan army, tears in the young womans eyes, clearly touched by your bravery, and your team leader – Inessa, an older heartrender – tightly hugs you a few minutes later, telling you how proud she is of you.

You don't feel bad for lying. It has to be done for your own savety, and it makes sense for you to open up to your teammates during your first longer mission. This was a calculated decision, and it has only lightened the mood a bit, lifting some of the sadness from your fellow soldiers' shoulders.

Well and you did almost get murdered an kidnapped a few times during your travels in Ketterdam during the fifty year break you spend away from the Little Palace after faking your death. You were just in your seventies during that time, not a teenager, but who cares about details like that?

After your little storytime at the fire you open up more and more during the last two days of your travels to Os Alta, playing the role of the young soldier who finally feels like the Little Palace might become a home, like the other Grisha might actually turn into one big family, and for a second you wish that was truly the case. That you're actually just some runaway from Ketterdam, not an almost a century old Grisha who doesn't know why time hasn't claimed your body yet.

During your trip back, your fellow soldiers also theorise a bit. What is the general gonna be like? How will he compare to General Golubev, the Heartrender who took on the position after the last Darkling left the Little Palace to find a wife and continue the Darkling-bloodline in savety?

You have to bite your tongue and remind yourself that you're no older than 23 to these people. To them you are too young to know the General. He left the Palace forty years ago. Even Inessa barely remembers him from her teens, only saying that he was a beautiful man and could be very scary.

Karina, an Inferni in your group, tries to dig deeper, asking how pretty he truly is in so many different ways that Inessa ends up threatening to stop her heart until she's unconcious, and the dutchess giggles so loudly at the interaction that you can't stop yourself from joining her.

The fifty years traveling have been lonely and cold and even your first years at the Little Palace have been filled with an odd distance between you and the other Grisha, but in those last two days everything feels like back when you truly were 23 and surrounded by friends.

Your heart hurts when you finally arrive in Os Alta and say goodbye to the dutchess and her husband, already missing the uncomfortable camps in the middle of the woods you had to stay in to make sure the drüskelle wouldn't be able to follow your tracks easily, but the pain quickly gets overshadowed by the excitement vibrating in the voices of your fellow soldiers.

It's time. Your mission is officially over. Now you will finally meet the new Darkling.

The five of you quickly step through the familiar hallways of the Little Palace, almost getting lost after realising that you won't have to debrief in the office General Golubev used during his time. You end up leading the group to the formerly empty rooms where the old Darkling stayed, explaining that you discovered the unused rooms during your first month at the palace while exploring the place.

You knock quickly on the heavy wooden doors before slipping to the back of the group, hiding behind the others. Eyes hovering over the Oprichniki guard while you wait for the General to call you in, you realize with a slight pang of pain that you don't recognize the guards. You used to be quite close to several of the Oprichniki in your old life, so close in fact that there were rumours of you joining before you noticed that you weren't aging like the others anymore and decided to fake your death. Seeing the people the General chose for his guard in their uniforms hurts a bit, it's undeniable. All of your friends are dead. All of them are dead, and you should be dead too, yet you stand here, in front of these doors, waiting to be let in by the son of the man you once loved.

Finally the deep voice of the General calls out through the door, and your heart starts to beat quicker at the familiarity. He sounds so much like his father.

How heartbreaking that must be for his mother, you think, slowly following the others into the war room where the man dressed in black waits for you.

The old General was confirmed dead five years ago. According to a letter sent by his wife, he fell asleep peacefully one night and never woke up. After that letter was made public, you returned to the Palace as a new Soldier, hoping that the hard work in the palace will fill your mind with something other than grief and heartbreak and now you're standing in the office you've spend so much time in in your old life. The same rooms where you have surrendered your body and soul to the father of the new general.

The guilt and shame die in your stomach the second you look up at the man dressed in black, eyes widening and eyebrows shooting up.

You don't dare to make a sound, instead just staring at the tall man in front of you as he addresses Inessa and listens to her report of the mission. When his eyes finally find yours you almost expect him to prove you wrong, to simply look you over once before continuing and demonstrating to you that he just looks eerily similar to his father, but as soon as his eyes find yours his words cut off and his face goes slack.

Yes, this is the man you gave your virginity to. That fucker faked his death too. He held a stupid funeral after you were confirmed dead, left the palace ten years later to hang out in the woods or whatever, faked his death 35 years later through a letter acting like he's his own wife, and now he's here acting like he's his own son.

You would start giggling like a crazy person if the whole situation wasn't so fucking bizarre and infuriating.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asks, completely ignoring the confused looks of the others in the room.

"What am I doing here? What the fuck are you doing here?"

You two stare at each other for a few seconds until Karina quietly coughs, probably to remind you two that others are in the room, and both of your heads snap over to her.

"Do you two know each other?" Inessa finally asks, and you almost jump to deny it, stopping yourself after realising how dumb of an idea that would be. You two clearly know each other.

"When I fled Ketterdam, I spent a few weeks with him and his mother before I came to the Little Palace." You explain without thinking, hoping that the tale you're weaving together makes at least a bit sense.

"I was wounded during my escape and exhausted, and while I travelled through Ravka, I was found by his mother, a healer. She took me in and let me stay with them for a few weeks before I continued to travel to the Little Palace. I didn't know that I was staying with the Darklings family."

The General looks at you for a few seconds, nodding very slowly like he's trying to make sure your words will enter his long term memory, before he looks back at the other Grisha, jaw clenching.

"I would like to have a conversation with my... my friend. Would you please come back later for the report? Perhaps tomorrow? You must all be terribly exhausted. Eat a meal and then return to your rooms. I will call for you when I find the time."

The four leave the room slowly, all of them pausing to stare at you as if you held back some incredibly important information and deeply betrayed the team, before the General stands up and opens the door again to send the Oprichniki outside away.

As soon as the door falls back into the lock, he storms into your direction, grabbing you by your shoulders and shaking you like a ragdoll.

"Stop! What are you doing?" you yell out, trying to slap his hands away and remove yourself from his ironlike grip. "Sasha!"

Finally, he lets you go, hands mowing to run through his hair and then over his beard.

"I held a funeral for you. I held a speech as well, talked about how much I regretted never asking you to join my personal guard."

His voice is cold and accusatory, as if you betrayed him deeply. In a way, you guess you did betray him, just a bit. "I looked for you for weeks after the Drüskelle attacked our camp. Weeks." he spits, and you can't stop yourself from folding your arms in front of your chest in defence.

"Well, you should've looked harder then! I was still in Ravka for two years after faking my death!" You're fuming now, the feeling of betrayal finally taking root in your heart as well. "And why do you act as if you're the only victim here? I grieved you when I found out you passed! Shit, I grieved when I heard you left the Little Palace to find a wife! Did you spend even a single second thinking of me after my disappearance? After my funeral?"

His hands ball up into fists, and his jaw clenches so tightly you almost worry if he's gonna break a tooth. The shadows in the war room grow longer, swallowing the sunlight bit by bit.

"Of course I grieved you. I loved you, you stupid fool. A mistake on my part, clearly, since it has now been revealed that I have fallen for lies and manipulation."

Scoffing angrily, you stomp your foot on the floor like a child, immediately regretting the action. "I did not lie to you! Not until I faked my death to protect myself!"

"Protect yourself from who?"

"From you! What was I supposed to do? Reveal myself as some immortal abomination of nature? Risk that you decide that I need to be killed?"

Now it's Aleksanders' turn to scoff, his eyebrows pulling together and turning his face into an angry grimace.

"Killed? Do you truly believe I would've killed you?"

"Of course I do! You would do anything, kill anyone, to make sure the Little Palace stays safe and secure. If the king found out I was immortal, it would've changed his opinion of Grisha overall. We would be classified as a risk to his rule again. Of course you would've killed me! So I did it for you, left that life behind, and continued with the next."

Aleksander stares at you for a few seconds, clearly trying to find some fault in your words, something to twist this whole conversation to make you seem like the villain, like he didn't do the exact same thing you did.

He turns his back to you, slowly walking over to the window to stare outside. "I don't even know why I listen to a liar like you. You have betrayed me, betrayed your fellow Grisha as well. How could I ever trust a single word coming from your mouth ever again?"

Saints, how you hate this overly dramatic side of his.

Slowly turning back towards you, he looks you up and down once more, his voice dripping in false pain, the underlying coldness betraying him. "Was I even the first to touch you? The first to lay claim on you? The first you surrendered your body to?"

You almost scream when the words finally sink in. "You don't get to make accusations like this! You have no right to question my honesty, least of all in a topic like this. And how hypocritical of you! I know this is my first time faking my death but how many times have you done this? How many centuries rest on your shoulders? How many people have you dragged to your bed? Because I know you were my first and last. If there is a harlot in this room it's not me!"

An exasperated expression finds its way onto his face, but he doesn't deny your accusation. Instead, he turns back to the window, taking a few deep breaths before he spins around, crossing the room in three long steps. His large hands grab your face harshly, pulling you toward him before his lips press against yours, beard scratching slightly against your skin.

The kiss is not soft, far from it, actually. It's all spit and teeth, clearly showing off how angry and out of practice you two are, like two instruments that play in different tempos.

After a few seconds however, you both start to slow down a bit, the kiss turning softer as you both fully realize that you both are alive, that you didn't loose each other to a Drüskelle attack or the cruel passing of time. You have found each other again, and while you don't know why you're not dead, why time didn't claim you, you decide that it doesn't matter. Not while you're in the arms of the man you've missed for half a century.

The why's and how's can be answered tomorrow, after he devoured you.

"There was no one after you." he speaks after breaking the kiss, his forehead pressing against yours while he lets you breathe for a bit.

"l will not lie to you, not any more than I already have. There have been people before you, but there was no one afterwards. Not while I stayed in the palace and not afterwards. I loved you - love you - too much to move on."

His hands softly caress your cheeks before he presses a kiss on your forehead, breathing in the smell of your hair before his forehead finds yours again. "I know it's probably not particularly obvious, but I'm so glad that you're alive. I'm so, so glad to see that you didn't die."

Aleksanders arm carefully wraps around your middle before he pulls you closer to him and lifts you into the air, his other hand moving your head to rest in the space between his neck and shoulder, carefully stroking over your hair.

You wrap your own arms around him, fingers digging into the back of his black kefta as tears begin to fill your eyes. His familiar smell enters your nose and lungs, it's warmth and familiarity making you feel vulnerable in his arms.

"Sasha," you whisper, your voice wavering a bit. He hushes you softly before he begins moving, carrying you in the direction of his bedroom. "Tomorrow, milaya. We will talk tomorrow. We will fight some more, scream at each other, throw inexcusable insults at each others heads, and then we will forgive. Tonight I just want to have you. Let me have you, hold you, touch you. That's all I want right now. Let me feel your living skin under my fingertips, my love."

He drops you carefully onto the familiar dark sheets, and as you look up at him, you're reminded of the dozens of times you've laid on these sheets before today.

Finally, you nod. "Tomorrow," you echo before grabbing Aleksanders shirt and pulling him back down to let your lips meet his once more.

—

Darkling Taglist: @snowkestrel

#darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #shadow and bone

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valiantarcher · 3 months

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Some assorted and random thoughts on Deliver by Tricia Mingerink.

I'm so disappointed; I feel cheated. How can at least one of the two, if not the primary question of the book be whether or not Martyn will understand and repair his friendship with Leith, and then the majority of the book ignores that question to focus on RomanceTM?

I think at least part of the problem is that she tries to do too many things in this book, with the result that almost none of it is done well. It also felt like parts were missing (for example, despite the excuse of being bored, it seemed like there should've been something showing whatever respect or relationship Martyn had built up with Shadrach that sent Shadrach out with guards to look for him) while other parts were rushed over and still others focused on when they didn't need to be.

Things I liked: Ranson as well as Jamie being explicitly drawn into Leith's family now too. The line about Martyn realising he wasn't seeing an angel because the angel had Shadrach Alistair's face. Leith echoing David with not harming Lord Norton but making it very clear that he could've while he was sleeping. Leith's blue screen of death when Brandi tells him she wants him to walk her down the aisle when she gets married and he realises that could happen in as few as three years if she got married as young as Renna did.

On one hand, there is something touching about Lord Alistair stepping into a fatherly role for Leith. On the other, his fatherly role only goes so far and it completely fails in this book when it comes to Renna (and Brandi to some extent), which was disappointing.

Renna and Leith were particularly (and very sadly) frustrating. Even leaving aside the question of impropriety/appearances, accepting the guards would've been VERY helpful. And, yes, Sheriff Allen doesn't know Leith as well as Renna, but he is also in the position of being about the only surviving responsible adult who feels some sort of obligation to watch out for Renna - and his concerns about Leith were VERY reasonable and important. Part of being an adult and a leader is making your own decisions, yes, but part of being good at both those roles is listening to others and addressing their concerns.

If the Michelle Allen change-of-heart point was supposed to be convincing, she should've dropped the sashaying over to initiate a long smooch with Ranson at the Corn Festival. Renna being hesitant to trust her made perfect sense and her self-recrimination when Michelle turned up at the battle in Stetterly did not seem at all supported.

Speaking of the Corn Festival - I did not like how that conversation with Renna and Leith after was handled. Yes, simply because of the nature of their relationship, they probably needed to discuss what had happened with the coerced engagement/almost wedding to Respen BUT not in the manner that it was addressed. Renna's actions and intentions in Defy may've been misguided, but they were an honest effort to make the best of a bad decision/situation and not something that she should feel guilty about as 'cheating on' Leith. Similarly, Leith's questioning of whether she'd kissed Respen, etc. seemed to mirror this misplaced and baseless guilt.

I wasn't expecting Jamie's desire to be a minister, but it could work out well.

I also wasn't expecting to like Keevan a little better after this book. Unfortunately, I think at least part of it was him shining in contrast to a lot of the other characters with respect to listening to counsel, having a plan, putting aside personal feelings to do what was right, etc.

The end with Leith and Renna discussing post-wedding what Leith is going to do in the future seemed...odd and misplaced. I know Keevan waited until that day to raise the Blades reborn question, but the entire discussion about the future should've been something Leith and Renna had actually hashed out before they got married (actually, before they got engaged really, especially the second time).

I haven't talked much about Martyn here, but that's because I'm so disappointed in how he was handled, I'm not even sure where to start. The beginning was promising (Martyn feeling something was owed Respen? Martyn finding out that Leith surrendered himself not for Renna but for him? Even Martyn deciding he had to leave made some sort of sense), but as soon as he ran into Kayleigh, everything just fell apart. His mission never really went anywhere, he never really worked out his loyalty issues, his brother randomly makes an appearance and reveals a bunch of new info that doesn't really seem to fit/makes things worse, and then his pre-burning (the stake seemed a stretch at the very least and overly dramatic, not to mention the whole shunning of Kayleigh on very shaky terms) reasoning and decision felt really flat and unconvincing. And if all he had needed was some bossing and yelling at to get the point across, Brandi really should've gotten through if she'd had a little more time (and even if it backfired, I appreciated her trying with a telling of a Bible story).

Chalk up another reference to Psalm 27, though (I lost track at three, but I think there's more).

