How do you think the Cullen couples ask each other to prom each time?
Alice tells Jasper what he'll be wearing to prom, and Jasper says "Yes, dear."
Edward composes a sonata, performs it for Bella, concludes it by declaring his undying love for her, she's his sun who turned black night into day, light of his life, fire of his loins, would she go to prom with him?
Emmett fails to realize Rosalie wanted unironic romance, and makes crop circles. This, but it says "PROM??"
The next year he does a traditional crop circle that's aesthetically pleasing and shockingly intricate for something Emmett-crafted, failing to realize that Rosalie wasn't upset because the crop circle wasn't symmetrical, she was upset because it was a fucking crop circle.
69 notes · View notes
I am writing a research essay and in one of the articles I am reading for it, the writer asks a question. In Twilight, Bella leaves her humanity to become vampire. In Shrek, Fiona gives up her humanity to become become ogre. Yet, Bella's choice is seen as bad, while everyone is happy with Fiona. The question this article poses is
Is Shrek more appealing as a spouse than Edward Cullen?
Now, we can't just let this question hang in the air, can we?
24 notes · View notes
Which of the cullens are cat persons and which are dog persons?
Oh I like this one.
- Bella. She canonically wanted a dog, and is needy enough that a dog's boundless, energetic affection would be right up her alley. Hate to say it but this girl would not be able to handle the crippling self-doubt that follows when your cat doesn't want scritches. (Correction: turns out she's a bit on the fence, ultimately thinks cats are probably more her thing. But she did try to get a dog. She belongs under "Indifferent".)
- Emmett, not just because he's an outdoorsy type who under normal, human, circumstances would love to have a dog by his side, but also because - well - testosterone. Guy thing. Real men have dogs.
- Rosalie wants the idyllic white picket fence life, and that means a golden retriever in the yard. He would be called Bodger.
- Alice might be interested in dressing them up. Apart from that... nah.
- Carlisle grew up in a time when animals were not pets the way they are now. I'd assume likes cats since they get rid of mice and rats, and dogs since they can be trained to do useful things.
Doesn't mean he'd want either one under his roof.
- Edward would never put it this way, but he is above cats and dogs. If he had to choose, though, I think dogs. He'd wax some poetic about how pure they are.
- Renesmée. Mostly because of one @keepingupwiththecullens strip (I can't find the specific one. I recommend the whole blog, though, it's amazing) where Renesmée is gifted an adorable bunny and she proceeds to eat the damn thing. I doubt I'd have seen Renesmée as a pet person either way, but... yeah she'd eat that adorable puppy or kitten. Thanks, mom, it was delicious.
- Esme. Dogs are out of the question, they're dirty animals and get hairs everywhere. Cats have hairs too, and will scratch up your couch, but they're tidy animals. More importantly, they look and act very much like babies in need of mothering. Who can resist an abandoned kitten she finds in the woods? Not Esme.
I mean that in every sense of the term, Esme can't resist the kitten.
- Jasper I can see go either way, but I'm inclined towards cats. Their temperaments match, and in an ideal world where vampires and pets went together I imagine the calm contentment of a purring cat would be catnip great for Jasper.
To say nothing of the raw power you wield when you can stare at a cat from across the room and instantly make it purr.
55 notes · View notes