I didn't like the impropriety gag or the repeated challenge/bet gag, and I'm disappointed particularly in Kayleigh for how much of a relationship with Martyn was founded and built up before he worked out his issues with faith.

I'm also pretty peeved that the end conclusion on Leith's torture was that it didn't matter because Martyn had been burned and had sent warning to Leith/Stetterly and thus they were even. That wasn't and should not have been the point! The end result and the point should've been a recognition that Martyn CANNOT repay or undo what Leith suffered, but that Leith's love and forgiveness can cover over it! What was the point otherwise?

Overall, this still probably ranks above Deny simply because of how traumatising the latter was (I suppose that might change if I ever revisit it), but there were less things I liked about it than Defy (with Dare remaining my favourite). I haven't decided if I'll give Decree a shot or not yet.

#The Blades of Acktar #Tricia Mingerink

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angelsdean · 1 year

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ok back to thinking abt 1x06 since i'm not done writing meta from my rewatch last week. so what's really interesting to me is that, throughout the episode there's this tension between accepting a life of isolation and living on the fringes of society as a hunter (paralleled with the life of isolation the shapeshifter is forced to live) and wanting to stay connected to people and have friends and a life outside of hunting.

Sam obviously represents the latter, still keeping in touch with his stanford friends, which is what leads them to the shapeshifter case in the first place. And Dean obviously represents the hunting life, and is directly paralleled to the shapeshifter who literally takes his form. However ! throughout the episode, despite what Dean is saying we learn from the shifter that what Dean feels is the opposite. Dean is jealous of Sam for getting to leave and go to college and have a life and friends. Dean stayed behind with John out of a sense of loyalty and family obligation, but he had dreams too! He wanted a different life. And so, Sam knows all this now. He knows that despite pushing Sam to accept that hunting is the only option and hunting means isolation, Dean doesn't even want that himself. But Dean's also convinced himself that he can't share this part of his life with anyone outside of the hunting world. (And later in the season we find out why, because he learned the hard way with Cassie).

And yet, by the end of the episode, Sam now has a friend who know about the supernatural and that he's a hunter, and doesn't reject him for it! But despite this, Sam still chooses to turn away and shut her out, saying she probably won't hear from him anytime soon. And so he chooses the life of isolation as a hunter, the thing he was fighting against with Dean at the beginning of the episode, but which he's now learned Dean doesn't even want. And the whole thesis about why hunters have to be isolated has even been proven wrong. Sam's friend accepts him and doesn't push him away for it! And like, I get it, for plot reasons they gotta be isolated and go on this quest together and find John and hunt the Azazel etc etc but it's just wild to me that literally thee whole episode revolves around this conflict of isolation vs community / friendship / balanced life. And the ending literally shows that it is possible to have friends outside of hunting, and all of that is rejected.

Like I guess you could argue the whole 'keeping people safe by keeping them at a distance' thing. Like being associated with Sam would put his friend in more danger. But she and her brother were already affected by the supernatural and it had nothing to do with Sam. But I could see his guilt over Jessica influencing his decision to push them away. But still, at the beginning of the episode Sam wasn't bothered by that and still intent on keeping in contact with his friends. So really to me it's not about guilt or fear or any of that. It's just this odd reversal (sort of kind of), where Sam becomes the one at the end of the ep who's all for embracing the isolation of hunting, while Dean is wavering, like he still says he's for it but with Dean it's never really about what he's saying. And we know from the shifter he feels differently.

#ok there's my mini essay #i have like. one more meta / analysis post to make abt this ep before i move on djfskfk #i AM treating this rewatch as a studies course lmao #spn meta #vic.txt #siblings siblings #maybe that will be my tag for them idk #spn 1x06

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bongoishisnameo · 8 months

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The new chapter was heart wrenching!! I teared up during the scene of Nat dying in Lotties arms, and Lotties freak out over hallucinating. You really got me I was so sure Lottie would believe her!! But the light heartedness of the chapter was brilliant - it was such a roller coaster!! Thank you for writing :))

What were your thoughts while writing the chapter? Anything you really hoped came across to the readers?

glad u liked it!! main thought was fuck them kids, quite honestly. but no rly it was escalating dread and failure—like the idea of having infinite chances and still being a fuckup is so at odds with itself, especially cuz life is already kinda /like that./second chances are literally borne of fuckups, so u can’t have one without the other but damn it feels bad!!

violence is also SUCH an important theme and a constant source of tension btwn nat and other people, a lot of this is true of my roller derby fic as well but I rly believe that violence between women, especially young women, is a whole different beast.

something I hoped to have come across was nat’s guilt/death complex and her relationship w her parents. the weird sort of debt ppl feel for their parents, whether they’re good or not, and the sort of debt that’s created by having a parent in such violent or intense conflict w the other, especially as an only child/a child that directly interferes. that sort of debt shapes people, and it also means the relationship between a kid and their parents gets rly fucking complicated! obviously her parents suck but there is real love there, at least at some point, and a sense of obligation on nat’s part which we see in the show as well.

idk. love is fucking hard, and often inconvenient. owing someone feels similar in its connective intensity, and ppl sometimes confuse one for the other

#asks #bongo writes!#this is such a long answer sry but I LOVE questions like this!!

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seafoamchild · 6 months

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november 2nd

went to hulaween and it was an absolute blast. i had so much fun with my friends. we saw so much music and did so many drugs. we laughed and laughed. i felt happy and included the whole time.

now i'm back home and it's already snowed and there's a chill in the air. cue six months of winter. here we go. i want to be somewhere else, somewhere different, somewhere i can start a new chapter. i've spent the past few years really working on myself, and it has been hard. i've worked on being kind to myself, not taking everything personally, being generous, communicating my wants and needs, and thinking about what i even want in the first place.

i've reflected on growing up in a place where a specific type of achievement was glorified. getting straight As. getting into college. graduating on time. getting a "real job". my parents wanted all of that for me and i always felt obligated to please them, as they were supporting me financially. i never got a real job and it freaked them out. they kept pushing and pushing, devaluing the serving jobs i had because they weren't "real jobs". asking me, "you're not planning on being a server forever, are you?" as if the very idea were horrifying to behold. constantly making suggestions about who i should network with, trying to get me to talk to people with "real jobs" so they could inspire me to also get a "real job", waiting for me to get all the traveling out of my system so i could come to my senses and settle down. it was so exhausting, constantly receiving the message that i wasn't "doing it right", that i was making frivolous decisions and i needed to buckle down and get career-oriented.

i've come to realize that my parents really did not understand me. and it wasn't just like, me going through a rebellious phase, it was that my values and my parents' values were different - are different - and they tried to push me into being something i was not. i've never doubted that they love me and just wanted me to be happy, but they had no idea what that looked like for me. everyone in my immediate family - my parents, my brother - they've all led pretty conventional lives. they followed the rules, they got the career, they got the house.

then there was me, who traveled everywhere, worked odd jobs, saw psychiatrists, dated questionable people, went to music festivals, lived in rundown rentals, experimented with drugs they'd never even heard of. to them it was so worrying that i wasn't following a conventional path. they have tried so so so hard to "help" steer me in the right direction, but all it really ever did was compound my anxiety about feeling unmoored. i've spent so many years feeling like i'm doing it all wrong, that i should be striving for a stable career, that a serving job is a shameful thing to do for a living unless you're in college, that i need to turn my passions into profits, that i'm so smart and talented but i'm wasting it all away by "just being a server".

all this worrying has never done me an ounce of good. so, so, so much worrying, imparted upon me by my incredibly anxious and high-strung parents for years and years. despite the gnawing guilt and shame i felt, i kept doing the things i wanted to do. but i went through various states of mental deterioration during it all, and it was always some kind of identity crisis, like who am i and how did i get here and what the fuck am i doing???

lately i have been feeling more assured of who i am. i'm funny and kind and smart. i have created a rich life for myself, full of experiences and friends. i still want to find a job that excites me. i still want to fall in love with someone who adores me and respects me. i want to move to a new city. leave the midwest. find new opportunities. it will be really scary, leaving behind my community. but i know it's time. i finally feel confident enough to do it for real.

#journal

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lesvegas · 6 months

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Non-binary/transmasc lesbian here. I’ve been to a lot of trans support groups and a lot of people feel some sort of guilt about being trans over some other identity, I think this stems from the transphobia of the greater cis-patriarchal society(tm) that makes it easy for people to second guess themselves in their gender expansive identities. You can be true to yourself and how you’re feeling and what makes sense to you, it’s not your job to “save” butch lesbian as a label. Labels change and evolve over time and maybe more people are adopting more gender expansive language/identities and that’s how “butch lesbian” might become less relevant over time. Nothing was wrong with it but now the culture has shifted and that’s ok 🩷

I'm both sad and glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. I've adopted a lot of labels over the years and haven't really stopped identifying with any of them, but for some reason putting more on top of Butch Lesbian feels... odd? And yet I've never felt that way with any other label; not asexual, not demiromantic, not agender or nonbinary, not trans or transmasc... I don't know why I feel this weird pressure to uphold some kind of dyke standard in comparison. I think it's the talk of how being a butch lesbian feels less common now and also all the pressure put on lesbians specifically to fit into a neat little box with few other labels attached. In some lesbian circles I have no idea if I'll be accepted as an ace lesbian, a transmasc lesbian, and I have no idea if they'll accept my bi lesbian or lesboy or any-other-lesbian-variant siblings.

You're right, though, there's nothing wrong with labels and culture changing over time, and I have no obligation to uphold any kind of imaginary standard. Thank you for this ask.

#sorry to go off i just have. a lot of feelings

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getyourblisson · 2 years

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A Look At October 2022

October is normally a month where people are happy with simple things and simple pleasures. It brings with it a sense of living a little more freely in the world; and it encourages us to experience life. There is naturally a desire to indulge in all that the season has to offer; and we can really begin to see and experience the changes in the outer world. This is a time where people naturally let go of having to do any more work than is necessary; because they want to get out and be able to enjoy more of life. It opens the door to breaking materialism patterns, and bringing forth authenticity.

This year we find that this season is filled with more kindness and generosity than usual. It is a time where crops are producing well; and are coming in strong. Things are fertile in the world; and we are able to see where all of the efforts that we have been making over the last 6 months to a year have been paying off. It is important to take time to rejoice and to celebrate all that is coming through. It will be a time that favors gathering with others; where everyone is contributing and sharing things.

This month is a great time to organize and participate in community activities that help to take care of those in hard times. However, we can do this on our own as well. It will be more meaningful than normal where we help those in need, rescue an animal, and give extra care to our environment. Even the smallest of actions can be life changing right now. We all have things that we are abundant in, and it is important that we share that with others. If everyone shares a little bit, then there is plenty to take care of everyone.

From October 1st – October 22nd we see a very strong increase in spiritual presence in the world. There seems to be an abundance of caring and unconditional love. It is important that when trying to help others that we know when to help and when to let them work things through. I find that this comes down to making an offer to help; and then being completely unattached as to whether someone takes me up on that offer or not. This gives others the ability to accept or decline without any guilt or obligations.

During this time, we will see where working together has brought us successes; and where through having compassion for others that we have been able to overcome the challenges that have tried to break our spirit. It is a time where we can see that peace is being re-established in the world. This has not been an easy battle; but persistent efforts have brought strong results. It is important that we continue to attend to the things that need to get done; so, we will need to balance our celebrations with meeting our obligations and responsibilities.

This is a great time for taking the initiative to bring people together; or for working as a team to create successes in our communities and for the people within them. However, there may still be a couple of people out there who are opting to be at odds with each other. It is important that we sit in observation and don’t get pulled into the drama that others are creating. They need to solve their own problems. Be willing to be still and to simply watch and observe. This can also be a great time to take a more philosophical approach to things, and to think outside of the box a bit more.

It is important to support those true leaders. These are the people who are willing to see each person as equally valuable. They have a natural ability for providing the wisdom that is needed; and for bringing out people’s skills and assets. They want people to develop their skills where they are not confident; and to share them where they are confident.

Some may find this a time where they prefer to be alone and process things. They have a need to step out of material things, and to be in spaces that allow their spirit to feel alive. They may find themselves outgrowing the people that have been in their life; and seeking something more than just material things. This is a great time for personal and spiritual retreats where we can work on our own processes, be around others in a strong spiritual space, and to simply be with our own thoughts. It is a great time to disconnect from electronics as much as possible, and to connect with the power within us.

Some may find that they need to use this time for personal care. It is a time where health challenges can surface for people; and they need to honor having plenty of rest, good nutrition, and the opportunity to truly restore after a period of long and sustained hard work. This can be a great time for fasting or restoration. Their soul may be strong; but the body needs time to heal, and that process is helped by honoring soul processes.

From October 23rd through the end of the month things can be a bit more turbulent. This is when we are likely to see unexpected things happen. It is also a time where we are likely to see unpredictable weather patterns come through. So, it is best to stay where you can get to safety easily; and not go straying off the beaten path. It will be wise to be stocked up on supplies to see you through a couple of days in case the power goes out, or other conditions that can make it hard to get to the store.

It is important to remain calm wherever there is drama being stirred up; whether that is coming from people, or due to harsh weather conditions. We must become the eye of the storm; for this allows us to hold the power needed to influence things in a positive direction. You may find that you need to be there for others that could be experiencing trauma. However, you will need to discern between who truly needs your help; and who is only creating the appearance of needing help in order to manipulate you and take advantage of you. We will need to tread carefully with family and those close to us; especially if they are rooted in greed and materialism. This may not be the best time to discuss things with them.

This can be a wonderful time to achieve victory and success where you have been held back; and to pass the tests that you have been dealing with for quite some time. Right now, our victories and successes are based in where we are setting ourselves free. They come where we have made the shifts to living a little more simply and making the changes needed to allow us to live and experience more of life; and to stop putting all of our time and energy into acquiring material things. It is a time that favors standing strong on our own, and being self-reliant. This is likely to open up our connection with God and the Soul Self that much more.

We will still need to act in responsible ways; and to meet the obligations and responsibilities that we have. However, as you do this, consider which ones you are willing to let go of. The more of these we have, the heavier life can feel; so, as we release them, we free ourselves up to embrace things as they come up without any heavy commitments to them. This all leads us to increase our freedom; and allows us to be able to take advantage of more possibilities that may come up in the moment. Stand strong in doing things the way that it works for you; and realize that you are never obligated to implement someone else’s suggestions if they don’t feel right or are not appropriate to what you are doing.

In Summary, enjoy the simple pleasures that are offered to you through seasonal tastes, smells, and aromas. Take advantage of opportunities to be kind and generous with others. Do something to help someone that is in hard times. Know when to help others, and when to let them work things out on their own. Acknowledge and appreciate where working with others have helped you to come out of challenges successfully. Take the initiative to create success for those around you.

See everyone as equally valuable. Take time for yourself, and respect others that need time for themselves. Honor doing any personal care that you need; and take steps to strengthen your health and restore your body. Allow yourself to disconnect from electronics and the input of others. Remain calm no matter how much turbulence or drama arises. See how setting yourself free and becoming self-sufficient is creating successes and victories. Continue to act in responsible ways.

I welcome you to indulge in what the season has to offer. What if doing this can actually help you to reconnect with your authentic self, and awakens your senses?

I welcome you to acknowledge and see how your efforts over the last 6 months to a year have paid off. What if doing this helps to keep the fertile energy alive for what you will be creating in the next year?

I welcome you to organize and participate in activities that take care of those in hard times. What if even small gestures can have a big impact?

I welcome you to offer help to others; but remain unattached as to whether they accept it or not. What if this allows them to decide if it will be beneficial for them or not?

I welcome you to realize that sometimes people need to solve their own problems. What if you can tell if this is needed, based on if they are choosing to be in drama and critical of others?

I welcome you to see everyone as equally valuable. What if this helps to build confidence and strengthen people as individuals, as well as part of a team?

I welcome you to take time for your own processes and healing. What if it is important to allow the body and mind to restore after intense periods?

I welcome you to remain calm in the midst of drama. What if this allows you to bring forth a positive outcome in things?

I welcome you to see how victories and successes are connected to setting yourself free. What if this happens where you choose to live simply; and are choosing experiences over things?

I welcome you to consider where you can let go of responsibilities and obligations. What if this frees you up to accept things as they come up, and offers you more possibilities to do things that you love?

What To Focus Our Actions On

This month calls us to have our guards up a bit where others are concerned. There are uncertainties where others are involved and when this combines with trials and tribulations connected to lies, deception, and manipulation; then we have a situation ripe for people being untrustworthy. Part of the key with this, is to let the truth come out; but to sit more in observation of what is happening, instead of having to be actively involved. What has been hidden cannot remain hidden during this month.

Uncertainties are one of those things that can lead us to be more on edge; and it is best to not take action on things that you are uncertain about right now. When uncertainties are present; I plan for many possibilities, and attach to none. This is when we must trust our own ability to handle whatever comes up; instead of planning for certain outcomes. It is about remaining ready to act according to how things play out; and those actions cannot be planned. Clarity will come with a little patience. They key is to focus more on things that you can do on your own. Your protection is standing in truth and integrity.

Patience is key right now. You cannot force things to move. Use this time to further connect with what you feel your purpose or mission is in the world. Take a look at where things are and are not in Divine Alignment. This will also help you to gain clarity. It is time to release the paths that do not come into alignment; and focus on the ones that do. Otherwise, you will have to make changes to the paths that are out of alignment and find ways to bring them into alignment. This must be done before things can move forward. God, Soul Processes, and Divine Presence must be the priority.

This can be a good time to be with and put energy into true partnerships and relationships that offer you genuine love. It is not the best time for creating new partnerships; and it will be wise to revisit options that include that at a later time. You need time to get to know people in the capacity of a partner; and with the deception energy present you could create more challenges than it is worth. Where there is real love and true partnership, success has the ability to surface.

There is some caution, however, as those that are out of integrity may try to compete with you; especially where you have strong and positive connections with others. People try to find their self-worth, by trying to steal away someone else’s partner. This can greatly test a partnership or relationship; but if it is strong and in integrity, then there will be nothing to worry about. The key is to stay out of competitions of all kinds. It is about knowing where you are confident and where you are not; and if you are not confident about something in your life, then exploring why you are not confident about it. It is likely that you will only be prodded to compete in those areas where you are lacking confidence.

I welcome you to use caution with other people. What if this allows the truth to come out so that you can see who others really are; without having to create major drama?

I welcome you to let go of controlling things and having to have things specifically planned out. What if it is not about what direction things take; but your ability to trust yourself to handle whatever does come up?

I welcome you to be patient with things; and to use this time to see what is and is not in Divine Alignment. What if things must be in alignment before they can progress?

I welcome you to focus on true partnerships that offer genuine love. What if these partnerships are the ones that nourish true successes to unfold?

I welcome you to know where you are confident and where you are not in your life. What if competition only arises where you are not confident?

What to Focus Our thoughts On

From October 1st – October 10th our thoughts turn more towards how we can stand strong and can be a positive influence. The mind is strong and can see things with great clarity. It is a time where we are able to learn from other people’s experiences; and do not have to go through our own hardships to learn something. It is a great time for organizing our thoughts, ideas, and plans, and creating a strong strategy for implementing them.

Success happens where we are able to look at things from many different perspectives and do not take sides. Our mind wanders to the philosophical side of things; and can easily go into in depth thinking. It can be a great time to research things; and to explore things that are more open or esoteric in their foundation. Success also requires us to take the initiative in doing things; without getting into other people’s drama. From this aspect we bring out the assets of others, and help connect them with people that can help them strengthen the areas that are not as strong for them. We can provide observations; but it is best to not give actual advice, since most people will work things out themselves.

Those that are seeking power, are likely to use pressure tactics; and to tell people what they want to hear, even if it is not true or they will never follow through on it. There will be a tendency to force people to make decisions impulsively; because if people are allowed to think about things and research them, then they will not buy into what they are being sold. It is important to step away from people, consider creative options to what people want to sell you, and make certain that what you are doing is rooted in taking command of your own life; and is not leading you to turn your power over to people and things outside of yourself. The greatest and most powerful things that you have to work with are inside of you.

From October 11th through the end of the month we are looking for ways to have control over our own life. People are looking for those that know how to lead them to their own self; and who can teach them to live with greater self-sufficiency. These people will be found in those that are standing on neutral ground; and will be working from wisdom. They will have the ability to see that success is not about one side or another; but about how we manage our own self and life. Their wisdom comes from observation.

During this time, we need to be making our own decisions; and not allowing others to influence us in a direction that leads us to give up our power. It is a time to consider different viewpoints; and to look to philosophical concepts in order to makes sense of things. Great philosophers arose because they learned how to observe things and watch carefully what was happening; instead of looking at it from only a surface perspective.

During this time, we may need more time alone where we can be with our own thoughts, uninfluenced by others. Our mind needs time to process things from a spiritual perspective. It is a time to look at things from their core and true essence. People naturally seek to declutter the mind, and are likely to desire to spend a lot more time in conversations with God and the Soul Self. There is a need to connect with what is simple, and cannot be ruled by or controlled by the material aspects of life. This can be a great time for a personal or spiritual retreat; and to spend time in settings that nourish the Soul Self.

I welcome you to learn from other people’s experiences. What if that helps you to implement things without having to experience that hardship?

I welcome you to look at things from many different perspectives. What if this is one of the things that invites success into any situation?

I welcome you to really research things before making a decision about them. What if those that are trying to get you to act impulsively; know that you will not buy into what they are selling if you have time to research it?

I welcome you to look to those that are standing on neutral ground and working from wisdom to help you take command of your life. What if being in command of your life is not about controlling things, but is about how you manage your own self and life?

I welcome you to don’t allow others to convince you to give up your own power. What if this will never be in your own best interest; but paying attention to what is happening beneath the surface is?

I welcome you to honor the time you need to process things from a spiritual perspective. What if this is about looking at things from their core and true essence; and helps to declutter the mind?

Connecting To Our Soul Self

From October 1st – October 23rd we have an aspect of things being bittersweet. It is a time where will need to spend time reflecting on the experiences and processes that we have been through in life. This will help us to gain clarity on how to move forward; and to understand the things that we need to pay attention to. It is a time of breaking karmic patterns; and embracing what allows us to grow and develop through the Soul Self and in Divine Connection.

During this time, we can see a sudden rise to success and major breakthroughs where we are bringing Divine Principles into the world more; and standing strong in doing what we can to keep them alive. This is the energy of the Divine Warrior. However, whenever this energy makes great and strong successes; we are also likely to see the enemy of the light strike out and attack. They have been upset by the successes; and this triggers them to make everything from verbal attacks on character to full on assassination attempts. Under this influence it will mostly be attacks on our spirit; so, we will need to stand strong in it, and be unwavering in embracing it.

Endings are also likely. Assassins are focused not just on a specific person; but killing off spirit in our world. With this, most everything else dies as well. Hope, optimism, faith, and even physical things; because it is the life force of things. However, this doesn’t have to be the case, if we focus on transformation instead of death. It is a time to let go of the past and embrace the future; bringing in new forms for spirit to be alive, well, and present in our world. It is a time where it can be freer to exist; if we are willing to make the necessary breakthroughs.

The mind is very sharp and alert at this time. This is the time to focus on your own plans and ideas; particularly those ones that are connected to your own soul’s journey. This is a time for learning from others how to be strong, full, and whole when things that are close to your heart are ending; at the same time that rapid success is happening. It is a time to learn and understand what your own unique qualities and style has to offer; and how to bring that into what you are doing.

From October 24th through the end of the month it may feel a bit like our spirit is broken; as others seek to try to get us to comply to what they want. It is a time where those that feel as if they are in competition with us; will want to silence us, and keep us from having an influence on others. There will be attempts to victimize, brainwash, and threaten those that refuse to willingly accept abuse. It is important that we stand up for ourselves; and others who are unable to stand up for themselves.

The people that do this are really trying to pull us into a competition; because they are jealous of us, and others who have the strength to walk on their own. They want to be seen as the best there is; and are seeking approval for carrying out their corruption. There is no end to their tactics. They will lie and deceive people, just to get them to turn against each other. They pretend to be friends with those opposite each other; and then manipulate them with the information that they get.

You will need to stand in the utmost of ethics. Say nothing bad, do nothing bad, and keep standing in truth and integrity. This is a time where you will not want to tell people something that you don’t mind everyone knowing about. You really can’t trust anyone during this time; and yet you still have the ability to create successes. Just observe everything, learn where you have messed up, correct your course and move forward. This will bring things into positive results.

Those that are insecure and not working in Divine Alignment; will be the ones that will also compete for partnerships and seek to break up relationships. They want to be better than others, and feel powerful and influential. Remember that any strong relationship or partnership will support you in being successful and will not allow anything or anyone to come between you.

I welcome you to reflect on your life experiences to gain clarity on how to move forward. What if this helps you to break karmic patterns, and to embrace the Soul Self and Divine Connection?

I welcome you to embrace the rapid successes you are making; and stand resilient to those that try to attack your spirit. What if it is important to keep supporting the growth of Divine Presence in the world; even if some are not happy about it?

I welcome you to consider why it is so important to keep spirit alive in the world. What if all of life is fed and supported by a loving and compassionate energy?

I welcome you to focus on your plans and ideas that are connected to your soul’s journey. What if this connects you to having a stronger understanding of what your own unique quality and style is?

I welcome you to stand in the utmost of ethics. What if this helps you to create positive results from negative situations?

I welcome you to know that a strong relationship or partnership will support you in being successful. What if nothing and no one can come between you?

The Code Journey ~ 2022 Edition

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kimetsu-no-imagines · 3 years

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Kink Headcanons - Tanjiro

a/n : had to think of something to write i guess!!!! also no one @ me after reading this okay, also this was originally goona be all three main boys but uhhhhhh i got carried away warnings ; pregnancy/breeding kink (and as such, implied/just straight up mpreg), general clothes/undergarment sniffing, explicit mentions/descriptions of oral, descriptions for both genitals for the reader, not proofread as per usual

Tanjiro

- i honestly feel like this goes without saying but - absolutely, unequivocally wants to get you pregnant. - any time you’re having sex or about to have sex or really just any time at all, the thought and the vision of you all round and glowing with his child is..........just painted on the insides of his eyelids. - there’s an odd amount of guilt about it, he thinks-would it be pressuring you, to tell you about this desire? would you feel obligated to oblige him? - for those reasons, this desire remains a secret. .... for a while. - something he is less than secretive about is his addiction and admiration of your, ah... scent. - your undergarments go missing regularly. he claims not to know anything, even offers to help you look-but then you’ll walk in on him later and catch him with the cloth pressed up to his face, as nose, as much as it possibly could be. - tanjiro isn’t typically one to tease, but whenever this happens-and it’s a repeated occurrence, i promise-he just gives you the same coy, almost innocent smile as he removes his other hand from his dick and beckons you to join him. - “ahh... hello there, flower. i miss the real thing, won’t you come over here?” - it’s times like those where he could sit you on his face for...h o u r s. - he can-and has, most likely will-cum untouched just from being between your legs. - and it doesn’t matter what exactly you have down there, either-you’re sitting on his face. he won’t stop begging until you do. - to get into specifics, though; - if you have a cunt, between his tongue rapidly moving from being inside you or against your clit, and all the pleasured humming and mumbles against you, it’s almost always a very... overstimulating experience. he’ll stop if you really insist on it, of course, but.....usually he likes to go until he himself has had his fill of you. - and it’s much the same for if you happen to have a cock-though he might tease you a little more in this case, which is rare at all for him, so it really isn’t that much. he delights in the way you whine when he “hesitates” to take you down his throat-and he delights more in your pleasure-filled expression as he takes you all at once without any warning. i don’t think he has much of a gag reflex, with how strong his sense of smell and everything else is-he’s strong, you might say. - and because he is so utterly concerned with your pleasure and your pleasure alone... - his desires to knock you up, as previously mentioned, only come up by accident. or, well-maybe not an accident. not on your part. - who is he to tell you to stop when you’re riding him so... nicely, so expertly? who is he to interrupt your pleasure as you use him to get off like this? and yet, as he finds his end rapidly approaching and your movements only increasing... he grows anxious. - “love-l-love, flower, i’ll cum, you’ll make me cum, please relax for a moment, let me-” - but you interrupt him with words he’s only dreamed of hearing you say. - “fill me up, tanjiro-cum inside me.” - his breath falters for a second, and from above him you see his pupils almost burst with lust, but he fights to contain himself, simply biting his lip to hold in a whimper and nodding. - “... do you want that? you want to fill me up with you?” - your questions make him keen, and his hands abandon your waist to grip at the sheets like a vice, and he can’t help it, he’s been holding it in too long and it feels too good, so he blurts out almost helplessly. - “i-i want to get you pregnant, love, please-don’t stop-” - he’s beyond himself, so his words don’t catch up with him for several seconds-it’s only your slight pause that makes him start to panic, but even then, before he can rescind his statement you’re already doubling down on his cock again. - “give me your children, tanjiro, i want it, want it,” you chant over and over for him like it’ll save your life, and within literal seconds you’ve been flipped onto your back, knees hovering almost next to your ears as you’re pushed into a mating press, essentially-it’s like a dam has been broken, you swear you’ve never seen him quite like this. - “you’ll look so beautiful-” thrust “-swollen and round with my-” thrust “-our-o-our children, my love-take it, take it, take my children, flower, please, please-” - it’s all so much, for the pair of you, apparently-warmth fills you as watch tanjiro cum above you, his entire form trembling, and as if in response, you can’t help but follow directly after him. this is the first time he’s ever filled you up, in this nature, at least-not that you’re complaining. ... you’re not sure you’ll be satisfied doing it any other way, from now on.

#demon slayer #demon slayer kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer smut #demon slayer imagines #demon slayer x reader #tanjiro x reader #tanjiro smut

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stargazer-balladeer · 3 years

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S/o’s birthday but locks themselves in their rooms because they don’t feel special [Genshin Impact]

Characters Included: Aether, Childe, Diluc, Kaeya & Venti.

Notes: Ayeeee! Since it’s my birthday today, why not make this? :))) I actually got carried away 🥲 this is around 3.5k words in total. Hope ya’ll like this!

Reader’s Gender: Neutral (tho i think there’s a slight implied female hehe…)

Warning: probably some swear words here and there knowing me- and mild suggestive themes in kaeya’s part

[albedo, scaramouche, xiao]

Aether remembers your birthday more than he knows his- like srsly, he’s the kind that remembers his s/o’s bday more than his. He’s also the kind that celebrates it privately unless you want to celebrate it with others, which he doesn’t mind. He might have a hard time deciding what kind of gift you want, but sooner or later, he already has one (or multiples bc he can’t decide-).

Imagine his confusion when your day finally arrives but he can’t find you anywhere, even Paimon, who was excited to celebrate your bday (“oohh~ I can’t wait to eat the cake!” - Paimon), seems confused. Probably the culprit in planting worry in the travellers head as she jumps to conclusion that you might’ve been kidnapped.

Luckily, he checked your house before he could report it to the knights of Favonius or the Qixing (like any normal person should do really-). When he received no reply, he takes out the spare key you gave him and entered your house, an invasion of privacy he knows but it's an emergency-

Knowing that you’re in your room when he can’t find you downstairs, he knocks on your bedroom door softly while calling your name. Imagine his (and Paimon’s) relief when the door cracked open. Immediately engulfing you into a hug, he lets out a sigh of relief. He then proceeds to ask you what you were doing inside your room when it’s your birthday. His heart literally broke when you stated your reason. Tightening his hold around your figure, he smiles bitterly, knowing that feeling all too well..

“That’s not true. None of that stuff is true. Everyone deserves to feel special on their birthday, most especially you. We’ve brought some food, and cake of course. Also some gifts from other people. If you want, do you want to celebrate it with just the two, or rather three, of us?”

You, who was a literal angel in his eyes deserve the world. He honestly wants to find whoever put that idea in your head but that was reserved for another moment. For now, his main priority is your happiness. Guiding you downstairs where Paimon was (she left when aether hugged you, knowing you two needed privacy. also the cAKE-), he watches as your eyes sparkle at the sight of the cake.

Grinning softly he made sure you had fun with your birthday. Even though it would be more fun with more people, it feels more special if it’s celebrated with just the two of you. Staring you with pure adoration as you laughed merrily at the sight of Paimon stuffing herself with food. He couldn’t help himself but lean forward to place a kiss on your forehead and then on your lips, leaning back with a smile on his face.

“Happy birthday, my love. May many more to come. Maybe next time, we can invite other people. Though I don’t mind if we’ll celebrate it with just the two of us only-” And Paimon! Don’t forget about Paimon!” “Yes yes. And Paimon.”

Similar to Aether, he would most definitely remember your birthday. After all, it holds a special place in his heart, alongside his family. And since this boi is rich af, he would most definitely try to spoil you on your birthday. Piles of expensive (or just cheap yet meaningful) gifts, reservation to a high-class restaurant in Liyue Harbor, and all that glamour.

Actually, he didn’t find it odd that he didn’t see you immediately, thinking that you overslept or just relaxing in your house. But he soon finds it weird when it’s already around 3 in the afternoon and no sign of your face in the crowd, something he raised a brow at but shrugged it off. It isn’t until it’s almost the time of the reservation he made when he finally realized what’s going on.

When he arrived at your house, dressed in a suit similar to Zhongli except it’s entirely black and white, waiting for you to come out. After a couple of minutes, he soon got concerned and decided to enter your bedroom through the window (pls do not do this at home). Startled at the sudden appearance of your handsome yet cheeky boyfriend, he stares at you with eyes asking the questions he didn’t dare to tell.

Knowing he will get his answer one way or another, you decided to tell him about your dilemma. After you finished explaining yourself, silence surrounds you, which is quite worrisome since your boyfriend is known for his rather talkative behavior. Blinking in surprise at the sudden embrace of the 11th Harbinger, his hug was rather tight but not too tight that it cuts your oxygen. Speaking in a low, faint voice, a surprising feat for him, you can make out what he said as clear as day.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve noticed it sooner. I was trying to be a perfect boyfriend for you but I guess I failed in that aspect. You know, if you feel like you aren’t special enough to celebrate your birthday, then what about me? Me who stained his hands with the red blood of his enemies, always engaging in a fight, clashing with other blades. Insecurity is really an asshole huh? Let me make it up to you now. Let’s not anymore go to that stupid high-class restaurant, c’mon, up you go. You better dressed comfortably when I come back or else…”

Leaving you quickly before coming back immediately, this time in more comfortable clothing rather than the stiff suit he wore earlier. This time as well, he entered your house normally through the door. In his arms, he was holding a bunch of stuff and proceeded to dump it on the living room table. It was different kinds of movies in different genres, you spotted some of your favorite movies in them (makes you also wonder where he got these from since you don’t remember seeing these in the room he stays-).

He would suggest making a pillow fort, and while making the pillow fort, he proceeded to smack you with one. Which ensued a pillow fight between you two. It successfully made the both of you a laughing mess by the end, filled with feathers. Childe then carries you bridal style to the incomplete pillow fort and starts the movie you chose. Placing you in his lap and placing his head either on your shoulder or head depending on your height, cuddling you from behind tightly with a contented smile on his face.

“You know what? This might not be how I envisioned how your birthday would go, but I’m not complaining. Happy birthday, comrade. My most adorable and most cutest and only love. I love you so much that you’ll be the very reason why I die so suddenly. So stop being so cute okay?”

(You two are living together in this one.)

Diluc has the probability of forgetting your birthday due to his busy schedule, especially if it’s starting to rise when your birthday draws near. He might neglect you for a couple of days, too engrossed in his work. When the day finally arrives, it completely leaves his mind. Like he’ll think of it as a completely ordinary working day. It isn’t until one of your friends told him to send you their birthday greetings that he remembered. And oh boy does he feel guilty, like srsly, he literally froze when he realizes what day it is today. And you know what that means? ✨Panicc✨

Honestly, I can see him buying the whole store XD. In the state of panic, his common sense just leaves him completely that he ends us buying practically the whole store. It would be sent to the Dawn Winery immediately as he buys some flowers from Flora, who also sent you her birthday greetings, which made him more guilty-

When Diluc steps foot inside the manor, he tries to search for you outside the gardens where he usually finds you but when he doesn't, he gets worried. Asking the head maid immediately about your whereabouts, and his concern and worry (and guilt) grew even more when he finds out that you haven’t gone out of your room. He quickly went to your shared room, with the flowers still in his hands, and knocked on your door. Calling your name softly and asking for permission to enter, when granted he entered the room as quickly as possible. But seeing the sight of you bundled up in your blanket made his heart crack.

Placing the flowers at the bedside table, he quickly made his way in front of you and kneeled down to meet your eye level. You can tell he was very worried about you with how frantic his eyes seem and the concern underlying it. With the way he was staring at you, you can’t help but spill your insecurity to him. The reason why you were hiding in his room rather than go out to celebrate your day of birth. Every word you spill made his heart break even more. Seeing tears started to leak from your eyes, he placed his two hands on your face wiping away the tears with his thumbs. Smiling at you gently and placing a kiss on your eyelids and on your nose.

“I completely understand, my love. Even I sometimes feel that way. Also to the point where I don’t want to celebrate my birthday even, but that won’t do my love. You are so special, you deserve your special day to be well special. If you want to simply lay here and sleep, then so be it. If you want to go out and do something, then I’ll happily oblige. Let’s obliterate those awful thoughts, and if those keep persisting, I’ll slice them up for you. I’ll keep picking you up when you fall. So, what is your command, my love?” (i'm so tempted for him to say master-)

Whatever your answer may be, one thing for sure, Diluc is seen smiling adoringly at you. Even the maids noted how soft the master is around you, particularly today. Whether curled up together in the bed, with him embracing you tightly to his chest and placing a kiss on top of your head. And if you listen carefully, you can hear him quietly humming a tune that his father (or mother) sang to him. Or you two outside in the garden, simply admiring the view with his hand around your waist.

Either way, at the end of the day, he would wake you up or make you go inside for dinner. You haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch yet so you’re probably hungry by now. If you don’t want to leave your room or want to return to your room, he would understand and make the maids bring the food to you. When the maid(s) finally arrives with the food, you notice the cake on the tray. Looking at him as he chuckles, taking the trays from the maids. Humming a light tune, he scoops a spoonful of cake and holds it to your mouth, with a slight smirk on his face, eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Stop staring at me like that, did you really think I would let the day go by for you to not celebrate your birthday properly? From what I know, birthdays have cakes in them, whether a huge cake or a cupcake. Say ‘ahh’~... Happy birthday my love. May next year be more enjoyable than now.”

Kaeya remembers your birthday like the back of his hand, I think he’s even more excited than you really. Eagerly awaiting your birthday as he counts down the days, dropping hints and stuff to you birthday-related, and probably plans a birthday party for you. The knights immediately agreed on it, including a certain bard, traveler, and wine master (albeit more hesitantly). He made sure that this party would be successful, constantly checking on the plans and such. To the point that everyone was practically fed up with his constant questions. But they understand that he wants this to be a successful and enjoyable party for you. It got to the point where Diluc kicked him out of his Tavern after asking for the umpteenth time.

When your day finally arrives, he was practically beaming with joy and excitement. To the point where he can’t hide it behind the cool and suave facade he wears. He quickly made his way to you, going along with the plan of distracting you as they started to prepare for the party. In his total excitement, he didn’t notice the rather gloomy atmosphere around the house. But when he arrived at your door, that is when he noticed how quiet your house is.

Now albeit worried, his excited smile slipping from his face and now replaced with a worried frown, he knocked on your door, calling you in his usual teasing voice. When he didn’t hear your response, the bubble of anxiety appeared in his body. Twisting the knob and finding it unlocked, he quietly and carefully opened the door. Seeing your back immediately, seeing your side rise and fall making him sigh in relief that you were still alive. Closing the door gently but made a noise to alert you of his presence. Taking a seat behind you, he ran his cold fingers on your back, watching you arching at the sudden coldness of his fingers. Smiling slightly, he asked what’s wrong.

Turning around to face him, you buried your face on his chest, inhaling his strong masculine scent. Instinctively wrapping his arms around you, he played with your hair with one of his hands. Tapping on your head slightly, beckoning for you to answer his question. With no way out, you decided to come clean. You explain how you feel like you don’t feel like you deserve to be treated as special on your birthday and all that sort. His face was void of emotion as he stared at the ceiling with his unique pair of blue eyes. Outside he might seem emotionless. But inside, he was on the brink of insanity. Who dares to put such an idea on his s/o’s mind? Why would you think of that? Was this insecurity of yours also his fault?

“That must be the most stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re not special? Please. Don’t try to make me laugh with that joke ‘cause it’s not funny. You are a jewel, a star, a constellation. As rare as the gems, or rather visions. You can even rival the very sun with your smile. I know those demons in your head keep saying those words to you, the temptation is so tempting, right? Just succumbing to them to make them quiet. But that’s why I’m here, my dearest snowflake. I’m here for you. You’re so special to everyone, most especially to me. You mean the world to me. Anyway, enough of this tear-jerking stuff, we have a party to celebrate. And we can’t celebrate it without the birthday gal/guy now can we?”

Despite your protests, he lifted you effortlessly and carried you outside and into the dawn winery where the party was held. Placing you on the ground and pushing you forward where people from Mondstadt came and greeted you with happy birthdays. Smiling at the sight of you being overwhelmed at the warm greetings, and then chuckling at how bright your face became. Diluc nudges him to you, beckoning him to help you before returning to what he was previously doing (most likely trying to force a bard to not finish all the wines in the vicinity).

After a while in the party, Kaeya brings you to a secluded place with no people for air. Being in a party filled with people could be suffocating at times, especially if you’re not used to it. He intertwined his hands with yours and bends down to meet your eye level (or leans down if you have the same height as him-). He gives you a cheeky smile and proceeds to place a peck on your lips. Chuckling when you pouted and glared at him, wanting more kisses.

“My my, what a greedy vixen~ But it is indeed your birthday so I guess I have no choice but to oblige to whatever my birthday vixen wants me to do. Would you like me to strip as well? Haha. Kidding kidding. Happy birthday, princess/prince. May many more to come. Oh! I forgot. I heard from a certain birdie that you ordered for a personal performance from me~ would you like to get it now?”

Since we all know that Venti practically doesn’t do anything like every day, I would safely say that he would remember your birthday. Probably save some mora to buy you a gift for your birthday, even though it’s not as fancy as the people in Liyue (they all rich kids-), it’s still meaningful. He probably made a bracelet all by himself with the beads he either bought or also made by himself. Nevertheless, he was as excited as Kaeya for your birthday. Already prepared songs to sing for you when that day comes.

Venti immediately searches for you when the day finally arrives, but his excited and bright smile vanishes when he can’t find you in the crowd of people. Raising a brow at your sudden disappearance, he searched for you everywhere, the tavern, the church, the headquarters, everywhere but your house. So when he finally arrives at your house, he was filled with worry and concern. Entering your room through the window like usual, he sees your figure sitting on the floor while reading a book.

He pouted at the sight as he made his presence known by asking you why you were here and reading a book on your birthday. He watches as you jump from where you are and turns to look at him, sighing at the sight of him. He slowly made his way to you and sat next to you, his legs sprawled across the floor. He takes note of the food around you, which was non-birthday festive, it was just ordinary food. Not understanding why you’re sulking in your room, he asked you what’s wrong.

Venti’s eyes widened at your explanation, feeling the sadness leaking at the words you said. They weave themselves around his heart, squeezing it, making him have a hard time breathing. He shares your pain. He was your soulmate after all. He immediately engulfed you in a hug, stuffing his face on the crook of your neck. You were so vulnerable in his eyes. You were so fragile. He desperately wants to protect you from the pain. But looks like he can’t protect you from your own demons.

“Even though I promised myself to not say or do anything that’ll make you sad, I just need to get it off my chest. I’m sorry you had to suffer through that, those demons that a simple bard that weaves stories into songs can’t erase. Alright, no more feeling sorry for yourself. It’s time to get out and spend the rest of the day enjoyable, perfect for my precious Cecilia.”

Without any warnings, he picked you up and jumped out of your window. Shrieking at the sudden fast pace, you instinctively wrapped your hands around him as he landed on the ground. Giving you a smug smile while saying “didn’t think i’d let you fall now?” Please slap him. Anyway, he laughed at your aggression and continued to run. Even if you ask where you’re going, he just says it's a secret. So might as well enjoy being in his arms as he continues to run (you swear you can feel the wind adding to his speed but that was just maybe your imagination-).

After a while, he placed you down and you realized where you are. It was Starsnatch Cliff, surrounding you were Cecilia flowers. Venti jumped on you, making you fall to the ground as he giggles. His hat flown back from the force of his sudden attack, he still has that stupid big smile on his face. Since his laughter is contagious, you couldn’t help but laugh alongside him. His eyes glistened with delight at the sight of your smile finally. Grabbing your hand and placing the bracelet he made, he pressed a kiss on your knuckle.

“This bracelet shall be a promise from me to you, a fellow bard to the fairest queen/king. I shall love you for eternity, this heart will only beat for you, and this body belongs to you. If you’re in dire need of assistance, don’t hesitate to call me. I’ll be there, forever and always. Happy birthday, my sweet flower.”

[x] Main Page || [x] Mondstadt Page || [x] Fatui Harbingers Page

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #aether #aether x reader #childe #childe x reader #diluc #diluc x reader #kaeya #kaeya x reader #venti #venti x reader #aether headcanons #childe headcanons #diluc headcanons #kaeya headcanons #venti headcanons

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mysterioushogwartsrequests · 4 years

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Hello! Can I request an imagine with Draco and a Slytherin! Reader where they both are totally in love with each other and maybe one day in class Draco is being particularly needy/frustrated one day and she’s his partner and sees he’s super hard and she teases him but when class is over he asks the reader to give him a blowjob because he loves her mouth and he’s just so whiny and he later spoils the hell out of his girl at Hogsmeade!

This is literally SOOOO LONG!! I don’t know why I wrote so much, but I just really wanted to include all that stuff, lol. My excuse for the length is that I hit a 1,000 followers about two days ago so this is the celebratory piece!

This goes without saying, but this piece contains a lot of sexual content so please do not read if you are underage or uncomfortable with said topics. I also wrote this in a different perspective because I wanted to try it out so I hope you enjoy!

Warning: SMUT, Oral (Male Receiving)

Title: Princess

ϟ ϟ ϟ

It was a warm summer’s day, close to the start of the new term. These past few weeks at Malfoy Manor had been tense and Draco often found himself rather stressed . A large part of him felt guilty for leaving his mother at home in the presence of Lord Voldemort, but another part of him felt grateful to be out of his sight. Finally, he could escape the Dark Lord’s watchful eyes, but he could not escape the plan set for him to complete.

Draco’s eyebrows knitted together as he squinted towards the merchandise wall inside Twilfitt and Tattings. Even when he was not around, Draco could still sense the Dark Lord’s influence and the constant reminder of the outcome if he were to fail. However, as he thought of better ways to mend the vanishing cabinet, something caught his attention.

“Draco darling,” You called to him, stepping out of the changing room with a small smile on your face. Draco’s eyes widened in an instant, a lump forming in his throat as he examined the champagne dress clinging to your body. It was a delicate number with thin, spaghetti strap sleeves attached to the cowl-neck gown, the silk fabric shimmering softly as you stepped onto the podium.

With a content hum, Draco pushed himself off the wall, his grey eyes locked with yours in the shop mirror as he walked towards you. He rested his hand against your waist, his fingers tenderly sliding down to feel the smooth silk against them, “You look ravishing,” he whispered against your ear, pressing a kiss against the shell of it before stepping back to get a better view of you.

You smiled satisfyingly, taking a moment to admire the all-black ensemble he wore and how it slimmed him down in all the right places. He stood in a black turtleneck and a fitted suit jacket, his left hand in the pocket of his slacks while the thumb of the other swiped over his bottom lip. A string of questions crossed through Draco’s mind, “When would you wear this?” he thought, tapping his finger against his chin.

Surely, there was no surprise ball this year, he would’ve heard by now. “Would you wear it on a date?” he questioned, imagining a scenario where the two of you ate dinner at a fancy restaurant, illuminated by just candlelight. “Even better,” Draco trailed off, his eyes lingering over your arse as you admired yourself in the mirror, looking over your shoulder to see the diamond detail that connected the open back, “What would such an expensive piece of clothing look like on his dormitory floor?”

Draco recalled the conversation he shared with his mother a week prior, where she had counseled him after a particularly difficult day. Narcissa Malfoy had an interesting way of comforting her son. Of course, she sat and listened to him, holding him as he cried, a mixture of guilt and failure coursing through her veins as she fought against the Dark Lord’s plans for her beloved son. The next day, however, she entered Draco’s room with a smile and presented a brand-new wardrobe for him as a start of term gift.

Pulling himself away from his thoughts, Draco gave a gentle smile and looked up at you, instantly meeting your hopeful eyes.

“Oh, those eyes”

“I’m not sure if I should get it,” You admitted, your bottom lip jutting out in a pout as you hopped off the podium and halted in front of the platinum-haired boy. Closing his eyes, Draco took a deep breath, captivated by the intoxicating smell of vanilla radiating off your body. An exquisite aroma, packaged in a —hand-blown— glass perfume bottle with delicate golden leaves painted onto it, finished off with your initials carved at the bottom of it.

Another one of Draco’s thoughtful gifts.

“And why is that?” asked Draco, his hand resting against the side of your neck, his thumb rubbing small circles against your jaw. The dress was cut just right, the tight, draped bodice granted him a wonderful view of your breasts, but he looked away to halt the tightening of his pants.

“I’ve got no occasion for a dress like this,” declared a slightly defeated (Y/N), taking another glance in the mirror, “Well, we’ve still got the goodbye dinner with your parents” You recalled, running your hands down your hips, unintentionally catching Draco’s attention as he remembered the family dinner he had forgotten about.

“That settles it then,” announced Draco in a chipper tone, “I’ll buy the dress,” he grinned, stepping towards his girlfriend, but halting by the display of diamond accessories. With a glance over the merchandise, he pointed at a necklace set with a pair of earrings, receiving praises from the shopkeeper. Taking the necklace from the older wizard, Draco walked over to (Y/N), “turn around,” he uttered and you happily obliged, watching him as he placed the delicate piece around your neck.

“Draco-” you began to protest, but he only pressed a kiss against your cheek, clasping the necklace and letting his fingers linger at the back of your neck. The necklace was a breathtaking, diamond necklace with seven glittering emeralds spread evenly across the center.

“The bracelet and earrings will do nicely as well,” Draco said, nodding his head in approval and signaling for the shopkeeper to begin ringing them up. You opened your mouth to protest again, but Draco placed his finger against your lips, “I believe you recall what I’ve told you, hm?” he teased, raising a questioning eyebrow as (Y/N) nodded, fighting back a smile, “Then, let Daddy spoil you, Princess.”

There was no denying the power Draco’s tone held over you. His words shot straight between your legs, the feeling of his lips pressed against the side of your neck making you fall against him, finally becoming aware of his erection now pressed against your thigh.

“Let's finish up so we can go back to the Manor,” you proposed, shifting your thigh ever so slightly to provide him with some much-needed friction. Draco bit his lip and gave a stiff nod, stepping away from you before you could tease him further.

“Go change,” he ordered, the cocky smirk returning to his lips, “You’ve got five minutes.” Running back towards the dressing room, you peeled off the dress and stepped into your usual clothes, practically sprinting out of it once finished. After a hasty checkout, the two of you exited the shop hand-in-hand, the bag containing your gifts swinging in Draco’s other hand.

ϟ ϟ ϟ

This school year proved to be the most difficult one yet. N.E.W.T.s we’re now less than a year away and it was never too soon to begin revising. You, however, found it quite difficult to focus on school these last few days. Despite his constant reassurances that he was all right, (Y/N) found some of Draco’s recent behavior quite odd. This strange feeling first arose the week you stayed at Malfoy Manor, where the four of them sat cautiously at a table with Draco’s aunt, Bellatrix Lestrange. You had always had a good relationship with Draco’s relatives, but it was clear to you something was occurring under wraps, something Draco did not want you to know about. Noting his hesitation whenever you brought up the subject, you decided against prying any more information out of him and returned to your studies. Your dedication to academic achievement, much to your surprise, did not go unnoticed by the new Potions Master at Hogwarts, who had heard all about you and Miss Hermione Granger, the two top students of the sixth year.

Horace Slughorn was a portly, older man, but very gifted with potions and an excellent Professor. Upon arrival, he sought out some of the school’s most promising students and invited them to his office for an elegant dinner. One morning, during breakfast, your owl dropped the intricately decorated envelope right in front of your plate. You had no chance to conceal the envelope from your curious boyfriend, the same one that had tried, without succeeding, to get invited to said dinner.

However, to your surprise, Draco was not upset. Instead, he pressed a gentle kiss against your temple and muttered the words, “You deserve it, baby girl.” The pet name sends chills down your spine, a smile playing at your lip as his hand rests upon your knee, the cold metal of his rings easing any sort of tension in your body. His left hand rested against your jawline, his slender fingers twiddling with the pearl earring, admiring the small ruby motif encrusted right above the hanging pearl.

(Y/N) leaned her cheek against his palm, setting the invitation down on the dining hall table, “Are you sure, Darling?” you questioned, taking the time to rest your hand over his, “I might not be able to fit it into my schedule...” you admitted, thoughts of Draco’s mysterious disappearances crossing your mind. Bringing your hand up to his mouth, Draco pressed a soft kiss against the back of it before leaning to press one against your lips.

“I think,” he started, a sparkle of mischief in his eyes, “You should go show them what the brightest, most caring, and, without a doubt, sexiest girl in Slytherin House has to offer” Draco praised, giving your thigh a small squeeze before dipping to steal another kiss from you, “How does that sound?” He asked sweetly, showering you with yet another kiss, this one against your forehead.

It was no secret that Draco Malfoy and (Y/N) (L/N) were truly and undeniably in love. Often, the corridors were filled with the incessant whispers of jealous girls who longed for Draco’s attention, but he paid no attention to them. The Slytherin Prince only had eyes for you, the only constant ray of sunshine in his life. Whenever he looked at you, he reminded himself of his vow to keep you completely satisfied, and the only reward he wanted was seeing that gorgeous smile on your face. You were everything to him. You were the only one who knew about his previous family troubles, the one who would hold him when he cried during the late hours of the evening. The one who would fix his tie the second it seemed out of place, the one who would rub his shoulders whenever you noticed him bent over his assignments.

He would do everything and anything to ensure you felt like the luckiest girl in the world because he knew you, out of all people, deserved it the most.

”You make an excellent point, Mr. Malfoy,” You grinned, nodding your head in agreement, and flinging your arms around his shoulders. A soft smile crept up Draco’s lips as his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you tightly against his chest and placing a kiss at the top of your head.

“Don’t I always?” teased Draco, running his fingers through your hair as the other students exited the Great Hall and made their way towards the classes. Rolling your eyes at his response, you placed your hand against his cheek, stealing a kiss from him this time and rising from your seat.

“We should go,” you announced, stretching your hand out for him to grab, which he happily obliged, rising from the bench and escorting you to your classroom.

ϟ ϟ ϟ

A week had passed since Slughorn’s dinner party, the memory of the evening still fresh in Draco’s mind as he tapped his fingers against the wooden desk. Needless to say, he was not particularly pleased with the events of last Saturday. One of Slughorn’s guests had taken quite the liking to you, practically undressing you with his eyes during breakfast hours, something Draco found incredibly disrespectful. He recalled the way Cormac McLaggen eyed you this morning when you bent over to kiss your boyfriend goodbye, skipping out of the Great Hall without a care in the world.

Draco clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white as his eyebrows knitted together, sparks of frustration igniting within him. Not only was McLaggen ogling you like you were his last meal, but he was also casually brushing up beside you in the corridors, shooting Draco arrogant smirks when they locked eyes.

Oh, how he would love to jinx that insufferable look off his face. Yeah, that’ll show him.

He should have been paying attention to Professor Flitwick discussing the proper hand movement for the Gouging Spell, but the thoughts of McLaggen badgering you when he was not around boiled his blood. In hindsight, it was a good thing he was neglecting this lesson because the prospect of gouging a large hole through Cormac seemed very appealing.

You were particularly busy this week and did not have a lot of time to spend with Draco. Sure, the two of you bid your usual goodnights in the Slytherin common room, but your studying had kept you away from Draco. Due to this, Draco Malfoy was left very touch starved and found himself daydreaming of your earlier rendezvous around the castle.

Draco turned his head towards you, his face relaxing at once as he watched you diligently taking notes, as usual. You had your bottom lip between your teeth, gnawing it softly as your quill scratched against the parchment. With a content sigh, he admired your concentration and wondered how a person could be that gorgeous. He was, truly, the luckiest man in the world when it came to you.

He supposed that one could not blame McLaggen for falling for you- I mean, who wouldn’t? Any person would be swept off their feet if you entered the room wearing those silk dresses you were oh so fond of. Draco glanced down at those pretty, pink lips of yours, his eyes practically rolling to the back of his head as you parted them, tongue swiping over your upper lip as you added the final details to your diagram.

Biting his lip, Draco forced his attention towards Professor Flitwick, but it was already too late. The thoughts of you, sprawled across his bed at Malfoy Manor were enough to replace his earlier frustrations with feelings of lust.

“Stop,” thought Draco, closing his eyes to contain his feelings, but it was no use. Your lips made an “O” shape when you finally grasped the Charms concepts, making goosebumps appear on Draco’s skin as he shuddered.

What he would do to have you begging for him right now.

His pants grew considerably tighter and he couldn’t help but feel grateful towards the school uniforms. The robe he was wearing did a decent job at hiding his current problem, but he knew it would be noticeable when he stood. However, that did not stop him from hearing the way you called his name in the back of his head.

“Please, Draco...”

“Fuck,” cursed Draco under his breath, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, a slight touch of pink dusting his cheeks. Unable to keep his eyes away, Draco looked back towards you, scanning the soft skin of your neck, and noting how awfully bare it looked. With his self-restraint wavering, he subtly slid down the bench you shared and rested his hand on your knee, something he did quite often. However, you did not question him until you felt his lips against your neck and a hand wrapped tightly around your thigh. Turning your head to face him, you were surprised to see him with his hand over his mouth, his eyes averted from yours as his fingers danced against the smooth skin of your inner thigh.

“Draco,” you cooed, but the only response you received was a rather harsh nip at your neck, “Draco, someone will see…”

“I don’t care,” Draco snarled against your ear, “I need this bloody class to be over…” He murmured in a much softer tone, his hand rubbing circles against your thigh and inching closer to your clothed heat. But once you turned to scold him, you noticed the dark, red blush that painted his cheeks and felt his hot breath fanning against your face.

“Are you alright?” you asked cautiously, innocently rubbing your thumb against his thigh, but that only made Draco twitch in his seat, and his reaction suddenly lit the bulb over your head. Your lips curled into a smirk as your hand moved closer to the bulge on Draco’s pants, turning your attention towards the front of the class as you continued your movements.

Luckily, the two of you sat at the farthest end of the Charms classroom, away from any overly inquisitive eyes. You were certain nobody would notice, if Draco kept his cool, the two of you would be in the clear.

“Couldn’t even wait till class was over?” You tutted, delicately tracing your fingers over his crotch, and smirking as he shifted in his seat, “Be careful, I don’t want us to get caught.” You added, firmly cupping his erection through his slacks, a wide grin spreading across your face as he doubled down and hid his face behind a book he propped up. It was honestly quite surprising to see Draco this way. Usually, he would be the one teasing you to no end, but you were currently in control and that was enough to light the fire of your arousal.

“D-Don’t stop,” Draco pleaded under his breath, biting down on his thumb to hold back a moan as your palm worked to release the built-up tension. Encouraged by his dick twitching underneath your hand, you quickened your pace and watched as he parted his lips, struggling to keep any sound from coming out. As his breathing grew more ragged, you felt his abdominal muscles tense up against your touch, indicating that his release would wash over him soon.

Fighting to keep the small sense of composure he had left, Draco gripped (Y/N)’s wrist and halted her movements. It took him a minute to catch his breath, but when he did, he spoke in a low whisper, “Wait...” His eyes never met yours because if he looked into those beautiful eyes of yours, he would not be able to control himself. And although the prospect of taking you over the desk seemed quite promising, he did not fancy the idea of letting the rest of the student body see you bent over in such a vulnerable state.

That was only for him, of course.��

“What’s wrong, Darling?” You teased letting your fingers trace over his crotch again, but he only clicked his tongue at you. Draco knew you too well, he knew you were only trying to rile him up again, but he could not let that happen, not right now. With adrenaline coursing through your body, you leaned towards Draco and let your breath fan against his neck before licking a stripe behind his ear, “Didn’t want to come all over those expensive slacks of yours, hm?” You murmured, gently nipping his earlobe, and taking his momentary lapse of strength to palm his erection once more.

Draco gritted his teeth once again, pulling your hand away from his pants, “I said wait,” he growled, his lust-clouded eyes finally meeting yours, “You do know how to follow instructions, don’t you?” He asked in a much harsher, more desperate tone.

“Depends on who’s giving them.” You replied sarcastically, placing your free hand on his knee with a smirk.

However, Draco did not get a chance to shoot his response back at you. Once the bell signaling the end of class rang, he shot up off his seat and gathered both your belongings before taking your hand and hastily pulling you out of the classroom. A few students stared as the two of you rushed down the hall, blushing in embarrassment as you stumbled after Draco.

His hand gripped yours tightly, leading you towards the Prefects’ bathroom, and stuttering out the password once the two of you arrived. Flinging your book bags across the floor, Draco turned and stalked towards you making you step back until your back hit something solid.

“Think you’re funny, are you?” sneered Draco, pinning you against one of the cubicles, his thigh pressed firmly between your legs and his right forearm braced beside your head. Replicating your earlier movements, Draco dragged his tongue underneath your ear before taking the lobe between his teeth, making you gasp. “Why don’t we put that filthy mouth of yours to better use?” He cooed, blowing a puff of air against your ear, and admiring it as it turned red.

With a sudden burst of confidence, you gripped his robes and pulled his face towards yours, breaths mingling together, “I think,” You muttered, leaning your lips close to his, “That’s the best idea you’ve had all day…” Looking up at his half-lidded eyes, you crashed your lips against Draco’s, fingers immediately tangling themselves in his hair. Draco returned your kiss eagerly, his hands cupping your arse underneath your skirt and pulling your body flush against his.

You could feel Draco growing more impatient by the minute. His hands were grabbing desperately at your skin, squeezing every inch of bare flesh he could feel. Longing to have you closer to him, Draco slipped his hand underneath your thigh and hooked it over his hip, fingers gripping hard enough to bruise. Your back arched off the wall, hips grinding against Draco’s as your tongues laced together in a heated kiss. Tugging at your tie, Draco reached to unbutton your blouse and pulled it open, exposing your bra-clad breasts.

He pressed his lips against the base of your neck, biting and sucking encouraged by your moans beside his ear. One of his hands held your thigh firmly while the other kneaded your left breast, pulling the fabric of your bra down and taking your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. You gasped harshly, bucking into him, and digging your fingers into his hair, messing up the parts that remained previously neat. Draco rolled his erection against your soaked panties, smiling down at your face as his hands kneaded your clothed breasts, “So pretty,” he murmured, captivated by your flushed face and the shameful sounds passing through your lips.

Your hands reached up to grab his face, pulling him down for another kiss. This time, using the momentum to switch your positions so Draco’s back hit the stall door, earning a small moan of surprise from him. Grinning up at him, you pressed your lips against his neck and slid your hand down the front of his body, cupping him firmly as you sucked the sensitive skin.

Draco let out gasping breaths as you moved your hand, his fingers digging into your waist, “On your knees,” commanded Draco, trying to regain some sort of control over the situation. You obliged happily, dropping down to your knees and lazily running your fingers over his thighs before reaching up for his belt. After fiddling with the buckle, you took your time sliding Draco’s slacks down, purposely neglecting his throbbing dick hidden in his underwear.

“Don’t be a tease,” snapped Draco, gripping your chin harshly, “Suck,” He commanded firmly, releasing you as you pulled down his boxer briefs. Draco’s thick length snapped up towards his lower abs, almost slapping you in the face when it sprung out of its constraints. Almost drooling at the glorious sight of his cock, you took it in your hand, running your thumb over the pre-cum leaking out of the reddened tip. Draco bucked his hips forwards, hissing at the light touch, and looking down at your concentrated expression as you slowly pumped your hand.

Lolling your tongue out dramatically, you leaned forwards and gave the tip a kitten lick, earning a frustrated groan from Draco. Satisfied with his discomfort, you gave the swollen tip another kiss before taking his length fully into your mouth. He let out a strangled gasp in response, his eyes squeezed shut as you enthusiastically licked up his length. Sealing off your lips, much like a vacuum seal, you bobbed your head up and down his shaft, tongue swirling around it as Draco trembled underneath you, his hand over his mouth attempting to stifle the sounds coming out of it.

Draco looked down at you, unable to control the string of low moans and grunts spewing from his lips. The sight of your plump lips stretching around his cock made him lose the few ounces of coherent thoughts he had left in his mind. Draco let out another strangled moan, throwing his head back against the stall door as you swirl your tongue around his shaft and use your hand to pump the base of his cock. His hand flew to the back of your head when you moved to take all of him in your mouth, your nose brushing the trimmed tufts of hair as you choked around him, the contraction of your throat making him groan out your name.

With another husky moan, Draco balled your hair up into a ponytail and used it as leverage to thrust into your mouth. “Yes, yes,” whimpered Draco, his face flushed red and his breath caught in his throat, “Just like that, (Y/N)” he hissed, his grey eyes flickering down and meeting yours, making his roll back again as he pulled his lip between his teeth. Your fingernails dug into the back of his thighs, squeezing them tighter as he quickened his pace. You moaned around his dick, the vibrations sending a violent quake through his body as he face-fucked you, his climax only moments away.

“Ah, you take my cock so well, Princess” groaned Draco, his pace stuttering, “You’re so bloody gorgeous” He sighed, his fingers delving tightly into your hair as you continued to swirl your tongue around the shaft, relaxing your jaw to let the tip of his penis hit the back of your throat.

The sounds coming from Draco’s mouth had you soaking wet and yearning to feel his load shoot down your throat. Determined to finish him off, you moved your hand to fondle his balls, moaning with satisfaction as his cock pulsated in your mouth. His breaths grew ragged and the only sounds coming from him were small whimpers and grunts. You looked up at him through your eyelashes, his platinum blonde hair fell messily over his eyes, which were currently screwed shut as his face twisted with pleasure.

Draco’s eyes fluttered open, meeting your eager ones for a second time, but it was too much. Cursing loudly, Draco’s pace grew sloppier and rougher, his body trembling as you fondled his balls once again.

“(Y/N)!” He cried out as you gagged around him, thick ropes of cum coating the inside of your mouth as he came, hard. You struggled to swallow his heavy load, but you were adamant on taking every last drop, just how he liked it. Draco gasped as he caught his breath, his hand still in your hair as he gave your mouth two final shallow thrusts, pulling out as you licked him clean.

With his chest heaving, Draco delicately placed his hand against your cheek and slid his thumb over your swollen lips. You press a chaste kiss against the pad of his thumb, the corners of your mouth curling up into a loving smile. He brought you back up to your feet, capturing your lips in a kiss that was all tongue before pulling away with a satisfied smile on his face.

“You’re quite chipper now, aren’t you?” You teased, hitting him playfully on the shoulder as he pulled his slacks up, tucking his shirt back into his pants and shooting you a wink.

“Yes, actually,” He retorted, his usual smirk appearing on his lips, “And why is that?” You asked, taking the time to button your own shirt, blushing as Draco stalked towards you. He placed his hand on the side of your neck, pulling down your collar to admire the angry, red marks that decorated it.

With a small huff, he dipped down and sucked on the spot below your jaw, your knees buckling and hands gripping his shoulders as he bit down. Once he was satisfied with his handiwork, Draco pulled away, smirking at the mark that would surely be visible for days.

“Because I’m the only one who gets to have you like this,” admitted Draco, pulling you into a hug and resting his chin atop your head, “Can’t wait until I catch McLoser drooling over you, I’ll make sure to remind him who he’s dealing with.”

You laughed at Draco’s declaration, your arms tightening around him as you embraced, “Are you ready for lunch then? He could already be there” You teased, pressing a kiss against his nose, and pulling away to pick up your bag from the bathroom floor. Draco chuckled as you skipped back towards him, giving your behind a playful smack as you walked past him, “Don’t run off thinking I won’t return the favor,” stated Draco salaciously, catching your hand and pulling you back before you could exit the bathroom.

You looked up at him with a curious expression, “Is that so?” You questioned with a grin, walking towards him, and placing your hand on his chest, “Is it something I should look forward to?” You asked, tilting your head to the side innocently.

Draco laughed, raising his hand to cup your cheek, “Come to my room tonight at eleven, wearing that pretty little dress from Twilfitt and Tattings,” muttered Draco, his lips close to yours once again, “I’ll make it worth your while,” he winked, his fingers dipping underneath your skirt to swipe over your clothed core.

Shivering under his touch, you blushed embarrassingly as he examined the slick now coating his finger, “All for me, Princess?” He teased, contently licking his finger clean and grabbing his own book bag, “Actually, I was thinking about McLaggen” you quipped, stepping out of the Prefect’s bathroom with a bounce in your step which Draco followed after, his eyebrows furrowed as he flanked you.

“Careful, Love” warned Draco with a hum, his hand sliding into yours as you walked, “or I’ll have to teach that naughty mouth of yours another lesson.”

ϟ ϟ ϟ

Your four-year anniversary drew nearer, and you found yourself worried about Draco’s behavior yet again. He grew increasingly distant as the term progressed and you could not help but worry, despite his constant reassurances, stating there was nothing to worry about. This, again, left you feeling frustrated. You and Draco started dating during your third year and it had taken a while to break down his walls to understand him, but now it seemed like some of that progress was overturned.

However, when he was around, he always made the effort to shower you with affection and ensure you were being taken care of. Draco knew your habits better than anything, he knew you would be questioning his behavior and launching your own investigations to find the underlying cause of it, but he could not let you interfere. He was already under fire for having ‘distractions’ and had promised the Dark Lord nothing would come in the way of his success.

To keep you safe, you had to be left in the dark. It wounded Draco to see that distraught expression on your face when he came into the common room past midnight, sometimes even asleep, curled up on the couch waiting for him to return. He felt guilty for putting you through all this, but it was necessary for your safety and nothing was more important than protecting you.

His nights were constantly haunted by horrifying images of you injured or worse, dead in his arms after some terrible mistake he made. These thoughts were constantly wearing him down, but he could not tell you, it was just too risky to involve you in this situation. This stressful internal struggle encouraged Draco to show you how much you meant to him.

He wanted you to know that you were, truly, the most important person in his life.

“Draco,” You whined with your hands over your eyes as Draco led you through the empty streets of Hogsmeade, “Can’t I just open my eyes? I’ve been to Hogsmeade plenty of times” you reminded him, but he only chuckled beside you, holding you by the waist as you walked.

“I’m trying to surprise you,” Draco stated, rolling his eyes, “So why don’t you stop complaining and follow me.” He declared, pressing a kiss against your cheek, and leading you towards the clothing shops in the village. Draco halted in front of a large store window, looking up at the dress and envisioning you in them with a proud grin.

“Alright,” he started, grabbing the hands that covered your face, “Ready?” He murmured, pressing a kiss against her fingertips as you nodded. Counting to three, Draco pulled your hands away from your face and stepped out of your view, letting you take in the sight before you.

In front of you stood a tall mannequin wearing a floor-length shimmering, emerald green gown with small silver detailing the bust, “Wow” you muttered breathlessly, leaning closer to the window to get a better look of the design. The mannequin turned 180 degrees, giving her a better view of the open back and long train that followed the dress.

“Do you like it?” Draco asked, looking down at his ring with a content smile on his face.

Your eyes scanned over the glittering, diamond pendant necklace complete with matching water drop earrings, “It’s gorgeous,” you replied, looking over at your boyfriend with a puzzled expression, “Why do I get the feeling you’re up to something?” You asked, quirking your eyebrow at him as he laughed.

“You know me well, Darling” Draco admitted sheepishly, leading you towards the door of the stop and holding it open, “I just thought, since you’ve been attending Slughorn’s dinner parties, that you would need some more evening outfits to show off,” He stated proudly, his hand against the small of your back as he gestured you towards the changing rooms.

“Draco, I couldn’t possibly! You bought me one at the start of term!” You protested, grabbing his hands but part of you knew his mind was already made up.

“You’re right,” He agreed with a nod, placing his hand against your cheek, “And I’m going to buy you four more today,” He stated nonchalantly, looking back at the four sets of the dresses brought over by the shopkeeper, “You better get started,” he urged, taking a seat on the ottoman in front of the dressing room.

With a loving smile, you captured Draco’s lips in a kiss, “I love you” You said, squeezing his hand as he returned your smile.

“And I love you most,” He replied, pressing a kiss against your forehead, and urging towards the dressing room, “Come on, I want to see how stunning you look in those.” Giggling, you ran into the changing room, winking back at Draco before sliding the curtain close and getting into the first dress.

Several hours later, you and Draco exited the shop with four bags containing various dresses, jewelry pieces, and, even, a brand-new suit. After one final stop at Honeydukes, the two of you made your way towards the castle, treasuring the time you spent together and the memories you created while doing so.

#Draco Malfoy #draco malfoy smut #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy reader insert #draco x slytherin #Harry Potter #Harry Potter Smut #harry potter imagines #harry potter imagine #draco malfoy x reader smut #hogwarts mystery #hogwarts request #hogwarts fan fiction #hogwarts fanfiction #hogwarts mystery fanfic

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pourcap · 2 years

Text

thoughts: cp chapter 12

laurent is once again a snarky little shit

'You had far less reason to help me than I did to help you.’ ‘That’s certainly true.' hhhh i really do love damen's wit too

'You don’t prettify what you think, do you?’ said Laurent, still frowning. ‘A more artful man would. An artful man would have stayed put, and won advantage by fostering the sense of obligation and guilt in his master.' ohhh. i see. laurent, who is only used to vere's typical underhandedness, is confused by damen being so straightforward... i like this dynamic and i think laurent will come to like it as well? i mean, he obviously can't feel safe even in his own palace. damen's honesty must be a nice surprise. unless of course laurent finds out who he really is :D

Damen thought about that. ‘Are you? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you shy away from a fight. More like the opposite.’ I LOVE THIS. finally someone who can think for themselves (looking at you, every single member of the regent's guard)

'How far did you get?’ ‘Not far. A brothel somewhere in the southern quarter.’ ‘Had it really been that long since Ancel?' i love this, too. is laurent teasing??? for once, he sounds mild at least

'I am going to lock you up so tightly you won’t be able to breathe, let alone inconvenience me like this again.’ ok nevermind i forgot who damen was talking to for a sec lol

He threw it across the room in an expression of total violent impotent rage. god i feel so bad for him :/ it must be torturous to be free one minute and locked up again the next, esp when 1) you're supposed to be king and 2) your traitorous brother now rules your beloved country in your stead

He understood. ??????

Into his room, alone, dismissing the guards, came the Regent. noooo not again i hate him

the way the regent's described: authoritative and powerful... i understand why people would trust him to rule vere and i hate it

The Regent gazed at him. ‘You are quite diplomatic. For a soldier.' ok, that's strange... does he know who damen is?? the way he said that last bit sounded odd

So were you, came the thought, unbidden. i love damen. love him. he's so... fair? idk if that's the right word. i am german so hopefully everyone understands what i'm trying to say

ohh laurent is here

ugh can the regent stop talking about laurent's brother for once?

'Did you think there was some deeper plot here?’ said Laurent. They gazed at each other. so... there is a deeper plot? and laurent apparently knows there is. the akielon weapons etc.? was that what damen also understood when he was alone in his cell?

'Teach me how to thank you.’ Damen expected the Regent to reply, but he was silent, his eyes on his nephew. soooooo that exchange gave me a horrible feeling in my gut :D

'I assume he was to say that Kastor sent him.' aaaah. so if they had managed to kill laurent, damen would absolutely get framed and end up dead as well. that's... very neat

'Someone is trying to provoke war between Akielos and Vere.' war?? okay that's a lot bigger than i was expecting. i thought the regent just wanted laurent and damen out of the picture

'(...) If only my murder weren’t the catalyst, it’s a scheme I would wholeheartedly support.' laurent is so enigmatic and interesting. i loooove listening to him talk

i also love laurent basically giving damen all the clues to the right answers to his questions but i'm wondering why he doesn't just tell him what's going on? does he like the way damen thinks or is it a test of some sort? does he want to know if damen has also been fooled by his uncle to some extent or is he simply finding some twisted enjoyment in watching damen realize how dangerous things are going to get for akielos?

'Because,’ said Laurent, ‘my uncle is the murderer.' :))))) i just genuinely hate the regent sm :)))))

#captiveprince #capri #damen of akielos #damianos #damen #laurent #damen x laurent #lamen #laurent of vere

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

Note

ok, so we have paranoid bella and all other incarnations, but what about Bella who is just a complete sociopath. She completely understands what a vampire is and what she's getting into by wanting to be one. Bella just wants to be immoral and powerful regardless of the consequences. Edward can't read her mind and I imagine Bella has learned social cues and hiding evidence enough to be about at an equal level social standings wise with already weird book Bella. How does the twilight series go?

Anon is referring to Paranoid Bella.

And oh boy, alright, let's do this I suppose.

On Why Bella Doesn't Have to Be the World's Greatest Actress

Of a note, I don't think Edward would even notice that Bella's... odd. Even if she were a fantastic actress (Bella is notably in canon a very poor liar and very easy to read).

This is because he doesn't actually care what Bella is like, he projects onto her, and she smells phenomenal. In other words, he'll still tell himself Bella's a feminine Carlisle Cullen knock off even if she's drowning puppies in a well.

So Bella doesn't need those social cues, Edward genuinely will not notice, and he will not care.

Regardless, you've set the stage with a completely different character and I guess we're going with that.

The Tale of Sociopath Bella

As in canon, Bella immediately notes something is off about the Cullens. Then Edward tries to eat her in Biology. In canon, Bella was terrified in this moment and genuinely thought this boy might kill her. She later tells herself this was irrational and tries to shrug it off, but none the less, she was terrified.

You don't give me too much to go off of with Sociopath Bella in terms of personality traits, but I imagine she still fears for her life in this moment.

I imagine what she does is, after collecting herself, try to get Edward Cullen thrown out of school. Bella is now a sociopath with no empathy towards others, Edward Cullen makes her uncomfortable and appears to actively wish her harm, she's going to do something about this.

I imagine, rather like Amy Dunne from "Gone Girl", she accuses him of sexual assault and goes about fabricating evidence, including harming herself. When asked, others agree that Edward was acting very strange in Biology towards Bella Swan and is generally kind of creepy. Even the administration agrees that something odd appeared to happen, as Edward tried to switch out of his Biology class immediately and then he disappeared without warning for a week after having appeared perfectly healthy the day before.

Something happened in that class, or after it, and that something seems to revolve around Bella Swan.

There's no real evidence, but there's enough suspicion that Edward is granted his wish when he returns: he gets moved into Physics. Edward, of course, is appalled. That girl not only humiliated him and ruined his life by merely existing and smelling delicious, but now she's spreading slanderous lies about him. His family, of course, knows the truth and tries to comfort him (it doesn't really matter, there's no evidence and they'll be gone in a few years anyway, as it is they can leave early if they have to and no harm done) but Edward seethes.

He makes a point of confronting Bella, both to notice if she noticed anything odd (as in canon), and to get revenge for her slander. Unfortunately for Edward, again, there's a little too many witnesses, and Edward looks... unfriendly. Bella files for a restraining order through her father, it's approved in record time.

Edward is now livid.

This woman is the devil.

Well, that there seals Bella's fate. She is a great evil upon this earth, the worst kind of woman, and in a way just as monstrous as the rapist pigs he used to eat. She's destroying his family's reputation in this town, destroying his school life, and he won't stand for it. Carlisle wouldn't approve, but at some point, the demon wins.

Edward gleefully eats Bella in her bedroom. The crime scene is as grotesque and bloody as you can imagine.

Which, of course, also makes him the primary murder suspect (correct in this case, well done Charlie). With the advent of the internet, with cable television, and with Edward now having to disappear before they start trying to get DNA, the Cullens have to go off the grid and exit society.

They now live in a cave, thanks to Edward and Bella.

But That Wasn't What I Wanted!

I get the feeling you wanted to get a little further into canon than that. So, for once, I'll oblige.

Sociopath Bella, for whatever reason, holds her tongue and takes no action when Edward is terrifying as fuck in Biology. He disappears for a week, she finds this very strange, then he returns, clearly interested in her, which is also very strange.

Bella continues to have no sense of self-preservation (for some reason) and still does not take action against Edward. Even when he confesses to wanting to eat her on numerous occasions.

By the time Bella figures out Edward's a vampire, she wants to be one, desperately. Edward doesn't seem... amenable.

But unlike Canon Bella, Sociopath Bella isn't here to please Edward. After the James incident, and she's met the family, I imagine she takes stock of her options and tries to see who is her best mark.

I imagine Bella lands on either Carlisle or Jasper. Carlisle, because he has the best control and has clearly turned several already, and Jasper because he has shown no hesitation on doing what he believes needs to be done regardless of the family.

If she approaches Carlisle, I imagine she points out the peril her life is in. Edward could crush her at any moment, she nearly died thanks to James, her very existence puts his coven in peril and Edward does not seem inclined to let her go either. This is untenable. (I imagine Bella also learns during the course of this conversation about the Volturi Law, as Carlisle undoubtedly explains it in clearer terms than Edward initially did). Edward has condemned her to death, they both know it, and it's best Carlisle turn her sooner rather than later.

Carlisle is deeply uncomfortable with this but doesn't disagree. I imagine he tries to argue for after Bella's graduation, when she can more easily disappear. I imagine she pushes for that summer, plans a hiking accident and forces his hand with "sooner is better than later".

If she goes to Jasper, Bella points out the same thing. This is untenable, she's breaking the law by existing, she must be turned. Jasper fully agrees (and would like not to eat her) but he doesn't have the control to turn her. He would in turn go to Carlisle (leading to the above scenario).

Now, through Alice's visions, Edward would likely find out about all of this and throw the greatest fit the world has ever seen. He rages at Bella, then himself when he realizes she has a bit of a point and he's condemned her to be a vampire, then rages at her again because the Volturi need not ever know and EDWARD WILL LEAVE HER DAMN YOU!

I imagine Bella keeps pushing, which may get her mercy killed by Edward.

In the event that his guilt is all-consuming and he can't even grant her mercy for he is such a wretched beast, Bella turns, and...

I imagine she's a perfect Cullen.

Bella has superb control, to the point of ridiculousness, more the Cullen lifestyle appeals to her beyond just immortality. They have stability, material wealth, and while Bella doesn't care about the familial connection she won't say no to it either.

Being a man eating nomad has no appeal to this Bella.

She'll follow the diet meticulously to a t, do the high school routine perfectly, and ignore Edward's spiral into depression and despair now that he's ruined Bella Swan's life.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #bella swan #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #bella/edward #anti bella/edward #carlisle cullen #jasper whitlock #meta #headcanon #opinion

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kyotarou · 3 years

Note

could i request some head canons for kageyama, kuroo, kenma and or tsukki with an s/o who is scared of loud noises? (like yelling, fireworks, sirens, etc)

characters: tobio kageyama, tetsurou kuroo, kenma kozume, kei tsukishima

warnings: fluff, angst if you dissect it

a/n: as of rn requests are CLOSED! i want to focus on my own works but they’ll reopen soon :)

Kageyama (sirens)

Kags would be confused

While on a stroll around the city, he doesn’t understand why you’ve stopped at the sight of a police car up ahead with its sirens on

He laughs to himself and thinks you’re scared of getting arrested

But when it comes closer, followed by a fire truck whose sirens are 10x louder, you start shaking and duck your head into his shoulder

Even though both have passed and the sound is distant, you plug your ears and don’t look up

He gently pushes your head off him

“(Y/N), they’re gone.”

“Huh?”

“The police car and the fire truck. They’re gone now.”

You look away in embarrassment

“Sorry, I’m such a baby huh?”

Kags thinks it’s cute but he’s also concerned

How did he not know you were afraid of sirens this whole time?

He takes your hand and pulls you close to him

“It’s okay, (Y/N). I’m always here to protect you.”

Kuroo (yelling)

You and Kuroo are watching a romance movie

There’s a scene where the couple has a heated argument

Kuroo notices how tense you are and assumes it's because you’re invested in the plot

You were excited to watch this movie anyway so it makes sense you’d want the characters to make up

But you’re not focused on the plot; instead, your eyes are fixed on a blank spot on the wall and your leg is bouncing up and down

Kuroo sees your eyes become misty and reaches out to you

His stomach drops when you flinch

“(Y/N)?”

“Um, Tetsu, can we pause the movie?”

You visibly relax when he does

“Chibi-chan, what’s wrong?”

You explain that yelling/arguments always made you scared

Kuroo thinks back to times he’s raised your voice at you and you would apologize immediately before the situation grew worse

His heart shatters

He kisses your hand and presses it to his cheek

“I’m so sorry, chibi-chan. I love you, I never want to make you feel unsafe, okay?”

It’s a tender moment that makes your love for each other grow even stronger

Kenma (gunshots)

As a gamer, Kenma’s used to loud noises

With him being your boyfriend, you were used to the yelling of the game’s characters and the crazy sound effects

Kenma usually plays action games like Street Fighter and Final Fantasy but he decided to switch it up and play an FPS game

You’d usually watch him play, but this time you left the room

Kenma thinks you’re getting a snack or something, but after a while, you don’t come back

Once he finishes the match, he goes outside and sees you on your phone with headphones on

The music is so loud he can hear it

Gently taps your shoulder to get your attention

“Hey pudding. Tired of watching me play?”

You look up and smile. “No, just wanted some time to myself.”

Kenma’s confused

“Pudding, you usually do that in my room.”

You pause your music and rub your neck hesitantly. “I’m gonna be honest, I don’t like gunshots. They scare me.”

Kenma’s taken aback by how blunt you are, but he’s glad you’re honest with him

He kisses the top of your head, “Thanks for telling me, pudding.”

It’s what your relationship is built on, the ability to be open and vulnerable around each other even if it’s something small

Tsukishima (fireworks)

You’re at a summer festival with Tsukki

You both have yukatas on, looking cute as ever and having a blast

Night falls and the starting time for the fireworks show is announced through the speakers

You tug on Tsukki’s sleeve: “I’m tired, can we go home?”

You don’t know how to tell him that the sound of fireworks scares you

Tsukishima thinks it’s odd because you were the one to drag him to the festival (though he did have a good time)

“Eh? The fireworks are the best part. Let’s stay a bit longer.”

You oblige, thinking, It’s just one show, I can do this

He takes you to a bridge where you can get a clear view of the fireworks above the water

When the first one goes off, you can’t help but jump and cling onto him

Tsukki thinks it’s funny. “You scared, pipsqueak?”

You don’t say anything and press your face further into his body

He has his arm around you and laughing until he hears you sniffle

“Oi, pipsqueak, are you okay?”

Tsukishima leads you away from the show and back to the main festival where it’s empty

He cradles your face in his hands and wipes your tears away

“Sorry,” you murmur. “Guess I ruined the moment, huh?”

Guilt crushes him. “You don’t have to apologize for anything. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have forced you to go.”

Tsukki squeezes you tight

“I love you. You’re safe with me.”

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jaeminzie · 3 years

Text

lion boy | l.mh

↳ mark lee x fem!reader

synopsis: you would never ruin your slytherin image by exposing your crush on the gryffindor head boy. but for mark lee, you’d put it into consideration.

genre: fluff

word count: 2,074

a/n: a new series hehe, i’ve been procrastinating on this but i’m rlly proud with how it turned out ! mark lee best boy sigh ( also happy holidays :] )

part of ‘the dreamies in hogwarts’ series

“can you quit your act already?” your best friend pulled you through the hallways so powerfully causing both of your green robes to flap everywhere, gaining some raised eyebrows from the paintings surrounding your moving bodies. you continued to wince as her grip on your wrist became tighter and her strides became faster, you swear her heavy foot stomps could be heard throughout the castle.

you huffed in annoyance. your best friend has been side eyeing and sighing throughout the entirety of herbology whenever you spoke, but now she decides to speak to you. “what are you on about?” you let out a deep breath once she lets go off your wrist when you reached the restroom. thankfully, it was empty so no one can see you absolutely destroy your friend after she just destroyed your bones from dragging you too hard. “no need to drain all our energies, y/f/n, just talk to me.” you snapped but added a tad bit of sincerity, while dusting your robe.

she stood there, arms crossed and tapping her foot on the tile while watching you with grimace in her eyes. “infuriating, you are.”

“i’m quite aware, thank you very much.” you clicked your tongue and turned to the sink next to you to wash your sweaty hands, not sparing a glance at your friend stood in front of you.

the clicking sound on the tiles stopped and you could see her arms dropping by her sides in the corner of your eye. “you know i love you, right?” despite the wholesome meaning of her words, the way it sounded off her tongue seemed a different story.

breathlessly chucking at your friend, “you have an absurd way of showing it, but yes. i’m also aware of that.” you sighed, wiping your hands on your robe which made your friend cringe as she saw the water streaks appear on the ‘special’ robe.

“you’re the one to talk.” her arms made their way back up against her chest all crossed.

you furrowed your eyebrows so much that you could feel a headache coming. “okay now, what are you talking about?”

“always so oblivious, y/n.” she brought up her hand to tuck in a piece of your hair behind your ear, making you slap her hand away. “get out of my face before i hex you, mark lee.” she mimicked your voice and giggle using an obnoxiously high pitched tone. “you really need to work your on flirting skills.”

your face softened at the mention of his name, and began to heat up once your friend noticed the change in emotion in your eyes. you quickly replied before she could further taunt you, “saying that i want to hex someone means that i’m flirting with them? make it make sense.” you paused to roll your eyes. “and i don’t giggle.” you scoffed, trying your hardest to stop yourself from blushing.

“if you really do despise that boy like how you claim you do, you would’ve done it by now.” she poked your cheek with the tip of her wooden wand. “but you haven’t.” she smirked at you, waiting for the response she wanted but she was not going to get it out of you. at least, not that easily. after a good portion of silence, she dropped her smirk and waved her arms up in the air. “oh my god, just say you like him!”

“i am not saying i like a-“ you whisper, “-a gryffindor.” your friend rolled her eyes at your immaturity. “but is it really that obvious? do you think he’s noticed?”

and her smirk that you wanted to slap away made another appearance. “god no, lee has got to be the biggest dimwit of the school. i can’t believe he’s head-boy of gryffindor.”

you glared at her. “please, he’s not the biggest dimwit if you’re around.” you smiled at the satisfying reaction she gave. “it’s all out of love, babe.” you caressed her hair and reassured her since you were slightly fearing your life after the look she flashed you.

you began to walk out with your friend stomping behind you, clearing still frustrated as her plan didn’t go her way. though she wasn’t about to give up that easily, she needed both you and mark to stop rejecting your obvious feelings toward each other.

though, what both of you failed to hear were the giggles echoing in the bathroom. it seems like your best friend doesn’t have to work so hard for her plan to work.

—

it was a tiresome day and you wanted nothing more than to go back to your common room and relax with your peers. the whole day you’ve gotten weird looks and quick glances from people who you didn’t know even existed. you weren’t phased by it. as a slytherin, it wasn’t uncommon to get odd looks from the new students since they don’t know any better and stereotype. though, it seemed like everyone was looking.

a free period is all you needed, and that is what you had at the moment. using the precious time wisely, you chose the middle courtyard to spend time by yourself in. you walked your way to the area humming your favorite tune since you can finally get a break, then making yourself comfortable on the grass. sighing contently, you took in the fresh air and admired the greenery surrounding you before pulling out your potions book to study before attending after your free period.

being so focused on the words on the book that you barely understood, you didn’t notice the sudden shade casted upon you before hearing someone clear their throat from above you. you turned your head up to that someone — mark lee.

“uh hi,” he croaked. “free period?”

you laughed at the boy, making sure it sounded more like a scoff rather than a giggle. “yes.” you went back to reading the book laid on your lap, ignoring the boy dressed in red. you could honestly barf at how dashing he manages to look in that horrid color.

you could slightly see him fidgeting with his fingers as he tried to say some words, making your heart flutter. “oh same.” you made sure your hair covers majority of your face before smiling at his dry response. he was trying so hard but to him, it wasn’t enough. to you, it was enough to make you feel nauseous over how adorable he was being. god, your best friend would pay to see this moment. you rolled your eyes when you realized that you’d have to share what’s currently happening to your friend later. then she’d finally brag over how she was right all along, never ceasing a moment to use the fact that you’re head over heels over a lion boy against you. but there was nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to mark lee.

“what do you need?” you continued to flip the pages of the damaged book because you couldn’t show your tomato face just yet.

“okay uh-“ he cleared his throat. “i just wanted to inform you that there are rumors going around.”

“about?” you sounded completely uninterested in the topic which surprised mark. you became disappointed since you had hoped that he came to talk to you because he wanted to, not because he felt obligated to. you guess that’s what happens when you aren’t the sweetest to the boy you’ve liked for years.

“apparently, moaning myrtle heard your conversation with y/f/n earlier today and she’s been telling every girl who enters the loo.” he spoke cautiously, trying not to press the wrong buttons of yours.

you felt your heart race. though, you weren’t sure if it was out of nervousness or excitement. maybe both? yes both. you could feel the beating of your heart throughout your whole body and you hoped that mark couldn’t hear how embarrassingly loud it was. you stayed silent until you managed to piece yourself together enough to look at him. “and you’re telling me this because....?”

his voice cracked. “i don’t know. maybe because...” and he cleared his throat once again. “i like you too.” he shoved his hands in his pockets and made direct eye contact with you. you mentally applaud him for the courage, perfectly exhibiting his house’s prominent trait. but the long silence and you not attempting to create a response made his eyes look at everything besides you who calmly sat legs crossed on the grass. he failed to see the adoration that you have for him in your eyes as he was too busy worrying that he had made you ‘despise’ him even more.

mark, undeniably the most popular student in hogwarts, was the one standing above you and looking down at you, but it was obvious that you are the one whose got him wrapped around your finger.

you smirked slightly once you realized that you can have some fun in this. “you think that i’d have even the slightest interest on the muggle born, lion boy that you are?” you teased, quirking your eyebrows.

the overly nervous boy obviously didn’t catch the joking tone laced in your voice but being the gryffindor head-boy he is, mark puffed up his chest and spoke with full confidence. “yeah i do think that.” after getting no response from you, his chest fell down and his back began to hunch. replying with a soft tone that almost made your lip quiver, “i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have even believed in the rumors in the first place. i’ll tell everyone to st-“

the guilt became bigger and bigger the more he talked, and you just couldn’t take the image of him standing there not knowing what to do with his hands anymore. “well you’re right.”

mark’s eyes were popping out of his head with his mouth wide open. “seriously?”

“i mean, wasn’t i obvious?” you stood up and wiped your robe during the process.

he raised his eyebrow and refrained himself form laughing. “you truly have a special way of showing it then.” despite the lighthearted tone in his voice, he still couldn’t look at you.

“so i’ve been told.” you giggled, slightly covering your mouth with your fingers. giggled. mark thought. he immediately looked at you at the sound of your giggling since he’s never made you do that before, and it made his pride swell seeing your eyes crinkle and face glow red by his words.

mark was so entranced by your appearance, he’s never seen you like this before and he could definitely get used to it. so entranced that his body began moving for him, leaning closer and closer with his hands reaching for your waist.

before he was close enough to get a taste of your chapstick, you separated your lips with your index finger. you tutted, “not yet.”

“yet?”

you hummed at his question. “if you work hard enough.” you bend down to gather your books from the ground and mark followed your actions, handing your books.

“of course i will, you know me.” he teased while standing back up with you and flashed a side smile that caused the release of the butterflies caged in the pit of your stomach.

the bell rang, indicating the end of class which meant that everyone should be coming out now. you looked at mark once more, “fortunately.”

his smile grew but disappointment took over his face when he saw you barely stepping back from him.

before turning your back, you poked his chest with your pointer finger — getting surprised at how muscular he felt. wanting to have more fun, you leaned close to his ear and whispered, “i’m counting on you.”

the feeling of your lips brushing against his ear made mark’s face heat up and focus unclear. he only managed to see you strut into the hallways, leaving him flustered and shaking his head at your antics that he found so endearing.

mark continued to watch your figure become smaller and smaller the further you walked away, only getting pulled out of the trance once his friends called out his name. he looked back at you and was met with a genuine smile that you gave him, which made him stumble as he was trying to make his way to his fellow gryffindors. you’re going to make me lose my mind. mark thought. and you made sure to prove him right.

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amor-immortalem · 3 years

Text

Everything Undesired chapter 5

A/N: this went in a completely different direction than the original comic did but I think its better this way. More angstier.

Chapter 4

The glow of blue fire emanates from the Witches’ house. As the three brothers watched, the child tucked safely into Lucifer’s arm, the mood was solemn.

“So, it’s over? What happens now?” Beel asked.

“We go home,” The Avatar of Pride replies, “And we help Mammon do his best to move past this...” He turns to look at his brothers, the glow from the fire casting a dark shadow over his face. “We’re finished here. Let’s go.”

A portal was opened as the eldest walked through followed by the others. On the other side, he found Levi and Belphegor trying to move Satan’s old crib from the attic down to Arella’s old room.

“Come on, Levi, put your back into it!” Belphie said as they moved down the stairs carefully. “I’m practically carrying this thing on my own here.”

“I'm trying! A shut in like me isn’t meant to be moving something so heavy.” Levi groaned as he hefted the crib up further.

Lucifer only cleared his throat as the seventh and third-born brothers looked his way. “Where’s Mammon?”

“I used my powers to put him back to sleep so he could rest up before the kid got here.” The Avatar of Sloth replied. “He doesn’t need to be over-tired and dealing with an infant at the same time. It’s a recipe for disaster, if you ask me. ”

At the commotion, Arella came out of the kitchen where she was washing out all of the old baby bottles they would need. “Oh, you’re back. I can take him now. Beel, would you help them with the crib please? It’ll be going in my old room for the time being, and Satan, would you finish drying the bottles for me, please?”

Both brothers nodded with Beel stepping forth to take the crib from his brothers and Satan headed to the kitchen. Levi and Belphie let out exhausted sighs as they headed off to their rooms and the only two left now in the entrance hall were Lucifer and Arella. She held her arms out for the little one and Lucifer was all too happy to oblige her.

With a small cry of discontentment, the baby settled into her arms quickly as she shushed him. She rocked him gently until he was back to sleep. Seeing her step so readily into the role of motherhood left the demon impressed.

“He’s already had a diaper change around two hours ago and he ate around an hour ago so he should be fine for a little bit.”

”Alright, he is frightfully thin though which worries me, but he’s in good hands now.”

“Why are you doing this, Arella? You know you don’t have to and yet here you are, embracing a child that’s not even yours.”

“Do I need a reason?” She smiles as she looked up at him. “I don’t think I do. I suppose if I have to have a reason it would be that I just want to help Mammon. He can’t do this alone. Don’t you think that’s enough?”

The Avatar of Pride only nodded. “You humans never cease to amaze me with your generosity. Has he thought of a name yet?”

“He threw a couple names out there but ultimately he couldn’t decide so he asked me to choose the name from the ones he suggested.”

“And?”

“I chose the name Cyrus, from the Latin meaning sun. Right now, it’s a very dark time in our lives, but I hope one day he’ll be bright like a little ray of sunshine.”

“Very thoughtful of you,” The demon hums. “But are you sure you’ll be alright tonight? You’ve been up nearly all night. You have to be exhausted by now.”

“I’ll be alright. This isn’t the first time I’ve pulled an all-nighter. When I graduated from Cambridge a couple years back, I earned myself a degree in biochemical engineering. I can’t tell you the number of sleepless nights I had cramming in last minute reviews. This won’t be anything compared to those. I’m obviously not planning to go to RAD tomorrow, so I can just sleep when Cyrus sleeps.”

“You can take online courses then. We’re going to try to pass him off as your child for that to work you’ll need to be absent from RAD for an extended period of time. If word gets out that my brother was assaulted, the mockery he’ll face will be absolutely ridiculous. It’ll be easy since demons don’t know much about human anatomy. We can always say it was a surprise pregnancy and you never showed.”

Arella only nodded at that. “Thank you,” she turned and headed to her old room for the night to settle the baby.

----------------------------------------------

Mammon slept for a full eight hours before waking up with a start. While he felt rested, there was also an odd sense of worry flowing through him. He looked around frantically and then realized what was missing. Arella wasn’t with him. He got out of bed and made his way around the house looking for his mate. She would be in the last place he looked- in her room. He shrunk back at the sight of his child resting against her chest, as a soft purring noise filled the room. The sight reminded him just how much he wanted them to have a child of their own together.

The demon stood there, mesmerized by the sight in front of him until his human noticed him. She motioned for him to join her on the bed, a bright smile enveloped her features as he did just that.

“He’s beautiful, love.” She said as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “Do you want to try to hold him?”

He shook his head as he rested his cheek against her. “I don’t know if I can right now...” The Avatar of Greed only frowned. He wanted to hold Cyrus but he still felt like none of this was real. “It feels like a bad dream... Like I’ll wake up any second now.”

“That’s alright. If it helps, you could pretend that he was always our son to begin with. It might help you in the long run.”

“Do ya think... maybe I can trick myself like that?” He reached out and stroked the child’s cheek. “’Rella, I don’t get it... How can somethin’ so beautiful be born from somethin’ so horrible?”

“Sometimes the best things come from tragedy, Love. I’m so proud of you for being strong enough to take him in, do you know that?”

Mammon would only nod in response as a tiny hand came to wrap around his finger. For a moment all the air was stolen out of his chest as he recoiled from the contact slightly. The feeling of a crushing weight on his chest that he had only felt in his worst nightmares had returned. Suddenly, he wondered if he made the right decision as the realization set in that he was a father now. What if he was never able to love his son? What kind of damage would that do to his child? Could he do this?

“Mammon?”

“I-I’m fine. Don’t worry,” he takes a few deep breaths and he’s able to calm himself. “I'll take him now. Hafta get past this at some point. I hafta be the parent he needs.”

“You will be. I have faith in you.” Arella kissed his cheek before carefully transferring Cyrus to his father. “I know you’ll be a fantastic father once you’re able to see him separately from what his mother and aunts did to you.”

He only nodded as Arella cards her fingers through his hair. He thought this would be a monumental challenge at first, and it still was but as long as she was here, he thought maybe things would go smoother.

—————————————————————

The crying was the worst part for Mammon and Cyrus was unfortunately a fussy baby. Over the past few weeks since he’d been brought home, there were multiple times where the white-haired demon had to leave the room whenever his child cried or pass him off to his adoptive mother, feeling too physically sick to listen to or even look at the child.

The end of the spring term was nearly upon them and since exams would be coming up. Mammon took every chance he could to stay late at RAD for some extra studying with Satan and Asmodeus, knowing he had to get his grades back up. But the guilt was eating away at him. Arella was at home all day, typically alone, with his child. Any good father- any good mate- would be rushing home to give his partner a break to take time for herself and Mammon knows this but even when he doesn’t stay late at school he finds himself dragging his feet to get home.

He stared and stared at the work book in front of him. It was curses and hexes, one of his most hated subjects and arguably his worst grade. Eventually, he just shut the work book, taking of his glasses and just rubbing his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. This caught the attention of his younger brothers.

”You alright, Mams?” Asmo asked as he set his pen down.

”Am I a bad father?” The white-haired demon countered with his own question.

”No, of course not.” Satan frowned. “Given everything that happened, I’d say you’re doing great.”

”It doesn’t feel like it,” he frowned. “This is my kid and yet it feels like Arella’s doin’ all the work. Takin’ care of him all the time, stayin’ home with him all the time… It should be me doin’ all the work not her! I’m the one who said I’d keep him and yet I can’t bring myself to do anything for him. A-And its not like I don’t know how to take care of a baby. I’ve done it before.”

The Avatar of Greed ran a hand through his hair in frustration before packing up his things.

”Where are you going?” Satan yelled after his brother before being shushed by the librarian.

”Home! To apologize to my mate and force myself to take care of my child.”

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Masterlist 2

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me! shall we date?#obey me angst #mammon angst #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me oc #arella #cyrus

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